Friday, December 21/18
Today unofficially marks the start of the winter holiday season for many people and I wanted to take this moment to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and hope you have a great New Years as well.
For those of you who don't celebrate Christmas as I do than let me just wish you happy holiday's as we all share something in common regardless of what we call our deity.
Love, happiness, compassion, empathy, and the desire to see those around us safe and sound would be at the top of any list a person might compile.
I'll spend my Christmas Eve attending midnight mass at St. Patrick's Church in Fallowfield, where I'll reflect on the events of the last year and those who are part of my circle of family and friends.
I imagine I'll think of the one and say a silent prayer in thanks for the time we shared and hope all is well with her own family.
I'll think of my grandson and all the joy that little boy has brought into my life and my determination to be there for many more Christmas's to come so I can relive those magical moments through his eyes, to watch him continue to develop the special bond he has with his uncle, and watch how my daughter dotes over him as I once did over her.
There are a lot of thoughts going through my head as we come to final days of 2018 and I'm sure a blog entry will becoming up to share some of them with all of you.
But for now let me just say this..........
Enjoy these moments with family and friends, try as best you can to embrace those around you with nothing more in your heart than love and forgiveness, let go of any anger, resentment, or jealousy you might have as they only act as a poison upon your soul.
Be free of that which makes you less than you deserve to be.....
I know that us easier sad than done sometimes but always remember that you do not walk this world alone for you are loved by someone around you, even if you don't or can't recognize it, for inside each of us resides the heart of a good person.
My name is Marcus and I want nothing more for Christmas than for each of you to be loved and thought of with warm thoughts.
Today's musical suggestion is a duet from an unlikely pair - The Little Drummer Boy by Bing Crosby and David Bowie. YouTube link is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9kfdEyV3RQ
Comments, questions or complaints can be sent my way via ooasm2018@gmail.com and I promise to reply to all emails.
Friday, December 21, 2018
Thursday, December 20, 2018
Ask for Angela!!!
Thursday, December 20/18
I came across an interesting story on my Facebook feed and thought I'd share it with you.
There is a system that has been slowly gaining ground in the United Kingdom, and making it way across the pond to Canada and the U.S., where if a woman feels threatened while on a date she can approach a member of a restaurant or pub and simply ask for Angela. This is code to let the employee know that the woman doesn't feel safe and they are to move her to a position of safety, whether it is via a bouncer or other wait staff, and call the authorities.
It's as simple as going up to the bartender and asking "Is Angela working tonight?"
I'm literally of two emotions about this system.
I'm happy that it is in place and from the sounds of things it has done a wonderful job of getting some women out of what could have been a dangerous situation.
On the other hand I'm more than disgusted that we need this system in the first place and wonder where we went wrong as a society that men could even think that acting this way towards women is even the least bit acceptable.
Some of the stories I've read around this make me wonder if my gender can really be that fucking dumb and clueless, guys getting mad at the woman for causing a scene after they'd been verbally or physically abusive, or if I'm just the one who is so stupid and clueless he can't see today's environment for the mine field is has become for women.
I remember having a conversation with my son a few years back when he started dating where I sat him down to have the talk and he sort of rolled his eyes at me as if I was a day late and a dollar short.
As I watched him roll his eyes I just looked him in the eye and said it wasn't that kind of talk. This talk was about how to treat a lady and if I ever heard one word that he'd been disrespectful than there would be hell to pay.
I remember him looking at me and telling me that if he ever acted that way he didn't fear facing the young ladies father nor his own mother as much as the last person he'd have to face. I was sort of confused and asked him who that was and he looked at me and said "You, as you've always tried to teach me how to be a man and if I did something so horrible as to upset my date than I don't think I'd ever be able to look you in the eyes again dad"
Pretty much knew at that point that if I never did anything else in my life to help mold him into a man than I'd already done enough with him feeling that way about being respectful and protective of any woman he was with.
I hope none of you are ever made to feel threatened or afraid for your safety but should you experience just such a moment I beg you to "Ask for Angela" and don't allow yourself to be treated as anything less than the wonderful person that you are. I say that not only as the father of a woman but as the father of a young man who has been raised to treat not only women but all others with respect and dignity.
My name is Marcus and we should all take any steps necessary to ensure the safety of those around us.
No musical suggestion with this blog entry as I don't think one would be appropriate given the topic.
Thoughts or comments can me directed my way at: ooasm2018@gmail.com
I came across an interesting story on my Facebook feed and thought I'd share it with you.
There is a system that has been slowly gaining ground in the United Kingdom, and making it way across the pond to Canada and the U.S., where if a woman feels threatened while on a date she can approach a member of a restaurant or pub and simply ask for Angela. This is code to let the employee know that the woman doesn't feel safe and they are to move her to a position of safety, whether it is via a bouncer or other wait staff, and call the authorities.
It's as simple as going up to the bartender and asking "Is Angela working tonight?"
I'm literally of two emotions about this system.
I'm happy that it is in place and from the sounds of things it has done a wonderful job of getting some women out of what could have been a dangerous situation.
On the other hand I'm more than disgusted that we need this system in the first place and wonder where we went wrong as a society that men could even think that acting this way towards women is even the least bit acceptable.
Some of the stories I've read around this make me wonder if my gender can really be that fucking dumb and clueless, guys getting mad at the woman for causing a scene after they'd been verbally or physically abusive, or if I'm just the one who is so stupid and clueless he can't see today's environment for the mine field is has become for women.
I remember having a conversation with my son a few years back when he started dating where I sat him down to have the talk and he sort of rolled his eyes at me as if I was a day late and a dollar short.
As I watched him roll his eyes I just looked him in the eye and said it wasn't that kind of talk. This talk was about how to treat a lady and if I ever heard one word that he'd been disrespectful than there would be hell to pay.
I remember him looking at me and telling me that if he ever acted that way he didn't fear facing the young ladies father nor his own mother as much as the last person he'd have to face. I was sort of confused and asked him who that was and he looked at me and said "You, as you've always tried to teach me how to be a man and if I did something so horrible as to upset my date than I don't think I'd ever be able to look you in the eyes again dad"
Pretty much knew at that point that if I never did anything else in my life to help mold him into a man than I'd already done enough with him feeling that way about being respectful and protective of any woman he was with.
I hope none of you are ever made to feel threatened or afraid for your safety but should you experience just such a moment I beg you to "Ask for Angela" and don't allow yourself to be treated as anything less than the wonderful person that you are. I say that not only as the father of a woman but as the father of a young man who has been raised to treat not only women but all others with respect and dignity.
My name is Marcus and we should all take any steps necessary to ensure the safety of those around us.
No musical suggestion with this blog entry as I don't think one would be appropriate given the topic.
Thoughts or comments can me directed my way at: ooasm2018@gmail.com
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
White or Red?
Tuesday, December 18/18
So I had my daughter and her family over for dinner tonight and my son-in-law asked if I had any wine in the house and I pointed in the direction of the fridge and to the corner of the dining room where there is a wine rack as well.
The fridge has a couple of bottles of Pinot Grigio chilling and there are a couple of red's in the wine rack. Now he loves a good red, one reason he gets along so well with his mother-in-law lol, but I'm more partial to a cold white any day of the week.
I think my preference comes from just my initial experiences with wine and how the first red I ever had was at room temperature and thus didn't do anything to quench my thirst at the time, whereas the first white was chilled and just did the trick.
Now I don't drink all that much, if we ignore my week in Mexico back in January and the week in Jamaica back in 2015, so I don't pretend to be an expert and try and offer up advice or reviews on the different varietals for either reds or whites, but I do know what I like and tend to stick with it for the long term.
My appreciation for a nice Pinot Grigio came courtesy of my time with Corinna as she liked a glass at night with some cheese or a sliced up baguette, a trend I've continued the last few years.
No, I'm not much of a drinker but lately I've started to try different beers as I do like to experiment along those lines, for a little while it was all cider based ales like Somersby and Strong Bow, with recent trend towards Big Wave Pale Ale from Hawaii, my son is partial to that one and I have to remind him whose beer it is or they go quickly from the fridge.
