Tuesday, January 30/18
So Sunday's discussion with the kids went far better than I had any hope of and while my daughter was a bit miffed, mostly at her mom it turns out for not telling her when she knew, they seemed to take the news really well.
There were some tears and a few laughs, like when my daughter said she'd bet her husband that I was going to tell them I had a new girlfriend....talk about wishful thinking lol
My son has been giving me hugs every time he sees me now and my daughter has been online doing research and sending me links to cancer sites and a support group for those times I might not want to talk about things with the family, not that she hasn't reassured me that she's there for me 24/7 :-)
As to the promised Mexico posting..............
Turns out the damn thing is too big so I'm now working on cutting it down into a post covering each day we were there as that seems really more manageable :)
So you can expect Day One by end of day tomorrow. Day One will really cover from Thursday night to Saturday as it makes sense to combine those days since they sort of ran together.
Marcus
P.S. I'd like to thank all of you for the wonderful messages of support :-)
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
Saturday, January 27, 2018
Mexico Blog is Pending.......
Saturday, January 27/18
Apologies on not getting the promised entry about my week in Mexico posted last weekend but I had some stuff come up that sort of derailed me mentally.
Turns out I had forgotten to take my phone off of airplane mode and didn't notice it till Sunday, once I corrected that I had some messages in my voicemail that I had to process.
First one, and the big one, was a call from my doctor telling me I had an appointment booked with the oncology department at the QCH to review my situation. The kicker to this is that I haven't even had my surgery yet and we still have no clue if my tumor is benign or malignant. This sort of got cleared up when I checked my mail box and found some documents from the doctor that outlined my condition, possible course of treatment, and post surgical recovery. I knew going in that I was having surgery no matter what my upcoming CT scan shows and now it appears that they are planning on flooding my system with one of two drugs (BCG or Mitomycin) during the surgery before they even get the results of the biopsy back, guess this is one of those offensive defensive measures they are taking.
My week of peace and relaxation came to crashing halt with that voicemail, as you can imagine.
Not the most reassuring fact to process about seeing oncology before even having surgery but it does go along with my revised approach to this whole mess..........I was going on the best possible outcome of each stage so far and each time I've been bent over and royally fucked so now I'm taking the extreme position that I have the big C and thus nothing they tell me can shock me or make me upset.
Now don't think that means I've given up, far from it my friends, you are my friends right? lol.
No, now it just means I won't let myself get down when something untoward happens and can focus on beating the shit out of this and looking forward to celebrating when I win!!! I know exactly what I'm doing when that happens........Iberostar Playa Mita!!!!!!
The other message I got that wasn't all that expected came on Tuesday when I was working from home due to the bad freezing rain we were experiencing.
Another call from my doctors office telling me I now have a surgical date booked for early March. Well her exact words were "tentative surgical date". After she outlined what was going to happen I asked what she meant by tentative as she had used that work every time she mentioned the surgery.
Her response was that it is tentative pending the result of my CT scan and not finding anything else, like more tumors in other parts of my body. They have another earlier date sort of penciled off in case the CT scan doesn't come back favourable to me. So based on my new approach I'm expecting it to happen end of February now.
That means more tumors but it also means I just get to kick some ass earlier!!!!
Along the way I've reached the decision that it is now time to sit down with my kids and tell them what is going on as I'm finding it almost as stressful keeping this hidden as I am in dealing with the ramifications to my own health. I talked this over with my ex and she agrees the time is right now that the wedding has passed and exams are over for my son.
I've made arrangements to have dinner at my daughters on Sunday and that is going to be when we sit down and talk about this. My daughter senses something is up as she has already texted her mom to ask what's going on with me and my son has been texting me more than usual this week.
I told my ex she can probably expect our daughter to call her Sunday night and probably the son as well and she said definitely the daughter will but the son will probably keep his feelings close to the vest, similar to how his father handles things. I think what is going to happen with him is that he's going to realize around 8-9pm that I've not been open and honest with him about things and than the proverbial shit is going to hit the fan at my place when he lets loose with some serious anger, well deserved as I have been lying to him but in my defense they've been lies of omission and not commission.
