Wednesday, June 28/17
So the two most important males in my life will have both had major milestones this week and I couldn't be happier for them if I tried.
Sunday was baby Jack's baptism and he was so adorable. His mom had him dressed up in a cute outfit that included suspenders and a bow tie. Now I admit that I'm probably a tad bit biased but my grandson totally rocks a bow tie, doesn't hurt that he already knows how to flash a smirky smile, I'm thinking there are many hearts to be broken by that lad before not very long.
One cool fact that my son is actually is nephew's Godfather. Don't think I've ever seen my son smile so much as when he was holding his nephew, there is a real bond there and it's only going to get stronger as baby Jack grows and realizes his uncle will always be there for him and have his back no matter what.
I took lots of pictures and have been sharing them with friends and family but will continue to practice my policy of not posting information or images of my family in order to let them remain private, sorry but there won't be any changes in my approach to that aspect of my life.
Now the second event will occur tomorrow when my son graduates high school and moves onto the next phase of his life - university!!!
As good as I like to think I am with words I can honestly say that there is no way I can even begin to describe the pride and pleasure I feel right now just writing about it let alone the emotions that will course through me tomorrow as I sit there and watch him walk across the stage to receive his hard earned diploma.
I'm booked off tomorrow and as I was leaving work today everyone was wishing me well and telling me to pass on congratulations to my son, as well as to enjoy the moment, and my boss told me not to cry too much, making me laugh and say no promises as I know there will be a few tears as my youngest makes the walk.
This is the second time I'll be sitting in the audience watching one of my kids and it won't happen again for another eighteen years until my grandson makes the same walk himself, and walk it he will if the comments I've heard from my daughter and her fiance.
When I was in my thirties I used to wonder what being middle aged offered me and now I know all too well, more joy than I ever imagined as I get to watch my kids and grandson reach milestones and pass through the various phases of life.
As they do it offers me the chance to relive some of those same moments myself. First year university was exciting and scary at the same time, something I'll be able to relate to with my son, Raising a child as my daughter is now doing brings back some rich memories, times I was almost pissing myself with doubt if I could even get through a day alone with my daughter and than my son when he came along without something happening that I couldn't handle.
Life brings us many challenges but I honestly don't think any are presented that we can't really meet head on if we just put our minds to it and try our hardest.
My name is Marcus and I cried a little on Sunday when my grandson was baptized and I'm going to do so again tomorrow when my son raises his diploma above his head and makes eye contact with his mother and I in the audience.
I didn't really think of a musical suggestion for today's blog as I'm not sure one song could cover off both of these events but than it dawned on me the song just has to reflect my mood and it is a pretty damn good one right now so lets go with Hard Times by Paramore.....has a great beat and just makes me want to dance around whenever I hear it :)
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
Thursday, June 22, 2017
It's been a strange 7-10 days in my world
Thursday, June 22/17
So I can say with all honesty that the last 7 to 10 days have been a bit trying for a number of reasons, both good and bad.
It started with my central air pretty much giving up the ghost back on June 10th, just in time for the weather to turn hot. Temps in my house were hitting close to 88 on the main level and that meant that I was pretty much living in the man cave as it was quite a bit cooler down there as well as leaving Moki down in the laundry room in order to protect her from the heat while I was at work. Now before anyone gets upset at the thought of the wonder puppy in the laundry room while I was gone let me assure you it wasn't all that bad as I had her big pillow set up, lots of food, water, tonnes of her toys, and left the radio on for her as well as positioning her crate so it blocked the door and let her see out into the man cave and some natural light. I don't like having her down there but the alternative was to risk her health with the extreme heat and that wasn't something I was even going to contemplate.
This was followed up with the information about the ceremony for C's position and the endless advice I received from friends and family on what I should do with this information. The majority was to go up and watch the ceremony and maybe see if the connection could somehow be rekindled, with the minority just telling me to let sleeping dogs lay. I was torn and didn't make my final decision until the drive to my daughters place to celebrate Father's Day. Now my daughter wasn't aware of the situation until her brother opened that can of worms for me by telling her "Guess what dad is thinking of doing tomorrow?" as she opened the door for us........
