Ash Wednesday

Wednesday, March 01/17

So here it is almost 9pm EST and I bet a lot of you were thinking I couldn't even meet the first day of my Lent activities :)

Well how wrong you are all!!!!

No fast food, and given I was running late this morning and could have really utilized that option but stayed true to my commitment.

My nice words were for the young lady working the gas bar who was on her first day, trying so hard, and making a tonne of mistakes.......but she was trying and nothing in my life was so important that those extra few minutes she took cost me anything.......I told her it does get better and I appreciated the smile she never lost while things weren't going her way.

Now the blog entry isn't going to be too over the top but rather just a reminder that in this crazy rat race we call society that it is so important to take a moment for yourself, to just reflect on something that made you feel good inside, to tell those close to you how much you love and appreciate them, and to just breathe.

My son gave me a hug as soon as I walked through the door when I got home. Told me he loved me and I was the worlds greatest dad!!

Now I'll admit he is a bit biased but that's ok in this case as we're all biased when it comes to our family and close friends.

I considered writing about my faith and how it has evolved over time into something that both brings me comfort and makes me take a moment to think about what my beliefs really encompass. I think given the day that I'll hold off on that one for now but do promise to visit the topic in the not too distant future.

As I sat through the sermon at Holy Redeemer tonight I thought of all the people who have made me the person I am today, in conjunction with my creator, and gave silent thanks to each of them for helping shape me. It is funny when you think about the people who have had some influence on you at one point or another and the lessons they imparted that can still be applied years later.

I'm grateful to all my teachers for seeing something in the quiet kid and encouraging me in my studies, the coaches I had in various sports who never let me give less than 100% and reminded me that practises weren't just for teaching me sport specific skill sets but also how to work as a team, even with kids I might not really like all that much, to communicate with others, to be disciplined in my approach to sports, school, and life, to my family for supporting my dreams, to my children for showing me what it means to love unconditionally, and to both my ex and C for showing me what it feels like to love and be loved.

Today is only day 1 of my 40+ day Lent adventure but so far it's looking pretty good to this old man.

My name is Marcus and while I'm not perfect, I am perfectly me.

As Shrove Tuesday Transitions into Ash Wednesday........

Tuesday, February 28/17

So I'm not uber religious but do follow certain activities as they come about during the course of the year.

First among them is Ash Wednesday and the concept behind Lent.

Lent is the season in the Christian year when we focus on simple living, fasting, and sacrifice in order to grow closer to God. Lent lasts 40 days, not counting Sunday's and begins on Ash Wednesday and ends on Holy Saturday.

Like a lot of things in my life I've tended to follow this practice more recently than I did when I was a younger man. I think this is part of the whole growing older and looking back on life and wishing for a return to simpler times.

The Tuesday before Ash Wednesday is called Shrove Tuesday, or more commonly Pancake Tuesday. The thought being that with the advent of Ash Wednesday people would feast on Tuesday and reduce the amount of sugars and flour within their homes. I've never been a big Pancake Tuesday guy and still aren't, which is kind of surprising in that I really do like pancakes.

So I was mulling over my sacrifice for this years Lent and have settled upon fast food.

That's right......no fast food between now and Easter Sunday.

This will be a good test of my will as sometimes its so easy to just grab something after a long day at work but I'm determined not to break my Lent sacrifice. It will be both spiritually and physically good for me to keep this vow.

I'm also introducing something new to my Lent this year in that I'm going to take a vow to do something every day versus just giving something up.

Mine will actually be two-fold.

I'm going to post a blog entry every single day of Lent. Now not every posting will be earth shattering but the mere prospect of writing daily will hopefully get me back on track with the blog as it's become so easy to just come home from work and literally collapse on the couch from being so mentally drained and instead of doing something good for myself I vegetate with Moki.

I'm going to say something nice to someone each and every day. This can be as simple as wishing a stranger a good day as we pass each other to a more direct compliment on how nice someone looks.

So there you have it, pretty simple and yet doable if I just put my mind to it.

Do you follow Lent?

What are you giving up for the next 40+ days?

