Happy New Years!!!!

December 31, 2018

H A P P Y  N E W  Y E A R S !!!!!!!

I would like to wish each of you a Very Happy New Years!!!

My hope is that as you look back on 2018 you feel that it was good to you and that 2019 brings you nothing but peace, love, health, and contentment.

My year had both lows and highs, to be expected and really probably not much different from what most of you experienced, although those things that may have been a low or a high might differ between us.

My low was the health scare and side affects I experienced from the treatment.

My highs were many and far outweighed the low.........

My daughter got married in January and I had the pleasure of walking her down the aisle.

My son survived his first year of university and earned excellent grades, not that his mother or I thought he'd do otherwise but it was nice for his self confidence nonetheless.

Getting the news that my tumor was benign and I wouldn't have to undergo any more chemotherapy

My son golfing with me for the first time in over 10 years on my birthday

Shooting my first round of sub 88 golf on the next to last round of the year.

Being part of the winning team at the work golf tournament

Realizing I wasn't happy with my life and having the courage to make some changes that I hope bring me some equilibrium and a more grounded sense of happiness.

Starting to put myself back out into the dating world once again..............

I was asked what my New Years resolutions are for 2019 and I don't have any.

For me resolutions are about as useful as celebrating Valentines Day............I have no need for either as I'm mature enough and in tune with my own feelings to know I can create an arbitrary list of things I want to accomplish at any point in the year, that the first day of the new year is as critical to this process as discovering the secrets behind cold fusion.

I have the same opinion about Valentines Day......the single most pressure filled day to be a guy in a relationship.  Why is there is so much pressure to show your partner how much you love them on this one predetermined day?  Does that mean they get a free pass the the day before or the day after? Why can't we celebrate the love every day in our own special ways?  I don't think I was ever remiss in letting my partner know how much she meant to me or how much I cared for her. Heck, if any of the women I've dated feel differently please reach out and let me know as I'm all about improving myself in every way possible.

Okay, reading the last paragraph has me thinking I might have gotten a little off topic and I apologize but promise to revisit this rant a little farther into the year when it's more appropriate.

So, no resolutions will be made by me come the strike of the clock at midnight.

Tonight I'll be home with Moki watching a movie, enjoying a cold pint of beer, and thinking a little bit about what might have been. This has been my norm for the last few years and one I've sort of grown accustomed to over time.

2014 was the last time I really celebrated New Years Eve and it was with friends of a very special friend, one of the best I can remember sharing with someone.

Snow and freezing rain are in the forecast tonight so please be careful out there wherever you might find yourself. My son is working until 11 pm and then heading to a house party with some friends, but he knows I'm only a call away should he need me, though I've gotten assurances they have a designated driver all set up, one of the group is Muslim and doesn't drink at all.

My name is Marcus and I'm hoping 2019 is the year I can change the title of this blog once and for all as maybe I'll finally meet my one and experience my last first kiss.............

Not sure I can really name the perfect song for tonight but lets give "Someone like You" by Adele a try and see how things turn out for us and we'll reconnect next year :-)

As always comments, questions, or complaints can be sent my way via ooasm2018@gmail.com and I promise to reply to all emails.

Merry Christmas

Tuesday, December 25/18

I'm just home from midnight mass at St. Patrick's Parish in Fallowfield and wanted to take a quick moment to wish everyone a Merry Christmas before turning in for a rest as today will be a busy one with family and friends.

I'd also like to wish my mom a Happy Birthday as she would have been 81 today, you left us far too early mom but I know you are watching out over everyone and I'm sure you are enjoying seeing how quickly your great grandson Jack is growing each day.

Peace on earth to each of you.

My name is Marcus and I want nothing more than health and happiness for one and all this holiday season and into the new year.

Today's musical suggestion is a tie between Christmas Canon by Trans-Siberian Orchestra and Carol of the Bells by David Foster.

YouTube links are here:
Christmas Canon  - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cP26ndrmtg
Carol of the Bells - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcp3_VdL80s

Twas the night before Christmas

Monday, December 24/18

I spent the day running some last minute errands, tidying up around the house, and wrapping a few gifts in anticipation of tomorrow's family gathering at my daughters new place.

One tradition I've always enjoyed over the years was the reading of a  "Twas the night before Christmas" so I thought I'd share it all of you as the time fast approaches the striking hour of midnight here in Canada and may have actually already struck where you are depending on your location.