As he told her what was going on the look in her eyes was enough to tell me it was time to cut those strings once and for all and the decision was easily made to stay away. I'd pretty much made that call before this little impromptu discussion as my going up would have only been for myself and not benefited C in the least. I remember something she told me when she made the move up the valley to take on the position back in 2015, that the ceremony was more for the person giving up the position than the person taking it on, that means it was about her and her getting to celebrate the last two years honing her skills doing what she has spent her entire career trying to achieve, and it was not in me to even bring a small bit of doubt to her day. I'm pretty sure I could have been very unobtrusive and remained in the background but it would have taken only a glimpse to possibly make something so special just a tad bit less special for her and that is something I would never knowingly do.
I had already booked off the week of the 19th as my son has his final exams that week and I wanted to be around to offer him support and encouragement as he has tended to get really stressed during this week, more often than not unnecessarily as he puts too much pressure on himself.
So Monday instead of driving up the valley I drove down to Smith Falls to play a course ranked in the top 50 in Canada in an attempt to keep my mind occupied. For the most part it worked and I played one of my best rounds of the year but it didn't happen without one hiccup.
It seems that when I was pulling some tees and the divot repair tool C gave me on the first tee box that I somehow knocked the ball maker off of it and didn't find this out till I went to mark my ball on the first green. I was pretty upset and viewed this as some form of karma for not going up to see what was happening at the ceremony. I got myself settled and I think just let everything I was feeling out on the drive I launched on the 11th hole as the two guys I was playing with just watched the ball and than looked at me and asked what or who the hell was I so mad at as I think the ball literally exploded off my driver and ended up about 325 yards away dead straight now the middle of the fairway of a long par 5....by far the longest drive I've ever managed playing this game over the last 25 plus years and it seemed to be what I needed as I seemed to calm down after that and felt the most at ease that I have over the last week or so. Golf really is my zen and I need to remember that going forward when things aren't going like I would hope.
Tuesday was all about getting the new A/C installed. Turned out to be an all day process and let me spend a lot of time catching up on some reading. By 6 pm my place was bearable and everyone got a good nights sleep.
Wednesday was his first exam and while he was sitting for it I met my daughter at a local gymnastics spot and got to spend sometime with my most awesome grandson. I had shaved and trimmed my goatee as I think it was confusing him as he'd been crying the last few times he saw me leaving me feeling a bit sad but the new look seems to do the trick as he was very chatty and full of smiles as we goofed around on a trampoline. We hit Costco after wards to stock up on some supplies as this Sunday is his baptism and there is going to be a large party once it's over. I also got in another round of golf and still managed to BBQ some steaks for dinner as my son moved onto studying for today's data management exam.
Now today started off on a very weird note as I awoke @ 6:30 to see the following text on my cell that seemed to come in around 1 this morning while I slept "Hey, Why didn't it work out? What did you do?"
Nothing too strange about the text itself as it could cover any number of stupid things I've done over the last year or so but for the fact that it showed as coming from a number and not someone actually in my contacts. You can imagine the thoughts that went through my mind as I lay there in bed wondering who sent me the text.
I replied with "Who is this?" and got a response back around 9 saying "Sorry, wrong number"
I thought about it for a moment before sending "Are you sure? Those questions seem to be right up my alley given events in my life" and was rewarded with "Pretty sure, nobody could fuck up as bad as my cousin did" and this got me to send "Again, not so sure as you've never met me lol"
As it turns out Ashley's cousin did manage to fuck up worse than I ever could by getting caught screwing his fiance's best friend one week before the big day. I feel bad for the bride to be but it's also nice to know that I'm not the only guy who has managed to fuck up a perfectly good relationship.
Seems I've also picked up a new friend in Ashley who has been texting me off and on all day. From dark clouds come forth silver linings.
So once my son was off to his exam I went and played some more golf before meeting my daughter at Chapters and buying some books for my grandson, hoping he is as into books as his grandfather and so looking forward to reading him some bedtime stories, especially on New Years Eve as I'm already lined up to babysit him while his mom goes to a friends wedding.
So my week off has been all about getting a new A/C, being there to help my son any way he needed while taking exams, getting to see my daughter and grandson, while dealing with the last vestiges of a failed relationship. With C's move to D.C. coming up it will also mean I won't have to worry about bumping into her in the west end, something that was in the back of my mind.
