Tuesday, December 31st, 2019
So tonight marks the end of one decade and the start of another.
I'm not really big on reflecting back on the year just ending nor am I big on declaring resolutions for the new year opening up at midnight.
2019 saw the first real breakdown in my body I've ever really experienced. The left knee injury, followed by tendinitis in my right shoulder, and second back surgery in 3 years sort of had me questioning just what was going on with me health-wise. The bottom line is that I'm getting older and need to do a better job of exercising and eating right if I want to be around for a long time, and I do want to be around to see my grandkids graduate university.
Both the x-ray and MRI came back negative on my left knee but luckily my doctor remembered that was the same situation with my right meniscus back in 2009 and surgery did prove there was a tear that needed to be repaired as it wasn't healing on its own. Because of that, I'm now scheduled to see a sports injury doctor, the same one who recommended my meniscus surgery, on February 10th and could have surgery sometime this summer, depending on if I'm even still in Canada lol
The past year has seen me start a new job, the aforementioned health issues, lots of time with my amazing grandson, the announcement that he has a little sister coming next year, and a quiet return to the dating pool.
It has also seen me continue to try and stay on an even keel emotionally, to appreciate the life I've been afforded, to share things with my children and grandson so they know that as long as I'm around they'll never walk alone.
It's seen me think about those who have had a positive impact on my life, whether our interaction was recent or years ago, and appreciate them for it, to miss them, and to wish for nothing but the best for each person.
Things happen and we can't always control them so we better just be able to roll with the punches and try like hell to see the good even when there might have been some deep hurt at the time.
I hope 2020 finds me making new friends, whether in person or through this blog, that I grow as a person, always striving to improve my self, body, mind, and soul. That I don't lose that inner child that sees me marvel at the things around me, that maybe get lucky and meet someone who thinks I'm as imperfectly perfect for her as I think she is imperfectly perfect for me, that maybe we share our last first kiss.
My name is Marcus and I wish each of you happiness, peace, good health, and the love of family and friends. May 2020 be your most awesome year as I hope it's mine!!!!!
Happy New Year!!!!
Marcus
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Work And Some Interesting Family Conversations
Monday, December 30/19
Over the course of the past 10-14 days, I've had a couple of chats with people at work around some opportunities that have been brought to my attention and these have translated into some conversations with my kids and ex-wife.
Maybe a little background will add some clarity to things.
I work as a Business Analyst (BA) for a large company that is the leader in its field and has operations around the world. We've pretty much been in growth mode from day one and continue to pursue business opportunities around the world through both internal and external growth. That's a fancy way of saying we undertake internal projects that we think will continue to enhance our market share and when we come across another company that could meet those needs quicker than we could do so ourselves, well we pursue an acquisition of said companies.
The description Business Analyst is now used in place of Financial Analyst these days and pretty much means I get tasked with fixing things that don't work or seeing options that might make things work better. Over the past 11 months, I've worked on everything from preparing How-To-Guides for the creation of new product SKUs and associated accounting codes to reconciling the two ERP systems we use to understanding proposed provincial sales tax changes and how we are going to implement them in our primary ERP so as to remain regulatory compliant.
I can't say I've had a dull day yet and that is pretty cool. My mandate is to support the entire finance team from Accounts Receivable to Accounts Payable to Fixed Assets to Treasury to Financial Reporting to Inventory Costing to Planning & Analysis. Along the way, I've learned quite a bit and made some great connections.
One of these connections was with the former director of International Reporting & Fixed Assets, we both started the same day and went through our orientation together and became friends in the process. Karla recently changed positions and moved into Business Integration after the International Reporting team was moved under technical accounting in order to facilitate a faster consolidation of our worldwide results.
Back before the Christmas party, I was walking past her office when she called me in and asked me to close the door so we could talk. I didn't think too much of her request as we'd been having on and off talks about the fixed assets manager and his inability to lead her old team without throwing his staff under the bus when things he presented were incorrect due to his own laziness.
As I sat down she was typing a search in the company opportunities database and asked me if I was happy in my current role. I thought about it for a moment and told her I wasn't unhappy, which made her laugh and accuse me of dodging the question.
I admitted to being a bit frustrated at the group's inability to find a 2nd BA to relieve some of the tasks I deal with and free me up for some upcoming projects, explaining that while I'm busy every day that it sort of feels like I'm not really getting anything done. The problem we are having with finding that 2nd BA is that they need a solid grounding in accounting and some exposure to ERP systems, we can find people with one side of the equation but not the other side, to make matters worse I've been flat out told that when I review the resumes I'm to try and imagine if the candidate could be another me, that's tough as I've got a tonne of experience covering everything from basic accounting to due diligence review and consolidated forecasting, not something many people are going to walk in off the street with these days, things are at the point where I think we've decided to try and find a junior analyst and just mold them into what we want, that presents problems as I'm going to be the person supervising them and I really hate that part of my job.
Karla turned her laptop around and showed me the results of her search - Senior Project Manager in the Business Integration group. She said when she saw this posting I was the first person to come to mind and she wanted to let me know about the opening. I read the description and it sounded pretty interesting. dealing with bringing recent acquisitions into the fold and making sure they were properly set up with regards to facilities, IT support, human resources, and the conversion of accounting systems to our own. But one thing caught my eye.....the position is in Germany!
She smiled and said she'd already mentioned me to her boss and was told to have me review the position and contact her directly to discuss the opportunity if I was interested.
I said I'd look things over and consider it. As I left her office I passed by the workstation where the Business Integration executive assistant sits and Rene smiled at me and asked if my passport was up to date and should she send me the package they had about living and working in Germany.
I frowned and said she was getting way ahead of herself and to please keep this on the quiet as the last thing I wanted was gossip to spread about me leaving before I'd even had a real chance to consider it and talk things over with my own Vice President and Director.
I thought about the whole situation over the next few days and decided to get my kid's thoughts on the whole opportunity. Before I even asked either of them what they thought about the possibility of me moving to Europe for at least a year I sort of had it in my mind how each would react.
My son would be supportive and see the opportunities if offered for a visit or two and maybe taking a side trip to Barcelona to see his beloved FCB (Football Club Barcelona). My daughter would be aghast that I would even be considering any move that would take me away from my grandson and soon to arrive granddaughter (Feb 2020), regardless of any opportunities it might present for travel to see me in Europe.
I broached the subject with my son first while he was hanging out with his girlfriend and here is part of how things went......
Me: So I've been approached about the possibility of taking on a new position at work.
Son: That's fantastic as I know you've been kind of frustrated lately, you don't look excited. what's wrong?
Me: I am excited about the position as it's not even in finance and would really push my boundaries but there's a catch, I'd have to move job locations.
Son: That's not too bad, I'm guessing this means you'd be working down in (left blank on purpose) since that's where you guys are headquartered right? It's only an hour or so away and I could still commute to Carleton or stay mom's during the week and see you on weekends
Me: Unfortunately, this move would be a little farther than (blank) and would actually mean I'd be moving to Frankfurt Germany for probably at least a year
At this point, the look on his face was if I'd just confessed to dropping puppies down a well and I thought for a moment he might cry.
He looked from me to his girlfriend and back to me before he responded
Son: But we'll never see each other, who is going to keep me calm during exams, we've never gone more than two weeks without seeing one another dad
I walked across the kitchen to him and gave him a big hug and told him he didn't need me around as much, that this just completed semester what his best ever and he hadn't even needed me to talk him down stress and anxiety wise during exams.
Son: Maybe not but the comfort and security of knowing I could just call you or come by is always there for me dad.
Me: I'm just exploring the option Bagoo and still have to talk to your sister about it so nothing is set in stone.
He gave me a rueful smile like he thought it was a done deal, which it totally isn't, and went to drive his girlfriend home. When he got back he told me I should do what was best for me and he was sorry for reacting the way he did, that his girlfriend had given him an earful on the drive to her house for his being so selfish and only thinking of himself given how I've always been there for him.
I hear the words he tells me but also know in my heart he's not thrilled with the thought.
I went to see my daughter on Boxing day and told her about the possibility and was prepared for an even more vehemently negative response from her when she totally shocked me by smiling, hugging me, and telling me to go for it, with real happiness for me in her voice.
She asked how long I'd be required to stay in Europe, would I be able to come home when she has her baby, and would she be able to visit me.
I laughed and told her I didn't have any specifics yet as I hadn't even formally put my name forward for consideration but there was no way in hell I wouldn't be coming back to see my little princess when she arrives, I wasn't even sure when I would make the move so I could still be here when she goes into labour.