Marcus

Lazy Sunday

Sunday, February 19/17

So today is the hump day of a three day weekend and sort of my lazy day.

Yesterday was about watching my son play in the championship game of his indoor soccer season, they went down 1-0 on a very well executed corner kick play, some errands, and ended with a nice home cooked meal with a glass of wine while watching some Netflix.

I guess that is a pretty common Saturday for me when I'm in my bachelor weekend. I'd love to say I was spending it with a lovely woman getting to know her better but that is going to entail me taking more chances by putting myself out there a bit more.

I'm at peace with myself in terms of my relationship status, for the most part, and like I mentioned before, just going to let things happen as they happen, without putting any pressure on myself anymore.

At my age I'm not entirely sure that love is a real possibility anymore as people do tend to get somewhat set in their ways and less likely to be open to the whole give and take that love requires us to make in order to have things work out.

I thought I was really good at the whole give and take thing but still found myself on the short end of the call so now I'm a bit more wary of things as getting hurt sort of sucks big time. No, this is not me venting or pointing fingers at anyone, far from it as I've owned up to the mistakes I made with C  and tried my best to let things go and move on.

So today I'm doing some early spring cleaning by going through my closet and my son's closet and gathering up those items we don't wear anymore and making a run over to Value Village so someone else can get some nice use out of them.

I'll probably take a first look at my taxes as well and see where I stand on a refund or owing Justin's Liberals some money for them to waste on any number of boondoggles they've come up with, not like they are keeping many of their election promises.

I debated taking a drive out in the country and still might, there's always the option of going to see a movie, or another night in with Moki curled up in my lap and some Netflix. Aren't single guys supposed to lead more interesting lives?

So what is your Sunday looking like?

Marcus

How Ambitious Are You?

Saturday, February 18/17

So there is a dating website where they ask you a series of questions in an attempt to determine what key characteristics would make a good match for you and thus show you profiles that meet these traits.

Now this really shouldn't come as any shock as I don't think there is a dating site/app that doesn't do the same thing in an attempt to set themselves apart from all the others in the marketplace.

But somehow along the way they come up with a determination of one's ambition.

Wait, what?, are you kidding me?

Ambition is defined as "a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work"

By that definition aren't we all ambitious in one way or another?

Doesn't the mere fact that a person has gone to the effort to create a dating profile signify some type of ambition?

I mean why else go to the bother at all?

Now that we've established, well sort of anyways, that we are all ambitious, lets go a little deeper on the subject and see where it leads us.

I don't see us ending up down the rabbit hole or lost in the woods so I don't think we need to leave a trail of bread crumbs in order to find our way back home.

Am I ambitious?

Yes and no.

Not what you were expecting to hear after the opening to this blog was it?

Well I've said from day one that I'm going to be as honest as I can be as long as it doesn't hurt anyone other than myself, so that is how I view myself, I am ambitious at times and not so much at others, it's probably good to say that my ambition varies depending on things going on in my life.

When I was younger I was AMBITIOUS. Career wise that is, I'd work crazy hours to get things done and show those in charge that I was the one they wanted working on key projects.

But that changed over time, the arrival of my kids has had a huge impact on my life and how I view things, and to a certain extent the level of my ambition when it comes to certain areas of my life.

These days I'd say I'm at a medium to high level of ambition when it comes to my work and probably a low level when it comes to dating.

Work is easy to determine as I'm really enjoying the new job, creating the processes by which we'll be able to meet our reporting requirements to senior management and the board, and clearing a tonne of special projects off my to do list. Once we get a controller on board it will be even better as it means I won't be covering off half that job on a daily basis.

Not entirely sure why I think my dating ambitions are low but if I had to say I'd probably notch it up the season more than anything, I don't know why but dating in the winter is especially hard for me for some reason, mostly because winter dates are usually meet ups for a drink and they can tend to feel like an interview. Summer and Fall dates are way better as we can get outside for an activity, maybe play a round of golf, hit the driving range, walk the canal, hike the Gatineau's, or meet up at the dog park and watch our pooches run around making new friends.