I ended my day with a viewing of one of my favourite movies, one that makes me optimistic that love might be out there waiting for me to open my eyes.......Love Actually
My name is Marcus and most times I'm in control but sometimes life gets to me and I doubt what my future holds relationship wise. Even as I experience these moments I try and be the best parent, friend, and golfer possible as I search for my one, the imperfectly perfect woman who will make me smile and feel butterflies once again :)
I had a different song in mind for today's musical suggestion but as I was writing this entry I was listening to some music videos on YouTube and came across this one.....Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield and think it pretty much sums up my feelings at the moment
So I can say with all honesty that the last 7 to 10 days have been a bit trying for a number of reasons, both good and bad.
It started with my central air pretty much giving up the ghost back on June 10th, just in time for the weather to turn hot. Temps in my house were hitting close to 88 on the main level and that meant that I was pretty much living in the man cave as it was quite a bit cooler down there as well as leaving Moki down in the laundry room in order to protect her from the heat while I was at work. Now before anyone gets upset at the thought of the wonder puppy in the laundry room while I was gone let me assure you it wasn't all that bad as I had her big pillow set up, lots of food, water, tonnes of her toys, and left the radio on for her as well as positioning her crate so it blocked the door and let her see out into the man cave and some natural light. I don't like having her down there but the alternative was to risk her health with the extreme heat and that wasn't something I was even going to contemplate.
This was followed up with the information about the ceremony for C's position and the endless advice I received from friends and family on what I should do with this information. The majority was to go up and watch the ceremony and maybe see if the connection could somehow be rekindled, with the minority just telling me to let sleeping dogs lay. I was torn and didn't make my final decision until the drive to my daughters place to celebrate Father's Day. Now my daughter wasn't aware of the situation until her brother opened that can of worms for me by telling her "Guess what dad is thinking of doing tomorrow?" as she opened the door for us........
As he told her what was going on the look in her eyes was enough to tell me it was time to cut those strings once and for all and the decision was easily made to stay away. I'd pretty much made that call before this little impromptu discussion as my going up would have only been for myself and not benefited C in the least. I remember something she told me when she made the move up the valley to take on the position back in 2015, that the ceremony was more for the person giving up the position than the person taking it on, that means it was about her and her getting to celebrate the last two years honing her skills doing what she has spent her entire career trying to achieve, and it was not in me to even bring a small bit of doubt to her day. I'm pretty sure I could have been very unobtrusive and remained in the background but it would have taken only a glimpse to possibly make something so special just a tad bit less special for her and that is something I would never knowingly do.
I had already booked off the week of the 19th as my son has his final exams that week and I wanted to be around to offer him support and encouragement as he has tended to get really stressed during this week, more often than not unnecessarily as he puts too much pressure on himself.
So Monday instead of driving up the valley I drove down to Smith Falls to play a course ranked in the top 50 in Canada in an attempt to keep my mind occupied. For the most part it worked and I played one of my best rounds of the year but it didn't happen without one hiccup.
It seems that when I was pulling some tees and the divot repair tool C gave me on the first tee box that I somehow knocked the ball maker off of it and didn't find this out till I went to mark my ball on the first green. I was pretty upset and viewed this as some form of karma for not going up to see what was happening at the ceremony. I got myself settled and I think just let everything I was feeling out on the drive I launched on the 11th hole as the two guys I was playing with just watched the ball and than looked at me and asked what or who the hell was I so mad at as I think the ball literally exploded off my driver and ended up about 325 yards away dead straight now the middle of the fairway of a long par 5....by far the longest drive I've ever managed playing this game over the last 25 plus years and it seemed to be what I needed as I seemed to calm down after that and felt the most at ease that I have over the last week or so. Golf really is my zen and I need to remember that going forward when things aren't going like I would hope.
Tuesday was all about getting the new A/C installed. Turned out to be an all day process and let me spend a lot of time catching up on some reading. By 6 pm my place was bearable and everyone got a good nights sleep.
Wednesday was his first exam and while he was sitting for it I met my daughter at a local gymnastics spot and got to spend sometime with my most awesome grandson. I had shaved and trimmed my goatee as I think it was confusing him as he'd been crying the last few times he saw me leaving me feeling a bit sad but the new look seems to do the trick as he was very chatty and full of smiles as we goofed around on a trampoline. We hit Costco after wards to stock up on some supplies as this Sunday is his baptism and there is going to be a large party once it's over. I also got in another round of golf and still managed to BBQ some steaks for dinner as my son moved onto studying for today's data management exam.