When I got home I called my ex and asked if she had a few moments to talk and outlined what was going on and the kids' reactions, she laughed and said she wasn't really surprised by how each responded, but that if this is something I was really interested in pursuing then I absolutely should go for it and we'd work with our son to help him deal with it, maybe a trip over to visit after he graduates in May would ease his worries about losing me.
Her main comments were to make sure I got it in writing how long I would be required to stay in the position, what expenses are to be covered off, how often could I come back to Canada on the company's dime, and how this impacts my options since I'd probably be transferred to our European holding company that isn't publicly traded, maybe I'd just be intercompany invoiced from my current company to our Gmbh entity.
So now I've been doing some research on rental costs and how to get around Frankfurt since I won't have a car while I'm there. Scary and interesting rolled into one.
I'd say I'm about 75-25 for making the move depending on what I learn when I decide to formally open discussions with the BI Director and talk to my own Finance Director. I think I might get some pushback about leaving and some kind of counter offer made but that's not what I'm hoping for.
So today when I was in the office dealing with some provincial tax and bottle deposit issues that needed to be resolved before the new year started I was surprised to see a meeting request pop up in my email and calendar from none other than the BI Director, asking if I was available to sit down with her on Monday, January 6th and talk about some opportunities in her group that she's been told by several people I'd be a perfect fit to take on.
So much for Karla and Rene keeping things quiet while I considered my options lol
Now my next issue is when do I disclose my interest to my own VP and her direct boss, our Chief Accounting Officer, and group Sr. Vice President. I've had more dealing with him lately and think he's not going to be too thrilled that there's a possibility that not only do they need to find that 2nd BA but now they need to really find another me.
One funny thing is that I was on a conference call about that tax issue when I was asked to stay on the line when the call wrapped up by Corey, one of the two BA's I replaced when they moved over to the SAP Implementation team. He commented that we hadn't spoken in quite a while and that Mike, the other BA, had also mentioned how I never called them for help anymore, that it seemed like things were going good and he was really happy for me as he knew I sort of struggled grasping all the complexities of the whole manufacturing and retail aspect of our business. That made me feel good as it means I've sort of got this shit covered now, well at least until I actually pull the trigger and maybe move to the BI Group and Europe.
My name is Marcus and it's been an interesting few weeks, to say the least. These are my ongoing adventures in parenting, working, golfing, and dating. Maybe a move to another continent might just be the spark my love life needs :-)
Today's musical suggestion is "O'Fortuna" by The Spiritual Project. Love the drumbeat on this one and hope you do as well, lyrics make me think some kind of cataclysmic event is taking place.
Questions and comments are like air and water to me so don't hesitate to send them to me at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Over the course of the past 10-14 days, I've had a couple of chats with people at work around some opportunities that have been brought to my attention and these have translated into some conversations with my kids and ex-wife.
Maybe a little background will add some clarity to things.
I work as a Business Analyst (BA) for a large company that is the leader in its field and has operations around the world. We've pretty much been in growth mode from day one and continue to pursue business opportunities around the world through both internal and external growth. That's a fancy way of saying we undertake internal projects that we think will continue to enhance our market share and when we come across another company that could meet those needs quicker than we could do so ourselves, well we pursue an acquisition of said companies.
The description Business Analyst is now used in place of Financial Analyst these days and pretty much means I get tasked with fixing things that don't work or seeing options that might make things work better. Over the past 11 months, I've worked on everything from preparing How-To-Guides for the creation of new product SKUs and associated accounting codes to reconciling the two ERP systems we use to understanding proposed provincial sales tax changes and how we are going to implement them in our primary ERP so as to remain regulatory compliant.
I can't say I've had a dull day yet and that is pretty cool. My mandate is to support the entire finance team from Accounts Receivable to Accounts Payable to Fixed Assets to Treasury to Financial Reporting to Inventory Costing to Planning & Analysis. Along the way, I've learned quite a bit and made some great connections.
One of these connections was with the former director of International Reporting & Fixed Assets, we both started the same day and went through our orientation together and became friends in the process. Karla recently changed positions and moved into Business Integration after the International Reporting team was moved under technical accounting in order to facilitate a faster consolidation of our worldwide results.
Back before the Christmas party, I was walking past her office when she called me in and asked me to close the door so we could talk. I didn't think too much of her request as we'd been having on and off talks about the fixed assets manager and his inability to lead her old team without throwing his staff under the bus when things he presented were incorrect due to his own laziness.
As I sat down she was typing a search in the company opportunities database and asked me if I was happy in my current role. I thought about it for a moment and told her I wasn't unhappy, which made her laugh and accuse me of dodging the question.
I admitted to being a bit frustrated at the group's inability to find a 2nd BA to relieve some of the tasks I deal with and free me up for some upcoming projects, explaining that while I'm busy every day that it sort of feels like I'm not really getting anything done. The problem we are having with finding that 2nd BA is that they need a solid grounding in accounting and some exposure to ERP systems, we can find people with one side of the equation but not the other side, to make matters worse I've been flat out told that when I review the resumes I'm to try and imagine if the candidate could be another me, that's tough as I've got a tonne of experience covering everything from basic accounting to due diligence review and consolidated forecasting, not something many people are going to walk in off the street with these days, things are at the point where I think we've decided to try and find a junior analyst and just mold them into what we want, that presents problems as I'm going to be the person supervising them and I really hate that part of my job.
Karla turned her laptop around and showed me the results of her search - Senior Project Manager in the Business Integration group. She said when she saw this posting I was the first person to come to mind and she wanted to let me know about the opening. I read the description and it sounded pretty interesting. dealing with bringing recent acquisitions into the fold and making sure they were properly set up with regards to facilities, IT support, human resources, and the conversion of accounting systems to our own. But one thing caught my eye.....the position is in Germany!
She smiled and said she'd already mentioned me to her boss and was told to have me review the position and contact her directly to discuss the opportunity if I was interested.
I said I'd look things over and consider it. As I left her office I passed by the workstation where the Business Integration executive assistant sits and Rene smiled at me and asked if my passport was up to date and should she send me the package they had about living and working in Germany.
I frowned and said she was getting way ahead of herself and to please keep this on the quiet as the last thing I wanted was gossip to spread about me leaving before I'd even had a real chance to consider it and talk things over with my own Vice President and Director.
I thought about the whole situation over the next few days and decided to get my kid's thoughts on the whole opportunity. Before I even asked either of them what they thought about the possibility of me moving to Europe for at least a year I sort of had it in my mind how each would react.
My son would be supportive and see the opportunities if offered for a visit or two and maybe taking a side trip to Barcelona to see his beloved FCB (Football Club Barcelona). My daughter would be aghast that I would even be considering any move that would take me away from my grandson and soon to arrive granddaughter (Feb 2020), regardless of any opportunities it might present for travel to see me in Europe.
I broached the subject with my son first while he was hanging out with his girlfriend and here is part of how things went......
Me: So I've been approached about the possibility of taking on a new position at work.
Son: That's fantastic as I know you've been kind of frustrated lately, you don't look excited. what's wrong?
Me: I am excited about the position as it's not even in finance and would really push my boundaries but there's a catch, I'd have to move job locations.
Son: That's not too bad, I'm guessing this means you'd be working down in (left blank on purpose) since that's where you guys are headquartered right? It's only an hour or so away and I could still commute to Carleton or stay mom's during the week and see you on weekends
Me: Unfortunately, this move would be a little farther than (blank) and would actually mean I'd be moving to Frankfurt Germany for probably at least a year
At this point, the look on his face was if I'd just confessed to dropping puppies down a well and I thought for a moment he might cry.
He looked from me to his girlfriend and back to me before he responded
Son: But we'll never see each other, who is going to keep me calm during exams, we've never gone more than two weeks without seeing one another dad
I walked across the kitchen to him and gave him a big hug and told him he didn't need me around as much, that this just completed semester what his best ever and he hadn't even needed me to talk him down stress and anxiety wise during exams.
Son: Maybe not but the comfort and security of knowing I could just call you or come by is always there for me dad.
Me: I'm just exploring the option Bagoo and still have to talk to your sister about it so nothing is set in stone.
He gave me a rueful smile like he thought it was a done deal, which it totally isn't, and went to drive his girlfriend home. When he got back he told me I should do what was best for me and he was sorry for reacting the way he did, that his girlfriend had given him an earful on the drive to her house for his being so selfish and only thinking of himself given how I've always been there for him.
I hear the words he tells me but also know in my heart he's not thrilled with the thought.
I went to see my daughter on Boxing day and told her about the possibility and was prepared for an even more vehemently negative response from her when she totally shocked me by smiling, hugging me, and telling me to go for it, with real happiness for me in her voice.
