I Can Do Better, So Much Better - Completed

Saturday, July 22/17

10:48 AM EST
So this post is going to be a work in progress and I ask you to be patient as it unfolds over the next day or so.

I really don't mean to tease you with this one but it's really more because I'm still rounding this entry out in my mind before completely posting it.

So for now here is a little homework for you, don't worry as there won't be any grades issued, it's more to just get you thinking.

When you read the blog tag line "I can do better, so much better" what comes to mind?

To be continued.................

Sunday, July 24/17
7:29 PM EST

"I can do better, so much better"

A pretty innocuous message in and of itself, probably one we've all used or heard at some point in our lives, whether as a youngster just flexing our wings of independence, a student at school, an athlete attempting to enhance our skills, or at work after a project has been completed and the post review is being rounded out.

I can remember being in high school and getting a history mid term back that was scored as an 81 but was way below what I was capable of scoring when I made the effort, and as my teacher placed the exam on my desk she sort of looked at me with one eye brow arched as if to ask what the story was behind the mark and I looked at her and said "I can do better" and she smiled and replied "I know you can and will before the term ends".

I can't begin to count the number of times I've completely screwed up a shot in a round of golf that should be like second nature to me and said to myself "C'mon Marcus, you can do better than that"

The saying is not the end of the world and is usually self invoked when we realize the outcome could have, and should, have been better than actually happened.

Sometimes we get the visual cue to proclaim it from someone close to us, parents, siblings, partner, children, boss, or as in my case a teacher.

But it rarely comes to as an unsolicited statement of declaration issued by someone directly to us.

Rarely being the operative word in that last sentence.

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before I am a member of the dating site called eHarmony, the wonderful site that introduced me to C and changed my life.

As hard as this is going to be to believe, I'm a pretty reserved guy, far more introvert than extrovert, and have a very hard time meeting members of the opposite sex. I know that if C or the mother of my children were to read that last sentence they'd both argue vehemently that I'm far from shy or introverted, but the truth is that being around either of them made it easier for me to talk to others out of the blue as I wasn't trying to make that all important first impression on them as I was already with someone pretty darn special to me in my mind.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I become a mute around women it's just there is no ability on my end to use words to get her to see me as any thing other than a potential great guy friend. I find it even hard to start things up on dating websites where it should be the easiest to do given the ability to sit behind a computer screen and not have to see the visual reactions to my attempts.

So Friday I received a message from eHarmony about a new match we'll call Erica and decided to see who this person was and if I thought we might have some common interests, well enough of them to see if I should send a message saying hi, which I never do as I'm just too damn scared of the rejection.

She seemed really nice, cute, educated, and wanted to meet someone with whom she could possibly start a family. That was a deal breaker for me as I'm not looking to have more kids given my age and the fact that I've got three years of university to help pay for and than some RESP funding to do for my grandson.

I logged out and watched some Netflix while doing laundry - maybe these exciting activities on a Friday night are more indicative of my appeal factor to the opposite sex than I actually give them credit for these days.

Around 11 pm I got a notification in my Gmail from eHarmony saying Erica was interested in me and had sent me a message.

I logged back into eHarmony and found a direct message from her, not the usual smile or series of questions that is more common in the initial phases of getting to know someone on eHarmony.

Here is the entire message from Erica:
"Hi, I noticed you took the time to look at my profile and I just wanted to let you know that I can do better, so much better, so please don't waste my time by contacting me"

Pretty bold statement from someone who had her profile looked at. Just looked at and nothing else, no smile sent, no questions from the set available to choose from, nothing more than a look.

My first impression is she is someone who truly displays some serious passive aggressive emotional issues to say the least.

eHarmony has made it pretty simple to close out things with another member if you don't feel like there is any connection. You can hide the profile from further viewing or even block them completely, they can't see you or you them ever again, with the message being sent that you've moved on.

Now if this was me I'd have just blocked the person and continued on with my life, but for some reason Miss Erica felt she needed to let me know that not only was I not interesting to her but that she could do better than choosing me. Now to be fair to her she probably could do better as I'm not father material, least to new babies coming into my life nor am I a big fan of rock climbing, one of her key interests, though we did appear to both enjoy golf, but when I think back to her picture on the course it looked more like one of those photo shoots people get done than an actual round of golf in progress lol.

I've never acted so blunt or rudely to anyone who has looked at my profile, if I return the favour and don't see a connection I just move on, I don't send a message belittling them for making an effort to see what I'm about. I think this is hardest part of dating in this day and age, people don't see anything wrong with being mean to a total stranger or understand the concept that karma can be a royal bitch.

I don't wish Erica any ill will but am pretty confident that somewhere down the road a guy is going to treat her like a piece of shit and she'll understand what it is like to be rejected without ever having made an effort in the first place.

Have you ever had someone reject you before you even made the move to see if they were interested in you and what could happen if you actually communicated a bit?

My name is Marcus and while I loathe the entire dating process I understand it is a necessary evil I'll have to endure if I'm going to create opportunities to meet the one who is imperfectly perfect for me.

I wasn't planning on a musical suggestion for this entry but on the way home from my 4th round of golf played in the last 3 days I heard "Harvest Moon" by Neil Young and decided it would be today's offering.