Friday, June 19/2015
Today's song is "Enter Sandman" by Metallica
You have to watch the YouTube Video of this song where Metallica has teamed up with the San Francisco Philharmonic Orchestra as it is one of the best I've ever seen. Any time a performer or group can pair up with a orchestra or individual classical artist I'm all in.
So Wednesday night was one of those nights you come to dread as I was feeling really tired and ended up crashing around 9:30pm. Now it was a very restless sleep and saw me waking up around 4:15am to the sound of Moki standing next to my bed barking at me. Took me a second or two to figure out what was going on but as the fog of waking up wore off I realized I'd been having a very vivid dream and had woken up almost sobbing......
The dream came back in a flash and I'm not going to get into any of the details as they are quite personal and would leave me feeling far too vulnerable at this point than I'm comfortable with online.
I will say that it did involve C and some thoughts I'd had about why she ended things between us.
Now this almost closure isn't perfect and my thoughts aren't confirmed in any way yet I still have a sense of ease once more in my life, almost feels like life is moving forward and offers me some new options. Options not so much in the dating world as I'm still far too raw for that but more in the sense of being open to trying new things.
As my heart calmed down and I felt more relaxed, I sipped some water and pulled the blankets back to try and go back to sleep, Moki jumped up on my bed and curled herself into a ball at the foot as if to say she had my back and would make sure nothing else bad happened. Just before I fell asleep I saw her lift her head and look up at me as if to say "I miss her too but we'll get through this together dude"
I haven't golfed much given the job situation but did make plans to meet some friends next weekend for a round of golf and some overall ribbing. There is a lot to be said for being teased by buddies over a really bad shot.
Today is Friday and the weekend is here, Father's Day and all, so I'll be doing my dad thing once my son comes over after work, feels kind of good to be saying that once again.
For all the single mom's out there doing the parenting full time on your own, let me say Happy Father's Day to each and every one of you. It is tough being both parents but the rewards far outweigh any heartache.
Friday, June 19, 2015
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
The New Cycle Has Started!!!
Wednesday, June 17/2015
So recently I did a post about the Rule of Three's and how I was waiting for the 3rd thing to happen before changing my stance after a conversation with a friend and her take on the actual number of events that had happened to me.
Well today marks the beginning of a new cycle since I have rejoined the ranks of the employed!!!
Accepted an offer that pretty much puts me right where I was before compensation wise, doesn't require me to deal with a morally and ethically bankrupt sales team, and allows me to do some stuff I thought wasn't possible.
So just remember............it can happen
So recently I did a post about the Rule of Three's and how I was waiting for the 3rd thing to happen before changing my stance after a conversation with a friend and her take on the actual number of events that had happened to me.
Well today marks the beginning of a new cycle since I have rejoined the ranks of the employed!!!
Accepted an offer that pretty much puts me right where I was before compensation wise, doesn't require me to deal with a morally and ethically bankrupt sales team, and allows me to do some stuff I thought wasn't possible.
So just remember............it can happen
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
The Ah Ha Moment With A Doppleganger
Monday, June 15/2015
Today's song is "Heart Is A Drum" by Beck
So there is a TV show on Netflix that I recently discovered and have been binge watching since last Thursday called Taxi Brooklyn.
The premise of the show is that there is this female detective who can't drive without getting into an accident and enlists the help of a taxi driver to drive her around. The kicker here is that the driver is French and given my disdain for all things French you'd think that would have been enough to make me turn it off but the show somehow clicked with me and I've totally gotten into it.
But the one thing that has been really giving me some pause for thought is why this show has me so hooked and tonight it dawned on me and I had to sit back and shake my head in disbelief that I hadn't seen it earlier.
There is a theory that each of us has a doppelganger, that there is someone one this planet that looks almost identical to us, that they could literally be mistaken for us if someone we knew came across them.
I used to joke that I was the combination of Dilbert and Drew Carey due to the thick black glasses I used to wear combined with being sort of chubby and having a crew cut for a hair cut. Someone once told me that I really looked more like Robert Urich, the actor who played Spencer for Hire. Now that one I could embrace as I loved that show and have read each and every novel written by Robert B Parker in the Spencer series and felt a sense of loss when both Urich and Parker passed as it felt like I lost a little of myself with each's passing.
But this isn't about me but rather the doppelganger that I did recognize tonight sitting on the couch down in the man cave with Moki the wonder puppy curled up next to me while watching Taxi Brooklyn.
The French cab driver is named Leon and I can honestly say I like him. He makes me laugh and see things in a new light. But he isn't the source of my Ah Ha moment tonight.
The detective is named Caitlyn "Cat" Sullivan and played by Chyler Leigh. Some of you make recognize that name from her stint on Grey's Anatomy.
As I sat there tonight I realized I felt this connection with Caitlyn and it took a moment for me to figure out why but when it came I almost face palmed myself for not seeing it sooner.
I was dating someone whose name started with C and here was an actress with her first name using that same letter as well as the character she played. That wasn't it though, there was a scene where the camera did a close up and I recognized her earrings as the same pair I bought C for birthday and then it all came together. Chyler Leigh is C's doppelganger through and through. They both rock short hair, have this smile that seems to begin in their eyes with a this little twinkle, and each has this playful nature about them that makes me feel warm inside.
The funny thing about C is that if you'd told me I'd fall for someone with short hair I'd have laughed as it isn't something I've ever found appealing on a woman, just my personal preference and not an indictment on short hair so don't be offended. But C rocked the short hair and I used to love running my fingers through it when we were all cuddled up watching a movie, I used to tease her that she needed a haircut as often as I did so as to keep me around with that short hair lol
So there is my proof that doppelgangers exist and they can be a good thing, least this one is for me as it reminds me of someone who I was fortunate enough to have in my life for a much too brief moment, but one whose memories will bring me many a smile over the coming years.......
Today's song is "Heart Is A Drum" by Beck
So there is a TV show on Netflix that I recently discovered and have been binge watching since last Thursday called Taxi Brooklyn.
The premise of the show is that there is this female detective who can't drive without getting into an accident and enlists the help of a taxi driver to drive her around. The kicker here is that the driver is French and given my disdain for all things French you'd think that would have been enough to make me turn it off but the show somehow clicked with me and I've totally gotten into it.
But the one thing that has been really giving me some pause for thought is why this show has me so hooked and tonight it dawned on me and I had to sit back and shake my head in disbelief that I hadn't seen it earlier.
There is a theory that each of us has a doppelganger, that there is someone one this planet that looks almost identical to us, that they could literally be mistaken for us if someone we knew came across them.
I used to joke that I was the combination of Dilbert and Drew Carey due to the thick black glasses I used to wear combined with being sort of chubby and having a crew cut for a hair cut. Someone once told me that I really looked more like Robert Urich, the actor who played Spencer for Hire. Now that one I could embrace as I loved that show and have read each and every novel written by Robert B Parker in the Spencer series and felt a sense of loss when both Urich and Parker passed as it felt like I lost a little of myself with each's passing.
But this isn't about me but rather the doppelganger that I did recognize tonight sitting on the couch down in the man cave with Moki the wonder puppy curled up next to me while watching Taxi Brooklyn.
The French cab driver is named Leon and I can honestly say I like him. He makes me laugh and see things in a new light. But he isn't the source of my Ah Ha moment tonight.
The detective is named Caitlyn "Cat" Sullivan and played by Chyler Leigh. Some of you make recognize that name from her stint on Grey's Anatomy.
As I sat there tonight I realized I felt this connection with Caitlyn and it took a moment for me to figure out why but when it came I almost face palmed myself for not seeing it sooner.
I was dating someone whose name started with C and here was an actress with her first name using that same letter as well as the character she played. That wasn't it though, there was a scene where the camera did a close up and I recognized her earrings as the same pair I bought C for birthday and then it all came together. Chyler Leigh is C's doppelganger through and through. They both rock short hair, have this smile that seems to begin in their eyes with a this little twinkle, and each has this playful nature about them that makes me feel warm inside.
The funny thing about C is that if you'd told me I'd fall for someone with short hair I'd have laughed as it isn't something I've ever found appealing on a woman, just my personal preference and not an indictment on short hair so don't be offended. But C rocked the short hair and I used to love running my fingers through it when we were all cuddled up watching a movie, I used to tease her that she needed a haircut as often as I did so as to keep me around with that short hair lol
So there is my proof that doppelgangers exist and they can be a good thing, least this one is for me as it reminds me of someone who I was fortunate enough to have in my life for a much too brief moment, but one whose memories will bring me many a smile over the coming years.......
Sunday, June 14, 2015
A Simple Saturday That Made Me Pause.....
Saturday, June 13/15
Today's song is "God Only Knows" by The Beach Boys
This is the song that plays at the end of Love Actually and has to rank up there as one of the most underrated movies and one of my favourite - it is my go to movie when I'm having some doubts about love........
Today started off as any regular weekend does with me taking Moki for a walk this morning followed by running some errands. None of them were special or earth shattering in the least, not unless wandering around Chapters, booking a service appointment at Kanata Hyundai, pricing a shelf system for the basement at Lowe's, or getting lunch at Fusion in Stittsville rank up there in your world as major events.
Now I live in Kanata and love it. Almost everything I need is within 5-10 kilometers of my house and that means I never have to leave unless something comes up that I can find or do in Kanata. My kids soccer games or a round of golf are usually the only events that see me visit any other part of Ottawa.