She asked how long I'd be required to stay in Europe, would I be able to come home when she has her baby, and would she be able to visit me.
I laughed and told her I didn't have any specifics yet as I hadn't even formally put my name forward for consideration but there was no way in hell I wouldn't be coming back to see my little princess when she arrives, I wasn't even sure when I would make the move so I could still be here when she goes into labour.
When I got home I called my ex and asked if she had a few moments to talk and outlined what was going on and the kids' reactions, she laughed and said she wasn't really surprised by how each responded, but that if this is something I was really interested in pursuing then I absolutely should go for it and we'd work with our son to help him deal with it, maybe a trip over to visit after he graduates in May would ease his worries about losing me.
Her main comments were to make sure I got it in writing how long I would be required to stay in the position, what expenses are to be covered off, how often could I come back to Canada on the company's dime, and how this impacts my options since I'd probably be transferred to our European holding company that isn't publicly traded, maybe I'd just be intercompany invoiced from my current company to our Gmbh entity.
So now I've been doing some research on rental costs and how to get around Frankfurt since I won't have a car while I'm there. Scary and interesting rolled into one.
I'd say I'm about 75-25 for making the move depending on what I learn when I decide to formally open discussions with the BI Director and talk to my own Finance Director. I think I might get some pushback about leaving and some kind of counter offer made but that's not what I'm hoping for.
So today when I was in the office dealing with some provincial tax and bottle deposit issues that needed to be resolved before the new year started I was surprised to see a meeting request pop up in my email and calendar from none other than the BI Director, asking if I was available to sit down with her on Monday, January 6th and talk about some opportunities in her group that she's been told by several people I'd be a perfect fit to take on.
So much for Karla and Rene keeping things quiet while I considered my options lol
Now my next issue is when do I disclose my interest to my own VP and her direct boss, our Chief Accounting Officer, and group Sr. Vice President. I've had more dealing with him lately and think he's not going to be too thrilled that there's a possibility that not only do they need to find that 2nd BA but now they need to really find another me.
One funny thing is that I was on a conference call about that tax issue when I was asked to stay on the line when the call wrapped up by Corey, one of the two BA's I replaced when they moved over to the SAP Implementation team. He commented that we hadn't spoken in quite a while and that Mike, the other BA, had also mentioned how I never called them for help anymore, that it seemed like things were going good and he was really happy for me as he knew I sort of struggled grasping all the complexities of the whole manufacturing and retail aspect of our business. That made me feel good as it means I've sort of got this shit covered now, well at least until I actually pull the trigger and maybe move to the BI Group and Europe.
My name is Marcus and it's been an interesting few weeks, to say the least. These are my ongoing adventures in parenting, working, golfing, and dating. Maybe a move to another continent might just be the spark my love life needs :-)
Today's musical suggestion is "O'Fortuna" by The Spiritual Project. Love the drumbeat on this one and hope you do as well, lyrics make me think some kind of cataclysmic event is taking place.
Questions and comments are like air and water to me so don't hesitate to send them to me at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Sunday, December 29, 2019
The Last Sunday Of The Year
Sunday, December 29/19
So my goal for today was to get up early and hit the gym to ride the bike as part of my preventive physio on my left knee before coming home to watch the Green Bay @ Detroit game for 1 pm.
That was the plan but a somewhat severe case of food poisoning from last night saw me up most of the night and feeling a tad bit dehydrated today and put to rest my gym plans, working out the next morning after spending the night puking is never a great approach, so today was spent drinking a lot of liquids, having some oatmeal for breakfast, and soup for lunch. Now that almost 24 hours have passed my appetite is coming back and I'm wondering what solids I might be able to have for dinner.
Oddly enough, my son suffered the same fate but not to the same extent as he didn't eat as much of his meal we shared at a local restaurant, one we've been to numerous times without incident, and because this is likely just one of those one-off things I'm not naming the establishment as it's not fair to hurt the business with something like this.
The only good thing was that Green Bay somehow managed to pull its head out of its ass and win the game in the final seconds, securing a first-round bye and should Seattle manage to beat San Francisco later tonight, the Packers would have the home-field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs, and trust me when I say this, nobody outside of Green Bay wants to play a game at Lambeau Field in January lol
I did use the time spent recuperating on the couch to work on my 2020 budget so I can keep an eye on my expenses and maybe manage to take a trip somewhere in the fall or early next year, would only be made better if I can find someone of the opposite sex to go with......what? it could happen, couldn't it? say it could, please with no straw in my Pina Colada say it could lol
The upcoming week at work is going to be sort of strange as we work full day Monday, work a half-day on Tuesday since it is New Year's Eve, off on Wednesday for New Years Day, and back for full days on Thursday and Friday.
I'm a little ticked off with a coworker who scheduled a conference call for 12:45 pm on Tuesday knowing we are out of the office at noon, I mean just because you don't want to go home Dave doesn't mean the rest of us want to hang around and talk about system interfaces to facilitate direct vendor EFI payments, yes that is what the meeting is about and I'm sure it is going to be just as exciting in real life as it reads in that sentence.
Now it is true that I have no plans for New Year's Eve but I'd still prefer to leave at noon to start my non-existent plans right on time. Actually, my plans might be me being the designated driver for my son and a couple of his friends, if they can ever make a decision on what they are doing that is.
Last time I did something for New Year's Eve was in 2014 when I met some new people and had a rather enjoyable night filled with smiles, laughter, some excellent conversations, and a very nice kiss at the stroke of midnight.
My name is Marcus and I hope you had a better Saturday night and Sunday than I did, probably easier on your stomach than mine was on me.
Today's musical suggestion is by P.O.D in the form of "Youth Of The Nation". It had both my son and me guessing wrong on the artist when we heard it on the way home last night.
I can be reached at ooasm2018@gmail.com with any questions or comments about the blog or to even just talk if you need someone to vent with about things going on in your life.
So my goal for today was to get up early and hit the gym to ride the bike as part of my preventive physio on my left knee before coming home to watch the Green Bay @ Detroit game for 1 pm.
That was the plan but a somewhat severe case of food poisoning from last night saw me up most of the night and feeling a tad bit dehydrated today and put to rest my gym plans, working out the next morning after spending the night puking is never a great approach, so today was spent drinking a lot of liquids, having some oatmeal for breakfast, and soup for lunch. Now that almost 24 hours have passed my appetite is coming back and I'm wondering what solids I might be able to have for dinner.
Oddly enough, my son suffered the same fate but not to the same extent as he didn't eat as much of his meal we shared at a local restaurant, one we've been to numerous times without incident, and because this is likely just one of those one-off things I'm not naming the establishment as it's not fair to hurt the business with something like this.
The only good thing was that Green Bay somehow managed to pull its head out of its ass and win the game in the final seconds, securing a first-round bye and should Seattle manage to beat San Francisco later tonight, the Packers would have the home-field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs, and trust me when I say this, nobody outside of Green Bay wants to play a game at Lambeau Field in January lol
I did use the time spent recuperating on the couch to work on my 2020 budget so I can keep an eye on my expenses and maybe manage to take a trip somewhere in the fall or early next year, would only be made better if I can find someone of the opposite sex to go with......what? it could happen, couldn't it? say it could, please with no straw in my Pina Colada say it could lol
The upcoming week at work is going to be sort of strange as we work full day Monday, work a half-day on Tuesday since it is New Year's Eve, off on Wednesday for New Years Day, and back for full days on Thursday and Friday.
I'm a little ticked off with a coworker who scheduled a conference call for 12:45 pm on Tuesday knowing we are out of the office at noon, I mean just because you don't want to go home Dave doesn't mean the rest of us want to hang around and talk about system interfaces to facilitate direct vendor EFI payments, yes that is what the meeting is about and I'm sure it is going to be just as exciting in real life as it reads in that sentence.
Now it is true that I have no plans for New Year's Eve but I'd still prefer to leave at noon to start my non-existent plans right on time. Actually, my plans might be me being the designated driver for my son and a couple of his friends, if they can ever make a decision on what they are doing that is.
Last time I did something for New Year's Eve was in 2014 when I met some new people and had a rather enjoyable night filled with smiles, laughter, some excellent conversations, and a very nice kiss at the stroke of midnight.
My name is Marcus and I hope you had a better Saturday night and Sunday than I did, probably easier on your stomach than mine was on me.
Today's musical suggestion is by P.O.D in the form of "Youth Of The Nation". It had both my son and me guessing wrong on the artist when we heard it on the way home last night.
I can be reached at ooasm2018@gmail.com with any questions or comments about the blog or to even just talk if you need someone to vent with about things going on in your life.
