Sunday, March 31/19
I think today is the first day in almost two weeks that I feel somewhat like myself and think the cold or flu is finally in the rear view mirror, which means it's time to start posting some entries to this little thing I call a blog.
I'll say this....I love the benefits of modern pharmacology - 5 days of antibiotics and life was looking livable once more :)
So while I was stuck at home resting and loading up on liquids I had a chance to go over my Facebook and read some of the sites I follow that posted to my profile.
One such feed from "Texts From Last Night" caught my eye and not for the usual funny entry.
No, this one caught my eye for a whole different reason and really pissed me off to no end.
Seems there was a family doing a campus visit to the University of Notre Dame for their sons and mom wasn't too happy with some of the sights she saw and decided to submit an open ed piece addressed to all of the women on campus.
What made her so upset that she wrote the open ed?
Yoga pants!!!!!
Yes, you read that correctly. She was upset that university aged women were wearing yoga pants outside of the yoga studio, almost as if they were treating them like every day articles of clothing.
I mean how dare these women do that, the shame, evict them from the campus, and burn them all at the stake for being so bold as to wear something they found comfortable and stylish, something that lets them match almost anything with and be able to head out from the dorm or residence in a matter of a few minutes.
Oh, and her issue?? She feels this type of attire is far too tempting for the men on campus, especially her own sons, so women need to adjust how they dress to accommodate men.
I'm sorry, did we suddenly experience a shift in the temporal vortex that vaulted us back to the 1950's?
Maybe she thinks women should also give up the vote, I mean how can they even comprehend the issues of today with such under developed brains, best to leave the those things to men.
HOW FUCKING DARE SHE WRITE SUCH AN OPEN ED!!!!
What gives her the right to tell another person that she can't wear yoga pants because she failed to raise her own sons to know that how a woman dresses does not define her as a person.
I'm a father of both a male and female and know that my own children know well enough that how one dresses does not provide any excuse for the other to act like a complete idiot.
Can a nice pair of yoga pants cause some distraction? As a man I can absolutely attest to that.
Do I think I'm not in enough control of myself that I can't function if an attractive women passes me in said yoga pants? Nope, I'm more than capable of appreciating the beauty without demeaning the woman or thinking how she dresses is a message that I can act like a cave man.
I'm also smart enough to know that what a woman drinks isn't some kind of code to act aggressive with her at any time.
Kind of sad that what a woman may choose to drink may be used to blame her for what may happen and what a guy drinks might be used as his excuse for acting like an asshole.
I wonder if this woman wrote the human resources department where her husband works telling them they need to create a dress code at work for the females so as to not distract her husband while he is around them.
Funny how the men in her life aren't held to a higher standard and the burden for controlling how they might act falls upon the women around them........funny but not really funny at all, actually it says more about her than the men in her life, least there is hope for them once they are out from under her control, but she is stuck being a complete moron for the rest of her life.
So wear yoga pants, have a drink, laugh out loud, smile to your hearts content, hell even wink now and again.........and don't worry about any of those as I'll never think they give me permission to treat you like anything other then the wonderful, mysterious, beautiful creatures that all of you are..........
My name is Marcus and I know what you wear doesn't reflect anything about you nor will any male around me that I've had any influence over think that way either.
Today's musical suggestion is "I Got You" by the Split Enz. Nothing wrong with going old school folks :)
As always, questions and comments are welcome: ooasm2018@gmail.com
Sunday, March 31, 2019
Monday, March 25, 2019
So It's Not The Flu
Monday, March 25/19
Tried going into work today but that was a huge mistake on my part.
Sitting in a 9 am bank reconciliation meeting and was asked if I felt well as I looked really pale, laughed it off.
Started to go to the 10 am weekly IT meeting and had a coughing attack so bad that it made the CFO turn to me and tell me "Your cough hurts my chest, go home, go home now!"
So home I went but until I made an appointment at my family doctor for 4:15 pm.
As I entered the house my son was heading out to his first class and looked up in surprise at seeing me in the doorway but after one look he stopped asking what I was doing home and grabbed me a bottled water from the fridge and pointed me down the hall to my room.
I slept nonstop from 10:45 to 3:30 and man was it the best.
My doctor told me I've got more congestion that she liked to hear in my chest and out me on some antibiotics to try and head off this developing into bronchitis or pneumonia.
I'm home on bed rest tomorrow and supposed to make an honest assessment of how I'm feeling on Wednesday morning. I'm actually crossing my fingers I'm feeling well enough to go back to work as I feel like a free loader taking sick days when I can be there helping with the year end close.
My name is Marcus and experience has told me to never mess around when feeling sick - get attention and follow the directions.
Nothing musical comes to mind but that might just be because all my senses are sort of messed up at the moment.
You can reach the blogger, that's me, at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Tried going into work today but that was a huge mistake on my part.
Sitting in a 9 am bank reconciliation meeting and was asked if I felt well as I looked really pale, laughed it off.
Started to go to the 10 am weekly IT meeting and had a coughing attack so bad that it made the CFO turn to me and tell me "Your cough hurts my chest, go home, go home now!"
So home I went but until I made an appointment at my family doctor for 4:15 pm.
As I entered the house my son was heading out to his first class and looked up in surprise at seeing me in the doorway but after one look he stopped asking what I was doing home and grabbed me a bottled water from the fridge and pointed me down the hall to my room.
