That Deja Vu Moment

Friday, July 17/2015

Please note that I originally started writing this entry back on Saturday, July 4/2015 and have been editing and tweaking it every since but feel it's as good as it's going to get and ready for your reading pleasure.

I tend to do that....begin writing a post, stop to do something, and go back and finish it later. I think there are still 3-4 posts in draft form sitting in my workspace.



Today's suggested song is "Dreams" by Beck

I've had today's blog topic percolating around for a few days now and on the drive home from the driving range this tune came on Live 88.5 and things just all came together.

What exactly is Deja Vu?  Well the Wikipedia free dictionary defines it as follows:

Déjà vu, (ⁱ/ˌdeɪʒɑː ˈvuː/; French pronunciation: ​[de.ʒa.vy]) from French, literally "already seen", is the phenomenon of having the strong sensation that an event or experience currently being experienced, has already been experienced in the past, whether it has actually happened or not


Pretty simple enough and I bet each and every one of us has had a moment where we've stopped what we were doing and thought to ourselves that it all seemed like we'd been here before, I know I've had those moments more times than I'd like to count.

This post came about due to some dreams I've had over the last few weeks, now none of them have come true but that is the kicker, I know some of my dreams are actually a precursor of a future event as those are my Deja Vu moments. I've been somewhere new and it's suddenly dawned on me that everything around me is just too familiar, that I can find my way around without any difficulties or getting lost. When I first visited Ottawa it all felt like home and yet I'd never been here before in my life prior to 1994, but I knew how to get places using different roads that my ex had no clue about.

The same holds for people I've supposedly met for the first time, I'm either comfortable with them or on edge, both sensations are usually dead on in terms of how I should feel. I'm a big believer that a persons first instinct is usually dead on, not to tempt fate by going against it, and have learned this the hard way when I used to think I was nuts for feeling like I'd already met the person.

Now the dreams I had are pretty specific with people I've already met, notice I said people and not person, and the events that happen in them offer me some clues about recent events in my life, both good and bad events.

Now I'm not going to get into any of the details of either of these dreams other than to say when they happen, and they will in some form of that I am sure, I'll pause for a moment, smile to myself as it hits me that I've already done this once, and let nature take its course.

What are your Deja Vu moments like? Do you enjoy them or do they frighten you?

Been a Busy Week

July 13/2015

So I haven't posted an entry to the blog in more than a week so thought I should give everyone an update before the panic sets in and people think I'm doing a disappearing act again :)

Things have really picked up in my life on all fronts - parenting, coaching, working, and even relationship wise. Let me add all in a good way.

Parent wise you'd think things would be slow with summer vacation here but my son had a bit of a stumble with his math so his mom and I have been talking about what options exist to help get him back on track and ready for Grade 11 this fall.  We've decided to have him do some tutoring for the next few weeks and you can guess how that went over with him. Like my ex said, all we asked was a certain minimum and he struggled to achieve it so now he has to pay the piper.

Work has gotten really busy as people send things my way. I think over the past few weeks I've done more new stuff than I did in the prior five years at my old company. My boss has been super cool and easy to talk to about the new projects and it really has me feeling like a new person. More than one person has commented that I look so much happier at the new job than I ever did at the old one. So true and so happy that change came my way. Didn't like the change of being told my services were no longer needed but amazing how one companies discard becomes another companies gem!!

Coaching has seen me take a much more active role with my son's competitive soccer team and I think the results speak volumes - 3 wins and 1 tie in the last four games. The results are nice and sort of vindicate my belief in myself as a coach but the more rewarding aspect is that the lads seem to be enjoying themselves safe in the knowledge that I'm doing my best to shield them from undue criticism. Think it's still early in the process but the most recent email I received from the head coach thanked me for switching around practices from Friday to Sunday and reminded me to keep doing what I'm doing for "our" team.  Best part is my son is actually having fun once again and happy I stepped up to help out, for me the nice thing is that I've shown myself that I can be a more relaxed coach in a very competitive environment and not lose my "shit" when things aren't going as planned.

Relationship wise let me just say that C and I are talking again and taking things slow. Our talks have helped me understand better what she was going through with all the changes her new position were forcing on her and let me express how lost her making a decision on her own without any discussion between us that impacted both our lives in a huge way.  My daughter asked me if I was sure I wanted to go down that road again knowing how much I got hurt and I told her absolutely as being open to hurt means my feelings are real and that C means so much to me.......love means feeling joy and the occasional heart ache, doesn't mean giving up.

There is a reason there is a phrase "second chance" and I 'm a big believer in it. I've gotten more than my fair share of second chances so it would be hypocritical of me to deny one to someone I care so deeply about.

