Thursday, June 28/18
Back on June 16th I posed the question "What is love?"
I've received a lot of messages from readers trying to answer the question but the truth is that there is no correct answer for love is something different for each of us.
I've pondered this question for years and am no closer to a definitive answer today than I was ten years ago and am probably as close today to the answer as I'll be fifteen years from now.
Love is the riddle of life with no answer.....note that I don't say a correct answer nor a wrong answer, but rather no answer.
I think trying to answer that question is as easy as trying to describe the wind to someone using nothing but words. I don't think it's possible just as I don't think the answer to love rests in words either.
Love is like the wind, you can feel it across your cheeks as it gently blows in the late afternoon but try as you might, look around yourself as hard as you like, it still isn't visible to the naked eye. You know it's there but you can't reach out and put your hands around it. Love is very much like the wind.
Love resides in your mind, it resides it in your heart, and it resides deep inside your body.
It makes you want to cry with joy, it makes you want to cry with hurt, it makes you want shout out in frustration, and it makes you want to shout out to the world when you are madly lost deep within it's throes.
Love is chaos theory, anything is possible and yet nothing is possible.
Love is that vise like feeling around your heart when you think of that someone special. It the unbidden smile you feel when you think of them out of the blue or come across a reminder of them when you least expect it.
Love is butterflies when you look up and see them staring at you, it's the gentle touch of a hand as they pass by you in the kitchen, it's the annoyed look they give you when you are being a pain in the ass at the grocery store and asking if they need a price check on a personal hygiene item knowing you'll be paying for it later.
Love is doing something unasked just because you know it will make them feel good.
Love is foregoing your plans to be there for them when they need you, even when they don't ask or know that they need you with them at that moment.
Love is knowing it's okay to have interests and friends of your own, that you are not whole by being together 24/7, that time apart is as critical to the growth and development of the relationship as time as a couple.
Love sometimes means having to make tough decisions, one's that make your heart hurt but you know are for the best in the long run.
Love might mean ending a relationship before it's time so that the pain in the longer run is minimized for the other person , regardless of how much pain you feel in the here and now.
I used to love the line from Love Story where Ali McGraw tells Ryan O'Neal's character "Love means never having to say you're sorry" but over the years and a few stumbles along the way I've learned love really means being able to say you're sorry and meaning it from the bottom of your heart without holding in any repressed feelings or resentment.
There are a tonne of definitions on what is love but I think the only one that counts is the one you feel inside you, the one that makes you want to be with someone through thick and thin, the one that doesn't make it easy to put them aside but rather makes you want to be the best person you can for them.
My name is Marcus and I've truly loved two women in my life. One is the mother of my children and to this day one of my best friends and the other is the one who really made me see the world around myself and want to be a better person for her and myself.
Thursday, June 28, 2018
Tuesday, June 19, 2018
Hero's Come in Many Shapes and Forms
Tuesday, June 19/18
I was out driving to an appointment today and noticed quite a few groups of students out on field trips and it reminded me of a conversation I'd had with my neighbor Carrie, who is a grade school teacher, that the school year is winding down and made me think of teachers I've had in the past who left an impression on me.
My grade three teacher Mr. Horn was the first of several who saw something in me and didn't give up when I wasn't quite ready to be the student I could be. Given that I work with numbers on a daily basis it might come as a bit of a surprise to learn I hated math with a passion, so much so that I had convinced myself that I was too stupid to do basic multiplication tables. Luckily for me Mr. Horn harbored no such illusions and spent countless hours helping me learn my math and also instilled in me a sense of self confidence to tackle things as they come up and not hide behind a self proclaimed ignorance.
Mrs. Mienke from grade six encouraged my love of the written word through writing stories and my thoughts down in a journal and reading anything and everything I could get my hands on. I think this blog is partially her doing as it goes back to those days when things at home were not going as well as they should have been and I would express my anger and fears in my journal rather than hold them inside where they would fester and make a preteen into a bitter teen. I'm happy to say that my son has followed this pattern by writing his own stories and using books to explore the world around him, without the issues that made me do that many years ago.
