Feb 19th - WTH was going on?

 Saturday, February 22, 2025

So I just published my first entry in what feels like forever but was actually just a little over eight months ago - The Bear and decided to check out the blog stats and have to say I was shocked to see there were 533 views on February 19th.

I don't know of anything special that happened that day and am literally scratching my head trying to figure out what triggered this massive spike in views.

Was it one person reading the entirety of my library or was it multiple people reading random entries?

Not sure I'll ever know but it did make me pause and take notice so thank you, just what I needed on a rather cold Saturday in Ottawa.

Marcus

The Bear

 Saturday, February 22, 2025

Guess you'd say that is an odd blog title to make my return with right? Let it never be said that I follow any rules or conventions when it comes to this little social experiment I call my blog.

So what is the significance of the title? Am I trying to establish my alpha personality and let the world know I stand alone in my fierce determination to succeed in life?

Well, the answer is no to both those questions and any others you might have come up with.

The Bear is nothing more than a show on Disney+ that caught my attention and made me pause to reflect on life, well my life at least. How did it catch my attention you might wonder, the plain and simple answer is I came across some TikToks about some episodes that made me pause and want to see what the show was about.

Now a normal person would more than likely start their research at say the first episode of the series but let it be said that normal and I do not necessarily go hand in hand. No, I started with Season 3 Episode 1 and have to admit that there was no way I could stop watching the episode from start to finish, partially because there was this haunting background music that played over the entirety of the episode and partially because there was no real dialogue between the characters, rather a series of scenes that left one wondering what thoughts were running through the main protagonists mind as you watched him in these scenes. Probably not the best way to understand the episode but one that left me feeling like something just clicked, made me feel almost complete once again, and left me wondering if that was what our lives are really like, a series of randomly connected scenes that bind things together.

For those wondering, I highly recommend watching that episode, if for no other reason than how that instrumental might resonate with you, Together by Nine Inch Nails. Definitely not something I would have ever attributed to them and just proof positive that music shall always have the ability to move us in the least expected ways from the least expected artists.

I did watch another episode, again one referenced in a TikTok video, and once again found my attention locked for its entirety, not something that I can say happens all that often these days. Season 2 Episode 7 "Forks". Spoiler alert, Richie's character really does develop over the course and makes me hope that someday I might experience the same growth in my own views.

I've written in the past that words move me, whether written or spoken and that still holds true to this day. I'd rather spend my free time golfing and watching my grandkids than anything else but when I can't do either of those you will more than likely find me on the couch or the chair in my home office with Miko curled up in my lap with a book in hand and music playing either through Alexa or on a speaker pushed from my iPhone.

As I write this I've got Fink "Looking Too Closely" playing on YouTube, take a listen and let me know how it resonates with you as it feels like something I might hear on an episode of The  Bear.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoWRs7lXtYE

Am I back for good? I really don't know and refuse to make any promises, though the words and thoughts do seem to want an escape lately......

Marcus

Hello Again

 Tuesday, June 11th 2024

Wow, it's been almost 18 months since my last entry to this little experiment I like to call my blog.

As you can imagine there has been a lot happening to me over that time, and no that does not mean I've found my one.

I really haven't been looking all that hard for my one, kind of reached the end of that road in that search for the most part.

Still working, pursuing my golf objectives, and spending time with my kids and grandkids as much as possible given the different schedules.

I've been dealing with some lowkey depression the last few months, nothing overly serious but it has led me to shut down the whole dating game, well it's more like the game has shut me down if the truth be told lol

I was driving through Bells Corners tonight on my way home from Ikea when I started thinking about the blog and thought maybe I should drop by and let everyone know I'm still alive and kicking, if you are interested in those kinds of things.

I guess you can call this a drive-by posting, short and not too insightful, and maybe the start of some more effort on my part to bring this back to life.

Marcus

Oh, almost forgot...I recommend giving a listen to "The Piper's Call" by David Gilmour, yes that guy from Pink Floyd :-)

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays

 Saturday, December 24th, 2022

I know it has been quite some time since my last post, Canada Day to be exact, and I really have no good reason for ghosting the blog other than I just haven't been feeling it this year.

Maybe 2023 will be better but I'm not promising anything at this point so don't hold me to any major expectations, if we both agree to that little stipulation then I'm sure we'll all walk out of here alive lol

Now enough of the ramblings.....I really only came here to wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas and the Happiest of Holidays.