We're doing our best not to get too far ahead of ourselves and I'm sure we'll both have those moments where we hesitate and worry about where this is all headed and that's fine as it's part of being in a relationship. The key thing is we've agreed to talk before making decisions and I don't think we could ask for more than that now could we?

My Parent Coach Struggle From Thursday

Friday, July 3/2015

So last night was one of those double duty nights that I think are going to be the norm for me this summer in that both my kids had a game at the same time. Now my ex and I have worked out a system so that one of us is at each kids game showing our support. Sometimes we get lucky, not that kind of lucky as we are just friends now so get your mind out of the gutter, and my son's game will be at 6:30 and my daughter will play at 8:30 so we can actually see both of them play.

Last night wasn't one of those nights as they both played at roughly the same time and since it is my free week custody wise I was going to see my daughter play out near Mooney's Bay. My daughter is a very competitive, wonder where she gets that from lol, and weeks I don't see her play at least one of her games, she plays for two different teams in different leagues, leaves her feeling out of sorts and moody so I do my best to catch at least one.

As I was driving to her game I was getting texts from my ex saying the head coach for my son's team wasn't at the field and since I'm an assistant coach for the team she wondered if I knew if he was going to be there or not. I pulled over, safety first, and texted back that I'd sent him my notes on Tuesday's 2-2 draw and reminded him I wasn't going to the Thursday game in order to watch my daughters game and he hadn't said he wasn't available for the game. I asked if the team manager had printed both his name and mine on the game sheets, she checked and said the manager told her she was always printing my name on them as this isn't the first time our HC has been a no show, not told anyone what is going on, or been late. It was now 15 minutes to game time and if I turned around right now I could be there just in time so I asked her what she thought, telling her I was kind of disposed to not going to his game and letting the club deal with this issue as there have been a lot of rumblings from the parents about the lack of coaching the team is getting, not for lack of effort on my part but it's hard to do things when the HC shows up and changes everything at the last minute.

She said no, continue onto the daughters game and she'd keep me posted. As I drove into the parking lot at the soccer pitch she sent me another text saying the boys were playing but without any coach as the team manager was trying to work things out but was really pissed off as she wasn't qualified to coach a representative team. I called my ex as I walked to the field, waving at my daughter as she was warming up, and told her the game wasn't legal and I was shocked the referee actually let them play as the rules state there as to be a coach on the sidelines. I told her I was going to talk to the head coach for the club itself as this has been going on for far too long and we didn't move him to this club to end up with a wasted season without any coaching. She said there were several parents planning on doing that as well and maybe the groundswell would see some changes, she hesitated and asked me if I'd be OK coaching his team full time as the head coach as my name was being mentioned by a lot of the parents and I said I would step up as this team has great potential and at least that way we would know our son was actually going to learn this summer.

We hung up and I watched my daughters game, she played awesome as she was playing her more natural position of outside midfielder versus the back line where she has been the last few games covering off for some injuries. My ex texted me the running score of our sons game and let me know the HC showed up just before halftime with some kind of excuse about going to our home field, that didn't fly as he had sent emails to the team reminding them it was an away game.......

My daughters team ended up winning 2-0 in a real physical battle and I was relieved she didn't get a yellow card as she isn't the kind of player to let anyone foul her over and over, goes back to that competitive nature she has. My son's team won 4-3 but from the texts I was getting on their drive home he wasn't too happy with things. When I got home I spoke with him briefly about it and could clearly hear in his voice that he was fighting back some tears. Seems all he got was criticism for not controlling the ball and shooting enough, yet according to his mom he'd made the pass that led to 3 of the 4 goals scored. I told him to relax and he wasn't going to the Friday practice while I sorted things out.

After we hung up I thought how best to deal with the situation and remembered when I had parents mad at me when I was a head coach, usually because their precious child wasn't playing as much as they thought they should or the position they wanted, both playing time and formations are a coaches decision, especially at the rep level.

So I did something I've never done before and wrote a letter outlining all the shortcomings from our coach beginning with the lack of practices, the two weeks he was off the radar and left me to deal with the team, and suggested the CHC might find it beneficial to have a dialogue with some of the parents in order to get a better understanding of the situation and mounting frustrations.

I've not heard anything back yet but since this is my custody week you know I'll be at Tuesday's practice as well as standing on the teams sideline at Thursday's game. Might be time I put on my big boy pants and shake things up a bit.

Might be an interesting week soccer wise for me :)

The Text Message That Has Me Sweating A Bit

Thursday, July 2/2015

So late last night I got a text from my son telling me he had another question for me and it was a really good one.

