The Year in Review

Saturday, December 31st, 2016

So this year ends for me like it began, with snow falling and me contemplating what life has brought me, taken from me, and possibly offers me if I'm only willing to reach out and grab that brass ring.

It's currently 12:45pm EST and snow has been softly falling for several hours now making a wonderful picture outside my front window. The son is cleaning up and we'll be heading out for a late breakfast before I drive him over to a New Years party at a friends house later this evening. The plan is for him to sleepover but I'll be ready to do the designated driver thing later should those plans change, like they usually do.

So over the course of the next few hours I'll be writing the last blog entry for 2016. You can bet house money that there will be many edits done to it before the final version is posted, there are even small odds the final posting won't happen before midnight but that's ok as there are far more enjoyable things to be doing at the strike of midnight than reading this blog.

And yes my mind went there and so should yours this time as it's the end of the year and what better activity is there to do than that with your special someone.......

So onwards to my State of the Union for 2016. The year just passed was filled with far more good times and highlights than not but it still seemed to feel somewhat empty for most of the year.

The State of the Economy

 

2016 saw me end one job and begin another almost immediately, much to the satisfaction of my bank accounts.

In some ways 2016 was a repeat of 2015 in terms of one position ending and another opportunity presenting itself. The big difference this time around was that I was better positioned financially and emotionally to deal with the sudden news that my company had been bought by a U.S. based competitor. They kept two people full time and offered the rest of us transition contracts that made it financially worthwhile to hang around for the desired 6 months, six months that ended up getting extended by another month when they realized there were some statutory audits to complete that were not going to get done by September 30th.

Besides the payout from agreeing to stay through the transition I learned a lot about how to actually manage such a transition in the future should I ever have to do one myself. I really should say I learned what not to do in a transition as it seemed like anything the new company could do wrong they did, almost as if it was an attempt to try every one's patience. It's kind of almost funny as I thought the company that came in and bought my old employer, the one I exited in 2015, really screwed the pooch in how they handled things but I can now honestly say they aced the process compared the recent process I went through.

I was extremely lucky in that my CFO from my previous employer started a new job himself and within a matter of days knew he needed to beef up his staff and reached out to me to see if I had found anything new yet as he knew about the sale of my employer and pending job search.

Over the course of two phone calls we worked out a position for me and the parameters of my employment that I was told by my people and cultures contact on my start date were the fastest they've ever created in the history of the organization.

So far I've been there for about 11 weeks and while I'm crazy busy I'm also loving every minute of it as I much prefer busy over bored any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

Somehow I managed to get a small boost in wages but the kicker was that they offer a pension that is more than generous with the company contributing 2x what I do to my plan. So can't beat that and I don't see any reason why I'll be thinking about leaving - work is interesting, pay is good, benefits are excellent, and the office is down in the Glebe so lots to do at lunch.

Even better is that now I can shift the money I was sending to my RRSP to my son's RESP and should be able to meet my target by this time next year for his university requirements.

I'm giving some serious thought to selling my house in the spring and buying something a tad bit newer in a new development going up in my area. If my initial calculations are correct than I should be able to walk away with a bit of a nest egg and a better house with a garage. There is a bit more research to do and I'll keep you updated as things progress.

All in all, I'd say that coming off of back to back years in which my position was eliminated, I'm doing pretty damn good. My bank balance is good and I've set myself up to continue to see marked improvements in my position year over year.

The State of Domestic Affairs

 

The year saw some firsts that made me begin to feel my age and yet also revitalized me in such a way that actually left me feeling years younger than I am.

My son earned his G1 license and broke one more string that somewhat bound him to his parents. It reminded me on just how much my own life changed when that new found freedom came my way many more years than I care to admit too. He's been a very consciousness driver and not let himself get talked into becoming the taxi service for all of his friends. Something it took his sister a lot longer to grasp and maybe he remembered some of those discussions, really arguments, his mother and I had with her about those kinds of activities.