Possibly another reason it's low is my being an introvert makes it so much harder on me to meet people, I'm not the kind of guy who is going to walk up to a woman I find attractive in the produce section at Loblaws and strike up a conversation out of the blue. Oh God how I wish I had that in me to do but the all powerful made me better with the written word than he did with those expressed verbally. Guess I could lug a laptop and portable printer around with me for just those moments but that alone might be enough to send any potential date running for her life..........

So I'll go with this......I am ambitious at times and not so much the rest of the time. Does this hurt me in any way? I'd say yes as it means I might not have my eyes open to possibilities as they cross my path.

But on the other hand I've always been a firm believer that love happens on it's own and nothing you do can speed it up or slow it down in any way.

Love is organic. It is....simple as that........you can help it along by creating profiles that put your appearance out there for public viewing on the off chance someone comes along and says to themselves "Huh, that one looks kind of cute, He can even communicate in complete sentences with words having more than one syllable"

So that is what I've done. I've been ambitious enough to create a profile that offers a glimpse of who I am, a glimpse and nothing more as there is so much to me that I can't put into words, least not words that would truly do me justice.

But I'm not so ambitious that I visit the site daily or tweak said profile that much.

So are you ambitious, and if so at what?

Marcus






 

A Most Interesting Thursday

Thursday, February 16/17

I woke up expecting nothing out of the ordinary to happen and found that to so not be the case in the end.

I've got a post pending that will give a little background on something in this post but didn't want to delay tonight's entry while I finish the other one........it will make sense in a moment, trust me

So my son spent last night at his mom's as she got back from her annual winter getaway on Monday and because this took place over her custody week she didn't get to see too much of our son, me being the all around nice guy that I am, I offered up the opportunity to have him one night this week so she picked Wednesday night.

All that being said to say that I wasn't in my usual rush this morning for that reason as well as the optometrist appointment I had booked for 8:30 this morning.

Upon checking in I was shown back to have my eyes checked and dilated, but before that happened the technician smiled at me and said she loved my blog.

Yes, she came right out and told me that and you can imagine my surprise and slight embarrassment as well. She mentioned she had come across my old dating profile a while back and on it I'd placed a link to the blog, long since taken down so don't bother searching for it, and followed it to see what it was all about.

I sort of laughed and I'm pretty confident I might have blushed a bit too.

The best part came when she told me that reading it made her think about things. I don't think anyone who writes for the public could ask for a better outcome, and this guy was walking on clouds after that.

The last thing that happened to make this one interesting Thursday came about after I'd gotten to work and been toiling away trying to complete the January results binderw.

My ex and I had been texting over the course of the morning about our son and his upcoming trip to Europe, trying to decide how much spending and meal money he needed in Euros and Swiss Francs, who was going to get it, and how much the other would owe for their share.  We are pretty good about sharing the costs of raising that boy, even though we have shared custody with no child support to one another, we still split the major costs equally and do a settlement at month end to make sure things are in balance.

Well around 11:45 my cell pinged I had a new text message so I looked down to see it was from her and had a series of smiling faces....no words, just the smiling emoji's, a lot of them.

I opened up my messages just in time to see a group message from her to me and our kids with the following "Guess who just got accepted to Carleton in his first choice program?"

I let out a whoop and fist pumped the air in excitement, momentarily forgetting where I was and attracted the attention of our CEO as she was walking by our group. She came over and asked what was up and I just smiled and said my son had just been accepted to university.

She told me that was amazing and gave me a quick hug of congratulations. She's kind of a touchy feely boss but means well so we let her get away with it lol

My coworkers all offered me smiles and one asked if those were tears she saw in my eyes........

I did have some and not afraid to admit it, colour me one proud father.

Back in 2015 I commented on how things happen in 3's and here we are in 2017 and I've now had another string of 3 good events.......my grandson, the comment about the blog by Wendy, and now my son getting into University.

My name is Marcus and I'm doing pretty damn good right now :)

Happy Valentines Day

Tuesday, February 14/17

Just a simple entry tonight wishing everyone a Happy Valentine's Day.

I'll be having a nice glass of wine, watching a movie while the snow falls once again outside my front window, and snuggling with a special girl.

