Saturday, May 23/15
I received a couple of messages telling me I had better not be doing another vanishing act since I didn't post anything yesterday and just wanted to say relax and take a breathe........
While I might be doing that whole unemployed bit it doesn't mean I'm not busy folks. yesterday was spent arranging a couple of appointments for next week, cleaning my place in anticipation of starting my week with my awesome son, and attending is soccer practice for the first time in my new role of assistant coach.
My plan to is to post something new tomorrow while someone I know works on his science and math homework.
On a side note......remember to express just how happy you are with your child's school progress every chance you get as that praise means far more than you'll ever realize right now. I know from my own past where my parents would have been hard pressed to tell you what subjects I was taking let alone how I was doing in them.
Your words matter, use them wisely now and reap the rewards later on............
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Guilty Pleasures
Thursday, May 21/15
Today's song is "The Lightning Strike" by Snow Patrol
The instrumentals on this song are stand alone and the words just add to the mood it creates.
Guilty pleasures.....we all have them whether we want to admit to them or not
Lately I've been experiencing one of mine as I find it helps center me and gives me some inspiration and more than a few topics to blog about.
What is this guilty pleasure you ask?
One Tree Hill
Now before you laugh at my for enjoying a show built around the drama and angst of a group of high school students from mythical Tree Hill, North Carolina take a moment and think back about your own high school experience. Mine wasn't anywhere near as dramatic as that posed on the show but there are some similar experiences that bring back memories both good and bad.
One think I like about OTH is that they didn't try and prolong the show by keeping the characters in high school longer than was necessary but allowed them to grow up, move on with life, and face new challenges and opportunities.
I'm just finishing up season 8 with one more to go and I see quite a bit of similarity between Nathan Scott and myself in terms of how we view fatherhood and being there for our children all the while battling the demons of how we were raised by our respective fathers.
OTH is but one of my guilty pleasures and given how life has gone for me lately I think I'll be revisiting some of them over the next little while as I cope with things and try and stay on an even keel.
These guilty pleasures might include but are not limited too.....
Those are but a few of mine and now I ask that you consider some of your own and possibility partake of one or two this coming weekend.
M
Today's song is "The Lightning Strike" by Snow Patrol
The instrumentals on this song are stand alone and the words just add to the mood it creates.
Guilty pleasures.....we all have them whether we want to admit to them or not
Lately I've been experiencing one of mine as I find it helps center me and gives me some inspiration and more than a few topics to blog about.
What is this guilty pleasure you ask?
One Tree Hill
Now before you laugh at my for enjoying a show built around the drama and angst of a group of high school students from mythical Tree Hill, North Carolina take a moment and think back about your own high school experience. Mine wasn't anywhere near as dramatic as that posed on the show but there are some similar experiences that bring back memories both good and bad.
One think I like about OTH is that they didn't try and prolong the show by keeping the characters in high school longer than was necessary but allowed them to grow up, move on with life, and face new challenges and opportunities.
I'm just finishing up season 8 with one more to go and I see quite a bit of similarity between Nathan Scott and myself in terms of how we view fatherhood and being there for our children all the while battling the demons of how we were raised by our respective fathers.
OTH is but one of my guilty pleasures and given how life has gone for me lately I think I'll be revisiting some of them over the next little while as I cope with things and try and stay on an even keel.
These guilty pleasures might include but are not limited too.....
- Hoosiers, the movie that is with Gene Hackman and not the state of Indiana
- Dairy Queen soft swirl cone, but not dipped, oh no, never dipped
- Sitting on my deck with my iPod, a cold drink, and a book by Dick Francis
- The driving range so I can let some frustration out through the timely application of my driver
- A walk through Ikea, not to buy anything but just to check things out
- Letting Moki off her leash in the park and running around like the crazy puppy she is
Those are but a few of mine and now I ask that you consider some of your own and possibility partake of one or two this coming weekend.
M
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
The Blog
May 20/2015
The blog is back for a variety of reasons but the primary one is to offer some help.
Help for who you may ask.....
Myself mostly as I find writing is a huge release and grants me some sense of calm in a turbulent world.
I also hope it helps anyone who takes the time to read any of the postings. Not that it will offer a solutions to any problems you may be experiencing but more from the observation that we all go though those same moments and seeing how I face them, view them, and hopefully overcome them can offer you encouragement in your own struggles.
I don't blog to get sympathy as I'm one of those people who feel we are all the masters of our own destiny and that we each must like the person we are before we can hope to like anyone else in the deeper sense of the word as superficial liking is readily possible, but we all strive for that deeper feeling that leaves our hearts pounding, pupils dilated, and gasping for air........
I'm not blogging to win votes, earn money, or even try and get someone back. I'm blogging for the simple reason that I enjoy putting pen to paper and creating something.
You don't have to like it, respect it, or even keep reading.
No, you just owe it to yourself to stay true to the person you are now and the one you want to be as you pass through the various stages of your life.
I am recently freshly wounded from the ending of a relationship that meant far more to me than I realized when I was actually part of it. There is a saying that says you don't know what you have till you've lost it.........from my own recent experiences, trust me that one is very true........
C knows about the blog as I mentioned it to her when we first started dating. It was one thing she didn't know about as several of her co-workers had done some rather serious research on me as they are pretty protective of her. She knew I'd done one but not where to find it online. She does now and I hope that none of these posts make her uncomfortable, sad, or even angry.
Rather I hope she comes to understand the positive effect she had on me and how much I appreciate the growth she has brought about these past few months, the joy she raised inside me, the trust I have in her to live her life to the fullest as she continues to grow as a person, a parent, and someday someone's partner.
I don't know what my future holds but I have some unfinished dreams that I hope to see come true someday.......some I've shared on the blog and some I've talked about one on one with people...and a few I recently came to see as possible........maybe those will still happen..........
The blog is back for a variety of reasons but the primary one is to offer some help.
Help for who you may ask.....
Myself mostly as I find writing is a huge release and grants me some sense of calm in a turbulent world.
I also hope it helps anyone who takes the time to read any of the postings. Not that it will offer a solutions to any problems you may be experiencing but more from the observation that we all go though those same moments and seeing how I face them, view them, and hopefully overcome them can offer you encouragement in your own struggles.
I don't blog to get sympathy as I'm one of those people who feel we are all the masters of our own destiny and that we each must like the person we are before we can hope to like anyone else in the deeper sense of the word as superficial liking is readily possible, but we all strive for that deeper feeling that leaves our hearts pounding, pupils dilated, and gasping for air........
I'm not blogging to win votes, earn money, or even try and get someone back. I'm blogging for the simple reason that I enjoy putting pen to paper and creating something.
You don't have to like it, respect it, or even keep reading.
No, you just owe it to yourself to stay true to the person you are now and the one you want to be as you pass through the various stages of your life.
I am recently freshly wounded from the ending of a relationship that meant far more to me than I realized when I was actually part of it. There is a saying that says you don't know what you have till you've lost it.........from my own recent experiences, trust me that one is very true........