I've heard that some people put ice cubes in a red but I worry that would dilute the flavour too much and make me look like a total rube.......
So for now I'll be sticking with the Pinot but wonder what wines you enjoy and would recommend or pair with certain meals??
My name is Marcus and I'll never buy wine in a box but I won't raise my nose upwards if you do as we like what we like.
Today's musical suggestion is "Flash" by Queen. A little retro to the movie that Queen scored :)
Questions & comments can me directed to me at: ooasm2018@gmail.com
So I had my daughter and her family over for dinner tonight and my son-in-law asked if I had any wine in the house and I pointed in the direction of the fridge and to the corner of the dining room where there is a wine rack as well.
The fridge has a couple of bottles of Pinot Grigio chilling and there are a couple of red's in the wine rack. Now he loves a good red, one reason he gets along so well with his mother-in-law lol, but I'm more partial to a cold white any day of the week.
I think my preference comes from just my initial experiences with wine and how the first red I ever had was at room temperature and thus didn't do anything to quench my thirst at the time, whereas the first white was chilled and just did the trick.
Now I don't drink all that much, if we ignore my week in Mexico back in January and the week in Jamaica back in 2015, so I don't pretend to be an expert and try and offer up advice or reviews on the different varietals for either reds or whites, but I do know what I like and tend to stick with it for the long term.
My appreciation for a nice Pinot Grigio came courtesy of my time with Corinna as she liked a glass at night with some cheese or a sliced up baguette, a trend I've continued the last few years.
No, I'm not much of a drinker but lately I've started to try different beers as I do like to experiment along those lines, for a little while it was all cider based ales like Somersby and Strong Bow, with recent trend towards Big Wave Pale Ale from Hawaii, my son is partial to that one and I have to remind him whose beer it is or they go quickly from the fridge.
I've heard that some people put ice cubes in a red but I worry that would dilute the flavour too much and make me look like a total rube.......
So for now I'll be sticking with the Pinot but wonder what wines you enjoy and would recommend or pair with certain meals??
My name is Marcus and I'll never buy wine in a box but I won't raise my nose upwards if you do as we like what we like.
Today's musical suggestion is "Flash" by Queen. A little retro to the movie that Queen scored :)
Questions & comments can me directed to me at: ooasm2018@gmail.com
Saturday, December 15, 2018
Relationships........
Saturday, December 15/18
Many people think of relationships in terms of the physical intimacy that two people can have with one another and that is part of the package for sure.
When I think of a relationship it tends to transcend past the purely physical and be more all encompassing.
Now I know there are a few of you asking how anything can be more encompassing than the physical connection two people can share when they are naked under the covers doing what people do in such situations but there are far more ways to be totally in love with someone than just the mere sight of them exposed to your lustful gaze.
The overwhelming pleasure of being with someone isn't just the actual affection you share, sex, and companionship. It's the silent permission you've exchanged through a glance to reach out and brush your hand against her cheek, softly push a loose strand of hair back behind her ear, to thread your fingers through hers as you walk through a store, to snuggle on a couch and softly kiss the side of her neck.
The unspoken desire to send a flirty text at 2:30 in the afternoon letting her know you've thought of her and it made you smile, the picture you take of something you see while out that you just know she'll laugh at when she sees it come across her phone from you, it's getting up early on a Sunday and getting her coffee to start her day off right, it's wandering around the LCBO trying to find that Pinot Grigio that she just loves to have a glass of at the end of the day with some cheese that makes her feel happy and loved.
It's the scent of her perfume lingering in your bedroom days after she's spent the night.
It is being willing to try new things and new ways of preparing food.
It's each of you having your own opinion, being strong enough in your feelings to not let the other steam roll you but also taking the time to hear what they are saying and not belittling that opinion.
Don't get me wrong........there is nothing wrong with hot lust filled moments as those are pretty damn good in my book.......but those moments don't constitute all that a relationship is made of.....not in a long shot.....not to this guy
My name is Marcus and my understanding of what makes me happy in a relationship has evolved so much over time and will hopefully continue to evolve when I bump into my one.
Today's musical suggestion is "What's My Age Again?" by Blink 182 Original video was kind of cool and the remake incorporates some of the same scenes talking account the change in years.
On a side note........if you'd like to tell me what's going on with you or provide some feedback on a blog entry you can now do so by emailing me at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Many people think of relationships in terms of the physical intimacy that two people can have with one another and that is part of the package for sure.
When I think of a relationship it tends to transcend past the purely physical and be more all encompassing.
Now I know there are a few of you asking how anything can be more encompassing than the physical connection two people can share when they are naked under the covers doing what people do in such situations but there are far more ways to be totally in love with someone than just the mere sight of them exposed to your lustful gaze.
The overwhelming pleasure of being with someone isn't just the actual affection you share, sex, and companionship. It's the silent permission you've exchanged through a glance to reach out and brush your hand against her cheek, softly push a loose strand of hair back behind her ear, to thread your fingers through hers as you walk through a store, to snuggle on a couch and softly kiss the side of her neck.
The unspoken desire to send a flirty text at 2:30 in the afternoon letting her know you've thought of her and it made you smile, the picture you take of something you see while out that you just know she'll laugh at when she sees it come across her phone from you, it's getting up early on a Sunday and getting her coffee to start her day off right, it's wandering around the LCBO trying to find that Pinot Grigio that she just loves to have a glass of at the end of the day with some cheese that makes her feel happy and loved.
It's the scent of her perfume lingering in your bedroom days after she's spent the night.
It is being willing to try new things and new ways of preparing food.
It's each of you having your own opinion, being strong enough in your feelings to not let the other steam roll you but also taking the time to hear what they are saying and not belittling that opinion.
Don't get me wrong........there is nothing wrong with hot lust filled moments as those are pretty damn good in my book.......but those moments don't constitute all that a relationship is made of.....not in a long shot.....not to this guy
My name is Marcus and my understanding of what makes me happy in a relationship has evolved so much over time and will hopefully continue to evolve when I bump into my one.
Today's musical suggestion is "What's My Age Again?" by Blink 182 Original video was kind of cool and the remake incorporates some of the same scenes talking account the change in years.
On a side note........if you'd like to tell me what's going on with you or provide some feedback on a blog entry you can now do so by emailing me at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Thursday, December 13, 2018
Why do I end the blog like I do?
Thursday, December 13/18
So I was asked why I end each blog like I do, with my name and some little blurb about myself and my hope to meet the one......oh, and a musical recommendation, usually lol
When I first started out making entries about dating, being single, raising my kids, and just trying to get through life the best I could I used to add quotes from historical figures as I found some of those messages to be either thought provoking and/or representative of my emotional state at that moment in time. It sort of developed from watching One Tree Hill where every episode referenced a quote and it just stuck with me.
Over time it's morphed to include movies and now music, as both of these mediums can and have impacted how I feel about myself, what I'm hoping to accomplish, and the world around me.
I do not have one creative cell in my body but really appreciate those artists who can make me feel something, whether it be in film, books, art, or music. At one time or another each of those mediums has touched me in such a way as to leave me feeling happy, sad, despondent, elated, and most often hopeful.
Music has been the big one lately as I tend to spend my free time these days reading and researching music online.
I'm fast reaching the point where I'll be cutting out the cable TV as really neither my son or I watch it much other than some sports, both of us are more likely to be found watching NetFlix or YouTube.
There are so many good artists out there that I know it would be next to impossible for one person to discover them all by themselves and thus that is one reason I share my own findings with anyone who reads the blog, that and I hope in return to receive some suggestions from you as well.
So there is the reason I end things the way I do.
My name is Marcus and though I am single at the moment I do not consider myself alone as I've taken to trying to be more open to the world around me and the opportunities to brings me these days than I've ever been before in my life. Is that ex post proof that with age comes some wisdom?
Today's musical suggestion is "Helplessly Hoping" by Crosby & Stills & Nash
So I was asked why I end each blog like I do, with my name and some little blurb about myself and my hope to meet the one......oh, and a musical recommendation, usually lol
When I first started out making entries about dating, being single, raising my kids, and just trying to get through life the best I could I used to add quotes from historical figures as I found some of those messages to be either thought provoking and/or representative of my emotional state at that moment in time. It sort of developed from watching One Tree Hill where every episode referenced a quote and it just stuck with me.