I slept nonstop from 10:45 to 3:30 and man was it the best.
My doctor told me I've got more congestion that she liked to hear in my chest and out me on some antibiotics to try and head off this developing into bronchitis or pneumonia.
I'm home on bed rest tomorrow and supposed to make an honest assessment of how I'm feeling on Wednesday morning. I'm actually crossing my fingers I'm feeling well enough to go back to work as I feel like a free loader taking sick days when I can be there helping with the year end close.
My name is Marcus and experience has told me to never mess around when feeling sick - get attention and follow the directions.
Nothing musical comes to mind but that might just be because all my senses are sort of messed up at the moment.
You can reach the blogger, that's me, at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Sunday, March 24, 2019
Hit by the Flu
Sunday, March 24/19
So the lack of blog entries is entirely related to me being crushed by a bout with the flu.
Crushed to the extent that on Tuesday I thought I was going to die and on Wednesday I was wishing I would die due to the sore throat, coughing, sneezing, runny nose, fever, aches and pains, and complete lack of appetite.
I think over the last week I've maybe slept about 3 straight hours before waking up with the worst cough, imagine that annoying person at the theatre who coughs all during the movie, the one who should have stayed home, well that was me minus the leaving the house.
So this weekend has been about getting lots of rest and trying to shake the last of the symptoms as this coming week is the last before year end and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be on call next weekend to help deal with system issues as we have to have all inventory related transactions posted before midnight on March 31st to get them to count as part of the fiscal year.
Yes, those of you who have followed the blog for a bit might sense something different with that last paragraph and I'll get more into it with an additional entry that I need to get vetted before posting.
My name is Marcus and getting the flu shot doesn't always mean avoiding the flu but hopefully it lessened the impact, least I hope it did.
Comments and questions are always welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
So the lack of blog entries is entirely related to me being crushed by a bout with the flu.
Crushed to the extent that on Tuesday I thought I was going to die and on Wednesday I was wishing I would die due to the sore throat, coughing, sneezing, runny nose, fever, aches and pains, and complete lack of appetite.
I think over the last week I've maybe slept about 3 straight hours before waking up with the worst cough, imagine that annoying person at the theatre who coughs all during the movie, the one who should have stayed home, well that was me minus the leaving the house.
So this weekend has been about getting lots of rest and trying to shake the last of the symptoms as this coming week is the last before year end and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be on call next weekend to help deal with system issues as we have to have all inventory related transactions posted before midnight on March 31st to get them to count as part of the fiscal year.
Yes, those of you who have followed the blog for a bit might sense something different with that last paragraph and I'll get more into it with an additional entry that I need to get vetted before posting.
My name is Marcus and getting the flu shot doesn't always mean avoiding the flu but hopefully it lessened the impact, least I hope it did.
Comments and questions are always welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Tuesday, March 12, 2019
The Goatee is Safe
Tuesday, March 12/19
So I've received a few emails since posting my entry comparing online dating to the wild west and all were about the one request to shave off my goatee so someone would meet me for the first time.
When I think back to that whole exchange I'm shocked someone would think themselves so entitled that they would expect another person to make such a change and also really amused that anyone over the age of 5 could act like that.
The one thing I can say with 100% certainty is there is only one person who has the power to get me to shave it off and his name is Jack, also called Baby Jack in some previous postings.
Yes, my grandson has that kind of power over me and one day when he has a sibling or my son produces a grandchild than they'll have that power as well. I know they won't use that power blindly and will respect that with such power comes a great responsibility, the responsibility to make sure grandpa doesn't look like an idiot too often.
So to everyone out there telling me to keep the goatee, which is always well trimmed I might add, take a breath and relax and to those few who suggested I mix it up and shave it off, well not going to happen as I can mix things up without such drastic measures to my appearance.
Miss Wanda, thanks for words of encouragement and I'll admit I'm sure I've spoken about Corinne on the first few attempts to date after the breakup so I sympathize with you on your own experience and with him for his feelings.
Daylight savings means that golf isn't that far away, can you just imagine how excited I'm getting?
My name is Marcus and the goatee stays for now, right Jack?
Observations and questions can be directed to ooasm2018@gmail.com
So I've received a few emails since posting my entry comparing online dating to the wild west and all were about the one request to shave off my goatee so someone would meet me for the first time.
When I think back to that whole exchange I'm shocked someone would think themselves so entitled that they would expect another person to make such a change and also really amused that anyone over the age of 5 could act like that.
The one thing I can say with 100% certainty is there is only one person who has the power to get me to shave it off and his name is Jack, also called Baby Jack in some previous postings.
Yes, my grandson has that kind of power over me and one day when he has a sibling or my son produces a grandchild than they'll have that power as well. I know they won't use that power blindly and will respect that with such power comes a great responsibility, the responsibility to make sure grandpa doesn't look like an idiot too often.
So to everyone out there telling me to keep the goatee, which is always well trimmed I might add, take a breath and relax and to those few who suggested I mix it up and shave it off, well not going to happen as I can mix things up without such drastic measures to my appearance.
Miss Wanda, thanks for words of encouragement and I'll admit I'm sure I've spoken about Corinne on the first few attempts to date after the breakup so I sympathize with you on your own experience and with him for his feelings.
Daylight savings means that golf isn't that far away, can you just imagine how excited I'm getting?
