When did religion become the cause of death?
When did religion become the focal point of one person taking up arms to quench the rights of another to an opinion?
I know that my own religion, Roman Catholicism, is fraught with examples of it being used to foment violence against others, even death and torture, but I'd like to think we moved past that stage....oh lets say at the time of the great crusades.
Have we not evolved enough as a species that seeing one man criticize something we believe in doesn't lead us to take up arms but rather use our voices to have a debate, whether it be in quiet one on one or loudly in a group setting.
I weep for the lives lost in Paris last week and the families that won't see a father or mother come home tonight, a son or daughter every again.
I weep for the stringent security measures this will cause in the coming weeks and months as France, nay I dare say all of Europe, struggles with these horrific actions and how to cope with the potential for more such acts.
But mostly I weep for the human race as we can't seem to overcome the most base instinct to strike out and physically hurt someone who has offended us in some way.
There are those who will condemn Islam for these acts but let me remind you that the actions of a few don't reflect the thoughts of the many.
I am Charlie Hedbo and my pen shall prove stronger than the sword time immemorial........
Sunday, January 11, 2015
2015
January 15, 2015
So 2014 has come and gone and now we are at the start of a new year. I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and were able to enjoy time spent with family, friends, and loved ones.
For the first time in many years I did not spend part of Christmas Eve/Day alone as I was fortunate enough to meet someone back in the fall and we've had that hard to understand click occur between us.
Now it is still early days so I'm doing my best not to get over excited or rush things as we all know what usually happens at that point, disappointment and some heartache.
No matter what develops with this relationship I am going to come away a winner. I win if it lasts and becomes that which I have blogged about and if it doesn't, well I'm still a winner as it has shown me that finding someone is possible no matter how long you've been single.
Oddly enough what transpired is exactly what I was told would happen by more than one person. I had stopped trying to meet people and had sort of just resigned myself to possibly being single when out of the blue I was sent a message on a dating site that caught my attention and soon lunch followed that has led me to the point where I no longer consider myself on the market, so to speak :)
Trust me, love is out there and sometimes it just takes a lot of efforts and patience before it finally comes to your door and kicks it in, this from years of experience, and probably not something anyone would or should want to brag about.
I'm going to keep blogging but more than likely not about dating as that area is off limits to public consumption out of respect for my partner and myself. As the saying goes, a gentleman never tells and I do consider myself a gentleman.
I look forward to resuming the blog and hope you find the future posts if not entertaining at least thought provoking.
P.S. I do enjoy the feedback and was sent one message telling me that in 2013 I posted over 100 entries and last year that number dropped to only 14 posts. There is no rhyme nor reason for the fall off other than sometimes the topic was there bouncing around that empty space for let they call my cranium and yet the motivation to put said thoughts to words was sorely lacking. I'll try and do better, scouts honour!
So 2014 has come and gone and now we are at the start of a new year. I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and were able to enjoy time spent with family, friends, and loved ones.
For the first time in many years I did not spend part of Christmas Eve/Day alone as I was fortunate enough to meet someone back in the fall and we've had that hard to understand click occur between us.
Now it is still early days so I'm doing my best not to get over excited or rush things as we all know what usually happens at that point, disappointment and some heartache.
No matter what develops with this relationship I am going to come away a winner. I win if it lasts and becomes that which I have blogged about and if it doesn't, well I'm still a winner as it has shown me that finding someone is possible no matter how long you've been single.
Oddly enough what transpired is exactly what I was told would happen by more than one person. I had stopped trying to meet people and had sort of just resigned myself to possibly being single when out of the blue I was sent a message on a dating site that caught my attention and soon lunch followed that has led me to the point where I no longer consider myself on the market, so to speak :)
Trust me, love is out there and sometimes it just takes a lot of efforts and patience before it finally comes to your door and kicks it in, this from years of experience, and probably not something anyone would or should want to brag about.
I'm going to keep blogging but more than likely not about dating as that area is off limits to public consumption out of respect for my partner and myself. As the saying goes, a gentleman never tells and I do consider myself a gentleman.
I look forward to resuming the blog and hope you find the future posts if not entertaining at least thought provoking.
P.S. I do enjoy the feedback and was sent one message telling me that in 2013 I posted over 100 entries and last year that number dropped to only 14 posts. There is no rhyme nor reason for the fall off other than sometimes the topic was there bouncing around that empty space for let they call my cranium and yet the motivation to put said thoughts to words was sorely lacking. I'll try and do better, scouts honour!
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
My Social Experiment
October 21/14
Zero Orchestra by Matthew Good
So last Saturday was my bachelor weekend and how did I spend it? Watched my son's first ever indoor winter soccer game, they lost 4-1 but he held his own against some of the older players with more experience, and than had lunch with my daughter and her boyfriend at Central Bierhaus.
I got there before them and while I was looking over the menu I glanced around the room and it dawned on me that the place was pretty busy with lots of conversations between the guests, wait staff, and each other. But what really caught my eye was the number of people who were texting someone while they were sitting with someone else. Least I hope they were texting someone else as how sad would it be if they were texting the person right there in front of them.....
I put the menu down and actually took a count and of the 93 people in my view, both guests and staff, over half were on a smart phone or tablet, by my count 45 at one point.
Are we so desensitized to direct communications that we no longer talk face to face or even on the phone? The last one baffles me the most as I know both of my kids text far more than they talk on the phone whereas when I was my son's age I was on the phone so much my parents had to get me my own line else they'd never have gotten a call lol
But when I think about it now most times I'm talking with someone who isn't in my presence it is usually via text and sometimes that is a bad thing...we readily exchange all kinds of messages before even getting the chance to meet face to face that it sort of takes the surprise out of the actual meeting.
I know this has happened to me on at least one occasion and it made me feel bad, like there was nothing more to discover about the other person, but I didn't really know what to do about it. Since that incident I've tried to limit how much texting I'll do with someone before we meet as I love nothing more than to watch her face as she shares her story with me, there is so much to learn about a person just by seeing what animates them as they talk with you.
So here is my social experiment for the readers....next time you are out at a public place look around and observe just how many people are on some form of electronic device versus actually communicating with the people they are with.......I'm willing to bet that your observation just might shock you..........
It is a rainy and chilly Tuesday out there so stay warm, drive safe, and remember to tell those close to you that you love them......
Zero Orchestra by Matthew Good
So last Saturday was my bachelor weekend and how did I spend it? Watched my son's first ever indoor winter soccer game, they lost 4-1 but he held his own against some of the older players with more experience, and than had lunch with my daughter and her boyfriend at Central Bierhaus.