Over time it's morphed to include movies and now music, as both of these mediums can and have impacted how I feel about myself, what I'm hoping to accomplish, and the world around me.
I do not have one creative cell in my body but really appreciate those artists who can make me feel something, whether it be in film, books, art, or music. At one time or another each of those mediums has touched me in such a way as to leave me feeling happy, sad, despondent, elated, and most often hopeful.
Music has been the big one lately as I tend to spend my free time these days reading and researching music online.
I'm fast reaching the point where I'll be cutting out the cable TV as really neither my son or I watch it much other than some sports, both of us are more likely to be found watching NetFlix or YouTube.
There are so many good artists out there that I know it would be next to impossible for one person to discover them all by themselves and thus that is one reason I share my own findings with anyone who reads the blog, that and I hope in return to receive some suggestions from you as well.
So there is the reason I end things the way I do.
My name is Marcus and though I am single at the moment I do not consider myself alone as I've taken to trying to be more open to the world around me and the opportunities to brings me these days than I've ever been before in my life. Is that ex post proof that with age comes some wisdom?
Today's musical suggestion is "Helplessly Hoping" by Crosby & Stills & Nash
Monday, December 10, 2018
I broke a vow and it made me smile
Monday, December 10/18
I took a vow about a year ago after some serious time spent pondering what was the sense in reminding myself over and over of what once was.
Seriously, the question was why was I continuously doing something that did nothing but make me sad and brought me no pleasure, unless of course I was a masochist who needed the constant reminder of what I was missing in my life.
So by now you are probably trying to figure out what was I doing that was so horrible that I had taken a vow to stop.........
No, I was not touching myself so please get that thought of your minds!!! This isn't that kind of blog, if that's something you are interested in than please Google it and find another blog please.
Nope, it was nothing more than looking at a Facebook profile every few days.
No harm in that right? Wrong when than profile is that of your former girlfriend......
Pathetic? Absolutely (there is that damn honesty thing again)
Stubborn? For sure
Rewarding? Not in the least, well partially not in the least as I never came across any updates that she had moved onto someone else.
Reckless? I don't think so as I never once did more than peek.
Smart? Hell's No!!!! There is smart and there is dumb. Usually I'm a pretty smart guy but sometimes the heart makes us, me in particular, very very dumb.
So I had come to all of these same conclusions on my own back in early 2017 and made a solemn vow to stop torturing myself and refrain from looking at her profile. She had moved on and this was the last thing I needed to do in order to begin doing so myself.
I'll admit the temptation has always been there and never more so than the first few months to go and take a sneak peek, but I didn't give in to the temptation and grew more and more proud of myself for having the willpower to honour the vow.
So you might ask just what happened that led me to break my vow now after being so good for the past 18+ months?
Honestly not a clue as I was online yesterday doing some research to help my son study for his Financial Accounting Final exam when Facebook notified me that I had new friend request, which is odd in and of itself given I don't have a public profile for a variety of reasons, primarily related to privacy for my children, and I opened my FB account to see this notification and literally before I even knew I was doing it found myself typing Corinne's name in the search box.
Of course FB being the little enabler that it is completed my search with her full name and opened up her profile right before my very eyes. Damn Mark Zuckerberg and his creation.
So as I sat there pondering the betrayal of my vow it dawned on me that I really liked her profile picture, it was a new selfie taken in her SUV and in it she was flashing that sweet smile I had grown accustomed to seeing flashed my way.
But something about it just screamed out to me.
That rattled me a bit as beside that smile, which is plenty enough reason for me, I wasn't sure what was keeping my focus so intent on the picture.
Think I sat there for a few minutes before I started to smile and knew what it was..........
I'm more than positive that the earrings she is wearing in the picture were my Christmas gift to her from 2014. I'm pretty sure that was the only time in my life I've purchased earrings for a woman before and it just came to me as I was walking past the Pandora store in the Bayshore Shopping Centre one day after work.
It makes me feel good to know she still has them and hopefully each time she puts them on she thinks of me and has good memories of me and our time together, as I do of her when I play a round of golf with the clubs she bought me for my birthday.
Someone once said to me that sometimes we meet the right person at the wrong time and I used to wonder if that was our story but I tend to think that......
if the heart matters enough, timing doesn't
My name is Marcus and I've renewed that vow once again, not because of any pain but rather to keep that memory untainted in my heart.
Today's musical recommendation is a little old school.......The Way You Look Tonight by old blue eyes himself, Mister Frank Sinatra
I took a vow about a year ago after some serious time spent pondering what was the sense in reminding myself over and over of what once was.
Seriously, the question was why was I continuously doing something that did nothing but make me sad and brought me no pleasure, unless of course I was a masochist who needed the constant reminder of what I was missing in my life.
So by now you are probably trying to figure out what was I doing that was so horrible that I had taken a vow to stop.........
No, I was not touching myself so please get that thought of your minds!!! This isn't that kind of blog, if that's something you are interested in than please Google it and find another blog please.
Nope, it was nothing more than looking at a Facebook profile every few days.
No harm in that right? Wrong when than profile is that of your former girlfriend......
Pathetic? Absolutely (there is that damn honesty thing again)
Stubborn? For sure
Rewarding? Not in the least, well partially not in the least as I never came across any updates that she had moved onto someone else.
Reckless? I don't think so as I never once did more than peek.
Smart? Hell's No!!!! There is smart and there is dumb. Usually I'm a pretty smart guy but sometimes the heart makes us, me in particular, very very dumb.
So I had come to all of these same conclusions on my own back in early 2017 and made a solemn vow to stop torturing myself and refrain from looking at her profile. She had moved on and this was the last thing I needed to do in order to begin doing so myself.
I'll admit the temptation has always been there and never more so than the first few months to go and take a sneak peek, but I didn't give in to the temptation and grew more and more proud of myself for having the willpower to honour the vow.
So you might ask just what happened that led me to break my vow now after being so good for the past 18+ months?
Honestly not a clue as I was online yesterday doing some research to help my son study for his Financial Accounting Final exam when Facebook notified me that I had new friend request, which is odd in and of itself given I don't have a public profile for a variety of reasons, primarily related to privacy for my children, and I opened my FB account to see this notification and literally before I even knew I was doing it found myself typing Corinne's name in the search box.
Of course FB being the little enabler that it is completed my search with her full name and opened up her profile right before my very eyes. Damn Mark Zuckerberg and his creation.
So as I sat there pondering the betrayal of my vow it dawned on me that I really liked her profile picture, it was a new selfie taken in her SUV and in it she was flashing that sweet smile I had grown accustomed to seeing flashed my way.
But something about it just screamed out to me.
That rattled me a bit as beside that smile, which is plenty enough reason for me, I wasn't sure what was keeping my focus so intent on the picture.
Think I sat there for a few minutes before I started to smile and knew what it was..........
I'm more than positive that the earrings she is wearing in the picture were my Christmas gift to her from 2014. I'm pretty sure that was the only time in my life I've purchased earrings for a woman before and it just came to me as I was walking past the Pandora store in the Bayshore Shopping Centre one day after work.
It makes me feel good to know she still has them and hopefully each time she puts them on she thinks of me and has good memories of me and our time together, as I do of her when I play a round of golf with the clubs she bought me for my birthday.
Someone once said to me that sometimes we meet the right person at the wrong time and I used to wonder if that was our story but I tend to think that......
if the heart matters enough, timing doesn't
My name is Marcus and I've renewed that vow once again, not because of any pain but rather to keep that memory untainted in my heart.
Today's musical recommendation is a little old school.......The Way You Look Tonight by old blue eyes himself, Mister Frank Sinatra
Wednesday, December 5, 2018
Heavy is the.......
Wednesday, December 05/18
So in one of the episodes of The Crown Elizabeth is talking to her grandmother and she is told something that made me think about how that is true about love.....
