Tears.......unbidden and quite confusing

Thursday, October 06/16

So there is something going on with me and I don't have a fucking clue what it is and I'm starting to wonder if I'm cracking up.

For the last two weeks I've literally been crying at the drop of a feather. Don't believe me than consider these recent episodes.....

I see a family going for a walk in the park and I feel like crying.

I think of my unborn grandson and I cry. OK, this one sort of makes sense

I look at the picture taken of my son and me at the end of this past seasons soccer tournament and I cry

Moki snuggles in my lap while I'm watching TV and looks up at me and I feel like crying

I'm driving back from playing golf and suddenly feel my cheeks moist from tears that I had no clue I was shedding. This one has to have happened at least 3 times over the last month

Now it looks like I'm crying in my sleep as I woke up this morning to find my pillow soaked and blood shot eyes staring back at me in the mirror.

I don't think it's health related, leastways physically, as I had my 6 month check up last week with my doctor and I can't remember seeing her so happy when we went over my recent blood work and blood pressure readings. Of course I didn't mention the free flowing waterworks as I was hoping it would work itself out but that doesn't seem to be the case and I'm guessing a call to book a fresh appointment is on order.

Has this ever happened to you and what did you do to cope with it?

I'm worried it's going to happen when my son is around and get him worrying about me or even worse, telling his sister or mom. Don't want the pregnant daughter worrying about me and don't have any explanation in case the ex asks me what is going on.

Being on good terms with one's ex is a double edged sword. On one hand we co-parent pretty good and on the other hand it also means we care about the other and never want to see them hurt.

Believe or not just writing this entry has be almost balling my eyes out............

My name is Marcus and something is wrong and I can't figure it out and that scares me more than anything right now.