My name is Marcus and the goatee stays for now, right Jack?
Observations and questions can be directed to ooasm2018@gmail.com
How Much Do We Share..........
Saturday, March 09/19
So I've been asked numerous times over the last few years how I come up with the topics I write blogs about and my answer has been consistent that they come from things that happen to me, that I see around me, and that I read about.
Today's blog is one such example as it came to me as I was sitting on the couch with Moki curled up in my lap while reading a story on my iPad this morning.
Total disclosure I was reading "Taking it Easy" by Erin Nicholas. To save you the trouble I'll go ahead right now and confess it is a romantic story and yes, that does mean I'm still reading them, actually haven't really stopped since this time last year, if I really think about it I'd say I've probably read a couple of hundred by now, enjoying every single one of them too!
Okay, enough about my not so secret vice and onto the blog entry.........
I'm not going to do a whole outline of the story other than to say it involves two people who end up together due to unforeseen circumstances who realize they don't know as much about each other as people who've been dating for a little while would and her worry about how much does she share about her prior relationship.
So that is my question......how much do you share about prior relationships with your current partner and how soon or long do you wait before sharing things, how deep does the sharing go, and if you really feel like they are the one for you, do you hold anything back.........
Lots to ponder there right?
I can only speak from my own experiences being married twice and in what I'd call 2.5 other serious relationships outside of marriage.
I can't say there was much to share with my first wife as I'd only had a couple of high school girlfriends before her but I do know that I found it difficult at times to share my dreams and worries with her from about the mid point of our marriage till the end. I think it was about that time that I realized we weren't really meant for one another and it didn't make sense to open myself up to her and share what could be used against me later on. Now I know some will read that and say I was acting in a self-fulfilling way by not sharing with her and thus the inevitable end of our relationship was being hastened along, and maybe they're right, but I was the one in the relationship and knew we'd reached the point of no return with some of her comments and actions and wasn't willing to endure any more heartache and just cut my losses at that point.
I know I've blogged before how I left my first marriage with almost no self confidence and how Suzanne made me realize during our brief but rather intense relationship, the .5 of the 2.5 I've had for those wondering, that I was a far better man than I thought or was led to believe. But I only shared some superficial thoughts or experiences with Suzanne, maybe because I knew what we had was more transitory than either of us were willing to admit, and it didn't seem like something that needed to be done. I'll admit this one was more about the physical than anything else and I have no shame from any walks I made from her place the next morning and know for a fact she had a little hitch in her step and smile on her face when she made her own from my place.
Marriage number two was a little different in that my ex was pretty independent and had already been raising her daughter, soon to be my daughter, for almost five years before we started seeing one another. In some ways I rejoiced in her independence as it meant all the decision making wasn't being left up to me and in some ways that made it a little harder to share my experiences from the first marriage as in her eyes she couldn't see how someone would have put up with what I did for that many years, as she told me once "Bitch was crazy and didn't deserve the love" and she was right but I've not always been able to see such things so clearly. I shared more with her than I thought and yet at times it felt like I hadn't shared anything at all, sort of a strange statement to read but it really is how I felt most of the time. To this day I don't think I ever talked to her about Suzanne as I'm pretty sure that would have made her more than a little jealous to hear and I don't like playing games like that in the least. I don't think she was ever really worried I would stray but did let me know two times that she didn't like the way a couple of women would look at me or flirt, things I never noticed being mister oblivious lol
Karine was the first serious relationship post marriage and interesting for a number of reasons. First off was the fact that she lived on the Gatineau side of the river and was French Canadian. Neither of these things is bad but more out of the ordinary where I am concerned as I perfectly unilingual and never saw myself dating from the Quebec side. The second interesting fact was that she was the first time I'd dated someone ten years younger than myself, coupled with she had no children. We dated for about seven months and shared quite a bit with one another, including the fact that I was not adverse to having more children and she wasn't sure if she wanted to have any at all, exclusive of my son and daughter, who she never even met as I wasn't sure the time was right. Maybe that should be my litmus test on when the time is right to share the deep feelings or experiences, when I reach that point in time when I think meeting my kids is good is also the time to share deep things. Maybe that is backwards as what if we share things and find them so different from what we expect that we don't want them to meet our kids, interesting conundrum don't you think.
With Karine I can say I shared more and yet not enough as things sort of broke down between us when I started looking for a house to buy and didn't think to include her in the process, well from her perspective I should have included her, and it came up when I showed her the floor plans for one I was seriously considering making an offer on and she commented that she hadn't even seen it yet and it looked like there was only room for one car in the driveway. My response of "But I've only got one car" brought complete silence on the call and it was at that point I realized that we hadn't shared any thoughts whatsoever on where each of us saw things going. I saw us dating for another year or so before we came to the big decisions and she saw us at that point now and told me she'd been talking to a realtor about selling her place so she could help with a bigger down payment on the one we were going to buy and wasn't against living in Kanata as long as I promised to visit her family every couple of weekends in Montreal. Needless to say we both realized that while we enjoyed spending time with one another we hadn't felt the need to verbalize what we both were feeling and that probably wasn't an good indicator of how we'd do as a couple living together.
And then there was Corinne................
Of anyone I've let into my life I can honestly say I think I was the most open with her about things that had transpired with me before meeting her, I shared the good and the bad, and I'm pretty sure I was open about my hope for the future.