Please enjoy and remember that the warm feelings we share over the holidays can easily carried forward into our day to day lives in the coming year......

  Twas the Night Before Christmas

by Clement Clarke Moore

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.

And Mama in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

tore open the shutter, and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

gave the lustre of midday to objects below,

when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came,

and he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer!

Now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid!

On, Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch!

To the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away!

Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky

so up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

with the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head and was turning around,

down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

and filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

My name is Marcus and from my family to yours "Merry Christmas"

Happy Holiday's

Friday, December 21/18

Today unofficially marks the start of the winter holiday season for many people and I wanted to take this moment to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and hope you have a great New Years as well.

For those of you who don't celebrate Christmas as I do than let me just wish you happy holiday's as we all share something in common regardless of what we call our deity.

Love, happiness, compassion, empathy, and the desire to see those around us safe and sound would be at the top of any list a person might compile.

I'll spend my Christmas Eve attending midnight mass at St. Patrick's Church in Fallowfield, where I'll reflect on the events of the last year and those who are part of my circle of family and friends.

I imagine I'll think of the one and say a silent prayer in thanks for the time we shared and hope all is well with her own family.

I'll think of my grandson and all the joy that little boy has brought into my life and my determination to be there for many more Christmas's to come so I can relive those magical moments through his eyes, to watch him continue to develop the special bond he has with his uncle, and watch how my daughter dotes over him as I once did over her.

There are a lot of thoughts going through my head as we come to final days of 2018 and I'm sure a blog entry will becoming up to share some of them with all of you.

But for now let me just say this..........

Enjoy these moments with family and friends, try as best you can to embrace those around you with nothing more in your heart than love and forgiveness, let go of any anger, resentment, or jealousy you might have as they only act as a poison upon your soul.

Be free of that which makes you less than you deserve to be.....

I know that us easier sad than done sometimes but always remember that you do not walk this world alone for you are loved by someone around you, even if you don't or can't recognize it, for inside each of us resides the heart of a good person.

My name is Marcus and I want nothing more for Christmas than for each of you to be loved and thought of with warm thoughts.

Today's musical suggestion is a duet from an unlikely pair - The Little Drummer Boy by Bing Crosby and David Bowie.  YouTube link is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9kfdEyV3RQ

Comments, questions or complaints can be sent my way via ooasm2018@gmail.com and I promise to reply to all emails.

Ask for Angela!!!

Thursday, December 20/18

I came across an interesting story on my Facebook feed and thought I'd share it with you.

There is a system that has been slowly gaining ground in the United Kingdom, and making it way across the pond to Canada and the U.S., where if a woman feels threatened while on a date she can approach a member of a restaurant or pub and simply ask for Angela. This is code to let the employee know that the woman doesn't feel safe and they are to move her to a position of safety, whether it is via a bouncer or other wait staff, and call the authorities.

It's as simple as going up to the bartender and asking "Is Angela working tonight?"

I'm literally of two emotions about this system.

I'm happy that it is in place and from the sounds of things it has done a wonderful job of getting some women out of what could have been a dangerous situation.

On the other hand I'm more than disgusted that we need this system in the first place and wonder where we went wrong as a society that men could even think that acting this way towards women is even the least bit acceptable.

Some of the stories I've read around this make me wonder if my gender can really be that fucking dumb and clueless, guys getting mad at the woman for causing a scene after they'd been verbally or physically abusive, or if I'm just the one who is so stupid and clueless he can't see today's environment for the mine field is has become for women.

I remember having a conversation with my son a few years back when he started dating where I sat him down to have the talk and he sort of rolled his eyes at me as if I was a day late and a dollar short.

As I watched him roll his eyes I just looked him in the eye and said it wasn't that kind of talk. This talk was about how to treat a lady and if I ever heard one word that he'd been disrespectful than there would be hell to pay.

I remember him looking at me and telling me that if he ever acted that way he didn't fear facing the young ladies father nor his own mother as much as the last person he'd have to face. I was sort of confused and asked him who that was and he looked at me and said "You, as you've always tried to teach me how to be a man and if I did something so horrible as to upset my date than I don't think I'd ever be able to look you in the eyes again dad"

Pretty much knew at that point that if I never did anything else in my life to help mold him into a man than I'd already done enough with him feeling that way about being respectful and protective of any woman he was with.