Saturday, December 28, 2019
Observations of a Single Man 2020
Saturday, December 28/19
As this year slowly winds down and we begin to head into the new year I've been giving a lot of thought to the blog, where it's come from, what it means, and maybe most importantly, where I see it going in the future.
I started the blog has a way to express myself and the feelings I had about things happening around me as I navigated the waters of being a parent, re-entering the dating world, and really being on my own for the first time in my life.
I've commented numerous times that writing the blog is a lot like sitting through therapy but a hell of a lot easier on my bank account. While that is true in a lot of ways, I've also commented on my use of real therapy when I find myself in need of an emotional tune-up, so to speak, and have always taken the position that talking to someone about the things impacting myself is never going to be considered a sign of weakness by my inner self. We all need help at one time or another and if seeking it out makes me a better parent, friend, and maybe even a partner, than I'm always going to be all in 100%.
The television show One Tree Hill is really where the blog gets its roots. At the end of almost every episode, the primary character Lucas Scott is seen writing in a journal and more often than not quotes some literary figure or philosopher, so much that I used to use quotes before switching to movies that I found interesting before finally settling on my musical suggestions.
The blog actually started on a dating site on which I had a profile, a site that led me to meet some nice women and more than a few not so nice women, probably the same results most women experience but with more not so nice male encounters than nice encounters, face it, most men are trolls at the best of times and letting some of these wonderful creatures sit behind a screen without any consequences for the words they write is like giving Donald Trump access to a social media account, sure to generate some laughs at the downright asinine things they are both going to write but also fucking scary as hell when you realize they actually believe the shit they are spewing, and even worse when you know there are people out there eating it up as the truth.
But I'm not here to preach about the Donald or our very own version here in Canada called the Justin.
The blog started from a good spot, as a lot of things do in the beginning, and slowly morphed into something else. What that something else is is open to debate by people far smarter than this guy.
Over the years I like to think I've touched on topics that were both current and relevant. Again, probably best for someone else to say or confirm that but it's my blog so forgive me if I take a little liberty now and then.
I'm happy with the blog, well for the most part.
I'm happy that I get this price friendly form of therapy.
I'm more often happier than not with the responses I've received from postings, yes, I'm talking to you Maria from Seattle lol
But what I've become unhappy about is the frequency of my posts.
There are times I post daily and then there are those periods where I don't post anything for weeks on end, without any rhyme or reason for either outcome.
Except I do think there is a reason for the lack of posts over the last year or so.
I was trying to hit a home run with every single blog entry I wrote. Trying to nail it each time I put my thoughts down to share with you, trying to move the purpose away from sharing what I observed in my daily life to talking about critical events taking place around the world.
Now that isn't to say that some of those entries shouldn't have been written in my attempts to please the masses, no, the entries about gun violence, terrorist attacks, and mental health should and would have been shared regardless of where I was moving the blog, but I can do better about losing the true path I started out on when I began this little blog 10+ years ago, including that dating site in my chronology.
My goal in 2020 will be to find my way back to where things were in the beginning.
More observational posts about things that make me stop and say to myself Huh?
Of course, I'll never shy away from the big topics that might cause some controversy as that just wouldn't be who I am, and yes, that doesn't make sense given I refuse to divulge who I really am to my readers but we all have our reasons for wanting to stay anonymous, and I have mine.
So as we end this year and move into the, rest assured that while I may have gotten lost for a bit there on the way, that unlike a lot of people, I did stop to get directions and update my GPS so hopefully I stay on course.
I promise to not hold back anymore, to really share my thoughts and feeling, no matter how raw or exposed they leave me.
My name is Marcus and I a lot of things: parent, grandparent, co-worker, friend, and single looking to meet the one woman who is perfectly imperfect for me, the one who is willing to grant me my last first kiss.
Questions and comments can be sent to ooasm2018@gmail.com and odds are pretty good that I'll either reply back directly or through a blog entry if I think the message is relevant.
Today's musical suggestion is "If The World Was Ending" by JP Saxe featuring Julia Michaels. When I heard the song on the radio while driving to work last week my thoughts instantly turned to one person, Corrine and what was and what could have been.......................
As this year slowly winds down and we begin to head into the new year I've been giving a lot of thought to the blog, where it's come from, what it means, and maybe most importantly, where I see it going in the future.
I started the blog has a way to express myself and the feelings I had about things happening around me as I navigated the waters of being a parent, re-entering the dating world, and really being on my own for the first time in my life.
I've commented numerous times that writing the blog is a lot like sitting through therapy but a hell of a lot easier on my bank account. While that is true in a lot of ways, I've also commented on my use of real therapy when I find myself in need of an emotional tune-up, so to speak, and have always taken the position that talking to someone about the things impacting myself is never going to be considered a sign of weakness by my inner self. We all need help at one time or another and if seeking it out makes me a better parent, friend, and maybe even a partner, than I'm always going to be all in 100%.
The television show One Tree Hill is really where the blog gets its roots. At the end of almost every episode, the primary character Lucas Scott is seen writing in a journal and more often than not quotes some literary figure or philosopher, so much that I used to use quotes before switching to movies that I found interesting before finally settling on my musical suggestions.
The blog actually started on a dating site on which I had a profile, a site that led me to meet some nice women and more than a few not so nice women, probably the same results most women experience but with more not so nice male encounters than nice encounters, face it, most men are trolls at the best of times and letting some of these wonderful creatures sit behind a screen without any consequences for the words they write is like giving Donald Trump access to a social media account, sure to generate some laughs at the downright asinine things they are both going to write but also fucking scary as hell when you realize they actually believe the shit they are spewing, and even worse when you know there are people out there eating it up as the truth.
But I'm not here to preach about the Donald or our very own version here in Canada called the Justin.
The blog started from a good spot, as a lot of things do in the beginning, and slowly morphed into something else. What that something else is is open to debate by people far smarter than this guy.
Over the years I like to think I've touched on topics that were both current and relevant. Again, probably best for someone else to say or confirm that but it's my blog so forgive me if I take a little liberty now and then.
I'm happy with the blog, well for the most part.
I'm happy that I get this price friendly form of therapy.
I'm more often happier than not with the responses I've received from postings, yes, I'm talking to you Maria from Seattle lol
But what I've become unhappy about is the frequency of my posts.
There are times I post daily and then there are those periods where I don't post anything for weeks on end, without any rhyme or reason for either outcome.
Except I do think there is a reason for the lack of posts over the last year or so.
I was trying to hit a home run with every single blog entry I wrote. Trying to nail it each time I put my thoughts down to share with you, trying to move the purpose away from sharing what I observed in my daily life to talking about critical events taking place around the world.
Now that isn't to say that some of those entries shouldn't have been written in my attempts to please the masses, no, the entries about gun violence, terrorist attacks, and mental health should and would have been shared regardless of where I was moving the blog, but I can do better about losing the true path I started out on when I began this little blog 10+ years ago, including that dating site in my chronology.
My goal in 2020 will be to find my way back to where things were in the beginning.
More observational posts about things that make me stop and say to myself Huh?
Of course, I'll never shy away from the big topics that might cause some controversy as that just wouldn't be who I am, and yes, that doesn't make sense given I refuse to divulge who I really am to my readers but we all have our reasons for wanting to stay anonymous, and I have mine.
So as we end this year and move into the, rest assured that while I may have gotten lost for a bit there on the way, that unlike a lot of people, I did stop to get directions and update my GPS so hopefully I stay on course.
I promise to not hold back anymore, to really share my thoughts and feeling, no matter how raw or exposed they leave me.
My name is Marcus and I a lot of things: parent, grandparent, co-worker, friend, and single looking to meet the one woman who is perfectly imperfect for me, the one who is willing to grant me my last first kiss.
Questions and comments can be sent to ooasm2018@gmail.com and odds are pretty good that I'll either reply back directly or through a blog entry if I think the message is relevant.
Today's musical suggestion is "If The World Was Ending" by JP Saxe featuring Julia Michaels. When I heard the song on the radio while driving to work last week my thoughts instantly turned to one person, Corrine and what was and what could have been.......................
Tuesday, December 24, 2019
Merry Christmas & Happy Holiday's
Tuesday, December 24/19
So we've reached Christmas Eve and I'd like to take this moment to wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas and the Happiest of Holidays.
I hope the new year brings you peace, health, happiness, and love.
While I am nothing more than an ordinary man leading an ordinary life, I am not without my own heart and thus hope each of us can carry forward the holiday spirit so much in evidence all around us into the new year, wanting nothing more than the best for my family and yours.
