How about some Clarity?

January 20/13

Today’s musical recommendation is “Why Can't I Have You?” by The Cars

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Recently I posted a blog answering a question about what it was I'm looking for in a partner and in it I mentioned some of the women I've had the good fortune to meet while spending time on the pond.

It seems like some people read that blog and somehow took my words and read into them that I've dated a lot of women and am basically some kind of man-whore who is on here to add some notches to my belt.

Reality is much different than what a lot of you may think.

I've been on my own since Feb '07 and did the numbers earlier today and was a little surprised to see I've gone out a total of 34 times with a different woman.

Now 34 might seem like a large number to some people but lets take a closer look.

I've been single for just under 71 months. During that time I've had 2 relationships that involved multiple dates and were monogamous.

So 34 dates over 71 months works out to one new person every 2 months. When we subtract the 10 months after my separation where I did not date let alone even talk to a female other than through work, the 8 months I was in the 2 previously mentioned relationships, and the 15 months I've taken myself off the market in order to recharge my mental batteries it is now 32 women over 38 months. The average drops to one new date every 1.2 months.

Not looking so much like a man-whore now am I?

The thing that stands out is that I have dated more than I thought, that I've always been respectful of those I've dated and never dated more than 1 woman at a time, and while I've not been able to meet the one I've actually been active in my search for her.

Now to me a man-whore is a guy who is looking to get laid and only get laid. I've had far more opportunities for that than I ever thought possible but I respect myself a tad bit more than to just jump into bed with anyone I might meet. I like being able to look my children in the eye and give them advice about life with a clear conscience and could not do that if I was the man-whore a few of you have declared me to be.

The ironic thing is that I've met several women on this site who have done multiple dates in the same day in order to meet guys in order to maximize free time given custody arrangements or work schedules and yet having never done that myself find I've been classed as some kind of womanizer. Interesting place this pond can be at times.

Now this posting may come across as a little angry and that is probably more true than I'd like to admit but no one, myself included, likes to see their reputation or intent impugned.

I am looking for the "ONE". That means I'm going to put myself out there and meet people. Maybe I'll get lucky and meet her soon but since I'm a realist I'm not going to panic if it means a date a month or even a date every other week given my alternate week custody arrangement.

So given all the above maybe I'm just a regular guy hoping to meet the one who steals my heart and gets me off the pond - isn't that why you are here?

My name is Marcus and I'm looking for the One.