It is my sincere wish that you get to spend time with family, loved ones, and friends over the next few days, recharging those emotional batteries, and head into the new year ready to face anything that comes our way.

I'll be spending tonight watching my two favourite Christmas movies - Love Actually and Die Hard.

Yes, I do consider Die Hard a Christmas movie, and nothing you or anyone else, including Bruce Willis, can say that will ever make me think that movie isn't a Christmas movie so save your breath and efforts.

Tomorrow will be a drive down to my daughter's place for dinner and gifts with the entire family.

I'm really looking forward to watching my grandkids as literally, nothing makes me happier than spending time with them, whether it is in a group setting or babysitting them solo.

Anyways, I'm off to start my Christmas Eve activities and hope to reconnect with everyone in the new year.

Marcus

Oh, since I actually do a TikTok account for my attempts at golf I thought I'd give you a peek at the man behind the words.......

Happy Canada Day Eh!

 Friday, July 1st, 2022

Today's blog entry is sweet, short, and simple......

H A P P Y  C A N A D A  D A Y ! ! ! !

I'm spending the day with family and hope everyone celebrating has a wonderful time.

Marcus

Happy Father's Day!

Sunday, June 19/22 @ 9:52 am

So I'd like to take this moment to wish all the dad's out there a very Happy Father's Day.

This goes to the single dads doing it all, those lucky enough to have someone to help them on the parenthood journey, those dads who are part of a two-dad family, and the moms who have to be the dad in a one-parent household.

Being a parent is probably the toughest thing we'll ever do and one they don't make you take a test to prove you are capable of taking on such awesome responsibilities. Heck it would have been nice if we got an instruction booklet or users manual lol

My journey to fatherhood got a late start but man has it been an incredible experience so far, one I wouldn't have missed for anything in this world or the next!

I was fortunate enough to meet an amazing woman who let me into her life as well as her five-year-old daughters, they showed me what it meant to love someone unconditionally, that I could be a daddy without having shared my DNA with such a wonderful little girl.

Anyone can be a father as all it takes is about 2-3 minutes and some sperm but being a dad is a whole nother ball game, one that will test your patience, have you up late into the night worrying when your child isn't feeling well, see you standing on the sidelines or stands cheering as your child plays soccer, hockey, skates, or plays any number of sports. You'll get to take field trips and see new things around your city and probably attend more than a few parent-teacher conferences.

Being a parent, I use that term instead of just saying dad as I think it is more encompassing, means getting to snuggle while reading a book, watch the same movie over and over and over (Speed comes to mind with my daughter lol), apply antiseptic and bandaids to wounds, and tucking them in at the end of the day.

Being a parent means not only listening to what they have to say but hearing what they are trying to say without even knowing they are doing so. It means being able to hear words you might not like without letting the anger or pain reflect in your eyes or words.

Being a parent means putting someone else besides yourself first, maybe for the first time in your life, and doing it every single day for the rest of your days.

Being a parent doesn't end when they turn eighteen and leave home for university, for military service, or just to spread their wings and become independent.

Being a parent is a lifetime commitment best made not lightly or without conviction.

It will be the absolute hardest thing you'll ever do and the one that will have your heart melt with four simple words.......

I love you daddy

Today I'll celebrate Father's Day at my daughter's place with brunch where her brother and his partner and son will join us, this is my son's first Father's Day in his own right and I can't wait to see him and my grandson interact with one another.

I am a father to two amazing adults and thank my stars every single day that they help shape me into the man I am and will continue to do so until my last breathe.

Happy Father's Day!

My name is Marcus and these are my thoughts and observations on the things going on all around me, they might include being a father, friend, co-worker, dealing with my puppy Miko, trying to get my golf game under control, and just maybe dating and getting to share my last first kiss if the stars align.

Today's musical suggestion is "To Believe" by The Cinematic Orchestra

I can be reached at ooasm2018@gmail.com for any reason :-)

Milestones

 Friday, June 17/22

Wednesday saw another family milestone accomplished and it got me to wonder how other people measure important milestones in life.

I think we probably all have some of the same milestones that we measure against and hope to see achieved over the course of our lives.

