Saturday, April 27/19
This is one of those blog entries that seems to come alive on it's own out of my own current feelings, so it could end up being a long one or short as I'm totally free styling it as I sit here.......
We make choices from the moment we come into the world until the moment we take our last breathe and depart it.
These choices are made consciously and subconsciously.
Conscious choices are as simple as what to wear to work to what we want to have for dinner.
Subconscious choices are made without any notice on our part, sort of the reason we refer to them as subconscious in that they require little to no thought to accomplish, for most of us the simple act of putting on our seat belts has now become something we subconsciously do the moment we sit down in our car.
Choices begin the moment we take our first breathe out of the womb, though those are more subconscious than anything else, and evolve over time to far more complicated decisions that impact not only ourselves but those bot close to us and complete strangers as well.
Who we choose to be friends with when we begin school, who we find attractive enough to warrant making a move to get to know them better, which sports or after school activities to pursue, to which university to attend, if we even decide to follow that path, to the career we decide to follow are all choices we make, that impact us, our families, our friends, and those we might not even know.
My decision to turn down employment opportunities not once, not twice, but three times with Bankers Trust meant that three other individuals had opportunities develop that they might not have otherwise been offered, people who didn't know me nor I them, but impact them I did.
My decision to move to Ottawa opened up a position for someone at the company I was leaving and taking the one I did here meant someone else might have lost out, again impacting someone I haven't ever met.
The choice I made to move from Southern California probably ranks among the biggest I've ever made as it eventually led to some life altering changes in my life, becoming a father to an adorable little girl, the arrival of my son, and now the inclusion of my grandson, all choices that I made at one part that led to something else happening.
The choices we make have a ripple effect across time. Consider this, if I had not decided to move to Ottawa my son would not have been born in his current form, he might have been the byproduct of another partner and thus not who he is today, the lessons I learned from being his father might not have been the same ones I'd have learned from having a son with someone else, his own views on sports or school could have been totally different with another man as his father. My grandson might never have been born as maybe my daughter doesn't get the support from another man her mother might have ended up with, or maybe she would have done even better than she did with me in her life as things turned out, not saying I'm a bad father but the logic is there that she could have done better and she could have done worse, all things considered.
Some choices are made for us without even involving our direct participation. Being on the receiving end of a break up is one such event, losing a job due to the company downsizing is another, things that directly impact us over which we have little to no say.
Choices can bring joy or sadness, sometimes they can bring both with a separation of time between the two polar opposites. The end of my marriage caused me some sadness but also led me to become more independent and make the choice to focus on being a better parent, something that has truly brought me intense joy over the years. The choice to put myself out there in the dating pool was a byproduct of the end of that marriage and also gave me the opportunity to meet Corrine and understand how much I still had to offer someone and accept from them in return.
I've made good choices and bad choices, choices I've made impacted others, choices made by others have impacted me both directly and indirectly, that is the reality of choices.
Choices aren't made in a vacuum and have consequences, we hope these are for the better but sometimes what is good for us or someone we care about isn't so good for another person. Hell, even the choices we do follow might be bad for us but because we care for someone else we are willing to make them knowing it might benefit them to a far greater degree than it hurts us.
Choices....we all make them.....we are all a product of the choices we make as well as those made by others.....
My name is Marcus and I've made more than my fair share of choices and probably have a few more in me to make over the coming years. I'm doing my best to make sure I make good choices and one of the most important ones will hopefully centre around meeting my one......
Today's musical suggestion is "Lonesome" by Shaed.
I've got a couple of other blog entries in the hopper, it's been a crazy 2 weeks with year end at work and my son prepping to write his final exams being my main focus, now that he is done and my part of year end has passed I'm hoping to get some free time to get back to the blog, well here's hoping.
Questions and comments are welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Saturday, April 27, 2019
Saturday, April 20, 2019
Happy Easter
Saturday, April 20/19
It's been a rather busy Saturday as I was out running errands and just cleaned up from dinner with the son.
He's back to studying for a bit as he's writing two final exams on Tuesday so I thought I'd post a quick entry extending my best wishes to everyone for a Happy Easter.
Easter is one of the two biggest religious holiday's in the Catholic church, my church of choice all negative aspects aside, so I'm usually a little more introspective on this weekend. Usually being the operative word in that last sentence as today I'm just trying to relax and let my thoughts soar free of any shackles.
Now I'm sure some of you reading this don't follow my own beliefs or possibly any at all, maybe you are an atheist or even an agnostic, don't care and not going to make any judgments on you.
We are all individuals and our own pursuit of some connection is just that, our own and private to each of us. I'm mentioned before that while I consider myself Roman Catholic that there are some tenants of the church that I refuse to follow, that's my choice and one I'll possibly have to address to a higher power should I ever be called before them.........
My only consideration when dealing with someone is are they true to themselves and do they try and do good for those they love and the community in which they reside.
Pretty basic and simple points and I don't see any need to complicate them further with restrictions as life is already complex enough given the changing scope of government and societal pressures to conform or face the consequences.
So for today let me just say this.........I love you and hope wherever you find yourself on your life journey that you can look around and have someone you can embrace when you need a hug or offer a shoulder to lean on when they need one.
Happy Easter :-)
My name is Marcus and I'm trying to be a better person than I was the day before.
Comments or questions are always welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
It's been a rather busy Saturday as I was out running errands and just cleaned up from dinner with the son.
He's back to studying for a bit as he's writing two final exams on Tuesday so I thought I'd post a quick entry extending my best wishes to everyone for a Happy Easter.
Easter is one of the two biggest religious holiday's in the Catholic church, my church of choice all negative aspects aside, so I'm usually a little more introspective on this weekend. Usually being the operative word in that last sentence as today I'm just trying to relax and let my thoughts soar free of any shackles.
Now I'm sure some of you reading this don't follow my own beliefs or possibly any at all, maybe you are an atheist or even an agnostic, don't care and not going to make any judgments on you.
We are all individuals and our own pursuit of some connection is just that, our own and private to each of us. I'm mentioned before that while I consider myself Roman Catholic that there are some tenants of the church that I refuse to follow, that's my choice and one I'll possibly have to address to a higher power should I ever be called before them.........
My only consideration when dealing with someone is are they true to themselves and do they try and do good for those they love and the community in which they reside.
Pretty basic and simple points and I don't see any need to complicate them further with restrictions as life is already complex enough given the changing scope of government and societal pressures to conform or face the consequences.
So for today let me just say this.........I love you and hope wherever you find yourself on your life journey that you can look around and have someone you can embrace when you need a hug or offer a shoulder to lean on when they need one.
Happy Easter :-)
My name is Marcus and I'm trying to be a better person than I was the day before.
Comments or questions are always welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Friday, April 19, 2019
Sometimes those sayings we grew up hearing make more sense the older we get......
Friday, April 19/19
I've come to realize those ubiquitous sayings we all grew up hearing from the adults around us actually do make sense and aren't just a bunch of words thrown together in some attempt to impress us.
Case in point........Be careful what you wish for
I've had recent posts describing how much I hated my old job, the overall organization, and pretty much the team I was part of, all for a variety of reasons that are perfectly justified, least they are in my mind and really, that's all that counts when I'm the one writing this little blog
I was bored in my old job, not really pushed to learn new skills, and made to feel like I really didn't belong there due to my age and sex...........shitty all the way but nobody ever said life has to deal you the perfect hand of cards now did they
Fast forward to the present position and it is the exact opposite in every single way.
I'm part of an organization that is the leader in a still evolving industry, member of a team that actually values the effort each member makes, and involved in so many new things there are days my head is spinning and I get home and am so intellectually exhausted all I do is grab a quick bite to eat, snuggle with Moki the wonder puppy, and fall asleep before 9 pm.
I used to complain about not having enough to do and being so bored out of my mind.
Now there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done and even the advent of the hiring a second business analyst doesn't make me think it will actually ease my burden at all and you know what.......I'm pumped!!!!
I spend far too much time in meetings, meetings I wasn't sure I should even be sitting in at first, and now things have started to come together in my mind as to what my role is with the team and organization, I'm sort of starting to see how we are approaching some incredible market opportunities and how I'm going to help us achieve our goals.....kind of heady stuff if I say so myself.
I was looking over my work calendar last week when my son was with me and he commented on just how full my days were and I laughed at the comment telling him to wait a bit as I'm sure another couple of meeting requests would be popping up in the available free time.....and sure enough almost as I finished saying that a new request from the director of sales opened up requesting I attend a meeting concerning the set up of new Moneris terminals at some stores we are bringing online in May.