I was able to continue keeping my bond strong with him by just being there when he needed someone to talk to without being judgmental about the things he wanted to talk about. It's almost sad that anyone can be a parent but you've got to get a license to drive a boat or snowmobile these days.

My relationship with my daughter seemed to grow stronger over the course of the year and I really can't pinpoint a reason for it other than maybe we both learned to be a bit more patient with one another. Though she is not my daughter biologically she has far more of me in her than anyone thought possible, prove positive that DNA is not the sole basis for establishing parentage.

She has my competitive streak inside her, maybe too much as sometimes I've wondered who the real alpha is when we are on a soccer pitch. My son's own competitive nature seems to have picked up a bit itself as he wasn't willing to put up with as much goofing around during soccer practises as he has in the past, even going so far this past summer to tell me it was time I reverted to my former coaching style in order to right the ship lol

I enjoyed my season coaching his team but really think deep down inside that my days as a coach are over and done with as I didn't have the same motivation I've had in seasons past, finding myself watching the games, and him, more than I was coaching the players.

The biggest change on the domestic front was the arrival of baby Jack. I think it is safe to say that that little boy has completely stolen his grandfathers heart. Nothing can make me smile more than getting a random text from my daughter with a picture or video of him.

It's funny that when I think of my children I almost always have a particular image in mind, my daughter running down the sidewalk from her aunts house in '94 to see me for the very first time or teaching her to ride a bike in '94 and my son sitting in the living room when he was about a year old in nothing more than a diaper holding my putter and smiling at his mother as she took a picture of that moment.

Now here is my daughter a mother of her own and my son soon heading off to university. The times may have changed but my devotion to my family will never wane. If my Latin is correct than the words I choose to live by would be Fides et familia

State of Foreign Affairs

This one is the easiest and yet most painful to contemplate and present.

For the truth be told there were no foreign affairs of any kind in the past year. I spent the first part of the year attempting to understand my mistake with C and than heal from it. I'd say I'm about 90% of the way there and getting better each day that passes. I still have far too many reminders of her happening around me on a daily basis but the saying that time heals all wounds is a good one as it's true, just sometimes it seems to take more time to heal than you'd like. But thems the cards we're dealt so no need to cry over them, just go ahead and play the hand you are dealt and make the most of the results.

I have gone out on a few meet and greets, can't come to call them dates as none where more than a drink and some chat, without anything developing, least on my end. I've got my profile up on one dating site but not really paying it much attention as it just seems like an exercise in futility on my part right now.

C and my ex set the bar pretty high when it comes to intelligence, beauty, compassion, and that overall hard to define feeling of "it"

If I end up never really feeling that connection with another woman it won't be the end of things for me as I consider myself pretty damn fortunate to have been in love with two amazing women in my life and to have somehow hood winked them into loving me back.

Now I'm not saying I'm not open to falling in love again but it's going to take a lot to get me to open myself up once again and be so vulnerable. The rather ironic thing is that with one of those women the door has been closed for years by mutual consent and the other could come back into my life and I'd embrace her once more as if no time has passed between us. Of course that won't be happening as she has moved on as well but the truth is that she possessed my heart the most of anyone I've ever  been with, more than I thought at the time, and that is what has made it so difficult to move on as it wouldn't be fair to anyone I meet as there is no way they could ever come close to measuring up to what makes me feel deep inside the way this woman did, does, and could.

The State of Me

Wasn't sure really how to phrase this section but since it's basically about me that header seems good enough.

My health was good for most of the year with the only real blip being the back surgery I had back in June that took me a bit longer to recover from that I originally anticipated.

I have not always been the most patient person around nor the most outgoing but think that really changed this year as I can't recall losing my temper this year and had some comments made to me at the new job complimenting me for always seeming to be in a good mood. I don't know how true that is but I've been trying hard not to let things get me down as much as I used too.

Again this is partially the influence of being with C as she was really good at reminding me that my life is pretty damn good compared to a lot of people around the world, in essence making me open my eyes to what I have here and now and not being so worried about what I don't have.

I'd say the biggest change this year came in my golf game, you didn't think I'd fail to mention my addiction now did you.