Some are pretty obvious like turning 16 and being able to drive, turning 18 and getting to vote, turning 19 and being able to legally drink in Ontario, turning 25, and then hitting the decade numbers as we try and age gracefully, or as much as we can lol

I hit the turning 60 milestones in a few months and it constantly amazes me that I am actually that old. I know it is a cliche to say one doesn't feel as old as one really is but that is really how I feel most days, well with the exception of day four of four straight days golfing as then I feel my age and then some :-)

Other milestones probably include the first day of school, graduating grade school, starting and graduating high school, and the same for university. Getting married and having kids probably ranks pretty high up there I'd imagine. Buying your first car or home is a pretty big deal for a lot of us.

So what big milestone did I see on Wednesday?

My son walked across the stage at Carleton University and received his Bachelor of Arts degree in a Covid delayed convocation ceremony.

He is the third member of our immediate family to earn a university degree, the second member on his mom's side of the family, and I believe the fourth on my side of the family. I say I believe on my side as I have no clue if any of my cousins' children went to university.

Now here is the shocker about the whole thing, I didn't even cry, which for those of you who know me says a lot. Now don't get me wrong and think I wasn't feeling emotionally charged by the event as I really was, but the truth is that I had my moment of tears as I sat there waiting before the ceremony got started, thinking back on all my son has overcome, the hours spent studying and working on papers and projects, the all-nighters he pulled, and sometimes the tears and frustration when he had some self-doubts, something we can all relate to I'm sure. But the one thing he did was persevere and meet his goals head-on.

I'm proud of my son for a lot of things and really do think I've been blessed with amazing children who have never done anything but make me smile. Now I'm getting the same vibes from the small tribe of grandchildren they are giving the family.

So what is the next milestone I see on the horizon? Well besides the aforementioned birthday for yours truly it will be my grandaughter starting school, followed by my son's own son doing the same, my oldest grandson graduating to middle/high school, and so on and so on for the three of them.

I guess somewhere in there will be me retiring but let's not rush that one just quite yet folks as I'm still enjoying my career.

So what milestones do you and your family celebrate?

My name is Marcus and these are but some of the things I ponder on a daily basis as I try and be the best version of myself that I can, some days I win and some days I don't, but I honestly believe it all balances out in the end.

Today's musical suggestion is "One Step Ahead" by Jack Johnson

Questions, comments, and complaints can all be sent to me at ooasm2018@gmail.com and I promise a response back :-)

What's On Your Fridge?

 Sunday, June 12/22

Yes, you read the blog entry title correctly, not what's in your fridge but rather what's on your fridge.

Now I'm sure you're sitting there asking yourself what triggered me to ask this specific question and it's really pretty simple as  I was sitting on my couch earlier and happened to look over at the fridge and was kind of surprised at the history the exterior of my fridge would tell anyone who takes but a moment to really look hard at it.

My place is sort of an open concept and it was one of the biggest selling points when I made my decision to make an offer. You can stand in the kitchen and with a glance to your left see the combined living room and dining room, conversely, I can sit on the couch and watch TV, read, listen to music, and look into the kitchen without much movement on my part.

As I mentioned, I was sitting on the couch and happened to glance over at the fridge and it dawned on me how much of my life was on display, my past, my present, and my future in plain sight for all to see. I can see reminders of positive events from my life as well as those that might be a little bit bittersweet depending on my mood at the time.

My past is represented by pictures of my kids as they were growing up, marking special moments in each of their lives, and pictures of my grandkids when each was under a year old. Moments that have come and gone but still make me smile when I look at them when opening or closing the fridge or just walking by on my way in or out of the kitchen. I've also got some artwork and school work done by my oldest grandson that acts as a past and present reminder as one is older than the other.

The funniest thing is that I've got a picture of my son when he is about 6 months and one of both my grandsons, his nephew, and his own son, and I'm constantly amazed at the traits all three share with one another.

My presence and future are both encompassed on the calendar I keep on the fridge that shows me what is on my agenda for the day as well as future plans. Thinks like golf tee times with friends, doctor or dental appointments, sporting events or other activities for my grandkids, appointments that I've agreed to take the grandkids to in order to help out my daughter or son, and future holidays I've booked off from work.

What about the months that are now in the past, what happens to those sheets from the calendar you might ask?  I keep those as they help me record recurring events when I create my new calendar in December.

So what else is on my fridge, what else makes me smile or maybe feel a bit sad when I see them?