Tomorrow I will celebrate with my family the birth of Jesus Christ as well as my own mother's birthdate, knowing in my heart that she is looking out for her family and hopefully smiling at the man I've become and gazing with love upon her grandchildren and her great grandson.
My name is Marcus and my eyes are wide open and my heart filled with joy and love for the world around me.
Merry Christmas to all!
So we've reached Christmas Eve and I'd like to take this moment to wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas and the Happiest of Holidays.
I hope the new year brings you peace, health, happiness, and love.
While I am nothing more than an ordinary man leading an ordinary life, I am not without my own heart and thus hope each of us can carry forward the holiday spirit so much in evidence all around us into the new year, wanting nothing more than the best for my family and yours.
Tomorrow I will celebrate with my family the birth of Jesus Christ as well as my own mother's birthdate, knowing in my heart that she is looking out for her family and hopefully smiling at the man I've become and gazing with love upon her grandchildren and her great grandson.
My name is Marcus and my eyes are wide open and my heart filled with joy and love for the world around me.
Merry Christmas to all!
Sunday, December 22, 2019
Dad, What Do You Want For Christmas?
Saturday, December 21/19
"Dad, what do you want for Christmas?"
That was the question I was asked at brunch with my kids yesterday by my daughter.
It was just me with my son and daughter as my grandson was doing a craft with his father for something he wanted to give his mom, I'm thinking along the lines of a picture but I could be wrong.
She had to get out of the house and stopped by her mom's place to get her brother and then called me to ask if I wanted to meet them for brunch at Milestones. Of course, that was a no brainer as I'll never turn down a chance to break bread with my children.
We ended up sitting at a nice four-top in the bar and were having a great conversation about pretty much everything, with my son sharing his shopping adventures at Bayshore on Friday with his girlfriend and my daughter telling us about how Jack has been following her around and pointing at her belly and saying his soon to be sisters name Solara and smiling. Both of these had me smiling and laughing.
As we were finishing our meal my daughter looked at me and asked me "Dad, what do you want for Christmas?"
I didn't answer her right away and she got exasperated with me and said "I've asked you several times via text and you keep ignoring my question"
I pondered how to answer and took a sip of my iced tea while looking past her out the window to buy myself some time and sensed her getting frustrated with me, but before I could say anything to her my son looked first at me and then to his sister and sort of laughed.
This seemed to make his sister angry and she snapped at him "This is so fucking easy for you, you see Dad all the time and live with him half the time so you know what he likes and needs"
My son smiled at her, leaned over and gave her a hug, which she tried to shrug out of, and said something that made me realize he pays far more attention to me than I ever imagined, understands me better than I ever gave him credit for all these years.
"Dad can't tell you what he wants for Christmas as neither of us is in a position to get it for him"
I looked at him wondering what he meant and his sister continued giving him a dirty look before she responded "Okay smartass, what can't we give him if we pooled our resources?"
My son looked at me as he answered his older sister, there are ten years between them with my daughter at 30 and my son at 20.
"What does dad not have? He's got every imaginable electronic device he needs, his perfect set of golf clubs, books, music, clothes, he's only missing one thing"
My daughter thought for a moment and looked at me and said in a whisper "A dog?)
I smiled and shook my head as my soon leaned closer to her and softly said "It's far too soon for dad to even think about another dog"
My son looked back at me as he said the following.......
"Dad wants a partner, someone to share his life with, someone to take trips with, someone who'll send him silly texts out of the blue, he wants to be loved and to love"
My daughter looked from him to me and back to her brother and asked him how did he know that was what I wanted for Christmas?
He smiled at her and said "It's what he's wanted for years and though he's good at hiding it, all you have to do is watch him when he sees a couple and it shows in his eyes as they get this brief look of sadness even as he smiles"
My daughter reached over and took my hand in hers and smiled at me as she said "I love you daddy, you are so going to find someone so don't you dare doubt it"
One of my kids seems to know me better than I thought and means I've got to get better at masking my emotions around him, the other one is now going to be after me to get out there and open myself to the possibilities, more than likely to call me more often and see what I'm doing, hoping it encourages me to go on more dates.
Honestly, I think I'd have preferred an iTunes gift card over my son expressing his observations out loud to his sister. Life is about to get very complicated thanks to my youngest.
My name is Marcus and I've been good this year so I should be on Santa's nice list. Wonder what he might leave in my stocking on Christmas Eve?
Today's musical suggestion is seasonally appropriate as it comes from Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker Ballet in the form of YouTube video for the "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy".
The link is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zV1qLYukTH8
I had the good fortune to see the Alberta Royal Ballet perform this ballet many years ago and loved every moment.
Comments and questions are always welcome, ooasm2018@gmail.com
"Dad, what do you want for Christmas?"
That was the question I was asked at brunch with my kids yesterday by my daughter.
It was just me with my son and daughter as my grandson was doing a craft with his father for something he wanted to give his mom, I'm thinking along the lines of a picture but I could be wrong.
She had to get out of the house and stopped by her mom's place to get her brother and then called me to ask if I wanted to meet them for brunch at Milestones. Of course, that was a no brainer as I'll never turn down a chance to break bread with my children.
We ended up sitting at a nice four-top in the bar and were having a great conversation about pretty much everything, with my son sharing his shopping adventures at Bayshore on Friday with his girlfriend and my daughter telling us about how Jack has been following her around and pointing at her belly and saying his soon to be sisters name Solara and smiling. Both of these had me smiling and laughing.
As we were finishing our meal my daughter looked at me and asked me "Dad, what do you want for Christmas?"
I didn't answer her right away and she got exasperated with me and said "I've asked you several times via text and you keep ignoring my question"
I pondered how to answer and took a sip of my iced tea while looking past her out the window to buy myself some time and sensed her getting frustrated with me, but before I could say anything to her my son looked first at me and then to his sister and sort of laughed.
This seemed to make his sister angry and she snapped at him "This is so fucking easy for you, you see Dad all the time and live with him half the time so you know what he likes and needs"
My son smiled at her, leaned over and gave her a hug, which she tried to shrug out of, and said something that made me realize he pays far more attention to me than I ever imagined, understands me better than I ever gave him credit for all these years.
"Dad can't tell you what he wants for Christmas as neither of us is in a position to get it for him"
I looked at him wondering what he meant and his sister continued giving him a dirty look before she responded "Okay smartass, what can't we give him if we pooled our resources?"
My son looked at me as he answered his older sister, there are ten years between them with my daughter at 30 and my son at 20.
"What does dad not have? He's got every imaginable electronic device he needs, his perfect set of golf clubs, books, music, clothes, he's only missing one thing"
My daughter thought for a moment and looked at me and said in a whisper "A dog?)
I smiled and shook my head as my soon leaned closer to her and softly said "It's far too soon for dad to even think about another dog"
My son looked back at me as he said the following.......
"Dad wants a partner, someone to share his life with, someone to take trips with, someone who'll send him silly texts out of the blue, he wants to be loved and to love"
My daughter looked from him to me and back to her brother and asked him how did he know that was what I wanted for Christmas?
He smiled at her and said "It's what he's wanted for years and though he's good at hiding it, all you have to do is watch him when he sees a couple and it shows in his eyes as they get this brief look of sadness even as he smiles"
My daughter reached over and took my hand in hers and smiled at me as she said "I love you daddy, you are so going to find someone so don't you dare doubt it"
One of my kids seems to know me better than I thought and means I've got to get better at masking my emotions around him, the other one is now going to be after me to get out there and open myself to the possibilities, more than likely to call me more often and see what I'm doing, hoping it encourages me to go on more dates.
Honestly, I think I'd have preferred an iTunes gift card over my son expressing his observations out loud to his sister. Life is about to get very complicated thanks to my youngest.
My name is Marcus and I've been good this year so I should be on Santa's nice list. Wonder what he might leave in my stocking on Christmas Eve?
Today's musical suggestion is seasonally appropriate as it comes from Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker Ballet in the form of YouTube video for the "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy".
The link is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zV1qLYukTH8
I had the good fortune to see the Alberta Royal Ballet perform this ballet many years ago and loved every moment.
Comments and questions are always welcome, ooasm2018@gmail.com
Saturday, December 21, 2019
T'was a Fine Party
Saturday, December 21/19
So last night was the company Christmas party, the one I had debated attending.
I received several messages from people who had read the entry where I expressed having some second thoughts about going to the company telling me I really should go and coupled with more than one coworker telling me the same thing did end up going last night.
My company has three locations in Ottawa and probably employes about 3200 people in the region and maybe 4100 worldwide with the number growing monthly through the combination of internal growth and acquisitions.
Of those 3200, I'd say approximately 2500 ended up going to the party!!!