The back issue forced me to slow down my swing and lessen the pressure I was placing on my lower back that was coming from the quick shift in my hips as I transitioned from the back swing to the fore swing. I think I lost about 20-25 yards but was able to keep the ball on a more playable flight line.

Pre-surgery I was shooting mid 90's and slowly creeping closer to my targeted handicap of 18. As I began to feel more comfortable post surgery I was able to push the speed envelope and regain those lost yards without giving up any of the ball control I'd established, resulting in a few sub 90 rounds and moving my handicap down from around a 26 to a decent 19 on average.

The season was far too short for me and that comes after still managing to play around 60 rounds this past season. The one thing I missed was my caddy at Pembroke and Roanoke up in the valley :-)

I love my Ping G30's but found something was missing with the Ping Driver I bought myself a few years back and made the move to the Nike Vapour with standard flex graphite shaft - holy crap did that make a huge difference, going from about 220 off the tee to around 245-260 on most drives. I also started to use my fairway woods more and noticed a huge difference in my distances. My son and daughters fiancé combined to buy me the 3 wood and 3 hybrid in the Nike Vapour line and now I'm literally salivating for the season to start.

I'm giving some serious thought to driving down to Myrtle Beach this March when my son is in Europe for the Spring Break and getting in as many rounds as I can in the course of a weeks play, figuring I can leave on a Friday right from work and get down there sometime on Sunday, play that afternoon and every day for the next 5 days and than leave Saturday morning and be back in Ottawa for Sunday night. Sounding better and better to me as I've got nothing else going on and it might be the perfect reward for surviving the year end audit at work that will just be closing out.


So now you have my state of the union. Probably not as good as the one Obama will do for the last time next month or the one Trump will attempt to do in 2018.

But it is a capsule of my recent year, both the good and the bad, for better or worse.

My hope is that 2017 continues just like the year that is ending did with one exception, I have someone special in my life who makes me smile just by thinking of her.

Reminder that closed doors can still be opened, even the locked ones if you just remember to use the right key.......

My name is Marcus and I hope you enjoy reading these posts as much as I enjoy writing them. Cheapest form of therapy I could ever hope to utilize in my life.

I hope each of you has a very Happy New Years Eve and find that which you are seeking in 2017.

My last musical suggestion for 2016 is "If I Get High" by Nothing But Thieves and comes courtesy of my son as it was one he played for me today as we were driving to get breakfast. I've got to say I love that boys varied taste in music more and more each day....just more proof that he's so mine

A Random Question from My Son

Saturday, December 31/16

Rihana's "Please Don't Stop the Music" is my morning jam today.

So in an earlier blog I commented about doing one about my son and how I know he's mine.

Well it is a work in progress as there are so many ways I know that boy is mine that go far and beyond what any blood test could prove, should I even have to think about one which I don't.

I think we can all agree that my mind works in mysterious ways given some of my blog topics, I'm willing to bet the majority of you wonder just what the hell  goes on in the deep and darker corridors that is my mind but trust me that is a trip you only want to undertake if there is a guide as that place scares the crap out of me some days and I'm the proprietor.

So last night I'm sitting on the couch reading a book while listening to some music when my son comes out of his room during a break in the Rocket League tournament he's playing online with some of his friends to get a snack and drink. I really don't pay much attention as my book is pretty good and I've got Moki the Wonder Puppy curled up in my lap so between that and having my son over the world is doing right by me.

He grabs the remainder of the baguette and sliced cheese along with some water and heads back to his room when he stopped at the couch and without even any facial movement asks me in a very matter of fact voice "Do you ever wonder who would win between Predator and Kevin from the Home Alone movies?" and before even hearing my response continues on his way back to finish dominating his buddies.

I paused and thought about it for a moment and than went back to scratching the dogs ear and seeing how the protagonist in my book was going to fare.

About an hour later the question came back to the surface and I sort of laughed out loud at how it is exactly the kind of thing that I would ponder at some point when my mind had a down moment. It made me think back to all of the off the wall questions he's asked me over the years and how each was actually a pretty cool question when one took a moment to think about it.