Hindsight says I might have been a too open on that future part as maybe my seeing us together as she transitioned through the various phases of her movements through her organization was what made her take a step back and say to herself "Oh, Hell No!"
I'm kidding with that last bit......mostly as I do wonder if my being open to talking about what might happen to us made her nervous as I'm sure not many guys would have been as open and honest about not minding following a partner around.
I don't think there was a subject we didn't talk about or were afraid to talk about if the moment called for it. Communicating wasn't really an issue with her and it was that way from the start with some really good conversations on the phone before we even met for the first time. I think it was that easy rapport that made the initial date, yes it was a date and not a meet-n-greet as it involved a meal, go so well and left neither one of us wanting it to end that chilly Saturday down in the market.
I think it's clear to see that I've run the gamut from not sharing enough to sharing everything important and maybe sharing too much too soon.
If I had to take one approach I'd follow the one I employed with Corinne but maybe leave out some of the thoughts about the future and let her more lead that aspect of the sharing so she would have been more comfortable.
How much do you share and why that amount?
My name is Marcus and I'm searching for my one but along the way I'm going to see what life brings me by way of new friends and adventures.
Today's musical suggestion is "Really Don't Care" by Postmodern Jukebox with Morgan James on lead vocals and the happiest guy I've ever seen on tambourine.
Watch the YouTube video here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EddjOiFcp9Y
As always, comments and questions are welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
So I've been asked numerous times over the last few years how I come up with the topics I write blogs about and my answer has been consistent that they come from things that happen to me, that I see around me, and that I read about.
Today's blog is one such example as it came to me as I was sitting on the couch with Moki curled up in my lap while reading a story on my iPad this morning.
Total disclosure I was reading "Taking it Easy" by Erin Nicholas. To save you the trouble I'll go ahead right now and confess it is a romantic story and yes, that does mean I'm still reading them, actually haven't really stopped since this time last year, if I really think about it I'd say I've probably read a couple of hundred by now, enjoying every single one of them too!
Okay, enough about my not so secret vice and onto the blog entry.........
I'm not going to do a whole outline of the story other than to say it involves two people who end up together due to unforeseen circumstances who realize they don't know as much about each other as people who've been dating for a little while would and her worry about how much does she share about her prior relationship.
So that is my question......how much do you share about prior relationships with your current partner and how soon or long do you wait before sharing things, how deep does the sharing go, and if you really feel like they are the one for you, do you hold anything back.........
Lots to ponder there right?
I can only speak from my own experiences being married twice and in what I'd call 2.5 other serious relationships outside of marriage.
I can't say there was much to share with my first wife as I'd only had a couple of high school girlfriends before her but I do know that I found it difficult at times to share my dreams and worries with her from about the mid point of our marriage till the end. I think it was about that time that I realized we weren't really meant for one another and it didn't make sense to open myself up to her and share what could be used against me later on. Now I know some will read that and say I was acting in a self-fulfilling way by not sharing with her and thus the inevitable end of our relationship was being hastened along, and maybe they're right, but I was the one in the relationship and knew we'd reached the point of no return with some of her comments and actions and wasn't willing to endure any more heartache and just cut my losses at that point.
I know I've blogged before how I left my first marriage with almost no self confidence and how Suzanne made me realize during our brief but rather intense relationship, the .5 of the 2.5 I've had for those wondering, that I was a far better man than I thought or was led to believe. But I only shared some superficial thoughts or experiences with Suzanne, maybe because I knew what we had was more transitory than either of us were willing to admit, and it didn't seem like something that needed to be done. I'll admit this one was more about the physical than anything else and I have no shame from any walks I made from her place the next morning and know for a fact she had a little hitch in her step and smile on her face when she made her own from my place.
Marriage number two was a little different in that my ex was pretty independent and had already been raising her daughter, soon to be my daughter, for almost five years before we started seeing one another. In some ways I rejoiced in her independence as it meant all the decision making wasn't being left up to me and in some ways that made it a little harder to share my experiences from the first marriage as in her eyes she couldn't see how someone would have put up with what I did for that many years, as she told me once "Bitch was crazy and didn't deserve the love" and she was right but I've not always been able to see such things so clearly. I shared more with her than I thought and yet at times it felt like I hadn't shared anything at all, sort of a strange statement to read but it really is how I felt most of the time. To this day I don't think I ever talked to her about Suzanne as I'm pretty sure that would have made her more than a little jealous to hear and I don't like playing games like that in the least. I don't think she was ever really worried I would stray but did let me know two times that she didn't like the way a couple of women would look at me or flirt, things I never noticed being mister oblivious lol
Karine was the first serious relationship post marriage and interesting for a number of reasons. First off was the fact that she lived on the Gatineau side of the river and was French Canadian. Neither of these things is bad but more out of the ordinary where I am concerned as I perfectly unilingual and never saw myself dating from the Quebec side. The second interesting fact was that she was the first time I'd dated someone ten years younger than myself, coupled with she had no children. We dated for about seven months and shared quite a bit with one another, including the fact that I was not adverse to having more children and she wasn't sure if she wanted to have any at all, exclusive of my son and daughter, who she never even met as I wasn't sure the time was right. Maybe that should be my litmus test on when the time is right to share the deep feelings or experiences, when I reach that point in time when I think meeting my kids is good is also the time to share deep things. Maybe that is backwards as what if we share things and find them so different from what we expect that we don't want them to meet our kids, interesting conundrum don't you think.