Normally these don't make me blink twice but after our chat yesterday I admit to being more than a little apprehensive about his next line of questions. I texted him back to go ahead and ask away and he replied he'd wait for a face to face moment as he wanted to be able to focus on the topic.

So now I've got two days to try and get my shit together and prepare myself for pretty much any topic under the sun.

Sometimes I wish I'd had girls and not one of each as that way my ex would be getting these messages but than I think with my luck I'd be like Mike Baxter from Last Man Standing and have a tomboy who would still be asking me the tough ones.

As hard as it may be, question wise, I'll put on my big boy pants and do the best I can. Hell, I'm already ahead of the game in relation to my own experiences growing up with my parents.

Bring it on son, give me your best shot as I'm ready for it, like I've been since the morning you made your appearance in my life :)

My Son Strikes Again.....

Wednesday, July 1/2015

Today's next song suggestion is "Come And Get It" by John Newman.

I've been listening to his album Tribute a lot since coming across one of the songs on an episode of Suits. I find several of the songs reverberate with me and when that happens I tend to put them on a loop and play them over and over.

So it wasn't my intent to post a second entry today but as usual life had other plans for me so here I am writing another entry.

This one comes courtesy of my son so all credit goes to him, whether earned or not.  He does tend to provide me with a lot of fodder for the blog, sometimes good and full of laughs and other times more thought provoking and the source of more than a few tears on my part.

As I mentioned in my Happy Canada Day post earlier today my son is meeting up with friends to enjoy the day at the KRC so when he asked me to drive him over to his girlfriends dads place it was expected and off we went.

Now her dad lives in the same neighbourhood as my ex so we have to drive right past her place which should feel kind of odd but doesn't in the least. I guess it would be weird if there was any romantic feelings for her but those are long gone and have been replaced with a nice sense of friendship. If I had to admit to my feelings towards her I'd say they border on those I might have for a sibling if I had one. The best thing we have going is the ability to continue to like one another, placing our kids welfare above all else, and being able to talk without letting any emotions get in the way.

So as we drove down the street I saw a man walking a dog and for some reason it made me think of Miles the purebred chocolate Labrador he shares with his mom. I asked him if his mom or T, her boyfriend, took him for walks and he said they do but he, my son, doesn't as Miles has a mind of his own and is quite a handful at 85 pounds to control. I laughed and said I bet and was glad he got out for walks as Miles is the male version of Moki, a huge baby who has to have attention like it was air or water. As a family we've been really fortunate in the pets we've had as all have been affectionate and awesome to the extreme.

As he drove past the soccer pitch I spent more hours on last year than I thought possible a commercial came on the radio for Hot 89.9 about their latest contest and I sort of laughed out loud which caused my son to ask what was so funny. Now some background is probably in order here so things make sense context wise. Hot 89.9's new promotion and contest is to get your picture taken with the Hot 89.9 Beaver and post it with the hash tag #SpotTheHotBeaver. Here in Canada it is accepted that beaver is also slang for a certain part of a woman's anatomy...think about it for a moment and it'll come to you...no pun intended lol

That of itself didn't make me laugh but rather the give and take that the Morning Hot Tub had yesterday with Mauler and Rush doing everything they could to make Jenni laugh as they used as many sexual innuendos as possible. They finally got her when Rush mentioned it might rain today which when added to some humidity would make for a rather hot and wet beaver whereupon Jenni said not if it used an umbrella and was covered up. Took her a moment to think about her choice of words before all three were laughing as well as most listeners I'd venture to say.

So knowing there was no way around his question, not that I would look for one as my position with my children as always been I'll honestly answer any and all questions they ask as long as they understands the question and accept the consequences of any answers, I glanced at him and asked he if understood what a sexual innuendo was and he said sort of and looked at me with renewed interest knowing inside that something good was developing.

I took a deep breath and asked him what he knew about beavers. He looked at me with that look that said he thought I was losing it and said it was an animal and there were many in the national capital region where we lived. Hearing the last part of his answer had me bursting with laughter and him saying "What?" in a rather pissed off tone.

I took a deep breath and explained that beaver was a sexual innuendo for a vagina and that the entire commercial was one long joke. He smiled and said he understood but didn't get why I laughed when it came on and I explained about yesterday's morning show and I could see some confusion once again so I decided to take it easy on him by recounting it. As I did I could sense the wheels turning and a slight blush developing on his face.

