Monday, February 04/19
So my "Let's Talk" blog entry from January 31st has resulted in more than a few questions asking if it really meant what it sounded like and the answer is a yes.
For those not familiar with the actual paragraph in question here it is again....
"I learned to compartmentalize my feelings at a very young age in order to avoid being mocked and not really deal with them. This led me to suffer from severe bouts of self doubt and extremely low self esteem, so much so that at one point I stood on the edge of the abyss and contemplated just stepping off into the darkness once and for all."
There are things each of us have done that we are not proud of or ever want to share for fear of how they might make us look, that is true for me as well so actually putting into words that there was once a moment where I came close to just letting go still causes me issues to this very day.
I'm a Roman Catholic so the mere thought of suicide and the eternal damnation of my soul should have been enough to keep those thoughts from my mind but we all have those moments where we just question whether it is even worth it to continue, that maybe the world around us would be a better place, that we wouldn't be missed as we really don't matter a rats ass to anyone.
How close was I you wonder? Probably a few hours away close.
What made me step back from the edge and just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward in life?
The thought of how much pain my friend Kelly suffered when her mother committed suicide, the thought that I had only really started to live my life, that I had a lot more years to go to see if I could actually improve myself.
I'd love to say it was the thought of my kids growing up without me but I was a long way from that point in my life so I can't use them as my reason, though I did wonder what it would be like to be a father in my own right, the things I'd try to emulate that I had learned from observing my grandfather and the things I'd never do or say to my child that I'd had to endure from my own stepfather growing up.
Tough love is what it used to be called but it really was nothing more than pure physical abuse on a bad and extreme mental abuse on a good day. The mental part stays with me to this day and sometimes has me questioning whether I really became the son of a bitch I was told I'd be in the end........I don't think so but that self doubt is kind of hard to shake....
I'm so far from perfect but the one thing I've tried to do is learn from my mistakes and be a better person each and every damn day.
Yes, I once stood at the abyss but in the end I felt that as bad as I was feeling at that very moment that I had to take ownership of the process and make some drastic changes in my life, including cutting out my family for several years so I could just focus on myself and not have to constantly defend my decisions, like going to university and moving into my own place, pretty simple stuff but both were actions that I was told were stupid and selfish.
The flip is that my take on education just grew stronger and both my kids have had the opportunity to attend university and I'd sell a kidney to make sure that option was there for them.
There are times I feel the doom and gloom approaching over the horizon and that is when I make sure to talk to someone, to let my emotions out so that they don't fester into something I might not be able to control.
I'm lucky in that I've had the resources to talk to someone when needed and know that is more the exception than the norm and the reason I've always told those in my life that I'll always be there for them to talk to about things, that I might not be able to solve the issues they are facing, but we can and will face them together.
The abyss doesn't offer the solution you may think and I know it took a lot for me to step away as I did as the pain was so intense at times I just wanted it to go away.
Unfortunately we don't know what is on the other side so I think it better to face the problem we do know in the here and now to one we might encounter from stepping off the edge, an act we don't get any do overs from.............
My name is Marcus and I've been to the edge and back, it's a scary place to stand but one I'm glad I've seen as it makes me appreciate all that has happened in my life since.
Comments and observations are always welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Monday, February 4, 2019
Wednesday, January 30, 2019
Let's Talk!!
Wednesday, January 30/19
Today is the annual Bell "Let's Talk" day to promote mental health awareness and remove the stigma that suffering from it has carried for far too many years.
First off, my apologies for getting this blog entry out so late today but some new things have been happening in my life that have been taking up a lot of my time. Having said that, this is an important topic to me and I feel pretty shitty about the lateness of today's post.
You either suffer from some form of mental health issue or you know someone who does. Period, end of story, it's not really something you can debate in this day and age. You might not suffer from it yourself but I can guarantee you that a family member, close friend, or co-worker does suffer from it and behooves all of us to be aware of it and know what to do should the moment arise when it becomes more apparent than not.
Lot of males grow up being told "Stop crying, what are you a little girl" or "Big boys don't cry"
Bullshit!!!!! Real men do cry and let emotions show for all to see. I've cried and I'm sure I'll do it again more than likely sooner rather than later. My kids have seen me cry and I'm not ashamed of it or embarrassed by it as I think it shows them that bottling emotions up can be damaging.
My son is not afraid to show his emotions when something is bothering him and I couldn't love him anymore than if I tried as it shows me he gets it and isn't keeping things inside, that while his mother or I might not be able to solve the problem that we are here to listen and let him get things off his chest. Both of my kids and now my son-in-law have heard my offer to always be there and do whatever they need me to do.......even if it is just to lend a a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, really listen to the message they want to communicate.
Sometimes listening means understanding what the words aren't really saying but rather what the other person is trying to express. We can't always do anything about the problem but we can always make time to just be there for them and sometimes that is all the other person wants or needs at that particular moment.
In years past I've suffered from depression and learned to talk about the things that bother me with a therapist and a few close friends. It was the hardest thing I've ever done as I'm one of those guys grew up in a house where boys were told it's not manly to express emotions.
I learned to compartmentalize my feelings at a very young age in order to avoid being mocked and not really deal with them. This led me to suffer from severe bouts of self doubt and extremely low self esteem, so much so that at one point I stood on the edge of the abyss and contemplated just stepping off into the darkness once and for all.
But for the memory of my high school friend Kelly and all she suffered from her own mothers suicide I might have really done the unthinkable and missed out on so much life.
I've done my best to impart this on my children and as my grandson gets older he'll likely hear me telling him that not matter what is going on in his life that I'm always going to be there for him to lean on and just talk to about anything and everything he's feeling.
We can't solve all the problems we are presented but we can all be warm, decent. caring people and offer a smile, a kind word, and the opportunity for someone to talk the things they are going through. You might be surprised how much it may help someone, someone you might not have even realized was on the edge at that moment.
I love the "Let's Talk" message but don't limit myself to following it on just one day but try and use it every single day.
My name is Marcus and I'm here if you ever just want to talk to someone.
Reach out to me at ooasm2018@gmail.com and let's talk!!!
Today is the annual Bell "Let's Talk" day to promote mental health awareness and remove the stigma that suffering from it has carried for far too many years.
First off, my apologies for getting this blog entry out so late today but some new things have been happening in my life that have been taking up a lot of my time. Having said that, this is an important topic to me and I feel pretty shitty about the lateness of today's post.
You either suffer from some form of mental health issue or you know someone who does. Period, end of story, it's not really something you can debate in this day and age. You might not suffer from it yourself but I can guarantee you that a family member, close friend, or co-worker does suffer from it and behooves all of us to be aware of it and know what to do should the moment arise when it becomes more apparent than not.