The exception to that rule was when I was dating C for she lived out in the east end in Orleans, directly opposite to my own neck of the woods and to get there you've got to deal with not only the distance but some major highway construction going on related to the new light rail system.
I used to tease her about needing my passport in order to go out to her place but the truth of the matter is that the drive didn't bother me at all, there were times I enjoyed it as it gave me time to think about things and one was how lucky I was to have a reason to make that drive....well had I guess you'd say now
So today after I got home from lunch and errands I kicked around the house doing some odd chores, took Moki for another walk, and than cut the front lawn. All of that took me to 4:30 so I took a quick shower and headed over to Pet Smart to get the wonder puppy some treats and that is when things went off rail for me.
Pet Smart is located in the Kanata Centrum and near three of my favourite places: Golf Town, Baton Rouge, and Milestones. All three hold a special place for me for different reasons. I used to go to Golf Town when it was my dad weekend and for fun I`d take a picture of golf clubs and send it to C with some witty little comment like "Early birthday gift?" and she'd usually respond back telling me I better not buy myself anything and I'd smile like an idiot in love. Baton Rouge was our place to go for a nice steak or prime rib dinner and more than once we wandered in after seeing a late afternoon movie on a Saturday for a nice dinner around some great conversation. Now Milestones is kind of unique as that was one of two places we'd go for Sunday breakfast and I doubt it is anywhere I'll ever go again with anyone else as those memories are just way too special to me.
So as I was coming out of Pet Smart and getting into my car I happened to look up to see Milestones sitting there across the parking lot and I guess I sort of zoned out as I started thinking about the high table we used to sit at and talk about having in our place when she cycled back from her new posting in 2 years as the next thing I knew a couple were standing across my car from asking if everything was OK. I blinked and said yes, why were they asking, they sort of exchanged a look and the man told me I'd been standing there for almost 3 minutes and my eyes were glistening. I was totally embarrassed but told them the truth, that seeing Milestones reminded me of a special person who wasn't in my life and I hoped I hadn't scared them. The woman smiled and said she hoped that person knew how I felt and that seeing me react like I did was heartwarming as she must have meant a lot to me.
I thanked them again and got into my car to drive home. Once home I could not shake the funk and had to turn to Love Actually to help me. Now some of you might find that strange as the movie is about relationships, the majority of them just getting started but for me that is like an elixir, it gives me hope that while I'm kind of miserable at the moment that one day I'll have back what I lost.
I've been doing really well the last few weeks dealing with things but every now and something happens or I get a reminder of what I've lost. Last week was one such week as I've been going through some telephone calls that look like they might prove really beneficial career wise and I've had nobody to share them with as it's not something my teenage son is interested in hearing nor his older twenty something sister lol
Week after next is going to be extra difficult for me as that week has a special day for C that I wish I could see but can't, not that I won't be thinking of her come 10am on June 23rd
So today is coming to a close, one that started out with promise, reminded me of someone I cherished and lost, and now comes full circle in offering me some hope for the future.
Today's song is "God Only Knows" by The Beach Boys
This is the song that plays at the end of Love Actually and has to rank up there as one of the most underrated movies and one of my favourite - it is my go to movie when I'm having some doubts about love........
Today started off as any regular weekend does with me taking Moki for a walk this morning followed by running some errands. None of them were special or earth shattering in the least, not unless wandering around Chapters, booking a service appointment at Kanata Hyundai, pricing a shelf system for the basement at Lowe's, or getting lunch at Fusion in Stittsville rank up there in your world as major events.
Now I live in Kanata and love it. Almost everything I need is within 5-10 kilometers of my house and that means I never have to leave unless something comes up that I can find or do in Kanata. My kids soccer games or a round of golf are usually the only events that see me visit any other part of Ottawa.
The exception to that rule was when I was dating C for she lived out in the east end in Orleans, directly opposite to my own neck of the woods and to get there you've got to deal with not only the distance but some major highway construction going on related to the new light rail system.
I used to tease her about needing my passport in order to go out to her place but the truth of the matter is that the drive didn't bother me at all, there were times I enjoyed it as it gave me time to think about things and one was how lucky I was to have a reason to make that drive....well had I guess you'd say now
So today after I got home from lunch and errands I kicked around the house doing some odd chores, took Moki for another walk, and than cut the front lawn. All of that took me to 4:30 so I took a quick shower and headed over to Pet Smart to get the wonder puppy some treats and that is when things went off rail for me.
Pet Smart is located in the Kanata Centrum and near three of my favourite places: Golf Town, Baton Rouge, and Milestones. All three hold a special place for me for different reasons. I used to go to Golf Town when it was my dad weekend and for fun I`d take a picture of golf clubs and send it to C with some witty little comment like "Early birthday gift?" and she'd usually respond back telling me I better not buy myself anything and I'd smile like an idiot in love. Baton Rouge was our place to go for a nice steak or prime rib dinner and more than once we wandered in after seeing a late afternoon movie on a Saturday for a nice dinner around some great conversation. Now Milestones is kind of unique as that was one of two places we'd go for Sunday breakfast and I doubt it is anywhere I'll ever go again with anyone else as those memories are just way too special to me.
So as I was coming out of Pet Smart and getting into my car I happened to look up to see Milestones sitting there across the parking lot and I guess I sort of zoned out as I started thinking about the high table we used to sit at and talk about having in our place when she cycled back from her new posting in 2 years as the next thing I knew a couple were standing across my car from asking if everything was OK. I blinked and said yes, why were they asking, they sort of exchanged a look and the man told me I'd been standing there for almost 3 minutes and my eyes were glistening. I was totally embarrassed but told them the truth, that seeing Milestones reminded me of a special person who wasn't in my life and I hoped I hadn't scared them. The woman smiled and said she hoped that person knew how I felt and that seeing me react like I did was heartwarming as she must have meant a lot to me.
I thanked them again and got into my car to drive home. Once home I could not shake the funk and had to turn to Love Actually to help me. Now some of you might find that strange as the movie is about relationships, the majority of them just getting started but for me that is like an elixir, it gives me hope that while I'm kind of miserable at the moment that one day I'll have back what I lost.
I've been doing really well the last few weeks dealing with things but every now and something happens or I get a reminder of what I've lost. Last week was one such week as I've been going through some telephone calls that look like they might prove really beneficial career wise and I've had nobody to share them with as it's not something my teenage son is interested in hearing nor his older twenty something sister lol
Week after next is going to be extra difficult for me as that week has a special day for C that I wish I could see but can't, not that I won't be thinking of her come 10am on June 23rd
So today is coming to a close, one that started out with promise, reminded me of someone I cherished and lost, and now comes full circle in offering me some hope for the future.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
If You Could, What Would Present Day You Say to You in the Past
Thursday, June 11/15
Today's musical recommendation -> "Marchin
On” by One Republic
When you're interested, you do what's
convenient. When you're committed, you do whatever it takes!
I came across an interesting story online
about a student at UWO who didn’t like the guy he was when he was younger and
bullied people, using slurs to put down those different from himself, and more
often than not the target didn’t follow heterosexual practices. Instead of
sitting there and doing nothing about it he has worked with another student at
UWO to create video messages that highlight what he’d say to himself if he
could talk from his current perspective. The videos include both homosexual and
lesbian participants and I think send a powerful message.
Reading the story and watching his video
got me thinking….what would I tell myself if future me could send a message
back in time to when I was just turning 21 and here is what I came up with,
like it or not, I hope it makes you pause and wonder what you’d say to
yourself.
“You are going to come to forks in the road
that veer off in widely opposite directions, don’t be afraid of them but rather
use your heart to make the decision on which one to take. Trust me on this one,
it may steer you wrong once or twice, but in the end the ones it does select
create a journey is pretty freaking amazing and well worth living. One of those
forks will offer the chance to move 3K miles across the continent, don’t just
say yes, say hell yes and jump at it as it is the best one you’ll ever make.
Some of these forks will result in pain or
disappointment, but each will also make you the person you are today, though
there will be some things you do that you regret, you need to realize that life
is about the ups and downs, and the good things you do make far outweigh the
bad.
Life is about balance. Remember that when
buddies call you to go out and play hoops and you put them off to work. Work
isn’t life, you’ll get this later but if you can get it sooner all the better.
When you have those doubts about your first
real relationship, trust them and act accordingly when things come to a head.
It will be ugly before it gets better but it is one of those life lessons we
all need to go through. You'll come out of it a better person and you learn later she managed to get things together as well and ends up happy too.
Don’t take that job in New York. You didn’t
but it was a close call and who knows where you might have ended up, probably
seduced by the all mighty dollar, trying to be one of Wall Street’s Masters of
the Universe from the 80’s.
When you begin to feel like there has to be
something better out there in the early 90’s trust me there is and she will
change your life so much. Sure she won’t end up being the one you grow old with
but she will welcome you into not only her life but her daughter’s life as
well. Oh, in case you’re wondering, that little girl becomes your daughter and
introduces you to what it means to love unconditionally.
Take more time to enjoy things with your
children. They have so much love for you and want nothing more than to spend
time with you. Remind yourself of the vow you took when you were little about
being a better parent than yours were with you.
Just one last thing to think about, that
name you think is cool for your son, it doesn’t work and when the time comes you’ll
change it on the fly at the hospital, catching everyone off guard, and pick the
perfect name for him, it suits him to a tee.
Hug your children often and tell them you
love them. They can never hear it enough”
What would you say to yourself if you had
the opportunity?