I'm not going to go into too many details about the party other than to say it was just as loud and crowded as I feared but all in all T'was a Fine Party in the end.
I shared drinks with coworkers from my own office, met some from our main production site that I'd only communicated with through conference calls and Google hangouts, and managed to be seen by more senior executives than I'd normally be comfortable with.
That's it, that's all.
Thanks for the encouragement and words of support think that was what ended up being the deciding factor in the end.
My name is Marcus and as Yoda would likely say about me......wide open heart for love he does have
So last night was the company Christmas party, the one I had debated attending.
I received several messages from people who had read the entry where I expressed having some second thoughts about going to the company telling me I really should go and coupled with more than one coworker telling me the same thing did end up going last night.
My company has three locations in Ottawa and probably employes about 3200 people in the region and maybe 4100 worldwide with the number growing monthly through the combination of internal growth and acquisitions.
Of those 3200, I'd say approximately 2500 ended up going to the party!!!
I'm not going to go into too many details about the party other than to say it was just as loud and crowded as I feared but all in all T'was a Fine Party in the end.
I shared drinks with coworkers from my own office, met some from our main production site that I'd only communicated with through conference calls and Google hangouts, and managed to be seen by more senior executives than I'd normally be comfortable with.
That's it, that's all.
Thanks for the encouragement and words of support think that was what ended up being the deciding factor in the end.
My name is Marcus and as Yoda would likely say about me......wide open heart for love he does have
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
Having Some Second Thoughts
Tuesday, December 17/19
So about 3 weeks ago my company announced the details around the Christmas Party and requested employees RSVP as soon as possible whether or not you were going and if it was you and a plus one or just you.
I kind of got ahead of myself and let my inner optimist take over when I responded by putting myself down with a plus one.
Now I am three nights away from what I'm hearing is going to be a pretty damn good party and I'm no closer to having a plus one than I was three months ago.
From the sounds of things a lot of people are going as part of a couple and about a third are going single and ready to mingle lol
A few coworkers have asked me if I'm going and I've said maybe.
I was pretty pumped to go in the beginning but now the thought of going alone is kind of sad and makes me feel like I'm going to bail at the last minute, par the course for me I guess.
Going will either be a blast or totally leave me curled up in the fetal position asking myself just what the hell I was thinking when I signed up to attend.
The last Christmas party I attended was 2014 and I did have a great time, far better than I expected, and I was there with a plus one, so that made all the difference in the world, even though we'd only been dating a short while, asking her to go with me turned out to be one of my best throw of the dice ever :)
So what do you the fine readers think I should do?
Option A - attend the party
Option B - finish my Christmas shopping at Bayshore
My name is Marcus and I don't often leave decisions about my life in the readers hands but when I do I tend to go big :-)
Cast your vote at ooasm2018@gmail.com
So about 3 weeks ago my company announced the details around the Christmas Party and requested employees RSVP as soon as possible whether or not you were going and if it was you and a plus one or just you.
I kind of got ahead of myself and let my inner optimist take over when I responded by putting myself down with a plus one.
Now I am three nights away from what I'm hearing is going to be a pretty damn good party and I'm no closer to having a plus one than I was three months ago.
From the sounds of things a lot of people are going as part of a couple and about a third are going single and ready to mingle lol
A few coworkers have asked me if I'm going and I've said maybe.
I was pretty pumped to go in the beginning but now the thought of going alone is kind of sad and makes me feel like I'm going to bail at the last minute, par the course for me I guess.
Going will either be a blast or totally leave me curled up in the fetal position asking myself just what the hell I was thinking when I signed up to attend.
The last Christmas party I attended was 2014 and I did have a great time, far better than I expected, and I was there with a plus one, so that made all the difference in the world, even though we'd only been dating a short while, asking her to go with me turned out to be one of my best throw of the dice ever :)
So what do you the fine readers think I should do?
Option A - attend the party
Option B - finish my Christmas shopping at Bayshore
My name is Marcus and I don't often leave decisions about my life in the readers hands but when I do I tend to go big :-)
Cast your vote at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Thursday, December 12, 2019
Some Random One Off's
Thursday, December 12/19
Today and yesterday were those kinds of days where I'm reminded of the saying "Be careful what you wish for as you just might get it"
What do I mean by that? My last job didn't really push me at all and I found myself extremely bored most days.
The new job has been a constant whirl of activity and forces me to stay on top of a multitude of things. I think the total combined time I was actually at my workstation over the past 2 days is maybe 2.5 hours max, and I'd say about 1.25 of those were only because I had to sit somewhere to dial into a conference call or three lol
I've fallen a little behind on my Christmas shopping but hope to finish things off this weekend.
I'm going to lunch with my son on Saturday at a local craft brewery for a pint and sandwich before heading down to watch my amazing grandson for the night while his parents go out for dinner with some friends.
All that to say I've not had a chance to really post a new blog entry, though there is one percolating around my mostly empty cranium centered around how we act differently this time of year.
In the meantime please enjoy some random things I've either pondered or come across.......
People are excited about the new iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology of using your turn signal when driving
Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store
It's a shame children these days don't know their cousins! When I was younger my cousins were the closest thing to a sibling
The trick is to not let people know how weird you really are until it's too late for them to back out
Life is difficult, more so for stupid people
I can only please one person a day. Today isn't your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.
I'm sorry did I roll my eyes out loud?
Never say "Oops." Always say "Ahh, interesting"
If "Plan A" didn't work, remember the alphabet has 25 more letters!. Stay cool.
My name is Marcus and I never make lemonade when life hands me lemons.
Today's musical suggestion is "Lola/Joseph" by July Talk. The male lead singer of this group has a very raspy voice but man does it ever work for them!!
ooasm2018@gmail is the place to hit the blogger up for questions, comments, and general chats
Today and yesterday were those kinds of days where I'm reminded of the saying "Be careful what you wish for as you just might get it"
What do I mean by that? My last job didn't really push me at all and I found myself extremely bored most days.
The new job has been a constant whirl of activity and forces me to stay on top of a multitude of things. I think the total combined time I was actually at my workstation over the past 2 days is maybe 2.5 hours max, and I'd say about 1.25 of those were only because I had to sit somewhere to dial into a conference call or three lol
I've fallen a little behind on my Christmas shopping but hope to finish things off this weekend.
I'm going to lunch with my son on Saturday at a local craft brewery for a pint and sandwich before heading down to watch my amazing grandson for the night while his parents go out for dinner with some friends.
All that to say I've not had a chance to really post a new blog entry, though there is one percolating around my mostly empty cranium centered around how we act differently this time of year.
In the meantime please enjoy some random things I've either pondered or come across.......
People are excited about the new iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology of using your turn signal when driving
Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store
It's a shame children these days don't know their cousins! When I was younger my cousins were the closest thing to a sibling
The trick is to not let people know how weird you really are until it's too late for them to back out
Life is difficult, more so for stupid people
I can only please one person a day. Today isn't your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.
I'm sorry did I roll my eyes out loud?
Never say "Oops." Always say "Ahh, interesting"
If "Plan A" didn't work, remember the alphabet has 25 more letters!. Stay cool.
My name is Marcus and I never make lemonade when life hands me lemons.
Today's musical suggestion is "Lola/Joseph" by July Talk. The male lead singer of this group has a very raspy voice but man does it ever work for them!!
ooasm2018@gmail is the place to hit the blogger up for questions, comments, and general chats
Saturday, December 7, 2019
Friday Afternoon Funk
Saturday, December 07/19
Normally I look forward to my weekends, even if I've got nothing planned, but for some reason, I felt myself in a funk yesterday around lunchtime and as the day progressed I felt my mood getting worse and worse.
A typical Friday with my son finds me trying to determine his plans so I can figure out dinner but a single Friday, what I refer to when he starts his week with his mother, sort of can vary from doing some errands, meeting for a drink, to just crashing on the couch with a book or binging something on either Netflix or Amazon Prime.
Last night my original plan was to head to Bayshore and do some Christmas shopping and with my mood getting me down I almost cancelled and headed home but for some reason that didn't sit well with me and I went ahead and did some shopping. I got lucky and found a nice sweater and a couple of shirts for my son before hitting Sugar Mountain for a couple of 100 Grand bars, dads deserve a treat too, don't we?
Once done I did head home and felt that uneasy feeling begin all over again as I drove down Richmond Road into Kanata.
As I unlocked my door it hit me what was going on with my mood.
The deafening silence in my house.
I am used to coming home and hearing the radio on in the kitchen and seeing Moki either standing near the door with her little tail wagging with happiness to see me again or sitting on the back of the couch looking at me as if to say "Where've you been?"