Lot of males grow up being told "Stop crying, what are you a little girl" or "Big boys don't cry"
Bullshit!!!!! Real men do cry and let emotions show for all to see. I've cried and I'm sure I'll do it again more than likely sooner rather than later. My kids have seen me cry and I'm not ashamed of it or embarrassed by it as I think it shows them that bottling emotions up can be damaging.
My son is not afraid to show his emotions when something is bothering him and I couldn't love him anymore than if I tried as it shows me he gets it and isn't keeping things inside, that while his mother or I might not be able to solve the problem that we are here to listen and let him get things off his chest. Both of my kids and now my son-in-law have heard my offer to always be there and do whatever they need me to do.......even if it is just to lend a a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, really listen to the message they want to communicate.
Sometimes listening means understanding what the words aren't really saying but rather what the other person is trying to express. We can't always do anything about the problem but we can always make time to just be there for them and sometimes that is all the other person wants or needs at that particular moment.
In years past I've suffered from depression and learned to talk about the things that bother me with a therapist and a few close friends. It was the hardest thing I've ever done as I'm one of those guys grew up in a house where boys were told it's not manly to express emotions.
I learned to compartmentalize my feelings at a very young age in order to avoid being mocked and not really deal with them. This led me to suffer from severe bouts of self doubt and extremely low self esteem, so much so that at one point I stood on the edge of the abyss and contemplated just stepping off into the darkness once and for all.
But for the memory of my high school friend Kelly and all she suffered from her own mothers suicide I might have really done the unthinkable and missed out on so much life.
I've done my best to impart this on my children and as my grandson gets older he'll likely hear me telling him that not matter what is going on in his life that I'm always going to be there for him to lean on and just talk to about anything and everything he's feeling.
We can't solve all the problems we are presented but we can all be warm, decent. caring people and offer a smile, a kind word, and the opportunity for someone to talk the things they are going through. You might be surprised how much it may help someone, someone you might not have even realized was on the edge at that moment.
I love the "Let's Talk" message but don't limit myself to following it on just one day but try and use it every single day.
My name is Marcus and I'm here if you ever just want to talk to someone.
Reach out to me at ooasm2018@gmail.com and let's talk!!!
Sunday, January 27, 2019
It's a lazy Sunday so a little of this and a little of that
Sunday, January 27/19
So it's just a lazy Sunday at my place as the son has to work today, one of his last shifts for the job, and I'm just back from getting a few things at the grocery store. Kanata Centrum Loblaw's to be exact and I still haven't managed to bump shopping carts in the produce section with any interesting females lol
I have a blog entry all written, edited, and ready to post but have to keep it on hold for the next little while as there are somethings going on in my life that could be impacted by it that I'd rather see come to fruition before addressing them on here so please be patient. I know that is kind of silly to ask since you've have never known about this blog entry if I hadn't just mentioned it right? Silly rabbit!
So here are some random thoughts and/or observations that I've had over the past week or so, in no particular order............
After having dealt with some real interesting characters lately in my life I can completely understand why Noah only took paired animals on the ark.....
Why do people think it okay to walk behind a car that is backing up out of a parking spot? I mean I've had people walk right behind me as I've been backing to the extent that that literally took extra steps to walk behind my car after being 2 or more car lengths away.........
If an ice tray pops in the freezer but nobody is in the house, does it make a sound?
Not all things old are good and not all things new are bad, I'm just putting that one out there for thought
When did being vegan give anyone the right to belittle another person?
Neither the Liberals or Conservatives can brag as one has Justin Trudeau making Canada a laughing stock around the world and the other has Doug Ford trashing Ontario and dragging the provincial education system back into the 80's
Someone once commented that maybe my golfing so much was the reason I was single and unable to attract the attention of a female. I counter that I only golf that much because I'm single and need something to fill all my free time
Kissing is the best form of foreplay and should be practiced as often as possible
There are approximately four people who read this blog who know what I look like and only one has pictures of me but hopefully won't ever post any of them, I do my best to stay on her good side :-)
I'm a righty that thinks more like a lefty
I'll take Rom-Com for $800 Alex
Currently my favorite beer is "Big Wave" by the Kona Brewery in Hawaii. Yes, I've moved on from the ciders to real beer these days, aren't you all proud of me for growing up?
I've never faked an orgasm.
I'm researching making a trip to England this year. Yes, it will include a visit to Manchester to see Old Trafford and hopefully a ManU game. Additionally, I want to take the train down to London and see some sights. It's about time I visit that side of my heritage. Any suggestions on places to see?
If you could invite one person from history to share a meal with who would you choose and why? I lean towards Napoleon at this moment as I'd love to understand his vision for Europe.
My daughter was shocked to hear I've dated outside my race and that made me laugh. I had to endure a game of 20 questions about my dating history over dinner on Friday.
Special thanks to Leela and Wanda for the really kind emails about Moki. She is doing super good and we are enjoying as much time with her as we are being granted.
I still believe it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
Sometimes providing a shoulder to lean on is all you need to do to help someone, we don't always have to solve the problem, but being there to listen to them is just as important.
Words and actions can be forgiven but they are rarely forgotten.
My name is Marcus and most days I have my shit together than some days I just fake my way through it.
Today's musical suggestion is a little bit country - "Girl" by Maren Morris
YouTube video can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0vXCY-h9ks
As always, comments and questions are more than welcome: ooasm2018@gmail.com
So it's just a lazy Sunday at my place as the son has to work today, one of his last shifts for the job, and I'm just back from getting a few things at the grocery store. Kanata Centrum Loblaw's to be exact and I still haven't managed to bump shopping carts in the produce section with any interesting females lol
I have a blog entry all written, edited, and ready to post but have to keep it on hold for the next little while as there are somethings going on in my life that could be impacted by it that I'd rather see come to fruition before addressing them on here so please be patient. I know that is kind of silly to ask since you've have never known about this blog entry if I hadn't just mentioned it right? Silly rabbit!
So here are some random thoughts and/or observations that I've had over the past week or so, in no particular order............
After having dealt with some real interesting characters lately in my life I can completely understand why Noah only took paired animals on the ark.....
Why do people think it okay to walk behind a car that is backing up out of a parking spot? I mean I've had people walk right behind me as I've been backing to the extent that that literally took extra steps to walk behind my car after being 2 or more car lengths away.........
If an ice tray pops in the freezer but nobody is in the house, does it make a sound?
Not all things old are good and not all things new are bad, I'm just putting that one out there for thought
When did being vegan give anyone the right to belittle another person?