Moki!

Ah the life of a single man....it's not all wild weekends, sexy vixens running around, or 3am poker parties.

Anyways, I just wanted to drop by and say hello, I'm doing fine, and should be posting a few blog entries over the next few days.

As always, yours in blogging

Marcus

Some Statistics About The Blog

Monday, January 30/17

So I was reviewing the statistics that the website keeps on my blog and have to say I'd lost track of just how many time's I'd had a hit so here are a few tidbits to ponder.......

There were approximately 234 hits yesterday across numerous postings
Over the last month the blog has been viewed almost 2,200 times
Life to date the blog has seen 15,390 visits

The funny part was I remember trying to get my totals to 8K by the end of 2014 and a little over a year later it's almost doubled.

But one that has me scratching my head is the number of views that come from outside of Canada.....

Of the last 1,344 views, exactly 1,188 have come from the U.S. and only 127 from Canada.

Not sure to say I'm proud or worried by those numbers.

Oddly enough I had a nice conversation with a young woman at the Petro Canada last night when we were both inside paying for gas and she mentioned being from Texas, her accent sort of gave that away but I didn't have the heart to tell her that, and what mess it is down there, almost like things are going bad so fast that she actually used the phrase "civil war" when talking about things.

I hope beyond all hope that it doesn't come even close to such a thing but these are crazy times we are living through right now.

I'm neither Republican nor Democrat, though I did vote for each party when I lived in the states, nor am I more Conservative than Liberal, though once again I've crossed party lines and voted my conscience more often than not.

No, I've tended to vote for the person I felt could do the best regardless of political affiliation.

Sadly, the last few elections haven't really brought forth any candidate from any party that I felt was worthy of my vote and I ended up choosing the one I felt could do the least amount of damage.

Pretty sure that wasn't what the founding fathers had in mind back in 1776 or the giants of confederation back in 1867.

We now live in a world where your opinion only matters if it is in agreement with the vocal minority and is trashed if it goes against what they are putting forward as this weeks agenda.

I read an interesting story today about an idea being floated around that California, Oregon, and Washington should all consider exiting the U.S. and becoming part of Canada. Now the liberals will embrace this as those are three far left leaning states but I'm willing to bet even money that the conservatives in British Columbia, Alberta, and Saskatchewan will want no part of this plan.

How about those people feeling some kind of anguish over the election stay down there and try and work from within to fix what is a most assuredly a broken system before deciding to run away up north and possibly ruin our way of life.

Netflix's Riverdale........triggered a little trip down memory lane

Saturday, January 28/17

So I stumbled across the new Netflix series titled Riverdale and clicked on the preview only to find out it is an updated version of the old Archie comic books brought to life.

The trailer was good and I proceeded to watch the initial episode in the series.

Oh My God!!!!!!!

It completely blew my mind as they've managed to bring the comic book series into the here and now, while retaining the basic traits of each of the original characters.

Without giving too much away, let me just say it is a comedy that appears to have spent one very drunken night of debauchery with a possible murder mystery.

But the best part is that it brought back to mind some damn good memories from my childhood.

When I was but a wee lad I'd spend my summers in Regina visiting with my grandfather and hanging out with my cousins David and Ronnie. Being a year and a half and eight months older than me they were the closest cousins I had age wise, and many was the time we got into trouble out at Long Lake.

Every Saturday we'd walk down from the cottage to the village to go to Butlers Fish & Chips for lunch before hitting the convenience store a bottle of Coke and a comic book. My cousins were into all of the super heroes and I was totally into Archie and the gang. Secretly in love with Veronica and knowing somehow even at that young age that Betty would be the better choice......lady out and about but probably a freak behind closed doors.  Don't ask me how I knew that and I won't be forced to admit about my dark side..........

Mixed between those summers and the weekends we'd visit my grandparents in Huntington Beach and sneaking over to my Aunt's place and spreading all of my cousin Rudy's Charlie Brown comic books out across the floor and getting lost for hours were probably some of my best memories around my youth.

Life has a way of making you grow up and any chance I can get to stop for a moment and relive a nice childhood memory is pure icing on the cake.

