Saturday, December 28/19
As this year slowly winds down and we begin to head into the new year I've been giving a lot of thought to the blog, where it's come from, what it means, and maybe most importantly, where I see it going in the future.
I started the blog has a way to express myself and the feelings I had about things happening around me as I navigated the waters of being a parent, re-entering the dating world, and really being on my own for the first time in my life.
I've commented numerous times that writing the blog is a lot like sitting through therapy but a hell of a lot easier on my bank account. While that is true in a lot of ways, I've also commented on my use of real therapy when I find myself in need of an emotional tune-up, so to speak, and have always taken the position that talking to someone about the things impacting myself is never going to be considered a sign of weakness by my inner self. We all need help at one time or another and if seeking it out makes me a better parent, friend, and maybe even a partner, than I'm always going to be all in 100%.
The television show One Tree Hill is really where the blog gets its roots. At the end of almost every episode, the primary character Lucas Scott is seen writing in a journal and more often than not quotes some literary figure or philosopher, so much that I used to use quotes before switching to movies that I found interesting before finally settling on my musical suggestions.
The blog actually started on a dating site on which I had a profile, a site that led me to meet some nice women and more than a few not so nice women, probably the same results most women experience but with more not so nice male encounters than nice encounters, face it, most men are trolls at the best of times and letting some of these wonderful creatures sit behind a screen without any consequences for the words they write is like giving Donald Trump access to a social media account, sure to generate some laughs at the downright asinine things they are both going to write but also fucking scary as hell when you realize they actually believe the shit they are spewing, and even worse when you know there are people out there eating it up as the truth.
But I'm not here to preach about the Donald or our very own version here in Canada called the Justin.
The blog started from a good spot, as a lot of things do in the beginning, and slowly morphed into something else. What that something else is is open to debate by people far smarter than this guy.
Over the years I like to think I've touched on topics that were both current and relevant. Again, probably best for someone else to say or confirm that but it's my blog so forgive me if I take a little liberty now and then.
I'm happy with the blog, well for the most part.
I'm happy that I get this price friendly form of therapy.
I'm more often happier than not with the responses I've received from postings, yes, I'm talking to you Maria from Seattle lol
But what I've become unhappy about is the frequency of my posts.
There are times I post daily and then there are those periods where I don't post anything for weeks on end, without any rhyme or reason for either outcome.
Except I do think there is a reason for the lack of posts over the last year or so.
I was trying to hit a home run with every single blog entry I wrote. Trying to nail it each time I put my thoughts down to share with you, trying to move the purpose away from sharing what I observed in my daily life to talking about critical events taking place around the world.
Now that isn't to say that some of those entries shouldn't have been written in my attempts to please the masses, no, the entries about gun violence, terrorist attacks, and mental health should and would have been shared regardless of where I was moving the blog, but I can do better about losing the true path I started out on when I began this little blog 10+ years ago, including that dating site in my chronology.
My goal in 2020 will be to find my way back to where things were in the beginning.
More observational posts about things that make me stop and say to myself Huh?
Of course, I'll never shy away from the big topics that might cause some controversy as that just wouldn't be who I am, and yes, that doesn't make sense given I refuse to divulge who I really am to my readers but we all have our reasons for wanting to stay anonymous, and I have mine.
So as we end this year and move into the, rest assured that while I may have gotten lost for a bit there on the way, that unlike a lot of people, I did stop to get directions and update my GPS so hopefully I stay on course.
I promise to not hold back anymore, to really share my thoughts and feeling, no matter how raw or exposed they leave me.
My name is Marcus and I a lot of things: parent, grandparent, co-worker, friend, and single looking to meet the one woman who is perfectly imperfect for me, the one who is willing to grant me my last first kiss.
Questions and comments can be sent to ooasm2018@gmail.com and odds are pretty good that I'll either reply back directly or through a blog entry if I think the message is relevant.
Today's musical suggestion is "If The World Was Ending" by JP Saxe featuring Julia Michaels. When I heard the song on the radio while driving to work last week my thoughts instantly turned to one person, Corrine and what was and what could have been.......................
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