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Dating in the Here & Now
Wednesday, June 10/15
Today's song is "Leave Out All The Rest " by Linkin Park
Dating has evolved since I first became a participant a hell of a lot of years ago.
Dating now involves swiping to the right or left, it means seeking electronic harmony, casting a line deep into the ocean, or attempting to match some key criteria.
Dating isn't face to face anymore but rather monitor to monitor or possibly smart phone to smart phone interaction. It's not a laugh on the phone at something amusing you've just shared but rather digital emotions expressed after a text. It's not a hand on your arm across the dinner table but rather a clap on your smart phone. We don't call we text, we don't make the effort anymore to really get to know someone as there is literally always a someone out there for the meeting, if it even is a real meeting and not some kind of virtual connection.
We can order up a new person online just as easily as we can order shorts from Old Navy or movies online from our cable provider.
We are inundated with options to find a new partner with commercials and online ad's for every possible variety of dating site imaginable. Hell, at this point even if you are in a relationship and don't really want to end it but still want some variety you can go to a site designed specifically for those looking to cheat on their partner - how fucked up is that?
I'm not happy but I'm not so unhappy that I want to end things but I'm also not motivated enough to actually work on what is wrong with my relationship that I'll just step out on my partner to get my rocks off with someone who is in the same boat. Here is a clue folks, pull your head out of your ass and make a real life decision to fix the problem or end the relationship. Don't use some temporary measure to make yourself feel better as it doesn't help you, it doesn't help the other person, and it sure as hell doesn't help any number of other innocent people that will be impacted by your selfish narcissistic behavior.
But I'm off track as this posting isn't about cheating but rather the lack of effort we have to put into meeting someone since society makes it easier to look for something fresh rather than actually face the situation and make it work.
I read somewhere that divorce rates started to climb as women entered the workforce and became economically independent of a man, well independent relatively speaking as income disparity still exists across a broad spectrum of society between what a man is paid versus a woman for comparable work, but while this may hold some truth I'd be interested in knowing what happened to these rates with the introduction of online dating and the proliferation of choices now available to both men and women.
I used to be on a dating site and have used a couple over the course of the last few years and have had some success on them. My last two relationships came about from meeting someone on the same website, one that I think does a better job of matching people as they actually match profiles and don't just generate pages and pages of pictures for you to look at like some kind of meat market. There is one that really is nothing more than a meat market for people looking to kill a few hours while searching for the perfect partner.
News flash folks, there are no perfect partners. Oh there may be someone who is perfect for you but trust me we all have some kind of baggage we bring to a new relationship. The key here is to see if you can look past that baggage and if the person is able to store it in the overhead compartment prior to takeoff.
Dating isn't a text message saying good morning. Dating is that feeling you get when you are getting ready to meet for dinner, a movie, taking a walk along the canal, sharing a bucket of balls at the driving range. Dating is getting out of your comfort zone and trying something totally new, it's letting the other person share a like they have, you sharing one you have, and seeing what happens.
Dating is that moment at the end of the date when the butterflies hit and you don't know whether to lean in for the first kiss, maybe even your very last first kiss. Dating is thinking about the other person on the drive home and smiling without even realizing it until you see your reflection in the rear view mirror.
Dating is cooking a meal at your place for them after spending hours cleaning up, trust me I've been there and done that. Dating is card out of the blue in the mail, it's flowers for no reason other than to see them smile.
Dating is real....it's not done through your computer or cell phone.
Dating has substance and makes things happen in the here and now.
Dating is terrifying as well as exhilarating
So instead of clicking onto the next profile on that website why not send a smile and suggest a drink at a nice public spot when you see someone who makes your eyes twinkle.
Today's song is "Leave Out All The Rest " by Linkin Park
Dating has evolved since I first became a participant a hell of a lot of years ago.
Dating now involves swiping to the right or left, it means seeking electronic harmony, casting a line deep into the ocean, or attempting to match some key criteria.
Dating isn't face to face anymore but rather monitor to monitor or possibly smart phone to smart phone interaction. It's not a laugh on the phone at something amusing you've just shared but rather digital emotions expressed after a text. It's not a hand on your arm across the dinner table but rather a clap on your smart phone. We don't call we text, we don't make the effort anymore to really get to know someone as there is literally always a someone out there for the meeting, if it even is a real meeting and not some kind of virtual connection.
We can order up a new person online just as easily as we can order shorts from Old Navy or movies online from our cable provider.
We are inundated with options to find a new partner with commercials and online ad's for every possible variety of dating site imaginable. Hell, at this point even if you are in a relationship and don't really want to end it but still want some variety you can go to a site designed specifically for those looking to cheat on their partner - how fucked up is that?
I'm not happy but I'm not so unhappy that I want to end things but I'm also not motivated enough to actually work on what is wrong with my relationship that I'll just step out on my partner to get my rocks off with someone who is in the same boat. Here is a clue folks, pull your head out of your ass and make a real life decision to fix the problem or end the relationship. Don't use some temporary measure to make yourself feel better as it doesn't help you, it doesn't help the other person, and it sure as hell doesn't help any number of other innocent people that will be impacted by your selfish narcissistic behavior.
But I'm off track as this posting isn't about cheating but rather the lack of effort we have to put into meeting someone since society makes it easier to look for something fresh rather than actually face the situation and make it work.
I read somewhere that divorce rates started to climb as women entered the workforce and became economically independent of a man, well independent relatively speaking as income disparity still exists across a broad spectrum of society between what a man is paid versus a woman for comparable work, but while this may hold some truth I'd be interested in knowing what happened to these rates with the introduction of online dating and the proliferation of choices now available to both men and women.
I used to be on a dating site and have used a couple over the course of the last few years and have had some success on them. My last two relationships came about from meeting someone on the same website, one that I think does a better job of matching people as they actually match profiles and don't just generate pages and pages of pictures for you to look at like some kind of meat market. There is one that really is nothing more than a meat market for people looking to kill a few hours while searching for the perfect partner.
News flash folks, there are no perfect partners. Oh there may be someone who is perfect for you but trust me we all have some kind of baggage we bring to a new relationship. The key here is to see if you can look past that baggage and if the person is able to store it in the overhead compartment prior to takeoff.
Dating isn't a text message saying good morning. Dating is that feeling you get when you are getting ready to meet for dinner, a movie, taking a walk along the canal, sharing a bucket of balls at the driving range. Dating is getting out of your comfort zone and trying something totally new, it's letting the other person share a like they have, you sharing one you have, and seeing what happens.
Dating is that moment at the end of the date when the butterflies hit and you don't know whether to lean in for the first kiss, maybe even your very last first kiss. Dating is thinking about the other person on the drive home and smiling without even realizing it until you see your reflection in the rear view mirror.
Dating is cooking a meal at your place for them after spending hours cleaning up, trust me I've been there and done that. Dating is card out of the blue in the mail, it's flowers for no reason other than to see them smile.
Dating is real....it's not done through your computer or cell phone.
Dating has substance and makes things happen in the here and now.
Dating is terrifying as well as exhilarating
So instead of clicking onto the next profile on that website why not send a smile and suggest a drink at a nice public spot when you see someone who makes your eyes twinkle.
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
The Rule of Three's
Tuesday, June 09/15
Today's song is "Wish You Were Here" by Avril Lavigne
In life there are certain things we take as givens and sometimes they become known as a cliche or a generally accepted rule.
The Rule of Three's is one such thing but the interesting fact is that it was originally created to explain a literary process where it was outlined that humorous events in a story were best accepted by the reader in cycles of three's. I'm not convinced of this but than who am I to argue with accepted literary standards.
The funny thing is that along the way this rule of three's has been suborned to describe events in life, not always for the best I might add. I doubt any of us haven't heard the old saying "Things happen in Three's" at one point or another. Now usually we hear this in reference to negative events as a warning after the second bad thing has happened that the person can expect one more bad event to occur. I myself made reference to the Rule of Three's back in May when I resumed blogging after both my job and relationship came to an abrupt end.
Now every since that point in time I've sort of been waiting for that third event to materialize but after a conversation with a friend last week think I'm at the point where I now believe all three events have happened and now I'm looking for a new cycle to start, one full of positive outcomes I might add.
Why the change of heart you might ask? Well during lunch my friend M asked how my son was doing and after telling her about his recent trip to the emergency for tightness in his chest following a soccer match she asked if he'd had his annual checkup at CHEO related to his abscess and surgeries back in '09 and I replied he gets them now through our family physician and he's been clear for going on almost 5 years now.
She smiled and told me how happy she was as she knows how hard that was on me and than said how that was the really first negative thing that had happened to me that she could remember. That got me thinking and she was pretty much dead on right, his surgery was the first negative thing and from 2009 to this year I'd experienced some unhappy events but none that rocked my world like his surgery. Now I'm positing that the Rule of Three's knows no time limits so it is perfectly possible for years to pass between additions to the cycle.
So I'm now on record as saying this most recent cycle is complete and anything that happens next, whether good or bad, will be the start of a new Rule of Three cycle and like all the rest, I'll make my way through it just like I've done the rest of them.
Today's song is "Wish You Were Here" by Avril Lavigne
In life there are certain things we take as givens and sometimes they become known as a cliche or a generally accepted rule.
The Rule of Three's is one such thing but the interesting fact is that it was originally created to explain a literary process where it was outlined that humorous events in a story were best accepted by the reader in cycles of three's. I'm not convinced of this but than who am I to argue with accepted literary standards.