"Heavy is the head that holds the crown"
I was laying in bed this morning when that phrase just popped into my thoughts but more along the lines of love and my interpretation goes something like this.....
"Heavy is the heart that has been broken"
We've all had our heart broken at one time or another and had that aching hollow feeling inside our chest where our heart used to reside.
More often than not it's been broken by someone else's action but there are those rare times we take an action that results in this pain being self inflicted, it's rare but does happen, most often when you know the decision to end things is for the best in the long run but know it's going to hurt like hell in the short run, exceedingly hurt like a mother fucker!!
I've been on both sides of that equation and neither side feels good. I hated having my heart ripped out by someone, hated ripping it out myself when I had to end something, and hated the pain I caused someone who I could no longer be with but who once meant something to me.
Sometimes the pain is transitory and other times it's like the damn thing puts down roots and won't let go no matter what you do.
I had transitory when my marriage ended and I was looking at starting fresh in life. Roots of a damn oak tree was what I went through when things went south with Corrine, being honest requires me to admit that I doubt all those roots have been dug up and removed just quite yet, though I've made enough progress to put myself back out there for another shot at the so called golden ring.
Now I'm the first to admit that the mere thought of putting myself back out there is enough to give me heart palpitations and not the good kind when you make eye contact with someone across a room and just feel that electric shock course through your body, and we've all had that so don't even think about playing dumb on this one folks as I'll call bullshit right away.
But I am doing just that, putting myself back in the game so to speak, as I've come to realize that I'd rather risk the possibility of getting hurt than sit on the sidelines and moan and bitch about how much I hate being alone, and I've come to realize more and more the last few months that I really do hate being alone, probably more than I hate the Toronto Maple Leafs and I loathe that organization to my very core so that's saying quite a bit.
So there may come a time, hopefully sooner rather than later as I'm not getting any younger, when I meet a nice woman who so catches my eye that I step out of my comfort zone and actually approach her to say something lame like "Hi, how are you doing today?" in the hope she might feel something in return and respond in a positive manner.
People always find it shocking to hear me describe myself as an introvert as they say I don't come across as introverted or shy in the least but it really is how I see myself. It's easier for me to talk in front of a room of 500 people than it is to just talk to one woman I find attractive.
I have no game when it comes to that oh so important first greeting and there are no do overs once you've put your foot in your mouth and have no hope of recovering.
Now having said that I am happy to be open once more to finding love and all it's wonderful intricacies, both small and large.
My name is Marcus and my heart is healed enough to allow someone to get close once again.
So in one of the episodes of The Crown Elizabeth is talking to her grandmother and she is told something that made me think about how that is true about love.....
"Heavy is the head that holds the crown"
I was laying in bed this morning when that phrase just popped into my thoughts but more along the lines of love and my interpretation goes something like this.....
"Heavy is the heart that has been broken"
We've all had our heart broken at one time or another and had that aching hollow feeling inside our chest where our heart used to reside.
More often than not it's been broken by someone else's action but there are those rare times we take an action that results in this pain being self inflicted, it's rare but does happen, most often when you know the decision to end things is for the best in the long run but know it's going to hurt like hell in the short run, exceedingly hurt like a mother fucker!!
I've been on both sides of that equation and neither side feels good. I hated having my heart ripped out by someone, hated ripping it out myself when I had to end something, and hated the pain I caused someone who I could no longer be with but who once meant something to me.
Sometimes the pain is transitory and other times it's like the damn thing puts down roots and won't let go no matter what you do.
I had transitory when my marriage ended and I was looking at starting fresh in life. Roots of a damn oak tree was what I went through when things went south with Corrine, being honest requires me to admit that I doubt all those roots have been dug up and removed just quite yet, though I've made enough progress to put myself back out there for another shot at the so called golden ring.
Now I'm the first to admit that the mere thought of putting myself back out there is enough to give me heart palpitations and not the good kind when you make eye contact with someone across a room and just feel that electric shock course through your body, and we've all had that so don't even think about playing dumb on this one folks as I'll call bullshit right away.
But I am doing just that, putting myself back in the game so to speak, as I've come to realize that I'd rather risk the possibility of getting hurt than sit on the sidelines and moan and bitch about how much I hate being alone, and I've come to realize more and more the last few months that I really do hate being alone, probably more than I hate the Toronto Maple Leafs and I loathe that organization to my very core so that's saying quite a bit.
So there may come a time, hopefully sooner rather than later as I'm not getting any younger, when I meet a nice woman who so catches my eye that I step out of my comfort zone and actually approach her to say something lame like "Hi, how are you doing today?" in the hope she might feel something in return and respond in a positive manner.
People always find it shocking to hear me describe myself as an introvert as they say I don't come across as introverted or shy in the least but it really is how I see myself. It's easier for me to talk in front of a room of 500 people than it is to just talk to one woman I find attractive.
I have no game when it comes to that oh so important first greeting and there are no do overs once you've put your foot in your mouth and have no hope of recovering.
Now having said that I am happy to be open once more to finding love and all it's wonderful intricacies, both small and large.
My name is Marcus and my heart is healed enough to allow someone to get close once again.
Dating Profiles And Some Unsolicited Advice
Wednesday, December 05/18
So as you can see from the date below this one has been on the back burner for a little while and I've actually almost deleted it a few times but decided to resurrect it after seeing a few profiles over the weekend as I went back online.
Sunday, June 03/18
So as part of my ongoing self reflection I've taken down my dating profile and have decided to just let nature take it's course when it comes to me and the possibility of meeting the imperfectly perfect one for me.
Now I've been on and off a dating site since 2007 and have had both good and bad experiences, mostly bad in terms of quantity, the good came from the quality of some pretty amazing women I've had the good fortune to talk with and in two cases actually get to date.
I think I've always tried to be pretty upfront and honest when it came to my profiles and hope that what anyone saw was the real me in terms of my looks, yes there were pictures, and my intentions, based on what I wrote about myself and what I was seeking.
First and foremost I've always stated that I'm a romantic at heart. I believe in love and the ever lasting happiness it can bring when two people really give it a try. I believe in butterflies, holding open doors, not following some dumb 3 day rule before calling or texting after the first date, that a kiss is as far as one should ever go on a first date, and that love should never be confused with getting another notch on a bedpost, for either party.
My dating profile was brutally honest about who I was and I never shied away from calling it like I saw it when I came to my appearance with my words or my pictures. I'm not God's gift to women and I'm actually fine with that. I know that most women don't give me a second glance when they pass me or I enter a room. But guess what? I'm not here for most women. I'm here for that one who will see beyond the few extra pounds I was carrying or the grey hair that I've had for more years than I care to remember. I'm here for the one who sees my imperfections, and trust me when I say we've all got them, and still thinks I might be worth the effort getting to know.
Being on a dating website has given me ample opportunities to observe far more profiles than I ever thought possible or in reality wanted to see in my life. But online dating really is the new version of passing notes in the hallway or classroom, something those of us who are older can probably relate to more than anyone younger than 25 can in this day and age of electronic mediums and social websites.
So here is my take on some of the things I've come across on profiles....
Pictures! Pictures are good and let's face it both genders are visual despite the theory that it's only men who desire to see a picture.
But here is the thing with pictures, be honest with those you are posting.
So what do I mean when I say be honest with those pictures?
Make sure they are of you or the viewer can at least figure out who you are!
I can't begin to say how many profiles I've come across that had nothing but pictures in a group setting. Do you know how hard it can be to try and determine who the profile belongs to when everyone looks pretty much alike in the picture? If you are going to post a picture in a group setting or with a couple of your girlfriends please cut us some slack and give us a hint which one is you, it's pretty nerve wracking contemplating sending a message when you'd like to comment on the picture but are petrified to say anything for fear lest you mention the wrong woman in the the picture.
Oh, and maybe post some pictures taken in the last year or so. I've come across so many pictures that are 5 years or older, heck there are quite a few that I've come across with pictures from university days and that is just wrong in so many ways.
On another note, I get it that paint night is the new thing and applaud all the efforts being made to expand your horizons and take on new challenges but is it really necessary to post 5+ pictures of various paintings you've done over the last year? I'm talking along the lines of 5 pictures of paintings out of a total of maybe 6-7 on the profile.