Case in point with this latest query, how would a small adolescent child do against a battle hardened blood thirsty alien whose sole aim in life was the hunt. When you really think about it the question is age old and can be reviewed against historical results: David vs. Goliath, Sparta vs. Persia, England vs. Napoleon, and Israel vs. The Arab League.  All are resplendent with the little guy prevailing over a noted superior power.

But this is just a question about two movie characters from established franchises right?

You'd like to think so but knowing my son as I do there was a real question there and one he was expecting me to answer at some point.

Once more I went back to my book and tending the dog lest she show her displeasure by harrumphing at me like she has recently taken to doing when I'm not doing something she expects me to do. Still trying to figure out how she learned to communicate her feelings to me and/or how I came to understand them so completely lol

Now as time passed I could sense my son getting anxious to hear my response but decided to be mean and make him wait for a bit.

Around midnight I decided it was time for this old man to hit the sheets and get some beauty sleep so I tidied up briefly and headed off to my room. As I passed the doorway to my son's room I saw him look up and smile at me but didn't say a word to him. Sometimes the slow torture is so rewarding :)

I went to brush my teeth and wash my face.

As I headed back to my room I paused at his door and simply said "Give Kevin an hours prep time and I'd pick him to win" and saw him thinking that over as I closed his door.

An hour later my cell chirped me out of a light sleep to tell me that I had a text message.

"I agree and wonder if he'd even need the hour prep time"

followed by another

"Can't wait till baby Jack is old enough to watch those with me"

I smiled and texted him back

"Careful what you wish for as he just might view you as the predator and respond accordingly"

All I heard after that was his laugh and I could picture his smile as he imagined matching wits with his nephew in the years to come.........as much as I love my son I'm going to go out and say right now my money is on his nephew to win any future battles.........I mean how can that kid lose given he has both his mother and grandfather's DNA lurking just under the surface of what my son views as a calm pool of  water.............

My name is Marcus and these are my  continuing adventures at being a parent, friend, co-worker, new grandfather, and maybe even the special one to someone.

P.S. still to come later today is the official state of the union :-)

Merry Christmas

Sunday, December 25th, 2016

I would like to wish each and every one of my followers a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday's!!

I've been up since 7am and in the last few hours Moki and I have been for a walk, tidied up the house, set out the service and cutlery for Christmas dinner, and are now awaiting the onslaught that will be my daughter, her fiancé, my grandson, their dogs, and my son.

It's going to be a great time, we're sure to get a bit loud as we laugh and joke with one another, watch the dogs fight over toys, each has one under the tree from yours truly, and make comments on the gifts we've given one another.

Along the way my daughter will hug me and tell me she's sure that grandma, my mom, is looking out over all of us and smiling as she watches her great grandson sleep quietly with the new stuffed polar bear his grandpa gave him.

My son will come up to me at some point and simply hug me and tell me he loves me and is lucky to have me as his father, where the truth is just the opposite as I'm the lucky one to have two amazing children who bring me so many smiles and laughs.

Christmas isn't about the exchange of gifts, it's about sharing the time with those important to you and reminding oneself that even in our darkest hours there are people who love us for us and would do anything for us.......

My biggest wish is that you are able to share the holidays with those you love.

This Christmas will be extra special for me due to the arrival of my early gift in the form of Baby Jack :-)

As my kids open gifts you'll find me holding him and softly kissing his cheek, whispering to wait till next year little man and see how spoiled we'll all make you feel with our love first and foremost.

Please take a moment and say a silent prayer for those unable to be with loved ones due to circumstances out of their control.

A special prayer and warm thoughts to those manning the wall of freedom on this day, keeping us safe in our homes while they are thousands of miles away from home and family.

I'll be sending those wishes to one special person up in the valley and hoping she is able to enjoy some well deserved time off with her sons and parents.

Christmas comes but once a year but wouldn't it be nice if the spirit could be shared year round......

