The Text Question that has me Sweating a Bit II

Monday, August 17/15

Today's song is "Faith" by George Michael.


So back in July my son sent me a text saying he had a question for me and when I prompted him to ask me he replied it had to be done in person. Of course this had me sweating bullets as being a teenager in his first serious relationship you can only imagine where my mind went right off the bat.

Well Friday before last just before leaving for two weeks in Europe with his mom and sister he asked me the question and it wasn't what I was expecting.

We were home getting his soccer kit ready as he was playing up for the L4 team in a tournament on Saturday when he looked over at me and said "Dad, remember the text I sent about having a question?, well I'm ready to ask it now"............

I paused from folding extra soccer socks and told him to go ahead as long he remembers the rules of asking questions, he laughed and told me he did and was ready for any answer I gave, even f it was uncomfortable to hear.

I motioned to go ahead and he looked at me and simply asked "How do you know when you are in love?"

A simple question that has probably been asked thousands of times across eons of time, but not so simple to answer.

Now since he has been dating the same girl since last October this did make me stop and look at him as I asked "Are you being serious? You've been seeing T for almost 9 months and now you are asking how you know if you're in love?"

He smiled at me and said "No, I know I love her, but I don't remember when it happened and I'm trying to figure out how I knew"

I sat down and thought about it and this is what I told him.........

Trying to determine the exact moment you fall in love with someone is akin to trying to describe the wind with nothing more than words. He looked confused by my answer so I took pity on him and walked him through it by asking him to tell me about the wind as if I was a new person to earth, asking him if this wind had any colours, if it was hard or soft, hot or cold, clear or obscured. He made a scoffing sound at these points so I took the lesson on step further.

I walked him outside and looked up at the trees in my backyard swaying in the late afternoon breeze and asked him to describe what he saw. He said the branches were moving due to the wind blowing, I asked him how that was possible if this wind had no form? It wasn't hard or soft, he argued the leaves were blowing gently and not like the other night when we had a storm and branches were snapped off in the fury of harsh winds. So I said the wind can be soft or hard can it?

I asked him when he first noticed the breeze and he said when he heard the leaves, but I said the breeze was already there and only the sound of leaves made him aware of it. He started to argue with me and suddenly stopped as he realized what I said was true.

He turned to me and said did that mean he fell in love with T before he was aware of it.

I reached over and gently hugged him and whispered into his ear "Yes, and that is what makes it special".

We sat down on the steps leading down into the backyard and he asked me how I knew I was in love with his mom and I told him I don't know when it happened as it was something very gradual that hit me one day. He asked what I meant and I told him the story of how I met his mom through work and how we'd talk every single day about various parts of the project we'd both been tasked and how when it ended we just kept sending one another emails or finding silly reasons to talk, that this went on for a few months before we even knew we'd been doing it.

He asked how I knew when I was in love with C and I must have smiled as he said "What?"

I replied that with C it was different as we met on a dating site (eHarmony) so we were both looking to meet someone whereas with his mom it was very happenstance and just one of those things that happens out of the blue.

With C I think I can almost pin the moment I fell for her......our first date

Now before you scoff at this notion take a moment and read on......

We met for lunch on November 15th at The Blue Cactus down in the Byward Market. We had to meet for lunch as she was having a girls night out but didn't want to wait two weeks to meet as I don't do initial dates on the Saturday's my son is with me, something she understood and supported.

I was really nervous but our conversation really flowed and when she got up to use the restroom she said she was leaving her purse so I couldn't leave as she was depending on me to keep an eye on it and smiled as she walked around the table.  I sat there thinking I wasn't doing too bad when the waitress walked over and touched up our water glasses and commented we made a nice couple. Just as I went to reply C leaned over my shoulder and softly kissed me and said she thought so too......

I'm pretty sure seeing the glint in her eyes and hearing the soft lilt of her voice that was the moment I fell in love with her.

I looked over at my son and told him that T might be his one or there could be others to come, but each would make her presence noticed in her own unique way, to enjoy each, savour them in your memories as each one is a special gift that can never be taken from you.

He had that confused look and I just smiled and said he'd understand in a few years what I was trying to share with him, that some thing's have to be experienced in order to be understood as words can't always convey the message.

As  he walked back into the house he looked back at me and said "Thank you for sharing that with me, I knew I could talk about this with you and not get a clinical answer like mom gives me"

I laughed and told him that sometimes I wondered which of his parents was more in touch with their inner emotions and as he walked down the hallway to his room he said over his shoulder "That's a no brainer dad, the one I always come to with my tough questions"..............