I hope none of you are ever made to feel threatened or afraid for your safety but should you experience just such a moment I beg you to "Ask for Angela" and don't allow yourself to be treated as anything less than the wonderful person that you are. I say that not only as the father of a woman but as the father of a young man who has been raised to treat not only women but all others with respect and dignity.

My name is Marcus and we should all take any steps necessary to ensure the safety of those around us.

No musical suggestion with this blog entry as I don't think one would be appropriate given the topic.

Thoughts or comments can me directed my way at: ooasm2018@gmail.com

White or Red?

Tuesday, December 18/18

So I had my daughter and her family over for dinner tonight and my son-in-law asked if I had any wine in the house and I pointed in the direction of the fridge and to the corner of the dining room where there is a wine rack as well.

The fridge has a couple of bottles of Pinot Grigio chilling and there are a couple of red's in the wine rack. Now he loves a good red, one reason he gets along so well with his mother-in-law lol, but I'm more partial to a cold white any day of the week.

I think my preference comes from just my initial experiences with wine and how the first red I ever had was at room temperature and thus didn't do anything to quench my thirst at the time, whereas the first white was chilled and just did the trick.

Now I don't drink all that much, if we ignore my week in Mexico back in January and the week in Jamaica back in 2015, so I don't pretend to be an expert and try and offer up advice or reviews on the different varietals for either reds or whites, but I do know what I like and tend to stick with it for the long term.

My appreciation for a nice Pinot Grigio came courtesy of my time with Corinna as she liked a glass at night with some cheese or a sliced up baguette, a trend I've continued the last few years.

No, I'm not much of a drinker but lately I've started to try different beers as I do like to experiment along those lines, for a little while it was all cider based ales like Somersby and Strong Bow, with recent trend towards Big Wave Pale Ale from Hawaii, my son is partial to that one and I have to remind him whose beer it is or they go quickly from the fridge.

I've heard that some people put ice cubes in a red but I worry that would dilute the flavour too much and make me look like a total rube.......

So for now I'll be sticking with the Pinot but wonder what wines you enjoy and would recommend or pair with certain meals??

My name is Marcus and I'll never buy wine in a box but I won't raise my nose upwards if you do as we like what we like.

Today's musical suggestion is "Flash" by Queen. A little retro to the movie that Queen scored :)

Questions & comments can me directed to me at: ooasm2018@gmail.com

Relationships........

Saturday, December 15/18

Many people think of relationships in terms of the physical intimacy that two people can have with one another and that is part of the package for sure.

When I think of a relationship it tends to transcend past the purely physical and be more all encompassing.

Now I know there are a few of you asking how anything can be more encompassing than the physical connection two people can share when they are naked under the covers doing what people do in such situations but there are far more ways to be totally in love with someone than just the mere sight of them exposed to your lustful gaze.

The overwhelming pleasure of being with someone isn't just the actual affection you share, sex, and companionship. It's the silent permission you've exchanged through a glance to reach out and brush your hand against her cheek, softly push a loose strand of hair back behind her ear, to thread your fingers through hers as you walk through a store, to snuggle on a couch and softly kiss the side of her neck.

The unspoken desire to send a flirty text at 2:30 in the afternoon letting her know you've thought of her and it made you smile, the picture you take of something you see while out that you just know she'll laugh at when she sees it come across her phone from you, it's getting up early on a Sunday and getting her coffee to start her day off right, it's wandering around the LCBO trying to find that Pinot Grigio that she just loves to have a glass of at the end of the day with some cheese that makes her feel happy and loved.

It's the scent of her perfume lingering in your bedroom days after she's spent the night.

It is being willing to try new things and new ways of preparing food.

It's each of you having your own opinion, being strong enough in your feelings to not let the other steam roll you but also taking the time to hear what they are saying and not belittling that opinion.

Don't get me wrong........there is nothing wrong with hot lust filled moments as those are pretty damn good in my book.......but those moments don't constitute all that a relationship is made of.....not in a long shot.....not to this guy

My name is Marcus and my understanding of what makes me happy in a relationship has evolved so much over time and will hopefully continue to evolve when I bump into my one.

Today's musical suggestion is "What's My Age Again?" by Blink 182  Original video was kind of cool and the remake incorporates some of the same scenes talking account the change in years.

On a side note........if you'd like to tell me what's going on with you or provide some feedback on a blog entry you can now do so by emailing me at ooasm2018@gmail.com

Why do I end the blog like I do?

