Thank you Laura

Today's musical recommendation -> "Secrets" by One Republic

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December 16/11 - A special thank you

I'm torn between two potential posts and will mull them over at lunch and choose one to post this afternoon.

Ok, I had two topics to consider posting about. One was kind of light and fluffy, sort of a perfect feel good post to kick off the weekend. The other isn't dark and heavy but does come with some tough memories that I already battle enough as it is.

So you can guess which one I went with right?

Some of you who read the blog may be familiar with the background to this posting and apologies for making you read it again but as my friend Deborah likes to say, it is what it is :)

Two years ago my son came home from school feeling ill with what we thought was a regular run of the mill cold/virus. Little did we know that this cold was really a major sinus infection that over the course of two weeks resulted in a brain abscess that required emergency surgery @ 5am on December 5th that lasted almost 10 hours. The first week post surgery was really a blur and spent sitting with my son in the Ped's ICU as they pretty much kept him sleeping while pumping him full of antibiotics, his mom and I alternated days so one of us was with him at all times and spent the time reading to him or telling him stories. While he doesn't remember much of that week he does now and again mention the story about the prince on the journey that I spun out over those long days......

Now this posting isn't about the ordeal itself but rather about what one fellow fish on the pond did for me that to this day still makes me smile as I know I had been fast approaching my breaking point.....and what she did for me happened exactly two years ago this weekend........

Just before my son got sick I'd started chatting with a lady named Laura and she wasn't sure if she was up for anything man wise as she was going through a rather bitter breakup. She is a highly paid consultant and her ex was trying to sue her for support and as you can imagine that didn't sit well with her. This sort of worked against anything happening between us and I was ok with that as I wasn't sure what I was looking for at the time, so we kept chatting and when my son got sick I sort of dropped off the radar and wasn't on POF at all or answering any emails. Once he had stabilized and been moved to a regular room things calmed down a bit and his mom and I kept to the alternate days with him. Just made it easier with work and gave each of us a chance to step away from the hospital and tend to the everyday things life throws our way.

Laura had sent me several messages and I called her to tell her what had gone on and thanked her for checking up on me. I'm an only child so my only family is really my children as both my parents have passed so I had to deal with everything on my own and those 2+ weeks were emotionally brutal. It was a Saturday afternoon and I had just done some laundry when we started chatting and she must have sensed how frayed I was from everything as she said it was time we met and had some drinks....now I'm not a big drinker but I have to say the thought was very appealing at the moment so I agreed and we set a time to meet at the D’Arcy McGee's in Bells Corners.

Now most pubs are crowded on a Saturday night but they're even more so on a weekend in December so you can imagine how busy and loud it was for our first meeting. I was pretty nervous as she had said all the right things to get me interested and was kind of cute to boot. Well she sat down next to me at the bar and leaned over and gave me a hug and soft kiss on my cheek, smiled and told me it was time to relax. We than spent the next 3+ hours sitting at a little table just talking about anything and everything....except for the Friday when I had to take my son to CHEO and make some of the hardest decisions in my life......I think she knew I was holding back as she stood up and said it was time to leave....I was taken a little aback as I thought things were going really well and she must have seen this on my face as she laughed and said it was time for me to get drunk and since drinking and driving don't mix we had to move the party to her place. She lived like 5 minutes away so I thought to myself "why not?" and agreed. I jokingly told her that is this was some plan to get me to sleep with her it wasn't going to work as I didn't do that on a first date. She just smiled at me as we walked to the parking lot. I followed her to her place and she gave me a tour and the pride she had in it was obvious as she had done most of the remodeling herself.

