Reliving the Nightmare

Tuesday, May 03/16

So over the course of the last couple of weeks my son has been battling headaches and missed a couple of days of school because of them.

Any one who has followed the blog knows this tends to set off my panic alarms as headaches were the very first symptom he displayed back in '09 when he developed his sinus infection and resulting brain abscess.

Now he's had headaches since than and even had a recurrence of the sinus infection a few years back but not like the one's he was having lately.  The one good thing is that he didn't lose his appetite or suddenly want to isolate himself in his room in order to avoid sound or light.

But the fact that these headaches were so persistent and were coming across as sinus headaches sort of made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

So last Tuesday I made an appointment to take him into see our family doctor on Friday but he didn't even make it through first period on Wednesday before I was getting a text asking if I could come get him as he was feeling light headed. I picked him up and called the doctors office to see if they could get him in that day and was able to secure a spot during clinic hours at 6pm but not with our doctor as she wasn't on clinic coverage that week, the alternative was taking him to CHEO and waiting for a few hours so we decided to do the clinic.

When I made the appointment the nurse told me she'd make sure the doctor seeing him read up on his file so he'd be prepared for us. At the time that sounded perfect but hindsight would prove me wrong.

We got there on time and were whisked back to one of the patient rooms and the doctor went over his symptoms, asking a lot of questions, and did an examination to see what could be going on.

He felt that the headaches weren't neurological in nature, were sinus related, and more than likely the result of seasonal allergies, which my son does suffer from, which could be treated with an antibiotic, one which he's taken before and proven successful in getting him better.

Now where things sort of detoured is when the doctor added the caveat that should any of the other symptoms appear I was to immediately take him to CHEO and have them give him a CT scan or MRI so we could rule out a new brain abscess. That is the very last thing to say in front of someone who has had one once before as it dredges up so many horrible memories. We were also given papers to get blood work done to check his white cell count and iron levels to make sure those were good.

After we left my son was quiet and didn't say a word as I filled the prescription or when I loaded up on some probiotic yogurt to help his stomach deal with the impact of the medicine. When we got home he asked if I could make him a grilled cheese sandwich and some tomato soup, his go to meal when he isn't feeling great. We watched a little television before we made it an early night as we had to be at the lab for 7am in order to avoid the long lines, as it was we still ended up waiting almost an hour before it was his turn. He was a trooper when they drew the blood, as he should be given how often they did it in 09/10 while he was at CHEO.

I agreed to let him stay home but he wasn't allowed to use the computer or play any video games. He ended up pretty much alternating between naps and doing some reading for chemistry.

We had some pork chops and rice when I got home and got caught up on some of the shows I had recorded over the past couple of weeks and it was lights out by 9pm as he had a chemistry test on Friday morning.

Friday came around and I could tell something was bothering him as he pushed his cereal from one part of the bowl to the next without eating any of it but given how he deals with things I waited for him to talk to me about it.  I didn't have to wait too long as he was antsy in the car ride to school and by the time we were nearing Arby's I could see he was fighting back tears so I pulled into the parking lot and asked him what was wrong.

"Dad, what if it's back? I'm scared"

I told him there was no way in hell I'd let anything happen to him nor would his mother or sister. "Hell, you're sister would drag a doctor by the collar to treat you if she had too"

He tried to smile but I could see this was really shaking him up so I asked why he thought it was back and he said he'd had the headaches for almost a week, though the intensity fluctuated, and now this morning he'd had no appetite, and the comments by the doctor freaked him out.

I told him that the last time this happened he'd had the headaches build up over a course of two weeks, completely lost his appetite, couldn't even hold down water, couldn't stand any sound, and any kind of light made him nauseous. I said it was true that he did have the headache but up until this morning his appetite had been fine, reminding him of the dinner and snacks he had consumed just last night, and neither sound nor light was bothering him at all. I told him even if it was back that given his history the first thing they'd do is a MRI and at the first sign of a new abscess they'd flood his system with a cocktail of antibiotics to kick it's ass!!!!

I said that his medical history now worked in his favour as CHEO wouldn't hesitate this time like they did back in '09 and getting him treated would be much smoother but I didn't think he was going to need it as the antibiotics were going to kick in over the next couple of days and he'd be fine.

I asked him to try and go to school as he'd missed too much this semester plus being around people would be the best thing as if he did have an issue someone would notice it right away versus being at home alone made me nervous as I hated being out of touch with him.

I called his mom and we talked to her on speaker so he could hear the conversation and she pretty much reiterated all I had said and asked him one question "Of everyone you know who do you think would be rushing you to CHEO if there was any doubt about things? and he smiled at me and replied "Dad" which made his mom laugh and say "You're damned right so don't worry and leave that to us"

He appeared to calm down and agreed to go to school with the agreement that if he felt worse he could call and we'd come and get him. I dropped him off and as I was pulling into the parking lot at work my cell went off and I thought to myself "well that didn't take long" and looked down and was surprised to see the call was from his mother.

"What's up?"
"You know if he does call, it'll be you he calls right?
"Why do you say that?"
"Marcus, he feels safer with you when he's sick as he knows you'll move heaven and earth to protect him"
"Don't be silly, you'd do the same thing"
"You're right I would, but you've already done it once and saved his life and he'll never forget that"

He made it through the day without any incident and he called me Friday night to let me know his headache was down to a 2 from a 6 on his pain scale (0 is no pain and 10 is he wants to die it hurts so bad) and he'd eaten a nice grilled steak , baked potato, and green beans for dinner while watching a movie with his mom and her partner. Better news could not be sweeter to my ears!!!!

Over the weekend I heard from his mom that he was doing better and it looked like the antibiotics had kicked in perfectly once again and that she'd heard from our family doctor that his blood work had come back all clear with his white count just where it needed to be. Looks like we nipped another sinus infection in the early stages and it's something we'll have to always watch out for with him.

I can honestly admit now that I was scared this was a repeat as the persistence of the headaches shook me up and had me ready to head to CHEO and the possibility of more trauma.

It is times like these that I hate being alone, not because I want to dump this emotional toll on another person but just so I could have someone there for me as I dealt with it. We all need a shoulder to lean on sometimes and that would have qualified as a shoulder moment.

My name is Marcus and this blog is my attempt to document being a parent, friend, employee, mastering the perfect 8 iron from +135 yards, and attempts to date once again. Some of the entries are light hearted and others, like this one, are emotionally draining. I leave it up to you the reader to pick and choose which you read and hope they offer some insight into the blogger as well as yourself.