A most bitter sweet day......

Monday, September 28/15

So a few weeks ago I received a letter from the law firm where my ex's friend works advising me that our divorce papers had been filed and would be official as of September 11th.

It has been an eight process to get things finalized and not because we were fighting over anything but more because neither of us really cared about the paper as we both knew we were done as a couple but would always be linked to one another through our children and the friendship we each felt towards the other.

I know as some people read that last line they'll call bullshit and not believe me but I really don't care one way or the other what anyone else has to say about the relationship I have with my ex, and have one I do for the exact reasons above, kids and friendship.

I've never understood adults who rage against their ex's and use every profanity under the sun whenever the opportunity presents itself. I am the person I am today partially because of the time I spent with her and she is who she is partially because of me. We have two wonderful kids and a common circle of friends. For those reasons alone I can't fathom any reason to feel any anger or hurt for something that broke down between us.....key word here is us.....we failed one another and were smart enough to know what happened and will take steps to make sure it never happens again.

So why the papers after eight years?

It is pretty simple - peace of mind for myself, any future partner I may have, and my ex.

It came to my attention that even though we were legally separated for over five years we each could have had some legal claim on assets and pensions should something have happened to the other.

So this final act completely severs those potential claims, though I was pretty sure the way my will is written it left no doubt where I want things going - my kids equally.

It also lets any potential partners I may have know that I have taken the steps to unhinge myself from past relationships. Now this one is a bit more tenuous and a reach but I was told by more than one woman I dated over the years that women view men who aren't divorced with some doubt, that they don't feel the commitment to move onto another relationship is present, as if they are still holding onto the old one in hopes of resurrecting it.

Men don't view things like that, at least in my humble opinion. We ask ourselves if the woman in question likes us and if the answer is in the affirmative we move forward and if not we move on. We are simple that way, rarely do we over think things and read more in it than there really is.

So what made this a bitter sweet day?

I failed at something and will now have an annual reminder of that, not something the alpha in me really strives for or appreciates. I let her down by not being the man I could have been and promised to be when we exchanged vows.

Can I make it up to her? No, nor would I try to as we've both moved on to bigger and better things in our lives. She has a great guy who makes her smile and that makes me smile, I have been seeing C for the past few months after our little hiccup back in May when she sort of went off the rails with the million and one things she was trying to do on her own.

Will I ever remarry?

I don't know. Part of me thinks it's just a piece of paper but I know some people take great comfort in such things so I'm going to say that only time will tell. I do know that no paper will ever dictate my feelings for someone, good or bad as they might be lol

M

Labour Day Weekend

Friday, September 4/2015

Heading into the official end of summer weekend and wanted to take a moment to wish everyone a fun and safe weekend.

There will be new posts coming next week - spent the last two weeks hanging with my son after his return from holiday's in Europe hearing how much he enjoyed himself.

I'll be golfing all weekend up the valley, visiting with C and her boy's, and trying to get some pictures of the valley in splendid colours. If I can figure out how to include them in these posts I'll do so moving forward. No, that does not mean any pictures of me or the people in my life, that remains private, sorry.

Remember, stay safe and make good choices.

See you next week :)

M