C knows about the blog as I mentioned it to her when we first started dating. It was one thing she didn't know about as several of her co-workers had done some rather serious research on me as they are pretty protective of her. She knew I'd done one but not where to find it online. She does now and I hope that none of these posts make her uncomfortable, sad, or even angry.
Rather I hope she comes to understand the positive effect she had on me and how much I appreciate the growth she has brought about these past few months, the joy she raised inside me, the trust I have in her to live her life to the fullest as she continues to grow as a person, a parent, and someday someone's partner.
I don't know what my future holds but I have some unfinished dreams that I hope to see come true someday.......some I've shared on the blog and some I've talked about one on one with people...and a few I recently came to see as possible........maybe those will still happen..........
Dinner with the daughter
May 20/2015
Today's song is "Just Breathe" by Pearl Jam
I think the lyrics sum up perfectly how I've been feeling the past few weeks.
Last night I had dinner with my daughter which of itself isn't all that shocking but the fact that I'm blogging about it really is as I've tended to not talk about her that much in the blogs, not because I feel any less for her than I do her brother but more from a sense of letting her have her privacy as she charts her way into adulthood. Now you may ask why I don't extend the same courtesy to my son and the best answer I have is that his path isn't set yet and I tend to interact with him more than I do her as he still needs some dad advice whereas most days my daughter turns to her mother for such things.
It used to bother me that I wasn't her first choice when she needed to talk but one day I realized that when there is something heavy weighing on her that she does turn to me to talk about things, not have me provide her with an answer but more to be her sounding board and allow her the time to reach her own conclusion and find the path that best suits her needs. I think it was with her that I learned the difference between listening to a person and really hearing the message they are sending. Hopefully you understand the context of that last sentence and if not please think about it as it is really important in how you interact with a person, especially someone you may feel close too.
My daughter turns 26 this week and because there is a family birthday dinner planned for the actual day we moved our own dinner up to last night so I could see her, tell her how much I love her, and spend some one on one time together with out any distractions. I grilled up some steaks and we watched the season premier of "The Bachelorette" and generally had a pretty nice time. She was even patient with my repeated question as to who was who on the show lol
When I was getting dinner ready there was a moment that made me pause and reminded me that not everything is peaches and cream with me these days. It came when I asked her to get the butter out of the fridge for the green beans while I was pulling the roasted potatoes out of the oven and she laughed and made a comment about the nice bottle of champagne she saw in the back of the fridge and said she was surprised to see one in my house. There is a running joke, well the joke is really on me if truth be told, that I should never be around champagne as it is literally my own private kryptonite and renders me powerless, not in the sense that I can't do anything but more along the lines that if someone suggests something to me I tend to take it as instructions.....not always to my own best interests if you know what I mean lol
I didn't answer her right away and she turned to find me staring out of the kitchen window thinking about how that particular bottle came to be in my house, she asked me what was wrong and I shook my head and told her nothing, that she just reminded me I needed to return it. She laughed again and said she was pretty sure you can't return bottles to the LCBO and I told her I meant to C as she had bought it to see if it really was my weakness as I'd confessed that to her on our first date back in November. She tried to change the subject by saying how good the potatoes smelled and I sort of sighed and said it was another reminder of C as he had taught me to dice them as I did and the perfect blend of seasonings to use on them. I looked back out the window and it dawned on me just how many little things serve as reminder of the impact a person can have on you that you don't see at the time. My daughter came over and gave me a hug and asked me how I was doing, I told her fine, and she said to me "No dad, I mean how are you really doing?" and for only the fifth time I shed tears in front of my daughter as I let the hurt and loss overwhelm my heart, the other times being the passing of my mother, the birth of my son, the day he came home from CHEO back in 2010 after his brain surgeries, and the day she graduated from high school.
She hugged me tightly and reminded me of what I'd told her in the past about allowing oneself to let the feelings out, that time does heal all wounds, and that I would come out of this stronger for having allowed myself to care about someone. I smiled down at her and asked her when she got so smart and she just smiled back and told me she'd had a couple of good role models growing up......
After dinner and the end of the show we shared some birthday cupcakes and as she was getting ready to leave she softly kissed me on the cheek and told me that I didn't know what the future holds so the best thing I could do was to take things one day at a time and remind myself of all the good times I've experienced over my life and ways I can add to them going forward.
As I watched her drive away I wondered when had the child become the parent and I knew at that moment that whenever she is blessed with children of her own that they'll be in good hands.......
Today's song is "Just Breathe" by Pearl Jam
I think the lyrics sum up perfectly how I've been feeling the past few weeks.
Last night I had dinner with my daughter which of itself isn't all that shocking but the fact that I'm blogging about it really is as I've tended to not talk about her that much in the blogs, not because I feel any less for her than I do her brother but more from a sense of letting her have her privacy as she charts her way into adulthood. Now you may ask why I don't extend the same courtesy to my son and the best answer I have is that his path isn't set yet and I tend to interact with him more than I do her as he still needs some dad advice whereas most days my daughter turns to her mother for such things.
It used to bother me that I wasn't her first choice when she needed to talk but one day I realized that when there is something heavy weighing on her that she does turn to me to talk about things, not have me provide her with an answer but more to be her sounding board and allow her the time to reach her own conclusion and find the path that best suits her needs. I think it was with her that I learned the difference between listening to a person and really hearing the message they are sending. Hopefully you understand the context of that last sentence and if not please think about it as it is really important in how you interact with a person, especially someone you may feel close too.
My daughter turns 26 this week and because there is a family birthday dinner planned for the actual day we moved our own dinner up to last night so I could see her, tell her how much I love her, and spend some one on one time together with out any distractions. I grilled up some steaks and we watched the season premier of "The Bachelorette" and generally had a pretty nice time. She was even patient with my repeated question as to who was who on the show lol
When I was getting dinner ready there was a moment that made me pause and reminded me that not everything is peaches and cream with me these days. It came when I asked her to get the butter out of the fridge for the green beans while I was pulling the roasted potatoes out of the oven and she laughed and made a comment about the nice bottle of champagne she saw in the back of the fridge and said she was surprised to see one in my house. There is a running joke, well the joke is really on me if truth be told, that I should never be around champagne as it is literally my own private kryptonite and renders me powerless, not in the sense that I can't do anything but more along the lines that if someone suggests something to me I tend to take it as instructions.....not always to my own best interests if you know what I mean lol
I didn't answer her right away and she turned to find me staring out of the kitchen window thinking about how that particular bottle came to be in my house, she asked me what was wrong and I shook my head and told her nothing, that she just reminded me I needed to return it. She laughed again and said she was pretty sure you can't return bottles to the LCBO and I told her I meant to C as she had bought it to see if it really was my weakness as I'd confessed that to her on our first date back in November. She tried to change the subject by saying how good the potatoes smelled and I sort of sighed and said it was another reminder of C as he had taught me to dice them as I did and the perfect blend of seasonings to use on them. I looked back out the window and it dawned on me just how many little things serve as reminder of the impact a person can have on you that you don't see at the time. My daughter came over and gave me a hug and asked me how I was doing, I told her fine, and she said to me "No dad, I mean how are you really doing?" and for only the fifth time I shed tears in front of my daughter as I let the hurt and loss overwhelm my heart, the other times being the passing of my mother, the birth of my son, the day he came home from CHEO back in 2010 after his brain surgeries, and the day she graduated from high school.