In high school it was Mr. Schwandt who offered me an outlet and set me on my future when he talked me into talking primary accounting in grade 11. Again with the numbers right lol Mr. Schwandt was going through a very bitter divorce and custody battle for his daughter but not once did he let those feelings effect how he taught his business classes nor the words of encouragement he had for every one of his students. It was him who made me think I could not only succeed at university but continue onto pursue a graduate degree when the time was right.
I was one of literally hundreds or thousands of students each of these teachers had in a class and I wonder if they ever knew the incredible impact they had on us and especially this man as he transitioned from grade school onto high school and further into life as a man.
We call people hero for a lot of reasons. Some spend hours with our children helping them learn, some wear the badge of a police officer, the stethoscope of a doctor or nurse, some respond to accidents in an ambulance, and some wear a uniform and man the watch at all hours of the night safeguarding us from those who would do us harm.
I've been fortunate enough to date one such woman and had several other hero's make a positive impact on my life through simple acts of kindness.
So next time you see someone you consider a hero take a moment and smile at them and say thank you. It's not much but I bet it will make them smile back at you.
Marcus
Sunday, June 17, 2018
What Constitutes Dating?
Sunday June 17/18
So I received a response on my question "What is love?" that sort of baffled me.
Here is the message in it's entirety............
"Why do you care what love is since you are only interested in dating as many women as you can, maybe this is some lame attempt to make up for lost opportunities or to relive your university days once more.
Maybe you should focus less on dating and more on building a real relationship with one woman and not feeding your ego by dating multiple women at the same time.
It's men like you who give the good guys trying to find love a horrible reputation and make it hard for anything meaningful to develop"
Kind of harsh and not entirely warranted if I do say so myself.
I don't believe any of my blog entries have talked about dating as much as I can but were more then clear that my intent is to meet my one and see what can develop with equal effort by the two of us.
Does this mean I might have to meet more than one woman while I pursue this goal? Absolutely.
But I don't date multiple women at a time - never have and never will. I'm more respectful than that and it would set a piss poor example for my son, daughter is out of the equation now that she is married.
I think at my worst I've seen two women in the same week and both of those were first time get together for a drink to see if we even liked how the other person looked and acted in real life.
Maybe the sender has confused these first meetings as dates but I'm pretty sure that meeting someone for the first time doesn't bestow any form of exclusivity to things.
I've honestly only dated four (4) women since my marriage ended back in 2007, and by dating I mean we actually went out more than 3 times, visited one another's residence, and actually did some activities together other than meeting for a drink.
Monique, Liz, Karine, and Corinne constitute my entire dating portfolio under the definitions outlined below. One high energy woman, one taller than me, one Quebecois with the cutest accent, and one smarter than me and heart stoppingly beautiful.
That's it, just 4 women who I can honestly say I dated.
I've had far more first time meet ups that didn't pan out but that is the nature of trying to meet someone in this day and age. Some of these women made me smile and want a real date but I guess they didn't get the same vibe I got and passed on my offer, some of them generated nothing in me other than the thought that they were nice but not my cup of tea and I wished them well in finding love, and a rather limited number left me feeling so completely at a loss for words that I would not have considered another opportunity had they been the last woman on the planet, hell one left me feeling like I needed to go home and take a shower using bleach to get the residue off my skin. In fairness I'm sure there are s few who probably felt the same about me and that's life so no loss on either side.
No, my dating history is much thinner than you might think and I believe that goes a long way in showing that I don't take this process litely, but rather have been more than willing to put in my time in trying to find the one for me.
Dating isn't easy but before you even get to the stage where you want to date someone you've got to meet them and that is the crux of the matter. This may sound harsh and I don't mean for it to come out that way but I'll let you be the judge - finding someone you actually want to spend time with is almost a numbers game in the new dating world in which we reside. The majority of people join online dating websites and that just pushes endless opportunities at you in the form of new profiles, these profiles may or may not be real, they may or may not accurately reflect the individual and their intentions, but the only way one can know anything is if there is that first face to face meeting, and that my friend does not make for a date.