Marcus

Update: so my daughter gave me a picture of baby Jack from the photo shoot she just had done last week where he is resting in her cupped hands in a frame of an amazing bleached wood and I admit I started crying right away.....she asked me what was wrong and all I could do was shake my head and say it was the most beautiful gift I've ever received.......amazing how one little baby can change one's outlook on life and the possibilities to offers

Beauty comes to us in many forms......

Saturday, December 24th, 2016

As I was getting ready to write a holiday message on my Facebook account I noticed a link a friend had posted about a rendition of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" and I clicked on it to listen.

If you don't feel tears at some point while watching and listening to this video than there is something wrong with you and I beseech you to seek immediate mental health assistance, I kid you not wit this comment.

Give a listen and have a reminder that beauty truly does come to us from in many forms....

http://www.edge.ca/syn/123/26265/10-year-old-girl-with-autism-sings-leonard-cohens-hallelujah-and-its-breathtaking

Marcus

P.S. the Christmas blog entry is still to come so don't fret

Christmas Holiday

Monday, December 19/16

So this year is the very first time in my working career that I'll be at a company that closes down between Christmas and New Years and lets everyone have the time off with pay.

The funny thing is that I have absolutely no plans for that week and feel like fate is sort of laughing at me because of that.......

Back in 2014 when C and I started dating she talked about maybe going somewhere but I was in the middle of a transition at work and didn't think I could get the time off and was a little nervous about taking a trip as we'd literally just started dating so it didn't happen until she put her foot down and said we were going on a holiday during March break in 2015.  One of the best weeks of my life!

Last year at the start of fall during one of my visits to her place she mentioned how she almost booked us a trip to Mexico over Christmas as a surprise but didn't as she wasn't sure if I'd be able to get the time off given I'd only been at that company since June.  Guess in hindsight it worked out well for her as things went off the rail the next month and one can only imagine how tough that trip might have been.......just kidding, we'd have had a blast as I'm a total party animal.....still kidding, she'd have been able to replace me without a hitch lol

So here I am this year and I'm actually able to take off and have nobody in my life I'd be willing to go away with.....if that's not case of Karma laughing her ass off at me I don't know what it

Now I can hear some of you giggling and that's ok.......I mean if I can't laugh at myself and these kinds of situations than I don't have any right to be blogging about things do I?

I start my holiday's this Friday as I booked it off in order to get some servicing done on the car and get Moki in for a wash and cut. The princess has to look her best for the family when they come over on Christmas morning. Both my son and I are really curious to see how she reacts to baby Jack. He thinks she's going to curl up next to him and be protective and I think she's going to be a little confused and either come sit next to me or go and see if she can get a snuggle out of my daughter. Whatever she ends up doing is bound to be cute and cause lots of laughs.

Since I'll be solo on Christmas Eve I'll be going to midnight mass at the parish down in Fallowfield as I love the old stone church and the amazing setup inside. When mass ends I'll head home and before retiring for the night I'll raise a drink and toast my family and friends before snuggling under the covers for a long winters nap.........

On Christmas day I know at some point I'll silently wish my mom a happy birthday and hope she is looking down to watch over her grandchildren and great grandson, maybe even that brat she raised as well.

The week will fly by faster than I'll expect and I'll not do as much as I originally hoped to do but that will be ok as long as I get some time with my family and a few moments to reflect on life.

Hopefully you'll be surrounded by family and friends as well.

Maybe one of you will be somewhere farther south on a beach and raise a drink in my honour :)

Marcus

Btw....I found the perfect gift for her and without even thinking bought it only to realize as I left the store that I wouldn't be seeing her to give her the gift......kind of funny how sometimes the heart just takes over and you act without even thinking...........looks like she'll be finding a box on her desk when she gets back to the office in the new year lol

Trailer teaser

Saturday, December 17/16

Thought I'd give you a little preview of some upcoming posts to whet your appetite.

• The Year in Review - if it's good enough for Trudeau or Obama it's more than good enough for me!