She hugged me tightly and reminded me of what I'd told her in the past about allowing oneself to let the feelings out, that time does heal all wounds, and that I would come out of this stronger for having allowed myself to care about someone. I smiled down at her and asked her when she got so smart and she just smiled back and told me she'd had a couple of good role models growing up......
After dinner and the end of the show we shared some birthday cupcakes and as she was getting ready to leave she softly kissed me on the cheek and told me that I didn't know what the future holds so the best thing I could do was to take things one day at a time and remind myself of all the good times I've experienced over my life and ways I can add to them going forward.
As I watched her drive away I wondered when had the child become the parent and I knew at that moment that whenever she is blessed with children of her own that they'll be in good hands.......
Monday, May 18, 2015
Happiness is......
May 18/2015
Today's song is "Summer Dress" by July Talk
Yesterday my son had a soccer game with his new competitive team and I went and did the first of what will be many dad moments and watched him play not as his coach but as his dad and it was kind of cool. I forgot just how amazing he is on the pitch with a soccer ball at his foot and some fierce determination to impose his will on his opponent, something he shares in common with his equally amazing sister.
As well as playing for his own team he was asked to spare for the other U16 competitive team in the game right after his and while that team didn't play nearly as well as his own, he did manage a couple of great scoring opportunities while playing his more natural striker position.
I didn't get much of chance to talk with him post games as it is weekend with his mom and he was dead exhausted given how much time he'd been on the pitch so I gave him a fist bump and wished him a great week and told him I'd see him on Friday.
When I got home he sent me a text telling me he thought he played like crap with some weak defence and a couple of missed scoring chances. I thought about his message and instead of texting back I called to talk about it with him directly as I don't like when he gets down on himself as he as a very bad habit of being harder on himself than he deserves as well as feeling like he has let people down, pretty huge weights for anyone to carry let alone a sixteen year old.
We talked for about 15 minutes and I think he got the message I was trying to send, reminding him that it was only his teams second exhibition game and with the limited practices they've had due to some serious attendance issues not nearly as bad as he thought. He paused at the end and thanked me for my words and said he could always count on me to tell it like it is, which made me smile as the one thing I've never done is feed either of my children false praise.
About an hour after we hung up he sent me a text apologizing for not asking me how I was doing as he knows it's been kind of rough on me the last few weeks with the whole job and relationship losses still kind of fresh and raw. I responded that I was doing ok and that I appreciated him asking but that it wasn't his job to look after me but my job to look after him. His next text said he just wanted me to be happy and I assured him I was.
That got me thinking about happiness and it dawned on me that a lot of people view it as a destination and think it is something to strive for much like planning for a new car or vacation next year, but I think it is much more nebulous than that, more a state of mind feeling than a destination.
I think we experience various states of mind and happiness is but one of many, like sadness, euphoria, lust, anger, and boredom. Each of them serves a purpose in our lives and it is perfectly fine to feel each of them at various points in our lives, denying them is like saying the sun will rise in the West and set in the East, just not going to happen anytime soon.
So while I'm not happy at the moment I know there will come a time when I'll feel that way again, in the meantime I'll keep doing what I'm doing to keep my mind occupied while doing the whole job search thing and not let things get me down too much.
So be happy, be sad, be angry, be excited, but just keep on being...........
Today's song is "Summer Dress" by July Talk
Yesterday my son had a soccer game with his new competitive team and I went and did the first of what will be many dad moments and watched him play not as his coach but as his dad and it was kind of cool. I forgot just how amazing he is on the pitch with a soccer ball at his foot and some fierce determination to impose his will on his opponent, something he shares in common with his equally amazing sister.
As well as playing for his own team he was asked to spare for the other U16 competitive team in the game right after his and while that team didn't play nearly as well as his own, he did manage a couple of great scoring opportunities while playing his more natural striker position.
I didn't get much of chance to talk with him post games as it is weekend with his mom and he was dead exhausted given how much time he'd been on the pitch so I gave him a fist bump and wished him a great week and told him I'd see him on Friday.
When I got home he sent me a text telling me he thought he played like crap with some weak defence and a couple of missed scoring chances. I thought about his message and instead of texting back I called to talk about it with him directly as I don't like when he gets down on himself as he as a very bad habit of being harder on himself than he deserves as well as feeling like he has let people down, pretty huge weights for anyone to carry let alone a sixteen year old.
We talked for about 15 minutes and I think he got the message I was trying to send, reminding him that it was only his teams second exhibition game and with the limited practices they've had due to some serious attendance issues not nearly as bad as he thought. He paused at the end and thanked me for my words and said he could always count on me to tell it like it is, which made me smile as the one thing I've never done is feed either of my children false praise.
About an hour after we hung up he sent me a text apologizing for not asking me how I was doing as he knows it's been kind of rough on me the last few weeks with the whole job and relationship losses still kind of fresh and raw. I responded that I was doing ok and that I appreciated him asking but that it wasn't his job to look after me but my job to look after him. His next text said he just wanted me to be happy and I assured him I was.
That got me thinking about happiness and it dawned on me that a lot of people view it as a destination and think it is something to strive for much like planning for a new car or vacation next year, but I think it is much more nebulous than that, more a state of mind feeling than a destination.
I think we experience various states of mind and happiness is but one of many, like sadness, euphoria, lust, anger, and boredom. Each of them serves a purpose in our lives and it is perfectly fine to feel each of them at various points in our lives, denying them is like saying the sun will rise in the West and set in the East, just not going to happen anytime soon.
So while I'm not happy at the moment I know there will come a time when I'll feel that way again, in the meantime I'll keep doing what I'm doing to keep my mind occupied while doing the whole job search thing and not let things get me down too much.
So be happy, be sad, be angry, be excited, but just keep on being...........
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Some recent life changes
May 17/2015
Today's song is "Use Me" by Bill Withers
Well here we are at the tail end of the long weekend and my keyboard won out the fight and has me back blogging once more.
There have been many changes in my life since the last time I posted a blog and I thought I'd take this moment to share some before once more beginning the process of posting blog entries.
Let's see......back in March I took my first real vacation since it seems like forever, though my son resented that comment when I told him how much I was looking forward to it, but then he thinks spending a week down in Orlando is the perfect getaway and it is, for us as a father and son where I am completely focused on making sure he is having fun.