What triggers that smile and lost moment in you?

My son came down to the man cave to see the last few moments of the show and smiled at me when I told him that was the one comic I loved to read. "A little nostalgia is good for the soul" was his reply and as usual, he was far more on point that he knows.

My name is Marcus and it's okay to visit the memory treasure vault now and again as long as you take a return ticket and make sure not to miss that flight home.

Great End to a Long Day

Thursday, January 26/17

So it has been a really long week at work as we try and close out the 2016 fiscal year and prepare the system for the cutover. I can honestly say I dread the moment I have to push the button closing out one year in Dynamics and moving onto the next year as I'm always convinced some system gremlin is going to move a decimal or two around and none of my reports will balance......hey, it could happen

When I got home tonight I let Moki out for a run in the backyard and powered up my home PC to check my emails, new job has so many damn web filters and actually blocked us from accessing Google mail but does let staff watch YouTube videos.........

Once the puppy was done I went to back to the PC and did a quick scan to see if there was anything important that needed my attention when I spotted one email from a former player from the soccer team I've coached over the past few summers.

I first encountered Daniel back in 2008 when he was on the academy team I helped coach and he's played on teams I've coached three of the last five years, including the competitive Boys Under 16 team back in 2015. You can say that I've literally watched this young man grow up over the years and enjoyed the wit and banter he brought to each of the teams.

His email was to tell me he had made the decision to apply to the engineering program at The University of Toronto and they were requesting a reference from someone who knew him away from the academic environment, wondering if he could give them my name and contact information as he couldn't think of anyone better qualified to talk about him in that way.

I got a huge smile and quickly sent back my consent and now the waiting game begins.

I'm actually an old hand at this these days as I think Daniel is now around the 17th or 18th former player who has made such a request. Over the years I've been a reference for players trying to gain admission to medical school, engineering programs, law school, and more than a few times for nursing candidates. Of that group I'd say the success rate is close to 95% which also makes me smile as each of them was very deserving of admission.

One of the best references I've ever been asked to give and done so with huge success was former player from one of the girls teams I coached who was seeking admission to a United Nations program that saw her spend a year dealing with health care in Africa. To this day I see her parents around west Ottawa now and again and love to hear how she's doing.

I loved coaching teams to championships, watching players develop skills, gain self confidence, but most of all I love the fact that years later I can still help them reach for their dreams.......

My name is Marcus and life is good...............

T A L K ! ! !

Wednesday, January 25/17

I was asked why the big recent emphasis on talking to someone and getting a mental tune up and the answer is really quite simple.

As a boy I grew up in the environment where it wasn't considered masculine to show emotions or talk about your feelings.

Sayings like "Don't coddle the boy or he'll grow up a sissy", "Crying is for girls", "do you need a dolly to go along with those sniffles", and "big boys don't cry" were common for a young boy to hear when he displayed anything other than a tough attitude.

I was fortunate to get to spend a lot of summers with my maternal grandfather when I was growing up and one of the biggest things he taught me to never be afraid to show how something makes you feel. This might not sound so earth shattering but this was back in the late 60's and early 70'snd came from a master mason who was probably one of the toughest men I've ever had the good fortune to be around.

Much of the man I am today I can trace back to my grandfather and the insights he would pass along to me during our endless walks around Regina, time spent out at Long lake working on his numerous rental cottages, and at the dinner table in the evening when he'd cut up some potatoes and fry them up into French fries and we'd drench them with salt and vinegar.

I've tried my best to instill those same traits into my own children and think so far I've been pretty successful as both of them have talked to me about pretty much everything and anything going on in their lives.  Sometimes these talks have been awesome, made me smile and laugh, and other times I've been uncomfortable and a bit sad at some of the things they've heard or seen. But the key is that I was always there for them to talk too about these things. I don't always have an answer and that's ok as sometimes there really are no answers to what is happening in our lives, but them knowing they can always talk to me or their mother means they will never have to face an issue alone.

I worry about both my kids all the time as it is a goddamn scary world we live in but all I can do is hope I've done my best and instilled in them the moral compass they need to make the correct decision with the situation warrants one be made.