The funny thing is that along the way this rule of three's has been suborned to describe events in life, not always for the best I might add. I doubt any of us haven't heard the old saying "Things happen in Three's" at one point or another. Now usually we hear this in reference to negative events as a warning after the second bad thing has happened that the person can expect one more bad event to occur. I myself made reference to the Rule of Three's back in May when I resumed blogging after both my job and relationship came to an abrupt end.
Now every since that point in time I've sort of been waiting for that third event to materialize but after a conversation with a friend last week think I'm at the point where I now believe all three events have happened and now I'm looking for a new cycle to start, one full of positive outcomes I might add.
Why the change of heart you might ask? Well during lunch my friend M asked how my son was doing and after telling her about his recent trip to the emergency for tightness in his chest following a soccer match she asked if he'd had his annual checkup at CHEO related to his abscess and surgeries back in '09 and I replied he gets them now through our family physician and he's been clear for going on almost 5 years now.
She smiled and told me how happy she was as she knows how hard that was on me and than said how that was the really first negative thing that had happened to me that she could remember. That got me thinking and she was pretty much dead on right, his surgery was the first negative thing and from 2009 to this year I'd experienced some unhappy events but none that rocked my world like his surgery. Now I'm positing that the Rule of Three's knows no time limits so it is perfectly possible for years to pass between additions to the cycle.
So I'm now on record as saying this most recent cycle is complete and anything that happens next, whether good or bad, will be the start of a new Rule of Three cycle and like all the rest, I'll make my way through it just like I've done the rest of them.
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
77 Facts You Won't believe
Wednesday, June 03/15
Today's song is "Geronimo" by Sheppard
Blog has been a little more focused than I'd like lately so thought I'd lighten things up a bit and throw some trivial information at you.....your welcome :)
1. If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds just like Pac-Man.
2. The YKK on your zipper stands for “Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikigaisha.”
3. Maine is the closest U.S. state to Africa.
4. Anne Frank, Martin Luther King Jr., and Barbara Walters were born in the same year, 1929.
5. The name Jessica was created by Shakespeare in the play Merchant of Venice.
6. Cashews grow like this:
Today's song is "Geronimo" by Sheppard
Blog has been a little more focused than I'd like lately so thought I'd lighten things up a bit and throw some trivial information at you.....your welcome :)
1. If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds just like Pac-Man.
2. The YKK on your zipper stands for “Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikigaisha.”
3. Maine is the closest U.S. state to Africa.
4. Anne Frank, Martin Luther King Jr., and Barbara Walters were born in the same year, 1929.
5. The name Jessica was created by Shakespeare in the play Merchant of Venice.
6. Cashews grow like this:
7. And pineapples grow like this:
hiyori13 / Via Flickr: hiyori13
Via factslist.net
12. The toy Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
13. Woody from Toy Story has a full name too — it’s Woody Pride.
14. And while we’re at it, Mr. Clean’s full name is Veritably Clean.
15. Oh, and Cookie Monster’s real name is Sid.
16. Carrots were originally purple.
17. The heart of a blue whale is so big, a human can swim through the arteries.
13. Woody from Toy Story has a full name too — it’s Woody Pride.
14. And while we’re at it, Mr. Clean’s full name is Veritably Clean.
15. Oh, and Cookie Monster’s real name is Sid.
16. Carrots were originally purple.
17. The heart of a blue whale is so big, a human can swim through the arteries.
Via geekosystem.com
18. Vending machines are twice as likely to kill you than a shark is.
19. Home Alone was released closer to the moon landing than it was to today.
19. Home Alone was released closer to the moon landing than it was to today.
20th Century Fox
20. Oxford University is older than the Aztec Empire.
21. Not once in the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme does it mention that he’s an egg.
22. France was still executing people with a guillotine when the first Star Warsfilm came out.
23. Armadillos nearly always give birth to identical quadruplets.
24. Betty White is actually older than sliced bread.
21. Not once in the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme does it mention that he’s an egg.
22. France was still executing people with a guillotine when the first Star Warsfilm came out.
23. Armadillos nearly always give birth to identical quadruplets.
24. Betty White is actually older than sliced bread.
Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty Images for TV Land
25. The unicorn is the national animal of Scotland.
26. A strawberry isn’t a berry but a banana is.
27. So are avocados and watermelon.
28. New York City is further south than Rome, Italy.
29. North Korea and Finland are separated by one country.
26. A strawberry isn’t a berry but a banana is.
27. So are avocados and watermelon.
28. New York City is further south than Rome, Italy.
29. North Korea and Finland are separated by one country.
Via rsf.org
30. Mammoths went extinct 1,000 years after the Egyptians finished building the Great Pyramid.
31. There are more fake flamingos in the world than real flamingos.
32. Nintendo was founded as a trading card company back in 1889.
33. The man who voiced Fry on Futurama, Billy West, also voiced Doug on Doug.
31. There are more fake flamingos in the world than real flamingos.
32. Nintendo was founded as a trading card company back in 1889.
33. The man who voiced Fry on Futurama, Billy West, also voiced Doug on Doug.
Via funnyjunk.com
34. The last time the Chicago Cubs won the baseball World Series, the Ottoman Empire still existed.
35. And lollipops had not yet been invented.
36. And women did not have the right to vote in the United States.
35. And lollipops had not yet been invented.
36. And women did not have the right to vote in the United States.
Via theheckler.com
37. If you shrunk the sun down to the size of a white blood cell and shrunk the Milky Way Galaxy down using the same scale, it would be the size of the continental United States.
38. John Tyler, the 10th president of the United States, has a grandson who’s alive today.
38. John Tyler, the 10th president of the United States, has a grandson who’s alive today.
Via geneamusings.com
39. Will Smith is now older than Uncle Phil was at the beginning of The Fresh Prince.
40. The show the The Wonder Years aired from 1988–1993 and covered the years 1968–1973. Today, in 2014, if one were to make a similar show, it would cover the years 1994–1999.
41. Humans share 50% of their DNA with bananas.
42. Duck Hunt is a two-player game. Player two controls the ducks.
40. The show the The Wonder Years aired from 1988–1993 and covered the years 1968–1973. Today, in 2014, if one were to make a similar show, it would cover the years 1994–1999.
41. Humans share 50% of their DNA with bananas.
42. Duck Hunt is a two-player game. Player two controls the ducks.
Nintendo
43. The difference in time between when Tyrannosaurus Rex and Stegosaurus lived is greater than the difference in time between Tyrannosaurus Rex and now.
44. One more fact about the Cubs: The last time they won the world series, Alaska, Arizona, Hawaii, and New Mexico were not yet states.
45. Speaking of Alaska — it’s simultaneously the most northern, the most western, and the most eastern state in the U.S.
46. Pluto never made a full orbit around the sun from the time it was discovered to when it was declassified as a planet.
44. One more fact about the Cubs: The last time they won the world series, Alaska, Arizona, Hawaii, and New Mexico were not yet states.
45. Speaking of Alaska — it’s simultaneously the most northern, the most western, and the most eastern state in the U.S.
46. Pluto never made a full orbit around the sun from the time it was discovered to when it was declassified as a planet.
Via wishlist.soup.io
47. A thousand seconds is about 16 minutes.
48. A million seconds is about 11 days.
49. A billion seconds is about 32 years.
50. And one trillion seconds is about 32,000 years. A trillion is a lot.
51. But the good news is: Honey never spoils. You can eat 32,000-year-old honey.
48. A million seconds is about 11 days.
49. A billion seconds is about 32 years.
50. And one trillion seconds is about 32,000 years. A trillion is a lot.
51. But the good news is: Honey never spoils. You can eat 32,000-year-old honey.
52. There are more stars in space than there are grains of sand on every beach on Earth.
53. And there’s enough water in Lake Superior to cover all of North and South America in one foot of water.
53. And there’s enough water in Lake Superior to cover all of North and South America in one foot of water.
54. There are more public libraries than McDonald’s in the U.S.
55. For every human on Earth there are approximately 1.6 million ants. The totalweight of all those ants is approximately the same as the total weight of all the humans on Earth.
56. An octopus has three hearts.
57. Mario hits blocks with his hand, not his head.
55. For every human on Earth there are approximately 1.6 million ants. The totalweight of all those ants is approximately the same as the total weight of all the humans on Earth.
56. An octopus has three hearts.
57. Mario hits blocks with his hand, not his head.
Via drheckle.net
58. The CEO of Food For The Poor is named Robin Mahfood.
59. One in every 5,000 babies is born with a condition known as “imperforate anus.” This means the baby is born without an anus and has to have one created manually in the hospital.
60. You can’t hum while holding your nose.
61. It rains diamonds on Saturn and Jupiter.
62. Also, this is what Jupiter would look like if it were as close to us as the Moon is:
59. One in every 5,000 babies is born with a condition known as “imperforate anus.” This means the baby is born without an anus and has to have one created manually in the hospital.