I used to joke that I didn't mind being single and alone but the real truth was that I was only really single as Moki was with me and so I was not alone.
Now I am both single and alone and it honestly absolutely fucking sucks!!!
You never know how much a pet really integrates its way into your life until you have to face time alone, constantly remembering little things about how they made you smile without any effort. For me just writing this blog entry is a reminder of her, as when I wrote older entries she'd lay in the doorway of my home office and wag her tail or every now and then walk over and bump my leg with her head to remind me to give her some attention.
I'd like to say the days are getting easier but I'd be lying, well partially lying as there are some days way better than others. The holidays are sort of tough as I liked to give the kids a gift from her and this year that isn't happening, something I'm still trying to wrap my head around.
Knowing what has been causing this mental funk would lead one to think I can find ways to counter it but I'm not sure I'm quite there yet.
My name is Marcus and these are my observations on trying to be a good parent, friend, coworker, and maybe even someday partner to one who might not mind my imperfections.
I wasn't going to post a musical suggestion as I didn't think anything would come to mind given my mood and tone of the blog but in the end, one did come to mind, and while not one I'd normally suggest, I think the title says it all.....I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor. It isn't so much about the lyrics as they don't apply here at all but more the fact that I will survive.......
Want to comment on a blog? Ask a question? Share a story? send me a message at ooasm2018@gmail.com and I'll make sure to respond, Scouts Honor!!
Normally I look forward to my weekends, even if I've got nothing planned, but for some reason, I felt myself in a funk yesterday around lunchtime and as the day progressed I felt my mood getting worse and worse.
A typical Friday with my son finds me trying to determine his plans so I can figure out dinner but a single Friday, what I refer to when he starts his week with his mother, sort of can vary from doing some errands, meeting for a drink, to just crashing on the couch with a book or binging something on either Netflix or Amazon Prime.
Last night my original plan was to head to Bayshore and do some Christmas shopping and with my mood getting me down I almost cancelled and headed home but for some reason that didn't sit well with me and I went ahead and did some shopping. I got lucky and found a nice sweater and a couple of shirts for my son before hitting Sugar Mountain for a couple of 100 Grand bars, dads deserve a treat too, don't we?
Once done I did head home and felt that uneasy feeling begin all over again as I drove down Richmond Road into Kanata.
As I unlocked my door it hit me what was going on with my mood.
The deafening silence in my house.
I am used to coming home and hearing the radio on in the kitchen and seeing Moki either standing near the door with her little tail wagging with happiness to see me again or sitting on the back of the couch looking at me as if to say "Where've you been?"
I used to joke that I didn't mind being single and alone but the real truth was that I was only really single as Moki was with me and so I was not alone.
Now I am both single and alone and it honestly absolutely fucking sucks!!!
You never know how much a pet really integrates its way into your life until you have to face time alone, constantly remembering little things about how they made you smile without any effort. For me just writing this blog entry is a reminder of her, as when I wrote older entries she'd lay in the doorway of my home office and wag her tail or every now and then walk over and bump my leg with her head to remind me to give her some attention.
I'd like to say the days are getting easier but I'd be lying, well partially lying as there are some days way better than others. The holidays are sort of tough as I liked to give the kids a gift from her and this year that isn't happening, something I'm still trying to wrap my head around.
Knowing what has been causing this mental funk would lead one to think I can find ways to counter it but I'm not sure I'm quite there yet.
My name is Marcus and these are my observations on trying to be a good parent, friend, coworker, and maybe even someday partner to one who might not mind my imperfections.
I wasn't going to post a musical suggestion as I didn't think anything would come to mind given my mood and tone of the blog but in the end, one did come to mind, and while not one I'd normally suggest, I think the title says it all.....I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor. It isn't so much about the lyrics as they don't apply here at all but more the fact that I will survive.......
Want to comment on a blog? Ask a question? Share a story? send me a message at ooasm2018@gmail.com and I'll make sure to respond, Scouts Honor!!
Wednesday, December 4, 2019
I've Got Them, Do You?
Wednesday, December 04/19
So this morning while I was getting dressed for work I did something that caused me to stop and think about my action.
I didn't do anything bad, didn't have a horrible thought, didn't really do anything that should get me banned from saying WalMart, but it still made me stop, think, chuckle, and smile.
So what exactly did I do?
I put my socks on.
Okay, maybe that's not all of the story, but it is a good hook don't you agree?
It did start with me putting my socks on. Something I do almost every morning before I leave the house unless of course it's the summer and I'm heading out to play some golf. In that case, it's my Nike sandals for a quick change at the course :)
But it also started with me pulling my socks off as well.
I bet you are wondering if I noticed a hole in one of them? Nope, perfectly good pair of socks, actually Tommy Hilfiger if I'm being honest.
Were they not matched? Seriously, do you really think a guy as put together as moi would ever wear mismatched socks? They matched, didn't I already mention they were Tommy Hilfiger.
Did they not go with my planned outfit? I was going to be putting on a pair of Levu jeans in a moment so that couldn't have been what made me stop putting on my socks.
I can sense you gnashing your teeth in frustration and reaching to throw something across the room so I'm going to put you out of your misery and explain. Happy now?
I noticed that I was putting on my left sock first and froze in mid pull. I looked around my room as if someone might have seen me, smiled at myself, and pulled it off and proceeded to put my right sock on first and then the left.
Once my socks were on I realized that this wasn't the first time I've done this, start to put the left on first and stop to pull it off before actually putting the right on first.
This is one of just several little quirks, peccadillos, or idiosyncrasies I appear to have developed over the years.
One that drives my son nuts is turning on the car alarm exactly 3 times so it beeps. To let you in on a little secret I just do that when he's around as I like seeing him shake his head at me lol
Some others I have are always sitting on the left end of the couch when I get home from work for a minute or two before shifting ends, sleeping on the left side of the bed (left as defined if you were standing at the bottom of the bed looking towards the headboard), always cutting the lawn from side to side and then front to back, and here is one from golf, I always carry exactly 5 tees in my right pocket, if one break's I replace it right away.
I'm sure I have more but those come to mind right off the bat.
Nothing earth-shattering but I did find it amusing when the whole sock thing came about.
So give it a thought and see what are some of the things you do that done out of order would make you feel slightly uncomfortable? I'd love to know and get some reassurance that I'm not totally alone with these little quirks :)
My name is Marcus and its the season to be merry, or so I've been told :-)
For today's musical suggestions we've traveled back over 45 years to bring you "Hold Your Head Up" by Argent. I totally forgot all about this one until it was playing as some background music on a YouTube video I happened to watch yesterday. You are welcome :-)
The fool behind this blog can be reached at ooasm2018@gmail.com
So this morning while I was getting dressed for work I did something that caused me to stop and think about my action.
I didn't do anything bad, didn't have a horrible thought, didn't really do anything that should get me banned from saying WalMart, but it still made me stop, think, chuckle, and smile.
So what exactly did I do?
I put my socks on.
Okay, maybe that's not all of the story, but it is a good hook don't you agree?
It did start with me putting my socks on. Something I do almost every morning before I leave the house unless of course it's the summer and I'm heading out to play some golf. In that case, it's my Nike sandals for a quick change at the course :)
But it also started with me pulling my socks off as well.
I bet you are wondering if I noticed a hole in one of them? Nope, perfectly good pair of socks, actually Tommy Hilfiger if I'm being honest.
Were they not matched? Seriously, do you really think a guy as put together as moi would ever wear mismatched socks? They matched, didn't I already mention they were Tommy Hilfiger.
Did they not go with my planned outfit? I was going to be putting on a pair of Levu jeans in a moment so that couldn't have been what made me stop putting on my socks.
I can sense you gnashing your teeth in frustration and reaching to throw something across the room so I'm going to put you out of your misery and explain. Happy now?
I noticed that I was putting on my left sock first and froze in mid pull. I looked around my room as if someone might have seen me, smiled at myself, and pulled it off and proceeded to put my right sock on first and then the left.
Once my socks were on I realized that this wasn't the first time I've done this, start to put the left on first and stop to pull it off before actually putting the right on first.
This is one of just several little quirks, peccadillos, or idiosyncrasies I appear to have developed over the years.
One that drives my son nuts is turning on the car alarm exactly 3 times so it beeps. To let you in on a little secret I just do that when he's around as I like seeing him shake his head at me lol
Some others I have are always sitting on the left end of the couch when I get home from work for a minute or two before shifting ends, sleeping on the left side of the bed (left as defined if you were standing at the bottom of the bed looking towards the headboard), always cutting the lawn from side to side and then front to back, and here is one from golf, I always carry exactly 5 tees in my right pocket, if one break's I replace it right away.