I got there before them and while I was looking over the menu I glanced around the room and it dawned on me that the place was pretty busy with lots of conversations between the guests, wait staff, and each other. But what really caught my eye was the number of people who were texting someone while they were sitting with someone else. Least I hope they were texting someone else as how sad would it be if they were texting the person right there in front of them.....
I put the menu down and actually took a count and of the 93 people in my view, both guests and staff, over half were on a smart phone or tablet, by my count 45 at one point.
Are we so desensitized to direct communications that we no longer talk face to face or even on the phone? The last one baffles me the most as I know both of my kids text far more than they talk on the phone whereas when I was my son's age I was on the phone so much my parents had to get me my own line else they'd never have gotten a call lol
But when I think about it now most times I'm talking with someone who isn't in my presence it is usually via text and sometimes that is a bad thing...we readily exchange all kinds of messages before even getting the chance to meet face to face that it sort of takes the surprise out of the actual meeting.
I know this has happened to me on at least one occasion and it made me feel bad, like there was nothing more to discover about the other person, but I didn't really know what to do about it. Since that incident I've tried to limit how much texting I'll do with someone before we meet as I love nothing more than to watch her face as she shares her story with me, there is so much to learn about a person just by seeing what animates them as they talk with you.
So here is my social experiment for the readers....next time you are out at a public place look around and observe just how many people are on some form of electronic device versus actually communicating with the people they are with.......I'm willing to bet that your observation just might shock you..........
It is a rainy and chilly Tuesday out there so stay warm, drive safe, and remember to tell those close to you that you love them......
Thursday, October 16, 2014
I confess....I'm selfish!
October 16/14
Last night I was doing some work in my home office while my son did his homework and as is the norm with me I also took the time to look at my Facebook (FB) account and checked some emails related to the winter women's team I coach for my daughter. I actually do multitask quite well when I put my mind to it - doesn't happen often but sometimes miracles happen.
So last night on FB I came across an update from Live 88.5, the alternate station in my neck of the woods, with a link to the nights new spin preview that was from an all girl band out of Los Angeles called "Haim" and after clicking the link have to say I was pretty impressed and proceeded to download the entire album from iTunes - Yes, I do things legit when it comes to music, movies, and books online :)
So I've literally been playing the heck out of the album all day while I do my thing and have to admit one song in particular strikes a chord deep within me....
"Don't Save Me"........
For me the kicker starts with the 4th verse as it really reflects where I am at in my search for love...
It made realize that I am fully committed to finding love and can't accept anything less than the same in return.....if you can't love me enough to hold on than don't try and save me......
I've had friends tell I'm too picky when it comes to dating but my response is why should I ever settle for less than I deserve and am willing to work for??
When did it become acceptable to just settle for the sake of having a warm body next to you at night?
I like to think I respect myself far too much to ever settle. What kind of example would I be setting for my children if I let them think that settling for the sake of having a girlfriend is the way to approach a relationship.
No, I think I'll continue to be selfish and hold out for the real thing. Maybe it means a few lonely nights, maybe more than a few, but the ability to look myself in the mirror and respect the person I see looking back means far too much to me than just having someone around to keep me entertained.
I want the whole shebang.......butterflies, my last first kiss, a glance across the room that says more than words could ever communicate............
Last night I was doing some work in my home office while my son did his homework and as is the norm with me I also took the time to look at my Facebook (FB) account and checked some emails related to the winter women's team I coach for my daughter. I actually do multitask quite well when I put my mind to it - doesn't happen often but sometimes miracles happen.
So last night on FB I came across an update from Live 88.5, the alternate station in my neck of the woods, with a link to the nights new spin preview that was from an all girl band out of Los Angeles called "Haim" and after clicking the link have to say I was pretty impressed and proceeded to download the entire album from iTunes - Yes, I do things legit when it comes to music, movies, and books online :)
So I've literally been playing the heck out of the album all day while I do my thing and have to admit one song in particular strikes a chord deep within me....
"Don't Save Me"........
Never thought that I would grow so old of seeing the gold
Still I never want it to go
I would hold it up to my cold heart
Feel the way it used to start up
Still I never want it to go
I would hold it up to my cold heart
Feel the way it used to start up
Take me back, ta-ta-take me back to the way that I was before
Hungry for what was to come
Now I'm longing for the way I was
Hungry for what was to come
Now I'm longing for the way I was
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will! Ah oh!
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will! Ah oh!
Take me back
Give it up, give it up to me
Cause I cant go on if your love isn't strong
See I want it all
Give me, give me all your love
But if you can't hold on
Give it up, give it up to me
Cause I cant go on if your love isn't strong
See I want it all
Give me, give me all your love
But if you can't hold on
Then baby, baby don't save me now, no
If your love isn't strong
Baby! Don't save me now, no, no
If your love isn't strong
Baby! Don't save me now, no, no
All my life I wasn't trying to get on a high way
I was wondering which way to go
Spending all of my damn time
Leaving all the weight behind yeah
Take me back, ta-ta-take me back to the song, how'd it used to go? Oh?
Screaming for what was to come,
Now I'm dreaming 'bout the way I was
I was wondering which way to go
Spending all of my damn time
Leaving all the weight behind yeah
Take me back, ta-ta-take me back to the song, how'd it used to go? Oh?
Screaming for what was to come,
Now I'm dreaming 'bout the way I was
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will! Ah, oh!
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will! Ah, oh!
Take me back
Give it, up give it up to me
Cause I cant go on if your love isn't strong
See I want it all
Give me, give me all your love
But if you can't hold on,
Give it, up give it up to me
Cause I cant go on if your love isn't strong
See I want it all
Give me, give me all your love
But if you can't hold on,
Then baby, baby don't save me now, no
Baby don't save me now, no, no
Baby don't save me now, no, no
And if I had to beg for your love
Tell me, tell me
Would it ever be enough?
Te-te-tell me
And if I had to beg for your love
Tell me, tell me
Would it ever be enough?
Tell me, tell me
Would it ever be enough?
Te-te-tell me
And if I had to beg for your love
Tell me, tell me
Would it ever be enough?
So baby, don't save me
No Baby, don't save me
Baby, don't save me now, no, no
Baby, don't save me now, no, no
Baby, don't save me now no, no
Baby, don't save me now no, no, no
Don't save me
Don't save me
No Baby, don't save me
Baby, don't save me now, no, no
Baby, don't save me now, no, no
Baby, don't save me now no, no
Baby, don't save me now no, no, no
Don't save me
Don't save me
For me the kicker starts with the 4th verse as it really reflects where I am at in my search for love...