One thing I've learned from all my talks are the small tells that let me know when something is slightly off with my son, especially around exam time, and that helps me try and head things off before they get too bad.

School brings an incredible amount of stress so my message has always been give it your best effort and if things don't turn out as you'd hoped, at least you can look yourself in the mirror and know you did your best. I wasn't the brightest kid in school but when I got to university I learned how to be a good student and it carried on into my MBA program.  I'm seeing a lot of that in my son so while there are times I know he struggles, I also know he has it in himself to overcome the challenges and we are always able to get him tutoring as needed.

The biggest thing I do is listen when they talk to me. I don't just listen to the words but which words they choose and what their body language is like, both provide tonnes of feedback.

In the end the most precious gift we can ever bestow upon those we love is to simply be there for them in whatever capacity they need us.

As I look at my grandson I can already foresee a lot of chats as we walk to the park, through Chapters, and hopefully a round or two of golf. I'm hoping to give to him what my own grandfather gave to me.....unconditional love and understanding

Marcus

Bell Let's Talk......this Wednesday, January 25th

This Wednesday, January 25th is the annual Bell "Let's Talk" event to develop awareness of mental health disease and offer those fighting it a chance to talk to someone, to share a story, and maybe secure a lifeline in the battle against depression.

If you are on the Bell network please send a text or many texts as each one generates a 5 cent donation from Bell Canada to mental health organizations across Canada.

If you aren't on the Bell network or live outside of Canada than take a moment and just say hello to someone you come across......you never know if that simple act and smile might help someone dealing with a tough day and keep them moving forward once more...........

My name is Marcus and the scourge of depression is very real and destroys families every day. Join the fight and open up peoples eyes to one of our biggest underfunded health issues.

The Tune Up

Sunday, January 22/17

One of my first ever blogs talked about how I believe it's important to talk to someone when dramatic or even traumatic events happen in your life. You need to be able to get things off your chest, hear the words and not just replay the thoughts in your mind, and have someone offer you some feedback on the event, what part you played in it, and what you can do to recover, learn, and move forward from it.

When I first separated from my ex I spend the first year trying to understand where we went wrong. Not so I could correct those things about myself in order to win her back but so I could learn from them and hopefully not duplicate them in any future relationships I might enter into.

I've gone back now and again over the years to talk to my person for what I like to call a tune up.

Getting an emotional tune up makes perfect sense. We get our cars tuned up so why not do so for the most complicated machine we'll ever own.....our minds

When my son got sick and almost died on us back in '09 it was those talks and that one special night with Miss Laura that allowed me to retain my sanity and kept me moving forward one step and day at a time.

Now to remind each of you, that night with Miss Laura was purely an emotional release and didn't involve any kind of sexual contact. She sensed my fragile state of mind, how tightly wound I was from dealing with my son's sickness, and took it upon herself to get me rip roaring drunk so I was able to really release my feelings. I've never seen her since that night but know that I'll always be in her debt for what she did for me.

Now lately I've found myself feeling really emotional, literally almost crying at the drop of a hat, so I knew it was time for a tune up and made the call to book an appointment.

Sometimes it just takes one to make me feel like I've got a handle on things and sometimes I'm there for a few sessions, but in the end I always come around and start to feel back in control of my life.

The first part of that initial session is always hard as I don't always know what the trigger point was that brought me in but my doctor is patient and she knows how to get me to open up and begin the process.

I went in for a visit this past Wednesday and her first question to me was "How is your love life?, Are you seeing anyone?, Are you dating?"

"Non-existent, no, and no" was my response and that made her smile.

"Why are you smiling?"

"You didn't hesitate before replying so that means it is something on your mind whether you realize it or not"

I sat there and thought about her response and what she had to say makes sense as I do feel like something is missing in my life.

In prior years I've never really given being single much thought as I was content with how my life was progressing and couldn't miss what I hadn't had in quite awhile.

She made me talk about my relationship with C and how the ending of that one was really on me for the most part, how I've been avoiding putting myself out there as I'm not the most patient person when it comes to dealing with other people.