I ran my numbers a few years ago on the number of women I've met and I used to think they were high but after doing the analysis I came back thinking I'm probably on the low end of the spectrum, not really helping me in my desire to meet the one but leaving me feeling good about my actions and letting me continue taking one step forward at a time.
Sure there are men who look to date as many women as possible, just as there are women looking to do the same in the new world of equality, and I'm okay with that as long as there is full disclosure by both parties going in that the end result isn't to secure an exclusive relationship but rather to have some fun and kill some empty time in their lives.
For me, I'm not looking to pad my numbers but rather increase my opportunities to meet someone I think is special and maybe she feels the same towards me and we can see where things go.
So that is my take on dating, let me know what you think as I do value feedback, never said I'm an expert and every little bit can only help me in my search for love.
My name is Marcus and these are my adventures in trying to meet the one woman who is imperfectly perfect for me.
Today's musical suggestion is an oldie but goody....."Everlasting Love" by Carl Carlton.
So I received a response on my question "What is love?" that sort of baffled me.
Here is the message in it's entirety............
"Why do you care what love is since you are only interested in dating as many women as you can, maybe this is some lame attempt to make up for lost opportunities or to relive your university days once more.
Maybe you should focus less on dating and more on building a real relationship with one woman and not feeding your ego by dating multiple women at the same time.
It's men like you who give the good guys trying to find love a horrible reputation and make it hard for anything meaningful to develop"
Kind of harsh and not entirely warranted if I do say so myself.
I don't believe any of my blog entries have talked about dating as much as I can but were more then clear that my intent is to meet my one and see what can develop with equal effort by the two of us.
Does this mean I might have to meet more than one woman while I pursue this goal? Absolutely.
But I don't date multiple women at a time - never have and never will. I'm more respectful than that and it would set a piss poor example for my son, daughter is out of the equation now that she is married.
I think at my worst I've seen two women in the same week and both of those were first time get together for a drink to see if we even liked how the other person looked and acted in real life.
Maybe the sender has confused these first meetings as dates but I'm pretty sure that meeting someone for the first time doesn't bestow any form of exclusivity to things.
I've honestly only dated four (4) women since my marriage ended back in 2007, and by dating I mean we actually went out more than 3 times, visited one another's residence, and actually did some activities together other than meeting for a drink.
Monique, Liz, Karine, and Corinne constitute my entire dating portfolio under the definitions outlined below. One high energy woman, one taller than me, one Quebecois with the cutest accent, and one smarter than me and heart stoppingly beautiful.
That's it, just 4 women who I can honestly say I dated.
I've had far more first time meet ups that didn't pan out but that is the nature of trying to meet someone in this day and age. Some of these women made me smile and want a real date but I guess they didn't get the same vibe I got and passed on my offer, some of them generated nothing in me other than the thought that they were nice but not my cup of tea and I wished them well in finding love, and a rather limited number left me feeling so completely at a loss for words that I would not have considered another opportunity had they been the last woman on the planet, hell one left me feeling like I needed to go home and take a shower using bleach to get the residue off my skin. In fairness I'm sure there are s few who probably felt the same about me and that's life so no loss on either side.
No, my dating history is much thinner than you might think and I believe that goes a long way in showing that I don't take this process litely, but rather have been more than willing to put in my time in trying to find the one for me.
Dating isn't easy but before you even get to the stage where you want to date someone you've got to meet them and that is the crux of the matter. This may sound harsh and I don't mean for it to come out that way but I'll let you be the judge - finding someone you actually want to spend time with is almost a numbers game in the new dating world in which we reside. The majority of people join online dating websites and that just pushes endless opportunities at you in the form of new profiles, these profiles may or may not be real, they may or may not accurately reflect the individual and their intentions, but the only way one can know anything is if there is that first face to face meeting, and that my friend does not make for a date.
I ran my numbers a few years ago on the number of women I've met and I used to think they were high but after doing the analysis I came back thinking I'm probably on the low end of the spectrum, not really helping me in my desire to meet the one but leaving me feeling good about my actions and letting me continue taking one step forward at a time.