It made realize that I am fully committed to finding love and can't accept anything less than the same in return.....if you can't love me enough to hold on than don't try and save me......
I've had friends tell I'm too picky when it comes to dating but my response is why should I ever settle for less than I deserve and am willing to work for??
When did it become acceptable to just settle for the sake of having a warm body next to you at night?
I like to think I respect myself far too much to ever settle. What kind of example would I be setting for my children if I let them think that settling for the sake of having a girlfriend is the way to approach a relationship.
No, I think I'll continue to be selfish and hold out for the real thing. Maybe it means a few lonely nights, maybe more than a few, but the ability to look myself in the mirror and respect the person I see looking back means far too much to me than just having someone around to keep me entertained.
I want the whole shebang.......butterflies, my last first kiss, a glance across the room that says more than words could ever communicate............
Friday, September 12, 2014
An interesting message
September 12/14
My musical recommendation for the day is All I Want by Susie Suh
So I received an interesting message the other day on the dating site I've been using and it made me think about the message I've been sending with the blog, well I guess it's more accurate to say with the blog when I was actually updating it more often than lately lol
On my profile I've got some interests outlined and they include among other things Science Fiction, Military History, Sons of Anarchy, The Walking Dead, and Nicholas Sparks. It was that last one that generated the message as they were wondering how that could be possible given the first few mentioned and I replied that I try very hard not to limit myself in terms of what I read, watch, or listen to at any given time, plus I am a die hard hopeless romantic and need me some good reading to keep my spirits up and allow me to see that there is a glimmer of hope in finding love.
As we chatted via site messages it came out that we'd chatted before and she was a follower of the blog but had found it slightly intimidating to read about all the women I've dated. This reminded me of the entry I did where I outlined my numbers and how I didn't think they were really all that out of line with anyone out there. I stand by that assertion and don't think I've dated too much as I really go weeks without anything happening, sometimes my choice and more often than not the worlds choice, but that is the way the dating world works I think.
The majority of my social interactions would come along the way of meeting for a drink and I'm still taking the stance that doesn't really qualify as a date but more like a meet and greet. Of those I've had more than I care to count and of the former not nearly as much as I'd have liked.
The blog isn't meant as some forum for bragging about my dating, or to be honest my lack of success, but more for an outlet to express my thoughts and feelings about things that happened to me or are happening around me in my day to day life.
I stopped blogging on the advice of a lady friend who said I was sharing too much and eliminating the need to actually meet me. As I've thought more and more about that argument I've come to realize that if anyone thinks that what I write on this site is all that I am about or that it would allow anyone to really think they know me from my words that they aren't the person who would find me compatible nor I am them.
I used to joke that I am the conundrum wrapped inside an onion....takes patience to peel me back one layer at a time till you finally reach the real question. I mentioned that one to my ex about a year ago and she laughed and said she still isn't sure to this day after knowing me for over 20 years and two kids that she was any closer to solving me than she was when we first met lol
So please remember that when you read the blog that those observations are for but a moment in time and I am trying to evolve the person that I am each and every day. I am and hope to continue to be a work in progress until I take my very last breathe for to do anything else is to stagnate as a person and that is unacceptable to this man.
The blog is back, whether it is better or some of the same old will be left to you to reader to decide for yourselves.
Today is Friday, September 12 and the weekend is upon us so here is me wishing each of you an awesome weekend and hopefully the one meant for you might cross your path....it could happen
My musical recommendation for the day is All I Want by Susie Suh
So I received an interesting message the other day on the dating site I've been using and it made me think about the message I've been sending with the blog, well I guess it's more accurate to say with the blog when I was actually updating it more often than lately lol
On my profile I've got some interests outlined and they include among other things Science Fiction, Military History, Sons of Anarchy, The Walking Dead, and Nicholas Sparks. It was that last one that generated the message as they were wondering how that could be possible given the first few mentioned and I replied that I try very hard not to limit myself in terms of what I read, watch, or listen to at any given time, plus I am a die hard hopeless romantic and need me some good reading to keep my spirits up and allow me to see that there is a glimmer of hope in finding love.
As we chatted via site messages it came out that we'd chatted before and she was a follower of the blog but had found it slightly intimidating to read about all the women I've dated. This reminded me of the entry I did where I outlined my numbers and how I didn't think they were really all that out of line with anyone out there. I stand by that assertion and don't think I've dated too much as I really go weeks without anything happening, sometimes my choice and more often than not the worlds choice, but that is the way the dating world works I think.
The majority of my social interactions would come along the way of meeting for a drink and I'm still taking the stance that doesn't really qualify as a date but more like a meet and greet. Of those I've had more than I care to count and of the former not nearly as much as I'd have liked.
The blog isn't meant as some forum for bragging about my dating, or to be honest my lack of success, but more for an outlet to express my thoughts and feelings about things that happened to me or are happening around me in my day to day life.
I stopped blogging on the advice of a lady friend who said I was sharing too much and eliminating the need to actually meet me. As I've thought more and more about that argument I've come to realize that if anyone thinks that what I write on this site is all that I am about or that it would allow anyone to really think they know me from my words that they aren't the person who would find me compatible nor I am them.
I used to joke that I am the conundrum wrapped inside an onion....takes patience to peel me back one layer at a time till you finally reach the real question. I mentioned that one to my ex about a year ago and she laughed and said she still isn't sure to this day after knowing me for over 20 years and two kids that she was any closer to solving me than she was when we first met lol
So please remember that when you read the blog that those observations are for but a moment in time and I am trying to evolve the person that I am each and every day. I am and hope to continue to be a work in progress until I take my very last breathe for to do anything else is to stagnate as a person and that is unacceptable to this man.
The blog is back, whether it is better or some of the same old will be left to you to reader to decide for yourselves.
Today is Friday, September 12 and the weekend is upon us so here is me wishing each of you an awesome weekend and hopefully the one meant for you might cross your path....it could happen
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Goodbye my friend
On August 19th I got a call telling me one of my dearest friends had passed away unexpectedly.
I met Rich my freshman year in high school and over the course of the next decade we went through so many highs and lows together, always there to help one another.