There was a few moments where nothing was said before he deadpanned to me "I like beaver" and I laughed and replied "You and me both buddy"

As I made a turn he said one thing about the promo was silly and I asked what and he said aren't all beavers hairy, wet, and hot when it rains?  Now I knew what he meant but was extremely proud of him for running with the whole innuendo thing and not asking the question straight out as that would have made the conversation a little more awkward lol

I gave some thought to how much farther this conversation might go and realized it didn't have much time left as we were close to our destination.  I told him that not all were hairy as some were trimmed, some different colours, and some were actually quite bald. He then shocked me by asking if that was where the saying "carpets matching the drapes" comes from. I said I didn't know if that was its origination but it has been around for as long as I can remember.

He then shocked me further by asking how I liked it and I almost choked and considered declining to answer him but thought in for a penny in for a pound and told him I'm not a fan of the bald beaver. He laughed and said he'd thought he had me at that one making me realize he is trying to find the question I won't answer as well as pushing his own boundaries.

As we pulled up to his girlfriends dad's house he leaned over to give me a hug and thanked me for the ride and the talk. I told him to enjoy himself, stay with his friends, be aware of his surroundings, and if he couldn't get a hold of his mom later to text me and I'd come and get him. He asked what I was doing today and I told him maybe some golf and Netflix tonight. He wished me a good round and then hesitated for a brief moment before saying he could hang out with me if I wanted. I asked where that had come from as I knew his plans had been building all week and he replied he didn't like me being alone all the time and remembered the plans I had set earlier this year.

I felt a tear and told him I was fine and wanted him to enjoy himself with his friends and not worry about me. He asked if I was sure and I assured him I was. He told me he was sorry things didn't work out like I had hoped and I said life has a way of keeping one on their feet so don't spend so much time worrying about me and spend more time experiencing life for yourself.

He smiled at me and got out of the car and headed up the driveway, turning once to way at me.

It sucks to be spending this day alone once again but I was this close to having someone special to share it with, encouragement that it might still happen for me.

So once more my incredibly attentive son had me smiling, laughing, and almost crying. I consider it a good day when some of those emotions happen thanks to him and his sister.

The funny thing is that I know he only has these kinds of conversations with me as does his sister with my ex. I'm thankful each of them feels comfortable enough to talk to one of us about anything and they actually do it on a daily basis.

I'm there for my kids no matter what the topic, the outcome, or the emotional price it may cost me. I don't think there is anything better I can accomplish in my life than that simple act for them.

Happy Birthday Canada!!!!

Wednesday, July 1/2015

Today's song suggestion is "Oh Canada"   Did you really expect anything else lol

For a different sound on the national anthem try "Oh...Canada" by Classified and you can find the YouTube video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF62J3vxPdQ


Today marks the 148th birthday of Canada as a country.

We've come so far as a nation and have some ways to go before we get to the point we are seeking.

We balance a form of benevolent socialism with a dynamic form or capitalism. That socialism takes the form of our national universal health care system and I think it sets us apart from our cousins down south.  Well that and our love of hockey, igloo's, toques, beavers, and chasing polar bears out of our towns. Hopefully most will see the tongue in cheek joke that most of the just mentioned things aren't really true, really only three and I'll leave it to the reader to decide which three :)

I awoke to find clouds and some rain to mark such a special day and wondered for a moment if my own mood had brought on the weather and than just shook it off to a coincidence. How could my mood have influenced the weather you ask, well it's pretty simple as this was to be the year I spent Canada Day with someone enjoying the day as in years past I've never been in a relationship and my custody works that this week almost always falls with my son at his mom's.

I do have my son for the morning as he slept over last night after his teams 2-2 draw last night and their first points earned in the standings. It's not my week with him but my ex had a party to attend last night and asked if I would be able to do the soccer game and I jumped at the chance, what father wouldn't take advantage of extra time with his children?.

My son will head off around noon to hang out with his girlfriend and friends to enjoy some of the festivities going on at the local recreation complex and his mom will pick them up later when things are over.

As for myself, well originally I was going to be up in the valley celebrating Canada Day with C and her organization as they put on a really good event. It was going to be another introduction to her organization and I was really excited to go when we first talked about it. I'm proud of C and the position she holds as well as her organization, but sad that I won't get to see her shine in her new environment today.

So now my plans will involve my new duties of driver for my son, taking Moki for a walk or two, and maybe trying to sneak in a round of golf if the weather allows.

Come tonight when I hear the fireworks I'll think of my son and hope he is enjoying himself, wonder if my daughter is down in the throng of people crowding Parliament Hill, and imagine the kiss I would have shared with C as her eyes twinkled with the lights from the fireworks exploding overhead.

Happy Birthday Canada!!!!!!!!!!

My response to the message from RedTart69

Sunday, June 28/2015

Earlier today I received a message from an anonymous user that was signed as RedTart69 and went as follows:

"Marcus, I love the blog and most of what you've written about made me think you have your shit together for a man, least till you resumed blogging after things went south with C.

