Wednesday, October 30/19
I'm all about continually pushing myself to learn new things, to stretch my boundaries, to keep looking outwards to see what life has to offer me.
Normally the things I learn are pretty cool and interesting, at least to me that is.
Rarely do I come away thinking it was a bad experience, at the very least I can add it to the trunkful of useless trivia I've stored over the years that make me the best Trivial Pursuit partner one could ever wish for, I kid thee not my friends.
All of that came to a crashing halt yesterday when I logged into my dating profile and found a message from someone.
Seems pretty innocent enough right? You'd be right for thinking that up until I got to the end of the message and was told that though her profile lists her as single, the truth is that she is in a polyamorous relationship and wanted to meet me to see if I'd be interested in pursuing things with her.
Now to be fair, and I do try to be fair as often as possible, I knew I wasn't really too interested in meeting as she had far too many pictures of her cat and all of the pictures of herself were with sunglasses, a huge red flag for me as I know I've stated in previous posts that I think eyes are one of the first things I notice about a person, especially a woman.
Now I'd never heard this phrase polyamorous used before and she didn't provide any context of what it meant, assuming I guess that I knew what it was all about, which I didn't, until now.
Here is one definition of what it means.....
First off, it's an adjective (makes sense to me so far)
"Characterized by or involved in the practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved. Intimacy and trust are essential to a successful polyamorous relationship"
My first thought? What the Fuck!
Now I may be in my mid-fifties, but I'd like to think I'm pretty damn open-minded about things and have seen a lot of changes in my life all these long years.
My take is that this is just an easy way to make one feel good about basically cheating on your partner, and I don't give a damn if it's done with their knowledge and permission, when you take a vow that vow should mean something, it is not to be put aside by mutual consent so one of you can get a taste of something, really someone, new.
Back in the day, a phrase I never thought I'd be using but here it is, this was called something entirely different......swinging
If I had to venture why there's been an evolution in the name it's probably because swinging implied a couple were there at the same time doing it together, whereas, with a polyamorous relationship, each partner seeks out someone on his or her own, just letting the other partner know what is going on, bringing everything into the light and not hiding anything. I guess this alleviates any need to feel guilty for doing the deed, also known as the beast with two backs, with someone who is not legally your partner.
Maybe it helps those who get bored easily and aren't willing to see the potential of just one partner.
I'm sure this is good for those people but I know it's certainly not my cup of tea, I'm all about the one on one and think open communications are all that is needed to keep a relationship fresh, vibrant and fulfilling.
Of course, you could ask what do I know, I've been single since late 2015 when I managed to crash and burn with Corinna. I know this, though we were in a medium distance relationship, not one moment did I ever think of being anything other than true to her, not because I feared the consequences but because that was what she deserved, that was what I deserved, and I could never hurt someone like that, I'd sooner walk away than cheat on my partner.
So you'd be on safe ground to think this guy will never be part of anything other than a true one on one relationship. I'll stay single till my last breath before I'll break that vow.
Actions have meaning and words mean something when said from the heart. I've only told three women I love them in my life, well three in a romantic manner. Maybe that number increases by one should things work out for me going forward but if it doesn't, I'll be okay as the three that did hear it meant something to me, something deep and meaningful for different periods of my life.
My name is Marcus and I think it's high time I start writing entries to my blog.
These are my continuing adventures in trying to be a good father, grandfather, friend, coworker, mastering the perfect 8 iron from 130 yards, and fan of the Oxford comma. Did you see what I just did there? lol
Comments, questions, and critiques are always welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Tonight's musical suggestion is "Champion" by Bishop Briggs
No comments:
Post a Comment