Some of my best memories include walking from my house to his house at night and than onward to Dunkin Donuts for a maple bar and chocolate milk. We must have done this hundreds of times and probably never said more than a few words as we made that way there and back. When we were older and one of us could drive we'd head to La Jolla and go surfing almost every morning before first period, being late more often than not lol
Rich got his drivers license first and because of that we had a life long debate as to who was the better driver (me) and used to compare our driving skills to those displayed in the movie "The Driver".
We played sports but almost never the same one or on the same team. Rich was an excellent baseball player and I was average at my best but the team needed players so I joined up so they could play. I was into football and made both JV and Varsity while Rich got cut every summer, but he kept coming out hoping one day he'd make it and we'd be on the same team. Rich ended up playing soccer and I ended up over time coaching soccer lol
His passing hurts more than it should as we drifted apart when I ended my first marriage and eventually made the decision to move to Canada, both things he was against as he felt I should stay and make a loveless marriage work because that is what real men do, when in reality my leaving left him with no options but to address his own feelings for the girl we'd both cared for in high school, me openly and him deep inside himself for fear of being that guy. I knew of his feelings but it was left unsaid between the three of us.
I was happy for him when I learned a year or so after I'd left that he'd gotten up the nerve to make the move and admit his feelings for that girl who was now a woman. They spent many happy years together and I begrudged them nothing as I was far happier in my life than I'd ever been.
Over the past few years I'd tried to reach out and talk to Rich but without any luck. I'm not sure to this day if my messages never reached him or if he passed on the opportunity to meet me halfway.
I'm sad for the loss his family is feeling, his two wonderful sons, two pretty cool younger brothers, and his parents.
They'll say he has gone onto a far better place and without the pain he'd been experiencing but if I know Rich he is cruising around in that old green Dodge Dart just waiting for the chance to remind me that he is the Driver!
Rest in peace my friend and know that despite the years and distance that have separated us you've always been with me and I'll be sharing some stories about some of our adventures this weekend with my kids.
Richard Alan Cimins April 27, 1962 to August 19, 2014
I met Rich my freshman year in high school and over the course of the next decade we went through so many highs and lows together, always there to help one another.
Some of my best memories include walking from my house to his house at night and than onward to Dunkin Donuts for a maple bar and chocolate milk. We must have done this hundreds of times and probably never said more than a few words as we made that way there and back. When we were older and one of us could drive we'd head to La Jolla and go surfing almost every morning before first period, being late more often than not lol
Rich got his drivers license first and because of that we had a life long debate as to who was the better driver (me) and used to compare our driving skills to those displayed in the movie "The Driver".
We played sports but almost never the same one or on the same team. Rich was an excellent baseball player and I was average at my best but the team needed players so I joined up so they could play. I was into football and made both JV and Varsity while Rich got cut every summer, but he kept coming out hoping one day he'd make it and we'd be on the same team. Rich ended up playing soccer and I ended up over time coaching soccer lol
His passing hurts more than it should as we drifted apart when I ended my first marriage and eventually made the decision to move to Canada, both things he was against as he felt I should stay and make a loveless marriage work because that is what real men do, when in reality my leaving left him with no options but to address his own feelings for the girl we'd both cared for in high school, me openly and him deep inside himself for fear of being that guy. I knew of his feelings but it was left unsaid between the three of us.
I was happy for him when I learned a year or so after I'd left that he'd gotten up the nerve to make the move and admit his feelings for that girl who was now a woman. They spent many happy years together and I begrudged them nothing as I was far happier in my life than I'd ever been.
Over the past few years I'd tried to reach out and talk to Rich but without any luck. I'm not sure to this day if my messages never reached him or if he passed on the opportunity to meet me halfway.
I'm sad for the loss his family is feeling, his two wonderful sons, two pretty cool younger brothers, and his parents.
They'll say he has gone onto a far better place and without the pain he'd been experiencing but if I know Rich he is cruising around in that old green Dodge Dart just waiting for the chance to remind me that he is the Driver!
Rest in peace my friend and know that despite the years and distance that have separated us you've always been with me and I'll be sharing some stories about some of our adventures this weekend with my kids.
Richard Alan Cimins April 27, 1962 to August 19, 2014
Monday, May 26, 2014
My son the comedian
May 26/14
So Saturday I was grocery shopping with my son and we had one of those moments.....
As we wandered around the produce section and I literally asked him if he wanted something from each and every product available he turned to me and matter of factly asked me if it was my mission to annoy him the entire time we were in Loblaws. I smiled and replied in the affirmative whereupon he countered asking why, my response was it is the only comedy showing at the moment. He didn't find that too amusing but I knew this wasn't the end of things.
As we cruised the bakery section I was hit with a sudden craving for something sweet and noticed a small 5" cake in one of the display cases. I walked over and asked the baker if it was real frosting or that fake stuff they've gone to over the last few years, He assured it was real so I started to say I'd take it when I saw my son out of the corner of my eye shaking his head at me. I turned and asked him if he'd hold it against me and he replied in the best dead pan voice I've ever heard "I won't say anything about it" and a few seconds later added "Out loud to you but anyone else is fair game to hear this little tale"
The baker just stared at him and burst out laughing, almost dropping the cake in the process.
I smiled at him and said "Touche"
As I placec the cake box in the cart he leaned over and whispered to me "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips" and walked away laughing.
The baker smiled and asked me if it was always like this between us and I laughed and said pretty much and it was one of the best things about being his father.
I won't even mention the banter we shared when walking past the razors and hair care products lol
So Saturday I was grocery shopping with my son and we had one of those moments.....
As we wandered around the produce section and I literally asked him if he wanted something from each and every product available he turned to me and matter of factly asked me if it was my mission to annoy him the entire time we were in Loblaws. I smiled and replied in the affirmative whereupon he countered asking why, my response was it is the only comedy showing at the moment. He didn't find that too amusing but I knew this wasn't the end of things.
As we cruised the bakery section I was hit with a sudden craving for something sweet and noticed a small 5" cake in one of the display cases. I walked over and asked the baker if it was real frosting or that fake stuff they've gone to over the last few years, He assured it was real so I started to say I'd take it when I saw my son out of the corner of my eye shaking his head at me. I turned and asked him if he'd hold it against me and he replied in the best dead pan voice I've ever heard "I won't say anything about it" and a few seconds later added "Out loud to you but anyone else is fair game to hear this little tale"
The baker just stared at him and burst out laughing, almost dropping the cake in the process.
I smiled at him and said "Touche"
As I placec the cake box in the cart he leaned over and whispered to me "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips" and walked away laughing.
The baker smiled and asked me if it was always like this between us and I laughed and said pretty much and it was one of the best things about being his father.
