Choices

Saturday, April 27/19

This is one of those blog entries that seems to come alive on it's own out of my own current feelings, so it could end up being a long one or short as I'm totally free styling it as I sit here.......

We make choices from the moment we come into the world until the moment we take our last breathe and depart it.

These choices are made consciously and subconsciously.

Conscious choices are as simple as what to wear to work to what we want to have for dinner.

Subconscious choices are made without any notice on our part, sort of the reason we refer to them as subconscious in that they require little to no thought to accomplish, for most of us the simple act of putting on our seat belts has now become something we subconsciously do the moment we sit down in our car.

Choices begin the moment we take our first breathe out of the womb, though those are more subconscious than anything else, and evolve over time to far more complicated decisions that impact not only ourselves but those bot close to us and complete strangers as well.

Who we choose to be friends with when we begin school, who we find attractive enough to warrant making a move to get to know them better, which sports or after school activities to pursue, to which university to attend, if we even decide to follow that path, to the career we decide to follow are all choices we make, that impact us, our families, our friends, and those we might not even know.

My decision to turn down employment opportunities not once, not twice, but three times with Bankers Trust meant that three other individuals had opportunities develop that they might not have otherwise been offered, people who didn't know me nor I them, but impact them I did.

My decision to move to Ottawa opened up a position for someone at the company I was leaving and taking the one I did here meant someone else might have lost out, again impacting someone I haven't ever met.

The choice I made to move from Southern California probably ranks among the biggest I've ever made as it eventually led  to some life altering changes in my life, becoming a father to an adorable little girl, the arrival of my son, and now the inclusion of my grandson, all choices that I made at one part that led to something else happening.

The choices we make have a ripple effect across time. Consider this, if I had not decided to move to Ottawa my son would not have been born in his current form, he might have been the byproduct of another partner and thus not who he is today, the lessons I learned from being his father might not have been the same ones I'd have learned from having a son with someone else, his own views on sports or school could have been totally different with another man as his father. My grandson might never have been born as maybe my daughter doesn't get the support from another man her mother might have ended up with, or maybe she would have done even better than she did with me in her life as things turned out, not saying I'm a bad father but the logic is there that she could have done better and she could have done worse, all things considered.

Some choices are made for us without even involving our direct participation. Being on the receiving end of a break up is one such event, losing a job due to the company downsizing is another, things that directly impact us over which we have little to no say.

Choices can bring joy or sadness, sometimes they can bring both with a separation of time between the two polar opposites. The end of my marriage caused me some sadness but also led me to become more independent and make the choice to focus on being a better parent, something that has truly brought me intense joy over the years. The choice to put myself out there in the dating pool was a byproduct of the end of that marriage and also gave me the opportunity to meet Corrine and understand how much I still had to offer someone and accept from them in return.

I've made good choices and bad choices, choices I've made impacted others, choices made by others have impacted me both directly and indirectly, that is the reality of choices.

Choices aren't made in a vacuum and have consequences, we hope these are for the better but sometimes what is good for us or someone we care about isn't so good for another person. Hell, even the choices we do follow might be bad for us but because we care for someone else we are willing to make them knowing it might benefit them to a far greater degree than it hurts us.

Choices....we all make them.....we are all a product of the choices we make as well as those made by others.....

My name is Marcus and I've made more than my fair share of choices and probably have a few more in me to make over the coming years. I'm doing my best to make sure I make good choices and one of the most important ones will hopefully centre around meeting my one......

Today's musical suggestion is "Lonesome" by Shaed.

I've got a couple of other blog entries in the hopper, it's been a crazy 2 weeks with year end at work and my son prepping to write his final exams being my main focus, now that he is done and my part of year end has passed I'm hoping to get some free time to get back to the blog, well here's hoping.

Questions and comments are welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com