60. You can’t hum while holding your nose.
61. It rains diamonds on Saturn and Jupiter.
62. Also, this is what Jupiter would look like if it were as close to us as the Moon is:
63. And this is what sand looks like under a microscope:
Courtesy of Dr. Gary Greenberg / sandgrains.com / Via sandgrains.com
64. If a piece of paper were folded 42 times, it would reach to the moon.
65. The pyramids were as old to the Romans as the Romans are to us.
66. If you dug a hole to the center of the Earth and dropped a book down, it would take 42 minutes to reach the bottom.
67. There is 10 times more bacteria in your body than actual body cells.
68. And 90% of the cells that make us up of aren’t human but mostly fungi and bacteria.
69. Every two minutes, we take more pictures than all of humanity in the 19th century.
65. The pyramids were as old to the Romans as the Romans are to us.
66. If you dug a hole to the center of the Earth and dropped a book down, it would take 42 minutes to reach the bottom.
67. There is 10 times more bacteria in your body than actual body cells.
68. And 90% of the cells that make us up of aren’t human but mostly fungi and bacteria.
69. Every two minutes, we take more pictures than all of humanity in the 19th century.
Via pinterest.com
70. Peanuts are not nuts. They grow in the ground, so they are legumes.
71. Turtles can breathe out of their butts.
72. The dot over an “i” is called a “tittle.”
72. The dot over an “i” is called a “tittle.”
73. There are more atoms in a glass of water than glasses of water in all the oceans on Earth.
74. The probability of you drinking a glass of water that contains a molecule of water that also passed through a dinosaur is almost 100%.
75. At the time the current oldest person on Earth was born, there was a completely different set of human beings on the planet.
76. And at the time you were born, you were briefly the youngest person in the entire world.
77. And, finally, “dog food lid” backwards is “dildo of God.”
74. The probability of you drinking a glass of water that contains a molecule of water that also passed through a dinosaur is almost 100%.
75. At the time the current oldest person on Earth was born, there was a completely different set of human beings on the planet.
76. And at the time you were born, you were briefly the youngest person in the entire world.
77. And, finally, “dog food lid” backwards is “dildo of God.”
Monday, June 1, 2015
First and Foremost I am..............
Monday, June 01/15
Today's song is "My Type" by Saint Motel
First and foremost I am..................................a dad
Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of life we can lose track of that which is our most important role and that sort of happened to me over the last week with my son but a couple of things came about that reminded me of where my real responsibility lies.
Last Thursday was his first ever representative soccer game and he was pretty nervous about it and no matter how I tried to reassure him that he was going to be fine he just didn't hear me. The game turned out to be a total nightmare as we went down 6-1 but it wasn't for lack of effort and he played really well for his first real run against a determined opponent. We talked about the game on the drive home and he admitted he thought he didn't do too badly and could hold his own against the other players. He also thanked me for being so supportive of him in this new adventure and I reminded him that that's my job as his dad, encourage him in new adventures and be there to help him get up when life knocks him down so he can go right back at it!!
When we got home he complained about feeling some pressure on his chest and having some issues breathing so I monitored him and when he started to cry knew it was time to leave for the hospital. Now some parents might have tried to wait out the night to avoid the inevitable wait in the emergency room but when he was in CHEO back in '09 dealing with his abscess they mentioned they thought they'd detected a slight irregular heartbeat at one point but cleared him in early '10 with a visit to the head of cardiology, nevertheless that has always stuck with his mother and I so we pay attention when he mentions things. As luck would have it everything turned out fine and they figured out he was suffering from acid reflux triggered by eating less than an hour before he ran the entire 90 minute game. Colour me one relieved father who is going back to bland pasta for his pregame meal and skipping all pasta sauces from now on. As we drove home at 2am he reached over and patted my hand as he was falling asleep and thanked me for taking care of him.
I let him sleep in on Friday and we had sushi for lunch before I dropped him off at school so he could complete his English RST and then begin his week with his mom.
As I was getting my stuff ready for the weekend soccer tournament his team was playing in I got a text from him thanking me for being there for him last night and I just told him I love him and I'd see him on Saturday.
Saturday dawned cloudy, chilly, and with the promise of rain in the afternoon. Now I've coached teams in the Icebreaker tournament before and it's one of those where one day you can get a severe sunburn and frostbite the next day so I come prepared: water, toque, sunscreen, snacks, and jackets.
Our first game ended in a draw that saw us go right to penalty kicks but for some reason the referee wouldn't let either the head coach or myself as the assistant to talk to the lads about who we wanted to take the kicks nor let one of them come to the sideline for instructions. As the head coach went to talk to the game marshal he told me to yell out to the lads who he wanted taking the kicks but the referee had already taken down the shooters after talking to the boys, not knowing this I was yelling out the names to kick but seems I was yelling too loud as it upset my son and made him think I was angry as well as pissing off his mom who knew he wasn't happy. I tried talking to him after the game, which we won 2-1, but he was too upset and told me he didn't want me coaching as I got too involved with the games. I was hurt and we didn't really speak for the rest the remaining 2 round robin games.
The head coach then dropped the bombshell on me that he had to miss the 4th game as he was travelling on Sunday for work and would miss the Sunday games as well as our practices and league game this week but was sure I could handle things.
Now we lost players to injuries and had a couple missing due to prior commitments so what was a 16 player squad was down to 12 for the 4th game and only 11 for Sunday's game.
I spent Saturday night trying to get warm and thinking far too much about soccer and where I went wrong in that my son didn't want me to coach him anymore when around midnight it struck me and I knew what I had to do.
Sunday morning as the lads were arriving for our game I pulled my son aside and told him that I liked coaching soccer and was pretty damn good at it, the one thing I do that I have absolutely no self confidence issues about, but that I loved him and I didn't want this to be about me but rather about him as this was his first experience with competitive soccer and I had already had a conversation with the clubs head coach asking him to find a replacement for me as my relationship with my son was the most important thing to me. He asked me to cover for the week and they'd have someone in place for next week and I said that would be fine. My son asked me if I was OK stepping away and just being a soccer dad and I smiled and told him I was more than fine with it as it went along with being his dad perfectly well.
We lost our opener on Sunday 1-0 in a game we should have won but sometimes the ball doesn't always bounce the way we want it too. We dropped into the consolation game and played a whale of a game with only 11 players winning 1-0 on a awesome run and shot by my son. As he turned and ran into the arms of his teammates to celebrate he looked over at me and winked, letting me know that one was for me.
I can't lie and say I won't miss coaching him but I'll love being able to actually cheer for him as a dad whereas as a coach I wasn't really able to do that kind of thing. One added bonus is that now I'll be able to watch my daughters competitive team play on my off week custody wise as they both play on the same night.
Ironically, my daughter asked me if I was now free to help her team and I told her I think being a soccer parent was my job this summer.
So first and foremost I am a dad. Well I'm dad to my 16 y/o son and daddy to my 26 y/o daughter :)
What are you?
Today's song is "My Type" by Saint Motel
First and foremost I am..................................a dad
Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of life we can lose track of that which is our most important role and that sort of happened to me over the last week with my son but a couple of things came about that reminded me of where my real responsibility lies.
Last Thursday was his first ever representative soccer game and he was pretty nervous about it and no matter how I tried to reassure him that he was going to be fine he just didn't hear me. The game turned out to be a total nightmare as we went down 6-1 but it wasn't for lack of effort and he played really well for his first real run against a determined opponent. We talked about the game on the drive home and he admitted he thought he didn't do too badly and could hold his own against the other players. He also thanked me for being so supportive of him in this new adventure and I reminded him that that's my job as his dad, encourage him in new adventures and be there to help him get up when life knocks him down so he can go right back at it!!
When we got home he complained about feeling some pressure on his chest and having some issues breathing so I monitored him and when he started to cry knew it was time to leave for the hospital. Now some parents might have tried to wait out the night to avoid the inevitable wait in the emergency room but when he was in CHEO back in '09 dealing with his abscess they mentioned they thought they'd detected a slight irregular heartbeat at one point but cleared him in early '10 with a visit to the head of cardiology, nevertheless that has always stuck with his mother and I so we pay attention when he mentions things. As luck would have it everything turned out fine and they figured out he was suffering from acid reflux triggered by eating less than an hour before he ran the entire 90 minute game. Colour me one relieved father who is going back to bland pasta for his pregame meal and skipping all pasta sauces from now on. As we drove home at 2am he reached over and patted my hand as he was falling asleep and thanked me for taking care of him.
I let him sleep in on Friday and we had sushi for lunch before I dropped him off at school so he could complete his English RST and then begin his week with his mom.
As I was getting my stuff ready for the weekend soccer tournament his team was playing in I got a text from him thanking me for being there for him last night and I just told him I love him and I'd see him on Saturday.
Saturday dawned cloudy, chilly, and with the promise of rain in the afternoon. Now I've coached teams in the Icebreaker tournament before and it's one of those where one day you can get a severe sunburn and frostbite the next day so I come prepared: water, toque, sunscreen, snacks, and jackets.
Our first game ended in a draw that saw us go right to penalty kicks but for some reason the referee wouldn't let either the head coach or myself as the assistant to talk to the lads about who we wanted to take the kicks nor let one of them come to the sideline for instructions. As the head coach went to talk to the game marshal he told me to yell out to the lads who he wanted taking the kicks but the referee had already taken down the shooters after talking to the boys, not knowing this I was yelling out the names to kick but seems I was yelling too loud as it upset my son and made him think I was angry as well as pissing off his mom who knew he wasn't happy. I tried talking to him after the game, which we won 2-1, but he was too upset and told me he didn't want me coaching as I got too involved with the games. I was hurt and we didn't really speak for the rest the remaining 2 round robin games.
The head coach then dropped the bombshell on me that he had to miss the 4th game as he was travelling on Sunday for work and would miss the Sunday games as well as our practices and league game this week but was sure I could handle things.
Now we lost players to injuries and had a couple missing due to prior commitments so what was a 16 player squad was down to 12 for the 4th game and only 11 for Sunday's game.
I spent Saturday night trying to get warm and thinking far too much about soccer and where I went wrong in that my son didn't want me to coach him anymore when around midnight it struck me and I knew what I had to do.