• Spider Webs

• Parenting - no manual included

• My WTF moment at Jack Astors

• My Son, so mine I'll never need a DNA test to confirm it

I'm off work the week between Christmas and New Years as our office closes and it's my intention to get caught up on some sleep, exercise, and the blog.

Btw...that last one isn't derived from anyone questioning my parentage but more from comments he makes to me that just remind me of how much of me is in him,,...,,poor kid ;-)

Charity........

Thursday, December 15/16

So last weekend was my bachelor weekend in that my son was scheduled to be with his mom thus making this guy carefree and single. Of course anyone who has been following this little adventure through the deep and dark recesses of that which I call my mind knows I'm never not in dad mode, least in how I view myself....once a parent, always a parent.

Anyways, I made arrangements to take my son Christmas shopping after his soccer game on Saturday as the arrival of baby Jack last Wednesday sort of through a wrench in our plans to go shopping after I got home from work one night during the week.

My son scored only his 3rd goal of the season in his teams 7th win in 8 games and boy was it a doozy!  It was a form of a roundhouse kick that just happened out of the blue. It was so amazing I actually did a double take and looked at his mom and asked her if I really saw what I thought I saw and she said she was going to ask me the same question. Both teams literally stopped playing and looked at him as if he'd just walked through a blazing fire with nary a mark on him.

Once the game ended we headed off to Bayshore Shopping Centre to get our shopping on!

After parking and entering the mall on the third level we were passing the Moxie's and my son noticed there was an English Premier League game on inside and seeing him pause I asked if he wanted to go in and get some lunch before we hit the stores and much to my surprise he agreed.

We had a great meal of steak and eggs and even better was the easy and casual conversation we shared with one another. No major revelations came forward but it was relaxing and was one of these moments that I think go along way in keeping that bond open between a parent and teenager. I think he understands that I'm always there for him and there isn't anything he can't talk to me about.

We finished our meal and I closed out the bill before we went forth to bravely do battle with the crowds in the mall, two men on a mission to get it down in one clean sweep.

My son was there to find gifts for his mom, sister, and sister's fiance, with me shopping for the daughter, her fiance, while keeping an eye on anything that might catch his attention.

Two hours later and he was done, I was mostly done, and had a few thoughts for things to get him after taking note of some reactions he had to things while we shopped.

We had started on the third level and worked our way down to the ground floor as we checked things off our lists. Having finished off with some soccer related items for his sister, who says she will be playing indoor come the beginning of February, we called it a day and went to find the escalator that would take directly from the ground floor back to the 3rd floor. As we rode it up I took the opportunity to comment to my son that the mall wasn't as crowded as I thought it would be and we made really good time as it was only around 2pm. He looked at me and said that couldn't be right as it felt to him like it had to be much later than that but once he checked his phone he shook his head and just smiled at me.

As we got to the top my son noticed the Salvation Army volunteer gently ringing her bell as she stood next to her kettle, the majority of people passing her by without a second glance, only occasionally  would someone stop to toss some change in the kettle. In one of those moments that remind me my son has a good level head on his shoulder and will always do the right thing he walked over to the kettle and without saying or a word pulled all the cash in his wallet out and placed it in the kettle before turning to the lady and saying "Thank you" and then walking over to where I was standing.

The lady looked in the kettle and than turned to look at me with a smile and teary eyes as she mouthed "thank you" to me. I smiled and nudged him as we headed back to the exit, asking what made him do that. He kept looking ahead but I could tell he was a bit teary eyed as he replied "I have a good life thanks to you and mom and it just feels right to share with those less fortunate whenever I can"

He asked me why it seemed like the holiday season was the only time we notice things like the Salvation Army kettles or hear the public service announcements for places like the Ottawa Food Bank and Ottawa Mission.

I thought about that as we put the bags in the trunk and responded as we were getting back into the car.

"This time of year brings out feelings in people that aren't normally present the rest of the time. Our hearts are more full of compassion and understanding, we tend to be more open to the needs of others and do more about it, sometimes out of a sense of social responsibility, like you just did, but more often than not out of a sense of guilt about what we have that others don't, and sometimes as a form of paying it forward insurance".