You've stated in a few postings that you don't know what happened but I think you do and don't want to face it. Either way you need to grow a set of balls and man up or cut the bitch loose for hurting you and get back to living and blogging without being so damn morose about your loss"

Pretty harsh words from someone sitting on the sidelines and it had me seeing red for a bit, but taking some time to think about it before responding in anger, something my ex taught me and I've tried to use more and more in my life, led me to conclude that RedTart69 made some valid points in her message, points I might have tried to get across with a tad bit more tact but we all communicate in different ways.

I honestly wish I did know but the fact that I don't does not give me license to brood over it in every single blog entry, so for that you have my apologies as the blog is supposed to be about dating, relationships, family, and a host of other things faced in my daily single life.

As for my set of balls, as you so eloquently put it, trust me they are just fine and shall continue to be fine as I move forward in my search for the One. Yes, we are back to the One in our posts as she is out there. I may have already met her, lost her, or still to find her, but find her I shall as being single for life is neither my goal nor acceptable.

The One is my goal but having her for the sake of having her is not an option. I'm worth more than that and so is she. Equal partners in our pursuit of happiness is the only relationship I'll ever deem worthy of my participation.

As for the "cutting the bitch loose" comment let me respond by saying go fuck yourself!

I've never once said anything negative about C and nor shall I as my life was enriched so much by having her in it and the love she gave me. Yes, love as in the whole sense. Knowing her has made me a better friend, partner, father, and potential mate. I don't understand how not knowing someone or the circumstances around a break up can give someone artistic license to rip another person through the use of crude names.

If I'm the wounded party in this what do you think gives you the smallest chance in hell of calling her such a disgusting name? I'll answer for you, absolutely nothing!!!

I'm all for open and two way communications but I do draw the line at such attacks on a subject where the whole story isn't known, not by myself or you the reader, so let's try and keep that in mind when sending a message from this point onward.

Seriously, for all I know I talked in my sleep and said another women's name or said I didn't like her children and she is trying to be nice and let me off the hook without really crushing my feelings. Just for the record I'm willing to be my mortgage money that I didn't do either of those things as I never even noticed other women when we were together and I thought her kids were as awesome as mine and past postings can attest how much I like my own kids :-)

No, I may not know for a long time, or possibly ever, what made her change her mind about me and us, but that anger and hurt is mine to carry and mine alone so please remember that and show the both of us some respect please.

I've truly loved two women in my life and both crushed my heart. The first took me a long time to get over and deal with before I started dating again. The most recent hurts even more than the first as I thought she was the One and didn't see any issues. My hope is that by being open about it, talking about it through the blog and a pretty good therapist, that my recovery time won't be measured in years but maybe months.

At the moment I'm damaged goods and I've put myself in the shop for repairs. These damaged goods don't make for good dates nor do they partake of rebound relationships, though it seems like being hurt and in pain somehow acts like a sign to some people to act upon. There is a post coming on this last one but that is for another day.

So while I'm single once again I'm not dating material, not anywhere near that point in life....yet

I'll do my best to mix up the entries and post less about C and more about the rest of the things going on in my life, but that doesn't mean there aren't some nights when I'm sipping a nice Pinot Grigio and thinking about a certain lady and the twinkle in her eyes and feeling the butterflies I still get when she crosses my mind.

Golf - The First Round of the Season

Sunday, June 28/2015

Today's song is courtesy of Suits Season 4 Episode 1 "Love Me Again" by John Newman

The YouTube video for this song is very interesting and it can be found at -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfihYWRWRTQ

For those left wondering about the end of the video - see his video "Cheating" for the answer :)


Yesterday was my first real round of golf for this season and the results were about what I expected.

I say first real round as I played a full 18 at a regulation course, not like the two 9 hole rounds I got in back in early May.

It also marked the first time I talked with my friend B who I used to work with at my old job. I've been tying to avoid meeting or talking to anyone at the old job as it just feels awkward but with B it's different as we have connections outside work through golf and soccer. We usually golf about once a week in the summer and I've coached both of his daughters in winter soccer for the last few years and on competitive teams with my daughter a few years back.

We played at Sandpoint, the old Arnprior Golf Course, and I have to say it is in great shape. As we teed off on number one he gave me some background on changes at the course and off we went. I've always liked Sandpoint as it has the right amount of challenging holes paired up with some great layouts that make me really have to use my whole game, what there is of a game lol

It was pretty obvious from my play that I need to get some lessons to work on my driving as I think I only hit one drive over 250 yards and while I didn't totally suck it still felt like I was grinding my way through the round. Something I've had to do many times before but yesterday was just sort of offsetting and I couldn't shake it.