My son looked at me and asked what I had to do with stores since I work in finance and I had to outline how everything flows together from purchasing to logistics to retail to payroll, how my role is to support each member of those teams making sure they understand the correct steps in the process, and ensuring the various systems were correctly talking to each other and transferring information in a timely and accurate manner.
"But you are just an analyst dad" was his response.
"Being just an analyst covers a whole world of activities and is keeping me busier than I've ever been in my career"
He smiled at me and replied "It seems to suit you as you are way more alive about things than you've been for years"
He's right in so many ways.
My health is back, my mind is right, and now I've got a position that is making me reach beyond my current skill set to develop new ones and loving every minute of it, even when I know I have that deer in the headlight look on my face lol
Life couldn't get much better......well I guess having my "one" around might make it a bit better as than I could have someone to share the rewards of being so happy with when we were together.
My name is Marcus and I'm now wondering what other sayings are going to be more true than false.
Today's musical suggestion is "Private Life" by Oingo Boingo. Such an under appreciated band from the mid 70's and one of the better groups to get introduced to the new wave and ska music scene.
Interesting fun fact......Oingo Boingo's lead singer Danny Elfman is one of the leading film and television scorers over the past 20 years. Now you can never say the blog is just a source of entertainment as it's also educational as well :)
Got a question? Want to let me know what you are thinking or feeling? send me a message at ooasm2018@gmail.com and I promise to respond either in a return email or possibly with a blog post, you just never know where this guy is concerned ;-))
I've come to realize those ubiquitous sayings we all grew up hearing from the adults around us actually do make sense and aren't just a bunch of words thrown together in some attempt to impress us.
Case in point........Be careful what you wish for
I've had recent posts describing how much I hated my old job, the overall organization, and pretty much the team I was part of, all for a variety of reasons that are perfectly justified, least they are in my mind and really, that's all that counts when I'm the one writing this little blog
I was bored in my old job, not really pushed to learn new skills, and made to feel like I really didn't belong there due to my age and sex...........shitty all the way but nobody ever said life has to deal you the perfect hand of cards now did they
Fast forward to the present position and it is the exact opposite in every single way.
I'm part of an organization that is the leader in a still evolving industry, member of a team that actually values the effort each member makes, and involved in so many new things there are days my head is spinning and I get home and am so intellectually exhausted all I do is grab a quick bite to eat, snuggle with Moki the wonder puppy, and fall asleep before 9 pm.
I used to complain about not having enough to do and being so bored out of my mind.
Now there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done and even the advent of the hiring a second business analyst doesn't make me think it will actually ease my burden at all and you know what.......I'm pumped!!!!
I spend far too much time in meetings, meetings I wasn't sure I should even be sitting in at first, and now things have started to come together in my mind as to what my role is with the team and organization, I'm sort of starting to see how we are approaching some incredible market opportunities and how I'm going to help us achieve our goals.....kind of heady stuff if I say so myself.
I was looking over my work calendar last week when my son was with me and he commented on just how full my days were and I laughed at the comment telling him to wait a bit as I'm sure another couple of meeting requests would be popping up in the available free time.....and sure enough almost as I finished saying that a new request from the director of sales opened up requesting I attend a meeting concerning the set up of new Moneris terminals at some stores we are bringing online in May.
My son looked at me and asked what I had to do with stores since I work in finance and I had to outline how everything flows together from purchasing to logistics to retail to payroll, how my role is to support each member of those teams making sure they understand the correct steps in the process, and ensuring the various systems were correctly talking to each other and transferring information in a timely and accurate manner.
"But you are just an analyst dad" was his response.
"Being just an analyst covers a whole world of activities and is keeping me busier than I've ever been in my career"
He smiled at me and replied "It seems to suit you as you are way more alive about things than you've been for years"
He's right in so many ways.
My health is back, my mind is right, and now I've got a position that is making me reach beyond my current skill set to develop new ones and loving every minute of it, even when I know I have that deer in the headlight look on my face lol
Life couldn't get much better......well I guess having my "one" around might make it a bit better as than I could have someone to share the rewards of being so happy with when we were together.
My name is Marcus and I'm now wondering what other sayings are going to be more true than false.
Today's musical suggestion is "Private Life" by Oingo Boingo. Such an under appreciated band from the mid 70's and one of the better groups to get introduced to the new wave and ska music scene.
Interesting fun fact......Oingo Boingo's lead singer Danny Elfman is one of the leading film and television scorers over the past 20 years. Now you can never say the blog is just a source of entertainment as it's also educational as well :)
Got a question? Want to let me know what you are thinking or feeling? send me a message at ooasm2018@gmail.com and I promise to respond either in a return email or possibly with a blog post, you just never know where this guy is concerned ;-))
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
The text from my ex wife that made me a little sad
Wednesday, April 17/19
So as I was leaving work today I went to turn my phone off of silent mode and saw a missed text from my ex wife and wondered what that could be about as she has been down in Toronto on business all week.
I opened it up and the first thing I saw was "Not sure if you saw this" and there was a link to a story in what I think was LinkedIn.
The story was about a promotion and new position for Corinna.
To say I was gob smacked would be putting it mildly, to say getting it from the mother of my children was even more shocking.
I replied that I hadn't seen it and had actually stopped trying to see what was happening with her as if she wanted me to know she'd have reached out to me but I appreciated her thinking of me when she saw it.
She responded almost right away "It means she's coming home right?"
"Home is wherever she chooses and from the sounds of things down near Kingston, so not really near me"
I could almost sense her rolling her eyes and shaking her head as she typed out "For such a smart guy you really can be dumb sometimes. This just means she has more of a reason to maybe reach out to you now"
I love how much of an optimist the mother of my children is and it is something I've tried to emulate over the years but not even the romantic in me, who absolutely believes anything is possible where love is concerned, is holding out a chance in hell of getting a call from the one woman in my life who had me thinking I'd found my one and totally broke my heart four years ago.
From the sounds of the article she is getting everything she has dreamed of and I'm really happy for her, happy and yet kind of sad as there have been times over the years where I've wondered how things might have gone between us had we'd not walked away from one another.
My name is Marcus and I'm not feeling all that chipper tonight, actually feeling downright sad as I'm starting to wonder if love is ever going to bring me my one.....
No musical suggestion tonight as nothing seems good enough to me.
Questions and comments welcome as always.........ooasm2018@gmail.com
So as I was leaving work today I went to turn my phone off of silent mode and saw a missed text from my ex wife and wondered what that could be about as she has been down in Toronto on business all week.
I opened it up and the first thing I saw was "Not sure if you saw this" and there was a link to a story in what I think was LinkedIn.
The story was about a promotion and new position for Corinna.
To say I was gob smacked would be putting it mildly, to say getting it from the mother of my children was even more shocking.
I replied that I hadn't seen it and had actually stopped trying to see what was happening with her as if she wanted me to know she'd have reached out to me but I appreciated her thinking of me when she saw it.
She responded almost right away "It means she's coming home right?"
"Home is wherever she chooses and from the sounds of things down near Kingston, so not really near me"
I could almost sense her rolling her eyes and shaking her head as she typed out "For such a smart guy you really can be dumb sometimes. This just means she has more of a reason to maybe reach out to you now"
I love how much of an optimist the mother of my children is and it is something I've tried to emulate over the years but not even the romantic in me, who absolutely believes anything is possible where love is concerned, is holding out a chance in hell of getting a call from the one woman in my life who had me thinking I'd found my one and totally broke my heart four years ago.
From the sounds of the article she is getting everything she has dreamed of and I'm really happy for her, happy and yet kind of sad as there have been times over the years where I've wondered how things might have gone between us had we'd not walked away from one another.
My name is Marcus and I'm not feeling all that chipper tonight, actually feeling downright sad as I'm starting to wonder if love is ever going to bring me my one.....
No musical suggestion tonight as nothing seems good enough to me.
Questions and comments welcome as always.........ooasm2018@gmail.com
Sunday, April 14, 2019
An Awkward Case of Mistaken Identity
Sunday, April 14/19
So Mother Nature has gone back to her split personality this weekend, with the warm and wonderful Mother Nature showing up yesterday offset by today's cold bitchy personality in the form of rain intermixed with snow.....yes, still getting some snow, the only good thing being that it's melting as soon as it hits the ground.
My son is with his mom this week so I visited my daughter and grandson yesterday morning taking Moki along for the ride and some fresh air.
Once my visit was over I dropped Moki off at home, not without getting the look from the pupper telling me I was a disappointment to her yet again, and went to run some errands.
