My Social Experiment

October 21/14

Zero Orchestra by Matthew Good

So last Saturday was my bachelor weekend and how did I spend it?  Watched my son's first ever indoor winter soccer game, they lost 4-1 but he held his own against some of the older players with more experience, and than had lunch with my daughter and her boyfriend at Central Bierhaus.

I got there before them and while I was looking over the menu I glanced around the room and it dawned on me that the place was pretty busy with lots of conversations between the guests, wait staff, and each other. But what really caught my eye was the number of people who were texting someone while they were sitting with someone else. Least I hope they were texting someone else as how sad would it be if they were texting the person right there in front of them.....

I put the menu down and actually took a count and of the 93 people in my view, both guests and staff, over half were on a smart phone or tablet, by my count 45 at one point.

Are we so desensitized to direct communications that we no longer talk face to face or even on the phone? The last one baffles me the most as I know both of my kids text far more than they talk on the phone whereas when I was my son's age I was on the phone so much my parents had to get me my own line else they'd never have gotten a call lol

But when I think about it now most times I'm talking with someone who isn't in my presence it is usually via text and sometimes that is a bad thing...we readily exchange all kinds of messages before even getting the chance to meet face to face that it sort of takes the surprise out of the actual meeting.

I know this has happened to me on at least one occasion and it made me feel bad, like there was nothing more to discover about the other person, but I didn't really know what to do about it. Since that incident I've tried to limit how much texting I'll do with someone before we meet as I love nothing more than to watch her face as she shares her story with me, there is so much to learn about  a person just by seeing what animates them as they talk with you.

So here is my social experiment for the readers....next time you are out at a public place look around and observe just how many people are on some form of electronic device versus actually communicating with the people they are with.......I'm willing to bet that your observation just might shock you..........

It is a rainy and chilly Tuesday out there so stay warm, drive safe, and remember to tell those close to you that you love them......

I confess....I'm selfish!

October 16/14

Last night I was doing some work in my home office while my son did his homework and as is the norm with me I also took the time to look at my Facebook (FB) account and checked some emails related to the winter women's team I coach for my daughter.  I actually do multitask quite well when I put my mind to it - doesn't happen often but sometimes miracles happen.

So last night on FB I came across an update from Live 88.5, the alternate station in my neck of the woods, with a link to the nights new spin preview that was from an all girl band out of Los Angeles called "Haim" and after clicking the link have to say I was pretty impressed and proceeded to download the entire album from iTunes - Yes, I do things legit when it comes to music, movies, and books online :)

So I've literally been playing the heck out of the album all day while I do my thing and have to admit one song in particular strikes a chord deep within me....

"Don't Save Me"........

Never thought that I would grow so old of seeing the gold
Still I never want it to go
I would hold it up to my cold heart
Feel the way it used to start up

 

Take me back, ta-ta-take me back to the way that I was before
Hungry for what was to come
Now I'm longing for the way I was

 

You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will! Ah oh!

 

Take me back
Give it up, give it up to me
Cause I cant go on if your love isn't strong
See I want it all
Give me, give me all your love
But if you can't hold on

 

Then baby, baby don't save me now, no
If your love isn't strong
Baby! Don't save me now, no, no

 

All my life I wasn't trying to get on a high way
I was wondering which way to go
Spending all of my damn time
Leaving all the weight behind yeah
Take me back, ta-ta-take me back to the song, how'd it used to go? Oh?
Screaming for what was to come,
Now I'm dreaming 'bout the way I was

 

You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will! Ah, oh!

 

Take me back
Give it, up give it up to me
Cause I cant go on if your love isn't strong
See I want it all
Give me, give me all your love
But if you can't hold on,

 

Then baby, baby don't save me now, no
Baby don't save me now, no, no

And if I had to beg for your love
Tell me, tell me
Would it ever be enough?
Te-te-tell me
And if I had to beg for your love
Tell me, tell me
Would it ever be enough?

 

So baby, don't save me
No Baby, don't save me
Baby, don't save me now, no, no
Baby, don't save me now, no, no
Baby, don't save me now no, no
Baby, don't save me now no, no, no
Don't save me
Don't save me

For me the kicker starts with the 4th verse as it really reflects where I am at in my search for love...

It made realize that I am fully committed to finding love and can't accept anything less than the same in return.....if you can't love me enough to hold on than don't try and save me......

I've had friends tell I'm too picky when it comes to dating but my response is why should I ever settle for less than I deserve and am willing to work for??

When did it become acceptable to just settle for the sake of having a warm body next to you at night?

I like to think I respect myself far too much to ever settle. What kind of example would I be setting for my children if I let them think that settling for the sake of having a girlfriend is the way to approach a relationship.

No, I think I'll continue to be selfish and hold out for the real thing. Maybe it means a few lonely nights, maybe more than a few, but the ability to look myself in the mirror and respect the person I see looking back means far too much to me than just having someone around to keep me entertained.

I want the whole shebang.......butterflies, my last first kiss, a glance across the room that says more than words could ever communicate............