Thursday, December 13/18

So I was asked why I end each blog like I do, with my name and some little blurb about myself and my hope to meet the one......oh, and a musical recommendation, usually lol

When I first started out making entries about dating, being single, raising my kids, and just trying to get through life the best I could I used to add quotes from historical figures as I found some of those messages to be either thought provoking and/or representative of my emotional state at that moment in time.  It sort of developed from watching One Tree Hill where every episode referenced a quote and it just stuck with me.

Over time it's morphed to include movies and now music, as both of these mediums can and have impacted how I feel about myself, what I'm hoping to accomplish, and the world around me.

I do not have one creative cell in my body but really appreciate those artists who can make me feel something, whether it be in film, books, art, or music.  At one time or another each of those mediums has touched me in such a way as to leave me feeling happy, sad, despondent, elated, and most often hopeful.

Music has been the big one lately as I tend to spend my free time these days reading and researching music online.

I'm fast reaching the point where I'll be cutting out the cable TV as really neither my son or I watch it much other than some sports, both of us are more likely to be found watching NetFlix or YouTube.

There are so many good artists out there that I know it would be next to impossible for one person to discover them all by themselves and thus that is one reason I share my own findings with anyone who reads the blog, that and I hope in return to receive some suggestions from you as well.

So there is the reason I end things the way I do.

My name is Marcus and though I am single at the moment I do not consider myself alone as I've taken to trying to be more open to the world around me and the opportunities to brings me these days than I've ever been before in my life. Is that ex post proof that with age comes some wisdom?

Today's musical suggestion is "Helplessly Hoping" by Crosby & Stills & Nash

I broke a vow and it made me smile

Monday, December 10/18

I took a vow about a year ago after some serious time spent pondering what was the sense in reminding myself over and over of what once was.

Seriously, the question was why was I continuously doing something that did nothing but make me sad and brought me no pleasure, unless of course I was a masochist who needed the constant reminder of what I was missing in my life.

So by now you are probably trying to figure out what was I doing that was so horrible that I had taken a vow to stop.........

No, I was not touching myself so please get that thought of your minds!!!  This isn't that kind of blog, if that's something you are interested in than please Google it and find another blog please.

Nope, it was nothing more than looking at a  Facebook profile every few days.

No harm in that right? Wrong when than profile is that of your former girlfriend......

Pathetic?  Absolutely (there is that damn honesty thing again)

Stubborn? For sure

Rewarding? Not in the least, well partially not in the least as I never came across any updates that she had moved onto someone else.

Reckless?  I don't think so as I never once did more than peek.

Smart? Hell's No!!!!  There is smart and there is dumb. Usually I'm a pretty smart guy but sometimes the heart makes us, me in particular, very very dumb.

So I had come to all of these same conclusions on my own back in early 2017 and made a solemn vow to stop torturing myself and refrain from looking at her profile. She had moved on and this was the last thing I needed to do in order to begin doing so myself.

I'll admit the temptation has always been there and never more so than the first few months to go and take a sneak peek, but I didn't give in to the temptation and grew more and more proud of myself for having the willpower to honour the vow.

So you might ask just what happened that led me to break my vow now after being so good for the past 18+ months?

Honestly not a clue as I was online yesterday doing some research to help my son study for his Financial Accounting Final exam when Facebook notified me that I had new friend request, which is odd in and of itself given I don't have a public profile for a variety of reasons, primarily related to privacy for my children, and I opened my FB account to see this notification and literally before I even knew I was doing it found myself typing Corinne's name in the search box.

Of course FB being the little enabler that it is completed my search with her full name and opened up her profile right before my very eyes. Damn Mark Zuckerberg and his creation.

So as I sat there pondering the betrayal of my vow it dawned on me that I really liked her profile picture, it was a new selfie taken in her SUV and in it she was flashing that sweet smile I had grown accustomed to seeing flashed my way.

But something about it just screamed out to me.

That rattled me a bit as beside that smile, which is plenty enough reason for me, I wasn't sure what was keeping my focus so intent on the picture.

Think I sat there for a few minutes before I started to smile and knew what it was..........

I'm more than positive that the earrings she is wearing in the picture were my Christmas gift to her from 2014. I'm pretty sure that was the only time in my life I've purchased earrings for a woman before and it just came to me as I was walking past the Pandora store in the Bayshore Shopping Centre one day after work.