Sure there are men who look to date as many women as possible, just as there are women looking to do the same in the new world of equality, and I'm okay with that as long as there is full disclosure by both parties going in that the end result isn't to secure an exclusive relationship but rather to have some fun and kill some empty time in their lives.
For me, I'm not looking to pad my numbers but rather increase my opportunities to meet someone I think is special and maybe she feels the same towards me and we can see where things go.
So that is my take on dating, let me know what you think as I do value feedback, never said I'm an expert and every little bit can only help me in my search for love.
My name is Marcus and these are my adventures in trying to meet the one woman who is imperfectly perfect for me.
Today's musical suggestion is an oldie but goody....."Everlasting Love" by Carl Carlton.
Happy Father's Day
Sunday, June 17/18
I'd like to wish all the Father's out there a Happy Father's Day as well as all the women pulling double duty as both mother and father.
Being a parent has to be one of the toughest jobs in the world, one that doesn't come with training, least none other than on the job, or a manual for how to be a good parent.
The sad fact is that anyone can procreate a child into the world but not everyone is fit to be a good parent.
Being a good parent doesn't mean making sure they have the hottest brands in apparel, the latest cell phone, or money to spend.
No, being a good parent means providing them with the necessary skills to make good decisions, empathize with other, being able to not only know right from wrong but to act accordingly, and bringing something to society other than their mere presence. It means trying to leave the world better than you found it.
I think a lot of us learn from the examples set for us by our own parents and family and friends with children, what we observe that works and doesn't, how the relationship evolves, and the results as things progress.
My parents loved me, of that I'm sure, but they were absentee parents always working to build a business, one they wanted to retire from and have me take over, the problem with that scenario was that nobody asked me if that was something I'd like to do. It wasn't and caused more than a few fights when I finally developed enough of a backbone to express my feelings.
I played high school football, wasn't good enough to be considered for a division one program but could have probably played division two if I wanted. I realized the summer before my senior year that I needed to focus on my grades in order to go to the university I wanted and gave up playing to buckle down and get the numbers I needed.
When I told my parents my decision you'd have thought I was speaking in tongue for the reaction I received back. What really floored me was these were the same parents who combined managed to make it out approximately one half of one game over three seasons, that is one half of one game out of 30 games, less than 2% of the total time played. That stuck with me and I vowed at that point to never be an absentee parent whenever the opportunity for children came into my life.
I've followed a simple doctrine when dealing with my kids - what would my parents have done and than I do the opposite. Now some might view that as a jab at my parents and maybe it is, but it's also a smart strategy as I know for a fact my own parents never had a clue as to what my classes were in high school or even my grades, they never bothered to ask me or the school. My kids have had two active parents who place a great emphasis on education and have been actively involved knowing about classes and grades, making resources available when needed, our own knowledge and that of others.
When I became partners with my daughters mother she did something that blew my mind. She let me be the parent to take our daughter to the first day of school, attend the parent teacher conferences, and take part in her swim lessons. I was confused at first and felt like she was abdicating her role as parent and she explained to me that she knew how much I wanted to be a father and had already done all those firsts already and wanted to share those moments with me to give me the memories she knew I craved more than anything.
When our son came along we split things pretty much equally and think we've all benefited from it.
Being a parent is so damn hard in this day and age. It's like advanced Humanity, you better want it bad and be willing to put the time in without any expectations on getting rewarded.
But here is the thing, there is a reward, just not one you can monetize in any way.
It comes in the look your children will give you out of the blue that says they love and appreciate all you do for them. The comments you'll receive from other parents, teachers, and coaches on how much they like having your child around.
I know tomorrow is supposed to be about our kids celebrating us as Father's but the truth is that I'll be celebrating the incredible love I feel for my kids and how they make me feel like a wonderful father day in and day out. My 19 y/o son gives me hugs out of the blue and tells me he loves me in front of his friends without a second thought. My daughter calls and texts me all the time to share things going on with her and her own family so I can be part of things.
