Sunday, January 15/17
So yesterday was one of those days with my son I've come to really appreciate as it was filled with lots of smiles, laughter, joking around, and more than a few hugs.
Last week someone at work asked me who I am closer to my son or my daughter and I'd say my son as we've enjoyed a close relationship from day one whereas I came into my daughters life when she was 5 and had already established a very tight relationship with her mom since it had just been the two of them from her birth onwards.
Now that doesn't mean my daughter isn't just as important to me as my daughter but more how the two of them have acted with my ex and I over the years. When there is an issue in my daughters life she is much more likely to discuss it with her mom with the understanding that her mom is going to fill me in on whatever is going on with her. The same is pretty true with my son but also a little different as when something is bothering him and he's at his moms for that week she has learned not to push too deeply as it will just make him take a step back ,instead she'll send me a text or call me to give me a heads up that I can expect him to open up about something at some point over the weekend when he first makes the transition from her place to mine. Of course I return the favour and let her know what he issue is and we move on from there trying to help the two of them the best we can.
Yesterday saw his soccer team drawn 0-0 by one of the teams near last place but it was a well played game and as I told him afterwards on the drive home, those are the kinds of games I never minded losing as both teams played lights out and just couldn't get one past the other for a winning goal. Both teams played exceptionally well with lots of scoring opportunities that just weren't completed. He smiled and said he understood but still didn't like dropping points in the standing and once more I could see a bit of me in him and had to smile to myself.
We stopped at Loblaws on the way home so I could replenish the cupboards as his mom had warned me at soccer that he has had a huge appetite this week and might be at the front end of a growth spurt and I should be prepared for the return of the black hole which is what we jokingly refer to his stomach as when these moments come around.
As we were walking up to the front of the store he leaned over and softly said to me "Dad, can you say the suppositories we're buying are for you and not me" in the most deadpan voice possible.
I burst out laughing so hard and had tears in my eyes as I tried to keep walking and not respond to off the cuff comment.
All through our time in the store he'd give me the look now and again and mouth the words "pharmacy" to me just to make me laugh.
As we were going through checkout he suddenly exclaimed "Dad, wasn't there something you had to get in the pharmacy?" and gave me one of those Cheshire cat grins he is becoming known for.
The checker paused and asked if I needed to go and get anything and I told her I was good and that my son was confused about it as we'd already picked up the cream for his persistent rash. She sort of looked between the two of us and laughed as my said smiled and said "Well played, well played indeed sir"
There are times being the parent of a teenager is stressful and than there are those times like yesterday that remind me of just how awesome I've got it with my kids. Best decision I ever made was the one to move to Ottawa and have a family of my own.
On the flip side are those moments when he poses a question and it makes me really step back and take some serious time to think over what he is asking.
That happened on the way home from Loblaws and he commented on the abundance of "Open House" and "For Sale" signs that seem to have popped up lately. I told him that this is the time of year when people are starting to think about making changes and one of the biggest a person can make, besides having a child or entering into a committed relationship, is to buy or sell a home.
As we turned down our street he looked over at me and asked if seeing all of them bothered me at all.
I shook my head in the negative and asked why he thought it would.
He took a moment before responding , a sign he was giving his words some thought before speaking, and than said "Isn't this the year C was to be moving back to Ottawa and wasn't her plan to buy a place in the west end to be near work and you?"
I smiled at him and thought to myself how incredibly intuitive my son had become over the years.
"Yes, this is the year she is scheduled to return but I don't think she'll be looking in the west end for any reason other than being near work and her son, as I think he'll be staying with his dad in order to finish out high school without another disruption"
As I pulled into the driveway he looked at me and said "Life can be funny dad so don't be shocked if things don't go as you think they might"
I thought about those words and knew he was right. We can wish for a certain path all we want but life, or Karma should you choose to call it that, doesn't always go the way we think and more often than not ends up bitch slapping us when we least expect it.
I've been bitch slapped far more times than I care to admit but at least I can say I've never just folded up and walked away from the game we call life.
So it was this little brief exchange that led me to write the previous post about "A Thought......"
Sometimes we have control over the things in our lives and sometimes we don't.......and the kicker is that we don't always recognize which is which and because of that we might not think we have a chance to go back and try and right a wrong.........have you ever wondered if it's too late to change the direction you've taken due to a decision you made but later came to question and possibly regret?
My name is Marcus and there are more than a few times I wish I'd had the courage to reach out and see it would have been possible to alter the direction my lie has taken.......
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