Sunday, February 23/14
What an amazing morning I've had. Woke early to take Moki for a walk, came home and made some toast, and ensconced myself on the couch to watch Team Canada take our second gold in hockey with a resounding 3-0 win over Sweden!!
I've been thinking about dating a lot lately, mostly because I was seeing someone from the mid point of January until just this last week when I made the decision that the end result I was hoping to see just wasn't going to happen and it was better to end things now than several months down the road.
Nothing major came up that led me to this decision but more a series of comments or requests that made me realize that the commitment on both sides wasn't really equal.
It also led me to the conclusion that the hardest journey two people will ever make is meeting halfway so that each persons needs are met and mutual happiness achieved.
I am a west end guy and make no bones about it. I bought my place in 2011 for the very specific reason that is was located within the boundaries of the high school my son was starting that fall and thus made it possible for him to bus to my place after school versus me having to pick him up at his moms every day once I was done with work. His going to his moms wasn't an issue for her or me but it just makes me feel better knowing he can get to my place, and a small piece of me thinks it reaffirms for him that my place is as much his home as his moms house is.
The person I was seeing lives downtown and has no children. I was pretty open about my not being open to moving and she seemed to accept that position, least until last week when she started mentioning how her building has 3 bedroom units and maybe we could go and look at one to check out the room sizes. Me being the dense guy I am didn't hear the underlying message she was sending and couldn't understand why she was so surprised when I asked her why she needed such a large place. She was very matter of fact when she told me she wasn't moving from downtown and she couldn't see why I was so locked into living in the west end when buses ran just fine both ways. Her implication was that my son could bus from downtown to school in the morning and back again in the afternoon.
The real kicker here was that we hadn't reached the stage where I was thinking it might be time for her to even meet my kids and here she was trying to get things changed that would have a huge impact on one of them.
As I was trying to explain to her how this wasn't really an option she dropped the other bombshell that if her contract wasn't renewed in August she was thinking of either moving back to Toronto or taking time to do a volunteer mission to Africa. That was pretty much the icing on the cake and I explained how I didn't think things would work for us given our differences on where we should reside in Ottawa let alone on the same continent.
On Thursday I told her I wasn't interested in pursuing things and she said it was probably for the best as my being inflexible about things was really a turn off for her.....that one made me chuckle as I really have bent over backwards to work around her schedule over the past 6 weeks and didn't complain about the 15+ dates we had to cancel or reschedule at the last moment due to her shift work as I understood how important her job was to herself and her clients.
I really am looking to fall in love and will do everything I can to make it possible but somethings just aren't up for negotiation and moving my son ranks at the top of that list.
Am I unreasonable? Guess that is up for debate depending on your thoughts but I'd like to think that anyone I date would understand how much importance I place on family and having stability for them wherever I am concerned.
Marcus
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