With Karine I can say I shared more and yet not enough as things sort of broke down between us when I started looking for a house to buy and didn't think to include her in the process, well from her perspective I should have included her, and it came up when I showed her the floor plans for one I was seriously considering making an offer on and she commented that she hadn't even seen it yet and it looked like there was only room for one car in the driveway. My response of "But I've only got one car" brought complete silence on the call and it was at that point I realized that we hadn't shared any thoughts whatsoever on where each of us saw things going. I saw us dating for another year or so before we came to the big decisions and she saw us at that point now and told me she'd been talking to a realtor about selling her place so she could help with a bigger down payment on the one we were going to buy and wasn't against living in Kanata as long as I promised to visit her family every couple of weekends in Montreal. Needless to say we both realized that while we enjoyed spending time with one another we hadn't felt the need to verbalize what we both were feeling and that probably wasn't an good indicator of how we'd do as a couple living together.
And then there was Corinne................
Of anyone I've let into my life I can honestly say I think I was the most open with her about things that had transpired with me before meeting her, I shared the good and the bad, and I'm pretty sure I was open about my hope for the future.
Hindsight says I might have been a too open on that future part as maybe my seeing us together as she transitioned through the various phases of her movements through her organization was what made her take a step back and say to herself "Oh, Hell No!"
I'm kidding with that last bit......mostly as I do wonder if my being open to talking about what might happen to us made her nervous as I'm sure not many guys would have been as open and honest about not minding following a partner around.
I don't think there was a subject we didn't talk about or were afraid to talk about if the moment called for it. Communicating wasn't really an issue with her and it was that way from the start with some really good conversations on the phone before we even met for the first time. I think it was that easy rapport that made the initial date, yes it was a date and not a meet-n-greet as it involved a meal, go so well and left neither one of us wanting it to end that chilly Saturday down in the market.
I think it's clear to see that I've run the gamut from not sharing enough to sharing everything important and maybe sharing too much too soon.
If I had to take one approach I'd follow the one I employed with Corinne but maybe leave out some of the thoughts about the future and let her more lead that aspect of the sharing so she would have been more comfortable.
How much do you share and why that amount?
My name is Marcus and I'm searching for my one but along the way I'm going to see what life brings me by way of new friends and adventures.
Today's musical suggestion is "Really Don't Care" by Postmodern Jukebox with Morgan James on lead vocals and the happiest guy I've ever seen on tambourine.
Watch the YouTube video here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EddjOiFcp9Y
As always, comments and questions are welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Wednesday, March 6, 2019
Online Dating is Like The Wild, Wild West
Wednesday, March 06/19
So as I've previously mentioned in other posts, I've returned to the world of dating and reactivated an online account to help me meet new people.
The online dating world certainly has changed over the past few years as now it seems as if every other profile contains photo shopped pictures or pictures of 25 year old's on profiles saying they are 45-50 years old.
Because nobody is ever going to question that on a profile.........
But even though I find those facts alone to be a little disturbing, what is really offsetting is some of the messages I've received over the last few weeks.
I had one woman contact me telling me I had a well written profile that made her laugh, cute pictures, and she wanted to get to know me better but she had one special request.......could I please shave off my goatee and send her proof of a clean shaven face before she would consider meeting me for drinks.
Really? You want me to change my appearance so as to please someone I've never even met, someone I might not click with should we even meet, I don't think so, not here and not now.
Does that mean I wouldn't ever consider shaving it off? No, of course it doesn't, but it does mean I'm not doing so after a few dates let alone before we've even met.
There are so many online dating sites these days that I wonder how anyone chooses one over another....
Bumble, Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Match, and eHarmony seem to dominate the landscape, all targeting a different slice of the dating pool.
The funnies messages come from fake profiles where they incorporate a persons full name as the user name, as if that will somehow make them seem more real.....SusanEvans278 or BarbJones88B are a couple I've seen.
Add in when they let you know their favorite drink in the tag line so you know just what to order them when you two finally meet........I like Harvey Wallbangers or I only drink Gin & Tonic are popular, which means the profiles were set up to scam people.......
The final giveaway is when they say something like "I'm hardly ever on here but you can always find me on nakedhump.com or easyholes.com"...........so you set up a profile on a dating site and list a relationship as your objective but don't spend time on the site but do spend time on a porn site.....please let me grab my wallet and see what it's all about
I think it fair to say I'm becoming a little jaded about dating given all the crap you have to endure to even have someone look at your profile and if you are lucky, they'll send you a message, but odds are that about 85% of messages come from these fake profiles hoping to separate you from your hard earned money.
Now not being on the female side of the equation I have no clue that you women are going through but can't imagine it's really any better, maybe not as blatantly obvious but probably still just as likely to make your skin crawl and feel the need for a very hot shower with lots of soap....
Think I might need to reassess my decision to unhide my profile and let nature take it's course and meet someone the old fashioned way, passing notes in homeroom.......oh yeah, those days are long past me so maybe I'm screwed and not in the fun way.......
My name is Marcus and as open minded as I try to be some things still have me scratching my head and asking myself WTF?
Questions/comments care of ooasm2018@gmail.com
Today's musical suggestion is a duet with Sting & Shaggy on "Just One Lifetime"
So as I've previously mentioned in other posts, I've returned to the world of dating and reactivated an online account to help me meet new people.