Now that last one confused the hell out of him and before he could ask me to explain what I meant I preempted him by answering the follow up question before it was even asked.

"Most people don't have huge amounts of money saved and if they really looked hard at their finances would know they are probably no more than 2-3 missed pay cheques from being in dire straits"

I let that sink in before asking him how much he thought I needed each month to live the life we do or how much his mom needed. I'll give him credit as he didn't just toss out a number but actually went over what he thought I paid each month. He wasn't close but he tried and that is part of the teaching moment I was striving for at that moment.

I let him know the real number and could see the wheels turning as he digested it.

"9" was my next words to him

He looked over at me more than a little confused

"9 months" were my next words

"I don't understand, what do you mean 9 months?"

"That is how long my savings would last me without any income coming in"

He pondered that and asked if I worried about money.

I smiled and said yes and no. I don't think about it every day but do keep an eye on my spending as not only did I have to meet my day to day expenses but also save for his education and now put some aside for his new nephew and my grandson, baby Jack.

As we got home and started to unload the car he asked if I donated money and why.

I told him I did and through a payroll deduction to the United Way and also made contributions through the year to various other charities like the Ottawa Mission and Ottawa Food Bank. That I didn't do so as any kind of Karma insurance but because it's the right thing to do as sometimes a person just needs a hand to get back on their feet and there was nothing wrong with needing that hand as it didn't mean a person was a failure or lazy as a lot of people like to think.

He asked me how much I gave and I smiled and said that was between me and my conscience, but it was the right amount for our family. He hugged me and told me he was proud to be my son.

It's funny how doing the right thing brings one rewards that you can't put a price on.

My name is Marcus and sometimes life gives us a chance to change who we are, I'd like to think I'm taking advantage of as many of them as I can but in the end my goal is really just to be a good father, friend, and maybe partner to my one................

Welcome to my world baby Jack

Thursday, December 7th, 2016

Today at approximately 10:57am Jack Aaron made his way into the world and my heart.

He came in weighing 6.4 pounds and a little more than 3 weeks early due to some complications with both my daughter and grandson. I am more than happy to say both mother and child are doing wonderful but for a brief moment it was kind of nerve wracking to say the least.

Don't think I've seen so many smiles as I did this morning waiting to hear how things were going and getting the word that he had made his arrival and promptly gone to sleep. My son commented that he has an early start on those teenage years where sleep is everything.

Because he was born through an emergency C section it meant that either mom or dad has to be present whenever a family member goes into the baby center to see him. L, my daughters fiancé, took my son to see his nephew for the first time and when he walked back to the recovery room you could see his eyes watering up and all he said was "He's incredible" and hugged both his mother and I. He tried to wipe his eyes but his mom smiled at him and said "Your father has already cried tears of happiness so go ahead and let your own out" He turned to look at me and I laughed and said "Hell, I was crying on the walk down the hallway to find the baby unit" and then proceeded to feel more wetness on my cheeks as I thought about the amazing thing my daughter just did.

Life is sure to be more interesting over the coming years as baby Jack, my nickname for him, grows up and reminds all of his family what the innocence and joy of youth looks like over and over.

I have violated my rule on using names by saying my grandson's name but special moments call for some rule breaking don't you agree.

My name is Marcus and my grandson already has me wrapped around his awesome little fingers

What is Dating?

Saturday, December 03/16

I was listening to the Morning Hot Tub on Hot 89.9 on my drive into work yesterday and heard an interesting statistic that got me to thinking.

Mauler said that eHarmony had recently done a study that showed single people on average dated six people at the same time!!

Now as I listened to this it sort of pissed me off as I was thinking who was the SOB that was dating my 6 potential partners and thus depriving me of their company but then came the twist, you just know there had to be a twist with me involved right?

eHarmony says dating defined in the here and now includes text only relationships and not the old standard definition of actually meeting someone face to face for a series of activities like drinks, a movie, dinner, or walking the dog. No, that last one isn’t some code for making nasty, get your mind out of the gutter as I'm trying to broaden my target market for the blog, my former marketing professors at SDSU would be proud that I'm actually using some of the materials they tried so hard to impart to me over the course of my studies.