No, this vacation was spent at an all inclusive down in Jamaica with the wonderful woman who I was seeing, booked by her for us and I can't ever tell her how much that week meant to me, I think it literally saved my sanity as my work was driving me over the deep end. Nothing beats relaxing on the beach or by the pool, being plied with drinks, while sitting next to someone who really makes you think the sun won't ever sit. The lady shall remain nameless following my rule about not naming names with anything other then the first initial, in this case C.
April saw me attending a very formal function related to her career that required me to wear a tuxedo. Now I'm not one to get a big head about my appearance, if you saw a picture of me you'd better understand that line, but I have to say I wore that tux quite well. The night was a lot more fun than I expected as I was really nervous about all the people I'd be meeting and more than a bit nervous that I might say something that would reflect poorly on C as she holds a rather important position within her organization and has actually been given a promotion that is her dream assignment and one that will be the highlight of her career - that is all I'm going to say other than she worked hard for it, deserves it, and will kick ass in the new role.
April also begin a streak of some dark actions as my company finished a major review of it's worldwide operations and as I'm sure you can guess resulted in my own position being moved from Canada to the USA as part of the process. Now I knew it was coming as I'm smart enough to understand that when you move 90% of your sales from one country to another there isn't the same need for someone with my skill set but I was caught unaware by the timing.
April was also my son's 16th birthday and it reminded me just how much time has passed since he used to fall asleep on my chest as but a wee little thing, leaving me with a nice little pool of drool on my shirt. To this day the mere thought of that young man can bring me to tears as I don't know what I did in a prior life to earn the joy he's brought me along with his older sister but I thank the stars above every night before I go to sleep for another day spent being they're dad!
So they say things happen in 3's and May saw the second one come along when C had to make a decision about her life. See she is trying to sell her house as her new promotion requires her to move about an hour and a half away, won't include her own boys as they'll transition to their dad's due to school and some travel requirements she is facing, spend as much time with her son's as possible before the new position starts, find a new house, attend a language course that is mandatory for her career, complete another critical course she needs to stay on her career path, and take over her new very time consuming assignment. Something had to give and it was a pretty basic equation that the one thing that wasn't critical was a relationship with me. Now I don't say that glibly but rather as a statement of fact as I do my best not to kid myself.
I'll admit this one hit me harder than the job loss as I can find another one of those but finding someone you actually like, have some common interests with, enjoy the new interests she has brought into your life is pretty damn hard to do these days, much as my older posts attest too......
Is my world ending? No, but it has gotten a bit darker lately. Will it remain dark? No, as my kids are a huge source of support and continue to remind me that things happen for a reason and as my son told me on Thursday just before he went to bed "Remember dad, everything's going to be ok" and gave me a huge hug.
The hardest part is there are so many reminders of what I had around me that there are times my heart aches and I have to fight back the tears. Simple things like a picture, a home renovation show, or the way I prepare a meal as C was a great source of new meals and really worked on me to improve my eating habits.
I miss her and I'm sure that won't go away anytime soon but that's ok because it reminds me that anyone worth having is worth having strong feelings for and about, and I do, oh how I do.
I spent the weekend hoping I might get a call or text saying she made a mistake and wanted to see me but that is the romantic in me as I know she didn't make her decision lightly and she feels some of the same pain I am feeling.
A friend told me that maybe once she gets settled she might reach out to me but I don't see her as the kind of person to do that and thus am not holding out any hope as that will do nothing but prolong the pain I do feel and pain is only meant to be endured for a time before it does more bad than good.
Love might be bittersweet but I'd rather to have loved and lost than never loved at all.
C, you made me a better man and I thank you for that, truly wish you nothing but happiness, and hope you find someone who makes your heart skip a beat as you did mine............
Today's song is "Use Me" by Bill Withers
Well here we are at the tail end of the long weekend and my keyboard won out the fight and has me back blogging once more.
There have been many changes in my life since the last time I posted a blog and I thought I'd take this moment to share some before once more beginning the process of posting blog entries.
Let's see......back in March I took my first real vacation since it seems like forever, though my son resented that comment when I told him how much I was looking forward to it, but then he thinks spending a week down in Orlando is the perfect getaway and it is, for us as a father and son where I am completely focused on making sure he is having fun.
No, this vacation was spent at an all inclusive down in Jamaica with the wonderful woman who I was seeing, booked by her for us and I can't ever tell her how much that week meant to me, I think it literally saved my sanity as my work was driving me over the deep end. Nothing beats relaxing on the beach or by the pool, being plied with drinks, while sitting next to someone who really makes you think the sun won't ever sit. The lady shall remain nameless following my rule about not naming names with anything other then the first initial, in this case C.
April saw me attending a very formal function related to her career that required me to wear a tuxedo. Now I'm not one to get a big head about my appearance, if you saw a picture of me you'd better understand that line, but I have to say I wore that tux quite well. The night was a lot more fun than I expected as I was really nervous about all the people I'd be meeting and more than a bit nervous that I might say something that would reflect poorly on C as she holds a rather important position within her organization and has actually been given a promotion that is her dream assignment and one that will be the highlight of her career - that is all I'm going to say other than she worked hard for it, deserves it, and will kick ass in the new role.
April also begin a streak of some dark actions as my company finished a major review of it's worldwide operations and as I'm sure you can guess resulted in my own position being moved from Canada to the USA as part of the process. Now I knew it was coming as I'm smart enough to understand that when you move 90% of your sales from one country to another there isn't the same need for someone with my skill set but I was caught unaware by the timing.
April was also my son's 16th birthday and it reminded me just how much time has passed since he used to fall asleep on my chest as but a wee little thing, leaving me with a nice little pool of drool on my shirt. To this day the mere thought of that young man can bring me to tears as I don't know what I did in a prior life to earn the joy he's brought me along with his older sister but I thank the stars above every night before I go to sleep for another day spent being they're dad!
So they say things happen in 3's and May saw the second one come along when C had to make a decision about her life. See she is trying to sell her house as her new promotion requires her to move about an hour and a half away, won't include her own boys as they'll transition to their dad's due to school and some travel requirements she is facing, spend as much time with her son's as possible before the new position starts, find a new house, attend a language course that is mandatory for her career, complete another critical course she needs to stay on her career path, and take over her new very time consuming assignment. Something had to give and it was a pretty basic equation that the one thing that wasn't critical was a relationship with me. Now I don't say that glibly but rather as a statement of fact as I do my best not to kid myself.
I'll admit this one hit me harder than the job loss as I can find another one of those but finding someone you actually like, have some common interests with, enjoy the new interests she has brought into your life is pretty damn hard to do these days, much as my older posts attest too......
Is my world ending? No, but it has gotten a bit darker lately. Will it remain dark? No, as my kids are a huge source of support and continue to remind me that things happen for a reason and as my son told me on Thursday just before he went to bed "Remember dad, everything's going to be ok" and gave me a huge hug.
The hardest part is there are so many reminders of what I had around me that there are times my heart aches and I have to fight back the tears. Simple things like a picture, a home renovation show, or the way I prepare a meal as C was a great source of new meals and really worked on me to improve my eating habits.