Neither the Liberals or Conservatives can brag as one has Justin Trudeau making Canada a laughing stock around the world and the other has Doug Ford trashing Ontario and dragging the provincial education system back into the 80's
Someone once commented that maybe my golfing so much was the reason I was single and unable to attract the attention of a female. I counter that I only golf that much because I'm single and need something to fill all my free time
Kissing is the best form of foreplay and should be practiced as often as possible
There are approximately four people who read this blog who know what I look like and only one has pictures of me but hopefully won't ever post any of them, I do my best to stay on her good side :-)
I'm a righty that thinks more like a lefty
I'll take Rom-Com for $800 Alex
Currently my favorite beer is "Big Wave" by the Kona Brewery in Hawaii. Yes, I've moved on from the ciders to real beer these days, aren't you all proud of me for growing up?
I've never faked an orgasm.
I'm researching making a trip to England this year. Yes, it will include a visit to Manchester to see Old Trafford and hopefully a ManU game. Additionally, I want to take the train down to London and see some sights. It's about time I visit that side of my heritage. Any suggestions on places to see?
If you could invite one person from history to share a meal with who would you choose and why? I lean towards Napoleon at this moment as I'd love to understand his vision for Europe.
My daughter was shocked to hear I've dated outside my race and that made me laugh. I had to endure a game of 20 questions about my dating history over dinner on Friday.
Special thanks to Leela and Wanda for the really kind emails about Moki. She is doing super good and we are enjoying as much time with her as we are being granted.
I still believe it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
Sometimes providing a shoulder to lean on is all you need to do to help someone, we don't always have to solve the problem, but being there to listen to them is just as important.
Words and actions can be forgiven but they are rarely forgotten.
My name is Marcus and most days I have my shit together than some days I just fake my way through it.
Today's musical suggestion is a little bit country - "Girl" by Maren Morris
YouTube video can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0vXCY-h9ks
As always, comments and questions are more than welcome: ooasm2018@gmail.com
Monday, January 14, 2019
Moki.......
Monday, January 14/19
So Moki was feeling lethargic and had swollen lymph nodes in her neck 2 weeks ago and my son and I took her to the vet to see what was going on.
The vet aspirated them and sent the results off to be tested with the hope it was going to come back showing a viral infection that we could have treated.
Well January 4th I got the call that her symptoms were lymphoma and there was nothing that could be done about it. Initial prognosis is between 6-12 months if everything goes well and more likely 3-6 months. I really couldn't talk to the vet and had to hang up and I just can't imagine not having my little pupper in my life.
I sat on the couch and held her in my arms and balled my eyes out and I'm pretty sure I was howling like a maniac as it woke my son up and he came out to see what the hell was going on. Not really a conversation I ever wanted to have with my son and one of the hardest talks we've ever had.
We sat with her and just gave her lots of love and made the decision to just love her and at the point she is no longer comfortable to make the tough call and let her go out in peace. I can honestly say that this news has hit me harder than even when I was contemplating my own cancer scare back in March.
That first weekend was all about Moki and doing things that I knew would make her tail wag with pleasure. We did a trip to PetSmart for a new stuffed toy that she can tear apart, spent Sunday down at my daughters place walking the trail at the back of her property, and she's been getting lots and lots of treats, even some scraps of people food.
I went into see the vet on Tuesday so I could better understand what to expect over the next weeks and hopefully months. One thing we decided to do was begin her on a daily dose of a corticosteroid called Prednisone that should help with the swollen nodes and make it easier for her.
By Friday I noticed her lymph nodes had almost returned to normal and she seemed to have regained her appetite. I know it's not a cure but anything helps and I'll gladly deal with it as long as possible.
I have a list of things to look out for and will be talking to our vet often to make sure we are doing the best for her and making her as happy as possible. Sometimes she just looks at me as if to tell me things will be okay and I just break down sobbing, life seems so unfair at times as she is only half way through her expected life expectancy and now this happens.
I've had three amazing dogs in my life and each of them gave me and my families nothing but love and made us so happy.
Brishc aka Brishcollete was my first and a lovely female poodle. We got her when I was 5 and had her until my senior year of high school. She was more my mom's dog and didn't really warm up to me until I hit middle school, think I became mature enough to appreciate her at that point. But from around age 13 on that dog was all mine, she was never far from me when I was home and very protective of me, so much so that she actually once barked at a girlfriend when she went to give me a hug.
Shadow was next and we got him in 1998 on the spur of the moment when out running errands. My ex never mentioned wanting a dog but for some unknown reason we crossed paths with Shadow and he stole her heart. Shadow was a Cockapoo or Cocker Spaniel and Poodle mix with the softest light brown fur. He was my ex's dog for the longest time and when my son came around we watched with amazement as Shadow switched his affection to this little ball of blubber that had no clue he was even there. When my son was little we'd find Shadow sleeping under his crib and when he eventually started school Shadow would lay on his bed and look out the window until his school bus would go past and drop my son off at the corner, with Shadow running downstairs to wait for him by the door.
Moki rounds out the trio in her all glory. A female Schnoodle or Schnauzer Poodle mix with the sweetest disposition I've ever seen in a dog. She loves nothing more than laying next to her humans as they watch TV, read a book, or sleep. Lately she has taken a shining to my grandson and now I'm sorry he won't get to know her and her playful nature.
My daughter found Moki for us on Kajiji, my son picked her out, and I've been her daily companion now for over 7 years, some of the best times I've ever had.
I know when she meets Brishc and Shadow there are going to be some stories shared between the three of them about my son and the family. I'm sure Brishc will talk to her about me as a young lad and Shadow will tell her all about my son and what he was like as an infant.
I'm sure there will be those who read this entry wonder what all the fuss is about just a dog and that's okay for them to feel that way. They don't get it but those of us who really let our dogs and cats into our hearts understand the connection they share with us. I know she provided me serious emotional support when I was at my darkest last year and I want nothing more than to be there for her in return.
My emotions are going to be all over the place the next little while as it doesn't take too much to make me cry right now, the look of her sitting in my office chair while I write this entry has me battling tears right now, when I go to bed and she curls up into a little ball and leans into the small of my back will make me want to cry, and seeing her stretch in the morning before we head out for a walk will test my strength for sure.
I blog about my search for the one and I think I need to clarify that I have my one right now, albeit in canine form as I'm pretty sure Moki is my one given how calm she makes me feel all the time.
I was going to put the blog on hold but I've always tried to share emotions or actions that have made me happy, sad, angry, scared, and don't think this is any different. My life is being impacted by something totally out of my control that I never saw coming and it sucks in the worst possible ways.
My name is Marcus and I'm owned by a wonderful little pupper named Moki.
My goal is to be the human she thinks I am and to be worthy of her unconditional love........
Thoughts, comments, and questions are always welcome - ooasm2018@gmail.com
So Moki was feeling lethargic and had swollen lymph nodes in her neck 2 weeks ago and my son and I took her to the vet to see what was going on.
The vet aspirated them and sent the results off to be tested with the hope it was going to come back showing a viral infection that we could have treated.
