What is the definition of bullying?

October 23/13

So just what is the definition of bullying?

I thought this was a pretty easy thing to understand but am starting to wonder if I'm out of touch with the times.

In my mind bullying is the intentional attempt by one person to another that results in harm. The harm can be emotional or physical. Physical may include fighting, throwing things at a person, damaging someone else's property, depriving them access to a location, or even taking said property away. Emotional harm could include name calling, words of encouragement to others to get them to ignore a person, excluding them from a group or event to which they are entitled and said exclusion could go a long ways to ostracizing them.

I'll concede there are probably many more ways to bully a person but those are the ones that come to mind at the spur of the moment.

What I never considered bullying was losing a game.  A simple game that both parties chose to participate in over the course of a set time frame.

Sports are important as they teach us how to get along to meet a common objective while also offering some form of exercise and in some cases a method for community bonding.

High school sports are a prime example of this and depending on the state the importance changes based on the sport. Indiana, Illinois, Ohio, and New York are huge basketball states. Texas, Virginia, Alabama, and Florida are massive football states. Football is so important in Texas that it is usually ranked in this order: Football, Family, and Faith.

Last week there was a game played down in Dallas at the 4A level between Aledo High and Western Hills High that resulted in a very lopsided score. How lopsided? Try Aledo 91 and Western Hills 0 lopsided.

Now before anyone gets all riled up listen to to a few facts. Aledo is the top ranked school in the Texas 4A division and Western isn't even close to breaking the top 50 in that class. Now I went to high school in San Diego where the schools are ranked based on size so I'm guessing that is the case in Texas as well.  Aledo runs a common themed offensive scheme from Pop Warner where most kids get introduced to organized football through to the high school. This offers a distinct advantage as players don't need to learn a new system as they work their way up the age classes. Aledo only played it's 1st team players for the the first 20 plays of the game, played the 2nd team for the next 20 plays, and finished the game using its third and fourth string offence and defence. The game clock was left running without any stoppages for incomplete passes or players being forced out of bounds.

The head coach for Western Hills said he had no problems with the score and understood that Aledo did all they could to keep things under control with the exception of taking a knee every down or playing with fewer players.

The problem comes from one parent from Western Hills High School who has filed a formal complaint of bullying against the head coach of Aledo High. You read that right, a formal complaint of bullying.  Since when did getting beaten in the field of play amount to bullying?

I wonder if this same parent storms into the math department when young Johnny fails a math test because he decided not to study claiming his son is being bullied by the math teacher?  Will they show up at his first job to belittle his bosses should they dare give him a poor performance review?

Maybe mom or dad should ask themselves what could the team he is on have done different to help reduce the score instead of whining and making a formal complaint. Just as a further ado, Western Hills had lost prior games by upwards of 60+ points on at least 2 other occasions - did they file bullying charges after those games?

Bullying is a young woman in Florida getting texts telling her to die, nobody likes you, you won't be missed. Bullying is one teenager commenting to another who she knows lacks self confidence about her appearance "are you really going to eat that donut?"  Bullying is being shoved in a locker because you wore a shirt that looks like it came from Star Trek or you were reading a comic book.

Bullying is not, has never been , nor will ever be the result of losing a game.

I've coached for years at both the competitive and house league levels and had great teams, mid level teams, and a couple of teams so bad that winning was measured in getting a goal scored or making some nice passes. I never ran up a score nor did I ever whine when my team was badly beaten on the field of play. I've always tried my best to teach my players that how you carry yourself after a game is as important as how you played the game itself.

There are times I miss living in the states and than there are times like this when I'm so glad I moved away as I can't believe the number of useless people who have nothing better to do than waste a school principals time having to respond to a formal complaint that his coach bullied the other school by winning a game.

I weep for America's future if this is how its youth are being taught to handle adversity.