We stood around her kitchen for the next several hours and went through a couple of bottles of wine, she told me she loved white wine and had a few she wanted me to try, and as the night wore on she got me talking about what had happened that fateful Friday.......I can tell you it was so hard to talk about it but in her line of work she knew that I needed to get it out and talk to someone........I told her about feeling helpless as my son had a CT scan and then an MRI, how I couldn't get a hold of his mom, how they had to call in a neurologist to review the scan, sitting there as he told me my son was going to die if they didn't operate but that the surgery could also kill him...telling me he'd leave me to think about it....me saying there wasn't anything to think about....I do nothing and he dies, I authorize surgery and there's a 50/50 chance he dies....all the while I'm facing this decision on my own........and trying to comfort my son and not letting him see the terror raging away inside me........the anger and hurt I felt at the whole situation....anger that his virus had spiraled into something so horrible, at my ex for not being there, at myself, hurt for the pain my son was in, guilt that it even happened..........

and then the tears came......for the first time since the ordeal started I let down my barriers and cried....and cried..........Laura stepped in front of me and just hugged me.......not saying a word, knowing that the silence and release of my tears were what I really needed more than anything..........

By than the wine and emotions had taken a toll on my energy so she guided me to her room and gently pushed me onto her bed, taking off my pants and shirt and pulling the comforter up.....she laid down on top of it next to me and softly stroked my hair as I fell asleep and slept the first sleep that lasted more than an hour.......

I had to be at CHEO for 9am on Sunday so when my iPhone alarm beeped at 7am I woke up with a start not recognizing where I was at first.....looking over I saw her waking up and she leaned over and softly kissed me good morning.........I explained that I had to go and hoped she understood.....she smiled and told me everything was good.......it was at that point that I realized I was only in my boxers and started to blush....looking at her I saw she was in some rather sexy pj shorts and tank top.......she laughed and said I'd been true to my word.....kind of......I had slept with her but nothing carnal had happened between us

When I got to CHEO and to my son's room both his mother and him commented on how much more relaxed I seemed. I just smiled and got settled in for another day of movies and books with my son :)

Shortly after that things heated up between Laura and her ex and she shut down dealing with men as she was feeling angry about his games.........she closed down her profile and along the way we lost touch........but to this day I'm convinced that one night saved me from losing my mind.......so every time I pass her neighborhood I smile and say a silent thank you to a wonderful woman named Laura.........

So you might be wondering what made me decide to take the hard route and the answer, as always, is centered around my son.....on the drive to school this morning he asked me if there was something wrong and I told him no, why did he ask, he responded that I looked kind of sad and I smiled and said I was just thinking back to '09.....he reached over and held my hand and said the angels looked out over us......little does he know how right he is :)

So this weekend I'm in bachelor mode and come Saturday night I'll pour a glass of wine and toast Laura and the magic she did in bringing my soul back from the brink.............

Thank you Laura and I hope with all my heart you've found someone who makes you smile like you did for me that night two years ago...........................

 

My take on God

Today's musical recommendation -> "Invisible" by Skylar Grey

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December 14/11

I have about 4 or 5 topics floating around and just haven't been able to wrap myself around one with enough passion to post anything about them yet but didn't want to go a week without an entry as I get far more messages asking where the next blog is than I ever thought I would lol

So today will be a hodge podge of stuff to consider......

You know what, ignore that last bit and let’s talk about God.

I know that isn't a topic that most people like to discuss, nor is it one that POF says you should talk about when first getting to know someone but I think that is just plain wrong. If you have a certain belief set wouldn't you want to know if the person whose profile you're interested in has some like beliefs - I know I would.

So here is my position on God and religion - I believe in God.

Pretty simple and so far so good right?

Now here comes the rub, and those of you who follow my postings knew one was coming right?......I probably don't hold the same view of God as you do.

Now many of you might be sitting there wondering what I mean so let me clarify things a little bit for you.

I'm Roman Catholic and go to church, though I'm sure not as often as my parish priest would like, and follow the tenants of the church for the most part.

Where I'm different comes into play when you understand that the church takes the position that God is all knowing and actively involved in our lives on a daily basis and this is where my problem comes up.

The church will tell you that man sins, is punished, and then forgiven. I'm ok with the theory but have a little issue with the application when it comes to certain things going on in life.

