Dating and the Holidays

Today's musical recommendation -> "I'm Ready" by Bryan Adams

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November 27/11

Something to ponder......how do we handle the holidays and dating?

So here we are on a dating website and should fate be kind to us, we'll come across a profile and both parties will sit back and go "Yes, they look nice, we have some common interests, and they can actually communicate with complete sentences that don't contain a multitude of spelling and grammatical errors"

We begin to exchange some emails, progress to some texting and phone calls, and if things work out as we all hope we agree to a time and place to meet for that crucial chemistry test.

Now assuming, and I do know the saying about assuming so no need to remind me ok, the chemistry works out and you begin to see one another the rest is history at any other point in time and subject to the normal pressures of the space and time continuum......but here is the catch....at this moment we are fast approaching the holiday's and that brings its own special pressures to a new relationship...........

What do you do about gifts? How long do you need to be dating before you should exchange gifts? If you do decide to exchange gifts, should there be some monetary limit?

 
How does one even broach the subject of Christmas gifts when the relationship is still in its infancy without seeming to be caught up in the whole gift giving/receiving thing?

What about the issue of time spent together over the holidays? Many of us have children whom we share custody of with our ex's and thus might have Christmas Eve open or Christmas afternoon to spend with that new special person.......

I pose these questions as I went through these exact same things last year when I started to see someone towards the end of November and through the holidays.

Now we were very upfront that we wanted to exchange a gift but something small as we both acknowledged the fact that we were still getting to know one another.......I'll admit to being relieved when she brought up the subject on her own as I was really worried I'd do the wrong thing...I knew I was going to get her something but didn't want her thinking I expected anything in return.

Things were going well until the week of Christmas came along and she dropped a bombshell on me. She was going home for the holidays and home was in Shawinigan so that kind of left me feeling bummed out that we'd be going a week without seeing one another when she asked me if I'd like to come and spend Christmas Eve at her family’s place......she knew that I didn't have my kids until after lunch on Christmas day and felt the same way I did about not seeing one another for a week.....the problem was that this was going to be my introduction to her family.....and nothing says pressure like meeting parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces, cousins for the first time at Christmas........She actually had it all planned out that I'd take Via Rail to Montreal and she'd pick me up there and on Christmas morning we'd head back to Ottawa so I could be here for my kids.........

Needless to say I completely panicked and blew it......no to be fair to myself I doubt many of you would have reacted any other way.....meeting her family was a big deal to me and doing so at such a time was way too much....that and she hadn't met my kids yet and there was no way I was doing that on Christmas day....

I worried about the weather and the possibility of a storm coming through and making it hard to get back in time and used it as an excuse to decline the invitation........I think she understood but I also think it was one of those things that partially made the relationship run its course much sooner than I would have liked.

So being on here at this time of year does have its potential pitfalls.......

So I'm curious.......how would you approach the holiday's if you just started seeing someone?