So now you are all up to date on the situation. Fingers crossed and wish me well tomorrow.
Marcus
P.S. I still owe you the entry about my week down Mexico way and promise to get it completed and posted in the next couple of days.
Apologies on not getting the promised entry about my week in Mexico posted last weekend but I had some stuff come up that sort of derailed me mentally.
Turns out I had forgotten to take my phone off of airplane mode and didn't notice it till Sunday, once I corrected that I had some messages in my voicemail that I had to process.
First one, and the big one, was a call from my doctor telling me I had an appointment booked with the oncology department at the QCH to review my situation. The kicker to this is that I haven't even had my surgery yet and we still have no clue if my tumor is benign or malignant. This sort of got cleared up when I checked my mail box and found some documents from the doctor that outlined my condition, possible course of treatment, and post surgical recovery. I knew going in that I was having surgery no matter what my upcoming CT scan shows and now it appears that they are planning on flooding my system with one of two drugs (BCG or Mitomycin) during the surgery before they even get the results of the biopsy back, guess this is one of those offensive defensive measures they are taking.
My week of peace and relaxation came to crashing halt with that voicemail, as you can imagine.
Not the most reassuring fact to process about seeing oncology before even having surgery but it does go along with my revised approach to this whole mess..........I was going on the best possible outcome of each stage so far and each time I've been bent over and royally fucked so now I'm taking the extreme position that I have the big C and thus nothing they tell me can shock me or make me upset.
Now don't think that means I've given up, far from it my friends, you are my friends right? lol.
No, now it just means I won't let myself get down when something untoward happens and can focus on beating the shit out of this and looking forward to celebrating when I win!!! I know exactly what I'm doing when that happens........Iberostar Playa Mita!!!!!!
The other message I got that wasn't all that expected came on Tuesday when I was working from home due to the bad freezing rain we were experiencing.
Another call from my doctors office telling me I now have a surgical date booked for early March. Well her exact words were "tentative surgical date". After she outlined what was going to happen I asked what she meant by tentative as she had used that work every time she mentioned the surgery.
Her response was that it is tentative pending the result of my CT scan and not finding anything else, like more tumors in other parts of my body. They have another earlier date sort of penciled off in case the CT scan doesn't come back favourable to me. So based on my new approach I'm expecting it to happen end of February now.
That means more tumors but it also means I just get to kick some ass earlier!!!!
Along the way I've reached the decision that it is now time to sit down with my kids and tell them what is going on as I'm finding it almost as stressful keeping this hidden as I am in dealing with the ramifications to my own health. I talked this over with my ex and she agrees the time is right now that the wedding has passed and exams are over for my son.
I've made arrangements to have dinner at my daughters on Sunday and that is going to be when we sit down and talk about this. My daughter senses something is up as she has already texted her mom to ask what's going on with me and my son has been texting me more than usual this week.
I told my ex she can probably expect our daughter to call her Sunday night and probably the son as well and she said definitely the daughter will but the son will probably keep his feelings close to the vest, similar to how his father handles things. I think what is going to happen with him is that he's going to realize around 8-9pm that I've not been open and honest with him about things and than the proverbial shit is going to hit the fan at my place when he lets loose with some serious anger, well deserved as I have been lying to him but in my defense they've been lies of omission and not commission.
So now you are all up to date on the situation. Fingers crossed and wish me well tomorrow.
Marcus
P.S. I still owe you the entry about my week down Mexico way and promise to get it completed and posted in the next couple of days.
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Bell Let's Talk January 31st
Sunday, January 21/18
So I'm just back from my week in Mexico and let me just say this.........it was Fue fantástico!!!!!
I've been working on a couple of entries about the week and might have the first one posted later today depending on how much unpacking and errands I can get done lol
Now for the basis of today's blog title............
January 31st is the annual Bell Let's Talk Day to promote awareness of mental health issues in Canada, and in my humble opinion one hell of an important day.
The goal is to get people to talk about the issues that impact each and every one of us with an open mind.
I recently read that something like 1 in 4 people suffer from a mental health issue of some kind. Those issues cover the spectrum from being a self conscious introvert who has issues dealing with public gatherings, paint me with this one, to schizophrenia, onward to forms of depression that range from the mild to so severe that the only way a person can deal with them is to self harm themselves in the hope that the pain eventually goes away.