I know a lot of my blogs mention me running errands but the truth is that I find that aspect of my life to be calming and lets me get things done that I can mark off in the win column.
Yesterday's errands included gassing up the car, stopping by Pier 1 Imports to look for a set of book ends as I'm slowly trying to redo the interior of my place, going by Golf Town to price out the cost of new grips for my entire set of clubs (irons and woods), going to Bayshore to get a birthday card for my son and Easter cards for the kids, and grabbing a late lunch or early dinner at Baton Rouge.
I ended up pushing the Bayshore part of my errands to Sunday as I know I'm going to head into the office for a bit in order to write up some procedures that will require me to log into the system and I've found that while the VPN works well it isn't quite as fast as being on site.
So all the rest of my errands were done by 3 pm when I decided it was a perfect time to stop by Baton Rouge and feed my inner carnivore with some prime rib :)
When I'm dining alone I make it a habit to sit on the bar side as they are usually showing some golf on the TVs and the lighting is good and it allows me to read on my tablet while enjoying my meal.
Yesterday was no exception, the Masters was playing and the bar side was empty so I had my pick of booths to sit in and relax.
I had my usual order complimented with a Caesar salad just to prove that I can appreciate something green in my diet :)
I enjoyed my meal and was lost in the book I was reading when I sensed a group of people walking past my booth and only looked up in time to see the last person in the group. They were seated two booths past me and from the sounds of things were a group of four females out for dinner and a movie at the Landmark Theatre.
As I was getting ready to settle up my bill I could sense quite a bit of heated whispering going on with them and didn't really pay it much attention even though I sensed it wasn't a happy conversation taking place.
Suddenly out of the blue one woman exclaimed rather loudly "Are you sure it's him?"
Now at this part I should have really turned around as I was the only male in the bar and it might have saved me from what happened next, but I didn't want to be that person and appear to be rude by looking at them....if only I'd listened to my spidey senses lol
In the back of my mind I wondered if I'd chatted with one of them before on the dating site I'm on but having only gotten a look at one of them couldn't know for sure, a little part of me wondered if one of them was among the 6 blog followers who actually know who I am but again having one seen the last one left me unable to know for sure.
Luckily for me that wasn't to be the case for very long as just as I was pulling out my credit card to let the server know I was ready to pay my bill and get going I noticed movement to my left and looked up at a rather striking brunette, who from appearances looked like she'd just swallowed the proverbial bitter pill, looking down at me with undisguised anger all over her face.
That should have been my second clue that things weren't going to go well for me.....
Before I had a chance to say anything she glared at me while saying "You are a complete fucking pig and the reason women have trust issues, I hope you grow old alone and bitter about the one who got away, not that you deserve her attention and love"
Yes, I totally agree with you that that was a well worded insult but she wasn't quite done as she then proceeded to throw the contents of her drink in my face before turning and heading back to her friends.
I think she even caught them by surprise as one exclaimed "Holy crap Beth, I didn't think you'd do that"
"Sisters before misters" was her reply
Now at this point my server came rushing over looking mortified and handed me a towel to wipe my face off, asking is if I needed the manager. I've had her several times before and over the years we've enjoyed an easy banter so I could tell she was dead serious about getting the manager for me.
I told her everything was okay and to go ahead and run my card through for my bill but to please add and bring me another drink for the woman who had just lost hers on me. She sort of hesitated a moment and I reassured her this wasn't going to be a tit-for-tat thing on my part.
As I waited for her to return I closed out my tablet and put my jacket on, making sure to not glance towards the table with she who had a bigger pair than most men I know.
The server brought me my receipt and the drink in question, holding onto it a bit when I took it from her, looking at me with more than a little worry in her eyes so I told her I enjoyed dining there and wasn't going to do anything to get myself banned, she smiled and let go of the glass of what looked to be a gin and tonic.
I turned and headed over to the booth finally making eye contact with the blond woman sitting on the outside facing my direction, the woman on the inside of her having buried her head in her hands and my new friend sitting with her back to me on the outside across from them softly talking to the one who had her head in her hands.
As I made eye contact with the blond her eyes got large and she leaned towards Beth telling her loud enough for me to hear "Beth, he's coming this way and has a drink in his hand"
I could see Beth tense up but give her credit for not looking my way.
As I stood at the end of the table I looked at each woman in turn trying to see if I recognized any of them but didn't get any sort of feeling that I'd met or chatted with any of them, other than my little interaction just now with Beth.
As they all looked at me I placed the drink in front of Beth and looked her in the eyes and said "Trust me Miss Beth, If I'd ever had the good fortune to have gone out with your friend I'd have remembered her and not done whatever you think it is I've done, please don't judge all men by the actions of one and I won't judge all women by your actions" and walked out of the restaurant and headed over to Best Buy, quite proud of myself for staying calm and in control.
I had gone about 20 paces when I heard someone calling out behind me so I turned to find the woman who buried her head in her hands approaching me with a very red face. I waited for her to close the distance and just looked at her, noticing her three friends looking out the window at us.
"I'm sorry, I really thought you were someone else and my sister tends to be really protective of me when it comes to men, especially more now given my last encounter"
I didn't have a clue what to do or say and think she mistook my silence as anger and told me she'd pay for any dry cleaning costs. I looked down at my damp San Diego State t-shirt and told her I think it would be okay with just being tossed in the wash so no harm done.
She looked at me to see if I was being sarcastic and I noticed her lip quivering like she was on the verge of crying so I did something completely out of character and opened my arms to hug her, she leaned in and I wrapped my arms around her and softly whispered "I don't know what the asshole did or said to you but he wasn't worthy of you so please don't hold this inside, some men are just idiots when it comes to women and it hurts all of us really trying to find a partner in life. Tell Beth she has points with me for being protective of her family and no hard feelings"
I let my hands drop and told her to take care and walked away, not looking back at all.
I decided to skip Best Buy and just went home and poured myself a very large whiskey, again so out of character for me, as I could feel myself getting more and more angry at this unknown guy who had done such a number on this woman. My anger wasn't because his actions led to me getting a drink in the face but more for the fact that guys like him are so fucking over those of us who are looking for love and a real partner. No wonder women categorize men as players and the earnest one's among us can't get the time of day.
I try like hell not to let my previous dating experiences influence my interactions with someone I've just met, knowing it can be hard at times but there is no basis for punishing someone for actions committed by others.
Meeting someone is hard enough these days without having to overcome things that happened before we've even met for the first time.
Not every person you meet has an agenda and I know it's hard to weed out the good from the bad but I ask that you at least try and keep an open mind when meeting someone as you just never know if they might not be the one you are so aching to meet and have in your life.......
My name is Marcus and I sort of wish I'd gone back in and talked to Beth as I liked her attitude a little bit more than I probably should have given what happened to me :)
I want to meet someone who has that kind of passion in life, oh how I want to meet her........
Questions and comments welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Today's musical suggestion is "The Other Side" by Ruelle. A little bit haunting and sad but sort of matches my own mood the past few days.
So Mother Nature has gone back to her split personality this weekend, with the warm and wonderful Mother Nature showing up yesterday offset by today's cold bitchy personality in the form of rain intermixed with snow.....yes, still getting some snow, the only good thing being that it's melting as soon as it hits the ground.
My son is with his mom this week so I visited my daughter and grandson yesterday morning taking Moki along for the ride and some fresh air.
Once my visit was over I dropped Moki off at home, not without getting the look from the pupper telling me I was a disappointment to her yet again, and went to run some errands.
I know a lot of my blogs mention me running errands but the truth is that I find that aspect of my life to be calming and lets me get things done that I can mark off in the win column.
Yesterday's errands included gassing up the car, stopping by Pier 1 Imports to look for a set of book ends as I'm slowly trying to redo the interior of my place, going by Golf Town to price out the cost of new grips for my entire set of clubs (irons and woods), going to Bayshore to get a birthday card for my son and Easter cards for the kids, and grabbing a late lunch or early dinner at Baton Rouge.
I ended up pushing the Bayshore part of my errands to Sunday as I know I'm going to head into the office for a bit in order to write up some procedures that will require me to log into the system and I've found that while the VPN works well it isn't quite as fast as being on site.
So all the rest of my errands were done by 3 pm when I decided it was a perfect time to stop by Baton Rouge and feed my inner carnivore with some prime rib :)
When I'm dining alone I make it a habit to sit on the bar side as they are usually showing some golf on the TVs and the lighting is good and it allows me to read on my tablet while enjoying my meal.
Yesterday was no exception, the Masters was playing and the bar side was empty so I had my pick of booths to sit in and relax.