I miss her and I'm sure that won't go away anytime soon but that's ok because it reminds me that anyone worth having is worth having strong feelings for and about, and I do, oh how I do.
I spent the weekend hoping I might get a call or text saying she made a mistake and wanted to see me but that is the romantic in me as I know she didn't make her decision lightly and she feels some of the same pain I am feeling.
A friend told me that maybe once she gets settled she might reach out to me but I don't see her as the kind of person to do that and thus am not holding out any hope as that will do nothing but prolong the pain I do feel and pain is only meant to be endured for a time before it does more bad than good.
Love might be bittersweet but I'd rather to have loved and lost than never loved at all.
C, you made me a better man and I thank you for that, truly wish you nothing but happiness, and hope you find someone who makes your heart skip a beat as you did mine............
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Charlie Hedbo
When did religion become the cause of death?
When did religion become the focal point of one person taking up arms to quench the rights of another to an opinion?
I know that my own religion, Roman Catholicism, is fraught with examples of it being used to foment violence against others, even death and torture, but I'd like to think we moved past that stage....oh lets say at the time of the great crusades.
Have we not evolved enough as a species that seeing one man criticize something we believe in doesn't lead us to take up arms but rather use our voices to have a debate, whether it be in quiet one on one or loudly in a group setting.
I weep for the lives lost in Paris last week and the families that won't see a father or mother come home tonight, a son or daughter every again.
I weep for the stringent security measures this will cause in the coming weeks and months as France, nay I dare say all of Europe, struggles with these horrific actions and how to cope with the potential for more such acts.
But mostly I weep for the human race as we can't seem to overcome the most base instinct to strike out and physically hurt someone who has offended us in some way.
There are those who will condemn Islam for these acts but let me remind you that the actions of a few don't reflect the thoughts of the many.
I am Charlie Hedbo and my pen shall prove stronger than the sword time immemorial........
When did religion become the focal point of one person taking up arms to quench the rights of another to an opinion?
I know that my own religion, Roman Catholicism, is fraught with examples of it being used to foment violence against others, even death and torture, but I'd like to think we moved past that stage....oh lets say at the time of the great crusades.
Have we not evolved enough as a species that seeing one man criticize something we believe in doesn't lead us to take up arms but rather use our voices to have a debate, whether it be in quiet one on one or loudly in a group setting.
I weep for the lives lost in Paris last week and the families that won't see a father or mother come home tonight, a son or daughter every again.
I weep for the stringent security measures this will cause in the coming weeks and months as France, nay I dare say all of Europe, struggles with these horrific actions and how to cope with the potential for more such acts.
But mostly I weep for the human race as we can't seem to overcome the most base instinct to strike out and physically hurt someone who has offended us in some way.
There are those who will condemn Islam for these acts but let me remind you that the actions of a few don't reflect the thoughts of the many.
I am Charlie Hedbo and my pen shall prove stronger than the sword time immemorial........
2015
January 15, 2015
So 2014 has come and gone and now we are at the start of a new year. I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and were able to enjoy time spent with family, friends, and loved ones.
For the first time in many years I did not spend part of Christmas Eve/Day alone as I was fortunate enough to meet someone back in the fall and we've had that hard to understand click occur between us.
Now it is still early days so I'm doing my best not to get over excited or rush things as we all know what usually happens at that point, disappointment and some heartache.
No matter what develops with this relationship I am going to come away a winner. I win if it lasts and becomes that which I have blogged about and if it doesn't, well I'm still a winner as it has shown me that finding someone is possible no matter how long you've been single.
Oddly enough what transpired is exactly what I was told would happen by more than one person. I had stopped trying to meet people and had sort of just resigned myself to possibly being single when out of the blue I was sent a message on a dating site that caught my attention and soon lunch followed that has led me to the point where I no longer consider myself on the market, so to speak :)
Trust me, love is out there and sometimes it just takes a lot of efforts and patience before it finally comes to your door and kicks it in, this from years of experience, and probably not something anyone would or should want to brag about.
I'm going to keep blogging but more than likely not about dating as that area is off limits to public consumption out of respect for my partner and myself. As the saying goes, a gentleman never tells and I do consider myself a gentleman.
I look forward to resuming the blog and hope you find the future posts if not entertaining at least thought provoking.
P.S. I do enjoy the feedback and was sent one message telling me that in 2013 I posted over 100 entries and last year that number dropped to only 14 posts. There is no rhyme nor reason for the fall off other than sometimes the topic was there bouncing around that empty space for let they call my cranium and yet the motivation to put said thoughts to words was sorely lacking. I'll try and do better, scouts honour!
So 2014 has come and gone and now we are at the start of a new year. I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and were able to enjoy time spent with family, friends, and loved ones.
For the first time in many years I did not spend part of Christmas Eve/Day alone as I was fortunate enough to meet someone back in the fall and we've had that hard to understand click occur between us.
Now it is still early days so I'm doing my best not to get over excited or rush things as we all know what usually happens at that point, disappointment and some heartache.
No matter what develops with this relationship I am going to come away a winner. I win if it lasts and becomes that which I have blogged about and if it doesn't, well I'm still a winner as it has shown me that finding someone is possible no matter how long you've been single.
Oddly enough what transpired is exactly what I was told would happen by more than one person. I had stopped trying to meet people and had sort of just resigned myself to possibly being single when out of the blue I was sent a message on a dating site that caught my attention and soon lunch followed that has led me to the point where I no longer consider myself on the market, so to speak :)
Trust me, love is out there and sometimes it just takes a lot of efforts and patience before it finally comes to your door and kicks it in, this from years of experience, and probably not something anyone would or should want to brag about.
I'm going to keep blogging but more than likely not about dating as that area is off limits to public consumption out of respect for my partner and myself. As the saying goes, a gentleman never tells and I do consider myself a gentleman.
I look forward to resuming the blog and hope you find the future posts if not entertaining at least thought provoking.
P.S. I do enjoy the feedback and was sent one message telling me that in 2013 I posted over 100 entries and last year that number dropped to only 14 posts. There is no rhyme nor reason for the fall off other than sometimes the topic was there bouncing around that empty space for let they call my cranium and yet the motivation to put said thoughts to words was sorely lacking. I'll try and do better, scouts honour!
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
My Social Experiment
October 21/14
Zero Orchestra by Matthew Good
So last Saturday was my bachelor weekend and how did I spend it? Watched my son's first ever indoor winter soccer game, they lost 4-1 but he held his own against some of the older players with more experience, and than had lunch with my daughter and her boyfriend at Central Bierhaus.
I got there before them and while I was looking over the menu I glanced around the room and it dawned on me that the place was pretty busy with lots of conversations between the guests, wait staff, and each other. But what really caught my eye was the number of people who were texting someone while they were sitting with someone else. Least I hope they were texting someone else as how sad would it be if they were texting the person right there in front of them.....
I put the menu down and actually took a count and of the 93 people in my view, both guests and staff, over half were on a smart phone or tablet, by my count 45 at one point.