I won't even mention the banter we shared when walking past the razors and hair care products lol
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
15 years ago today.....
April 16/14
Fifteen years ago today at exactly 2:11 a.m. my son made his arrival into the world and life has never been the same since.
Between his sister and him my life has been one immeasurable roller coaster ride filled with far more screams of joy than anything else. That's not to say there haven't been any low points but watching him grow into the young man he is fast becoming far outweighs any bad days.
I've been so lucky with my children in that they are both extremely athletic, bright, outgoing, and compassionate individuals. Each has their own jes nes se qua about themselves that makes them fun to be around.
Today is one of those days where it could be pouring freezing rain on my head as I walked down the street and I'd still have a goofy grin on my face just because my life is so freaking better from having seen him come into the world and all the things we've done and talked about over the last 15 years.
Next month has another one of those days when I celebrate the birth of the little princess who was the first to change my life and show me what it means to unconditionally love someone.
Sometimes life can get you down but when that happens I think of my kids and how much they've influenced me for the better as they've grown up and let me partake in the ride :)
Happy Birthday Jacoby and may you enjoy today as much as I've enjoyed the last fifteen years!!
Marcus or as I'm known to two special people....Dad
Fifteen years ago today at exactly 2:11 a.m. my son made his arrival into the world and life has never been the same since.
Between his sister and him my life has been one immeasurable roller coaster ride filled with far more screams of joy than anything else. That's not to say there haven't been any low points but watching him grow into the young man he is fast becoming far outweighs any bad days.
I've been so lucky with my children in that they are both extremely athletic, bright, outgoing, and compassionate individuals. Each has their own jes nes se qua about themselves that makes them fun to be around.
Today is one of those days where it could be pouring freezing rain on my head as I walked down the street and I'd still have a goofy grin on my face just because my life is so freaking better from having seen him come into the world and all the things we've done and talked about over the last 15 years.
Next month has another one of those days when I celebrate the birth of the little princess who was the first to change my life and show me what it means to unconditionally love someone.
Sometimes life can get you down but when that happens I think of my kids and how much they've influenced me for the better as they've grown up and let me partake in the ride :)
Happy Birthday Jacoby and may you enjoy today as much as I've enjoyed the last fifteen years!!
Marcus or as I'm known to two special people....Dad
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Numbers II
April 13/14
What a crazy weekend it's been. My son turns 15 on Wednesday so I arranged an Xbox gaming party for him at The Coliseum with 6 buddies, the movie Captain America afterwards, and a sleepover at my place.
Needless to say the decibel levels at my place with seven 14 & 15 year old's dominating my basement was pretty intense and I'm sure Tylenol won't miss it's Q2 profit targets now lol
So the last post was about numbers, how they seem to become more and more important as we get older, and some of the numbers that are important to me without of course saying what they represented.
Well here is what each means to me......
51 is my age
5 9 is my height
225 is my current weight -working on it ladies
7 is the number of years I've been on my own
14-15 current age of my son and his age this week
24-25 current age of my daughter and her age next month
91 soccer games I've coached since May 2012
75 soccer games won
7 soccer games tied
9 soccer games lost
232-273 points earned out of a maximum possible
6 serious partners - you know what I mean, stop blushing
2 years I've gone celibate
3 years I've been in my own house
1 number of times I've really lost my temper
There are more but for now these mean something to me.
Marcus
What a crazy weekend it's been. My son turns 15 on Wednesday so I arranged an Xbox gaming party for him at The Coliseum with 6 buddies, the movie Captain America afterwards, and a sleepover at my place.
Needless to say the decibel levels at my place with seven 14 & 15 year old's dominating my basement was pretty intense and I'm sure Tylenol won't miss it's Q2 profit targets now lol
So the last post was about numbers, how they seem to become more and more important as we get older, and some of the numbers that are important to me without of course saying what they represented.
Well here is what each means to me......
51 is my age
5 9 is my height
225 is my current weight -working on it ladies
7 is the number of years I've been on my own
14-15 current age of my son and his age this week
24-25 current age of my daughter and her age next month
91 soccer games I've coached since May 2012
75 soccer games won
7 soccer games tied
9 soccer games lost
232-273 points earned out of a maximum possible
6 serious partners - you know what I mean, stop blushing
2 years I've gone celibate
3 years I've been in my own house
1 number of times I've really lost my temper
There are more but for now these mean something to me.
Marcus
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Numbers
Wednesday, April 09/14
Today's musical suggestion is the Arkells "Never Thought That This Would Happen"
So the Ides of March has passed by and here I sit waiting for the arrival of Spring and all the activities it will afford me away from the house.
I work in corporate finance so most of my days revolve around numbers in one form or another. They might involve headcount for various departments, measuring customer churn or retention, the shift in market share for any of the various channels we sell into, the provision for new capital expenditures, and for at least a few days at the start of each month I do stuff that lets our corporate overlords know if we were profitable or not.
Today as I was calculating commissions it dawned on me just how much numbers play a role in my life and then I paused and realized I see references to numbers all over the place, whether intended or not.
I track statistics for both my kids soccer teams in order to make sure things stay balanced, I track my rounds of golf to see if one particular hole at a course is my usual downfall as I strive to break 80, and I keep running stats on my son's health and now even for Moki the Wonder Puppy.
Before logging on to the blog I checked a new message on a dating website and than the profile of the woman who had sent it and lo and behold there were numbers on her profile, some that she said were important to her and any potential date absolutely had to meet else it was a no go.
So I've come up with my own set of important numbers, important to me for any number of reasons, and thought I'd share them with you, but here is the catch, and you know there is always a catch when it comes to this blog, the list is just that, a list of numbers and not why they are important to me, that little piece of information comes either tomorrow or Friday :)
51
5 9
225
7
14-15
24-25
91
75
7
9
232-273
6
2
3
1
An interesting set of numbers if I do say so myself.
What numbers hold importance to you?
Marcus
Today's musical suggestion is the Arkells "Never Thought That This Would Happen"
So the Ides of March has passed by and here I sit waiting for the arrival of Spring and all the activities it will afford me away from the house.
I work in corporate finance so most of my days revolve around numbers in one form or another. They might involve headcount for various departments, measuring customer churn or retention, the shift in market share for any of the various channels we sell into, the provision for new capital expenditures, and for at least a few days at the start of each month I do stuff that lets our corporate overlords know if we were profitable or not.
Today as I was calculating commissions it dawned on me just how much numbers play a role in my life and then I paused and realized I see references to numbers all over the place, whether intended or not.
