Thank you Laura

Today's musical recommendation -> "Secrets" by One Republic

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December 16/11 - A special thank you

I'm torn between two potential posts and will mull them over at lunch and choose one to post this afternoon.

Ok, I had two topics to consider posting about. One was kind of light and fluffy, sort of a perfect feel good post to kick off the weekend. The other isn't dark and heavy but does come with some tough memories that I already battle enough as it is.

So you can guess which one I went with right?

Some of you who read the blog may be familiar with the background to this posting and apologies for making you read it again but as my friend Deborah likes to say, it is what it is :)

Two years ago my son came home from school feeling ill with what we thought was a regular run of the mill cold/virus. Little did we know that this cold was really a major sinus infection that over the course of two weeks resulted in a brain abscess that required emergency surgery @ 5am on December 5th that lasted almost 10 hours. The first week post surgery was really a blur and spent sitting with my son in the Ped's ICU as they pretty much kept him sleeping while pumping him full of antibiotics, his mom and I alternated days so one of us was with him at all times and spent the time reading to him or telling him stories. While he doesn't remember much of that week he does now and again mention the story about the prince on the journey that I spun out over those long days......

Now this posting isn't about the ordeal itself but rather about what one fellow fish on the pond did for me that to this day still makes me smile as I know I had been fast approaching my breaking point.....and what she did for me happened exactly two years ago this weekend........

Just before my son got sick I'd started chatting with a lady named Laura and she wasn't sure if she was up for anything man wise as she was going through a rather bitter breakup. She is a highly paid consultant and her ex was trying to sue her for support and as you can imagine that didn't sit well with her. This sort of worked against anything happening between us and I was ok with that as I wasn't sure what I was looking for at the time, so we kept chatting and when my son got sick I sort of dropped off the radar and wasn't on POF at all or answering any emails. Once he had stabilized and been moved to a regular room things calmed down a bit and his mom and I kept to the alternate days with him. Just made it easier with work and gave each of us a chance to step away from the hospital and tend to the everyday things life throws our way.

Laura had sent me several messages and I called her to tell her what had gone on and thanked her for checking up on me. I'm an only child so my only family is really my children as both my parents have passed so I had to deal with everything on my own and those 2+ weeks were emotionally brutal. It was a Saturday afternoon and I had just done some laundry when we started chatting and she must have sensed how frayed I was from everything as she said it was time we met and had some drinks....now I'm not a big drinker but I have to say the thought was very appealing at the moment so I agreed and we set a time to meet at the D’Arcy McGee's in Bells Corners.

Now most pubs are crowded on a Saturday night but they're even more so on a weekend in December so you can imagine how busy and loud it was for our first meeting. I was pretty nervous as she had said all the right things to get me interested and was kind of cute to boot. Well she sat down next to me at the bar and leaned over and gave me a hug and soft kiss on my cheek, smiled and told me it was time to relax. We than spent the next 3+ hours sitting at a little table just talking about anything and everything....except for the Friday when I had to take my son to CHEO and make some of the hardest decisions in my life......I think she knew I was holding back as she stood up and said it was time to leave....I was taken a little aback as I thought things were going really well and she must have seen this on my face as she laughed and said it was time for me to get drunk and since drinking and driving don't mix we had to move the party to her place. She lived like 5 minutes away so I thought to myself "why not?" and agreed. I jokingly told her that is this was some plan to get me to sleep with her it wasn't going to work as I didn't do that on a first date. She just smiled at me as we walked to the parking lot. I followed her to her place and she gave me a tour and the pride she had in it was obvious as she had done most of the remodeling herself.

We stood around her kitchen for the next several hours and went through a couple of bottles of wine, she told me she loved white wine and had a few she wanted me to try, and as the night wore on she got me talking about what had happened that fateful Friday.......I can tell you it was so hard to talk about it but in her line of work she knew that I needed to get it out and talk to someone........I told her about feeling helpless as my son had a CT scan and then an MRI, how I couldn't get a hold of his mom, how they had to call in a neurologist to review the scan, sitting there as he told me my son was going to die if they didn't operate but that the surgery could also kill him...telling me he'd leave me to think about it....me saying there wasn't anything to think about....I do nothing and he dies, I authorize surgery and there's a 50/50 chance he dies....all the while I'm facing this decision on my own........and trying to comfort my son and not letting him see the terror raging away inside me........the anger and hurt I felt at the whole situation....anger that his virus had spiraled into something so horrible, at my ex for not being there, at myself, hurt for the pain my son was in, guilt that it even happened..........

and then the tears came......for the first time since the ordeal started I let down my barriers and cried....and cried..........Laura stepped in front of me and just hugged me.......not saying a word, knowing that the silence and release of my tears were what I really needed more than anything..........

By than the wine and emotions had taken a toll on my energy so she guided me to her room and gently pushed me onto her bed, taking off my pants and shirt and pulling the comforter up.....she laid down on top of it next to me and softly stroked my hair as I fell asleep and slept the first sleep that lasted more than an hour.......

I had to be at CHEO for 9am on Sunday so when my iPhone alarm beeped at 7am I woke up with a start not recognizing where I was at first.....looking over I saw her waking up and she leaned over and softly kissed me good morning.........I explained that I had to go and hoped she understood.....she smiled and told me everything was good.......it was at that point that I realized I was only in my boxers and started to blush....looking at her I saw she was in some rather sexy pj shorts and tank top.......she laughed and said I'd been true to my word.....kind of......I had slept with her but nothing carnal had happened between us

When I got to CHEO and to my son's room both his mother and him commented on how much more relaxed I seemed. I just smiled and got settled in for another day of movies and books with my son :)

Shortly after that things heated up between Laura and her ex and she shut down dealing with men as she was feeling angry about his games.........she closed down her profile and along the way we lost touch........but to this day I'm convinced that one night saved me from losing my mind.......so every time I pass her neighborhood I smile and say a silent thank you to a wonderful woman named Laura.........

So you might be wondering what made me decide to take the hard route and the answer, as always, is centered around my son.....on the drive to school this morning he asked me if there was something wrong and I told him no, why did he ask, he responded that I looked kind of sad and I smiled and said I was just thinking back to '09.....he reached over and held my hand and said the angels looked out over us......little does he know how right he is :)

So this weekend I'm in bachelor mode and come Saturday night I'll pour a glass of wine and toast Laura and the magic she did in bringing my soul back from the brink.............

Thank you Laura and I hope with all my heart you've found someone who makes you smile like you did for me that night two years ago...........................