Are we so desensitized to direct communications that we no longer talk face to face or even on the phone? The last one baffles me the most as I know both of my kids text far more than they talk on the phone whereas when I was my son's age I was on the phone so much my parents had to get me my own line else they'd never have gotten a call lol
But when I think about it now most times I'm talking with someone who isn't in my presence it is usually via text and sometimes that is a bad thing...we readily exchange all kinds of messages before even getting the chance to meet face to face that it sort of takes the surprise out of the actual meeting.
I know this has happened to me on at least one occasion and it made me feel bad, like there was nothing more to discover about the other person, but I didn't really know what to do about it. Since that incident I've tried to limit how much texting I'll do with someone before we meet as I love nothing more than to watch her face as she shares her story with me, there is so much to learn about a person just by seeing what animates them as they talk with you.
So here is my social experiment for the readers....next time you are out at a public place look around and observe just how many people are on some form of electronic device versus actually communicating with the people they are with.......I'm willing to bet that your observation just might shock you..........
It is a rainy and chilly Tuesday out there so stay warm, drive safe, and remember to tell those close to you that you love them......
Zero Orchestra by Matthew Good
So last Saturday was my bachelor weekend and how did I spend it? Watched my son's first ever indoor winter soccer game, they lost 4-1 but he held his own against some of the older players with more experience, and than had lunch with my daughter and her boyfriend at Central Bierhaus.
I got there before them and while I was looking over the menu I glanced around the room and it dawned on me that the place was pretty busy with lots of conversations between the guests, wait staff, and each other. But what really caught my eye was the number of people who were texting someone while they were sitting with someone else. Least I hope they were texting someone else as how sad would it be if they were texting the person right there in front of them.....
I put the menu down and actually took a count and of the 93 people in my view, both guests and staff, over half were on a smart phone or tablet, by my count 45 at one point.
Are we so desensitized to direct communications that we no longer talk face to face or even on the phone? The last one baffles me the most as I know both of my kids text far more than they talk on the phone whereas when I was my son's age I was on the phone so much my parents had to get me my own line else they'd never have gotten a call lol
But when I think about it now most times I'm talking with someone who isn't in my presence it is usually via text and sometimes that is a bad thing...we readily exchange all kinds of messages before even getting the chance to meet face to face that it sort of takes the surprise out of the actual meeting.
I know this has happened to me on at least one occasion and it made me feel bad, like there was nothing more to discover about the other person, but I didn't really know what to do about it. Since that incident I've tried to limit how much texting I'll do with someone before we meet as I love nothing more than to watch her face as she shares her story with me, there is so much to learn about a person just by seeing what animates them as they talk with you.
So here is my social experiment for the readers....next time you are out at a public place look around and observe just how many people are on some form of electronic device versus actually communicating with the people they are with.......I'm willing to bet that your observation just might shock you..........
It is a rainy and chilly Tuesday out there so stay warm, drive safe, and remember to tell those close to you that you love them......
Thursday, October 16, 2014
I confess....I'm selfish!
October 16/14
Last night I was doing some work in my home office while my son did his homework and as is the norm with me I also took the time to look at my Facebook (FB) account and checked some emails related to the winter women's team I coach for my daughter. I actually do multitask quite well when I put my mind to it - doesn't happen often but sometimes miracles happen.
So last night on FB I came across an update from Live 88.5, the alternate station in my neck of the woods, with a link to the nights new spin preview that was from an all girl band out of Los Angeles called "Haim" and after clicking the link have to say I was pretty impressed and proceeded to download the entire album from iTunes - Yes, I do things legit when it comes to music, movies, and books online :)
So I've literally been playing the heck out of the album all day while I do my thing and have to admit one song in particular strikes a chord deep within me....
"Don't Save Me"........
For me the kicker starts with the 4th verse as it really reflects where I am at in my search for love...
It made realize that I am fully committed to finding love and can't accept anything less than the same in return.....if you can't love me enough to hold on than don't try and save me......
I've had friends tell I'm too picky when it comes to dating but my response is why should I ever settle for less than I deserve and am willing to work for??
When did it become acceptable to just settle for the sake of having a warm body next to you at night?
I like to think I respect myself far too much to ever settle. What kind of example would I be setting for my children if I let them think that settling for the sake of having a girlfriend is the way to approach a relationship.
No, I think I'll continue to be selfish and hold out for the real thing. Maybe it means a few lonely nights, maybe more than a few, but the ability to look myself in the mirror and respect the person I see looking back means far too much to me than just having someone around to keep me entertained.
I want the whole shebang.......butterflies, my last first kiss, a glance across the room that says more than words could ever communicate............
Last night I was doing some work in my home office while my son did his homework and as is the norm with me I also took the time to look at my Facebook (FB) account and checked some emails related to the winter women's team I coach for my daughter. I actually do multitask quite well when I put my mind to it - doesn't happen often but sometimes miracles happen.
So last night on FB I came across an update from Live 88.5, the alternate station in my neck of the woods, with a link to the nights new spin preview that was from an all girl band out of Los Angeles called "Haim" and after clicking the link have to say I was pretty impressed and proceeded to download the entire album from iTunes - Yes, I do things legit when it comes to music, movies, and books online :)
So I've literally been playing the heck out of the album all day while I do my thing and have to admit one song in particular strikes a chord deep within me....
"Don't Save Me"........
Never thought that I would grow so old of seeing the gold
Still I never want it to go
I would hold it up to my cold heart
Feel the way it used to start up
Still I never want it to go
I would hold it up to my cold heart
Feel the way it used to start up
Take me back, ta-ta-take me back to the way that I was before
Hungry for what was to come
Now I'm longing for the way I was
Hungry for what was to come
Now I'm longing for the way I was
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will! Ah oh!
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will! Ah oh!
Take me back
Give it up, give it up to me
Cause I cant go on if your love isn't strong
See I want it all
Give me, give me all your love
But if you can't hold on
Give it up, give it up to me
Cause I cant go on if your love isn't strong
See I want it all
Give me, give me all your love
But if you can't hold on
Then baby, baby don't save me now, no
If your love isn't strong
Baby! Don't save me now, no, no
If your love isn't strong
Baby! Don't save me now, no, no
All my life I wasn't trying to get on a high way
I was wondering which way to go
Spending all of my damn time
Leaving all the weight behind yeah
Take me back, ta-ta-take me back to the song, how'd it used to go? Oh?
Screaming for what was to come,
Now I'm dreaming 'bout the way I was
I was wondering which way to go
Spending all of my damn time
Leaving all the weight behind yeah
Take me back, ta-ta-take me back to the song, how'd it used to go? Oh?
Screaming for what was to come,
Now I'm dreaming 'bout the way I was
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will! Ah, oh!
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will! Ah, oh!