I track statistics for both my kids soccer teams in order to make sure things stay balanced, I track my rounds of golf to see if one particular hole at a course is my usual downfall as I strive to break 80, and I keep running stats on my son's health and now even for Moki the Wonder Puppy.
Before logging on to the blog I checked a new message on a dating website and than the profile of the woman who had sent it and lo and behold there were numbers on her profile, some that she said were important to her and any potential date absolutely had to meet else it was a no go.
So I've come up with my own set of important numbers, important to me for any number of reasons, and thought I'd share them with you, but here is the catch, and you know there is always a catch when it comes to this blog, the list is just that, a list of numbers and not why they are important to me, that little piece of information comes either tomorrow or Friday :)
51
5 9
225
7
14-15
24-25
91
75
7
9
232-273
6
2
3
1
An interesting set of numbers if I do say so myself.
What numbers hold importance to you?
Marcus
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Back from March Break :-)
Sunday, March 16/14
Spent last week down in Orlando with my son for March Break and had a wonderful time.
Not surprisingly I came across a lot of things that gave me fodder for the blog and am in the middle of going through the notes on my tablet about all of them before adding some new posts.
In the meantime please enjoy this little quote I came across this morning while reading an email on a dating site :-)
"Later that day, I got to thinking about relationships.
There are those that open you up to something new and exotic.
Those that are old and familiar.
Those that bring up lots of questions.
Those that bring you somewhere unexpected.
Those that bring you far from where you started.
And those that bring you back.
But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all
is the one you have with yourself.
And if you find someone to love the you, you love...
Well, that's just fabulous"
So very true.........
Spent last week down in Orlando with my son for March Break and had a wonderful time.
Not surprisingly I came across a lot of things that gave me fodder for the blog and am in the middle of going through the notes on my tablet about all of them before adding some new posts.
In the meantime please enjoy this little quote I came across this morning while reading an email on a dating site :-)
"Later that day, I got to thinking about relationships.
There are those that open you up to something new and exotic.
Those that are old and familiar.
Those that bring up lots of questions.
Those that bring you somewhere unexpected.
Those that bring you far from where you started.
And those that bring you back.
But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all
is the one you have with yourself.
And if you find someone to love the you, you love...
Well, that's just fabulous"
So very true.........
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Music, hockey, and school
Sunday, March 02/14
New musical suggestion for today.......Beck's "Morning"
What a long weekend this has been.
I have my son and it feels like it has been ages since he was over due to the SAP training I was going through the past few weeks.
Friday was the start of a hockey tournament put on by the KMHA to benefit the Youth Services Bureau to assist kids in need for any variety of reasons. Because we are a local team we ended up playing 2 of our initial games on Friday so that meant missed school - not a big deal when the lads were in grade school but more of an issue now that they are in high school. Needless to say, my son was quite happy to be off and have me taking him to the games.
On the way to the 9 AM game he plugged his iPhone into the USB jack in my car and proceeded to blow my socks off with the songs he downloaded and has been listening to the past couple of weeks. He started off with Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall", moved onto some "Jump" by Van Halen, transitioned to Queens "Bohemian Rhapsody", moved onto Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven, Toto's "Africa", and ended with The Rolling Stones "You can't always get what you want".......
My son has been a very welcome source of new music for me over the years and it was pretty cool to see him discovering some of the classics from my own youth. We've been doing the same with movies over the last couple of months with viewings of "The Breakfast Club", "The Outsiders", St. Elmo's Fire", and next up is "Sixteen Candles" when we get back from March break.
Friday's morning game against WEHL went pretty much like most of his teams games have gone this season. They started off playing on their heals, gave up an early goal, slowly fought back to get it all even, and than had a mental breakdown to allow the winning goal to be scored with less than a minute. The end result didn't bother him all that much as he said he thought West End played the better game and deserved the win.
We went home as our next game wasn't until 1:30 PM and we had to fill out his course form for grade 10 that was due by end of day. I was a little miffed as he was supposed to have done it with his mom Thursday night but she forgot and he knew that we'd do it together on Friday so he wasn't too stressed. For a parent who places a large value on education it sure does seem like I've been the one attending parent teacher meetings and dealing with course selections when it comes to my son where his mom seemed way more involved with our daughter.
As we sat in the kitchen and went over his options he said something that made me sit up and look at him with fresh eyes.......he told me he wanted to take Civics in summer school so he could try and take grade 11 math in the spring and that way have the option of taking both university prep level math courses offered in grade 12. Additionally, he wanted to take another course in French (applied tho and not academic) as well as Italian. I asked him if he understood the course load he was looking at for grade 10 and how much time it would mean with homework and such, he said he wanted to really apply himself so when it came time to select a university he would have options and not be limited to just going to college, even if it meant going away for school. I didn't say anything thinking that I knew the fight that was ahead of us when his mom learned he was thinking of going away to university as she has been very vocal about him staying in Ottawa as she worries he'll go the same route his sister did and party away the first year. I'm not as concerned as I know my kids are blood relatives but worlds different when it comes to sports and school.
Almost as if he was reading my mind he smiled at me and said he knew I'd make it happen if that was what he really wanted..........oh how that boy knows his father....luckily for me I've got a little over a year before I broach that subject with his mom.
I dropped off the forms at his school and took a moment to review them with a counselor and was impressed when he told me that while it was pretty ambitious that he was confident that my son could do it.
When I was fourteen I did everything in my power to avoid taking hard courses and spend as much time thinking about Kelly Davis and Maryanne Meloy as I could get away with.....and here is my son looking to double up his math courses so as to provide himself with options.......
We headed off to the afternoon game against Renfrew, a valley club that usually fields strong teams, and my son said he wasn't looking forward to this game as he knew it wouldn't be pretty.......spoken as if he was prescient as the final was 5-0 with little effort put forth by his team. My son took only his second penalty in his hockey career when he was called for tripping when the player actually just fell over his own stick. As I watched him skate off the ice at the final buzzer I commented to his mom and her boyfriend that it was going to be one quiet ride home for me with him and she laughed and said better me than her.
