Today’s musical recommendation is “Mad World” by Tears for
Fears
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I had the talk with my son the other day. No, not the sex
one as I don’t think I’m ready yet for him to explain how things work and think
it will be very uncomfortable to sit through it lol
No, the talk I’m referring to centers around being safe in a
mad and crazy world. Now I know we live
in Canada and it is nothing like the United States and I thank God for that far
more often than I ever thought possible, especially given that I grew up down
there, but the truth is that the world you and I grew up in is long gone and
one we’ll likely never see again.
It feels like not a single day goes by without some kind of
news story about a shooting, whether it’s at a school, courthouse, mall, or on
the street. I read a story that there were something like 93 deaths over a span
of 6 days in shooting related incidents and it scared the living crap out of
me.
When I was a young lad we’d stay out till all hours in the
summer and our parents would just yell out the door for us to come home, other
adults could tell us to knock it off when we acted up and we’d actually listen,
and the scariest part about school was whether we forgot our lunch money,
didn’t do our homework, or missed the bus. Today those are the least of the
worries we face as parents, now we worry about bullying, drugs, alcohol, and
some crazy person deciding they’ve had enough and it is time to bring a gun out
and show the world how they deal with things.
Now my son has to call either his mom or I when he gets home
to let us know where he is, what his plans are for the afternoon, and who he’ll
be hanging out with. We installed a friend finder app on his cell phone so we
know where he is for those times he has it on mute and can’t hear it ringing,
least this way we have some comfort in knowing we can track him down. Sounds
kind of stalkerish and he isn't too crazy about these things but better safe
than sorry.
I look at his cell phone as I do life preservers on a boat –
not as something it would be nice to have but something you better damn well
make sure are on board at all times.
So last week when I found out he’d been leaving his cell
phone at home I kind of lost it and blew a gasket with him and for one of the
few times in his life actually raised my voice at him. I asked him why he was
leaving it at home and he said that because he texts a lot during the afternoon
and evening that the battery wasn’t always charged and sometimes he felt a bit
self-conscious about having one when not all his friends do. I said the way to
counter the low battery was to make placing it on the charger on his desk part
of his bedtime routine like brushing his teeth and that of all his friends I
could probably name less than a handful who didn’t have a cell phone so that
argument wasn’t going to fly. He confessed that he was getting a tonne of texts
during the day while in class from friends and hated having to deal with them
as he worried about getting in trouble. I said there was no law that required
him to respond to text messages right away and he was more than capable of
telling his friends not to text him during class as he wouldn’t respond until
lunch or after school.
My primary message was that I wanted that phone around him
in case, heaven forbid, there was ever a need for him to call 911 because some
psycho was roaming the halls randomly shooting through doors. He half laughed
and said that kind of stuff doesn’t happen here and I shouldn’t be so paranoid.
I looked him in the eyes and said I’m sure that is just what a lot of parents
thought when they sent their kids off to high school those fateful mornings in
Columbine, Colorado and Taber, Alberta. I told him that the subject wasn’t up
for debate and his mom and I had talked about it and agreed to present a united
front in the event he balked about it with us. I told him to look at my face
and ask himself if he thought he was seeing my joking around face or my “not
taking any crap” serious face right now. He looked and said he thought it
looked to him like I wanted to cry and I said part of me did as this is another
piece of innocence being stripped away from what should be some of the best
years of growing up that can never be replaced, that it made me sick to think
that when I drop him off in the morning I have to make sure to tell him I love
him on the outside chance that something horrible might happen.
Do I think that something as wicked and evil like Newtown
could happen in Ottawa? Not very likely but on the other hand I’m not willing
to take any chances when it comes to my son’s life and will do everything in my
power to protect him and give him every chance to grow up. I came close to
losing him once to a health issue that nobody knew about and won’t make the
same mistake with something I have some control over.
So I had the other talk with him and he’s been making sure
to charge his phone overnight and has it in his pocket when we leave for school
every morning. Hopefully someday we can get back to having the sex talk and he
can fill me in on everything I don’t know and should…..but the key is making
sure we can get to that point in time to have that talk.
My name is Marcus and I’m looking to date and hopefully meet
the One
I have a dog -- I don't dance
-- The dog will dance for treats
and attention -- the dog is a princess
and high maintenance but I still love her
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