My son works tomorrow from 4 pm on wards so we'll be doing lunch and than I'm heading over to see my daughter and grandson where I think I'm going to get a hand made craft from Jack, and probably cry a little as well since that little guy makes my heart swell 3 sizes whenever I'm around him. My daughter will ask me a lot of questions about how I'm doing and I'll try my best to reassure her but I don't think she'll ever feel comfortable after the recent health scare, but than she is now a mother and her own protection gene has kicked in. My ex will send me a text reminding me that I'm a great dad and the kids are lucky to have me as they're father, but the truth is I'm the lucky one and have been for over 24 years now.
My name is Marcus and I'll be the guy with the big smile tomorrow as I share some time with my children. I'm getting better every day and still searching for my one, the one who is imperfectly perfect for this old man.
I'd like to wish all the Father's out there a Happy Father's Day as well as all the women pulling double duty as both mother and father.
Being a parent has to be one of the toughest jobs in the world, one that doesn't come with training, least none other than on the job, or a manual for how to be a good parent.
The sad fact is that anyone can procreate a child into the world but not everyone is fit to be a good parent.
Being a good parent doesn't mean making sure they have the hottest brands in apparel, the latest cell phone, or money to spend.
No, being a good parent means providing them with the necessary skills to make good decisions, empathize with other, being able to not only know right from wrong but to act accordingly, and bringing something to society other than their mere presence. It means trying to leave the world better than you found it.
I think a lot of us learn from the examples set for us by our own parents and family and friends with children, what we observe that works and doesn't, how the relationship evolves, and the results as things progress.
My parents loved me, of that I'm sure, but they were absentee parents always working to build a business, one they wanted to retire from and have me take over, the problem with that scenario was that nobody asked me if that was something I'd like to do. It wasn't and caused more than a few fights when I finally developed enough of a backbone to express my feelings.
I played high school football, wasn't good enough to be considered for a division one program but could have probably played division two if I wanted. I realized the summer before my senior year that I needed to focus on my grades in order to go to the university I wanted and gave up playing to buckle down and get the numbers I needed.
When I told my parents my decision you'd have thought I was speaking in tongue for the reaction I received back. What really floored me was these were the same parents who combined managed to make it out approximately one half of one game over three seasons, that is one half of one game out of 30 games, less than 2% of the total time played. That stuck with me and I vowed at that point to never be an absentee parent whenever the opportunity for children came into my life.
I've followed a simple doctrine when dealing with my kids - what would my parents have done and than I do the opposite. Now some might view that as a jab at my parents and maybe it is, but it's also a smart strategy as I know for a fact my own parents never had a clue as to what my classes were in high school or even my grades, they never bothered to ask me or the school. My kids have had two active parents who place a great emphasis on education and have been actively involved knowing about classes and grades, making resources available when needed, our own knowledge and that of others.
When I became partners with my daughters mother she did something that blew my mind. She let me be the parent to take our daughter to the first day of school, attend the parent teacher conferences, and take part in her swim lessons. I was confused at first and felt like she was abdicating her role as parent and she explained to me that she knew how much I wanted to be a father and had already done all those firsts already and wanted to share those moments with me to give me the memories she knew I craved more than anything.
When our son came along we split things pretty much equally and think we've all benefited from it.
Being a parent is so damn hard in this day and age. It's like advanced Humanity, you better want it bad and be willing to put the time in without any expectations on getting rewarded.
But here is the thing, there is a reward, just not one you can monetize in any way.
It comes in the look your children will give you out of the blue that says they love and appreciate all you do for them. The comments you'll receive from other parents, teachers, and coaches on how much they like having your child around.
I know tomorrow is supposed to be about our kids celebrating us as Father's but the truth is that I'll be celebrating the incredible love I feel for my kids and how they make me feel like a wonderful father day in and day out. My 19 y/o son gives me hugs out of the blue and tells me he loves me in front of his friends without a second thought. My daughter calls and texts me all the time to share things going on with her and her own family so I can be part of things.