While we are at it, let's cut back on the dog and cat pictures as well okay. The majority of us like pets but does anyone really need to see 4 pictures of Mr. Whiskers and 3 of Princess Mika? No, I didn't think so either. Unless you want the guy thinking crazy cat lady I'd say leave those off the site completely.
Additionally, I can't begin to count the number of profiles that have far too many scenery pictures posted. Here is my tip on posting those - don't or leave it at one at the most and make it somewhere interesting like Europe or Australia and not the dock at a cottage or a tree. Seen plenty of those and they leave me wondering what the person was thinking by posting them.
Don't even get me started on pictures taken using a Snap chat filter........
There is no straight man alive who will look at a profile picture taken using a Snap chat filter of you with bunny ears or stars exploding around your face and think to himself "I've so got to meet this woman, she's the one for me" Should any man actually send you a message complimenting you on using a Snap chat filter in a profile picture all I can say is run. Run Fast and run far as that is the kind of guy who says things like "it puts the lotion on or it gets the hose"....yes, a Silence of the Lambs quote.
So now that we've got the whole picture issue addressed once and for all, let's move onto the actual wording of your profile.
This one is easier. Just tell us a little about yourself and what you are hoping to find in a potential boyfriend. Less isn't more and more isn't less if you know what I mean.
You just want to tease us with a few interesting things about yourself. Do you like sports and what kind, are you into music and big on attending festivals, do you live to travel and what are some future spots you'd like to see.
Just give us some clues as to what makes you you so we can make an informed decision if we dare to reach out and make first contact.
Regardless of how many trolls are on the various websites believe me when I say that the majority of men are beyond scared when it comes to making the first move, despite the many messages you might get that are down right disgusting in nature, trust me I've heard all about them from friends and readers of the blog, there are actually some decent guys looking to make a connection, one that might actually, possibly, maybe, potentially end up leading to a real date.
Now before anyone gets their knickers in a bunch relax, I know there are just as many issues with men's profiles but I'm not viewing those as I don't bat for the home team, no this guy bats for the visiting team, he appreciates, nay, he loves the female form and always will.
Guys are idiots so nothing I write here will be of any assistance to them but there is the off chance a woman might see something in this blog and go back and review her own profile and see something that might need updating.
My name is Marcus and being an introvert makes dating so damn hard but preserver I shall.....
Today's musical suggestion is "Swimming in Stars" by the Wayfarers
So as you can see from the date below this one has been on the back burner for a little while and I've actually almost deleted it a few times but decided to resurrect it after seeing a few profiles over the weekend as I went back online.
Sunday, June 03/18
So as part of my ongoing self reflection I've taken down my dating profile and have decided to just let nature take it's course when it comes to me and the possibility of meeting the imperfectly perfect one for me.
Now I've been on and off a dating site since 2007 and have had both good and bad experiences, mostly bad in terms of quantity, the good came from the quality of some pretty amazing women I've had the good fortune to talk with and in two cases actually get to date.
I think I've always tried to be pretty upfront and honest when it came to my profiles and hope that what anyone saw was the real me in terms of my looks, yes there were pictures, and my intentions, based on what I wrote about myself and what I was seeking.
First and foremost I've always stated that I'm a romantic at heart. I believe in love and the ever lasting happiness it can bring when two people really give it a try. I believe in butterflies, holding open doors, not following some dumb 3 day rule before calling or texting after the first date, that a kiss is as far as one should ever go on a first date, and that love should never be confused with getting another notch on a bedpost, for either party.
My dating profile was brutally honest about who I was and I never shied away from calling it like I saw it when I came to my appearance with my words or my pictures. I'm not God's gift to women and I'm actually fine with that. I know that most women don't give me a second glance when they pass me or I enter a room. But guess what? I'm not here for most women. I'm here for that one who will see beyond the few extra pounds I was carrying or the grey hair that I've had for more years than I care to remember. I'm here for the one who sees my imperfections, and trust me when I say we've all got them, and still thinks I might be worth the effort getting to know.
Being on a dating website has given me ample opportunities to observe far more profiles than I ever thought possible or in reality wanted to see in my life. But online dating really is the new version of passing notes in the hallway or classroom, something those of us who are older can probably relate to more than anyone younger than 25 can in this day and age of electronic mediums and social websites.
So here is my take on some of the things I've come across on profiles....
Pictures! Pictures are good and let's face it both genders are visual despite the theory that it's only men who desire to see a picture.
But here is the thing with pictures, be honest with those you are posting.
So what do I mean when I say be honest with those pictures?
Make sure they are of you or the viewer can at least figure out who you are!
I can't begin to say how many profiles I've come across that had nothing but pictures in a group setting. Do you know how hard it can be to try and determine who the profile belongs to when everyone looks pretty much alike in the picture? If you are going to post a picture in a group setting or with a couple of your girlfriends please cut us some slack and give us a hint which one is you, it's pretty nerve wracking contemplating sending a message when you'd like to comment on the picture but are petrified to say anything for fear lest you mention the wrong woman in the the picture.
Oh, and maybe post some pictures taken in the last year or so. I've come across so many pictures that are 5 years or older, heck there are quite a few that I've come across with pictures from university days and that is just wrong in so many ways.
On another note, I get it that paint night is the new thing and applaud all the efforts being made to expand your horizons and take on new challenges but is it really necessary to post 5+ pictures of various paintings you've done over the last year? I'm talking along the lines of 5 pictures of paintings out of a total of maybe 6-7 on the profile.
While we are at it, let's cut back on the dog and cat pictures as well okay. The majority of us like pets but does anyone really need to see 4 pictures of Mr. Whiskers and 3 of Princess Mika? No, I didn't think so either. Unless you want the guy thinking crazy cat lady I'd say leave those off the site completely.
Additionally, I can't begin to count the number of profiles that have far too many scenery pictures posted. Here is my tip on posting those - don't or leave it at one at the most and make it somewhere interesting like Europe or Australia and not the dock at a cottage or a tree. Seen plenty of those and they leave me wondering what the person was thinking by posting them.
Don't even get me started on pictures taken using a Snap chat filter........
There is no straight man alive who will look at a profile picture taken using a Snap chat filter of you with bunny ears or stars exploding around your face and think to himself "I've so got to meet this woman, she's the one for me" Should any man actually send you a message complimenting you on using a Snap chat filter in a profile picture all I can say is run. Run Fast and run far as that is the kind of guy who says things like "it puts the lotion on or it gets the hose"....yes, a Silence of the Lambs quote.
So now that we've got the whole picture issue addressed once and for all, let's move onto the actual wording of your profile.
This one is easier. Just tell us a little about yourself and what you are hoping to find in a potential boyfriend. Less isn't more and more isn't less if you know what I mean.
You just want to tease us with a few interesting things about yourself. Do you like sports and what kind, are you into music and big on attending festivals, do you live to travel and what are some future spots you'd like to see.
Just give us some clues as to what makes you you so we can make an informed decision if we dare to reach out and make first contact.
Regardless of how many trolls are on the various websites believe me when I say that the majority of men are beyond scared when it comes to making the first move, despite the many messages you might get that are down right disgusting in nature, trust me I've heard all about them from friends and readers of the blog, there are actually some decent guys looking to make a connection, one that might actually, possibly, maybe, potentially end up leading to a real date.
Now before anyone gets their knickers in a bunch relax, I know there are just as many issues with men's profiles but I'm not viewing those as I don't bat for the home team, no this guy bats for the visiting team, he appreciates, nay, he loves the female form and always will.
Guys are idiots so nothing I write here will be of any assistance to them but there is the off chance a woman might see something in this blog and go back and review her own profile and see something that might need updating.
My name is Marcus and being an introvert makes dating so damn hard but preserver I shall.....
Today's musical suggestion is "Swimming in Stars" by the Wayfarers
Sunday, November 11, 2018
One Hundred Years Ago...........Lest We Forget
Sunday, November 11, 2018
One hundred years ago today the guns went silent on the western front and the world gave a silent prayer that the horrible conflict known as the Great War had come to an end.
