A hug out of the blue that meant so much.

December 01/13

So as I've written more than once in the past, I'm a soccer coach and have been one on and off since 1996 starting with my daughter and transitioning over to my son's teams back in 2011.

Over the course of all those years I've had some amazing teams and some that left me scratching my head in wonder as to why I ever got involved in coaching - spoiler alert, my ex volunteered me lol

Back in 2012 I had probably one of the best teams I've ever coached, they won 16 of 17 games and the only blemish was a tie that was literally given to the other team by an incompetent referee - not my words but the coach from the other team who felt we had been robbed, nice to see sportsmanship alive and well :)

My 2012 team was strong across the board with one exception. We were assigned a player who we'll call M, now M has Aspergers Syndrome and according to his mom hadn't really enjoyed soccer prior to that season. I took it as a challenge to make sure he improved and had the best season of his young career but than went one step further when I tasked my son and two other players with looking out for M. I thought that if J, Z, and L all showed the team how much they cared about M that they would buy in as well and help him have a great season. As testimony to the kind of young men they all were, the season became a challenge to get M a goal, one they used set plays, trick plays, and wanted him left on the pitch for as long as he could run all in the desire to see him score. Now I'd love to say we got M his goal that season but we didn't, not for lack of trying that's for damned sure.

When the 2013 team list came out sure enough there was M assigned to my team once more. When I mentioned this to Chris, my assistant coach, he laughed and said the league must know how much M needs us in order to have a good season and I thought for a moment and said maybe what they know is how much I need M in order to be a good coach. Chris asked me what I meant and I said that having M around made me feel like a better coach in that it wasn`t all about the wins and goals anymore.

This season we were able to get M his first goal, well M did most of the work himself and I`ve posted before about the reaction we shared and the tears I let fall freely without any conscious thought.

Seems that the players from that 2012 team who advanced on to play in the U15/16 age division kept tabs on M and his progress as on Friday I was reminded about my challenge to those 3 players when I bumped into L when I stopped to buy some milk.

As I was coming out of the Quickie, L was coming down the sidewalk and when he saw me this huge smile lit his face up and instead of taking my outstretched hand for a handshake he wrapped both arms around me in a huge hug and said ``Way to go coach getting M his goal`` At first I was a little confused but soon realized what he meant and tried to explain how it was all M with some effort from J & Z to set him up (J being my son and Z being my assistant`s son). He smiled and said that might be true but my talk with them about taking M under their wings was what set it all in motion and made each of them realize what a special opportunity they had to do something nice for another person. We chatted for a moment and than went our separate ways, leaving me feeling a bit better on a somewhat cold and dreary night.

When I saw my son today as we helped his sister move into her own place he asked me if I`d cried any lately with a twinkle in his eye. I stopped what I was doing and looked at him and asked why that question and he said L had texted him on Friday to let him know he`d run into me and gave me a huge hug for M`s goal and to make sure he let me know there were still a few more players from the 2012 team looking to reward me for making M`s season............

There are times I despair at what I see when watching teenagers and than there are times like these when I know all it takes is some time and effort to help them realize the potential they all have inside.

With hockey now in full swing the odds are good that those other players will find me long before December comes to a close and while I know each meeting will result in some tears on my part, I can't wait for a couple more hugs as these young men express some joy in seeing another person succeed. All is not lost with our youth...as long as they turn out like these gentlemen have, things don't look too bad for us.........