Now today started off on a very weird note as I awoke @ 6:30 to see the following text on my cell that seemed to come in around 1 this morning while I slept "Hey, Why didn't it work out? What did you do?"
Nothing too strange about the text itself as it could cover any number of stupid things I've done over the last year or so but for the fact that it showed as coming from a number and not someone actually in my contacts. You can imagine the thoughts that went through my mind as I lay there in bed wondering who sent me the text.
I replied with "Who is this?" and got a response back around 9 saying "Sorry, wrong number"
I thought about it for a moment before sending "Are you sure? Those questions seem to be right up my alley given events in my life" and was rewarded with "Pretty sure, nobody could fuck up as bad as my cousin did" and this got me to send "Again, not so sure as you've never met me lol"
As it turns out Ashley's cousin did manage to fuck up worse than I ever could by getting caught screwing his fiance's best friend one week before the big day. I feel bad for the bride to be but it's also nice to know that I'm not the only guy who has managed to fuck up a perfectly good relationship.
Seems I've also picked up a new friend in Ashley who has been texting me off and on all day. From dark clouds come forth silver linings.
So once my son was off to his exam I went and played some more golf before meeting my daughter at Chapters and buying some books for my grandson, hoping he is as into books as his grandfather and so looking forward to reading him some bedtime stories, especially on New Years Eve as I'm already lined up to babysit him while his mom goes to a friends wedding.
So my week off has been all about getting a new A/C, being there to help my son any way he needed while taking exams, getting to see my daughter and grandson, while dealing with the last vestiges of a failed relationship. With C's move to D.C. coming up it will also mean I won't have to worry about bumping into her in the west end, something that was in the back of my mind.
I ended my day with a viewing of one of my favourite movies, one that makes me optimistic that love might be out there waiting for me to open my eyes.......Love Actually
My name is Marcus and most times I'm in control but sometimes life gets to me and I doubt what my future holds relationship wise. Even as I experience these moments I try and be the best parent, friend, and golfer possible as I search for my one, the imperfectly perfect woman who will make me smile and feel butterflies once again :)
I had a different song in mind for today's musical suggestion but as I was writing this entry I was listening to some music videos on YouTube and came across this one.....Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield and think it pretty much sums up my feelings at the moment
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Happy Father's Day
Sunday, June 18/17
I would like to wish all the dad's out there a Happy Father's Day!!!
This means all the dad's in traditional families with both a mom and dad, all the dad's in the new modern family that mean's two dads, all the single men who are raising their children on their own, all the mom's pulling double duty as both mom and dad, all the uncles and brothers stepping up to do the right thing......well pretty much anyone who is acting like a dad and making sure children are safe, sound, and feeling loved in this day and age.
I'll be having dinner with my kids later and get to see both my daughter and son as well as my adorable grandson so all is well with me today.
Practice a random act of kindness today and see how just awesome you feel when you bring a smile to someone you don't even know :)
Marcus
I would like to wish all the dad's out there a Happy Father's Day!!!
This means all the dad's in traditional families with both a mom and dad, all the dad's in the new modern family that mean's two dads, all the single men who are raising their children on their own, all the mom's pulling double duty as both mom and dad, all the uncles and brothers stepping up to do the right thing......well pretty much anyone who is acting like a dad and making sure children are safe, sound, and feeling loved in this day and age.
I'll be having dinner with my kids later and get to see both my daughter and son as well as my adorable grandson so all is well with me today.
Practice a random act of kindness today and see how just awesome you feel when you bring a smile to someone you don't even know :)
Marcus
Thursday, June 15, 2017
A Pain Deeply Felt
Thursday, June 15/17
Well I just did something I vowed I wouldn't and made the call to see when the ceremony was for C's current position and found out its Monday.
I asked if I sent a card would she still get it and was told they would make sure to forward it to her down in Washington D.C. at her new position.
Now I sit here at my desk at work feeling totally lost and with an empty feeling deep inside me.
