Let's Talk!!

Wednesday, January 30/19

Today is the annual Bell "Let's Talk" day to promote mental health awareness and remove the stigma that suffering from it has carried for far too many years.

First off, my apologies for getting this blog entry out so late today but some new things have been happening in my life that have been taking up a lot of my time.  Having said that, this is an important topic to me and I feel pretty shitty about the lateness of today's post.

You either suffer from some form of mental health issue or you know someone who does. Period, end of story, it's not really something you can debate in this day and age. You might not suffer from it yourself but I can guarantee you that a family member, close friend, or co-worker does suffer from it and behooves all of us to be aware of it and know what to do should the moment arise when it becomes more apparent than not.

Lot of males grow up being told "Stop crying, what are you a little girl" or "Big boys don't cry"

Bullshit!!!!!   Real men do cry and let emotions show for all to see. I've cried and I'm sure I'll do it again more than likely sooner rather than later. My kids have seen me cry and I'm not ashamed of it or embarrassed by it as I think it shows them that bottling emotions up can be damaging.

My son is not afraid to show his emotions when something is bothering him and I couldn't love him anymore than if I tried as it shows me he gets it and isn't keeping things inside, that while his mother or I might not be able to solve the problem that we are here to listen and let him get things off his chest. Both of my kids and now my son-in-law have heard my offer to always be there and do whatever they need me to do.......even if it is just to lend a a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, really listen to the message they want to communicate.

Sometimes listening means understanding what the words aren't really saying but rather what the other person is trying to express. We can't always do anything about the problem but we can always make time to just be there for them and sometimes that is all the other person wants or needs at that particular moment.

In years past I've suffered from depression and learned to talk about the things that bother me with a therapist and a few close friends. It was the hardest thing I've ever done as I'm one of those guys  grew up in a house where boys were told it's not manly to express emotions.

I learned to compartmentalize my feelings at a very young age in order to avoid being mocked and not really deal with them. This led me to suffer from severe bouts of self doubt and extremely low self esteem, so much so that at one point I stood on the edge of the abyss and contemplated just stepping off into the darkness once and for all.

But for the memory of my high school friend Kelly and all she suffered from her own mothers suicide I might have really done the unthinkable and missed out on so much life.

I've done my best to impart this on my children and as my grandson gets older he'll likely hear me telling him that not matter what is going on in his life that I'm always going to be there for him to lean on and just talk to about anything and everything he's feeling.

We can't solve all the problems we are presented but we can all be warm, decent. caring people and offer a smile, a kind word, and the opportunity for someone to talk the things they are going through. You might be surprised how much it may help someone, someone you might not have even realized was on the edge at that moment.

I love the "Let's Talk" message but don't limit myself to following it on just one day but try and use it every single day.

My name is Marcus and I'm here if you ever just want to talk to someone.

Reach out to me at ooasm2018@gmail.com and let's talk!!!