An end for some and a lifetime to deal with it for others.
War is never glorious as it rends bodies and minds, destroys men and women, tears asunder families.
We ask much of those who would protect us and own them even more for the ultimate sacrifice that some will make honouring our request.
It is our sacred duty to remember them and what they gave up for all of us.
My great grandfather stands watch silently in Flanders Field as he has done since 1917.
An uncle rests in the jungles of Borneo where he fell in 1944.
Another uncle lays in his homeland of Italy where he gave his life in 1945.
I think we can all trace a family member and a loss to one of the two world wars that have been waged across the globe, we are all touched by conflict, whether directly ourselves or through the actions of someone close to us, be they family or friend.
I've been touched through both family and friends and will never forget them, I've tried my best to pass on this feeling to my children and will do so with my grandson Jack when I take him to visit the War Memorial in Ottawa.
For those past, present, and future who shall give of themselves, I promise to never forget....
One hundred years ago today the guns went silent on the western front and the world gave a silent prayer that the horrible conflict known as the Great War had come to an end.
An end for some and a lifetime to deal with it for others.
War is never glorious as it rends bodies and minds, destroys men and women, tears asunder families.
We ask much of those who would protect us and own them even more for the ultimate sacrifice that some will make honouring our request.
It is our sacred duty to remember them and what they gave up for all of us.
My great grandfather stands watch silently in Flanders Field as he has done since 1917.
An uncle rests in the jungles of Borneo where he fell in 1944.
Another uncle lays in his homeland of Italy where he gave his life in 1945.
I think we can all trace a family member and a loss to one of the two world wars that have been waged across the globe, we are all touched by conflict, whether directly ourselves or through the actions of someone close to us, be they family or friend.
I've been touched through both family and friends and will never forget them, I've tried my best to pass on this feeling to my children and will do so with my grandson Jack when I take him to visit the War Memorial in Ottawa.
For those past, present, and future who shall give of themselves, I promise to never forget....
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae
My name is Marcus and today I'll be raising a glass in toast to those no longer with us and those away from families making the world a better place
Saturday, October 27, 2018
Ladies & Gentlemen....We Have S N O W !!!!
Saturday, October 27/18
So there I was sitting on the couch with Moki curled up next to me, a pint glass filled with a cold Big Wave Pale Ale, The Nutcracker playing on the sound bar, reading my tablet when what did my peripheral vision see out the front window?
The twinkle of falling snow as it crossed the front porch light made me pause and look out the window to see my front yard slowly turning white.
Now I'm pretty sure it will all melt tomorrow before noon but it was still cool to see as it came earlier than I expected this year.
The funny thing was that while I was walking Moki this morning in the park I had to really bundle up in a heavier jacket than usual, gloves, and a toque as it was -2c. As we were walking I told her that it felt cold enough for snow and we better get all the walks in we can before she begins her annual winter refusal to go for a walk in the snow, sure enough now we have snow and she won't be happy in the morning when she steps out the door and feels it on her paws. spoiled little princess that I've made her.
So stay warm, be safe, and remember to be nice to one another.
Here is my front yard at 8:35 am and the snow is still falling :)
My name is Marcus and while I don't embrace winter like a lot of my fellow Canadians, I don't exactly hate it either as it increases my appreciation for the other three seasons.
Today's musical recommendation is Vertigo by Khalid. I'm not sure why this song touched me the way it did but I literally started to feel tear's on my cheeks when I heard this song for the first time this afternoon. He has such an amazing voice and coupled with the lyrics this one just seemed to reach inside my chest and gently squeeze my heart, reminding me that is is better to feel something, even pain, rather than being numb to life.
So there I was sitting on the couch with Moki curled up next to me, a pint glass filled with a cold Big Wave Pale Ale, The Nutcracker playing on the sound bar, reading my tablet when what did my peripheral vision see out the front window?
The twinkle of falling snow as it crossed the front porch light made me pause and look out the window to see my front yard slowly turning white.
Now I'm pretty sure it will all melt tomorrow before noon but it was still cool to see as it came earlier than I expected this year.
The funny thing was that while I was walking Moki this morning in the park I had to really bundle up in a heavier jacket than usual, gloves, and a toque as it was -2c. As we were walking I told her that it felt cold enough for snow and we better get all the walks in we can before she begins her annual winter refusal to go for a walk in the snow, sure enough now we have snow and she won't be happy in the morning when she steps out the door and feels it on her paws. spoiled little princess that I've made her.
So stay warm, be safe, and remember to be nice to one another.
Here is my front yard at 8:35 am and the snow is still falling :)
My name is Marcus and while I don't embrace winter like a lot of my fellow Canadians, I don't exactly hate it either as it increases my appreciation for the other three seasons.
Today's musical recommendation is Vertigo by Khalid. I'm not sure why this song touched me the way it did but I literally started to feel tear's on my cheeks when I heard this song for the first time this afternoon. He has such an amazing voice and coupled with the lyrics this one just seemed to reach inside my chest and gently squeeze my heart, reminding me that is is better to feel something, even pain, rather than being numb to life.
Let's Talk About..............Golf
Friday, October 19/18
Given the time of year it seems kind of odd to talk about golf but I've always marched to a different drummer than most people :)
Additionally, seeing how few posts I've done lately the reader might have expected my newest entry to talk about love, relationships, the recent legalization of marijuana, or the polarization between the left and the right here in Canada. Rest assured, these are still topics near to my heart and sure to result in a post or two down the road.
But for now, let's talk about my 4th favourite thing in life - Golf :-)
Wait, you ask what are numbers 1-3?
Really? you can't figure that one out by yourself......gotta say that makes me wonder.....
Number 1 - Jack, my incredibly awesome grandson who is the pure light in my heart.
Number 2 - my daughter and son, both of whom amaze me every single day with the adults they've developed into over the years. Might now have worked out with they're mother, but man did we make two pretty amazing kids, if I do say so myself, and I do say so!
Number 3 - Moki the Wonder Puppy. I know at 7 years old she isn't really a puppy but she still acts like one and probably will her entire life.
Coming in number 4 is golf, though I do like to tell the kids that sometimes it's Jack and than Golf in my order of preferences lol
So back to golf.........
I got a late start to my game this year due to the health scare, surgery, and complications, didn't really play my first round until early July but did try and make up for it by playing multiple rounds every weekend at my club, Stittsville Golf.
Due to the health issue and corresponding late start I didn't renew my membership and thus ended up playing the majority of my rounds in the afternoon when rates were better.
I think I managed to play around 25 rounds, down substantially from last years +50 rounds all around the Ottawa region. All of my rounds this year were at Stittsville, due to the aforementioned pricing as well as the course being fairly close to home and I know it like the back of my hand.
Now even though I didn't get as many round in this season as last I still consider it one of my best seasons ever!!
What made it so good? A lot of things I guess come into play when I make that statement. First among them was the simple fact that I got to play at all when there was a chance that wouldn't be the case at the start of the year. I think that fact more than anything convinced me to play a couple of rounds back in January when we were down in Mexico for my daughters wedding. As much as I love to play, I'm quite adverse to playing a round with anything other than my own clubs for the simple reason that I know my distances with them, other clubs leave me feeling confused as the distances hit by various clubs can vary by up to 15 yards. Now that might not seem like much but when you are 145 yards out and know you can hit your 7 iron and put the ball on the green it means everything, as if you now find yourself 15 yards short of the green or 15 yards past the green you can find yourself in a bunker or water, should the hole be an island green.
I got lucky in Mexico and with my first round was given a set of Ping G20's, only one version older than my own Pings G30's, and clubs I was familiar with, though there was no Hybrid to hit off the fairways and thus I was forced to actually hit a fairway wood, not something I enjoy. The second round was with a set of Titlelist irons and Callaway woods that included a nice 4 Hyrbid. The Titlelist were really easy to hit and were as nice as my own Pings but mine about $600 cheaper to buy brand newlol
My Mexico rounds were decent, one 89 and one 93, one played with my ex's boyfriend, a decent guy who I enjoyed playing with, and the last round as part of a foursome with some other people from the resort. This round may eventually end up being a separate blog as it was pretty much any single heterosexual males dream group, I'll let you ponder than and come up with your own visions lol.