If our God is all knowing and active in our daily lives than he needs to explain to me the benefit of babies being born crack addicts, children who are permitted to be in homes where they are abused, drunk drivers getting into accidents that kill people and yet they walk away with nary a scratch, one race or religion waging genocide on another............

My take on God is he puts us here with the ability to decide things for ourselves and the hope that we can make the right choices but the one thing he isn't doing is sitting around to make sure the 7+ billion citizens of this planet are actually doing so. My God is more a hands off God who has moved onto something more important than watching to see if I went 3 miles over the speed limit.

I know my math seems off as there aren't 7+ billion Catholics but I'm one of those people who understand that we all can worship our religious deity of choice and still call him God. My God might be your Allah or your Buddha or anything else you choose to call him and I'm ok with that. I won't try and force my beliefs on you nor accept yours in order just to make you happy.

My mom had me baptized when I was born and then left me to work out my own take on religion. I often wondered why she did it that way and it dawned on me years ago that she wanted me to think for myself and not just follow the dogma as handed down from the pulpit in the Vatican. I respect her for being so understanding and have tried to do the same with my own children.

Both have gone through the Catholic board and I think they've done quite well in learning right from wrong but more importantly they've learned to listen to the gospel and then compare it against what they feel inside before taking a position on something.

My son has been told that homosexuality is a sin in the eyes of God. Yet his best friend's father is in a same sex relationship and a super dad. When my son asked me about that my response was that no one person or institution is all knowing and all you can do is listen and decide for yourself. Never take what the church says as the final word and always question what you're told. Even question what you mom and I tell you and make your choices based on how you feel. People might not agree with you but you won't be facing them in the mirror every morning...........

So now my question is..............I really don't have one today but rather hope this posting has made you think a little about how you feel about religion and your God.

 

What I learned from Charlie Brown

Today's musical recommendation -> "What's Left of Me" by Nick Lachey

What can I say; my iPod has a lot to choose from :)

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December 7/11 - The Peanuts still rock!!

I grew up reading Dr. Seuss and Charles M. Schulz and have to say that no other authors had a greater influence on me than these two gentlemen.

"Wacky Wednesday", "Cat in the Hat", and "Green Eggs & Ham" were my favourite Dr. Seuss books and luckily for me both my kids enjoyed them. They show one that being willing to think outside the box can lead to some pretty exciting times and should be a life lesson for every person who read them.

The entire cast from Charlie Brown can teach us about life and the trial and tribulations we'll all face over the course of our lives when it comes to dating and love.....

Sally Brown's unrequited love for Linus should be a lesson in perseverance for all of us.....might not end as she'd like but you've got to admire her for standing her ground and going after who she wanted :)

Lucy Van Pelt’s determination to win over Schroeder and not giving a damn that he never really responds to her attempts has to be something to bet on..........someday he'll look up from the keyboard and see the woman in front of him but until that time we can only sit back and enjoy the fireworks

Now how about the dynamics between our hero Charlie Brown and Lucy. What is really going on between them that he constantly trusts her to hold that football while he tries to kick it? What has he done behind the scenes to warrant her pulling it away at the last moment every single time?

I think the whole thing is very much like dating.......we keep trusting that the very next person we come across who makes us smile might just be the one.....we initiate something with a flirty message, or possibly a lame one if I'm the one sending it lol, and escalate to chatting via email/texts, and finally if everything works out like we hope, we do the impossible and meet for a drink.........and then the crap shoot starts as that is the point where chemistry either kicks in and releases pheromones that cause us to like the other person or not and we than strive like crazy to extricate ourselves from the situation.......

But even though we might fail over and over we always keep an open mind to the possibility......much like Charlie Brown trusts Lucy to hold the football for him......

I guess in many ways I'm like Charlie Brown when it comes to dating......I've had more than my share of footballs yanked away at the last moment but still prefer to see the opportunities than give up......I mean isn't the glass really half full more than half empty????