My son works tomorrow from 4 pm on wards so we'll be doing lunch and than I'm heading over to see my daughter and grandson where I think I'm going to get a hand made craft from Jack, and probably cry a little as well since that little guy makes my heart swell 3 sizes whenever I'm around him. My daughter will ask me a lot of questions about how I'm doing and I'll try my best to reassure her but I don't think she'll ever feel comfortable after the recent health scare, but than she is now a mother and her own protection gene has kicked in. My ex will send me a text reminding me that I'm a great dad and the kids are lucky to have me as they're father, but the truth is I'm the lucky one and have been for over 24 years now.
My name is Marcus and I'll be the guy with the big smile tomorrow as I share some time with my children. I'm getting better every day and still searching for my one, the one who is imperfectly perfect for this old man.
Saturday, June 16, 2018
What is Love?
Saturday, June 16/18
So I'm watching this Korean series on Netflix titled "Something in the Rain" and there is a question posed by the daughter to her father that made me sit back and wonder.
What is love?
I sort of know my answer to the question but before I share it, I'd love to hear what you the readers think love really is......................
Let me know => observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
My name is Marcus and I'm a recovering romantic who doesn't want to be alone but won't just settle in order to be in a relationship, though that seems to be the message I've been getting a lot lately from a wide circle of people.
So I'm watching this Korean series on Netflix titled "Something in the Rain" and there is a question posed by the daughter to her father that made me sit back and wonder.
What is love?
I sort of know my answer to the question but before I share it, I'd love to hear what you the readers think love really is......................
Let me know => observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
My name is Marcus and I'm a recovering romantic who doesn't want to be alone but won't just settle in order to be in a relationship, though that seems to be the message I've been getting a lot lately from a wide circle of people.
Monday, June 11, 2018
Simply put, I'm Vanilla
Monday, June 11/18
If I had to categorize myself as a flavour of ice cream I think it would be safe to say I'm vanilla.
It covers both my pigmentation and general personality.
Now there is nothing wrong with vanilla as without it how could we really love and appreciate all the other flavours out there??
I'd love to be more like Pistachio Chocolate Mint,Moon Mist, or Cotton Candy, all of which are real flavours in case you were wondering, but I'm not and I can accept that as we are who we are.
I do try and mix things up whenever possible but in the end I am really just a nice bowl of vanilla ice cream, sure you can add some sprinkles or maybe hot fudge to up the taste so to speak, but the basic ingredient is still plain vanilla.
Used to sort of bother me that I come across this way but now I embrace it just who I am. I'm not exciting like Bordeaux Cherry or flashy like Cherry Garcia.
At the best I might be French Vanilla Bean and on a great day maybe dark cherry vanilla. Both better than just plain old vanilla.
Luckily for me I know what I am and try my best to work with what I've got.
I go great with warm pie, not that kind so get your dirty mind out of the gutter people, and mixed with some fruit can be a great refreshing treat after a warm day spent in the sun being all active.
I'm not going to be the wow factor that a lot of other ice creams bring to the table but the one thing I am going to be is consistent and there for you day after day. So if you are looking for something that explodes and makes you wide eyed and bushy tailed, well I suggest you keep walking down the dessert aisle until something flashy catches your eye. But if you want the one that will always do it's best to make you smile and not overreach itself, well than maybe a bowl of vanilla isn't so bad.
My name is Marcus and life isn't always a bowl of cherries but when it is might I suggest adding them to a bowl of vanilla ice cream and savouring the taste they provide together :-)
Today's musical suggestion is "One of The Mornings" by Moby
If I had to categorize myself as a flavour of ice cream I think it would be safe to say I'm vanilla.
It covers both my pigmentation and general personality.
Now there is nothing wrong with vanilla as without it how could we really love and appreciate all the other flavours out there??
I'd love to be more like Pistachio Chocolate Mint,Moon Mist, or Cotton Candy, all of which are real flavours in case you were wondering, but I'm not and I can accept that as we are who we are.
I do try and mix things up whenever possible but in the end I am really just a nice bowl of vanilla ice cream, sure you can add some sprinkles or maybe hot fudge to up the taste so to speak, but the basic ingredient is still plain vanilla.