Sunday morning as the lads were arriving for our game I pulled my son aside and told him that I liked coaching soccer and was pretty damn good at it, the one thing I do that I have absolutely no self confidence issues about, but that I loved him and I didn't want this to be about me but rather about him as this was his first experience with competitive soccer and I had already had a conversation with the clubs head coach asking him to find a replacement for me as my relationship with my son was the most important thing to me. He asked me to cover for the week and they'd have someone in place for next week and I said that would be fine. My son asked me if I was OK stepping away and just being a soccer dad and I smiled and told him I was more than fine with it as it went along with being his dad perfectly well.
We lost our opener on Sunday 1-0 in a game we should have won but sometimes the ball doesn't always bounce the way we want it too. We dropped into the consolation game and played a whale of a game with only 11 players winning 1-0 on a awesome run and shot by my son. As he turned and ran into the arms of his teammates to celebrate he looked over at me and winked, letting me know that one was for me.
I can't lie and say I won't miss coaching him but I'll love being able to actually cheer for him as a dad whereas as a coach I wasn't really able to do that kind of thing. One added bonus is that now I'll be able to watch my daughters competitive team play on my off week custody wise as they both play on the same night.
Ironically, my daughter asked me if I was now free to help her team and I told her I think being a soccer parent was my job this summer.
So first and foremost I am a dad. Well I'm dad to my 16 y/o son and daddy to my 26 y/o daughter :)
What are you?
Friday, May 29, 2015
Closure
Friday, May 29/15
No song today as I really can't think of one that would accurately reflect my mood.
Closure......we all want it, we all need it, and some will feel that they deserve it. Unfortunately closure comes when both parties are able to fulfill the needs of the other and it doesn't seem like I'll be getting my closure any time soon.
Tonight was my final meeting with C to exchange the stuff we had each left at the others house over the last few months. For me that meant getting back the keys to my house I'd given her and packing a small box with her stuff to bring to her place. It never really dawned on me till today when I was going through things how much she had left at my place and yet it felt kind of right to me at the same time.
We talked briefly and things are still the same in terms of why she ended things but there is a piece of me that just doesn't buy her story and thinks she is holding something back as two people don't go from where we were to breaking up in the span of one weekend without something else causing it.
I doubt I'll ever know the whole story and while that sucks for me there is little I can do other than remember some incredible times and keep my head up as I know I was really into her and the potential we had, hell lets be honest and say I still am and it is almost damn near impossible to find someone who not only stimulates your libido let alone your mind, and she did that!!
So I'm going to put on my big boy pants now and get on with my life, doing my best not to let this show up in the blog anymore. Just know that every now and than one of the more interesting entries might be related to some awesome memory slipping past my guard and making me feel a bit lost for a moment in time.
Closure.....nice to have but not the end of the world if it isn't forthcoming.
Btw......Romantic Me was hoping for a text tonight but Logical Me hit him on the back of the head like Gibbs does to DeNozo on NCIS.......take a moment and visualize it......you are welcome for that smile you just had :)
No song today as I really can't think of one that would accurately reflect my mood.
Closure......we all want it, we all need it, and some will feel that they deserve it. Unfortunately closure comes when both parties are able to fulfill the needs of the other and it doesn't seem like I'll be getting my closure any time soon.
Tonight was my final meeting with C to exchange the stuff we had each left at the others house over the last few months. For me that meant getting back the keys to my house I'd given her and packing a small box with her stuff to bring to her place. It never really dawned on me till today when I was going through things how much she had left at my place and yet it felt kind of right to me at the same time.
We talked briefly and things are still the same in terms of why she ended things but there is a piece of me that just doesn't buy her story and thinks she is holding something back as two people don't go from where we were to breaking up in the span of one weekend without something else causing it.
I doubt I'll ever know the whole story and while that sucks for me there is little I can do other than remember some incredible times and keep my head up as I know I was really into her and the potential we had, hell lets be honest and say I still am and it is almost damn near impossible to find someone who not only stimulates your libido let alone your mind, and she did that!!
So I'm going to put on my big boy pants now and get on with my life, doing my best not to let this show up in the blog anymore. Just know that every now and than one of the more interesting entries might be related to some awesome memory slipping past my guard and making me feel a bit lost for a moment in time.
Closure.....nice to have but not the end of the world if it isn't forthcoming.
Btw......Romantic Me was hoping for a text tonight but Logical Me hit him on the back of the head like Gibbs does to DeNozo on NCIS.......take a moment and visualize it......you are welcome for that smile you just had :)
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
My Daily Battle with Myself.....
Tuesday, May 26/15
Today's song is "Golden Slumbers" by The Beatles
I bet the title of this post has you wondering what my real topic will be about since I like to say one thing and mean something else, well rest assured that today's subject really is about the daily battle I have with myself, one I've had for as long as I can remember.
No, that isn't some reference to having a mental issue, but so what if it was, are we not able to be open with one another to discuss such things if one of us was actually facing those kinds of demons? I'd like to think we've evolved but I admit there are still those who think adults, and in particular men, have to grow up, be strong, and to quote my stepfather, grow a pair.
I'm sad that my mom didn't get to see grandson and thankful he was never exposed to the vitriol my stepfather was famous for dishing out. Actually, I would have never allowed that man near my children so I guess I'm really only sorry my mom isn't around for her grandchildren.
OK, sorry about that, seems like I sort of got off track there for a moment, happens when one tends to think about this, that, and a little bit of everything and just free form write his thoughts. Mea Culpa!
So what exactly do I mean by my inner battles?
That is easy to answer and difficult to reconcile at the same time.
Inside of me resides two kinds of person. One is a romantic who believes in love, romance, tenderness, commitment, and finding and being with the one. The counter to this romantic side is logic. Now my logical side is cold, hard, and rational. It doesn't want me to open up, to expose myself to people less it result in hurt, ridicule, and a sense of loss. To make this easier lets refer to the romantic me as RM and the logical me as LM.
RM & LM battle every single day over almost everything. Now I'm sure you're scratching your head or laughing at that last statement thinking to yourself that they can't argue every day but trust me when I say they do that they really do. Well, really LM fights with RM and it sees that as it's primary purpose less RM do something stupid like fall in love. LM wasn't speaking to RM for a few days there last week but now he's back with a vengeance.
When I was dating C Romantic Me flourished and Logical Me was banished to the darkest depths of the emotional closet we all have and use as needed. Some people also refer to this closet as the place we store our baggage or even compartmentalizing one's emotions.
RM came out in how I expressed myself as I really saw things in a new light. Now I like my house but to be honest it has the same paint in all the rooms that it came with when I moved in 4 years ago. RM had started mentally nudging me to make some changes, to add some colour, to dare I say let my feelings show in a paint other than taupe.
RM had me rethinking my front and back yards and the layout of the walkway to my front door and possible changes to the side deck.
RM was looking at the things I eat and making subtle hints about adding some healthier choices to my diet and dropping some of the poorer choices I'd been making now for a few years.
RM loves a good movie that has a happy ending. RM is the part of me that makes me cry when the time is right, be it a movie, television show, line from a book, or lyrics from a song.
RM is all about the possibilities. RM believes that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. RM sees last minute trips to Dairy Queen for a soft serve cone or blizzard as critical to a relationship.
RM is the light that guides me in the darkest night as I try and find my way through life looking for friendship, love, and ultimately the One. RM is key to my happiness and reminds me that the line of J.P.'s from "Angels in the Outfield" that goes "It could happen" is far more true than most of us ever give credit.
LM doesn't like any of this and does it's best to show me the ugly truth about people and life. It reminds me for every sappy ending to a movie someone gets hurt along the way. LM doesn't like any colours other than black and white as that's how it sees the world. LM will point out that it's almost closing time or raining too hard to make that drive to DQ. LM thinks losing in love is pointless and tries to keep me from trying to reach out when the mood strikes me.
LM reminds me that love songs can make one feel hurt for the very reason that the writer actually did get hurt and chose to put that pain into words in order to share the pain.
RM likes Taylor Swift for the romance and LM likes her for calling out all of her former boyfriends in her lyrics. Probably the only time I can think of when the two agreed on something.
Logical Me has been having a field day reminding me of just how much I've been hurting lately, the paralysis I've felt over C, and that I'm better off not thinking about her and getting on with my life, my very single and not committed life.
Romantic Me took a break to recharge his batteries but came back with fury today. RM reminded me that while I may be hurting that nothing has been written in stone, this last chapter of this book hasn't been penned yet. RM reminds me that when I am open to love and being honest with myself and those around me my sense of calmness is so large that almost nothing gets me down.
Romantic Me has been countering the hurt with random acts of kindness whenever the situation presents itself the past few days. Romantic Me is forgiving. Romantic Me embraces new chances and doesn't hold a grudge.
Romantic Me awaits a text message and won't listen as Logical Me says not to bothering holding my breathe for it.
So while I am composed of both romance and logic, that while they may war for control of my emotions, that logic wants my brain to win out over my heart, I chose love. I chose romance. I chose the opportunities that life has yet to bring me.
We all have these inner battles. The key to make sure you side with the one that has your real best interests at heart, and when think of it doesn't romance involve the heart..........
Today's song is "Golden Slumbers" by The Beatles
I bet the title of this post has you wondering what my real topic will be about since I like to say one thing and mean something else, well rest assured that today's subject really is about the daily battle I have with myself, one I've had for as long as I can remember.