Guessing that being ever the romantic optimist about things really isn't meant for me and this is one of those times I should have completely ignored Gary as following his goading has taken me from being blissfully unaware to in the know and hurting once again.
None of which is anyone's fault but my own.
I wish C nothing but happiness and hope she finds her one.
Marcus
Well I just did something I vowed I wouldn't and made the call to see when the ceremony was for C's current position and found out its Monday.
I asked if I sent a card would she still get it and was told they would make sure to forward it to her down in Washington D.C. at her new position.
Now I sit here at my desk at work feeling totally lost and with an empty feeling deep inside me.
Guessing that being ever the romantic optimist about things really isn't meant for me and this is one of those times I should have completely ignored Gary as following his goading has taken me from being blissfully unaware to in the know and hurting once again.
None of which is anyone's fault but my own.
I wish C nothing but happiness and hope she finds her one.
Marcus
Saturday, June 3, 2017
Shut Up Gary!!!!
Saturday, June 03/17
"Shut up Gary!!"
Those words were ringing through my head most of the morning as I slogged my way through one of my worst rounds of golf in the last few years.
It's not that I was playing horribly but rather that I couldn't for the life of me string together more than two consecutive good swings during the entire round. I'd hit a huge drive, well huge for me at 240 yards, and than immediately shank my 3 wood an amazing 75 yards. Talk about wasting the previous shot and making a total muck of things.
I'd like to say that part of the problem was that fickle bitch Mother Nature and her steadfast refusal to allow summer to get here but I'm not sure she was the entire problem this morning.
Now on the subject of the weather this morning.......I was half expecting to get a first snow of the season discount as both Brandt and I were convinced we were going to see snow fall before the round was over......how cold was it? well it actually got colder as we played and not warmer as is the norm.
So why was I so upset with Gary and who the hell is this guy that he can make me so mad?
Gary is my inner voice.
Stop laughing, we all have one and I just happened to name mine Gary. It's a better than using Marcus as that would just be too weird now wouldn't it.
Gary likes to remind me of the distances I used to be able to hit, convincing me I still can, and than smirks when I leave my wedge short, as if I should have known better. Damn Gary and his mocking laugh.
Every now and again Gary will put just a twinge of doubt in the back of my mind in that little space he's carved out that makes me second guess my club selection.
Normally Gary likes to get me to up club after a good shot, making me think I can pull it off again. Case in point this morning after a great tee shot off on the finishing 18th that went about 265 yards and still left me over 280 yards from the green I started to reach for my 4 hybrid knowing I could use it to get me to within 100 yards and possibly finish the round with a chance at birdie or par at worst, but Gary had other plans, reminding me that as well as I hit that 4 I should be able to hit my new 3 hybrid even better, even though I hadn't used it all morning, so instead of doing what I knew was best for this shot I listened to Gary.........and promptly hit a knuckle shot that barely cleared the creek a hundred yards in front of me............where I did hit the 4 hybrid and smoked the crap out of it to just sit off the edge of the green......stupid Gary.
Even though I know Gary does not have my best interests at heart and costs me strokes during my rounds I also know I'm far from done listening to him when I play.....not just because I'm a glutton for punishment, which I am since I acknowledge being a golfer, but mostly due to the fact that his little jabs to man up and hit certain clubs has been beneficial to my game in that I know do hit my driver every chance I get, I'm pulling my 3 wood out on more of the longer par 3's that are running in excess of 200 yards, and I'll continue to do so going forward.
Gary might cost me some strokes now and again, ok more often than I'd like, but he has also helped get my game to the point where I can realistically see myself breaking 90 on a consistent basis this summer, when it arrives that is.
Now I can hear Gary chortling from his dank dark little cave and that's fine for now, he's sort of earned that right these past couple of years as he's also been there when I was dealing with all kinds of things reminding me that taking chances and failing always beats than sitting back and not even trying.
Shut up Gary, nobody wants to hear your thoughts on why I'm single...................
What do you call your inner voice, that source of doubt and confidence, that drive that keeps you moving forward?
Marcus
"Shut up Gary!!"
Those words were ringing through my head most of the morning as I slogged my way through one of my worst rounds of golf in the last few years.