I had my usual order complimented with a Caesar salad just to prove that I can appreciate something green in my diet :)
I enjoyed my meal and was lost in the book I was reading when I sensed a group of people walking past my booth and only looked up in time to see the last person in the group. They were seated two booths past me and from the sounds of things were a group of four females out for dinner and a movie at the Landmark Theatre.
As I was getting ready to settle up my bill I could sense quite a bit of heated whispering going on with them and didn't really pay it much attention even though I sensed it wasn't a happy conversation taking place.
Suddenly out of the blue one woman exclaimed rather loudly "Are you sure it's him?"
Now at this part I should have really turned around as I was the only male in the bar and it might have saved me from what happened next, but I didn't want to be that person and appear to be rude by looking at them....if only I'd listened to my spidey senses lol
In the back of my mind I wondered if I'd chatted with one of them before on the dating site I'm on but having only gotten a look at one of them couldn't know for sure, a little part of me wondered if one of them was among the 6 blog followers who actually know who I am but again having one seen the last one left me unable to know for sure.
Luckily for me that wasn't to be the case for very long as just as I was pulling out my credit card to let the server know I was ready to pay my bill and get going I noticed movement to my left and looked up at a rather striking brunette, who from appearances looked like she'd just swallowed the proverbial bitter pill, looking down at me with undisguised anger all over her face.
That should have been my second clue that things weren't going to go well for me.....
Before I had a chance to say anything she glared at me while saying "You are a complete fucking pig and the reason women have trust issues, I hope you grow old alone and bitter about the one who got away, not that you deserve her attention and love"
Yes, I totally agree with you that that was a well worded insult but she wasn't quite done as she then proceeded to throw the contents of her drink in my face before turning and heading back to her friends.
I think she even caught them by surprise as one exclaimed "Holy crap Beth, I didn't think you'd do that"
"Sisters before misters" was her reply
Now at this point my server came rushing over looking mortified and handed me a towel to wipe my face off, asking is if I needed the manager. I've had her several times before and over the years we've enjoyed an easy banter so I could tell she was dead serious about getting the manager for me.
I told her everything was okay and to go ahead and run my card through for my bill but to please add and bring me another drink for the woman who had just lost hers on me. She sort of hesitated a moment and I reassured her this wasn't going to be a tit-for-tat thing on my part.
As I waited for her to return I closed out my tablet and put my jacket on, making sure to not glance towards the table with she who had a bigger pair than most men I know.
The server brought me my receipt and the drink in question, holding onto it a bit when I took it from her, looking at me with more than a little worry in her eyes so I told her I enjoyed dining there and wasn't going to do anything to get myself banned, she smiled and let go of the glass of what looked to be a gin and tonic.
I turned and headed over to the booth finally making eye contact with the blond woman sitting on the outside facing my direction, the woman on the inside of her having buried her head in her hands and my new friend sitting with her back to me on the outside across from them softly talking to the one who had her head in her hands.
As I made eye contact with the blond her eyes got large and she leaned towards Beth telling her loud enough for me to hear "Beth, he's coming this way and has a drink in his hand"
I could see Beth tense up but give her credit for not looking my way.
As I stood at the end of the table I looked at each woman in turn trying to see if I recognized any of them but didn't get any sort of feeling that I'd met or chatted with any of them, other than my little interaction just now with Beth.
As they all looked at me I placed the drink in front of Beth and looked her in the eyes and said "Trust me Miss Beth, If I'd ever had the good fortune to have gone out with your friend I'd have remembered her and not done whatever you think it is I've done, please don't judge all men by the actions of one and I won't judge all women by your actions" and walked out of the restaurant and headed over to Best Buy, quite proud of myself for staying calm and in control.
I had gone about 20 paces when I heard someone calling out behind me so I turned to find the woman who buried her head in her hands approaching me with a very red face. I waited for her to close the distance and just looked at her, noticing her three friends looking out the window at us.
"I'm sorry, I really thought you were someone else and my sister tends to be really protective of me when it comes to men, especially more now given my last encounter"
I didn't have a clue what to do or say and think she mistook my silence as anger and told me she'd pay for any dry cleaning costs. I looked down at my damp San Diego State t-shirt and told her I think it would be okay with just being tossed in the wash so no harm done.
She looked at me to see if I was being sarcastic and I noticed her lip quivering like she was on the verge of crying so I did something completely out of character and opened my arms to hug her, she leaned in and I wrapped my arms around her and softly whispered "I don't know what the asshole did or said to you but he wasn't worthy of you so please don't hold this inside, some men are just idiots when it comes to women and it hurts all of us really trying to find a partner in life. Tell Beth she has points with me for being protective of her family and no hard feelings"
I let my hands drop and told her to take care and walked away, not looking back at all.
I decided to skip Best Buy and just went home and poured myself a very large whiskey, again so out of character for me, as I could feel myself getting more and more angry at this unknown guy who had done such a number on this woman. My anger wasn't because his actions led to me getting a drink in the face but more for the fact that guys like him are so fucking over those of us who are looking for love and a real partner. No wonder women categorize men as players and the earnest one's among us can't get the time of day.
I try like hell not to let my previous dating experiences influence my interactions with someone I've just met, knowing it can be hard at times but there is no basis for punishing someone for actions committed by others.
Meeting someone is hard enough these days without having to overcome things that happened before we've even met for the first time.
Not every person you meet has an agenda and I know it's hard to weed out the good from the bad but I ask that you at least try and keep an open mind when meeting someone as you just never know if they might not be the one you are so aching to meet and have in your life.......
My name is Marcus and I sort of wish I'd gone back in and talked to Beth as I liked her attitude a little bit more than I probably should have given what happened to me :)
I want to meet someone who has that kind of passion in life, oh how I want to meet her........
Questions and comments welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Today's musical suggestion is "The Other Side" by Ruelle. A little bit haunting and sad but sort of matches my own mood the past few days.
Monday, April 8, 2019
Over 6 years, 561 blog entries, and almost 30,000 views later......
Monday, April 08/19
and I'm still no closer to finding my elusive one than I was at the start of this blog.
Actually it's over 6 years as I began this little adventure on my profile on my first dating site, don't bother searching for it as it's long since been deleted.
So my one takeaway from all of this is that as much as you might want the one in your life there is no guarantee that life is going to see things your way and bring them to you......
I'll admit there are times I'm so frustrated by it all that I just want to toss in the towel, say "Fuck it", and make my unofficial vow of celibacy official.........
But than I'll be out running an errand and I'll see a couple so obviously in love, that head over heels, moon floating high in the sky, kind of attraction where they just look at one another with the knowledge that anything goes......
That always seems to bring me back to my own desire to have someone in my life.
Do I need someone in my life?
No, I've managed well on my own, bought a couple of cars, a house, put some money away for my son's university tuition, my own retirement, taken a vacation or two, and even had a golf membership along the way.
Life has been good but I know it could be better and that's what I want....the better than good that being part of something special can bring.....that mathematically incorrect formula where one plus one equals far more than the two we've come to expect.....
I want someone to drunk dial me at 2 am after a night out with her girls and tell me to get my cute ass over to her place.
I want someone to show up at my place on a Sunday morning with warm croissants and a cup of French Vanilla coffee for me as we cuddle and talk about everything that crosses our minds.
There are times I feel like just chucking it all in, blog included, and then ask myself where else can I get such cheap therapy sessions that might help me finally get over the crap in my head and make some progress in life.
I sincerely hope some of the entries have been more help to you than they've been to me in finding that person who is perfectly imperfect for you.
There is one, maybe two or three, for all of us and they say timing is everything.
Damn those "they's" and the logic of timing lol
My name is Marcus and I'm tired of being alone, but not so tired that I'd willingly enter into a relationship so I could have someone in my life, that wouldn't be fair to myself or honest with them.
I don't have any more of a clue today than I did yesterday or will probably have tomorrow if I'm going to ever meet my one, but I was so close once before that I know the possibility exists for me to grab that brass ring again, if just all the star perfectly align as the moon crests full in the night sky.
Sounds like I might be overreaching a bit and asking for too much doesn't it?
Maybe I am and Karma will come along and bitch slap me back to reality.......but there is also the outside chance that I might just run into her at Loblaws reaching for the same box of cereal or bump into her at Chapters looking at recent releases or if I'm really lucky, at the Kevin Haime Golf Centre where we both go to work on our short game and end up chatting about the proper way to read a green. God only knows what could happen if I just keep an open mind.