Well January 4th I got the call that her symptoms were lymphoma and there was nothing that could be done about it. Initial prognosis is between 6-12 months if everything goes well and more likely 3-6 months. I really couldn't talk to the vet and had to hang up and I just can't imagine not having my little pupper in my life.
I sat on the couch and held her in my arms and balled my eyes out and I'm pretty sure I was howling like a maniac as it woke my son up and he came out to see what the hell was going on. Not really a conversation I ever wanted to have with my son and one of the hardest talks we've ever had.
We sat with her and just gave her lots of love and made the decision to just love her and at the point she is no longer comfortable to make the tough call and let her go out in peace. I can honestly say that this news has hit me harder than even when I was contemplating my own cancer scare back in March.
That first weekend was all about Moki and doing things that I knew would make her tail wag with pleasure. We did a trip to PetSmart for a new stuffed toy that she can tear apart, spent Sunday down at my daughters place walking the trail at the back of her property, and she's been getting lots and lots of treats, even some scraps of people food.
I went into see the vet on Tuesday so I could better understand what to expect over the next weeks and hopefully months. One thing we decided to do was begin her on a daily dose of a corticosteroid called Prednisone that should help with the swollen nodes and make it easier for her.
By Friday I noticed her lymph nodes had almost returned to normal and she seemed to have regained her appetite. I know it's not a cure but anything helps and I'll gladly deal with it as long as possible.
I have a list of things to look out for and will be talking to our vet often to make sure we are doing the best for her and making her as happy as possible. Sometimes she just looks at me as if to tell me things will be okay and I just break down sobbing, life seems so unfair at times as she is only half way through her expected life expectancy and now this happens.
I've had three amazing dogs in my life and each of them gave me and my families nothing but love and made us so happy.
Brishc aka Brishcollete was my first and a lovely female poodle. We got her when I was 5 and had her until my senior year of high school. She was more my mom's dog and didn't really warm up to me until I hit middle school, think I became mature enough to appreciate her at that point. But from around age 13 on that dog was all mine, she was never far from me when I was home and very protective of me, so much so that she actually once barked at a girlfriend when she went to give me a hug.
Shadow was next and we got him in 1998 on the spur of the moment when out running errands. My ex never mentioned wanting a dog but for some unknown reason we crossed paths with Shadow and he stole her heart. Shadow was a Cockapoo or Cocker Spaniel and Poodle mix with the softest light brown fur. He was my ex's dog for the longest time and when my son came around we watched with amazement as Shadow switched his affection to this little ball of blubber that had no clue he was even there. When my son was little we'd find Shadow sleeping under his crib and when he eventually started school Shadow would lay on his bed and look out the window until his school bus would go past and drop my son off at the corner, with Shadow running downstairs to wait for him by the door.
Moki rounds out the trio in her all glory. A female Schnoodle or Schnauzer Poodle mix with the sweetest disposition I've ever seen in a dog. She loves nothing more than laying next to her humans as they watch TV, read a book, or sleep. Lately she has taken a shining to my grandson and now I'm sorry he won't get to know her and her playful nature.
My daughter found Moki for us on Kajiji, my son picked her out, and I've been her daily companion now for over 7 years, some of the best times I've ever had.
I know when she meets Brishc and Shadow there are going to be some stories shared between the three of them about my son and the family. I'm sure Brishc will talk to her about me as a young lad and Shadow will tell her all about my son and what he was like as an infant.
I'm sure there will be those who read this entry wonder what all the fuss is about just a dog and that's okay for them to feel that way. They don't get it but those of us who really let our dogs and cats into our hearts understand the connection they share with us. I know she provided me serious emotional support when I was at my darkest last year and I want nothing more than to be there for her in return.
My emotions are going to be all over the place the next little while as it doesn't take too much to make me cry right now, the look of her sitting in my office chair while I write this entry has me battling tears right now, when I go to bed and she curls up into a little ball and leans into the small of my back will make me want to cry, and seeing her stretch in the morning before we head out for a walk will test my strength for sure.
I blog about my search for the one and I think I need to clarify that I have my one right now, albeit in canine form as I'm pretty sure Moki is my one given how calm she makes me feel all the time.
I was going to put the blog on hold but I've always tried to share emotions or actions that have made me happy, sad, angry, scared, and don't think this is any different. My life is being impacted by something totally out of my control that I never saw coming and it sucks in the worst possible ways.
My name is Marcus and I'm owned by a wonderful little pupper named Moki.
My goal is to be the human she thinks I am and to be worthy of her unconditional love........
Thoughts, comments, and questions are always welcome - ooasm2018@gmail.com
Saturday, January 5, 2019
On a Hiatus
Saturday, January 05/19
I received some crushing news Friday that I'm trying to deal with and think it wise I take a little break from the blog for now.
The news isn't about my health but rather concerns Moki the Wonder Puppy and has left both my son and I devastated to our cores.
Please keep us and our amazing pupper in your thoughts.
#NotJustAPupperButPartoftheFamily
#Moki4Life
2019 is so not starting as I had hoped............
Marcus
I received some crushing news Friday that I'm trying to deal with and think it wise I take a little break from the blog for now.
The news isn't about my health but rather concerns Moki the Wonder Puppy and has left both my son and I devastated to our cores.
Please keep us and our amazing pupper in your thoughts.
#NotJustAPupperButPartoftheFamily
#Moki4Life
2019 is so not starting as I had hoped............
Marcus
Monday, December 31, 2018
Happy New Years!!!!
December 31, 2018
I would like to wish each of you a Very Happy New Years!!!
My hope is that as you look back on 2018 you feel that it was good to you and that 2019 brings you nothing but peace, love, health, and contentment.
My year had both lows and highs, to be expected and really probably not much different from what most of you experienced, although those things that may have been a low or a high might differ between us.
My low was the health scare and side affects I experienced from the treatment.
My highs were many and far outweighed the low.........
My daughter got married in January and I had the pleasure of walking her down the aisle.
My son survived his first year of university and earned excellent grades, not that his mother or I thought he'd do otherwise but it was nice for his self confidence nonetheless.
Getting the news that my tumor was benign and I wouldn't have to undergo any more chemotherapy
My son golfing with me for the first time in over 10 years on my birthday
Shooting my first round of sub 88 golf on the next to last round of the year.
Being part of the winning team at the work golf tournament
Realizing I wasn't happy with my life and having the courage to make some changes that I hope bring me some equilibrium and a more grounded sense of happiness.
Starting to put myself back out into the dating world once again..............
I was asked what my New Years resolutions are for 2019 and I don't have any.
For me resolutions are about as useful as celebrating Valentines Day............I have no need for either as I'm mature enough and in tune with my own feelings to know I can create an arbitrary list of things I want to accomplish at any point in the year, that the first day of the new year is as critical to this process as discovering the secrets behind cold fusion.