We as a society are very judgmental about people in general and more so about those we don't consider similar to ourselves, one of the things I really dislike about how we've evolved or is it more devolved as a society, I'll let you be the judge of that for yourself as I'm sure there are some who don't see anything wrong with how we treat one another.
All I ask is that you keep an open mind that the people you see around you might be going through things that you have no clue about and are dealing with issues far greater than may be obvious so the greatest thing you can do for someone is smile, listen, and if the moment warrants it, offer a simple hug. I bet you'd be amazed at just how powerful those gestures might be for someone in need, how life altering they might prove at the moment.
My name is Marcus and I hope with all my heart I'm always aware regardless of the day of those around me and open to listening to them whenever they need me........................
Today's musical suggestion is "The Days of You" by Fallen Riveria
So I'm just back from my week in Mexico and let me just say this.........it was Fue fantástico!!!!!
I've been working on a couple of entries about the week and might have the first one posted later today depending on how much unpacking and errands I can get done lol
Now for the basis of today's blog title............
January 31st is the annual Bell Let's Talk Day to promote awareness of mental health issues in Canada, and in my humble opinion one hell of an important day.
The goal is to get people to talk about the issues that impact each and every one of us with an open mind.
I recently read that something like 1 in 4 people suffer from a mental health issue of some kind. Those issues cover the spectrum from being a self conscious introvert who has issues dealing with public gatherings, paint me with this one, to schizophrenia, onward to forms of depression that range from the mild to so severe that the only way a person can deal with them is to self harm themselves in the hope that the pain eventually goes away.
We as a society are very judgmental about people in general and more so about those we don't consider similar to ourselves, one of the things I really dislike about how we've evolved or is it more devolved as a society, I'll let you be the judge of that for yourself as I'm sure there are some who don't see anything wrong with how we treat one another.
All I ask is that you keep an open mind that the people you see around you might be going through things that you have no clue about and are dealing with issues far greater than may be obvious so the greatest thing you can do for someone is smile, listen, and if the moment warrants it, offer a simple hug. I bet you'd be amazed at just how powerful those gestures might be for someone in need, how life altering they might prove at the moment.
My name is Marcus and I hope with all my heart I'm always aware regardless of the day of those around me and open to listening to them whenever they need me........................
Today's musical suggestion is "The Days of You" by Fallen Riveria
Saturday, January 6, 2018
Time For A Little Confession........and it involves Noelle Adams
Saturday, January 06/18
So I guess it's time for a little confession on my part.
I'm a romantic at heart, believe in true love, the possibility of love at first sight, that love doesn't preclude feeling lust for your partner.
That's not the confession, that is just my feelings about love.
No, the confession is that I've recently started reading romance books, in particular those by Noelle Adams.
I'm on the fourth and final book in her "Rothman Royals" series and literally just started reading the first book on Tuesday at lunch.
I subscribe to a website called BookBub that sends me recommendations on a wide variety of books that are offered on Apple iBooks and Kobo. A lot of the time there are free books that are designed to introduce the reader to a new author. This was the case with "A Princess Next Door".
For some reason that I really can't explain I downloaded it and started to read it over my lunch as a break away from work and the cold weather. Five pages in and I was hooked, couldn't wait to get home and finish it, which I did on Tuesday night.
Something about the stories just resonate within me and makes me think that despite all the stuff going on with me and around the world that the possibilities are endless if we just allow ourselves to believe........believe in them and our own capacity to overcome obstacles and feel that spark, those ever elusive butterflies that we all want to feel inside.
I've been accused of being in touch with my inner feminine side and if this is further proof of it than so be it, Mea Culpa.
So if you are looking for a momentary escape and the hope that everything isn't bleak in the world than I suggest giving these a read.....I'm going to be moving onto some of her other series while lounging on that beach in Mexico next week
My name is Marcus and I am who I am and nothing more or less.
So I guess it's time for a little confession on my part.
I'm a romantic at heart, believe in true love, the possibility of love at first sight, that love doesn't preclude feeling lust for your partner.