I've got souvenir magnets from my kids from some of the places they visited when on vacations with their mom over the years. Two that make me smile include one from my son from a trip to Jamaica and the other is one from Venice brought back by my daughter.

Bittersweet would be the bottle opener I brought back from my vacation in Jamaica with Corinne as well as the magnets she gave me from her organization that is a daily reminder that there are those people who man the walls to ensure our freedom and safety. They are bittersweet in that they remind me of someone special who made a difference in my life when I probably needed it the most.

Some might say I should take those down to avoid being reminded of those memories since they won't be repeated but I disagree as that would sully the memory and feelings I have for her. Yes, I wrote in the present tense and not the past tense as I still have feelings for her. That doesn't mean anything would happen between us should we bump into one another but it also doesn't preclude anything happening either.

I'm one of those people who think what is on your fridge says more about you than what is in your fridge :)

So tell me, what's on your fridge and what story do you think it tells about you?

My name is Marcus and it has been hit or miss with the blog over the last year or so but I think I've turned the corner on things in my life and will be posting more entries moving forward. Hope you come back and see what other thoughts or observations I come up with over the next few weeks.

Tonight's musical suggestion is an instrumental piece by a German group named Meute called "Slow Loris". Give it a listen and let me know what you think.

Questions, comments, and complaints can all be emailed to me at ooasm2018@gmail.com

Happy Mother's Day

 Sunday, May 8th, 2022

I would like to wish every one of you acting in the role of a mother the very happiest of Mother's Day

Mom's come in all ages, shapes, sizes, and genders :-)

My daughter is mom to two of her own beautiful children, my future daughter-in-law is celebrating her first Mother's Day with my amazing grandson Maximino, and my ex-wife has always been a wonderful example of what one hopes that they get as a mom.

I haven't been posting much if at all lately but did want to take the time to express these wishes.

The past two years have been pretty trying for a lot of people and I honestly think that family has been the glue that has held things together in dealing with what life has thrown us.

I hope today brings nothing but smiles, laughter, hugs, and lots of love.

Marcus

FUCK PUTIN & RUSSIA

 Sunday, March 06/22

Pretty sure the blog title says it all from my perspective.

I hope the west gets off its collective ass and actually does something more than send $ and equipment, maybe live up to the words they said to Ukraine about standing with them in these trying times.

Yes, that reaction could lead to a broadening of the conflict but that is far better than seeing orphans standing at a train station waiting to be sent to the border with Poland and hopefully resettlement.

It's comical how Adolf Putin says the economic sanctions are illegal but he can declare a special military operation to remove the standing government of a sovereign nation and that is well within his legal rights.

If I'm living in Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, and Taiwan, I've got to say I'm probably more than a little concerned about what happens next when Russia and China digest the lack of a military response to such aggression and make a move to bring my country back into the fold of Mother Russia or China.

Never thought I'd be living in a remake of the 1930s and the rise of Fascism but here we are watching the whole Sudetenland and Poland come to life all over again.

My heart bleeds for Ukraine and its people......

Marcus

Happy New Years

 Friday, December 31/21

So here we are at the turning of another year, exchanging the old for the new, raising our glasses in a toast to better things to come.

The last two years have been a strain for so many people, whether it be money problems or emotional issues related to the Covid-19 pandemic. I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing to see this year come to an end and holding out hope that we turn the corner in 2022.

I've got nothing planned other than to maybe watch a movie or quietly read and raise a glass of whiskey to the world around me as the clock strike midnight. One absolute truth will be that regardless of what I'm doing Miko will be either curled up in my lap or snuggled up next to me.

I wish each and every one of you a very Happy New Year and hope the next year brings us peace, health, prosperity, and happiness.

In 2022 I'm hoping to end my bachelorhood, maybe break 90 more than half the rounds I play, enjoy many more smiles and laughs with Miko, and bask in the love that is my grandchildren as each of them grow and develop into amazing kids.

What are your wishes for the new year?

My name is Marcus and these are my observations on dating, golfing, raising a puppy, working from home, and being the best father and friend possible.

Questions or comments can be sent to me at ooasm2018@gmail.com and I promise to respond to each message.

Today's musical suggestion is "In The Air Tonight" by Phil Collins

Merry Christmas & Happy Holiday's

 Friday, December 24/21

I would like to take this moment to wish each of you reading this blog entry a very Merry Christmas and the Happiest of Holidays!