Now what blog about Charlie Brown would be complete if there wasn't some mention of the primary hero...Snoopy

Snoopy shows us that when we don't limit our imagination we can achieve anything........how else can you explain the brave fighter pilot who scurries through the French countryside after being shot down by the Red Baron yet taking the time to stop at a quant bistro for some wine and to chat up the cute waitress - confidence abounds in that beagle.....

 

How my son made me smile

Today's musical recommendation -> "Without  You" by David Guetta

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December 4/11 - Sometimes little things work out

Last Thursday was one of those interesting days that happen every now and again.

I was having a really bad day at work when my cell phone rang at 2:50pm with a blocked id showing. Now normally I don't answer my cell if I don't recognize the number but this was around the time my son gets out of school so something made me answer it........and lo and behold it was one of the jewels of my eye calling me to tell me he'd missed the bus home and could I come and get him since he was with me that night. I grabbed my jacket, locked my office, and just left without saying anything to anyone as I was more than a bit worried what might come out of my mouth at the moment........

Now my sons high school is literally a 5 minute drive from both my house and work, one of the key selling points of the home when I bought it, so when I got to the school and walked into the atrium to find him I could feel my anger starting to fade away.....looking up at one of the monitors arranged around the atrium I could see playing some montage of students doing a variety of activities and I paused as there was one of my son running around in gym class......the huge smile on his face and crowd of classmates around him was one of those sights all parents love to see.....I glanced across the foyer to see him sitting at a table texting someone on his cell and wondered who the lucky girl was when my phone beeped and sure enough there was a text from him telling me he was sorry for missing the bus and making me take off from work.........I whistled and he looked up and saw me and that smile flashed out once more.......we walked out to the car and I asked him how he managed to miss the bus, he laughed and said he got confused when it wasn't in the usual spot in the bus line and didn't realize where it was until it drove away, and once again said he was sorry and he hoped I wasn't too mad at him.........I told him I wasn't mad at all and he asked than why did I look mad and I explained about having a bad day at work......he smiled and said he understood as sometimes he has a bad day at school and he doesn't smile much either lol

I looked over at him and said I was actually kind of proud of him that he had lasted until December before missing the bus and that his mom and I had figured we'd have gotten a call long before today about him missing a bus to/from school......he kind of smiled and said "gee thanks for the vote of confidence".....lol

After I dropped him off at home I went back to work and on the drive there realized how different he had it from when I had to catch a bus to/from school.......I know if I'd missed the bus I'd have never heard the end of it and it dawned on me I was the exact opposite parent from my own father.........and I realized that I have been taking the tact that whenever a decision comes up that involved my kids I'd ask myself what would my own parents have done and pretty much take the exact opposite approach.....and so far my kids are turning out to be pretty awesome people.......of course we all say that and there is nothing wrong with it......

So by the time I got back to the office my mood was gone and I was able to manage the conflict that had started my bad mood in the first place......thanks to my son missing the bus......

Now I'll agree that this posting has nothing to do with dating but I don't ever remember saying each and every post would now did I?...................

What it does do is remind me how incredibly fortunate I've been to be dad to two pretty wonderful kids, kids who can make me smile even when they are doing something wrong....and in the end there is nothing wrong with that is there...........

 

Thirty Reasosn to Date Me

Today's musical recommendation -> "Not Over You" by Gavin DeGraw

When you're interested, you do what's convenient. When you're committed, you do whatever it takes!