It makes me feel good to know she still has them and hopefully each time she puts them on she thinks of me and has good memories of me and our time together, as I do of her when I play a round of golf with the clubs she bought me for my birthday.

Someone once said to me that sometimes we meet the right person at the wrong time and I used to wonder if that was our story but I tend to think that......

if the heart matters enough, timing doesn't

My name is Marcus and I've renewed that vow once again, not because of any pain but rather to keep that memory untainted in my heart.

Today's musical recommendation is a little old school.......The Way You Look Tonight by old blue eyes himself, Mister Frank Sinatra

Heavy is the.......

Wednesday, December 05/18

So in one of the episodes of The Crown Elizabeth is talking to her grandmother and she is told something that made me think about how that is true about love.....

"Heavy is the head that holds the crown"

I was laying in bed this morning when that phrase just popped into my thoughts but more along the lines of love and my interpretation goes something like this.....

"Heavy is the heart that has been broken"

We've all had our heart broken at one time or another and had that aching hollow feeling inside our chest where our heart used to reside.

More often than not it's been broken by someone else's action but there are those rare times we take an action that results in this pain being self inflicted, it's rare but does happen, most often when you know the decision to end things is for the best in the long run but know it's going to hurt like hell in the short run, exceedingly hurt like a mother fucker!!

I've been on both sides of that equation and neither side feels good. I hated having my heart ripped out by someone, hated ripping it out myself when I had to end something, and hated the pain I caused someone who I could no longer be with but who once meant something to me.

Sometimes the pain is transitory and other times it's like the damn thing puts down roots and won't let go no matter what you do.

I had transitory when my marriage ended and I was looking at starting fresh in life. Roots of a damn oak tree was what I went through when things went south with Corrine, being honest requires me to admit that I doubt all those roots have been dug up and removed just quite yet, though I've made enough progress to put myself back out there for another shot at the so called golden ring.

Now I'm the first to admit that the mere thought of putting myself back out there is enough to give me heart palpitations and not the good kind when you make eye contact with someone across a room and just feel that electric shock course through your body, and we've all had that so don't even think about playing dumb on this one folks as I'll call bullshit right away.

But I am doing just that, putting myself back in the game so to speak, as I've come to realize that I'd rather risk the possibility of getting hurt than sit on the sidelines and moan and bitch about how much I hate being alone, and I've come to realize more and more the last few months that I really do hate being alone, probably more than I hate the Toronto Maple Leafs and I loathe that organization to my very core so that's saying quite a bit.

So there may come a time, hopefully sooner rather than later as I'm not getting any younger, when I meet a nice woman who so catches my eye that I step out of my comfort zone and actually approach her to say something lame like "Hi, how are you doing today?" in the hope she might feel something in return and respond in a positive manner.

People always find it shocking to hear me describe myself as an introvert as they say I don't come across as introverted or shy in the least but it really is how I see myself. It's easier for me to talk in front of a room of 500 people than it is to just talk to one woman I find attractive.

I have no game when it comes to that oh so important first greeting and there are no do overs once you've put your foot in your mouth and have no hope of recovering.

Now having said that I am happy to be open once more to finding love and all it's wonderful intricacies, both small and large.

My name is Marcus and my heart is healed enough to allow someone to get close once again.

Dating Profiles And Some Unsolicited Advice

Wednesday, December 05/18

So as you can see from the date below this one has been on the back burner for a little while and I've actually almost deleted it a few times but decided to resurrect it after seeing a few profiles over the weekend as I went back online.

Sunday, June 03/18

So as part of my ongoing self reflection I've taken down my dating profile and have decided to just let nature take it's course when it comes to me and the possibility of meeting the imperfectly perfect one for me.

Now I've been on and off a dating site since 2007 and have had both good and bad experiences, mostly bad in terms of quantity, the good came from the quality of some pretty amazing women I've had the good fortune to talk with and in two cases actually get to date.

I think I've always tried to be pretty upfront and honest when it came to my profiles and hope that what anyone saw was the real me in terms of my looks, yes there were pictures, and my intentions, based on what I wrote about myself and what I was seeking.

First and foremost I've always stated that I'm a romantic at heart. I believe in love and the ever lasting happiness it can bring when two people really give it a try. I believe in butterflies, holding open doors, not following some dumb 3 day rule before calling or texting after the first date, that a kiss is as far as one should ever go on a first date, and that love should never be confused with getting another notch on a bedpost, for either party.

