Closure via a Dream?

Friday, June 19/2015

Today's song is "Enter Sandman" by Metallica

You have to watch the YouTube Video of this song where Metallica has teamed up with the San Francisco Philharmonic Orchestra as it is one of the best I've ever seen.  Any time a performer or group can pair up with a orchestra or individual classical artist I'm all in.

So Wednesday night was one of those nights you come to dread as I was feeling really tired and ended up crashing around 9:30pm.  Now it was a very restless sleep and saw me waking up around 4:15am to the sound of Moki standing next to my bed barking at me. Took me a second or two to figure out what was going on but as the fog of waking up wore off I realized I'd been having a very vivid dream and had woken up almost sobbing......

The dream came back in a flash and I'm not going to get into any of the details as they are quite personal and would leave me feeling far too vulnerable at this point than I'm comfortable with online.

I will say that it did involve C and some thoughts I'd had about why she ended things between us.

Now this almost closure isn't perfect and my thoughts aren't confirmed in any way yet I still have a sense of ease once more in my life, almost feels like life is moving forward and offers me some new options. Options not so much in the dating world as I'm still far too raw for that but more in the sense of being open to trying new things.

As my heart calmed down and I felt more relaxed, I sipped some water and pulled the blankets back to try and go back to sleep, Moki jumped up on my bed and curled herself into a ball at the foot as if to say she had my back and would make sure nothing else bad happened. Just before I fell asleep I saw her lift her head and look up at me as if to say "I miss her too but we'll get through this together dude"

I haven't golfed much given the job situation but did make plans to meet some friends next weekend for a round of golf and some overall ribbing.  There is a lot to be said for being teased by buddies over a really bad shot.

Today is Friday and the weekend is here, Father's Day and all, so I'll be doing my dad thing once my son comes over after work, feels kind of good to be saying that once again.

For all the single mom's out there doing the parenting full time on your own, let me say Happy Father's Day to each and every one of you. It is tough being both parents but the rewards far outweigh any heartache.