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December 1/11 - Top 30 Reasons to Date Me

Here are 30 reasons why you should go out with me. I'm not serious, don't worry...but they are all true...I think

1. My shoelaces are hardly ever untied
2. When getting off an elevator at a 10+ story building, I don't push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor
3. I read National Geographic, and not just for the nude pictures of African gorillas
4. I don't turn into a werewolf during full moons
5. I DO NOT OVERUSE THE CAPS LOCK KEY
6. I found Waldo
7. I don't wear female undergarments, except for that one year at Halloween ;>
8. I did not mastermind Julius Caeser's death; that was Cassius
9. I had no trouble committing my phone number to memory
10. I have never broken into a bear's home and eaten all his porridge
11. I hardly ever repeat myself
12. I have never pulled the football away from Charlie Brown
13. I very rarely tie cans to a cat's tail
14. I would give up my appendix for the right woman
15. I'm great with kids; even better with roast beef
16. I'm never wrong. I thought I was wrong once but that was a mistake
17. At a touch of a button, I can have a pizza delivered to me personally in under 30 minutes
18. Come on, I'm not *that* much of an eyesore!
19. I'm a good listener
20. I always remember to use pixie dust when attempting to jump out of a window and fly
21. I believe the rabbit should be given some Trix
22. You've probably heard every line in the book... So, what's one more?
23. I "Just Say No" to drugs
24. I practice random kindness
25. Occasionally, I have been known to have a clue
26. We are of opposite genders in the same species
27. I make my bed at least 50% of the time
28. You are falling madly in lust with me, you just haven't realized it yet
29. I hardly ever repeat myself
30. Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp are already in relationships

Give me 30 reasons why you shouldn't go out with me

Btw.....Top 10 lists are for wussies...takes a real man to come up with a Top Thirty!!

Dating and the Holidays

Today's musical recommendation -> "I'm Ready" by Bryan Adams

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November 27/11

Something to ponder......how do we handle the holidays and dating?

So here we are on a dating website and should fate be kind to us, we'll come across a profile and both parties will sit back and go "Yes, they look nice, we have some common interests, and they can actually communicate with complete sentences that don't contain a multitude of spelling and grammatical errors"

We begin to exchange some emails, progress to some texting and phone calls, and if things work out as we all hope we agree to a time and place to meet for that crucial chemistry test.

Now assuming, and I do know the saying about assuming so no need to remind me ok, the chemistry works out and you begin to see one another the rest is history at any other point in time and subject to the normal pressures of the space and time continuum......but here is the catch....at this moment we are fast approaching the holiday's and that brings its own special pressures to a new relationship...........

What do you do about gifts? How long do you need to be dating before you should exchange gifts? If you do decide to exchange gifts, should there be some monetary limit?

 
How does one even broach the subject of Christmas gifts when the relationship is still in its infancy without seeming to be caught up in the whole gift giving/receiving thing?

What about the issue of time spent together over the holidays? Many of us have children whom we share custody of with our ex's and thus might have Christmas Eve open or Christmas afternoon to spend with that new special person.......

I pose these questions as I went through these exact same things last year when I started to see someone towards the end of November and through the holidays.

Now we were very upfront that we wanted to exchange a gift but something small as we both acknowledged the fact that we were still getting to know one another.......I'll admit to being relieved when she brought up the subject on her own as I was really worried I'd do the wrong thing...I knew I was going to get her something but didn't want her thinking I expected anything in return.

Things were going well until the week of Christmas came along and she dropped a bombshell on me. She was going home for the holidays and home was in Shawinigan so that kind of left me feeling bummed out that we'd be going a week without seeing one another when she asked me if I'd like to come and spend Christmas Eve at her family’s place......she knew that I didn't have my kids until after lunch on Christmas day and felt the same way I did about not seeing one another for a week.....the problem was that this was going to be my introduction to her family.....and nothing says pressure like meeting parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces, cousins for the first time at Christmas........She actually had it all planned out that I'd take Via Rail to Montreal and she'd pick me up there and on Christmas morning we'd head back to Ottawa so I could be here for my kids.........

Needless to say I completely panicked and blew it......no to be fair to myself I doubt many of you would have reacted any other way.....meeting her family was a big deal to me and doing so at such a time was way too much....that and she hadn't met my kids yet and there was no way I was doing that on Christmas day....