So no matter how frustrated or sad I might get at times, I'm going to do my best to remember that without any effort on my part nothing will ever come to pass as I'd like..........
Questions and comments welcome as always at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Tonight's musical suggestion is Snow Patrol's reworked "Chasing Cars" and the YouTube link is right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEeTaF7unrc
Here's to another 6 years but hopefully some of those future blog posts might be about my new girlfriend and awesome relationship where we both enjoy making the other smile and tease each other with little kisses......it could happen
and I'm still no closer to finding my elusive one than I was at the start of this blog.
Actually it's over 6 years as I began this little adventure on my profile on my first dating site, don't bother searching for it as it's long since been deleted.
So my one takeaway from all of this is that as much as you might want the one in your life there is no guarantee that life is going to see things your way and bring them to you......
I'll admit there are times I'm so frustrated by it all that I just want to toss in the towel, say "Fuck it", and make my unofficial vow of celibacy official.........
But than I'll be out running an errand and I'll see a couple so obviously in love, that head over heels, moon floating high in the sky, kind of attraction where they just look at one another with the knowledge that anything goes......
That always seems to bring me back to my own desire to have someone in my life.
Do I need someone in my life?
No, I've managed well on my own, bought a couple of cars, a house, put some money away for my son's university tuition, my own retirement, taken a vacation or two, and even had a golf membership along the way.
Life has been good but I know it could be better and that's what I want....the better than good that being part of something special can bring.....that mathematically incorrect formula where one plus one equals far more than the two we've come to expect.....
I want someone to drunk dial me at 2 am after a night out with her girls and tell me to get my cute ass over to her place.
I want someone to show up at my place on a Sunday morning with warm croissants and a cup of French Vanilla coffee for me as we cuddle and talk about everything that crosses our minds.
There are times I feel like just chucking it all in, blog included, and then ask myself where else can I get such cheap therapy sessions that might help me finally get over the crap in my head and make some progress in life.
I sincerely hope some of the entries have been more help to you than they've been to me in finding that person who is perfectly imperfect for you.
There is one, maybe two or three, for all of us and they say timing is everything.
Damn those "they's" and the logic of timing lol
My name is Marcus and I'm tired of being alone, but not so tired that I'd willingly enter into a relationship so I could have someone in my life, that wouldn't be fair to myself or honest with them.
I don't have any more of a clue today than I did yesterday or will probably have tomorrow if I'm going to ever meet my one, but I was so close once before that I know the possibility exists for me to grab that brass ring again, if just all the star perfectly align as the moon crests full in the night sky.
Sounds like I might be overreaching a bit and asking for too much doesn't it?
Maybe I am and Karma will come along and bitch slap me back to reality.......but there is also the outside chance that I might just run into her at Loblaws reaching for the same box of cereal or bump into her at Chapters looking at recent releases or if I'm really lucky, at the Kevin Haime Golf Centre where we both go to work on our short game and end up chatting about the proper way to read a green. God only knows what could happen if I just keep an open mind.
So no matter how frustrated or sad I might get at times, I'm going to do my best to remember that without any effort on my part nothing will ever come to pass as I'd like..........
Questions and comments welcome as always at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Tonight's musical suggestion is Snow Patrol's reworked "Chasing Cars" and the YouTube link is right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEeTaF7unrc
Here's to another 6 years but hopefully some of those future blog posts might be about my new girlfriend and awesome relationship where we both enjoy making the other smile and tease each other with little kisses......it could happen
Sunday, April 7, 2019
Comments on the Blog Entries
Sunday, April 07/19
So I've been trying to do a better job in both responding to emails sent to the blog email account at ooasm2018@gmail.com and those posted directly to an entry itself.
One thing I noticed was some of the direct comments seem to have little hidden links on key words so please don't click on them as I have no clue where they might redirect you and have no connection to these links in any way. In fact, I've been going through and deleting those I do find as that isn't how we roll in this shire. Yes, a Lord of the Rings quote!
The best bet is to just use the email address and if you want the message posted as a blog entry with my response than just let me know and I'll see what I can do but no promises, thought I think I rarely decline to respond that way so the odds are in your favour :)
Marcus
So I've been trying to do a better job in both responding to emails sent to the blog email account at ooasm2018@gmail.com and those posted directly to an entry itself.
One thing I noticed was some of the direct comments seem to have little hidden links on key words so please don't click on them as I have no clue where they might redirect you and have no connection to these links in any way. In fact, I've been going through and deleting those I do find as that isn't how we roll in this shire. Yes, a Lord of the Rings quote!
The best bet is to just use the email address and if you want the message posted as a blog entry with my response than just let me know and I'll see what I can do but no promises, thought I think I rarely decline to respond that way so the odds are in your favour :)
Marcus
Justin Trudeau is Wrong!
Sunday, April 07/19
No, this isn't about the debacle that is the SNC Lavalin affair, though I should probably write a blog about it to counter some of the stories I've read on my Facebook about how it's much ado about nothing. It isn't much ado about nothing, it's all about respecting the system and separation of the executive branch from meddling with the judicial branch but that isn't what I'm talking about.
When the Liberals ran for office in 2015 they made promises to a host of groups in order to win votes and come back into power.
They've partially fulfilled some of those promises and ignored some others.
The indigenous peoples are still suffering from low employment and horrendous living conditions.
Our veterans still have to wait long time frames to get assistance, when they can even get it.
Our esteemed Prime Minister, insert sarcastic tone of voice here, recently was asked about the veterans and how underfunded the programs are that were created to help them and with a straight face he responded at a town hall by saying "They ask too much of us"......
Really? This from a silver spoon aristocrat from Montreal who has never held a real job or served in the military.
I've had the great fortune to know more than a few members of the Canadian Forces, might even have dated one or two over the years, and even had the honour of attending the Army Ball once a upon a time.
They ask not for too much, they respond to the call of duty when presented with a challenge.
They leave family and hearth to stand watch thousands of miles from home without complaint.
They make do with obsolete equipment that has other armed forces laughing at them.
They stand willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in order to make the world a better place and safeguard the rights we at times take so lightly. Many have left our shores for duty elsewhere and not all have come home, some of those who have returned have not done so in whole.
They ask for nothing more than was promised them Mister Prime Minister.
So the next time you offer up compensation for a convicted terrorist think about where that blood money can better be spent on those making it possible for you to prance around in costumes while making state visits.
The next time you open our borders to refugees without doing real homework on the cost ask yourself if you've done enough for our own people before writing cheques off of our accounts.
I've always prided myself on voting for the best candidate when entering the polling station regardless of party affiliation but come this October you'll have to force my hand to vote for any Liberal candidate in my own riding as I'll be damned if I'll do a single thing to keep that trumped up little peacock in office one day longer than necessary.
Is Canada better off with the conservatives back in power? Probably not and that is the problem when you only have a choice between the right (Conservatives) and the left (Liberals) when choosing who will run the country. It's unfortunate that there is no proven middle ground party at this stage to balance the other two out but maybe we'll get lucky some day.
My name is Marcus and this is my little rant on the uselessness of Justin Trudeau as PM of Canada.
No, this isn't about the debacle that is the SNC Lavalin affair, though I should probably write a blog about it to counter some of the stories I've read on my Facebook about how it's much ado about nothing. It isn't much ado about nothing, it's all about respecting the system and separation of the executive branch from meddling with the judicial branch but that isn't what I'm talking about.
When the Liberals ran for office in 2015 they made promises to a host of groups in order to win votes and come back into power.
They've partially fulfilled some of those promises and ignored some others.
The indigenous peoples are still suffering from low employment and horrendous living conditions.
Our veterans still have to wait long time frames to get assistance, when they can even get it.
Our esteemed Prime Minister, insert sarcastic tone of voice here, recently was asked about the veterans and how underfunded the programs are that were created to help them and with a straight face he responded at a town hall by saying "They ask too much of us"......
Really? This from a silver spoon aristocrat from Montreal who has never held a real job or served in the military.
I've had the great fortune to know more than a few members of the Canadian Forces, might even have dated one or two over the years, and even had the honour of attending the Army Ball once a upon a time.
They ask not for too much, they respond to the call of duty when presented with a challenge.
They leave family and hearth to stand watch thousands of miles from home without complaint.
They make do with obsolete equipment that has other armed forces laughing at them.
They stand willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in order to make the world a better place and safeguard the rights we at times take so lightly. Many have left our shores for duty elsewhere and not all have come home, some of those who have returned have not done so in whole.
They ask for nothing more than was promised them Mister Prime Minister.
So the next time you offer up compensation for a convicted terrorist think about where that blood money can better be spent on those making it possible for you to prance around in costumes while making state visits.