I have the same opinion about Valentines Day......the single most pressure filled day to be a guy in a relationship. Why is there is so much pressure to show your partner how much you love them on this one predetermined day? Does that mean they get a free pass the the day before or the day after? Why can't we celebrate the love every day in our own special ways? I don't think I was ever remiss in letting my partner know how much she meant to me or how much I cared for her. Heck, if any of the women I've dated feel differently please reach out and let me know as I'm all about improving myself in every way possible.
Okay, reading the last paragraph has me thinking I might have gotten a little off topic and I apologize but promise to revisit this rant a little farther into the year when it's more appropriate.
So, no resolutions will be made by me come the strike of the clock at midnight.
Tonight I'll be home with Moki watching a movie, enjoying a cold pint of beer, and thinking a little bit about what might have been. This has been my norm for the last few years and one I've sort of grown accustomed to over time.
2014 was the last time I really celebrated New Years Eve and it was with friends of a very special friend, one of the best I can remember sharing with someone.
Snow and freezing rain are in the forecast tonight so please be careful out there wherever you might find yourself. My son is working until 11 pm and then heading to a house party with some friends, but he knows I'm only a call away should he need me, though I've gotten assurances they have a designated driver all set up, one of the group is Muslim and doesn't drink at all.
My name is Marcus and I'm hoping 2019 is the year I can change the title of this blog once and for all as maybe I'll finally meet my one and experience my last first kiss.............
Not sure I can really name the perfect song for tonight but lets give "Someone like You" by Adele a try and see how things turn out for us and we'll reconnect next year :-)
As always comments, questions, or complaints can be sent my way via ooasm2018@gmail.com and I promise to reply to all emails.
H A P P Y N E W Y E A R S !!!!!!!
I would like to wish each of you a Very Happy New Years!!!
My hope is that as you look back on 2018 you feel that it was good to you and that 2019 brings you nothing but peace, love, health, and contentment.
My year had both lows and highs, to be expected and really probably not much different from what most of you experienced, although those things that may have been a low or a high might differ between us.
My low was the health scare and side affects I experienced from the treatment.
My highs were many and far outweighed the low.........
My daughter got married in January and I had the pleasure of walking her down the aisle.
My son survived his first year of university and earned excellent grades, not that his mother or I thought he'd do otherwise but it was nice for his self confidence nonetheless.
Getting the news that my tumor was benign and I wouldn't have to undergo any more chemotherapy
My son golfing with me for the first time in over 10 years on my birthday
Shooting my first round of sub 88 golf on the next to last round of the year.
Being part of the winning team at the work golf tournament
Realizing I wasn't happy with my life and having the courage to make some changes that I hope bring me some equilibrium and a more grounded sense of happiness.
Starting to put myself back out into the dating world once again..............
I was asked what my New Years resolutions are for 2019 and I don't have any.
For me resolutions are about as useful as celebrating Valentines Day............I have no need for either as I'm mature enough and in tune with my own feelings to know I can create an arbitrary list of things I want to accomplish at any point in the year, that the first day of the new year is as critical to this process as discovering the secrets behind cold fusion.
I have the same opinion about Valentines Day......the single most pressure filled day to be a guy in a relationship. Why is there is so much pressure to show your partner how much you love them on this one predetermined day? Does that mean they get a free pass the the day before or the day after? Why can't we celebrate the love every day in our own special ways? I don't think I was ever remiss in letting my partner know how much she meant to me or how much I cared for her. Heck, if any of the women I've dated feel differently please reach out and let me know as I'm all about improving myself in every way possible.
Okay, reading the last paragraph has me thinking I might have gotten a little off topic and I apologize but promise to revisit this rant a little farther into the year when it's more appropriate.
So, no resolutions will be made by me come the strike of the clock at midnight.
Tonight I'll be home with Moki watching a movie, enjoying a cold pint of beer, and thinking a little bit about what might have been. This has been my norm for the last few years and one I've sort of grown accustomed to over time.
2014 was the last time I really celebrated New Years Eve and it was with friends of a very special friend, one of the best I can remember sharing with someone.
Snow and freezing rain are in the forecast tonight so please be careful out there wherever you might find yourself. My son is working until 11 pm and then heading to a house party with some friends, but he knows I'm only a call away should he need me, though I've gotten assurances they have a designated driver all set up, one of the group is Muslim and doesn't drink at all.
My name is Marcus and I'm hoping 2019 is the year I can change the title of this blog once and for all as maybe I'll finally meet my one and experience my last first kiss.............
Not sure I can really name the perfect song for tonight but lets give "Someone like You" by Adele a try and see how things turn out for us and we'll reconnect next year :-)
As always comments, questions, or complaints can be sent my way via ooasm2018@gmail.com and I promise to reply to all emails.
Tuesday, December 25, 2018
Merry Christmas
Tuesday, December 25/18
I'm just home from midnight mass at St. Patrick's Parish in Fallowfield and wanted to take a quick moment to wish everyone a Merry Christmas before turning in for a rest as today will be a busy one with family and friends.
I'd also like to wish my mom a Happy Birthday as she would have been 81 today, you left us far too early mom but I know you are watching out over everyone and I'm sure you are enjoying seeing how quickly your great grandson Jack is growing each day.
Peace on earth to each of you.
My name is Marcus and I want nothing more than health and happiness for one and all this holiday season and into the new year.
Today's musical suggestion is a tie between Christmas Canon by Trans-Siberian Orchestra and Carol of the Bells by David Foster.
YouTube links are here:
Christmas Canon - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cP26ndrmtg
Carol of the Bells - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcp3_VdL80s
I'm just home from midnight mass at St. Patrick's Parish in Fallowfield and wanted to take a quick moment to wish everyone a Merry Christmas before turning in for a rest as today will be a busy one with family and friends.
I'd also like to wish my mom a Happy Birthday as she would have been 81 today, you left us far too early mom but I know you are watching out over everyone and I'm sure you are enjoying seeing how quickly your great grandson Jack is growing each day.
Peace on earth to each of you.
My name is Marcus and I want nothing more than health and happiness for one and all this holiday season and into the new year.
Today's musical suggestion is a tie between Christmas Canon by Trans-Siberian Orchestra and Carol of the Bells by David Foster.
YouTube links are here:
Christmas Canon - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cP26ndrmtg
Carol of the Bells - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcp3_VdL80s
Monday, December 24, 2018
Twas the night before Christmas
Monday, December 24/18
I spent the day running some last minute errands, tidying up around the house, and wrapping a few gifts in anticipation of tomorrow's family gathering at my daughters new place.
One tradition I've always enjoyed over the years was the reading of a "Twas the night before Christmas" so I thought I'd share it all of you as the time fast approaches the striking hour of midnight here in Canada and may have actually already struck where you are depending on your location.