I worried about the weather and the possibility of a storm coming through and making it hard to get back in time and used it as an excuse to decline the invitation........I think she understood but I also think it was one of those things that partially made the relationship run its course much sooner than I would have liked.

So being on here at this time of year does have its potential pitfalls.......

So I'm curious.......how would you approach the holiday's if you just started seeing someone?

Does Size Matter?

Today's musical recommendation -> "The Things You Said" by Depeche Mode


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Does Size Matter?

We are always hearing that size doesn't matter to women but like most guys I find this really hard to believe and think they tell us that to assuge the hit to our ego when it doesn't measure up.

I think size does play a major role in things but don't know how major a role and this has me wondering as I'm looking to make a change and would like to factor this into anything I end up doing......

Now by size we are talking length and width......I think both are key criteria don't you?

Now I'm sure some of you are wondering just what the heck brought this topic up and I'll be the first to admit I was shocked when my 12 y/o son told me on the weekend that size matters to women............


You see I drive a V6 Hyundai Tucson that is killing me at the gas pump and have been looking to change vehicles and have mentioned the Kia Sole to my son on a few occassions just to get him riled up as he totally hates them. In fact I took him and a couple of his buddies to Saunders Farm back on Oct 30th for the haunted house and spooky hay ride and mentioned the Kia Sole as we were driving and all three of them groaned and called me a loser for even considering one lol

As one of my favourite characters from The Big Bang Theory would say "Bazinga!" Thanks Sheldon :)

What did you think I was asking about? Really you thought I meant that? Nope.......in that case you deal with what you've got and learn to bring other skills to the table to assist, that is if you think you need any assistance :)

Ok.....now the question still holds true but in the new context......does the size or type of a guys vehicle bring anything to bear on how you might view him?

Over the course of my life I've driven everything from a Nissan Sentra to a Dodge Caravan to Honda Civic EX Sports Coupe. Never saw myself as minivan kind of guy but really came to enjoy driving one and it took some getting used to when I switched to a Chevy Cobalt as the reduced visibility bothered me. Think that was one of the selling points when the lease was up and I ended up on the Tucson.

I know from my own experiences that I care less what you drive than where you might live in terms of neighbourhoods.

Thoughts ladies???


Side note 1 - I was asked if I take suggestions for topics and the answer is of course.......and today's topic wasn't going to be about size but as usual something happened, my son lol, that made me change things up.

Side note 2 - my son made the comment about size as we were leaving the Richmond Arena yesterday after his first 2 goal game of the season in a 4-1 win (can anyone detect the proud dad here lol) and parked right by the front door was a Kia Sole, so me being me I turned to him and said "Look there is my next car" where he just gave me that look and said "Dad, size matters to women"...........at which point I burst out laughing, his mom burst out laughing, her boyfriend burst out laughing, his sister burst out laughing as did her boyfriend..........and I made a quick exit stage left to avoid his next question about what was so funny........no such luck as his mom sent me a text last night telling me "Your son has a question for you on Tuesday night when he is with you, bet you wish now that you hadn't told him you'd honestly answer any of his questions!!"

Sometimes life can be a cruel mistress lol
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My objective with the posts is to express my feelings on a number of topics and hopefully get people to see outside the box for you never know what you might miss by focusing too much on one thing.

There is nothing wrong with living in the box as long as you realize there is a world outside that box and it just might be a pretty cool place to visit now and again.....I'm just saying

Men & Dating Profiles

November 18/13

Today's musical recommendation -> "Sour Candy" by Carly Rae Jepsen with Josh Ramsey from Marianas Trench

Ok, I've had a few comments about all the daily music recommendations and why so many seem to mention Indie artists. Yes, it's true I tend to lean towards a lot of Canadian Indie artists but given how much they kick serious azz and how proud I am of my heritage why wouldn't I?

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So being a guy I think I'm highly qualified to talk about what we, guys that is, are doing on POF.

Ok, now that you've all stopped laughing, picked yourselves up off the floor, and returned to your seats let me try that again.......