The next time you open our borders to refugees without doing real homework on the cost ask yourself if you've done enough for our own people before writing cheques off of our accounts.
I've always prided myself on voting for the best candidate when entering the polling station regardless of party affiliation but come this October you'll have to force my hand to vote for any Liberal candidate in my own riding as I'll be damned if I'll do a single thing to keep that trumped up little peacock in office one day longer than necessary.
Is Canada better off with the conservatives back in power? Probably not and that is the problem when you only have a choice between the right (Conservatives) and the left (Liberals) when choosing who will run the country. It's unfortunate that there is no proven middle ground party at this stage to balance the other two out but maybe we'll get lucky some day.
My name is Marcus and this is my little rant on the uselessness of Justin Trudeau as PM of Canada.
One of those Sunday's for sure..........
Sunday, April 07/19
So with this being our year end at work and my role as a Business Analyst supporting the accounting team in all matters related to the new software my weekend has been all about being on call answering emails and texts about issues.
That combined with the approaching end of the university term for my son and the building stress of papers coming due and writing final exams has meant I've been keeping close to home this weekend so as to support both of these diametrically opposite demands on my time.
Having said that, I've been doing a lot of reading and YouTube watching around everything else going on.
My reading is still focused on romantic stories more than anything else, yes my man card has been cut in half and burned by a roving band of Alpha males so no comments needed from the peanut gallery please.
The YouTube watching has been more diversified of late, lots of music videos coupled with some Married at First Sight videos as well. Who knew Jamie and Doug would end up so in love with a cute little family from such a rocky start. I know I didn't see that one coming and I have to admit the optimist in me takes great delight in such an outcome.
This morning I came across a video by Omeleto about a guy who decides to try dating offline, by that he means to meet women around him in his day to day life without depending on any of the dozens of websites or apps to be found on our phone. It was kind of interesting and I applaud his efforts as more often then not he was shot down but there were a few successes as well.
The one video that made me smile wasn't romantic at all but did make me think about life and relationships. It is a short drama titled "Whispers among Wolves" and I found it quite captivating and hope you do to should you decide to take a gamble on it. I've attached the link to it below.
Whispers Among Wolves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGJqY3zQFXg
Seems Omeleto has quite a few short films posted that cover a number of genres, from romance to drama to comedy.
If you've got a couple of minutes to kill I highly recommend the one noted above as well as the following:
Reception - Romance Short film, made me smile and root for the ending I wanted
Proposal - Romance Short Film, the tables get turned, at first that is
Sometimes we can gain inspiration and happiness from the most unlikely of places.......
My name is Marcus and my efforts continue to be a good father, co-worker, friend, to hit the perfect wedge from 115 yards, and to hopefully meet the one woman who is imperfectly perfect for me.
Questions and comments are always welcome at the blog email address: ooasm2018@gmail.com
Today's musical suggestion is "If You Want My Love" by Cheap Trick. Pretty much says it all where I am concerned :-)
So with this being our year end at work and my role as a Business Analyst supporting the accounting team in all matters related to the new software my weekend has been all about being on call answering emails and texts about issues.
That combined with the approaching end of the university term for my son and the building stress of papers coming due and writing final exams has meant I've been keeping close to home this weekend so as to support both of these diametrically opposite demands on my time.
Having said that, I've been doing a lot of reading and YouTube watching around everything else going on.
My reading is still focused on romantic stories more than anything else, yes my man card has been cut in half and burned by a roving band of Alpha males so no comments needed from the peanut gallery please.
The YouTube watching has been more diversified of late, lots of music videos coupled with some Married at First Sight videos as well. Who knew Jamie and Doug would end up so in love with a cute little family from such a rocky start. I know I didn't see that one coming and I have to admit the optimist in me takes great delight in such an outcome.
This morning I came across a video by Omeleto about a guy who decides to try dating offline, by that he means to meet women around him in his day to day life without depending on any of the dozens of websites or apps to be found on our phone. It was kind of interesting and I applaud his efforts as more often then not he was shot down but there were a few successes as well.
The one video that made me smile wasn't romantic at all but did make me think about life and relationships. It is a short drama titled "Whispers among Wolves" and I found it quite captivating and hope you do to should you decide to take a gamble on it. I've attached the link to it below.
Whispers Among Wolves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGJqY3zQFXg
Seems Omeleto has quite a few short films posted that cover a number of genres, from romance to drama to comedy.
If you've got a couple of minutes to kill I highly recommend the one noted above as well as the following:
Reception - Romance Short film, made me smile and root for the ending I wanted
Proposal - Romance Short Film, the tables get turned, at first that is
Sometimes we can gain inspiration and happiness from the most unlikely of places.......
My name is Marcus and my efforts continue to be a good father, co-worker, friend, to hit the perfect wedge from 115 yards, and to hopefully meet the one woman who is imperfectly perfect for me.
Questions and comments are always welcome at the blog email address: ooasm2018@gmail.com
Today's musical suggestion is "If You Want My Love" by Cheap Trick. Pretty much says it all where I am concerned :-)
Wednesday, April 3, 2019
Awesome News For My Ex :)
Wednesday, April 03/19
So my son has been working on setting up a guys vacation down in the Dominican Republic with a group of friends he's known since high school.
It was his goal to pay for the trip himself but I spoke with my ex and we agreed to split the cost 3 ways so he doesn't have to use too much of his savings. He wasn't too happy at first but we've convinced him to let us make it part of our birthday gifts to him for his 20th.
Used to be when he got done with a year of school we'd get him something nice as a way of letting him know how much we appreciated all the hard work he put into his studies but now being at university has sort of thrown a wrench into that and this gives us an opportunity to help him relax with his buddies before he starts his summer helping to run a soccer camp for one of the local soccer clubs our family has been part of over the years.
As part of the planning process he was dealing with a travel agent and my ex forwarded me one of the chains so I could get an idea of where he was looking to go and what the costs might be.
I guess somewhere along the way she got to chatting with the travel agent about some plans for herself related to next year and I read those as well. What? they were part of the email she sent me so it wasn't like I was snooping around, it wasn't!!
Well one of things that got my eye on her thread was the phrase "destination wedding"......
So I decided to tease her and sent a text asking "Is there anything you'd like to share with me?"
She texted back "Nope, not much going on, the kids are great, don't think I'm golfing this year due to my back issues. What's up with you?"
"Really?, that's how you are going to play this off with me....."
"Marcus. what are you talking about???"
"Well I was hoping he'd have at least asked my permission first!!"
"Asked your permission first for what? Who should have asked you? You are really confusing me now, are you on pain medication for your foot?"
"OMG! No, I'm not on pain medication, well not much lol. Are you going somewhere next year in February??"
There was a long pause after I sent that message and lots of little bubbles signifying she started and stopped writing a response several times.
Finally I got this "I'm getting married next year"
"I know"
"I wanted to tell you in person and not have you find out in an email"
"Don't be silly, I'm very happy for you and think you and T make a great couple"
"Thank you, you don't know how much I like hearing you say that. Are you shocked given how I said I'd never marry again?"
I laughed when I read that and sent her back a smiley face along with "Someone once told me to never say never and I've tried to remember that line for the last twenty years or so"
"Damn you, I told you that not ever thinking it would be used back at me lol"
"I am truly very happy for you and know you are happier now than you've been in years so embrace it and enjoy yourself"
"You are going to make me cry and then I've got to explain why to T"
She then sent me another quick one before I could reply to her last one "Do you think you'll ever marry again?"
"I came close in 2015 to popping the question to Corinna"
"Holy Shit!! Why didn't I know about this? Did the kids know?"
"No, things went south on me before I could actually talk to our kids or her sons so I never bothered mentioning it until you asked me just now"
"I'm sorry, I hope this doesn't bring up old wounds, you know you're a great guy and there is a woman out there just dying to meet you right?"
"Thanks. This is why I like you as one of my close friends, we've always been able to talk and have each others back when needed"
"Maybe but it's always seemed like you've done more to have my back than I've done to have yours Marcus"
"Nonsense, you've always given me good advice and I never want that to stop. Now go tell your fiance I said congratulations and he's paying for a round at Loch March this summer!"
"He said deal :)"
So as odd as this may sound to some of you reading the blog, I really am super happy for her as well as her fiance. Things didn't work out for us as a couple but we've been fantastic co-parents and I know if I was ever in a jam she'd be there for me. When I had the cancer scare last year she spent hours researching the various treatments, side effects, survival rates and was the one who drove me to the hospital the day of my surgery. Can't ask for better than that from an ex.