The online dating world certainly has changed over the past few years as now it seems as if every other profile contains photo shopped pictures or pictures of 25 year old's on profiles saying they are 45-50 years old.
Because nobody is ever going to question that on a profile.........
But even though I find those facts alone to be a little disturbing, what is really offsetting is some of the messages I've received over the last few weeks.
I had one woman contact me telling me I had a well written profile that made her laugh, cute pictures, and she wanted to get to know me better but she had one special request.......could I please shave off my goatee and send her proof of a clean shaven face before she would consider meeting me for drinks.
Really? You want me to change my appearance so as to please someone I've never even met, someone I might not click with should we even meet, I don't think so, not here and not now.
Does that mean I wouldn't ever consider shaving it off? No, of course it doesn't, but it does mean I'm not doing so after a few dates let alone before we've even met.
There are so many online dating sites these days that I wonder how anyone chooses one over another....
Bumble, Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Match, and eHarmony seem to dominate the landscape, all targeting a different slice of the dating pool.
The funnies messages come from fake profiles where they incorporate a persons full name as the user name, as if that will somehow make them seem more real.....SusanEvans278 or BarbJones88B are a couple I've seen.
Add in when they let you know their favorite drink in the tag line so you know just what to order them when you two finally meet........I like Harvey Wallbangers or I only drink Gin & Tonic are popular, which means the profiles were set up to scam people.......
The final giveaway is when they say something like "I'm hardly ever on here but you can always find me on nakedhump.com or easyholes.com"...........so you set up a profile on a dating site and list a relationship as your objective but don't spend time on the site but do spend time on a porn site.....please let me grab my wallet and see what it's all about
I think it fair to say I'm becoming a little jaded about dating given all the crap you have to endure to even have someone look at your profile and if you are lucky, they'll send you a message, but odds are that about 85% of messages come from these fake profiles hoping to separate you from your hard earned money.
Now not being on the female side of the equation I have no clue that you women are going through but can't imagine it's really any better, maybe not as blatantly obvious but probably still just as likely to make your skin crawl and feel the need for a very hot shower with lots of soap....
Think I might need to reassess my decision to unhide my profile and let nature take it's course and meet someone the old fashioned way, passing notes in homeroom.......oh yeah, those days are long past me so maybe I'm screwed and not in the fun way.......
My name is Marcus and as open minded as I try to be some things still have me scratching my head and asking myself WTF?
Questions/comments care of ooasm2018@gmail.com
Today's musical suggestion is a duet with Sting & Shaggy on "Just One Lifetime"
Sunday, March 3, 2019
Love is.........
Wednesday, February 27/19
On March 11th I've got a meeting scheduled and once it's over I think I'll be in a position to post some blog entries about changes that have been going on in my life, so please be patient and some of the references in entries over the past month or so will make a little more sense, I hope.....
So I was sitting in the lobby of my building just outside the cafe that serves the twin towers this afternoon and I happened to overhear a conversation between two women that made me rethink some of my thoughts about love and my approach, well what I think was my approach going back a few years.
Now neither of these women work for the same company as me so I have no clue who they are and I'm pretty confident I've never seen them before and probably won't ever run into them again given the large number of people who cross paths over the course of the day in the building, all of which makes this random encounter that much more interesting.
There are these little areas setup in the lobby that have really comfy low seats arranged around a central low table and spread around them are 2 or 4 top tables where people can eat lunch, work on laptops, or play cards, really whatever strikes a persons mood. I was sitting in one of the low seats with my ear buds in acting like sound dampeners without any music playing just reading my tablet and snacking on some fruit and veggies I'd packed for my lunch, just minding my own business when two women sat at a 2 top table sort of to my right and started to chat while eating salads.
I didn't really pay them much attention as they sat down and I'm pretty sure they thought I had music playing as they didn't hesitate to begin having a rather interesting conversation about relationships and love.
Since I won't likely come across them again I'm going to go ahead and use the names they called one another as I don't think it's breaking any privacy issues, least ways that is what I'm trying to convince myself of right now.
I'd say they were between late 20's to early 40's and that shows you just how broken my age detector really is these days as I have no clue how old they could of been other than they were younger than me, but that's not so hard to be given my own advanced age lol
The blond was named Emily and the brunette was named Yvette and had a delectable little French accent.
The conversation basically centered around Emily's decision, made from the sound of things that very morning, to end things with her boyfriend of close to two years and her basis for the decision. Here is my best recollection of the exchange.
Emily: So I've decided I'm done with Matt and I'm going to end things tonight when I go to his place for dinner
Yvette: WHAT! Why? I thought things were good between you two
Emily: They are good but I don't see him in the plan.
Yvette: Oh Em, you know I love you, but sometimes your views on relationships and love make me want to pull my hair out. You can't treat love like a business plan and lay it out so formally.
Emily: How is wanting someone that fits into my life plan wrong?
Now this is where it made me pay attention, probably more than I should have....
Yvette: Relationships aren't business, They're messy and they're complicated - they're organic, they breathe, they evolve over timer, they don't live by any set of rules
Emily: <Huge Sigh> But I don't like messy and I hate complicated
Yvette: Of course you don't but you don't get to decide these things as they aren't controllable, the best you can hope for is to find someone with whom you can share the ride with
Emily: Well that sure as shit isn't Matt and I'm more certain of that than anything else right now, a girl in a relationship shouldn't have to use her vibrator as much as I do these days......