So my question is do you consider a text only relationship to actually be dating?

I can see if you are in a long distance relationship how texting can be part of the process you employ to keep things fresh and on the go but in and of itself  texting only seems to a real stretch of the definition of dating in my mind.

Maybe that is a generational thing on my part given my age but I'd like to think I'm open minded enough to give all possibilities a fair shake before making my mind up one way or another. In this approach I can thank the last two women who really meant anything to me for giving me some insight in how to approach and deal with life. That saying that you can't teach an old dog new tricks is complete bullshit, this old dog learned more tricks over the past ten years than he cares to count.

One advantage that was noted for the text only relationship is that when that connection is no longer there that you can ghost the other person and vanish when you want things to be over without the usual drama associated with breaking up with someone face to face or over the phone.

Can you really develop and feel that kind of connection from just texting so much that you actually think you are in a real relationship?

People are visual creatures, men especially so, and I don't think I could ever see myself meeting someone through a text site and developing feelings for them that I could ever put on the same level that I have when seeing someone face to face....there is just something intrinsic to being able to sit across from that person while sharing brunch and seeing the twinkle in her eyes when you are talking. The ability to reach over and touch hands can never be replaced by the click of a keyboard nor could the sound of her laugh when you have one of those rare witty moments be surpassed by the sound of an incoming text.

No, in my rather small world I'm going to go out on a limb, a rather strong one I hope given I'm still working on my pear shape, and say that any relationship that is based entirely on texting is not a real relationship and therefore can't be considered dating.

Texting can be part of the process, along with telephone calls, but it can't the only medium used to develop or sustain a dating relationship. I've used both in the past but as part of a real relationship that involved us actually coming into physical contact with one another, and once more let me remind you to get your mind out of the gutter as I didn't mean making the beast with two backs....ok, this time I did mean it that way lol

So how do you define dating and would you ever be tempted to just have a text only relationship with someone? Nope, not an offer to exchange cell numbers folks but nice try lol

My name is Marcus and I like to date in the here and now with some eye contact.

It feels like it has been awhile since I made a musical suggestion so give a listen to "Perfectly Perfect" by Simple Plan........the title says it all and than some

It's My Blog...........

Thursday, December 01/16

So just a reminder to the couple of Internet trolls who bashed me for my recent blog entry........

It's my blog.

That means I am the sole contributor, copyright editor, and final authority on what makes it to print.

That means I write what I want, when I want, for whom I want.

I will not submit content for pre-screening. Not now, not ever.

I write to please myself and maybe help someone else who might be facing some of the same things I am as a single parent, friend. co-worker, or even romantic partner.

I write as it is the cheapest form of therapy available. Trust me on this one, we've all needed some type of therapy at one moment or another in our lives. When I find the blog isn't cutting it for me in that department I go and talk to someone. I'm not so macho as to think I never need it or it's not for me, any help is good help.

If you don't like my blog or any of the postings than I have a very simple solution for you. STOP READING IT!

I'm not paid to post entries nor do I receive any form of compensation. I do it because it makes me feel good inside and helps me deal with life's little ups and downs.

The topics I choose come at me randomly more often than not, but sometimes I blog about how I'm feeling, whether it's something awesome like learning I'm going to be a grandfather or something kind of sad like being in love but no longer loved.

So I'm just going to keep on blogging and let you decide if you'd like to read it or not. Really no skin off my back either way.

Keep in mind that future blogs could be about C, could be about how woeful my beloved ManU is playing, my inability to consistently hit my driver farther than 220 yards, or something as mundane as why do all the leaves in my neighbourhood seem to end up in my driveway.

So having said my piece and now feeling less angry at the Internet trolls let me wish each of you  a goodnight and many happy days to come.

Marcus the merry blogger