Take me back
Give it, up give it up to me
Cause I cant go on if your love isn't strong
See I want it all
Give me, give me all your love
But if you can't hold on,
Give it, up give it up to me
Cause I cant go on if your love isn't strong
See I want it all
Give me, give me all your love
But if you can't hold on,
Then baby, baby don't save me now, no
Baby don't save me now, no, no
Baby don't save me now, no, no
And if I had to beg for your love
Tell me, tell me
Would it ever be enough?
Te-te-tell me
And if I had to beg for your love
Tell me, tell me
Would it ever be enough?
Tell me, tell me
Would it ever be enough?
Te-te-tell me
And if I had to beg for your love
Tell me, tell me
Would it ever be enough?
So baby, don't save me
No Baby, don't save me
Baby, don't save me now, no, no
Baby, don't save me now, no, no
Baby, don't save me now no, no
Baby, don't save me now no, no, no
Don't save me
Don't save me
No Baby, don't save me
Baby, don't save me now, no, no
Baby, don't save me now, no, no
Baby, don't save me now no, no
Baby, don't save me now no, no, no
Don't save me
Don't save me
For me the kicker starts with the 4th verse as it really reflects where I am at in my search for love...
It made realize that I am fully committed to finding love and can't accept anything less than the same in return.....if you can't love me enough to hold on than don't try and save me......
I've had friends tell I'm too picky when it comes to dating but my response is why should I ever settle for less than I deserve and am willing to work for??
When did it become acceptable to just settle for the sake of having a warm body next to you at night?
I like to think I respect myself far too much to ever settle. What kind of example would I be setting for my children if I let them think that settling for the sake of having a girlfriend is the way to approach a relationship.
No, I think I'll continue to be selfish and hold out for the real thing. Maybe it means a few lonely nights, maybe more than a few, but the ability to look myself in the mirror and respect the person I see looking back means far too much to me than just having someone around to keep me entertained.
I want the whole shebang.......butterflies, my last first kiss, a glance across the room that says more than words could ever communicate............
Friday, September 12, 2014
An interesting message
September 12/14
My musical recommendation for the day is All I Want by Susie Suh
So I received an interesting message the other day on the dating site I've been using and it made me think about the message I've been sending with the blog, well I guess it's more accurate to say with the blog when I was actually updating it more often than lately lol
On my profile I've got some interests outlined and they include among other things Science Fiction, Military History, Sons of Anarchy, The Walking Dead, and Nicholas Sparks. It was that last one that generated the message as they were wondering how that could be possible given the first few mentioned and I replied that I try very hard not to limit myself in terms of what I read, watch, or listen to at any given time, plus I am a die hard hopeless romantic and need me some good reading to keep my spirits up and allow me to see that there is a glimmer of hope in finding love.
As we chatted via site messages it came out that we'd chatted before and she was a follower of the blog but had found it slightly intimidating to read about all the women I've dated. This reminded me of the entry I did where I outlined my numbers and how I didn't think they were really all that out of line with anyone out there. I stand by that assertion and don't think I've dated too much as I really go weeks without anything happening, sometimes my choice and more often than not the worlds choice, but that is the way the dating world works I think.
The majority of my social interactions would come along the way of meeting for a drink and I'm still taking the stance that doesn't really qualify as a date but more like a meet and greet. Of those I've had more than I care to count and of the former not nearly as much as I'd have liked.
The blog isn't meant as some forum for bragging about my dating, or to be honest my lack of success, but more for an outlet to express my thoughts and feelings about things that happened to me or are happening around me in my day to day life.
I stopped blogging on the advice of a lady friend who said I was sharing too much and eliminating the need to actually meet me. As I've thought more and more about that argument I've come to realize that if anyone thinks that what I write on this site is all that I am about or that it would allow anyone to really think they know me from my words that they aren't the person who would find me compatible nor I am them.
I used to joke that I am the conundrum wrapped inside an onion....takes patience to peel me back one layer at a time till you finally reach the real question. I mentioned that one to my ex about a year ago and she laughed and said she still isn't sure to this day after knowing me for over 20 years and two kids that she was any closer to solving me than she was when we first met lol
So please remember that when you read the blog that those observations are for but a moment in time and I am trying to evolve the person that I am each and every day. I am and hope to continue to be a work in progress until I take my very last breathe for to do anything else is to stagnate as a person and that is unacceptable to this man.
The blog is back, whether it is better or some of the same old will be left to you to reader to decide for yourselves.
Today is Friday, September 12 and the weekend is upon us so here is me wishing each of you an awesome weekend and hopefully the one meant for you might cross your path....it could happen
My musical recommendation for the day is All I Want by Susie Suh
So I received an interesting message the other day on the dating site I've been using and it made me think about the message I've been sending with the blog, well I guess it's more accurate to say with the blog when I was actually updating it more often than lately lol
On my profile I've got some interests outlined and they include among other things Science Fiction, Military History, Sons of Anarchy, The Walking Dead, and Nicholas Sparks. It was that last one that generated the message as they were wondering how that could be possible given the first few mentioned and I replied that I try very hard not to limit myself in terms of what I read, watch, or listen to at any given time, plus I am a die hard hopeless romantic and need me some good reading to keep my spirits up and allow me to see that there is a glimmer of hope in finding love.
As we chatted via site messages it came out that we'd chatted before and she was a follower of the blog but had found it slightly intimidating to read about all the women I've dated. This reminded me of the entry I did where I outlined my numbers and how I didn't think they were really all that out of line with anyone out there. I stand by that assertion and don't think I've dated too much as I really go weeks without anything happening, sometimes my choice and more often than not the worlds choice, but that is the way the dating world works I think.
The majority of my social interactions would come along the way of meeting for a drink and I'm still taking the stance that doesn't really qualify as a date but more like a meet and greet. Of those I've had more than I care to count and of the former not nearly as much as I'd have liked.
The blog isn't meant as some forum for bragging about my dating, or to be honest my lack of success, but more for an outlet to express my thoughts and feelings about things that happened to me or are happening around me in my day to day life.
I stopped blogging on the advice of a lady friend who said I was sharing too much and eliminating the need to actually meet me. As I've thought more and more about that argument I've come to realize that if anyone thinks that what I write on this site is all that I am about or that it would allow anyone to really think they know me from my words that they aren't the person who would find me compatible nor I am them.
I used to joke that I am the conundrum wrapped inside an onion....takes patience to peel me back one layer at a time till you finally reach the real question. I mentioned that one to my ex about a year ago and she laughed and said she still isn't sure to this day after knowing me for over 20 years and two kids that she was any closer to solving me than she was when we first met lol
So please remember that when you read the blog that those observations are for but a moment in time and I am trying to evolve the person that I am each and every day. I am and hope to continue to be a work in progress until I take my very last breathe for to do anything else is to stagnate as a person and that is unacceptable to this man.
The blog is back, whether it is better or some of the same old will be left to you to reader to decide for yourselves.
Today is Friday, September 12 and the weekend is upon us so here is me wishing each of you an awesome weekend and hopefully the one meant for you might cross your path....it could happen
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Goodbye my friend
On August 19th I got a call telling me one of my dearest friends had passed away unexpectedly.
