Love is........

Thursday, June 28/18

Back on June 16th I posed the question "What is love?"

I've received a lot of messages from readers trying to answer the question but the truth is that there is no correct answer for love is something different for each of us.

I've pondered this question for years and am no closer to a definitive answer today than I was ten years ago and am probably as close today to the answer as I'll be fifteen years from now.

Love is the riddle of life with no answer.....note that I don't say a correct answer nor a wrong answer, but rather no answer.

I think trying to answer that question is as easy as trying to describe the wind to someone using nothing but words. I don't think it's possible just as I don't think the answer to love rests in words either.

Love is like the wind, you can feel it across your cheeks as it gently blows in the late afternoon but try as you might, look around yourself as hard as you like, it still isn't visible to the naked eye. You know it's there but you can't reach out and put your hands around it.  Love is very much like the wind.

Love resides in your mind, it resides it in your heart, and it resides deep inside your body.

It makes you want to cry with joy, it makes you want to cry with hurt, it makes you want shout out in frustration, and it makes you want to shout out to the world when you are madly lost deep within it's throes.

Love is chaos theory, anything is possible and yet nothing is possible.

Love is that vise like feeling around your heart when you think of that someone special. It the unbidden smile you feel when you think of them out of the blue or come across a reminder of them when you least expect it.

Love is butterflies when you look up and see them staring at you, it's the gentle touch of a hand as they pass by you in the kitchen, it's the annoyed look they give you when you are being a pain in the ass at the grocery store and asking if they need a price check on a personal hygiene item knowing you'll be paying for it later.

Love is doing something unasked just because you know it will make them feel good.

Love is foregoing your plans to be there for them when they need you, even when they don't ask or know that they need you with them at that moment.

Love is knowing it's okay to have interests and friends of your own, that you are not whole by being together 24/7, that time apart is as critical to the growth and development of the relationship as time as a couple.

Love sometimes means having to make tough decisions, one's that make your heart hurt but you know are for the best in the long run.

Love might mean ending a relationship before it's time so that the pain in the longer run is minimized for the other person , regardless of how much pain you feel in the here and now.

I used to love the line from Love Story where Ali McGraw tells Ryan O'Neal's character "Love means never having to say you're sorry" but over the years and a few stumbles along the way I've learned love really means being able to say you're sorry and meaning it from the bottom of your heart without holding in any repressed feelings or resentment.

There are a tonne of definitions on what is love but I think the only one that counts is the one you feel inside you, the one that makes you want to be with someone through thick and thin, the one that doesn't make it easy to put them aside but rather makes you want to be the best person you can for them.

My name is Marcus and I've truly loved two women in my life. One is the mother of my children and to this day one of my best friends and the other is the one who really made me see the world around myself and want to be a better person for her and myself.