It's not that I was playing horribly but rather that I couldn't for the life of me string together more than two consecutive good swings during the entire round. I'd hit a huge drive, well huge for me at 240 yards, and than immediately shank my 3 wood an amazing 75 yards. Talk about wasting the previous shot and making a total muck of things.
I'd like to say that part of the problem was that fickle bitch Mother Nature and her steadfast refusal to allow summer to get here but I'm not sure she was the entire problem this morning.
Now on the subject of the weather this morning.......I was half expecting to get a first snow of the season discount as both Brandt and I were convinced we were going to see snow fall before the round was over......how cold was it? well it actually got colder as we played and not warmer as is the norm.
So why was I so upset with Gary and who the hell is this guy that he can make me so mad?
Gary is my inner voice.
Stop laughing, we all have one and I just happened to name mine Gary. It's a better than using Marcus as that would just be too weird now wouldn't it.
Gary likes to remind me of the distances I used to be able to hit, convincing me I still can, and than smirks when I leave my wedge short, as if I should have known better. Damn Gary and his mocking laugh.
Every now and again Gary will put just a twinge of doubt in the back of my mind in that little space he's carved out that makes me second guess my club selection.
Normally Gary likes to get me to up club after a good shot, making me think I can pull it off again. Case in point this morning after a great tee shot off on the finishing 18th that went about 265 yards and still left me over 280 yards from the green I started to reach for my 4 hybrid knowing I could use it to get me to within 100 yards and possibly finish the round with a chance at birdie or par at worst, but Gary had other plans, reminding me that as well as I hit that 4 I should be able to hit my new 3 hybrid even better, even though I hadn't used it all morning, so instead of doing what I knew was best for this shot I listened to Gary.........and promptly hit a knuckle shot that barely cleared the creek a hundred yards in front of me............where I did hit the 4 hybrid and smoked the crap out of it to just sit off the edge of the green......stupid Gary.
Even though I know Gary does not have my best interests at heart and costs me strokes during my rounds I also know I'm far from done listening to him when I play.....not just because I'm a glutton for punishment, which I am since I acknowledge being a golfer, but mostly due to the fact that his little jabs to man up and hit certain clubs has been beneficial to my game in that I know do hit my driver every chance I get, I'm pulling my 3 wood out on more of the longer par 3's that are running in excess of 200 yards, and I'll continue to do so going forward.
Gary might cost me some strokes now and again, ok more often than I'd like, but he has also helped get my game to the point where I can realistically see myself breaking 90 on a consistent basis this summer, when it arrives that is.
Now I can hear Gary chortling from his dank dark little cave and that's fine for now, he's sort of earned that right these past couple of years as he's also been there when I was dealing with all kinds of things reminding me that taking chances and failing always beats than sitting back and not even trying.
Shut up Gary, nobody wants to hear your thoughts on why I'm single...................
What do you call your inner voice, that source of doubt and confidence, that drive that keeps you moving forward?
Marcus
Sunday, May 14, 2017
Happy Mother's Day
Sunday, May 14/17
I would like to take the time to wish all the mother's out there a very Happy Mother's Day.
Whether you are part of a traditional family with both parents present, a single mom carrying the entire parental load yourself, or a family with two mom's, please enjoy your day.
I woke up early this morning and after taking Moki for a walk sent out two texts to a couple of mom's who have always made me smile. One new to the game and one a veteran of many years.
The first went to my daughter as is her first year celebrating Mother's Day as a mom in her own right. She is an amazing mom and my grandson will always have her in his corner come what may in his life.
The second went to my ex, this being her 28th year doing the mom thing. She has been a rock of strength for both our daughter and our son over the years, making me feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to get to co-parent our incredible children. They may get their competitive mature and desire to learn but the empathy and caring they show those around them comes directly from the wonderful woman who gave birth to each of them.
I`m not sure if she`ll see this but I`d like to wish C a Happy Mother`s Day as well, hoping she was able to talk to her eldest and to spend time with her youngest this weekend. Another woman who makes me smile when I think of all the love she has inside her for those close to her.
So for one and all of you, here in Canada, North America, Europe, or Asia-Pacific..........
My name is Marcus and this makes up today`s post in its entirety.
Friday, May 12, 2017
Golf and Six Degrees of Separation
Friday, May 12/17
So it's been a little while since I last posted a blog and there really isn't any earth shattering reason for it other than I've kind of been in one of those "meh" moods we get now and again.