I met Rich my freshman year in high school and over the course of the next decade we went through so many highs and lows together, always there to help one another.
Some of my best memories include walking from my house to his house at night and than onward to Dunkin Donuts for a maple bar and chocolate milk. We must have done this hundreds of times and probably never said more than a few words as we made that way there and back. When we were older and one of us could drive we'd head to La Jolla and go surfing almost every morning before first period, being late more often than not lol
Rich got his drivers license first and because of that we had a life long debate as to who was the better driver (me) and used to compare our driving skills to those displayed in the movie "The Driver".
We played sports but almost never the same one or on the same team. Rich was an excellent baseball player and I was average at my best but the team needed players so I joined up so they could play. I was into football and made both JV and Varsity while Rich got cut every summer, but he kept coming out hoping one day he'd make it and we'd be on the same team. Rich ended up playing soccer and I ended up over time coaching soccer lol
His passing hurts more than it should as we drifted apart when I ended my first marriage and eventually made the decision to move to Canada, both things he was against as he felt I should stay and make a loveless marriage work because that is what real men do, when in reality my leaving left him with no options but to address his own feelings for the girl we'd both cared for in high school, me openly and him deep inside himself for fear of being that guy. I knew of his feelings but it was left unsaid between the three of us.
I was happy for him when I learned a year or so after I'd left that he'd gotten up the nerve to make the move and admit his feelings for that girl who was now a woman. They spent many happy years together and I begrudged them nothing as I was far happier in my life than I'd ever been.
Over the past few years I'd tried to reach out and talk to Rich but without any luck. I'm not sure to this day if my messages never reached him or if he passed on the opportunity to meet me halfway.
I'm sad for the loss his family is feeling, his two wonderful sons, two pretty cool younger brothers, and his parents.
They'll say he has gone onto a far better place and without the pain he'd been experiencing but if I know Rich he is cruising around in that old green Dodge Dart just waiting for the chance to remind me that he is the Driver!
Rest in peace my friend and know that despite the years and distance that have separated us you've always been with me and I'll be sharing some stories about some of our adventures this weekend with my kids.
Richard Alan Cimins April 27, 1962 to August 19, 2014
I met Rich my freshman year in high school and over the course of the next decade we went through so many highs and lows together, always there to help one another.
Some of my best memories include walking from my house to his house at night and than onward to Dunkin Donuts for a maple bar and chocolate milk. We must have done this hundreds of times and probably never said more than a few words as we made that way there and back. When we were older and one of us could drive we'd head to La Jolla and go surfing almost every morning before first period, being late more often than not lol
Rich got his drivers license first and because of that we had a life long debate as to who was the better driver (me) and used to compare our driving skills to those displayed in the movie "The Driver".
We played sports but almost never the same one or on the same team. Rich was an excellent baseball player and I was average at my best but the team needed players so I joined up so they could play. I was into football and made both JV and Varsity while Rich got cut every summer, but he kept coming out hoping one day he'd make it and we'd be on the same team. Rich ended up playing soccer and I ended up over time coaching soccer lol
His passing hurts more than it should as we drifted apart when I ended my first marriage and eventually made the decision to move to Canada, both things he was against as he felt I should stay and make a loveless marriage work because that is what real men do, when in reality my leaving left him with no options but to address his own feelings for the girl we'd both cared for in high school, me openly and him deep inside himself for fear of being that guy. I knew of his feelings but it was left unsaid between the three of us.
I was happy for him when I learned a year or so after I'd left that he'd gotten up the nerve to make the move and admit his feelings for that girl who was now a woman. They spent many happy years together and I begrudged them nothing as I was far happier in my life than I'd ever been.
Over the past few years I'd tried to reach out and talk to Rich but without any luck. I'm not sure to this day if my messages never reached him or if he passed on the opportunity to meet me halfway.
I'm sad for the loss his family is feeling, his two wonderful sons, two pretty cool younger brothers, and his parents.
They'll say he has gone onto a far better place and without the pain he'd been experiencing but if I know Rich he is cruising around in that old green Dodge Dart just waiting for the chance to remind me that he is the Driver!
Rest in peace my friend and know that despite the years and distance that have separated us you've always been with me and I'll be sharing some stories about some of our adventures this weekend with my kids.
Richard Alan Cimins April 27, 1962 to August 19, 2014
Monday, May 26, 2014
My son the comedian
May 26/14
So Saturday I was grocery shopping with my son and we had one of those moments.....
As we wandered around the produce section and I literally asked him if he wanted something from each and every product available he turned to me and matter of factly asked me if it was my mission to annoy him the entire time we were in Loblaws. I smiled and replied in the affirmative whereupon he countered asking why, my response was it is the only comedy showing at the moment. He didn't find that too amusing but I knew this wasn't the end of things.
As we cruised the bakery section I was hit with a sudden craving for something sweet and noticed a small 5" cake in one of the display cases. I walked over and asked the baker if it was real frosting or that fake stuff they've gone to over the last few years, He assured it was real so I started to say I'd take it when I saw my son out of the corner of my eye shaking his head at me. I turned and asked him if he'd hold it against me and he replied in the best dead pan voice I've ever heard "I won't say anything about it" and a few seconds later added "Out loud to you but anyone else is fair game to hear this little tale"
The baker just stared at him and burst out laughing, almost dropping the cake in the process.
I smiled at him and said "Touche"
As I placec the cake box in the cart he leaned over and whispered to me "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips" and walked away laughing.
The baker smiled and asked me if it was always like this between us and I laughed and said pretty much and it was one of the best things about being his father.
I won't even mention the banter we shared when walking past the razors and hair care products lol
So Saturday I was grocery shopping with my son and we had one of those moments.....
As we wandered around the produce section and I literally asked him if he wanted something from each and every product available he turned to me and matter of factly asked me if it was my mission to annoy him the entire time we were in Loblaws. I smiled and replied in the affirmative whereupon he countered asking why, my response was it is the only comedy showing at the moment. He didn't find that too amusing but I knew this wasn't the end of things.
As we cruised the bakery section I was hit with a sudden craving for something sweet and noticed a small 5" cake in one of the display cases. I walked over and asked the baker if it was real frosting or that fake stuff they've gone to over the last few years, He assured it was real so I started to say I'd take it when I saw my son out of the corner of my eye shaking his head at me. I turned and asked him if he'd hold it against me and he replied in the best dead pan voice I've ever heard "I won't say anything about it" and a few seconds later added "Out loud to you but anyone else is fair game to hear this little tale"
The baker just stared at him and burst out laughing, almost dropping the cake in the process.
I smiled at him and said "Touche"
As I placec the cake box in the cart he leaned over and whispered to me "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips" and walked away laughing.
The baker smiled and asked me if it was always like this between us and I laughed and said pretty much and it was one of the best things about being his father.
I won't even mention the banter we shared when walking past the razors and hair care products lol
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