Wednesday, December 05/18
So as you can see from the date below this one has been on the back burner for a little while and I've actually almost deleted it a few times but decided to resurrect it after seeing a few profiles over the weekend as I went back online.
Sunday, June 03/18
So as part of my ongoing self reflection I've taken down my dating profile and have decided to just let nature take it's course when it comes to me and the possibility of meeting the imperfectly perfect one for me.
Now I've been on and off a dating site since 2007 and have had both good and bad experiences, mostly bad in terms of quantity, the good came from the quality of some pretty amazing women I've had the good fortune to talk with and in two cases actually get to date.
I think I've always tried to be pretty upfront and honest when it came to my profiles and hope that what anyone saw was the real me in terms of my looks, yes there were pictures, and my intentions, based on what I wrote about myself and what I was seeking.
First and foremost I've always stated that I'm a romantic at heart. I believe in love and the ever lasting happiness it can bring when two people really give it a try. I believe in butterflies, holding open doors, not following some dumb 3 day rule before calling or texting after the first date, that a kiss is as far as one should ever go on a first date, and that love should never be confused with getting another notch on a bedpost, for either party.
My dating profile was brutally honest about who I was and I never shied away from calling it like I saw it when I came to my appearance with my words or my pictures. I'm not God's gift to women and I'm actually fine with that. I know that most women don't give me a second glance when they pass me or I enter a room. But guess what? I'm not here for most women. I'm here for that one who will see beyond the few extra pounds I was carrying or the grey hair that I've had for more years than I care to remember. I'm here for the one who sees my imperfections, and trust me when I say we've all got them, and still thinks I might be worth the effort getting to know.
Being on a dating website has given me ample opportunities to observe far more profiles than I ever thought possible or in reality wanted to see in my life. But online dating really is the new version of passing notes in the hallway or classroom, something those of us who are older can probably relate to more than anyone younger than 25 can in this day and age of electronic mediums and social websites.
So here is my take on some of the things I've come across on profiles....
Pictures! Pictures are good and let's face it both genders are visual despite the theory that it's only men who desire to see a picture.
But here is the thing with pictures, be honest with those you are posting.
So what do I mean when I say be honest with those pictures?
Make sure they are of you or the viewer can at least figure out who you are!
I can't begin to say how many profiles I've come across that had nothing but pictures in a group setting. Do you know how hard it can be to try and determine who the profile belongs to when everyone looks pretty much alike in the picture? If you are going to post a picture in a group setting or with a couple of your girlfriends please cut us some slack and give us a hint which one is you, it's pretty nerve wracking contemplating sending a message when you'd like to comment on the picture but are petrified to say anything for fear lest you mention the wrong woman in the the picture.
Oh, and maybe post some pictures taken in the last year or so. I've come across so many pictures that are 5 years or older, heck there are quite a few that I've come across with pictures from university days and that is just wrong in so many ways.
On another note, I get it that paint night is the new thing and applaud all the efforts being made to expand your horizons and take on new challenges but is it really necessary to post 5+ pictures of various paintings you've done over the last year? I'm talking along the lines of 5 pictures of paintings out of a total of maybe 6-7 on the profile.
While we are at it, let's cut back on the dog and cat pictures as well okay. The majority of us like pets but does anyone really need to see 4 pictures of Mr. Whiskers and 3 of Princess Mika? No, I didn't think so either. Unless you want the guy thinking crazy cat lady I'd say leave those off the site completely.
Additionally, I can't begin to count the number of profiles that have far too many scenery pictures posted. Here is my tip on posting those - don't or leave it at one at the most and make it somewhere interesting like Europe or Australia and not the dock at a cottage or a tree. Seen plenty of those and they leave me wondering what the person was thinking by posting them.
Don't even get me started on pictures taken using a Snap chat filter........
There is no straight man alive who will look at a profile picture taken using a Snap chat filter of you with bunny ears or stars exploding around your face and think to himself "I've so got to meet this woman, she's the one for me" Should any man actually send you a message complimenting you on using a Snap chat filter in a profile picture all I can say is run. Run Fast and run far as that is the kind of guy who says things like "it puts the lotion on or it gets the hose"....yes, a Silence of the Lambs quote.
So now that we've got the whole picture issue addressed once and for all, let's move onto the actual wording of your profile.
This one is easier. Just tell us a little about yourself and what you are hoping to find in a potential boyfriend. Less isn't more and more isn't less if you know what I mean.
You just want to tease us with a few interesting things about yourself. Do you like sports and what kind, are you into music and big on attending festivals, do you live to travel and what are some future spots you'd like to see.
Just give us some clues as to what makes you you so we can make an informed decision if we dare to reach out and make first contact.
Regardless of how many trolls are on the various websites believe me when I say that the majority of men are beyond scared when it comes to making the first move, despite the many messages you might get that are down right disgusting in nature, trust me I've heard all about them from friends and readers of the blog, there are actually some decent guys looking to make a connection, one that might actually, possibly, maybe, potentially end up leading to a real date.
Now before anyone gets their knickers in a bunch relax, I know there are just as many issues with men's profiles but I'm not viewing those as I don't bat for the home team, no this guy bats for the visiting team, he appreciates, nay, he loves the female form and always will.
Guys are idiots so nothing I write here will be of any assistance to them but there is the off chance a woman might see something in this blog and go back and review her own profile and see something that might need updating.
My name is Marcus and being an introvert makes dating so damn hard but preserver I shall.....
Today's musical suggestion is "Swimming in Stars" by the Wayfarers
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