I think I'm shaking it off and thought I'd try my hand again at this little adventure I call "Observations of a Single Man"..........
Golf season opened on April 28th at many local courses and then almost as quickly closed due to the incredible amount of rain we've experienced all across Eastern Ontario and Western Quebec.
We've had so much rain that they've had to call out troops from CFB Petawawa to help construct dikes of sandbags to try and help control the flooding - my hats off to those troops brought down to help out, never an easy job and one they are called upon to do more often than not, often without the appreciation they deserve.
So before the rain hit I did manage to get a couple of rounds in, nothing spectacular but still early in the season so there is some rust to work off the swing and tempo. I didn't play horribly but I did notice a slight push in my swing and managed to get into see Jason last weekend @ Kevin Haime's and he identified the culprit and gave a couple of easy to implement tricks to help me get back to hitting them long and straight, ok more straight than long but that works for me.
My first round was on April 28th at GlenMar and a pretty slow round as the course was way busier than I expected. I was playing as a singe and got stuck behind a very slow twosome in front of me who made it a point to look back at me waiting on every tee box and not wave me through. Now last year that would have so pissed me off but I'm doing a much better job not letting those kinds of things bother me, instead I took the opportunity to actually look at all the sights around me, to listen to the sounds, and enjoy my moments. I did have a playing partner on the long par 5 2nd hole but I've been told large snapping turtles are not quick golfers at the best of times so I left him slowly making his way down the fairway.
I finished the front 9 at 10 over and decided a bit to eat would be nice, allow me to slow things down some, and put some carbs into my system.
I went to the 10th hole hoping the time I spent grabbing lunch would have allowed the slow twosome to get a few holes ahead of me and was happy not to see them anywhere on the 10th but did find another single getting ready to tee off. as I walked up he smiled and asked if I wanted to join him and play as a twosome. He seemed like a nice enough guy and I agreed as I'm always game to meet new people when I'm playing a round, have to say I've met some really interesting people over the years and think that's one of the pros to solo golfing.
We introduced ourselves and got a laugh out of it as his name was Mark and mine is Marcus.
We both hit decent shots off the tee and he made par while I took a bogey after leaving my wedge a little short and had to chip on and one putt.
The 11th is a very short 108 yard par 3 that requires a delicate shot that needs to stay right of the tree on the left hand side and get up and over the bunker that wraps around from the right front to almost the entire right side. Mark hit a soft shot that just came up short but that had taken both the tree and bunker out of play, leaving him with a soft chip and shot at par. Now I've never been overly fond of the 11th for both the tree and bunker tend to come into play whenever I play the hole so I took my time selecting my club. Once my swing mechanics get settled I'm thinking I'll be using my wedge with a nice and easy swing but for now I know my tendency will be to swing too softly and leave most shots a tad bit short so I went with my 9 and really focused on making perfect contact in order to drive the ball up and over that damn tree and let my natural fade work the ball from left to right, hopefully landing pin high and letting me have a shot at an early season birdie.
Now the say that even a broken clock is right two times a day and such was the case with my swing on that particular swing. I can't remember the last time I hit a sweeter short iron that performed exactly as I'd envisioned in my mind. I made solid contact with almost perfect club face alignment and watched it easily clear the tree and begin to slightly begin to fade right towards the pin. I wasn't sure it had enough height to hold the green and was worried it might slide off the back leaving me a very tough chip up the green with a downhill run and began imploring it to "bite" as it landed with barely any sound, rolling to within one foot of the pin. The closest I've ever come to a hole in one and not too damn bad for only the first round of the season.
Now this is where the six degrees of separation comes into play.
For those who've never heard of the six degrees of separation here is a quick reference courtesy of Google. Six degrees of separation is the idea that all living things and everything else in the world are six or fewer steps away from each other so that a chain of "a friend of a friend" statements can be made to connect any two people in a maximum of six steps. It was originally set out by Frigyes Karinthy in 1929 and popularized in an eponymous 1990 play written by John Guare.
As we walked up to the green Mark leaned over and gave me a high five as he laughed and said I still had to make the putt to earn my birdie. I smiled and reached into my pocket to get out my divot repair tool to fix the nice little hole my ball had made upon landing.