The other factors that made the season my best ever included getting asked to play in our companies foursome for the annual golf tournament put on by the parent company. The group I joined had finished in 2nd place 3 years running and we managed to win it this year by 1 stroke!!! Not that I was the deciding factor as I had to have some of the shortest drives but my wedge work and putting more than made up for my lack of distance in this best ball format.
The final factor was my traditional birthday round of golf. Now for my birthday every year I treat myself to a round at a course that is usually out of my range price wise. Last year it was The Marshes and the two years prior to that included Loch March and The Canadian.
This year I played my birthday round at Stittsville, not an expensive course but the difference was that my son joined me for a full round of golf, the first time we've played a round together in probably 9 years or so. What made it better was that it was his idea to play a round with me. I had a huge smile when we checked in at the clubhouse and got to introduce him to everyone and saw the look on his face when he realized every single person we interacted with knew me on a first name basis and had something nice to say to me, from the club pro to the women working the refreshment stand to the groundskeeper we ran into on the first tee who let me know pin placements on each hole since they'd switched over to new flags and the colour codes weren't on the scorecards yet.
I didn't play a bad round, shot an even 90, but probably got a bigger kick out of watching my son play so well and hear him tell me at the end that he couldn't wait for our round next year on my birthday.
Golf has been and will continue to be my own versions of yoga and meditation all rolled into one.
Now matter how bad I play, and trust me the bad rounds happen far more often than I'd like, I still come away feeling mentally recharged. I use the time on the course to think over the things going on in my life, talking to myself as I play the round, reminding myself of the little things I need to focus on, and reminding myself that each day is like a clean slate, to be filled with the words and actions that I want without influence from yesterday or tomorrow.
Now here is the odd thing about my golf season this year........it ended back in early September when I put my clubs away even though there was still probably about a month of golf left for 2018.
Why did I put them away so early you are probably wondering.........the answer is simple to me but probably not simple enough for anyone else to understand.
It was simply the right time for me to stop playing. My season had more good rounds than bad and I wanted to end it on a high note, so with the tournament win and my birthday round in August, followed up with two rounds in the mid to high 80's the time was right to put the sticks away for another year.
Every year I seem to make one big purchase that fills a gap in my golf bag. 2015 saw the new Ping G30 irons added courtesy of Corinne, 2016 was a new Nike Vapour Driver, 2017 was a new Titlelist Vokey Wedge, and this year was, well nothing really. I replaced my worn out golf shoes but between a $50 gift card from my son from last Christmas and a scratch off ticket at Golf Town that took an additional 25% of the cost I ended up spending something like $26 for new Adidas spikeless golf shoes.
Now 2019 will be another story as I plan on getting a new putter and will go about doing it the right way and get fitted properly, like I did when I got the new Pings in 2015. I've never really invested in a great putter and given it is literally the only club you are 100% going to use on every single hole, unless you manage to hole out a wedge shot, it makes sense to make an investment in a good one.
It's not like I have had bad putters in my bag. My ex gave me a nice Taylor Made Nubbins as a wedding gift back in 2001 but it's kind of gotten a bit long in the tooth, like the guy using it lol, others I've used include another Taylor Made (Ghost), a decent Ping Shea H, and the current Taylor Made (White Smoke). The problem is one is perfectly balanced (White Smoke) but more like a traditional blade putter and other is a semi mallet design (Ping Shea H) that isn't as balanced. I spent this season switching back and forth between the White Smoke and the Shea H but never really felt completely comfortable with either one to fully commit to it.
I'm leaning towards a Titlelist Scotty Cameron but they run between $300-$500 each, kind of steep but still my preference as I know I'll get good use out of it if I can only get the right length and alignment.
Oh, and I have to get my irons regripped but that probably won't be more than $75 or so. I learned the hard way that irons need to be regripped about every 50 rounds or so, I left the grips on my old irons from 2000 to 2014 and could I ever feel the difference when the new grips were installed, like 10 yards of additional distance difference :-)
So that's my post on golf this season. I had some great rounds, a couple I'd like to forget, one tournament win, one father son bonding round, and some things to consider for next season.
My name is Marcus and I'm coming to slowly realize that the odds of my shooting in the low 80's are probably better than the odds of me meeting my one, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up...yet
Today's musical suggestion is Patio Lanterns by Kim Mitchell. A good Canadian artist from the 90's who knew how to turn a lyric.
Given the time of year it seems kind of odd to talk about golf but I've always marched to a different drummer than most people :)
Additionally, seeing how few posts I've done lately the reader might have expected my newest entry to talk about love, relationships, the recent legalization of marijuana, or the polarization between the left and the right here in Canada. Rest assured, these are still topics near to my heart and sure to result in a post or two down the road.
But for now, let's talk about my 4th favourite thing in life - Golf :-)
Wait, you ask what are numbers 1-3?
Really? you can't figure that one out by yourself......gotta say that makes me wonder.....
Number 1 - Jack, my incredibly awesome grandson who is the pure light in my heart.
Number 2 - my daughter and son, both of whom amaze me every single day with the adults they've developed into over the years. Might now have worked out with they're mother, but man did we make two pretty amazing kids, if I do say so myself, and I do say so!
Number 3 - Moki the Wonder Puppy. I know at 7 years old she isn't really a puppy but she still acts like one and probably will her entire life.
Coming in number 4 is golf, though I do like to tell the kids that sometimes it's Jack and than Golf in my order of preferences lol
So back to golf.........
I got a late start to my game this year due to the health scare, surgery, and complications, didn't really play my first round until early July but did try and make up for it by playing multiple rounds every weekend at my club, Stittsville Golf.
Due to the health issue and corresponding late start I didn't renew my membership and thus ended up playing the majority of my rounds in the afternoon when rates were better.
I think I managed to play around 25 rounds, down substantially from last years +50 rounds all around the Ottawa region. All of my rounds this year were at Stittsville, due to the aforementioned pricing as well as the course being fairly close to home and I know it like the back of my hand.
Now even though I didn't get as many round in this season as last I still consider it one of my best seasons ever!!
What made it so good? A lot of things I guess come into play when I make that statement. First among them was the simple fact that I got to play at all when there was a chance that wouldn't be the case at the start of the year. I think that fact more than anything convinced me to play a couple of rounds back in January when we were down in Mexico for my daughters wedding. As much as I love to play, I'm quite adverse to playing a round with anything other than my own clubs for the simple reason that I know my distances with them, other clubs leave me feeling confused as the distances hit by various clubs can vary by up to 15 yards. Now that might not seem like much but when you are 145 yards out and know you can hit your 7 iron and put the ball on the green it means everything, as if you now find yourself 15 yards short of the green or 15 yards past the green you can find yourself in a bunker or water, should the hole be an island green.
I got lucky in Mexico and with my first round was given a set of Ping G20's, only one version older than my own Pings G30's, and clubs I was familiar with, though there was no Hybrid to hit off the fairways and thus I was forced to actually hit a fairway wood, not something I enjoy. The second round was with a set of Titlelist irons and Callaway woods that included a nice 4 Hyrbid. The Titlelist were really easy to hit and were as nice as my own Pings but mine about $600 cheaper to buy brand newlol
My Mexico rounds were decent, one 89 and one 93, one played with my ex's boyfriend, a decent guy who I enjoyed playing with, and the last round as part of a foursome with some other people from the resort. This round may eventually end up being a separate blog as it was pretty much any single heterosexual males dream group, I'll let you ponder than and come up with your own visions lol.
The other factors that made the season my best ever included getting asked to play in our companies foursome for the annual golf tournament put on by the parent company. The group I joined had finished in 2nd place 3 years running and we managed to win it this year by 1 stroke!!! Not that I was the deciding factor as I had to have some of the shortest drives but my wedge work and putting more than made up for my lack of distance in this best ball format.
