Wednesday, April 03/19
So my son has been working on setting up a guys vacation down in the Dominican Republic with a group of friends he's known since high school.
It was his goal to pay for the trip himself but I spoke with my ex and we agreed to split the cost 3 ways so he doesn't have to use too much of his savings. He wasn't too happy at first but we've convinced him to let us make it part of our birthday gifts to him for his 20th.
Used to be when he got done with a year of school we'd get him something nice as a way of letting him know how much we appreciated all the hard work he put into his studies but now being at university has sort of thrown a wrench into that and this gives us an opportunity to help him relax with his buddies before he starts his summer helping to run a soccer camp for one of the local soccer clubs our family has been part of over the years.
As part of the planning process he was dealing with a travel agent and my ex forwarded me one of the chains so I could get an idea of where he was looking to go and what the costs might be.
I guess somewhere along the way she got to chatting with the travel agent about some plans for herself related to next year and I read those as well. What? they were part of the email she sent me so it wasn't like I was snooping around, it wasn't!!
Well one of things that got my eye on her thread was the phrase "destination wedding"......
So I decided to tease her and sent a text asking "Is there anything you'd like to share with me?"
She texted back "Nope, not much going on, the kids are great, don't think I'm golfing this year due to my back issues. What's up with you?"
"Really?, that's how you are going to play this off with me....."
"Marcus. what are you talking about???"
"Well I was hoping he'd have at least asked my permission first!!"
"Asked your permission first for what? Who should have asked you? You are really confusing me now, are you on pain medication for your foot?"
"OMG! No, I'm not on pain medication, well not much lol. Are you going somewhere next year in February??"
There was a long pause after I sent that message and lots of little bubbles signifying she started and stopped writing a response several times.
Finally I got this "I'm getting married next year"
"I know"
"I wanted to tell you in person and not have you find out in an email"
"Don't be silly, I'm very happy for you and think you and T make a great couple"
"Thank you, you don't know how much I like hearing you say that. Are you shocked given how I said I'd never marry again?"
I laughed when I read that and sent her back a smiley face along with "Someone once told me to never say never and I've tried to remember that line for the last twenty years or so"
"Damn you, I told you that not ever thinking it would be used back at me lol"
"I am truly very happy for you and know you are happier now than you've been in years so embrace it and enjoy yourself"
"You are going to make me cry and then I've got to explain why to T"
She then sent me another quick one before I could reply to her last one "Do you think you'll ever marry again?"
"I came close in 2015 to popping the question to Corinna"
"Holy Shit!! Why didn't I know about this? Did the kids know?"
"No, things went south on me before I could actually talk to our kids or her sons so I never bothered mentioning it until you asked me just now"
"I'm sorry, I hope this doesn't bring up old wounds, you know you're a great guy and there is a woman out there just dying to meet you right?"
"Thanks. This is why I like you as one of my close friends, we've always been able to talk and have each others back when needed"
"Maybe but it's always seemed like you've done more to have my back than I've done to have yours Marcus"
"Nonsense, you've always given me good advice and I never want that to stop. Now go tell your fiance I said congratulations and he's paying for a round at Loch March this summer!"
"He said deal :)"
So as odd as this may sound to some of you reading the blog, I really am super happy for her as well as her fiance. Things didn't work out for us as a couple but we've been fantastic co-parents and I know if I was ever in a jam she'd be there for me. When I had the cancer scare last year she spent hours researching the various treatments, side effects, survival rates and was the one who drove me to the hospital the day of my surgery. Can't ask for better than that from an ex.
It did sort of remind me how close I came to asking Corinna to be my wife and that did hurt a bit when I thought back on it. Sometimes those who you love can make you want to cry now and then but I always try and offset that with memories of our times together and that look we would share that said it all to one another.
My name is Marcus and I doubt I'll ever be tempted to take that walk again but I'll also never say never and you just never know what the future has in store for you...........
Questions and comments always welcome - ooasm2018@gmail.com
Today's musical suggestion is "Clair de lune" by Debussy. Listening to this one both makes me want to cry and smile at the same time.
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