Now as usual B and I spent the time catching up on things, how things were going at the old company, how my new job was developing, and how the families were doing. Is it telling on how lucky I am to be gone from the old place that he asked me if my new company was hiring?

As we made the turn onto the back 9 talk turned to our respective games and I commented on how his normal fade wasn't as pronounced as usual and he laughed and said he hadn't played enough rounds for it to creep into his game yet. As I prepared to tee off on 13 he said he was surprised by my driving since he figured all my rounds playing up on the courses in the valley would have helped me by now and it dawned on me he was referring to talks we'd had about my summer plans and didn't know about C and our relationship. I didn't reply right away and instead managed my own good drive as I thought about the valley, crushing what would turn out to be a 275 yard drive - exceptional for me.  We traded spots and after he hit his driver and was in his follow through I told him C had broken up with me and I hadn't been on a course anywhere in the valley. He stood there, dropped his driver in shock, and said "Shit, man I'm so sorry, I saw how happy she made you".

As we walked down the fairway he asked what happened and I laughed and said I really didn't have a clue. He stopped and asked what did that mean and I told him what she told me and he just looked at me like I was speaking Mandarin to him. I said I know, imagine how I feel and sort of laughed.

He asked how come I hadn't called and talked to him about it, what was I doing about it, and was there anything he could do to help. I smiled and said calling a friend to tell them the love of my life was gone and I didn't really know why wasn't high on my bucket list, that there really wasn't anything I could do but pick up the pieces of my life and make the best of it. I asked him if he knew of any cures I could use to fill the huge fucking hole in my heart and he just shook his head and said he wished he did.

We played the last few holes in silence, each of us thinking different thoughts about the same thing.

As we loaded our clubs into our cars he asked if I wanted to go into the clubhouse and get a drink and talk but I said not today, things were still a bit too raw even though it's been almost seven weeks, seven weeks but feels like it all happened yesterday. B then did something that completely took me by surprise, he gave me a hug and reminded me that love had found me once and would do so again if I just kept my head up and my heart open.

As I drove home I thought about what my summer had looked like just a few short weeks ago and how I never knew one could miss something that hadn't even happened yet but miss it I did.

I had plugged my iPhone into the radio and today's recommended song came on and it made me wonder if life offers seconds chances and what I would do if one came my way, if my cell suddenly lit up with a text, a call, or my inbox had a email pop up........

Love made me feel alive and now it leaves me gasping for air..........

Music & the Blog

Friday, June 26/2015

I normally include a musical recommendation with each blog entry I post but haven't for some of the recent posts.

There is neither rhyme nor reason to what makes me select a particular artist or if I even make the recommendation.

Sometimes I'll hear a song and it will trigger an entry and sometimes as I'm writing an entry a song will come to mind. For the most part I believe the song chosen reflects my mood at that specific moment.

On a different site I used to mix it up and recommend songs, movies, and books.  I found books are people specific so stopped commenting on them as it just felt like I was reaching with some of my suggestions.  Movies should be easier but I've found we all have different tastes and what is good for me might not work for you. Case in point, I love Rom Com's (romantic comedies) and I've found a lot of women I've talked with really don't, so suggesting one always left me scratching my head a bit wondering how it was being perceived.

But music is something entirely different as I have a very open mind when it comes to music and pretty much have a song or two from most genre's. Well most genre's that are in the mainstream and by this I don't mean soda pop rock or heavy metal but music a lot of people listen to day in and day out. So that means you won't find much polka, let alone any, on my iPod or in my music library, but you will find soulful love songs from the likes of Norah Jones to heavy metal combined with orchestral arrangements with Metallica & SFO to old school boogie by Earth Wind & Fire to 60's rock by the Beach Boys/Beatles/CSN&Y to current indies like Marianna's Trench to Simple Plan to Blink 182 to electric house music like Calvin Harris and David Guetta.

Where do I get it all?  A lot of it is stuff I stumble across on various radio stations, some I knew from my own youth, and some from my kids, well mostly my son as he loves to share new music with me and see my reaction as it plays. His favourite thing to do is plug his phone in the car when we are driving somewhere and play some new tunes for me and get my feedback.  These are moments I treasure as I remember growing up and my own dad knowing the lyrics to the majority of songs he heard and I hope years from now my own son has such memories to reflect upon with his own children.

But there won't always be a song recommended and that is just part of life. Sometimes nothing special comes to mind right off the bat and even if one does come up later after the blog has been posted I'm not usually too keen on editing something I've already posted, though I have done so when I've noticed some misspelled word or poor grammar.

So there is some background on the music you might see on the blog.