Christmas brings me both joy and sadness as it allows me to spend time watching my ever-expanding family come together under one roof, with all the verbal and visual madness you can imagine that brings and reminds me of yet another year without my mom as she would have been celebrating her 84th birthday tomorrow.

My plans for Christmas Eve are pretty low keyed as I'm just back from taking Miko for her last walk of the night and will be heading down to the family room to light up the tree and snuggle up on the couch as I watch one of my favourite movies - Love Actually.

I know there are a lot of debates around what makes a movie a Christmas movie but in my humble opinion, Love Actually is absolutely a Christmas movie given it is set in the weeks and days leading up to Christmas.

Just as Die Hard is a Christmas movie as there would be no reason for John to be visiting Holly and the Nakatoni Building if it wasn't for Christmas.

It's kind of funny how 3 of my 5 favourite Christmas movies are sort of violent: Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, and Home Alone.

What is the fifth Christmas movie you ask? "Miracle on 34th Street" of course (either version).

Here is a confession that might catch you by surprise given how much I enjoy movies but I've yet to ever see "It's a Wonderful Life".  Shocking I know and I don't really have any plans to remedy that any time soon.

I'm off for the next five days and hope to get some things tidied up around the house and maybe work on a year in review blog entry for New Year's Eve, we'll see that happens between now and the 31st.

I'll end this entry by sending my heartfelt wishes that we are all able to spend time with family and friends, that we rejoice in the little things life offers us, and we remember to be nice to those we come across as this time of year can be hard for some people, this guy included but I've been working on seeing the good in people and situations.

Marcus

Today's musical suggestion seems rather fitting to be "Carol of the Bells". I've included a link to the YouTube video of this song performed by The Bands of HM Royal Marines.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR0KhfUGQGQ

As always, I can be reached at ooasm2018@gmail.com and respond to all messages.

Silence

 Sunday, October 03/21

Silence........

Oxford Languages defines silence as the complete absence of sound (noun) or the prohibition or prevention of someone speaking.

Both are pretty good on their own and I'm not smart enough to come up with a better definition myself so let's go with these for now.

But while I agree these are good I'm also in disagreement as I'm sure we've all had those moments where the silence around us is actually quite deafening in its loudness.

Stop and think about that for a moment and I'm confident each of us can remember a time or two when that statement is perfectly true.

I know of one such moment and I hope I never have to relive it again in my life as the silence I experienced as I sat in a hospital chapel and prayed for hours was so loud that my entire body trembled from it.

I don't mind the silence, think that sort of goes hand in hand with being a self-observed introvert, and can actually take it or leave it. I love to play music in the background when I'm home reading or even working during the day in my home office, but I can just as easily sit in silence to read or work, guess it depends on the mood.

This morning has been a silent one so far, having risen early to take Miko for a walk before the forecasted rain started and getting some stew going in the slow cooker as my son and his girlfriend and baby Max are coming for dinner later this afternoon.

I was sitting on the couch reading one of the many romance books on my tablet, don't judge me for this activity as I judge myself enough for it, when Miko crawled across my lap to half sit on me and half sit on the armrest of the couch and proceeded to go to sleep. I didn't really think anything of it for a few moments until I heard her softly breathing and knew she was deep into her 4th of 5th nap of the day and it dawned on me that Miko made the silence easier to bear, that she has made a lot of things easier to bear these past few months.

My life has seen a series of changes the past few years and I wasn't really prepared for them and that has resulted in me taking some steps back from things and sort of just allowing the silence to wrap me up in a cocoon, but I think that period is over and I can sort of see the old me coming back into focus.

I've still got some decisions to make but I'm feeling more assured that whatever final resolutions I come to will be what is right for me.

Sometimes all it takes is the gentle snore of a puppy to break the silence and put a smile on your face.

My name is Marcus and these blog postings are my little attempt to share bits of what it's like to be a middle-aged male still hopeful of finding friendship and possibly even love in an ever-changing world.

So this tune was playing yesterday on my home from going to Costco with my daughter and it made me wistful to receive one again........"Call Me In The Afternoon" by Half Moon Run

Got a thought you'd like to share? Maybe a question? Have an issue with something I've said in one of the blog entries? Well let me know at ooasm2018@gmail.com and maybe we can have a chat about it.