Used to sort of bother me that I come across this way but now I embrace it just who I am. I'm not exciting like Bordeaux Cherry or flashy like Cherry Garcia.
At the best I might be French Vanilla Bean and on a great day maybe dark cherry vanilla. Both better than just plain old vanilla.
Luckily for me I know what I am and try my best to work with what I've got.
I go great with warm pie, not that kind so get your dirty mind out of the gutter people, and mixed with some fruit can be a great refreshing treat after a warm day spent in the sun being all active.
I'm not going to be the wow factor that a lot of other ice creams bring to the table but the one thing I am going to be is consistent and there for you day after day. So if you are looking for something that explodes and makes you wide eyed and bushy tailed, well I suggest you keep walking down the dessert aisle until something flashy catches your eye. But if you want the one that will always do it's best to make you smile and not overreach itself, well than maybe a bowl of vanilla isn't so bad.
My name is Marcus and life isn't always a bowl of cherries but when it is might I suggest adding them to a bowl of vanilla ice cream and savouring the taste they provide together :-)
Today's musical suggestion is "One of The Mornings" by Moby
Sunday, June 3, 2018
I Was Asked What I'm Looking For..........
Saturday, May 05/18
I was asked today what it is I'm looking for when it comes to dating.
Pretty simple question to pose but not as easy to answer and remain true to myself.
The most basic answer is my best friend. I know that sounds like such a cliche but if you aren't in that relationship with your best friend than is it really "that" relationship in the end?
You should be willing, capable, and open to sharing everything with the person one you call the one, and if you can't than that relationship isn't with the one, least not the right one.
I want someone who can I totally share my life with, the past, the present, and the future.
I need to be open with her about my past and how it has shaped me into the person I am today, how I got to the here and now from the steps I've taken, to be able to discuss the people who've come and gone, adding insight to how I view the world around me. I've only been able to really share myself with two women in my life, both of whom made me a better person when we were done than when I was when I started seeing them. Actually, I've really only shared my most inner feelings with one woman in my life and it was the most natural thing I've ever done, happening without any second thoughts, leaving me feeling so alive inside, the endless possibilities arrayed before me.
My present is sort of a mess as I deal with the ongoing issues related to surgery and my unsettled feelings that I need to make some changes in my life. Changes around my living situation and more than likely my current employment arrangement.
My future remains to be seen and the present has such a huge impact on what I might be doing a month from now let alone a year.
I want butterflies. Yes, you heard me right, I'm 100% male and want to feel those damn butterflies and not just at our first date, but all the time!
I'm sure some of you are scoffing at this notion, thinking it's not possible to feel butterflies all the time, but let me ask you this, why not? I mean if you really are with the one than I think that should be your natural state of being. Call me naive if you want too, but this is a pretty high criteria in my books.
I want someone who will accept me as I am, with all my flaws, and I have my fair share, as I will accept her as is and embrace those things that makes her uniquely her in my eyes.
I don't care if she has a university education or which deity she follows, really just desire her to have some spirituality and not be an atheist, as I don't think I'll ever be able to even try to date someone who doesn't believe in some form of higher power.
Don't care what the colour of her eyes or hair are, not fretting her height as I'm sure someone taller than me isn't going to present herself as my potential one, but I'd probably be halfway to heaven if she liked to play golf, doesn't have to be as much as I do but some rounds together would be awesome.
Being with someone in a relationship doesn't mean being with them 24/7 or joined at the hip. We all need some "me" time to recharge our internal batteries, something I acknowledge and will never have an issue seeing happen whenever she tells me she needs it, alone or with her girls for a night out. It took me some time to understand this from her point of view but back in 2015 when I was told Corinne needed one I found it kind of refreshing staying home with the pets while she had a girls night out.
I'm not sure about the whole opposites attract theory but do believe that having too much in common could be more harmful than helpful in a relationship, I mean I can do what I like to do now without adding a new person to the equation, what I really want is someone who will come in and introduce me to some new things that she likes to do, learn some new activities or interests together, and possibly share some that I like. I think that is the real foundation of a relationship that could stand the test of time.