When he came out of the dressing room I could tell he was really upset and when asked why he responded that a couple of his team wanted to skip shifts as the other team was too fast or pushed too hard, he said he wanted to punch them so hard for being quitters and told them to man up.....his mom made a comment that he needed to go easy as not everyone can be a star all the time........I reached over and took his hockey stick and bag as I sensed something bad was going to happen as he looked so pissed off at her for pretty much blowing off how he felt and making a joke out of it.........I told them I'd meet them at the car and walked off as they were exchanging words,,,,,,her boyfriend walked fast to catch up with me and said he didn't want to be around them as it looked like world war 3 was going to break out. I laughed and said she needed to realize that he wasn't the little boy who didn't care about such things but had grown into a young man who expected people to make an effort.....that while he wasn't as competitive as his sister, thankfully, he was still far more competitive than he admits or his mom cares to acknowledge. As I got to the car and loaded his gear in it I could see her reach out to hug him and him shrug it off......a look of anger cross her face and her tell me to deal with it....I smiled at her and said I totally got where he was coming from and knew he would be fine if left to think things over but the worst thing anyone can ever do to someone who is passionate about a sport is laugh off their concerns/comments.
When we got home he walked to his room and after changing came out and just hugged me....for a long time
He asked me why I got him and his mom didn't and I just smiled and said she did, just in different ways than I did and that's why it is important for him to have both of us in his life.......that she still sees him as that little guy who first played hockey and soccer and would stop in the middle of a game to check to make sure a player on the other team was OK when they fell down whereas he was now more competitive, that I still see him as that little guy when he isn't feeling well and want to do everything in my power to protect my little guy from all the hurt. We both have different views of him and we both need to make some adjustments as I know I drive him nuts with my worrying about him all the time, it leaves him feeling like I picture him as a little kid.....and I do....and I don't.......I see both of those son's and feel sadness as the loss of one and pride at the emergence of the other.
Recently I read somewhere where a person asked another to use three words to describe what was important to them....can't remember the words they replied with but for me they'd be family, faith, and golf.
What three words would describe you?
New musical suggestion for today.......Beck's "Morning"
What a long weekend this has been.
I have my son and it feels like it has been ages since he was over due to the SAP training I was going through the past few weeks.
Friday was the start of a hockey tournament put on by the KMHA to benefit the Youth Services Bureau to assist kids in need for any variety of reasons. Because we are a local team we ended up playing 2 of our initial games on Friday so that meant missed school - not a big deal when the lads were in grade school but more of an issue now that they are in high school. Needless to say, my son was quite happy to be off and have me taking him to the games.
On the way to the 9 AM game he plugged his iPhone into the USB jack in my car and proceeded to blow my socks off with the songs he downloaded and has been listening to the past couple of weeks. He started off with Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall", moved onto some "Jump" by Van Halen, transitioned to Queens "Bohemian Rhapsody", moved onto Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven, Toto's "Africa", and ended with The Rolling Stones "You can't always get what you want".......
My son has been a very welcome source of new music for me over the years and it was pretty cool to see him discovering some of the classics from my own youth. We've been doing the same with movies over the last couple of months with viewings of "The Breakfast Club", "The Outsiders", St. Elmo's Fire", and next up is "Sixteen Candles" when we get back from March break.
Friday's morning game against WEHL went pretty much like most of his teams games have gone this season. They started off playing on their heals, gave up an early goal, slowly fought back to get it all even, and than had a mental breakdown to allow the winning goal to be scored with less than a minute. The end result didn't bother him all that much as he said he thought West End played the better game and deserved the win.
We went home as our next game wasn't until 1:30 PM and we had to fill out his course form for grade 10 that was due by end of day. I was a little miffed as he was supposed to have done it with his mom Thursday night but she forgot and he knew that we'd do it together on Friday so he wasn't too stressed. For a parent who places a large value on education it sure does seem like I've been the one attending parent teacher meetings and dealing with course selections when it comes to my son where his mom seemed way more involved with our daughter.
As we sat in the kitchen and went over his options he said something that made me sit up and look at him with fresh eyes.......he told me he wanted to take Civics in summer school so he could try and take grade 11 math in the spring and that way have the option of taking both university prep level math courses offered in grade 12. Additionally, he wanted to take another course in French (applied tho and not academic) as well as Italian. I asked him if he understood the course load he was looking at for grade 10 and how much time it would mean with homework and such, he said he wanted to really apply himself so when it came time to select a university he would have options and not be limited to just going to college, even if it meant going away for school. I didn't say anything thinking that I knew the fight that was ahead of us when his mom learned he was thinking of going away to university as she has been very vocal about him staying in Ottawa as she worries he'll go the same route his sister did and party away the first year. I'm not as concerned as I know my kids are blood relatives but worlds different when it comes to sports and school.
Almost as if he was reading my mind he smiled at me and said he knew I'd make it happen if that was what he really wanted..........oh how that boy knows his father....luckily for me I've got a little over a year before I broach that subject with his mom.
I dropped off the forms at his school and took a moment to review them with a counselor and was impressed when he told me that while it was pretty ambitious that he was confident that my son could do it.
When I was fourteen I did everything in my power to avoid taking hard courses and spend as much time thinking about Kelly Davis and Maryanne Meloy as I could get away with.....and here is my son looking to double up his math courses so as to provide himself with options.......
We headed off to the afternoon game against Renfrew, a valley club that usually fields strong teams, and my son said he wasn't looking forward to this game as he knew it wouldn't be pretty.......spoken as if he was prescient as the final was 5-0 with little effort put forth by his team. My son took only his second penalty in his hockey career when he was called for tripping when the player actually just fell over his own stick. As I watched him skate off the ice at the final buzzer I commented to his mom and her boyfriend that it was going to be one quiet ride home for me with him and she laughed and said better me than her.
When he came out of the dressing room I could tell he was really upset and when asked why he responded that a couple of his team wanted to skip shifts as the other team was too fast or pushed too hard, he said he wanted to punch them so hard for being quitters and told them to man up.....his mom made a comment that he needed to go easy as not everyone can be a star all the time........I reached over and took his hockey stick and bag as I sensed something bad was going to happen as he looked so pissed off at her for pretty much blowing off how he felt and making a joke out of it.........I told them I'd meet them at the car and walked off as they were exchanging words,,,,,,her boyfriend walked fast to catch up with me and said he didn't want to be around them as it looked like world war 3 was going to break out. I laughed and said she needed to realize that he wasn't the little boy who didn't care about such things but had grown into a young man who expected people to make an effort.....that while he wasn't as competitive as his sister, thankfully, he was still far more competitive than he admits or his mom cares to acknowledge. As I got to the car and loaded his gear in it I could see her reach out to hug him and him shrug it off......a look of anger cross her face and her tell me to deal with it....I smiled at her and said I totally got where he was coming from and knew he would be fine if left to think things over but the worst thing anyone can ever do to someone who is passionate about a sport is laugh off their concerns/comments.