As I said those last words she sort of raised one eyebrow as if to say why not and get me to confess that I don't suffer fools easily and that is one of my biggest weaknesses as a person, the inability to see a person for something other than how they can stimulate me mentally.

Last year when I went in for my tune up I didn't actually see her as she was on a sabbatical and in Europe so we never got to talk about my relationship with C so I think she used this session to get a feel for it and how I felt about her.

She asked me what I missed the most about being in a relationship, not my relationship specifically with C but a relationship in it's most basic terms.

The first thought that came to mind was presence. The presence of someone in my life who took an interest in me, what made me well me, as I would do the same for her. We talked about this in general terms for a bit and ended the session with this question...........

"What is the first reaction you feel when I say C's name?"

"My heart skips a beat" was my instant answer

She made a note and than looked at me and said "Maybe but your eyes got a little gleam when I said her name"

"Do you miss her body?"

I think one of the reasons I like my therapist is she doesn't hold back and is always putting me on the spot, not giving me time to think about my answer but rather getting me to respond in an almost shot gun approach so the rawness comes out at the same time.

"Yes, but it's really more than just that, it's the essence of who she was, how she made me feel when I was around her, and mostly how I felt when we were apart, the sense of joy for life she forced past my barriers."

Our session came to an end and as I was getting ready to leave she looked at me, smiled, and said "You are more ready to date than you realize, you just have to accept that you deserve some joy once again in your life"

I'm not going to argue and say she is wrong but I don't think she fully understands how damn difficult I find meeting new people, let alone an attractive woman who might catch my eye. Think I've got more chance of a hole in one than I do of meeting my one again......but since it's still statistically possible for that elusive hole in one than I guess finding love is also possible..........

My name is Marcus and I don't think talking about an issue or problem is ever a bad thing, but sometimes that first conversation can be daunting, hang in there and remember this, if you can't like the person you are how can you ever expect anyone else to like the person you are........

Almost a Perfect Saturday

Sunday, January 22/17

I had almost a perfect Saturday yesterday.

Started off with taking Moki for a walk, getting my haircut, a quick breakfast, and watching my son score the game winner in his soccer teams game.

After his game I hit WalMart for some new jeans and boxer briefs (Too much info? too bad, it's my blog lol) and than Loblaws for a grocery run.

Once home I did another quick Spackle job on the bathroom in anticipation of painting it on Sunday, had a nap, and than headed over to my daughters place to visit with her, Lee, and my grandson.

Okay, we all know seeing my grandson alone would have made it almost perfect but there was more.

Lee has been studying for his real estate exam and offered to stay home with Baby Jack so my daughter and I could go to Ikea and grab an early dinner. This gave him some solo one on one time with his son and let him avoid Ikea as he absolutely hates the place, loves the products but hates to go into the store.

My daughter and I wandered around Ikea and found a few things we each needed before heading over to The Big Rig for a nice meal.  I've been craving wings and added a cold half pint of "Gold" to make a great combination, she had the fish and chips with a small 5 oz glass of the "Gold" as well. We talked and laughed about a wide variety of topics and had a great time.

Once back at her place I got to spend some more time holding my awesome grandson and pretty much left feeling on top of the world.

Life can get hectic but just thinking about that little guy puts a smile on my face and eases away all the stress.

My daughter know this and has taken to sending me a new picture of him every day - think she knows her father pretty damn well.

So why am I saying it's "Almost a perfect Saturday?"

Well I've got to be honest and admit that coming home to an empty house was sort of a bummer. It would have been nice to either share these with someone in person or have the "one" to call and talk about my amazing day, making plans to do it with her very soon.

But I'm not going to get all down about it....can't as I'm sure Jack wouldn't be happy if he learned his grandpa was feeling sad.......he does know his grandpa pretty well :-)

Today has been doing the touch up painting on the repaired spots on the wall in the bathroom and now I'm getting ready to watch the Packers and Falcons play for the right to go onto the Super Bowl.

Go Packers!!!!!!!!!!

My name is Marcus and while life isn't perfect it's far from being all that bad so I'll take what life brings me :)