I always have my phone with me as it is my life anchor that keeps me readily accessible to my family and friends. In my car and the backpack that I carry to work you'll find extra USB power cords and ear buds as I can't be far from the tunes.......

TGIF!!!!

Friday, June 26/2015

TGIF everyone!!!!

Been a pretty busy week with the new job, my son's last exam, and some soccer practices/games so I'm really looking forward to the weekend.

I'm heading into what I jokingly like to refer to as my bachelor week since my son transitioned to his mom's place last night after his sisters soccer game. Normally he would have gone over at some point in time today but there is a birthday party for one of his buddies happening at lunch and he didn't want any stress on not getting picked up on time lol

Last night was double soccer duty as both kids had a game, my son at 6:30 and my daughter at 8:30. The double dip Thursday is going to be common this summer but the nice thing is when her team has home games they don't start till 8:30 and thus provides me a chance to see both games.

His game was pretty awful with a 6-1 loss but offset by her teams 2-2 draw that keeps them in second place. I think there is going to be a coaching change soon with his team as the current head coach has too much on his plate right now and there have been a lot of rumblings from the parents. Been doing my best to stay on the sidelines but my ex did give me a heads up that my name has come up as the preferred choice to coach the remainder of the season. Not sure how I feel about it other than at least the coach would know the players, the best formation to use, and where to play the lads. Something that was brutally lacking last night. I'll keep you all updated future developments.

My plans for the weekend reflect the exciting life I lead - cutting the lawn tonight and doing some laundry, playing golf tomorrow and running some errands, and Sunday I'm debating going to see the new Jurassic World movie.

I'm not sure whether to be proud I have a list of things to check off or hang my head in shame at the actual things on my list lol  I don't think anyone will ever confuse me with a swinging bachelor and I'm ok with that. After all, I am just being true to the guy I am inside :)

So what big plans do the readers have? Please tell me there are dates lined up, gatherings of friends to attend, and social soirees to be caught at by the paparazzi.

No, there aren't?  Then lie to me for gosh sakes lol

I've been going through some old blogs I had posted elsewhere and think I might import them over as some were pretty good, well in my humble opinion.

New Guy @ Lunch

Wednesday, June 24/2015

Well as I've recently posted, I've started a new position and it feels pretty good to be back using my brain for something other than trying to figure out whether I should cut the front lawn or take Moki for yet another walk.

I will say the last few weeks have been actually good for me in a lot of ways. First, I've developed a much better appreciation for my spending habits and how making some subtle changes can have a large impact on my savings. Secondly, the free time allowed me to get a tremendous amount of things off my to-do list that I never seemed to get around to on the weekends. My house is much cleaner now from having purged rooms of stuff I know my son and I will never use again, much to the benefit of Value Village, as well as my hall closet now having only prescriptions and over the counter remedies for various things that are current and not past an expiry date.

When I landed my new position I had one final meeting with my career coach and we talked about ways to approach being the new guy. One thing I've always been is a bit of a loner and I told him that was something I wanted to confront right off the bat and he thought that was a great start but asked how I was going to go about it. I told him when volunteers were sought for company events I was going to stand up and get myself chosen and to handle the day to day aspect I was going to actually talk to people outside of the daily responsibilities I've got on my plate.

Our building has a cafeteria where you can buy your lunch or just take your made at home meal and sit at a table with coworkers and chat.  So far I've been out to lunch twice with people from my department but today was the real test as I brought my lunch, and saved myself about $8 as well, and went to eat it in the cafeteria.  When I entered there was a few empty table, some with employees from other companies in the building,  some occupied by engineers from mine, and one with members of the sales & marketing team.  Now old me would have walked to one of the empty tables and ate lunch while reading my tablet but new me left the tablet in my bag at my desk and walked over the marketing group and asked if anyone was using the empty seat, upon being told no and to join them I did just that - points for me!!

Now while sitting there they took the opportunity to ask me lots of questions about myself and I did my best to be open with my responses. There is one woman who is hilarious and pretty much the glue that holds the place together, she makes sure everyone has the stuff they need and has been on me every day if I needed anything to complete my desk space. Her name starts with L so we'll just use that when talking about her.

As the Q&A session wound down she leaned forward and stated very openly that everyone was a big chicken and how come it always fell to her to ask the key question? She looked at me and tongue in cheek said "since they won't address the elephant in the room let me, are you single or attached?"

To say the table almost broke up laughing would be an understatement.  I looked around and realized this question had been floated around among the majority of the floor and it dawned on me that I hadn't given anyone a clue as to my status other than to mention my kids and having an ex.