My dating profile was brutally honest about who I was and I never shied away from calling it like I saw it when I came to my appearance with my words or my pictures. I'm not God's gift to women and I'm actually fine with that. I know that most women don't give me a second glance when they pass me or I enter a room. But guess what? I'm not here for most women. I'm here for that one who will see beyond the few extra pounds I was carrying or the grey hair that I've had for more years than I care to remember. I'm here for the one who sees my imperfections, and trust me when I say we've all got them, and still thinks I might be worth the effort getting to know.

Being on a dating website has given me ample opportunities to observe far more profiles than I ever thought possible or in reality wanted to see in my life. But online dating really is the new version of passing notes in the hallway or classroom, something those of us who are older can probably relate to more than anyone younger than 25 can in this day and age of electronic mediums and social websites.

So here is my take on some of the things I've come across on profiles....

Pictures! Pictures are good and let's face it both genders are visual despite the theory that it's only men who desire to see a picture.

But here is the thing with pictures, be honest with those you are posting.

So what do I mean when I say be honest with those pictures?

Make sure they are of you or the viewer can at least figure out who you are!

I can't begin to say how many profiles I've come across that had nothing but pictures in a group setting. Do you know how hard it can be to try and determine who the profile belongs to when everyone looks pretty much alike in the picture? If you are going to post a picture in a group setting or with a couple of your girlfriends please cut us some slack and give us a hint which one is you, it's pretty nerve wracking contemplating sending a message when you'd like to comment on the picture but are petrified to say anything for fear lest you mention the wrong woman in the the picture.

Oh, and maybe post some pictures taken in the last year or so. I've come across so many pictures that are 5 years or older, heck there are quite a few that I've come across with pictures from university days and that is just wrong in so many ways.

On another note, I get it that paint night is the new thing and applaud all the efforts being made to expand your horizons and take on new challenges but is it really necessary to post 5+ pictures of various paintings you've done over the last year? I'm talking along the lines of 5 pictures of paintings out of a total of maybe 6-7 on the profile.

While we are at it, let's cut back on the dog and cat pictures as well okay. The majority of us like pets but does anyone really need to see 4 pictures of Mr. Whiskers and 3 of Princess Mika? No, I didn't think so either. Unless you want the guy thinking crazy cat lady I'd say leave those off the site completely.

Additionally, I can't begin to count the number of profiles that have far too many scenery pictures posted. Here is my tip on posting those - don't or leave it at one at the most and make it somewhere interesting like Europe or Australia and not the dock at a cottage or a tree. Seen plenty of those and they leave me wondering what the person was thinking by posting them.

Don't even get me started on pictures taken using a Snap chat filter........

There is no straight man alive who will look at a profile picture taken using a Snap chat filter of you with bunny ears or stars exploding around your face and think to himself "I've so got to meet this woman, she's the one for me"  Should any man actually send you a message complimenting you on using a Snap chat filter in a profile picture all I can say is run. Run Fast and run far as that is the kind of guy who says things like "it puts the lotion on or it gets the hose"....yes, a Silence of the Lambs quote.

So now that we've got the whole picture issue addressed once and for all, let's move onto the actual wording of your profile.

This one is easier. Just tell us a little about yourself and what you are hoping to find in a potential boyfriend. Less isn't more and more isn't less if you know what I mean.

You just want to tease us with a few interesting things about yourself. Do you like sports and what kind, are you into music and big on attending festivals, do you live to travel and what are some future spots you'd like to see.

Just give us some clues as to what makes you you so we can make an informed decision if we dare to reach out and make first contact.

Regardless of how many trolls are on the various websites believe me when I say that the majority of men are beyond scared when it comes to making the first move, despite the many messages you might get that are down right disgusting in nature, trust me I've heard all about them from friends and readers of the blog, there are actually some decent guys looking to make a connection, one that might actually, possibly, maybe, potentially end up leading to a real date.

Now before anyone gets their knickers in a bunch relax, I know there are just as many issues with men's profiles but I'm not viewing those as I don't bat for the home team, no this guy bats for the visiting team, he appreciates, nay, he loves the female form and always will.

Guys are idiots so nothing I write here will be of any assistance to them but there is the off chance a woman might see something in this blog and go back and review her own profile and see something that might need updating.

My name is Marcus and being an introvert makes dating so damn hard but preserver I shall.....

Today's musical suggestion is "Swimming in Stars" by the Wayfarers