At this point Yvette started having a coughing attack as she had been taking a drink when she heard that and tried her best not to spit it out all over her friend.
I think they realized this was a conversation they needed to have in a less public place and picked up their stuff and left to head back to work. I sat there for a few more minutes thinking about all I had just heard.
Love is organic is my biggest takeaway from the entire conversation as it's so true. We can try and plan things out but we'd best be ready for the proverbial monkey wrench to be thrown our way now and again, rolling with the punch is something we're all told growing up and it's nowhere truer than when it comes to love.
Love is messy. It evokes emotions, it makes us feel like we are floating above the clouds one moment and plummeting to our deaths the next, it causes our hearts to beat with anticipation and with dread, love doesn't play favourites, it doesn't care about your race, age, religion, or sexual orientation.
Love will make you feel alive one day and dead to the world the next, it'll make you the centre of the universe and then as quickly leave you feeling completely isolated and alone.
Love hurts, love excites, love is what we all want in our lives, no matter what we might try and tell ourselves.
I know that I used to be more like Emily than I ever thought. I like to sort of plan things out and when my plan didn't pan out I'd get rattled, this led me to sort of start taking a step back whenever someone showed interest in me as I'd ask myself "why bother, they'll just end up hurting me"
Pretty sad way to go into it with someone new right?
When I would go out with anyone I'd start looking for those little signs that meant it wouldn't work out and than I'd use them to justify my decision to not see them again.
The only time I didn't follow this model was when I met Corinne. No, this isn't a post about laminating for a lost love, it's about how people can change you from one mind set to another.
When I met her for lunch I sensed a connection, helped by the several hours prior that we'd spend chatting on the phone, but even thought my heart kicked a beat faster while we sat across from one another I was already mentally cataloging the ways I wasn't good enough for her, trying to find my exit strategy when she blew that out of the water and leaned over to kiss me, telling me she'd been imaging the feel of my lips on hers all day long.
She side tracked me and when I tried to distance myself the next day she called me out on my bullshit and wouldn't let me act so stupidly, making me agree that we had something strong developing between us.
Now I know there are those who have read some of the older posts and want to point out that we did end up breaking up but that's not the point I'm trying to make here....she got me to think outside my normal box and that is what love does, it mixes things up.
Sure we split up a year later but oh what a year it was in my books, the most alive I'd felt since the first years of my marriage, she reminded me that I am a good guy and just need to stop getting into my own head so damn much, that I don't need to let others expectations control me, that changing things up is never a bad thing.
I miss that aspect of being with her and think I need to force that train of thought to become a more central theme in how I approach things going on in my life, sort of what I started to do back in October but won't be able to talk about for another week or so.
It's funny that you can have your heart broken by someone and still be thankful for the time you were with them as you know that in the end you came out of it a better person, which is how I feel about my time with Corinne.
Love isn't rooted in concrete, it can be permanent and it can be as fleeting as the clouds floating across the sky, it really depends on the people involved and how they mesh what they want from each other.
I don't try and imagine things with anyone that extend past the next month or so, least not until there is a relationship developing, and then I'd probably push things out a few months at a time.
In hindsight, such a wonderful superpower to have, I'm sure I got too invested in things with Corrine and scared the shit out her as she has to do more planning for her carer and didn't need it at home as well. They say a smart person learns from their mistakes so here's hoping I'm as smart as I like to think I am and don't sabotage the next relationship I'm in.......
My name is Marcus and I hope love finds it's way into my life as I like to think I'm a good catch but guess that is more something I should let others decide upon for themselves.
Questions and/or comments are always welcome - ooasm2018@gmail.com
Tonight's musical suggestion is "Echoes of You" from the new Marianas Trench album. I'm really liking the sound of this one and think the wait between albums was well worth it.
P.S. Emily, If you ever come across this blog, know that real relationships mean not needing a vibrator, I'm just saying :-)
On March 11th I've got a meeting scheduled and once it's over I think I'll be in a position to post some blog entries about changes that have been going on in my life, so please be patient and some of the references in entries over the past month or so will make a little more sense, I hope.....
So I was sitting in the lobby of my building just outside the cafe that serves the twin towers this afternoon and I happened to overhear a conversation between two women that made me rethink some of my thoughts about love and my approach, well what I think was my approach going back a few years.
Now neither of these women work for the same company as me so I have no clue who they are and I'm pretty confident I've never seen them before and probably won't ever run into them again given the large number of people who cross paths over the course of the day in the building, all of which makes this random encounter that much more interesting.
There are these little areas setup in the lobby that have really comfy low seats arranged around a central low table and spread around them are 2 or 4 top tables where people can eat lunch, work on laptops, or play cards, really whatever strikes a persons mood. I was sitting in one of the low seats with my ear buds in acting like sound dampeners without any music playing just reading my tablet and snacking on some fruit and veggies I'd packed for my lunch, just minding my own business when two women sat at a 2 top table sort of to my right and started to chat while eating salads.
I didn't really pay them much attention as they sat down and I'm pretty sure they thought I had music playing as they didn't hesitate to begin having a rather interesting conversation about relationships and love.