Right off the bat I'm willing to concede that there is a certain percentage of male users who are here looking to get lucky. For those who still wear virginal white and may not know what I mean by lucky let me be frank, but never shirley, and say they are looking to get laid!  What this percentage might really be is up for debate. Me, I tend to think it is in the mid 70's but might be low-balling it.....no pun intended.

So if my math holds true that means that around 25% of guys on this site are actually looking to meet someone and see what might happen. Not great numbers from the female perspective as I tend to think the percentage of women looking to get lucky is directly inverse to the percentage for men, so around 25% of women are looking for sex and 75% are looking for something more lasting and real than a night or two of sheet ripping carnal pleasure......ok, nothing wrong with that but it can get expensive replacing the sheets all the time :)

Let me stop here and backtrack for a moment to say this......we are all looking for sex and hope to meet someone who can knock our undies off.....the difference is that some of us would like that to happen on a regular basis with the same partner and not on a regular basis with a different partner each time.....get my drift ladies? Thought so :)

Ok, back to the gist of today's blog...........What this means is that there are 25 men out of every 100 on here who are trying their hardest to make themselves stand out in the right way. By this I mean they aren't posing in shorts and sunglasses, don't have themselves standing next to a car/boat/motorcycle/snowmobile, or are sitting at a bar with that bad boy look about them.

So what kind of guy makes up the 25%?

Not entirely sure about this as I'm sure many of them own a car, a boat, a motorcycle, snowmobile, and may have been out for drinks lately........I'm also quite confident they are up-to-date on current affairs, believe that family comes first, have careers that make them happy and able to provide a good home for said family and self, might be somewhat athletic, possibly kind of geeky in a techie kind of way, might enjoy a steak grilled to perfection, and possibly even remembers to put the seat and lid down on the loo......

He might not have smooth pickup lines or even know when he is being flirted with......previous posts have discussed just how inept I've been at recognizing when a women has been flirting with me so I'm sure I'm not the only guy like that......maybe he hasn't responded to a message you sent or responded in such a way that leads you to think he isn't interested......odds might be he didn't even know you were showing interest....and I say this from personal experience......so if in doubt send another message and be more direct.......guys like being chased almost as much as women do....any guy who denies this is full of crap!!!

Adding a guy as a favourite and hoping he'll take the hint to send you a message is the cowards way out and I know from my own experience that most times I'm added it is because of the blog and not due to some romantic interest....so for the most part I don't bother sending any messages to people who've added me nor do I really even check that feature out. Same hold true for the whole viewed me - interested in meeting sub feature. If you are interested than make the effort and let the guy know.......you might like the result :)

So the next time you send a message and think he might not be interested give it another shot.....or if you get a message that isn't as deep as you'd like cut the gut some slack.......it is just as hard to strike up a conversation using POF as it is in real life.....and how many of you would just walk up to a perfect stranger with drop dead looks and start chatting him up?  Exactly!!!

There are so many people out there looking for love, oh yes I did use the L word, that it may take some time and effort to find the right one but trust me the rewards are well worth it. Especially this time of year when the weather is perfect for some serious spooning!!! And no I didn't mean in that way, though there isn't anything wrong with that either :)

As always comments and opinions are welcome but I'll keep following the path less travelled in my own journey :)

Pros and Cons to being Single

November 16/13

Today's musical recommendation -> "We will Still Need A Song" by Hawksley Workman

Ok, I've had a few comments about all the daily music recommendations and why so many seem to mention Indie artists. Yes, it's true I tend to lean towards a lot of Canadian Indie artists but given how much they kick serious azz and how proud I am of my heritage why wouldn't I?

