First and Foremost I am..............

Monday, June 01/15

Today's song is "My Type" by Saint Motel


First and foremost I am..................................a dad

Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of life we can lose track of that which is our most important role and that sort of happened to me over the last week with my son but a couple of things came about that reminded me of where my real responsibility lies.

Last Thursday was his first ever representative soccer game and he was pretty nervous about it and no matter how I tried to reassure him that he was going to be fine he just didn't hear me.  The game turned out to be a total nightmare as we went down 6-1 but it wasn't for lack of effort and he played really well for his first real run against a determined opponent. We talked about the game on the drive home and he admitted he thought he didn't do too badly and could hold his own against the other players. He also thanked me for being so supportive of him in this new adventure and I reminded him that that's my job as his dad, encourage him in new adventures and be there to help him get up when life knocks him down so he can go right back at it!!

When we got home he complained about feeling some pressure on his chest and having some issues breathing so I monitored him and when he started to cry knew it was time to leave for the hospital. Now some parents might have tried to wait out the night to avoid the inevitable wait in the emergency room but when he was in CHEO back in '09 dealing with his abscess they mentioned they thought they'd detected a slight irregular heartbeat at one point but cleared him in early '10 with a visit to the head of cardiology, nevertheless that has always stuck with his mother and I so we pay attention when he mentions things.  As luck would have it everything turned out fine and they figured out he was suffering from acid reflux triggered by eating less than an hour before he ran the entire 90 minute game. Colour me one relieved father who is going back to bland pasta for his pregame meal and skipping all pasta sauces from now on. As we drove home at 2am he reached over and patted my hand as he was falling asleep and thanked me for taking care of him.

I let him sleep in on Friday and we had sushi for lunch before I dropped him off at school so he could complete his English RST and then begin his week with his mom.

As I was getting my stuff ready for the weekend soccer tournament his team was playing in I got a text from him thanking me for being there for him last night and I just told him I love him and I'd see him on Saturday.

Saturday dawned cloudy, chilly, and with the promise of rain in the afternoon.  Now I've coached teams in the Icebreaker tournament before and it's one of those where one day you can get a severe sunburn and frostbite the next day so I come prepared: water, toque, sunscreen, snacks, and jackets.

Our first game ended in a draw that saw us go right to penalty kicks but for some reason the referee wouldn't let either the head coach or myself as the assistant to talk to the lads about who we wanted to take the kicks nor let one of them come to the sideline for instructions. As the head coach went to talk to the game marshal he told me to yell out to the lads who he wanted taking the kicks but the referee had already taken down the shooters after talking to the boys, not knowing this I was yelling out the names to kick but seems I was yelling too loud as it upset my son and made him think I was angry as well as pissing off his mom who knew he wasn't happy. I tried talking to him after the game, which we won 2-1, but he was too upset and told me he didn't want me coaching as I got too involved with the games. I was hurt and we didn't really speak for the rest the remaining 2 round robin games.

The head coach then dropped the bombshell on me that he had to miss the 4th game as he was travelling on Sunday for work and would miss the Sunday games as well as our practices and league game this week but was sure I could handle things.

Now we lost players to injuries and had a couple missing due to prior commitments so what was a 16 player squad was down to 12 for the 4th game and only 11 for Sunday's game.

I spent Saturday night trying to get warm and thinking far too much about soccer and where I went wrong in that my son didn't want me to coach him anymore when around midnight it struck me and I knew what I had to do.

Sunday morning as the lads were arriving for our game I pulled my son aside and told him that I liked coaching soccer and was pretty damn good at it, the one thing I do that I have absolutely no self confidence issues about, but that I loved him and I didn't want this to be about me but rather about him as this was his first experience with competitive soccer and I had already had a conversation with the clubs head coach asking him to find a replacement for me as my relationship with my son was the most important thing to me. He asked me to cover for the week and they'd have someone in place for next week and I said that would be fine. My son asked me if I was OK stepping away and just being a soccer dad and I smiled and told him I was more than fine with it as it went along with being his dad perfectly well.

We lost our opener on Sunday 1-0 in a game we should have won but sometimes the ball doesn't always bounce the way we want it too. We dropped into the consolation game and played a whale of a game with only 11 players winning 1-0 on a awesome run and shot by my son. As he turned and ran into the arms of his teammates to celebrate he looked over at me and winked, letting me know that one was for me.

I can't lie and say I won't miss coaching him but I'll love being able to actually cheer for him as a dad whereas as a coach I wasn't really able to do that kind of thing. One added bonus is that now I'll be able to watch my daughters competitive team play on my off week custody wise as they both play on the same night.

Ironically, my daughter asked me if I was now free to help her team and I told her I think being a soccer parent was my job this summer.

So first and foremost I am a dad. Well I'm dad to my 16 y/o son and daddy to my 26 y/o daughter :)

What are you?