It did sort of remind me how close I came to asking Corinna to be my wife and that did hurt a bit when I thought back on it. Sometimes those who you love can make you want to cry now and then but I always try and offset that with memories of our times together and that look we would share that said it all to one another.
My name is Marcus and I doubt I'll ever be tempted to take that walk again but I'll also never say never and you just never know what the future has in store for you...........
Questions and comments always welcome - ooasm2018@gmail.com
Today's musical suggestion is "Clair de lune" by Debussy. Listening to this one both makes me want to cry and smile at the same time.
So my son has been working on setting up a guys vacation down in the Dominican Republic with a group of friends he's known since high school.
It was his goal to pay for the trip himself but I spoke with my ex and we agreed to split the cost 3 ways so he doesn't have to use too much of his savings. He wasn't too happy at first but we've convinced him to let us make it part of our birthday gifts to him for his 20th.
Used to be when he got done with a year of school we'd get him something nice as a way of letting him know how much we appreciated all the hard work he put into his studies but now being at university has sort of thrown a wrench into that and this gives us an opportunity to help him relax with his buddies before he starts his summer helping to run a soccer camp for one of the local soccer clubs our family has been part of over the years.
As part of the planning process he was dealing with a travel agent and my ex forwarded me one of the chains so I could get an idea of where he was looking to go and what the costs might be.
I guess somewhere along the way she got to chatting with the travel agent about some plans for herself related to next year and I read those as well. What? they were part of the email she sent me so it wasn't like I was snooping around, it wasn't!!
Well one of things that got my eye on her thread was the phrase "destination wedding"......
So I decided to tease her and sent a text asking "Is there anything you'd like to share with me?"
She texted back "Nope, not much going on, the kids are great, don't think I'm golfing this year due to my back issues. What's up with you?"
"Really?, that's how you are going to play this off with me....."
"Marcus. what are you talking about???"
"Well I was hoping he'd have at least asked my permission first!!"
"Asked your permission first for what? Who should have asked you? You are really confusing me now, are you on pain medication for your foot?"
"OMG! No, I'm not on pain medication, well not much lol. Are you going somewhere next year in February??"
There was a long pause after I sent that message and lots of little bubbles signifying she started and stopped writing a response several times.
Finally I got this "I'm getting married next year"
"I know"
"I wanted to tell you in person and not have you find out in an email"
"Don't be silly, I'm very happy for you and think you and T make a great couple"
"Thank you, you don't know how much I like hearing you say that. Are you shocked given how I said I'd never marry again?"
I laughed when I read that and sent her back a smiley face along with "Someone once told me to never say never and I've tried to remember that line for the last twenty years or so"
"Damn you, I told you that not ever thinking it would be used back at me lol"
"I am truly very happy for you and know you are happier now than you've been in years so embrace it and enjoy yourself"
"You are going to make me cry and then I've got to explain why to T"
She then sent me another quick one before I could reply to her last one "Do you think you'll ever marry again?"
"I came close in 2015 to popping the question to Corinna"
"Holy Shit!! Why didn't I know about this? Did the kids know?"
"No, things went south on me before I could actually talk to our kids or her sons so I never bothered mentioning it until you asked me just now"
"I'm sorry, I hope this doesn't bring up old wounds, you know you're a great guy and there is a woman out there just dying to meet you right?"
"Thanks. This is why I like you as one of my close friends, we've always been able to talk and have each others back when needed"
"Maybe but it's always seemed like you've done more to have my back than I've done to have yours Marcus"
"Nonsense, you've always given me good advice and I never want that to stop. Now go tell your fiance I said congratulations and he's paying for a round at Loch March this summer!"
"He said deal :)"
So as odd as this may sound to some of you reading the blog, I really am super happy for her as well as her fiance. Things didn't work out for us as a couple but we've been fantastic co-parents and I know if I was ever in a jam she'd be there for me. When I had the cancer scare last year she spent hours researching the various treatments, side effects, survival rates and was the one who drove me to the hospital the day of my surgery. Can't ask for better than that from an ex.
It did sort of remind me how close I came to asking Corinna to be my wife and that did hurt a bit when I thought back on it. Sometimes those who you love can make you want to cry now and then but I always try and offset that with memories of our times together and that look we would share that said it all to one another.
My name is Marcus and I doubt I'll ever be tempted to take that walk again but I'll also never say never and you just never know what the future has in store for you...........
Questions and comments always welcome - ooasm2018@gmail.com
Today's musical suggestion is "Clair de lune" by Debussy. Listening to this one both makes me want to cry and smile at the same time.
Tuesday, April 2, 2019
Some Recent History
Tuesday, April 02/19
So a little while back I referenced some changes that had happened in my life but begged off going into details due to some ongoing negotiations and promised some clarity once things were resolved.
Well guess what? it's that time now..........
Last year was kind of a bad year for me both in terms of my physical and mental health.
I had the cancer scare that was the physical end of things and my mental health suffered from it and was also impacted by my feelings towards work.
When I went back to work after my medical leave I found myself feeling more and more outside the mainstream of things and it made me miserable, almost to the point where I dreaded getting up in the morning and making the drive into work. I wasn't happy with my scope of duties or how I was treated by my senior managers, that had really been building since early 2017 when I was pretty much screwed over at bonus time, being told that I hadn't done enough to stand out compared to my peers. Now if I really hadn't done enough to stand out I'd be the first to admit it as I try my best to live in the real world and have on more than one occasion put on my big boy pants and admitted when I wasn't giving my all in past positions. That wasn't the case here since I actually covered off my own position but covered off for the controllers roles before we hired one and then performed all the duties of the accounts receivable position for a month while we looked to replace the one who quit on the spur of the moment and walked out. Now if that wasn't enough to be recognized I'd have been okay, well sort of pissed but I could have lived with it, but when two new hires who should not have qualified for a bonus due to not being part of the organization for the required six months were granted bonuses it sort of made me realize that no matter what I did my career path was limited.
My problem? Well I'm not a millennial, not under the age of 30, and I have a penis.
Sounds kind of funny but I was actually told my first week on the job that I would never had made it to the interview stage had I not known the CFO from a prior position. When I asked why that was, the response was that the target employee was a female millennial so the organization could continue to right the wrongs of society. I am not kidding when I say that, it's word for word what the human resources rep told me as she was doing my orientation.
So combine that little nugget with being pretty much ignored upon my return even though I was part of a five member team and you can see where disillusionment might start to develop.
Over the next few months, July to early October, I started to realize that I needed to make a change or my health was going to suffer and had actually started to update my resume and was getting ready to activate my Indeed profile when the organization beat me to it and told me they were eliminating my position as part of a restructuring.
Now normally that should make a person mad but they did me a huge favour by escalating my timeline. They offered me a severance package that was laughable and than seemed sort of miffed when I didn't sign it right away but my parents didn't raise a fool.
I mentioned to my ex what happened and her first words were "see a lawyer as given your age and recent medical history, this seems a bit fishy". When I mentioned it to a friend who had worked with both myself and the CFO at another position she also advised me to seek a legal opinion.
Well I did and we ended up in mediation over the cause and severance.
I can't disclose any details due to the NDA signed by both parties but I can say my actual net settlement is larger than the initial gross severance they offered me.
I was off work from November to late January when I applied for an Intercompany Accountant position with the company my former controller was working at as VP Finance. I'd been applying to a lot of positions over those 3 months and was getting lots of interest but it wasn't until late January that things seemed to heat up for me, with five second interviews.
I initially resisted applying there due to the product and my own belief about it but she kept sending me emails and texts to apply as it is a growing business that offers a lot of wonderful opportunities.
I finally bit the bullet and applied online but didn't tell her that I was as I'm not comfortable playing off the connections and people I know, sounds kind of silly but it was what it was.
I went through an initial telephone interview and must have impressed as they set up a face to face in the Kanata office. I went in thinking I was being interviewed for one position only to have them discuss something else entirely. The corporate accounting manager and AP Manager interviewed me and mentioned this other position as a Business Analyst supporting the accounting team with the integration of Sage X3 from Oracle Netsuite, neither of which I've ever worked on before I pointed out to them, they smiled and told me that KAM had suggested me for the position as she knew I was more than capable of doing the job and more. KAM was my old controller 3 jobs ago in case you were wondering. I hadn't listed her or the current VP of Human Resources, my old HR manager from that same job as with KAM, on my application nor mentioned I knew either of them but it seems the screening software they use for online applications notes when someone is applying from a company any of the executive team has worked at in the past so they can be asked about potential employees.