That's not the confession, that is just my feelings about love.
No, the confession is that I've recently started reading romance books, in particular those by Noelle Adams.
I'm on the fourth and final book in her "Rothman Royals" series and literally just started reading the first book on Tuesday at lunch.
I subscribe to a website called BookBub that sends me recommendations on a wide variety of books that are offered on Apple iBooks and Kobo. A lot of the time there are free books that are designed to introduce the reader to a new author. This was the case with "A Princess Next Door".
For some reason that I really can't explain I downloaded it and started to read it over my lunch as a break away from work and the cold weather. Five pages in and I was hooked, couldn't wait to get home and finish it, which I did on Tuesday night.
Something about the stories just resonate within me and makes me think that despite all the stuff going on with me and around the world that the possibilities are endless if we just allow ourselves to believe........believe in them and our own capacity to overcome obstacles and feel that spark, those ever elusive butterflies that we all want to feel inside.
I've been accused of being in touch with my inner feminine side and if this is further proof of it than so be it, Mea Culpa.
So if you are looking for a momentary escape and the hope that everything isn't bleak in the world than I suggest giving these a read.....I'm going to be moving onto some of her other series while lounging on that beach in Mexico next week
My name is Marcus and I am who I am and nothing more or less.
Cold Doesn't Begin to Describe It!!!!
Saturday, January 06/18
We were hit with quite the cold spell about a week ago and again the last few days.
It's almost as if someone pissed off Mother Nature and her revenge has been daily temperatures with windchill in the minus 30's.
Every morning I get up and go outside to start the car so it has a chance to warm up and it is like I'm rolling the dice to see if it will actually kick over or if the battery was drained over night.
I'm willing to grant that some of you reading this entry will laugh and think it's colder where you are, like those reading in Russia as the blog has been getting quite a few hits over there lately, but that doesn't make it any less cold on my end.
I'm not huge on the whole 3 layer winter coat thing and usually just wear a golf pullover under the winter coat shell but I've actually added the liner to it and have been wearing thick gloves and a toque, something I almost never do.
Moki the wonder puppy has been giving me the look whenever I let her outside as if to say "You better not forget about me or leave me out here one second longer than is necessary buddy"
This weekend is predicted to be pretty cold and than it breaks for a bit on Monday and gets cold all over again. I'm not worrying about it as I'm leaving Friday for my daughters wedding down in Mexico and have my week planned out accordingly..........eat some good food, drink some cold beverages, sleep, lay on the beach or near the pool, play a round or two of golf, and give a toast at the wedding dinner and do the father and bride dance.
Hopefully it's warmer where you are or you've got someone special to cuddle up with for some warmth.
My name is Marcus and though I be cold I've got a warm heart and open mind.
We were hit with quite the cold spell about a week ago and again the last few days.
It's almost as if someone pissed off Mother Nature and her revenge has been daily temperatures with windchill in the minus 30's.
Every morning I get up and go outside to start the car so it has a chance to warm up and it is like I'm rolling the dice to see if it will actually kick over or if the battery was drained over night.
I'm willing to grant that some of you reading this entry will laugh and think it's colder where you are, like those reading in Russia as the blog has been getting quite a few hits over there lately, but that doesn't make it any less cold on my end.
I'm not huge on the whole 3 layer winter coat thing and usually just wear a golf pullover under the winter coat shell but I've actually added the liner to it and have been wearing thick gloves and a toque, something I almost never do.
Moki the wonder puppy has been giving me the look whenever I let her outside as if to say "You better not forget about me or leave me out here one second longer than is necessary buddy"
This weekend is predicted to be pretty cold and than it breaks for a bit on Monday and gets cold all over again. I'm not worrying about it as I'm leaving Friday for my daughters wedding down in Mexico and have my week planned out accordingly..........eat some good food, drink some cold beverages, sleep, lay on the beach or near the pool, play a round or two of golf, and give a toast at the wedding dinner and do the father and bride dance.
Hopefully it's warmer where you are or you've got someone special to cuddle up with for some warmth.
My name is Marcus and though I be cold I've got a warm heart and open mind.
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