No, that isn't some reference to having a mental issue, but so what if it was, are we not able to be open with one another to discuss such things if one of us was actually facing those kinds of demons? I'd like to think we've evolved but I admit there are still those who think adults, and in particular men, have to grow up, be strong, and to quote my stepfather, grow a pair.
I'm sad that my mom didn't get to see grandson and thankful he was never exposed to the vitriol my stepfather was famous for dishing out. Actually, I would have never allowed that man near my children so I guess I'm really only sorry my mom isn't around for her grandchildren.
OK, sorry about that, seems like I sort of got off track there for a moment, happens when one tends to think about this, that, and a little bit of everything and just free form write his thoughts. Mea Culpa!
So what exactly do I mean by my inner battles?
That is easy to answer and difficult to reconcile at the same time.
Inside of me resides two kinds of person. One is a romantic who believes in love, romance, tenderness, commitment, and finding and being with the one. The counter to this romantic side is logic. Now my logical side is cold, hard, and rational. It doesn't want me to open up, to expose myself to people less it result in hurt, ridicule, and a sense of loss. To make this easier lets refer to the romantic me as RM and the logical me as LM.
RM & LM battle every single day over almost everything. Now I'm sure you're scratching your head or laughing at that last statement thinking to yourself that they can't argue every day but trust me when I say they do that they really do. Well, really LM fights with RM and it sees that as it's primary purpose less RM do something stupid like fall in love. LM wasn't speaking to RM for a few days there last week but now he's back with a vengeance.
When I was dating C Romantic Me flourished and Logical Me was banished to the darkest depths of the emotional closet we all have and use as needed. Some people also refer to this closet as the place we store our baggage or even compartmentalizing one's emotions.
RM came out in how I expressed myself as I really saw things in a new light. Now I like my house but to be honest it has the same paint in all the rooms that it came with when I moved in 4 years ago. RM had started mentally nudging me to make some changes, to add some colour, to dare I say let my feelings show in a paint other than taupe.
RM had me rethinking my front and back yards and the layout of the walkway to my front door and possible changes to the side deck.
RM was looking at the things I eat and making subtle hints about adding some healthier choices to my diet and dropping some of the poorer choices I'd been making now for a few years.
RM loves a good movie that has a happy ending. RM is the part of me that makes me cry when the time is right, be it a movie, television show, line from a book, or lyrics from a song.
RM is all about the possibilities. RM believes that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. RM sees last minute trips to Dairy Queen for a soft serve cone or blizzard as critical to a relationship.
RM is the light that guides me in the darkest night as I try and find my way through life looking for friendship, love, and ultimately the One. RM is key to my happiness and reminds me that the line of J.P.'s from "Angels in the Outfield" that goes "It could happen" is far more true than most of us ever give credit.
LM doesn't like any of this and does it's best to show me the ugly truth about people and life. It reminds me for every sappy ending to a movie someone gets hurt along the way. LM doesn't like any colours other than black and white as that's how it sees the world. LM will point out that it's almost closing time or raining too hard to make that drive to DQ. LM thinks losing in love is pointless and tries to keep me from trying to reach out when the mood strikes me.
LM reminds me that love songs can make one feel hurt for the very reason that the writer actually did get hurt and chose to put that pain into words in order to share the pain.
RM likes Taylor Swift for the romance and LM likes her for calling out all of her former boyfriends in her lyrics. Probably the only time I can think of when the two agreed on something.
Logical Me has been having a field day reminding me of just how much I've been hurting lately, the paralysis I've felt over C, and that I'm better off not thinking about her and getting on with my life, my very single and not committed life.
Romantic Me took a break to recharge his batteries but came back with fury today. RM reminded me that while I may be hurting that nothing has been written in stone, this last chapter of this book hasn't been penned yet. RM reminds me that when I am open to love and being honest with myself and those around me my sense of calmness is so large that almost nothing gets me down.
Romantic Me has been countering the hurt with random acts of kindness whenever the situation presents itself the past few days. Romantic Me is forgiving. Romantic Me embraces new chances and doesn't hold a grudge.
Romantic Me awaits a text message and won't listen as Logical Me says not to bothering holding my breathe for it.
So while I am composed of both romance and logic, that while they may war for control of my emotions, that logic wants my brain to win out over my heart, I chose love. I chose romance. I chose the opportunities that life has yet to bring me.
We all have these inner battles. The key to make sure you side with the one that has your real best interests at heart, and when think of it doesn't romance involve the heart..........
Monday, May 25, 2015
Kids to the rescue
Monday, May 25/15
Today's song is "Fooling Yourself" by Styx
Some blogger background here......Styx was the very first concert I ever attended back at the Fox Theatre in San Diego. The Mr. Roboto tour if memory serves and one awesome show to attend.
So over the weekend my kids came to my rescue without even meaning to or even knowing what they had done to save dear old dad once again.
It started on Friday at my son's soccer practice and a comment he made to his teammates when they were being a tad rude to the new assistant, that would be me, telling them to knock it off and maybe as a team they could learn something from an experienced coach. One of the kids made a comment saying he was sure I didn't know much about the game when both my son and two of his teammates who played for me before laughed at him and one said "You are right, he probably can't teach you anything but he taught us how to play like champions and guided our teams to two first place finishes and a perfect season over the last three years" and then all turned looked at one another before turning to face me and gave me their undivided attention.
When this season started my goal was to be a soccer dad and not coach at all but there have been some issues with the assistant coach assigned to his competitive team and they asked me to reconsider if I could help out. I had a long talk with my son and he said he'd be ok with it as long as I didn't go overboard and we both laughed.
I'm happy to help and am working really hard to stay in the background as this is his season to shine on his own and so far he's been more than holding his own against kids with years of rep soccer under their belts.
Saturday saw the next incident to make me smile and thank the stars above for the kids I've been blessed to parent. I was out having some sushi with my son and as we were leaving the restaurant a woman and her teenage daughters were walking up and my son held the door open for them and wished them a great lunch. Nothing too special about it except most kids would have stepped out the door and reached back to hold it open but he stepped back inside and held it open so they had room to come in together. As we walked across the parking lot a man came out of the restaurant and called out to us to please wait up, as he walked up to us he reached out and shook my son's hand and thanked him for being so polite and showing his daughters how a real gentlemen acts and turned to me to say I should be proud of the man I'd raised. I smiled and told him he had no idea how proud my son makes me day in and day out. As we got into the car I told him what a wonderful son he was and to remind me to compliment his mom on raising him the right way and the laughed and said it was all my doing. I'll admit to looking out the window so he couldn't see my eyes glistening at his remark.
The final act came Sunday night when out of the blue my daughter stopped by to say hi and give me a hug. I asked her what that was for and she smiled and said it was payback for all the hugs I have her over the years when she was feeling down about something. I guess I looked a little confused as she told me that she knew I was having a rough time with things and this was her way of reminding me that I'm not walking it alone, my family is there and they've got my back.
I've done my best to raise my kids to be respectful, caring, and empathetic to those around us. My ex has done the same and I'd like to think that between us we've done a good job, it's weekends like the one just passed that I'm reminded of the two greatest things I've ever been part of...........
Today's song is "Fooling Yourself" by Styx
Some blogger background here......Styx was the very first concert I ever attended back at the Fox Theatre in San Diego. The Mr. Roboto tour if memory serves and one awesome show to attend.
So over the weekend my kids came to my rescue without even meaning to or even knowing what they had done to save dear old dad once again.
It started on Friday at my son's soccer practice and a comment he made to his teammates when they were being a tad rude to the new assistant, that would be me, telling them to knock it off and maybe as a team they could learn something from an experienced coach. One of the kids made a comment saying he was sure I didn't know much about the game when both my son and two of his teammates who played for me before laughed at him and one said "You are right, he probably can't teach you anything but he taught us how to play like champions and guided our teams to two first place finishes and a perfect season over the last three years" and then all turned looked at one another before turning to face me and gave me their undivided attention.
When this season started my goal was to be a soccer dad and not coach at all but there have been some issues with the assistant coach assigned to his competitive team and they asked me to reconsider if I could help out. I had a long talk with my son and he said he'd be ok with it as long as I didn't go overboard and we both laughed.
I'm happy to help and am working really hard to stay in the background as this is his season to shine on his own and so far he's been more than holding his own against kids with years of rep soccer under their belts.
Saturday saw the next incident to make me smile and thank the stars above for the kids I've been blessed to parent. I was out having some sushi with my son and as we were leaving the restaurant a woman and her teenage daughters were walking up and my son held the door open for them and wished them a great lunch. Nothing too special about it except most kids would have stepped out the door and reached back to hold it open but he stepped back inside and held it open so they had room to come in together. As we walked across the parking lot a man came out of the restaurant and called out to us to please wait up, as he walked up to us he reached out and shook my son's hand and thanked him for being so polite and showing his daughters how a real gentlemen acts and turned to me to say I should be proud of the man I'd raised. I smiled and told him he had no idea how proud my son makes me day in and day out. As we got into the car I told him what a wonderful son he was and to remind me to compliment his mom on raising him the right way and the laughed and said it was all my doing. I'll admit to looking out the window so he couldn't see my eyes glistening at his remark.
The final act came Sunday night when out of the blue my daughter stopped by to say hi and give me a hug. I asked her what that was for and she smiled and said it was payback for all the hugs I have her over the years when she was feeling down about something. I guess I looked a little confused as she told me that she knew I was having a rough time with things and this was her way of reminding me that I'm not walking it alone, my family is there and they've got my back.