So in the middle of my interview with K & S in comes KAM to see if I've agreed to the other position. They all laughed at the expression on my face and KAM smiled at me and reminded me that she'd been trying to get me to apply for the last three years and she wasn't taking no for an answer.
The funny thing is that the same time I was interviewing at KAM's company I was going through second interviews with a real estate development company and a television production company for finance manager positions. The same day I received the offer on my current position the other two called with offers as well, when it rains it pours right?
So for the past 2 1/2 months I've been working my ass off and loving every minute of it, it's like I've been recharged with a passion for my job again, both my son and daughter have commented on how much happier I seem these days. In the past I've resisted pushing work email to my cell phone but because of my role in the group it was one of the first things I did so I could stay on top of things and I am embracing all the opportunities coming my way.
Best part is I'm literally a 10 minute drive to work on a normal day and 15 minutes with bad weather, compared to the hour one way at the old job on a good day and 90+ minutes on snow days.
I actually managed to get offered a better salary and have some serious stock options, they won't vest for a year and I can only exercise 1/3 each year over the next 3 years but people I work with have told me it's like getting another years salary when you do sell that 1/3. Me thinks there might be a holiday in my future next year.
So here I am employee #3044 working with two former managers who are employees #19 and #128 respectively and life couldn't be better.
Oh did I mention the accounting team I'm part of numbers around 65 and is populated with some amazing people who have really made me feel like I'm part of something special. To top things off around 6 people golf and we've already talked about getting in some rounds at The Marshes golf course that we can see from our 8th floor offices.
I wasn't planning on making this change so suddenly but sometimes things happen for a reason and they work out perfectly.
That's what has happened for me and I'm grateful for everything coming my way.
It's also opened my eyes to dating once again as the towers our offices are located in have several thousand people working in them and thus offer some new possibilities.
My name is Marcus and life has changed for me over the last year, some of it was kind of scary, some could have been scary, but in the end I'm in a pretty good place and now just need to meet that someone special to share it with........it's going to happen in 2019 :)
Questions and comments are always welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
I was reviewing some of the old posts and realized some had comments from readers, apologies for not noticing this earlier and I promise to do a better job of staying current with them going forward.
Today's musical suggestion is "Give Up The Funk" from Parliaments 1975 Mothership Collection. Sometimes you've just got to let that 70's funk play through your system lol
So a little while back I referenced some changes that had happened in my life but begged off going into details due to some ongoing negotiations and promised some clarity once things were resolved.
Well guess what? it's that time now..........
Last year was kind of a bad year for me both in terms of my physical and mental health.
I had the cancer scare that was the physical end of things and my mental health suffered from it and was also impacted by my feelings towards work.
When I went back to work after my medical leave I found myself feeling more and more outside the mainstream of things and it made me miserable, almost to the point where I dreaded getting up in the morning and making the drive into work. I wasn't happy with my scope of duties or how I was treated by my senior managers, that had really been building since early 2017 when I was pretty much screwed over at bonus time, being told that I hadn't done enough to stand out compared to my peers. Now if I really hadn't done enough to stand out I'd be the first to admit it as I try my best to live in the real world and have on more than one occasion put on my big boy pants and admitted when I wasn't giving my all in past positions. That wasn't the case here since I actually covered off my own position but covered off for the controllers roles before we hired one and then performed all the duties of the accounts receivable position for a month while we looked to replace the one who quit on the spur of the moment and walked out. Now if that wasn't enough to be recognized I'd have been okay, well sort of pissed but I could have lived with it, but when two new hires who should not have qualified for a bonus due to not being part of the organization for the required six months were granted bonuses it sort of made me realize that no matter what I did my career path was limited.
My problem? Well I'm not a millennial, not under the age of 30, and I have a penis.
Sounds kind of funny but I was actually told my first week on the job that I would never had made it to the interview stage had I not known the CFO from a prior position. When I asked why that was, the response was that the target employee was a female millennial so the organization could continue to right the wrongs of society. I am not kidding when I say that, it's word for word what the human resources rep told me as she was doing my orientation.
So combine that little nugget with being pretty much ignored upon my return even though I was part of a five member team and you can see where disillusionment might start to develop.
Over the next few months, July to early October, I started to realize that I needed to make a change or my health was going to suffer and had actually started to update my resume and was getting ready to activate my Indeed profile when the organization beat me to it and told me they were eliminating my position as part of a restructuring.
Now normally that should make a person mad but they did me a huge favour by escalating my timeline. They offered me a severance package that was laughable and than seemed sort of miffed when I didn't sign it right away but my parents didn't raise a fool.
I mentioned to my ex what happened and her first words were "see a lawyer as given your age and recent medical history, this seems a bit fishy". When I mentioned it to a friend who had worked with both myself and the CFO at another position she also advised me to seek a legal opinion.
Well I did and we ended up in mediation over the cause and severance.
I can't disclose any details due to the NDA signed by both parties but I can say my actual net settlement is larger than the initial gross severance they offered me.
I was off work from November to late January when I applied for an Intercompany Accountant position with the company my former controller was working at as VP Finance. I'd been applying to a lot of positions over those 3 months and was getting lots of interest but it wasn't until late January that things seemed to heat up for me, with five second interviews.
I initially resisted applying there due to the product and my own belief about it but she kept sending me emails and texts to apply as it is a growing business that offers a lot of wonderful opportunities.
I finally bit the bullet and applied online but didn't tell her that I was as I'm not comfortable playing off the connections and people I know, sounds kind of silly but it was what it was.
I went through an initial telephone interview and must have impressed as they set up a face to face in the Kanata office. I went in thinking I was being interviewed for one position only to have them discuss something else entirely. The corporate accounting manager and AP Manager interviewed me and mentioned this other position as a Business Analyst supporting the accounting team with the integration of Sage X3 from Oracle Netsuite, neither of which I've ever worked on before I pointed out to them, they smiled and told me that KAM had suggested me for the position as she knew I was more than capable of doing the job and more. KAM was my old controller 3 jobs ago in case you were wondering. I hadn't listed her or the current VP of Human Resources, my old HR manager from that same job as with KAM, on my application nor mentioned I knew either of them but it seems the screening software they use for online applications notes when someone is applying from a company any of the executive team has worked at in the past so they can be asked about potential employees.
So in the middle of my interview with K & S in comes KAM to see if I've agreed to the other position. They all laughed at the expression on my face and KAM smiled at me and reminded me that she'd been trying to get me to apply for the last three years and she wasn't taking no for an answer.
The funny thing is that the same time I was interviewing at KAM's company I was going through second interviews with a real estate development company and a television production company for finance manager positions. The same day I received the offer on my current position the other two called with offers as well, when it rains it pours right?
So for the past 2 1/2 months I've been working my ass off and loving every minute of it, it's like I've been recharged with a passion for my job again, both my son and daughter have commented on how much happier I seem these days. In the past I've resisted pushing work email to my cell phone but because of my role in the group it was one of the first things I did so I could stay on top of things and I am embracing all the opportunities coming my way.
Best part is I'm literally a 10 minute drive to work on a normal day and 15 minutes with bad weather, compared to the hour one way at the old job on a good day and 90+ minutes on snow days.
I actually managed to get offered a better salary and have some serious stock options, they won't vest for a year and I can only exercise 1/3 each year over the next 3 years but people I work with have told me it's like getting another years salary when you do sell that 1/3. Me thinks there might be a holiday in my future next year.
So here I am employee #3044 working with two former managers who are employees #19 and #128 respectively and life couldn't be better.
Oh did I mention the accounting team I'm part of numbers around 65 and is populated with some amazing people who have really made me feel like I'm part of something special. To top things off around 6 people golf and we've already talked about getting in some rounds at The Marshes golf course that we can see from our 8th floor offices.
I wasn't planning on making this change so suddenly but sometimes things happen for a reason and they work out perfectly.
That's what has happened for me and I'm grateful for everything coming my way.
It's also opened my eyes to dating once again as the towers our offices are located in have several thousand people working in them and thus offer some new possibilities.
My name is Marcus and life has changed for me over the last year, some of it was kind of scary, some could have been scary, but in the end I'm in a pretty good place and now just need to meet that someone special to share it with........it's going to happen in 2019 :)
Questions and comments are always welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
I was reviewing some of the old posts and realized some had comments from readers, apologies for not noticing this earlier and I promise to do a better job of staying current with them going forward.
Today's musical suggestion is "Give Up The Funk" from Parliaments 1975 Mothership Collection. Sometimes you've just got to let that 70's funk play through your system lol
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)