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The other day I received a very nasty message from someone that pretty much told me that nobody gives a s&^t about what I have to say and why don't I just do everyone a favour and go away and die a lonely death. I have to admit the hatred behind the words really hit me hard and for a moment I thought maybe I was wasting my time and anyone's who bothered to read my blog and considered ending the blog........but than I thought that why should the voice of one person be loud enough to drown out my desire to express myself. I mean no one is forcing anyone to read the blog right? Not sure what kind of day she was having and wonder if she'd been told "not interested" by someone and took her anger and hurt out on me to compensate for it.....bottom line is that words do have an impact and that was my reminder that bullying isn't restricted to the school playground. Now onto better things :)

 

So here we are with the holiday's fast approaching and I've been getting all the usual comments from friends about how it must suck to be single or how awesome it must be to have no relationship commitments this time of year - the amusing thing is that both married and single friends make arguements either way.

That got me to thinking what are the benefits and costs to being single and instead of just focusing on the holiday season I've put together a little list of pros and cons to being single regardless of the season. Old readers will notice I didn't use irregardless as that still isn't a word!!! (inside joke)

So here we go......

Pros to being single:

• I can sleep in as late as I want on weekends - not so much these days with the arrival of the puppy :)
• I can stay up as late as I want any night the mood strikes me
• I don't have to consult anyone on what to make for dinner - ok, with the exception of my son
• I can indulge in my techie side and buy things without having to explain myself
• Golf whenever I want - season permitting
• I don't have to negotiate which movie to see - as many chick flicks as I like (stop laughing, it's true)
• I don't have to keep a fixed schedule for doing chores :)
• Never have to worry if it is the right time to drop the "L" word......guys worry about this far more than we let on
• I never have to sit through a holiday at my in-laws
• I get all the blankets to myself
• I never have to hear "you're not really wearing that out tonight are you?"
• I never have to answer the question "Do these pants make my butt look big?" If you feel the need to ask then you already know the answer and why punish me?
• No guilt about making eye contact with an attractive woman across the aisle at Loblaws - Hey, it's happened

 

Cons to being single:

• Nobody to snuggle with
• Nobody to say to me "Come to bed, it's getting late"
• Nobody to test recipes on...trust me on this, 12 year olds don't care about trying new things lol
• Nobody to call just to hear her voice
• Nobody to send me flirty texts
• Nobody to negotiate with on what movie to see - need someone to counter balance my chick flicks
• Nobody to softly cover with the blanket 2am
• Nobody to suggest it might be time to update the old wardrobe. Contrary to my current view golf shirts don't constitute a wardrobe
• Nobody to do chores and errands with
• Nobody to smile at me from across the room with that look that just says it all without saying a word
• Nobody to tell me she loves me.

 

Hopefully you'll see the humour in both my lists but the fact is that for me the cons far outweigh the pros and I'd gladly ditch them for someone to call my own.

As much as my married male friends like to joke around on how I've got it made being single the real truth is that they've got the life I want for myself......someone to share things with, to be intimate with, to make plans with, to take trips with, to just be with........

As always comments and opinions are welcome but I'll keep following the path less travelled in my own journey :)

Randoms about Moi

November 14/11

Today's musical recommendation is Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen


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So over the past week I've gotten a few messages about the whole profile and how it is kind of devoid of information about yours truely so I thought I'd toss out a few tidbits :)

I'm a righty that tends to think like a lefty
Nothing makes me smile quicker than thinking about my kids - doesn't really make me unique
I can get lost for hours on end at either Chapter's or Ikea
I love golf but can't say I'm really all that good at it. My best round ever is a 90 but I keep trying :)
I've been to St. Lucia and would love to go back or try another cool island
I had tears at the end of Toy Story 3 and my son found that amusing
I had my first silver hair at 16 and a receding hairline for years....neither has ever bothered me :)
I've done the whole long distance relationship thing......it is was what brought me to Ottawa
I'm confident in my work life, as a parent, and coaching my kids in soccer, but a bundle of nerves when it comes to meeting women and dating lol
I don't have any shirtless pictures and can't understand the mind set of those who post them
I randomly pay it forward and enjoy how it makes me feel

I'm just an average guy doing his best to provide for his kids and hopefully meet someone who can appreciate me for me......