I've done my best to raise my kids to be respectful, caring, and empathetic to those around us. My ex has done the same and I'd like to think that between us we've done a good job, it's weekends like the one just passed that I'm reminded of the two greatest things I've ever been part of...........
Sunday, May 24, 2015
I'm trying but it's so damn hard at times
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Today's song is "Flickers" by London Grammar
The past few days have been kind of rough as I've been doing that whole introspection thing and I still can't make heads or tails of what happened with my relationship.
Maybe the reason I was given for the breakup is real but there is a huge part of me that feels like there was something else and that kind of makes me angry as I think I deserve to know how things went from a vacation in Jamaica, being her date at her organizations annual ball, a house hunting trip around her new position, to talking about how we'll handle the long distance to not being ready for a relationship or having enough time for one.........
It is this not knowing that has me sleeping no more than a few hours a night and keeping my mind racing all over the place exploring all the options, sometimes I wish I drank more so that I could just drown the sorrow and confusion and than I mentally kick myself for the thought as that would just bring on a whole new set of problems.
Will I get over this and once more take forward steps? Absolutely! But I think this is going to take me more time than I originally thought as I didn't really understand the depth of my feelings or the hole in my heart that needs time to not only heal but once more allow anyone to get close. You see by nature I am a loner and the mere fact that C was able to get close says a lot about her and what I thought she brought to the table.
I can't count the number of things each day that remind me how much she impacted my life.
Was I not man enough? Her line of work has some of the most extreme Alpha males so there was always a little insecurity lurking inside me that I didn't compare to the men she sees on a daily basis, but I always tried to remind myself that she contacted me first and used that to assuage my fears.
After our first date I didn't think I was good enough for her and tried to push her away but her first question to me was "are you breaking up with me?" and it dawned on me that after one date there really was something clicking between us and maybe I needed to give myself and us a chance so we spoke for a few hours and made the move to continue seeing one another until one day out of the blue as we were saying our goodbyes at the end of a telephone call I said those magic words "I love you" and then there was a very long pause by both of us.....me not because I didn't mean it but for the simple realization that it felt so right to say and her, well maybe there was some shock on her end but I can't say so for sure. She did eventually say the same words back to me so I think it was good.
There are mornings I get up and think to myself I need to send her a text wishing her a good day like we used to exchange or that I haven't heard from her saying she'd gotten to work ok and hoping I had a great day when it slowly dawns on me that isn't happening anymore and I have to put my cell phone back down on the counter.
We didn't even have a fight, like not once that I can recall. Hell, I don't think we even had any disagreements and yet one day it was all over, that is what makes it so hard to understand and accept. Maybe accept isn't the right word as it does take two to make a relationship so in the end I have to accept it but it doesn't make it easier to swallow.
I think back and it feels like I saw a better future with C than I did with my ex and that both surprises me and makes me happy as it means my love wasn't misplaced at all. I moved over three thousand miles to be with my ex and there were times I admit I wondered if I'd made a mistake but I hung in there and ended up with a couple of amazing kids where with C that wasn't really an option, both our choices, and yet the future I saw with her made me feel far more relaxed and calm than I ever saw myself with my children's mother.
I've never been one to think too far ahead and yet with C this just seemed to come naturally. I didn't worry about having to be with her 24/7 as she has her own life and we seemed comfortable doing our own things when we couldn't be together, there wasn't this pressure to spend every free second with one another that I think puts a lot of strain on a new relationship. But at the same time I relished my time with her and found it so easy to just relax and do the little things that make a real relationship like getting groceries or even cutting the lawn. I wanted to do things with and for her not because I felt I had to but because I wanted to do things that would make her smile and take a something off her list. I guess you can say I fully participated in a relationship for the first time as I'm sure my ex would confirm that wasn't me in our marriage, and yes I feel bad about that as well.
In the past I've blogged that love brings both pain and joy, that it shows you that you are alive through the emotions it makes you feel, and that is so damn true as I feel all of them right now.
I had a girlfriend just two weeks ago and now I don't, it sucks so damn much and there isn't much I can do about it.
I want to call her but I can't do that as it isn't what she wants.
I want to wake up next to her and see the morning smile she used to flash me but those are now nothing more than memories.
I miss her and wonder if I even cross her mind anymore......
That might sound harsh but from what I can tell she has kept herself busy with friends and getting ready for her big move, things I thought I'd be helping with but not now.
I've read this posting twice now and almost deleted it to write another but I've tried to be honest with my feelings and though it doesn't paint me in a very good picture it does reflect how I feel these days.
Time will heal my wounds and I'm counting on it as I'm in love but need to let go so the heart can heal and maybe once again skip a beat, skip a beat for a smile, skip a beat for a whispered word in my ear, skip abeat for the touch of a hand, or the brush of lips against mine, but skip a beat once more it shall..........
My name is Marcus and this is my ongoing blog about being a single dad, dating, loving, getting over things, and moving forward with my life.
Today's song is "Flickers" by London Grammar
The past few days have been kind of rough as I've been doing that whole introspection thing and I still can't make heads or tails of what happened with my relationship.
Maybe the reason I was given for the breakup is real but there is a huge part of me that feels like there was something else and that kind of makes me angry as I think I deserve to know how things went from a vacation in Jamaica, being her date at her organizations annual ball, a house hunting trip around her new position, to talking about how we'll handle the long distance to not being ready for a relationship or having enough time for one.........
It is this not knowing that has me sleeping no more than a few hours a night and keeping my mind racing all over the place exploring all the options, sometimes I wish I drank more so that I could just drown the sorrow and confusion and than I mentally kick myself for the thought as that would just bring on a whole new set of problems.
Will I get over this and once more take forward steps? Absolutely! But I think this is going to take me more time than I originally thought as I didn't really understand the depth of my feelings or the hole in my heart that needs time to not only heal but once more allow anyone to get close. You see by nature I am a loner and the mere fact that C was able to get close says a lot about her and what I thought she brought to the table.
I can't count the number of things each day that remind me how much she impacted my life.
Was I not man enough? Her line of work has some of the most extreme Alpha males so there was always a little insecurity lurking inside me that I didn't compare to the men she sees on a daily basis, but I always tried to remind myself that she contacted me first and used that to assuage my fears.
After our first date I didn't think I was good enough for her and tried to push her away but her first question to me was "are you breaking up with me?" and it dawned on me that after one date there really was something clicking between us and maybe I needed to give myself and us a chance so we spoke for a few hours and made the move to continue seeing one another until one day out of the blue as we were saying our goodbyes at the end of a telephone call I said those magic words "I love you" and then there was a very long pause by both of us.....me not because I didn't mean it but for the simple realization that it felt so right to say and her, well maybe there was some shock on her end but I can't say so for sure. She did eventually say the same words back to me so I think it was good.
There are mornings I get up and think to myself I need to send her a text wishing her a good day like we used to exchange or that I haven't heard from her saying she'd gotten to work ok and hoping I had a great day when it slowly dawns on me that isn't happening anymore and I have to put my cell phone back down on the counter.
We didn't even have a fight, like not once that I can recall. Hell, I don't think we even had any disagreements and yet one day it was all over, that is what makes it so hard to understand and accept. Maybe accept isn't the right word as it does take two to make a relationship so in the end I have to accept it but it doesn't make it easier to swallow.
I think back and it feels like I saw a better future with C than I did with my ex and that both surprises me and makes me happy as it means my love wasn't misplaced at all. I moved over three thousand miles to be with my ex and there were times I admit I wondered if I'd made a mistake but I hung in there and ended up with a couple of amazing kids where with C that wasn't really an option, both our choices, and yet the future I saw with her made me feel far more relaxed and calm than I ever saw myself with my children's mother.
I've never been one to think too far ahead and yet with C this just seemed to come naturally. I didn't worry about having to be with her 24/7 as she has her own life and we seemed comfortable doing our own things when we couldn't be together, there wasn't this pressure to spend every free second with one another that I think puts a lot of strain on a new relationship. But at the same time I relished my time with her and found it so easy to just relax and do the little things that make a real relationship like getting groceries or even cutting the lawn. I wanted to do things with and for her not because I felt I had to but because I wanted to do things that would make her smile and take a something off her list. I guess you can say I fully participated in a relationship for the first time as I'm sure my ex would confirm that wasn't me in our marriage, and yes I feel bad about that as well.
In the past I've blogged that love brings both pain and joy, that it shows you that you are alive through the emotions it makes you feel, and that is so damn true as I feel all of them right now.
I had a girlfriend just two weeks ago and now I don't, it sucks so damn much and there isn't much I can do about it.
I want to call her but I can't do that as it isn't what she wants.
I want to wake up next to her and see the morning smile she used to flash me but those are now nothing more than memories.
I miss her and wonder if I even cross her mind anymore......
That might sound harsh but from what I can tell she has kept herself busy with friends and getting ready for her big move, things I thought I'd be helping with but not now.
I've read this posting twice now and almost deleted it to write another but I've tried to be honest with my feelings and though it doesn't paint me in a very good picture it does reflect how I feel these days.
Time will heal my wounds and I'm counting on it as I'm in love but need to let go so the heart can heal and maybe once again skip a beat, skip a beat for a smile, skip a beat for a whispered word in my ear, skip abeat for the touch of a hand, or the brush of lips against mine, but skip a beat once more it shall..........
My name is Marcus and this is my ongoing blog about being a single dad, dating, loving, getting over things, and moving forward with my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)