Since I won't likely come across them again I'm going to go ahead and use the names they called one another as I don't think it's breaking any privacy issues, least ways that is what I'm trying to convince myself of right now.
I'd say they were between late 20's to early 40's and that shows you just how broken my age detector really is these days as I have no clue how old they could of been other than they were younger than me, but that's not so hard to be given my own advanced age lol
The blond was named Emily and the brunette was named Yvette and had a delectable little French accent.
The conversation basically centered around Emily's decision, made from the sound of things that very morning, to end things with her boyfriend of close to two years and her basis for the decision. Here is my best recollection of the exchange.
Emily: So I've decided I'm done with Matt and I'm going to end things tonight when I go to his place for dinner
Yvette: WHAT! Why? I thought things were good between you two
Emily: They are good but I don't see him in the plan.
Yvette: Oh Em, you know I love you, but sometimes your views on relationships and love make me want to pull my hair out. You can't treat love like a business plan and lay it out so formally.
Emily: How is wanting someone that fits into my life plan wrong?
Now this is where it made me pay attention, probably more than I should have....
Yvette: Relationships aren't business, They're messy and they're complicated - they're organic, they breathe, they evolve over timer, they don't live by any set of rules
Emily: <Huge Sigh> But I don't like messy and I hate complicated
Yvette: Of course you don't but you don't get to decide these things as they aren't controllable, the best you can hope for is to find someone with whom you can share the ride with
Emily: Well that sure as shit isn't Matt and I'm more certain of that than anything else right now, a girl in a relationship shouldn't have to use her vibrator as much as I do these days......
At this point Yvette started having a coughing attack as she had been taking a drink when she heard that and tried her best not to spit it out all over her friend.
I think they realized this was a conversation they needed to have in a less public place and picked up their stuff and left to head back to work. I sat there for a few more minutes thinking about all I had just heard.
Love is organic is my biggest takeaway from the entire conversation as it's so true. We can try and plan things out but we'd best be ready for the proverbial monkey wrench to be thrown our way now and again, rolling with the punch is something we're all told growing up and it's nowhere truer than when it comes to love.
Love is messy. It evokes emotions, it makes us feel like we are floating above the clouds one moment and plummeting to our deaths the next, it causes our hearts to beat with anticipation and with dread, love doesn't play favourites, it doesn't care about your race, age, religion, or sexual orientation.
Love will make you feel alive one day and dead to the world the next, it'll make you the centre of the universe and then as quickly leave you feeling completely isolated and alone.
Love hurts, love excites, love is what we all want in our lives, no matter what we might try and tell ourselves.
I know that I used to be more like Emily than I ever thought. I like to sort of plan things out and when my plan didn't pan out I'd get rattled, this led me to sort of start taking a step back whenever someone showed interest in me as I'd ask myself "why bother, they'll just end up hurting me"
Pretty sad way to go into it with someone new right?
When I would go out with anyone I'd start looking for those little signs that meant it wouldn't work out and than I'd use them to justify my decision to not see them again.
The only time I didn't follow this model was when I met Corinne. No, this isn't a post about laminating for a lost love, it's about how people can change you from one mind set to another.
When I met her for lunch I sensed a connection, helped by the several hours prior that we'd spend chatting on the phone, but even thought my heart kicked a beat faster while we sat across from one another I was already mentally cataloging the ways I wasn't good enough for her, trying to find my exit strategy when she blew that out of the water and leaned over to kiss me, telling me she'd been imaging the feel of my lips on hers all day long.
She side tracked me and when I tried to distance myself the next day she called me out on my bullshit and wouldn't let me act so stupidly, making me agree that we had something strong developing between us.
Now I know there are those who have read some of the older posts and want to point out that we did end up breaking up but that's not the point I'm trying to make here....she got me to think outside my normal box and that is what love does, it mixes things up.
Sure we split up a year later but oh what a year it was in my books, the most alive I'd felt since the first years of my marriage, she reminded me that I am a good guy and just need to stop getting into my own head so damn much, that I don't need to let others expectations control me, that changing things up is never a bad thing.
I miss that aspect of being with her and think I need to force that train of thought to become a more central theme in how I approach things going on in my life, sort of what I started to do back in October but won't be able to talk about for another week or so.
It's funny that you can have your heart broken by someone and still be thankful for the time you were with them as you know that in the end you came out of it a better person, which is how I feel about my time with Corinne.
Love isn't rooted in concrete, it can be permanent and it can be as fleeting as the clouds floating across the sky, it really depends on the people involved and how they mesh what they want from each other.
I don't try and imagine things with anyone that extend past the next month or so, least not until there is a relationship developing, and then I'd probably push things out a few months at a time.
In hindsight, such a wonderful superpower to have, I'm sure I got too invested in things with Corrine and scared the shit out her as she has to do more planning for her carer and didn't need it at home as well. They say a smart person learns from their mistakes so here's hoping I'm as smart as I like to think I am and don't sabotage the next relationship I'm in.......
My name is Marcus and I hope love finds it's way into my life as I like to think I'm a good catch but guess that is more something I should let others decide upon for themselves.
Questions and/or comments are always welcome - ooasm2018@gmail.com
Tonight's musical suggestion is "Echoes of You" from the new Marianas Trench album. I'm really liking the sound of this one and think the wait between albums was well worth it.
P.S. Emily, If you ever come across this blog, know that real relationships mean not needing a vibrator, I'm just saying :-)
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