I've been in love and really want almost more than anything to experience that feeling once again, I would love to share my very last first kiss, hell I'd like to share a lot of last first things with someone wonderful.
The key is going to be keeping my head up and not letting myself get discouraged as the process isn't something that can rushed or short circuited in the least.
Love isn't easy, no, love is far from easy, but it is well worth fighting the good fight to secure in my life.
My name is Marcus and I would love to meet my one and fall hopelessly head over heals for her. The thought of it makes me shake, shake with nerves and shake with anticipation.
I was asked today what it is I'm looking for when it comes to dating.
Pretty simple question to pose but not as easy to answer and remain true to myself.
The most basic answer is my best friend. I know that sounds like such a cliche but if you aren't in that relationship with your best friend than is it really "that" relationship in the end?
You should be willing, capable, and open to sharing everything with the person one you call the one, and if you can't than that relationship isn't with the one, least not the right one.
I want someone who can I totally share my life with, the past, the present, and the future.
I need to be open with her about my past and how it has shaped me into the person I am today, how I got to the here and now from the steps I've taken, to be able to discuss the people who've come and gone, adding insight to how I view the world around me. I've only been able to really share myself with two women in my life, both of whom made me a better person when we were done than when I was when I started seeing them. Actually, I've really only shared my most inner feelings with one woman in my life and it was the most natural thing I've ever done, happening without any second thoughts, leaving me feeling so alive inside, the endless possibilities arrayed before me.
My present is sort of a mess as I deal with the ongoing issues related to surgery and my unsettled feelings that I need to make some changes in my life. Changes around my living situation and more than likely my current employment arrangement.
My future remains to be seen and the present has such a huge impact on what I might be doing a month from now let alone a year.
I want butterflies. Yes, you heard me right, I'm 100% male and want to feel those damn butterflies and not just at our first date, but all the time!
I'm sure some of you are scoffing at this notion, thinking it's not possible to feel butterflies all the time, but let me ask you this, why not? I mean if you really are with the one than I think that should be your natural state of being. Call me naive if you want too, but this is a pretty high criteria in my books.
I want someone who will accept me as I am, with all my flaws, and I have my fair share, as I will accept her as is and embrace those things that makes her uniquely her in my eyes.
I don't care if she has a university education or which deity she follows, really just desire her to have some spirituality and not be an atheist, as I don't think I'll ever be able to even try to date someone who doesn't believe in some form of higher power.
Don't care what the colour of her eyes or hair are, not fretting her height as I'm sure someone taller than me isn't going to present herself as my potential one, but I'd probably be halfway to heaven if she liked to play golf, doesn't have to be as much as I do but some rounds together would be awesome.
Being with someone in a relationship doesn't mean being with them 24/7 or joined at the hip. We all need some "me" time to recharge our internal batteries, something I acknowledge and will never have an issue seeing happen whenever she tells me she needs it, alone or with her girls for a night out. It took me some time to understand this from her point of view but back in 2015 when I was told Corinne needed one I found it kind of refreshing staying home with the pets while she had a girls night out.
I'm not sure about the whole opposites attract theory but do believe that having too much in common could be more harmful than helpful in a relationship, I mean I can do what I like to do now without adding a new person to the equation, what I really want is someone who will come in and introduce me to some new things that she likes to do, learn some new activities or interests together, and possibly share some that I like. I think that is the real foundation of a relationship that could stand the test of time.
I've been in love and really want almost more than anything to experience that feeling once again, I would love to share my very last first kiss, hell I'd like to share a lot of last first things with someone wonderful.
The key is going to be keeping my head up and not letting myself get discouraged as the process isn't something that can rushed or short circuited in the least.
Love isn't easy, no, love is far from easy, but it is well worth fighting the good fight to secure in my life.
My name is Marcus and I would love to meet my one and fall hopelessly head over heals for her. The thought of it makes me shake, shake with nerves and shake with anticipation.
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