Please enjoy and remember that the warm feelings we share over the holidays can easily carried forward into our day to day lives in the coming year......
I spent the day running some last minute errands, tidying up around the house, and wrapping a few gifts in anticipation of tomorrow's family gathering at my daughters new place.
One tradition I've always enjoyed over the years was the reading of a "Twas the night before Christmas" so I thought I'd share it all of you as the time fast approaches the striking hour of midnight here in Canada and may have actually already struck where you are depending on your location.
Please enjoy and remember that the warm feelings we share over the holidays can easily carried forward into our day to day lives in the coming year......
Twas the Night Before Christmas
by Clement Clarke Moore
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.
And Mama in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.
When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutter, and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
gave the lustre of midday to objects below,
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came,
and he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Dasher! Now Dancer!
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid!
On, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch!
To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
so up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
with the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
My name is Marcus and from my family to yours "Merry Christmas"
Friday, December 21, 2018
Happy Holiday's
Friday, December 21/18
Today unofficially marks the start of the winter holiday season for many people and I wanted to take this moment to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and hope you have a great New Years as well.
For those of you who don't celebrate Christmas as I do than let me just wish you happy holiday's as we all share something in common regardless of what we call our deity.
Love, happiness, compassion, empathy, and the desire to see those around us safe and sound would be at the top of any list a person might compile.
I'll spend my Christmas Eve attending midnight mass at St. Patrick's Church in Fallowfield, where I'll reflect on the events of the last year and those who are part of my circle of family and friends.
I imagine I'll think of the one and say a silent prayer in thanks for the time we shared and hope all is well with her own family.
I'll think of my grandson and all the joy that little boy has brought into my life and my determination to be there for many more Christmas's to come so I can relive those magical moments through his eyes, to watch him continue to develop the special bond he has with his uncle, and watch how my daughter dotes over him as I once did over her.
There are a lot of thoughts going through my head as we come to final days of 2018 and I'm sure a blog entry will becoming up to share some of them with all of you.
But for now let me just say this..........
Enjoy these moments with family and friends, try as best you can to embrace those around you with nothing more in your heart than love and forgiveness, let go of any anger, resentment, or jealousy you might have as they only act as a poison upon your soul.
Be free of that which makes you less than you deserve to be.....
I know that us easier sad than done sometimes but always remember that you do not walk this world alone for you are loved by someone around you, even if you don't or can't recognize it, for inside each of us resides the heart of a good person.
My name is Marcus and I want nothing more for Christmas than for each of you to be loved and thought of with warm thoughts.
Today's musical suggestion is a duet from an unlikely pair - The Little Drummer Boy by Bing Crosby and David Bowie. YouTube link is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9kfdEyV3RQ
Comments, questions or complaints can be sent my way via ooasm2018@gmail.com and I promise to reply to all emails.
Today unofficially marks the start of the winter holiday season for many people and I wanted to take this moment to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and hope you have a great New Years as well.
For those of you who don't celebrate Christmas as I do than let me just wish you happy holiday's as we all share something in common regardless of what we call our deity.
Love, happiness, compassion, empathy, and the desire to see those around us safe and sound would be at the top of any list a person might compile.
I'll spend my Christmas Eve attending midnight mass at St. Patrick's Church in Fallowfield, where I'll reflect on the events of the last year and those who are part of my circle of family and friends.
I imagine I'll think of the one and say a silent prayer in thanks for the time we shared and hope all is well with her own family.
I'll think of my grandson and all the joy that little boy has brought into my life and my determination to be there for many more Christmas's to come so I can relive those magical moments through his eyes, to watch him continue to develop the special bond he has with his uncle, and watch how my daughter dotes over him as I once did over her.
There are a lot of thoughts going through my head as we come to final days of 2018 and I'm sure a blog entry will becoming up to share some of them with all of you.
But for now let me just say this..........
Enjoy these moments with family and friends, try as best you can to embrace those around you with nothing more in your heart than love and forgiveness, let go of any anger, resentment, or jealousy you might have as they only act as a poison upon your soul.
Be free of that which makes you less than you deserve to be.....
I know that us easier sad than done sometimes but always remember that you do not walk this world alone for you are loved by someone around you, even if you don't or can't recognize it, for inside each of us resides the heart of a good person.
My name is Marcus and I want nothing more for Christmas than for each of you to be loved and thought of with warm thoughts.
Today's musical suggestion is a duet from an unlikely pair - The Little Drummer Boy by Bing Crosby and David Bowie. YouTube link is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9kfdEyV3RQ
Comments, questions or complaints can be sent my way via ooasm2018@gmail.com and I promise to reply to all emails.
Thursday, December 20, 2018
Ask for Angela!!!
Thursday, December 20/18
I came across an interesting story on my Facebook feed and thought I'd share it with you.
There is a system that has been slowly gaining ground in the United Kingdom, and making it way across the pond to Canada and the U.S., where if a woman feels threatened while on a date she can approach a member of a restaurant or pub and simply ask for Angela. This is code to let the employee know that the woman doesn't feel safe and they are to move her to a position of safety, whether it is via a bouncer or other wait staff, and call the authorities.
It's as simple as going up to the bartender and asking "Is Angela working tonight?"
I'm literally of two emotions about this system.
I'm happy that it is in place and from the sounds of things it has done a wonderful job of getting some women out of what could have been a dangerous situation.
On the other hand I'm more than disgusted that we need this system in the first place and wonder where we went wrong as a society that men could even think that acting this way towards women is even the least bit acceptable.
Some of the stories I've read around this make me wonder if my gender can really be that fucking dumb and clueless, guys getting mad at the woman for causing a scene after they'd been verbally or physically abusive, or if I'm just the one who is so stupid and clueless he can't see today's environment for the mine field is has become for women.
I remember having a conversation with my son a few years back when he started dating where I sat him down to have the talk and he sort of rolled his eyes at me as if I was a day late and a dollar short.
As I watched him roll his eyes I just looked him in the eye and said it wasn't that kind of talk. This talk was about how to treat a lady and if I ever heard one word that he'd been disrespectful than there would be hell to pay.
I remember him looking at me and telling me that if he ever acted that way he didn't fear facing the young ladies father nor his own mother as much as the last person he'd have to face. I was sort of confused and asked him who that was and he looked at me and said "You, as you've always tried to teach me how to be a man and if I did something so horrible as to upset my date than I don't think I'd ever be able to look you in the eyes again dad"
Pretty much knew at that point that if I never did anything else in my life to help mold him into a man than I'd already done enough with him feeling that way about being respectful and protective of any woman he was with.
I hope none of you are ever made to feel threatened or afraid for your safety but should you experience just such a moment I beg you to "Ask for Angela" and don't allow yourself to be treated as anything less than the wonderful person that you are. I say that not only as the father of a woman but as the father of a young man who has been raised to treat not only women but all others with respect and dignity.