I took a moment and looked out the window to catch my train of thought and a woman who goes by S said that was kind of a personal question and I didn't have to answer. I smiled and said in for a penny in for a dollar and replied that I was single. That was all I said but you could see the wheels turning with some of them. I guess at some point my 3rd rule of dating is going to come into play - Rule #3 Don't date where you work.

Lunch broke up and back to work we went. My afternoon has been going not too bad when S stopped by my desk and leaned over to softly tell me "You're in love with someone but dealing with a broken heart aren't you?"  I jerked my head and looked directly at her and she smiled and before I could say anything added "It was in your eyes when you looked out the window when L asked you"

I nodded and said I thought I'd turned the page on those feelings but got a heady reminder yesterday that my heart was still owned by another. S just smiled at me, patted me on the arm, and said to me that love wasn't done with me yet so don't give up and then walked back to her desk and took a call from a vendor in Germany.

Now I have no clue how she figured that out from just my facial expressions as I know I haven't said a word to anyone here about my private life but somehow it was there for her to see.

What does this mean for me? I don't have a clue and am going to try like hell not to read too much into it but the reminders from yesterday did leave me a little weak kneed and resulted in a restless sleep.

On the plus side I've been doing just what I wanted and being much more approachable :)

Special Request

Wednesday, June 24/2015

Last Saturday as I was loading my car with groceries my cell rang with a call from the mom of one of my son's friends and former teammate from house league soccer.

Now getting a call is nothing out of the ordinary as this particular friend had followed my son from house league to competitive and since I've been acting as an assistant coach and temporary head coach, the current head coach has been absent due to some travel for work and the birth of his son 2 weeks ago, I figured there were some questions about practices coming up.

Well it was a soccer related call but not about the team but rather about the players upcoming birthday. J turns 16 this week and he was really interested in having a soccer party at the Sensplex like my son had at the Ben Franklin Dome back in April when he turned 16.

As J's mother mentioned the day she was trying to book I was looking at my calendar to see if I had my son that week or if he was at his mom's when I realized the phone had gone quiet, I asked her to repeat what she had just said explaining what I'd been doing.  She said J wanted to have a soccer party but only if I agreed to go and act like a coach/referee. She said he came home from my sons party really impressed with how much fun everyone had and told her it was due to coach being there lol

I told her I'd be more than happy to help out as the group of young men who play soccer around my son and J are a pretty good mix of skills but all are good young men, She told me she'd call me with the date and was very thankful I agreed as she knew J would have been bummed out if I was too busy.

When I got home I mentioned this to my son and he laughed and told me J had asked him already if it would be cool with him if J asked me to do the same for his party. My son joked and told me I might have a new career opportunity.

I'm a total alpha personality when it comes to coaching and have to work really hard to crank it down a bit in terms of my intensity. I've worried for years about it and to get such a call means the world to me as it reminds me I'm actually pretty good at this coaching thing and if a player has timid and shy as J is asking for me than maybe I'm not as over the top as I worry.

The party has been delayed as J sprained his ankle but whether it's my Saturday with my son or my free weekend I'll be there doing that coaching thing I do........

Congratulations C

Tuesday, June 23/2015


Today is a very special day.  It is the day that C has been working for her entire career and will mark the culmination of all her efforts.

Today at 10am I will pause what I am doing and think of her and the ceremony that is taking place. I will picture her smile, the smiles of her boys, and her parents. I will see the twinkle in her eyes that always made me feel warm inside.

C has had to make tough choices throughout her life and career. Today's undertaking is no different as I know the cost it is placing on her and I respect her all the more for making it. My hope is that it really is all she hopes it will be and give her a sense of purpose as she wrestles with the things she has had to give up or postpone to achieve it.

It is a very big deal and I have the engraved invitation to show for it. It hangs on my fridge as a reminder that there are events in life that transcend the ordinary and make one think about someone other than themselves.

I debated making the journey to view the proceedings from the rear but decided not to out of worry that she might catch a glance of me as I smile in pride as she made her way across the podium, not wanting to take anything away from her moment I have chosen to honour her from afar.

C you are an amazing woman who brought sunshine into my life, showed me what it felt like to love and be loved, and made me feel so alive. You made me realize that I am a good person and have a lot to offer someone. I hope you know that you are more than that in every way and I earnestly hope that you find love as thinking of you alone makes me sad.

Maybe I wasn't the one for you but there is one out there and I know he'll cross your path. Be bold, be brave, be open to him and reach for the golden ring of love.

C I wish you nothing but the best and want you to succeed in all you do. I am proud of the woman I had the chance to spend time with and will always hold you close to my heart.

Today is your day and I hope you realize that all the people wishing you well are truly in your corner and wanting you to be all that you can be.

All the best my friend and remember to kick ass and  take names!!!!!