I'm sure I have more but those come to mind right off the bat.
Nothing earth-shattering but I did find it amusing when the whole sock thing came about.
So give it a thought and see what are some of the things you do that done out of order would make you feel slightly uncomfortable? I'd love to know and get some reassurance that I'm not totally alone with these little quirks :)
My name is Marcus and its the season to be merry, or so I've been told :-)
For today's musical suggestions we've traveled back over 45 years to bring you "Hold Your Head Up" by Argent. I totally forgot all about this one until it was playing as some background music on a YouTube video I happened to watch yesterday. You are welcome :-)
The fool behind this blog can be reached at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Monday, December 2, 2019
Saturday Was More Difficult Than I imagined It Would Be....
Monday, December 02/19
So Saturday was my grandson's third birthday party and my daughter arranged a petting zoo to come to the party and entertain the kids.
Now because my daughter has a yappy little Pomeranian named Benny and my son in law has a squat and uber strong French Bulldog named Tyson they asked me if they could bring the dogs to my place for the day so they wouldn't be too much trouble at the party, I really think it's because they were worried Tysommight eat all the zoo animals, I say that jokingly but there's probably some truth to that statement.
Benny is kind of snuggly and Tyson tries his best but I've never really warmed up to either of them, not sure why but it just the way it is with me and them.
I was working in my office when Benny wandered by the door on his way to check out my son's room and I caught him out of the corner of my eye and without even thinking said: "What are you up to Moki?"
I realized my words almost as soon as they crossed my lips and just wanted to cry as once more I was reminded of how much I miss my little pupper.
Both Tyson and Benny wandered around the house snuffing the floor and furniture and I didn't understand why until Tyson looked up at me as if to ask "where is that dog we used to visit here"
I never imagined that they would miss Moki but I honestly think they did and sort of picked up on my own wavering emotions as Benny hopped into my lap and curled up in a little ball while Tyson, never known to snuggle at tall, laid down next to me and put his head on my knee and just sat there with me looking out the front window.
I had to smile as they two wonderful puppers did all they could to calm my emotions and remind me that while Moki isn't here to snuggle with me, she's still around making sure I stay on an even keel, even if it means channeling through her former buddies.
Christmas decorating was tough yesterday as I was reminded that I wouldn't be giving out gifts to the kids this year from her nor trying to find her a special gift at Petsmart.
I was asked by a friend at work last week if I'm going to get another dog and I explained about my daughter trying to set me up with Jet and it being a bit too soon, but did admit that this spring might see me reconsidering my plans........
My name is Marcus and the grieving process continues for this old man.
These are the ongoing adventures of one single, white, older man's attempts at parenting, working, golfing, and on the odd time, dating.
I'm going with Angels & Airwaves "Kiss & Tell" for today's musical suggestion. Listen and tell me who they remind you of as they do have a sound that should make you think of another artist/group :)
I love reading questions and comments, well the nice ones at least lol, so hit me up at ooasm2018@gmail.com and make an old guy smile, I dare you!
So Saturday was my grandson's third birthday party and my daughter arranged a petting zoo to come to the party and entertain the kids.
Now because my daughter has a yappy little Pomeranian named Benny and my son in law has a squat and uber strong French Bulldog named Tyson they asked me if they could bring the dogs to my place for the day so they wouldn't be too much trouble at the party, I really think it's because they were worried Tysommight eat all the zoo animals, I say that jokingly but there's probably some truth to that statement.
Benny is kind of snuggly and Tyson tries his best but I've never really warmed up to either of them, not sure why but it just the way it is with me and them.
I was working in my office when Benny wandered by the door on his way to check out my son's room and I caught him out of the corner of my eye and without even thinking said: "What are you up to Moki?"
I realized my words almost as soon as they crossed my lips and just wanted to cry as once more I was reminded of how much I miss my little pupper.
Both Tyson and Benny wandered around the house snuffing the floor and furniture and I didn't understand why until Tyson looked up at me as if to ask "where is that dog we used to visit here"
I never imagined that they would miss Moki but I honestly think they did and sort of picked up on my own wavering emotions as Benny hopped into my lap and curled up in a little ball while Tyson, never known to snuggle at tall, laid down next to me and put his head on my knee and just sat there with me looking out the front window.
I had to smile as they two wonderful puppers did all they could to calm my emotions and remind me that while Moki isn't here to snuggle with me, she's still around making sure I stay on an even keel, even if it means channeling through her former buddies.
Christmas decorating was tough yesterday as I was reminded that I wouldn't be giving out gifts to the kids this year from her nor trying to find her a special gift at Petsmart.
I was asked by a friend at work last week if I'm going to get another dog and I explained about my daughter trying to set me up with Jet and it being a bit too soon, but did admit that this spring might see me reconsidering my plans........
My name is Marcus and the grieving process continues for this old man.
These are the ongoing adventures of one single, white, older man's attempts at parenting, working, golfing, and on the odd time, dating.
I'm going with Angels & Airwaves "Kiss & Tell" for today's musical suggestion. Listen and tell me who they remind you of as they do have a sound that should make you think of another artist/group :)
I love reading questions and comments, well the nice ones at least lol, so hit me up at ooasm2018@gmail.com and make an old guy smile, I dare you!
Sunday, December 1, 2019
Happy New Month :-)
Sunday, December 01/19
We have finally hit the home stretch for 2019 with the arrival of December this morning.
What would normally have been a lazy Sunday was anything but......
Winter tires installed on the car? Check
Some Christmas shopping completed? Check
Grocery shopping completed? Check
Christmas decorations pulled from storage? Check
Additional decorations purchased for the upstairs? Check
Christmas decorations put up? Check
Now there is a story behind those decorations being done today but I'm not in the right frame of mind to tell it right now without putting something down I might come to regret later.
It's funny how you go through life thinking one thing about how decisions are made and the equality of those decisions only to realize that they've favored the other party almost 9 out of 10 times and you get told to not be upset and live with it.
It might be a very interesting holiday season for me as I've decided to put myself first for the first time in, well maybe forever.....
Sometimes it takes getting fucked over to realize how much of a pushover you've been for years and grow a spine and say enough is enough.
If people don't like it, they don't need to talk to me or see me. Seems pretty straightforward to me.
Wish I was heading off on a holiday down south right after Christmas but maybe next year, one can hope.
So my new month started off with a bang and not the fun one either, but it is what it is.
Oh, and no text today from my unknown friend either so I've got that going for me too bot.
Here's hoping the new month gets better starting tomorrow, oh shit, tomorrow is a Monday and we all know how those tend to go........I'm so screwed now.....
My name is Marcus and these are my stories about parenting, working, golfing, and dating. Well, really 3 of those 4 and I'll let you figure out which they currently encompass :)
Today's musical suggestion is "Some Sing, Some Dance" by Michael Pagliaro. Now here is the shocker, he is a Francophone musician, just goes to prove my taste in music knows no bounds lol
We have finally hit the home stretch for 2019 with the arrival of December this morning.
What would normally have been a lazy Sunday was anything but......
Winter tires installed on the car? Check
Some Christmas shopping completed? Check
Grocery shopping completed? Check
Christmas decorations pulled from storage? Check
Additional decorations purchased for the upstairs? Check
Christmas decorations put up? Check
Now there is a story behind those decorations being done today but I'm not in the right frame of mind to tell it right now without putting something down I might come to regret later.
It's funny how you go through life thinking one thing about how decisions are made and the equality of those decisions only to realize that they've favored the other party almost 9 out of 10 times and you get told to not be upset and live with it.
It might be a very interesting holiday season for me as I've decided to put myself first for the first time in, well maybe forever.....
Sometimes it takes getting fucked over to realize how much of a pushover you've been for years and grow a spine and say enough is enough.
If people don't like it, they don't need to talk to me or see me. Seems pretty straightforward to me.
Wish I was heading off on a holiday down south right after Christmas but maybe next year, one can hope.
So my new month started off with a bang and not the fun one either, but it is what it is.
Oh, and no text today from my unknown friend either so I've got that going for me too bot.
Here's hoping the new month gets better starting tomorrow, oh shit, tomorrow is a Monday and we all know how those tend to go........I'm so screwed now.....
My name is Marcus and these are my stories about parenting, working, golfing, and dating. Well, really 3 of those 4 and I'll let you figure out which they currently encompass :)
Today's musical suggestion is "Some Sing, Some Dance" by Michael Pagliaro. Now here is the shocker, he is a Francophone musician, just goes to prove my taste in music knows no bounds lol
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)