When we got home he walked to his room and after changing came out and just hugged me....for a long time
He asked me why I got him and his mom didn't and I just smiled and said she did, just in different ways than I did and that's why it is important for him to have both of us in his life.......that she still sees him as that little guy who first played hockey and soccer and would stop in the middle of a game to check to make sure a player on the other team was OK when they fell down whereas he was now more competitive, that I still see him as that little guy when he isn't feeling well and want to do everything in my power to protect my little guy from all the hurt. We both have different views of him and we both need to make some adjustments as I know I drive him nuts with my worrying about him all the time, it leaves him feeling like I picture him as a little kid.....and I do....and I don't.......I see both of those son's and feel sadness as the loss of one and pride at the emergence of the other.
Recently I read somewhere where a person asked another to use three words to describe what was important to them....can't remember the words they replied with but for me they'd be family, faith, and golf.
What three words would describe you?
Sunday, February 23, 2014
The hardest trip you'll ever make is.....
Sunday, February 23/14
What an amazing morning I've had. Woke early to take Moki for a walk, came home and made some toast, and ensconced myself on the couch to watch Team Canada take our second gold in hockey with a resounding 3-0 win over Sweden!!
I've been thinking about dating a lot lately, mostly because I was seeing someone from the mid point of January until just this last week when I made the decision that the end result I was hoping to see just wasn't going to happen and it was better to end things now than several months down the road.
Nothing major came up that led me to this decision but more a series of comments or requests that made me realize that the commitment on both sides wasn't really equal.
It also led me to the conclusion that the hardest journey two people will ever make is meeting halfway so that each persons needs are met and mutual happiness achieved.
I am a west end guy and make no bones about it. I bought my place in 2011 for the very specific reason that is was located within the boundaries of the high school my son was starting that fall and thus made it possible for him to bus to my place after school versus me having to pick him up at his moms every day once I was done with work. His going to his moms wasn't an issue for her or me but it just makes me feel better knowing he can get to my place, and a small piece of me thinks it reaffirms for him that my place is as much his home as his moms house is.
The person I was seeing lives downtown and has no children. I was pretty open about my not being open to moving and she seemed to accept that position, least until last week when she started mentioning how her building has 3 bedroom units and maybe we could go and look at one to check out the room sizes. Me being the dense guy I am didn't hear the underlying message she was sending and couldn't understand why she was so surprised when I asked her why she needed such a large place. She was very matter of fact when she told me she wasn't moving from downtown and she couldn't see why I was so locked into living in the west end when buses ran just fine both ways. Her implication was that my son could bus from downtown to school in the morning and back again in the afternoon.
The real kicker here was that we hadn't reached the stage where I was thinking it might be time for her to even meet my kids and here she was trying to get things changed that would have a huge impact on one of them.
As I was trying to explain to her how this wasn't really an option she dropped the other bombshell that if her contract wasn't renewed in August she was thinking of either moving back to Toronto or taking time to do a volunteer mission to Africa. That was pretty much the icing on the cake and I explained how I didn't think things would work for us given our differences on where we should reside in Ottawa let alone on the same continent.
On Thursday I told her I wasn't interested in pursuing things and she said it was probably for the best as my being inflexible about things was really a turn off for her.....that one made me chuckle as I really have bent over backwards to work around her schedule over the past 6 weeks and didn't complain about the 15+ dates we had to cancel or reschedule at the last moment due to her shift work as I understood how important her job was to herself and her clients.
I really am looking to fall in love and will do everything I can to make it possible but somethings just aren't up for negotiation and moving my son ranks at the top of that list.
Am I unreasonable? Guess that is up for debate depending on your thoughts but I'd like to think that anyone I date would understand how much importance I place on family and having stability for them wherever I am concerned.
Marcus
What an amazing morning I've had. Woke early to take Moki for a walk, came home and made some toast, and ensconced myself on the couch to watch Team Canada take our second gold in hockey with a resounding 3-0 win over Sweden!!
I've been thinking about dating a lot lately, mostly because I was seeing someone from the mid point of January until just this last week when I made the decision that the end result I was hoping to see just wasn't going to happen and it was better to end things now than several months down the road.
Nothing major came up that led me to this decision but more a series of comments or requests that made me realize that the commitment on both sides wasn't really equal.
It also led me to the conclusion that the hardest journey two people will ever make is meeting halfway so that each persons needs are met and mutual happiness achieved.
I am a west end guy and make no bones about it. I bought my place in 2011 for the very specific reason that is was located within the boundaries of the high school my son was starting that fall and thus made it possible for him to bus to my place after school versus me having to pick him up at his moms every day once I was done with work. His going to his moms wasn't an issue for her or me but it just makes me feel better knowing he can get to my place, and a small piece of me thinks it reaffirms for him that my place is as much his home as his moms house is.
The person I was seeing lives downtown and has no children. I was pretty open about my not being open to moving and she seemed to accept that position, least until last week when she started mentioning how her building has 3 bedroom units and maybe we could go and look at one to check out the room sizes. Me being the dense guy I am didn't hear the underlying message she was sending and couldn't understand why she was so surprised when I asked her why she needed such a large place. She was very matter of fact when she told me she wasn't moving from downtown and she couldn't see why I was so locked into living in the west end when buses ran just fine both ways. Her implication was that my son could bus from downtown to school in the morning and back again in the afternoon.
The real kicker here was that we hadn't reached the stage where I was thinking it might be time for her to even meet my kids and here she was trying to get things changed that would have a huge impact on one of them.
As I was trying to explain to her how this wasn't really an option she dropped the other bombshell that if her contract wasn't renewed in August she was thinking of either moving back to Toronto or taking time to do a volunteer mission to Africa. That was pretty much the icing on the cake and I explained how I didn't think things would work for us given our differences on where we should reside in Ottawa let alone on the same continent.
On Thursday I told her I wasn't interested in pursuing things and she said it was probably for the best as my being inflexible about things was really a turn off for her.....that one made me chuckle as I really have bent over backwards to work around her schedule over the past 6 weeks and didn't complain about the 15+ dates we had to cancel or reschedule at the last moment due to her shift work as I understood how important her job was to herself and her clients.
I really am looking to fall in love and will do everything I can to make it possible but somethings just aren't up for negotiation and moving my son ranks at the top of that list.
Am I unreasonable? Guess that is up for debate depending on your thoughts but I'd like to think that anyone I date would understand how much importance I place on family and having stability for them wherever I am concerned.
Marcus
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