My name is Marcus and we should all take any steps necessary to ensure the safety of those around us.
No musical suggestion with this blog entry as I don't think one would be appropriate given the topic.
Thoughts or comments can me directed my way at: ooasm2018@gmail.com
I came across an interesting story on my Facebook feed and thought I'd share it with you.
There is a system that has been slowly gaining ground in the United Kingdom, and making it way across the pond to Canada and the U.S., where if a woman feels threatened while on a date she can approach a member of a restaurant or pub and simply ask for Angela. This is code to let the employee know that the woman doesn't feel safe and they are to move her to a position of safety, whether it is via a bouncer or other wait staff, and call the authorities.
It's as simple as going up to the bartender and asking "Is Angela working tonight?"
I'm literally of two emotions about this system.
I'm happy that it is in place and from the sounds of things it has done a wonderful job of getting some women out of what could have been a dangerous situation.
On the other hand I'm more than disgusted that we need this system in the first place and wonder where we went wrong as a society that men could even think that acting this way towards women is even the least bit acceptable.
Some of the stories I've read around this make me wonder if my gender can really be that fucking dumb and clueless, guys getting mad at the woman for causing a scene after they'd been verbally or physically abusive, or if I'm just the one who is so stupid and clueless he can't see today's environment for the mine field is has become for women.
I remember having a conversation with my son a few years back when he started dating where I sat him down to have the talk and he sort of rolled his eyes at me as if I was a day late and a dollar short.
As I watched him roll his eyes I just looked him in the eye and said it wasn't that kind of talk. This talk was about how to treat a lady and if I ever heard one word that he'd been disrespectful than there would be hell to pay.
I remember him looking at me and telling me that if he ever acted that way he didn't fear facing the young ladies father nor his own mother as much as the last person he'd have to face. I was sort of confused and asked him who that was and he looked at me and said "You, as you've always tried to teach me how to be a man and if I did something so horrible as to upset my date than I don't think I'd ever be able to look you in the eyes again dad"
Pretty much knew at that point that if I never did anything else in my life to help mold him into a man than I'd already done enough with him feeling that way about being respectful and protective of any woman he was with.
I hope none of you are ever made to feel threatened or afraid for your safety but should you experience just such a moment I beg you to "Ask for Angela" and don't allow yourself to be treated as anything less than the wonderful person that you are. I say that not only as the father of a woman but as the father of a young man who has been raised to treat not only women but all others with respect and dignity.
My name is Marcus and we should all take any steps necessary to ensure the safety of those around us.
No musical suggestion with this blog entry as I don't think one would be appropriate given the topic.
Thoughts or comments can me directed my way at: ooasm2018@gmail.com
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
White or Red?
Tuesday, December 18/18
So I had my daughter and her family over for dinner tonight and my son-in-law asked if I had any wine in the house and I pointed in the direction of the fridge and to the corner of the dining room where there is a wine rack as well.
The fridge has a couple of bottles of Pinot Grigio chilling and there are a couple of red's in the wine rack. Now he loves a good red, one reason he gets along so well with his mother-in-law lol, but I'm more partial to a cold white any day of the week.
I think my preference comes from just my initial experiences with wine and how the first red I ever had was at room temperature and thus didn't do anything to quench my thirst at the time, whereas the first white was chilled and just did the trick.
Now I don't drink all that much, if we ignore my week in Mexico back in January and the week in Jamaica back in 2015, so I don't pretend to be an expert and try and offer up advice or reviews on the different varietals for either reds or whites, but I do know what I like and tend to stick with it for the long term.
My appreciation for a nice Pinot Grigio came courtesy of my time with Corinna as she liked a glass at night with some cheese or a sliced up baguette, a trend I've continued the last few years.
No, I'm not much of a drinker but lately I've started to try different beers as I do like to experiment along those lines, for a little while it was all cider based ales like Somersby and Strong Bow, with recent trend towards Big Wave Pale Ale from Hawaii, my son is partial to that one and I have to remind him whose beer it is or they go quickly from the fridge.
I've heard that some people put ice cubes in a red but I worry that would dilute the flavour too much and make me look like a total rube.......
So for now I'll be sticking with the Pinot but wonder what wines you enjoy and would recommend or pair with certain meals??
My name is Marcus and I'll never buy wine in a box but I won't raise my nose upwards if you do as we like what we like.
Today's musical suggestion is "Flash" by Queen. A little retro to the movie that Queen scored :)
Questions & comments can me directed to me at: ooasm2018@gmail.com
So I had my daughter and her family over for dinner tonight and my son-in-law asked if I had any wine in the house and I pointed in the direction of the fridge and to the corner of the dining room where there is a wine rack as well.
The fridge has a couple of bottles of Pinot Grigio chilling and there are a couple of red's in the wine rack. Now he loves a good red, one reason he gets along so well with his mother-in-law lol, but I'm more partial to a cold white any day of the week.
I think my preference comes from just my initial experiences with wine and how the first red I ever had was at room temperature and thus didn't do anything to quench my thirst at the time, whereas the first white was chilled and just did the trick.
Now I don't drink all that much, if we ignore my week in Mexico back in January and the week in Jamaica back in 2015, so I don't pretend to be an expert and try and offer up advice or reviews on the different varietals for either reds or whites, but I do know what I like and tend to stick with it for the long term.
My appreciation for a nice Pinot Grigio came courtesy of my time with Corinna as she liked a glass at night with some cheese or a sliced up baguette, a trend I've continued the last few years.
No, I'm not much of a drinker but lately I've started to try different beers as I do like to experiment along those lines, for a little while it was all cider based ales like Somersby and Strong Bow, with recent trend towards Big Wave Pale Ale from Hawaii, my son is partial to that one and I have to remind him whose beer it is or they go quickly from the fridge.
I've heard that some people put ice cubes in a red but I worry that would dilute the flavour too much and make me look like a total rube.......
So for now I'll be sticking with the Pinot but wonder what wines you enjoy and would recommend or pair with certain meals??
My name is Marcus and I'll never buy wine in a box but I won't raise my nose upwards if you do as we like what we like.
Today's musical suggestion is "Flash" by Queen. A little retro to the movie that Queen scored :)
Questions & comments can me directed to me at: ooasm2018@gmail.com
Saturday, December 15, 2018
Relationships........
Saturday, December 15/18
Many people think of relationships in terms of the physical intimacy that two people can have with one another and that is part of the package for sure.
When I think of a relationship it tends to transcend past the purely physical and be more all encompassing.
Now I know there are a few of you asking how anything can be more encompassing than the physical connection two people can share when they are naked under the covers doing what people do in such situations but there are far more ways to be totally in love with someone than just the mere sight of them exposed to your lustful gaze.