The final factor was my traditional birthday round of golf. Now for my birthday every year I treat myself to a round at a course that is usually out of my range price wise. Last year it was The Marshes and the two years prior to that included Loch March and The Canadian.
This year I played my birthday round at Stittsville, not an expensive course but the difference was that my son joined me for a full round of golf, the first time we've played a round together in probably 9 years or so. What made it better was that it was his idea to play a round with me. I had a huge smile when we checked in at the clubhouse and got to introduce him to everyone and saw the look on his face when he realized every single person we interacted with knew me on a first name basis and had something nice to say to me, from the club pro to the women working the refreshment stand to the groundskeeper we ran into on the first tee who let me know pin placements on each hole since they'd switched over to new flags and the colour codes weren't on the scorecards yet.
I didn't play a bad round, shot an even 90, but probably got a bigger kick out of watching my son play so well and hear him tell me at the end that he couldn't wait for our round next year on my birthday.
Golf has been and will continue to be my own versions of yoga and meditation all rolled into one.
Now matter how bad I play, and trust me the bad rounds happen far more often than I'd like, I still come away feeling mentally recharged. I use the time on the course to think over the things going on in my life, talking to myself as I play the round, reminding myself of the little things I need to focus on, and reminding myself that each day is like a clean slate, to be filled with the words and actions that I want without influence from yesterday or tomorrow.
Now here is the odd thing about my golf season this year........it ended back in early September when I put my clubs away even though there was still probably about a month of golf left for 2018.
Why did I put them away so early you are probably wondering.........the answer is simple to me but probably not simple enough for anyone else to understand.
It was simply the right time for me to stop playing. My season had more good rounds than bad and I wanted to end it on a high note, so with the tournament win and my birthday round in August, followed up with two rounds in the mid to high 80's the time was right to put the sticks away for another year.
Every year I seem to make one big purchase that fills a gap in my golf bag. 2015 saw the new Ping G30 irons added courtesy of Corinne, 2016 was a new Nike Vapour Driver, 2017 was a new Titlelist Vokey Wedge, and this year was, well nothing really. I replaced my worn out golf shoes but between a $50 gift card from my son from last Christmas and a scratch off ticket at Golf Town that took an additional 25% of the cost I ended up spending something like $26 for new Adidas spikeless golf shoes.
Now 2019 will be another story as I plan on getting a new putter and will go about doing it the right way and get fitted properly, like I did when I got the new Pings in 2015. I've never really invested in a great putter and given it is literally the only club you are 100% going to use on every single hole, unless you manage to hole out a wedge shot, it makes sense to make an investment in a good one.
It's not like I have had bad putters in my bag. My ex gave me a nice Taylor Made Nubbins as a wedding gift back in 2001 but it's kind of gotten a bit long in the tooth, like the guy using it lol, others I've used include another Taylor Made (Ghost), a decent Ping Shea H, and the current Taylor Made (White Smoke). The problem is one is perfectly balanced (White Smoke) but more like a traditional blade putter and other is a semi mallet design (Ping Shea H) that isn't as balanced. I spent this season switching back and forth between the White Smoke and the Shea H but never really felt completely comfortable with either one to fully commit to it.
I'm leaning towards a Titlelist Scotty Cameron but they run between $300-$500 each, kind of steep but still my preference as I know I'll get good use out of it if I can only get the right length and alignment.
Oh, and I have to get my irons regripped but that probably won't be more than $75 or so. I learned the hard way that irons need to be regripped about every 50 rounds or so, I left the grips on my old irons from 2000 to 2014 and could I ever feel the difference when the new grips were installed, like 10 yards of additional distance difference :-)
So that's my post on golf this season. I had some great rounds, a couple I'd like to forget, one tournament win, one father son bonding round, and some things to consider for next season.
My name is Marcus and I'm coming to slowly realize that the odds of my shooting in the low 80's are probably better than the odds of me meeting my one, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up...yet
Today's musical suggestion is Patio Lanterns by Kim Mitchell. A good Canadian artist from the 90's who knew how to turn a lyric.
Sunday, October 7, 2018
Happy Thanksgiving Canada
Sunday, October 07/18
Well tomorrow is Thanksgiving in Canada and I wanted to take a moment to wish all my fellow Canadians a Happy Thanksgiving, hoping you are able to share some warm times and good food with family and friends.
My son and I will be heading over to my daughters house tomorrow to partake of some turkey, ham, and all the fixings. When I saw her this morning she was literally bouncing with anticipation about hosting the family dinner, so much that I had to stifle my laugh lest she think I wasn't taking her serious.
Over the years I've watched both my kids develop into well rounded adults, who have brought me much joy a little worry now and again, but in the end I've come to realize that the ex and I did a pretty damn good job raising them as co-parents.
I know that my son has it easier with me than my daughter did as I came into her life when she was 5 years old and really learned how to be a dad with her, much to his benefit, but at the same time I don't remember that part of my life where I wasn't her daddy.
Life can throw us some unexpected twists but the key is being able to keep your feet from becoming too firmly planted so you can change directions as warranted.
Three years ago I was making my first Thanksgiving Dinner for my family, albeit with a lot of assistance from Corinna, and I can say thinking back on that day makes me appreciate those who have come into my life, whether for a moment, a season, or forvever!!
Forever doesn't mean they are physically still part of your life but that the influence they created has stayed with you through the test of time.
I'm pretty damn lucky to say that has been the case with a couple of people who had large parts in shaping the man I am today.
Stay warm and always remember............you are important to someone, whether you might not realize it or not.
Marcus
Today's musical recommendation is an oldie but goodie......"We've Got Tonight" by Bob Segar & The Silver Bullet Band
Well tomorrow is Thanksgiving in Canada and I wanted to take a moment to wish all my fellow Canadians a Happy Thanksgiving, hoping you are able to share some warm times and good food with family and friends.
My son and I will be heading over to my daughters house tomorrow to partake of some turkey, ham, and all the fixings. When I saw her this morning she was literally bouncing with anticipation about hosting the family dinner, so much that I had to stifle my laugh lest she think I wasn't taking her serious.
Over the years I've watched both my kids develop into well rounded adults, who have brought me much joy a little worry now and again, but in the end I've come to realize that the ex and I did a pretty damn good job raising them as co-parents.
I know that my son has it easier with me than my daughter did as I came into her life when she was 5 years old and really learned how to be a dad with her, much to his benefit, but at the same time I don't remember that part of my life where I wasn't her daddy.
Life can throw us some unexpected twists but the key is being able to keep your feet from becoming too firmly planted so you can change directions as warranted.
Three years ago I was making my first Thanksgiving Dinner for my family, albeit with a lot of assistance from Corinna, and I can say thinking back on that day makes me appreciate those who have come into my life, whether for a moment, a season, or forvever!!
Forever doesn't mean they are physically still part of your life but that the influence they created has stayed with you through the test of time.
I'm pretty damn lucky to say that has been the case with a couple of people who had large parts in shaping the man I am today.
Stay warm and always remember............you are important to someone, whether you might not realize it or not.
Marcus
Today's musical recommendation is an oldie but goodie......"We've Got Tonight" by Bob Segar & The Silver Bullet Band
Sunday, September 30, 2018
Ponder this and I'll be back in a bit
Sunday, September 30/18
There are two gifts every parent should give their children:
Roots upon which to grow and wings with which to discover the world around themselves.
It's been far longer than I like since I last posted a blog and there really is no solid reason for it other than I just haven't been putting the time into getting any presentable.
Not like there aren't a lot of things I can blog about but more just me not being able to motivate myself to do them, and no it's not because I've been busy golfing or dating, though I was doing both of those things for a bit, maybe there is a blog entry about each of my recent adventures around each of them lol
Marcus
There are two gifts every parent should give their children:
Roots upon which to grow and wings with which to discover the world around themselves.
It's been far longer than I like since I last posted a blog and there really is no solid reason for it other than I just haven't been putting the time into getting any presentable.
Not like there aren't a lot of things I can blog about but more just me not being able to motivate myself to do them, and no it's not because I've been busy golfing or dating, though I was doing both of those things for a bit, maybe there is a blog entry about each of my recent adventures around each of them lol
Marcus
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