The overwhelming pleasure of being with someone isn't just the actual affection you share, sex, and companionship. It's the silent permission you've exchanged through a glance to reach out and brush your hand against her cheek, softly push a loose strand of hair back behind her ear, to thread your fingers through hers as you walk through a store, to snuggle on a couch and softly kiss the side of her neck.
The unspoken desire to send a flirty text at 2:30 in the afternoon letting her know you've thought of her and it made you smile, the picture you take of something you see while out that you just know she'll laugh at when she sees it come across her phone from you, it's getting up early on a Sunday and getting her coffee to start her day off right, it's wandering around the LCBO trying to find that Pinot Grigio that she just loves to have a glass of at the end of the day with some cheese that makes her feel happy and loved.
It's the scent of her perfume lingering in your bedroom days after she's spent the night.
It is being willing to try new things and new ways of preparing food.
It's each of you having your own opinion, being strong enough in your feelings to not let the other steam roll you but also taking the time to hear what they are saying and not belittling that opinion.
Don't get me wrong........there is nothing wrong with hot lust filled moments as those are pretty damn good in my book.......but those moments don't constitute all that a relationship is made of.....not in a long shot.....not to this guy
My name is Marcus and my understanding of what makes me happy in a relationship has evolved so much over time and will hopefully continue to evolve when I bump into my one.
Today's musical suggestion is "What's My Age Again?" by Blink 182 Original video was kind of cool and the remake incorporates some of the same scenes talking account the change in years.
On a side note........if you'd like to tell me what's going on with you or provide some feedback on a blog entry you can now do so by emailing me at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Many people think of relationships in terms of the physical intimacy that two people can have with one another and that is part of the package for sure.
When I think of a relationship it tends to transcend past the purely physical and be more all encompassing.
Now I know there are a few of you asking how anything can be more encompassing than the physical connection two people can share when they are naked under the covers doing what people do in such situations but there are far more ways to be totally in love with someone than just the mere sight of them exposed to your lustful gaze.
The overwhelming pleasure of being with someone isn't just the actual affection you share, sex, and companionship. It's the silent permission you've exchanged through a glance to reach out and brush your hand against her cheek, softly push a loose strand of hair back behind her ear, to thread your fingers through hers as you walk through a store, to snuggle on a couch and softly kiss the side of her neck.
The unspoken desire to send a flirty text at 2:30 in the afternoon letting her know you've thought of her and it made you smile, the picture you take of something you see while out that you just know she'll laugh at when she sees it come across her phone from you, it's getting up early on a Sunday and getting her coffee to start her day off right, it's wandering around the LCBO trying to find that Pinot Grigio that she just loves to have a glass of at the end of the day with some cheese that makes her feel happy and loved.
It's the scent of her perfume lingering in your bedroom days after she's spent the night.
It is being willing to try new things and new ways of preparing food.
It's each of you having your own opinion, being strong enough in your feelings to not let the other steam roll you but also taking the time to hear what they are saying and not belittling that opinion.
Don't get me wrong........there is nothing wrong with hot lust filled moments as those are pretty damn good in my book.......but those moments don't constitute all that a relationship is made of.....not in a long shot.....not to this guy
My name is Marcus and my understanding of what makes me happy in a relationship has evolved so much over time and will hopefully continue to evolve when I bump into my one.
Today's musical suggestion is "What's My Age Again?" by Blink 182 Original video was kind of cool and the remake incorporates some of the same scenes talking account the change in years.
On a side note........if you'd like to tell me what's going on with you or provide some feedback on a blog entry you can now do so by emailing me at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Thursday, December 13, 2018
Why do I end the blog like I do?
Thursday, December 13/18
So I was asked why I end each blog like I do, with my name and some little blurb about myself and my hope to meet the one......oh, and a musical recommendation, usually lol
When I first started out making entries about dating, being single, raising my kids, and just trying to get through life the best I could I used to add quotes from historical figures as I found some of those messages to be either thought provoking and/or representative of my emotional state at that moment in time. It sort of developed from watching One Tree Hill where every episode referenced a quote and it just stuck with me.
Over time it's morphed to include movies and now music, as both of these mediums can and have impacted how I feel about myself, what I'm hoping to accomplish, and the world around me.
I do not have one creative cell in my body but really appreciate those artists who can make me feel something, whether it be in film, books, art, or music. At one time or another each of those mediums has touched me in such a way as to leave me feeling happy, sad, despondent, elated, and most often hopeful.
Music has been the big one lately as I tend to spend my free time these days reading and researching music online.
I'm fast reaching the point where I'll be cutting out the cable TV as really neither my son or I watch it much other than some sports, both of us are more likely to be found watching NetFlix or YouTube.
There are so many good artists out there that I know it would be next to impossible for one person to discover them all by themselves and thus that is one reason I share my own findings with anyone who reads the blog, that and I hope in return to receive some suggestions from you as well.
So there is the reason I end things the way I do.
My name is Marcus and though I am single at the moment I do not consider myself alone as I've taken to trying to be more open to the world around me and the opportunities to brings me these days than I've ever been before in my life. Is that ex post proof that with age comes some wisdom?
Today's musical suggestion is "Helplessly Hoping" by Crosby & Stills & Nash
So I was asked why I end each blog like I do, with my name and some little blurb about myself and my hope to meet the one......oh, and a musical recommendation, usually lol
When I first started out making entries about dating, being single, raising my kids, and just trying to get through life the best I could I used to add quotes from historical figures as I found some of those messages to be either thought provoking and/or representative of my emotional state at that moment in time. It sort of developed from watching One Tree Hill where every episode referenced a quote and it just stuck with me.
Over time it's morphed to include movies and now music, as both of these mediums can and have impacted how I feel about myself, what I'm hoping to accomplish, and the world around me.
I do not have one creative cell in my body but really appreciate those artists who can make me feel something, whether it be in film, books, art, or music. At one time or another each of those mediums has touched me in such a way as to leave me feeling happy, sad, despondent, elated, and most often hopeful.
Music has been the big one lately as I tend to spend my free time these days reading and researching music online.
I'm fast reaching the point where I'll be cutting out the cable TV as really neither my son or I watch it much other than some sports, both of us are more likely to be found watching NetFlix or YouTube.
There are so many good artists out there that I know it would be next to impossible for one person to discover them all by themselves and thus that is one reason I share my own findings with anyone who reads the blog, that and I hope in return to receive some suggestions from you as well.
So there is the reason I end things the way I do.
My name is Marcus and though I am single at the moment I do not consider myself alone as I've taken to trying to be more open to the world around me and the opportunities to brings me these days than I've ever been before in my life. Is that ex post proof that with age comes some wisdom?
Today's musical suggestion is "Helplessly Hoping" by Crosby & Stills & Nash
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