Mark made his chip and was still away so I marked my ball with the marker that came with the divot tool and moved away so as to not be in his line of sight as he lined up his putt. Now his approach was from behind my own ball but about a foot or so to the side so my marker shouldn't have caused him any issues but he seemed to hesitate a moment as he stood over his ball. I wasn't sure what the problem was and asked if he wanted me to move my marker to the side a bit more and he shook his head without saying a word, took a small swing and sank his par putt.
As he walked to the hole he looked down at my marker and than back at me without saying a word before moving off to give me a moment to get composed before attempting my own putt, but this one for a little bit more as birdies early in the season are rare. I didn't even hesitate and drained it right down the middle and can't tell you how good it felt.
He congratulated me again and asked me where I got the divot tool and ball marker as it isn't something one can just go and buy anywhere. At this point I should mention that we hadn't got to the part of the round where we were talking about what we did for as living or such things, that he carried himself in a certain way that made me think he was in a very definite line of work.
I pulled it out of my pocket and looked down at it and smiled as I thought back to the Christmas of 2014 when C gave it to me not knowing at the time she did so that it would become one of my most cherished possessions and a reminder of her that brings a smile to my face every time I hold it in my hand an look upon that simple logo.
I looked at Mark and noticed he was holding the same one in his hand.
We laughed and he asked me how long I'd been out and I smiled and said it was actually a gift from a very special woman who I used to date. He asked me where I knew her from and I mentioned up in the valley and his eyes lit up as he said he'd been there many times as he was working as an engineer with time split between New Brunswick, Ottawa, and the valley.
We talked about the various courses up in the valley and agreed that Pembroke Shores was in both of our top 5 courses.
We played the next few holes in good time with both of us playing pretty well.
As we got ready to tee off on 15 he laughed and said he'd noticed I hadn't mentioned the name of the lady who had given me the divot repair tool and I smiled and said I was respecting her privacy.
He smiled and bet a beer he could name her. Now normally I'm all in when it comes to such a wager, not because I like to drink but for the competition, but I sort of hesitated as I really do like to respect C's privacy and don't need people wondering what the she was ever doing slumming around with the likes of a guy such as myself, just kidding as I'm a damn good catch.
I smiled back and said I wasn't going to confirm or deny her name, making him say "well played" and he both laughed.
As we walked down the 15th fairway he looked over and said he knew exactly who she was. Before I could say anything he went down a list of who it couldn't be by eliminating those too young and those not professional, telling me he saw me as a manager type person in my own career and not likely to date the help so to speak, and that left a very small pool to work from. Two he knew were seeing someone, one was into dating the home team but not open about it, and that left three viable candidates to choose from but that it could only be one of them as he saw her as my type and understood from the gossip mill she'd been seeing someone a while back from Ottawa.
As I finished topping the ball from being mentally rattled, he said C's name, I thought I did a good job of not reacting but guess my acting isn't up to snuff as he smiled and said "nailed it"
I didn't ask him about her, even though I was dying to know, and to his credit he didn't say a work about her the rest of the round.
We finished out our round with Mark shooting a solid 41 and me one stroke back of him, that damn topped ball on 15 costing me two strokes.
As we walked off the 18th green we shook hands while saying we hoped to see one another over the course of the summer and thanked each other for a fun round. He said he hoped he hadn't upset me by figuring out who she was and I smiled and said not at all, I said talking to him had reminded me of some good memories and it was all good.
The truth is that it really is all good, It's taken me a lot longer to get to the point where I do think it's all good, but it is and it will remain good with me.
My name is Marcus and I'm doing my best to be a good father, good friend, co-worker, and maybe bump into the woman who thinks me not perfect but rather perfectly imperfect for her.
Today's musical suggestion is "Say It Right" by Nelly Furtado. It has a great beat and some interesting lyrics that are really what I'm trying to embrace in my own life.
So it's been a little while since I last posted a blog and there really isn't any earth shattering reason for it other than I've kind of been in one of those "meh" moods we get now and again.
I think I'm shaking it off and thought I'd try my hand again at this little adventure I call "Observations of a Single Man"..........
Golf season opened on April 28th at many local courses and then almost as quickly closed due to the incredible amount of rain we've experienced all across Eastern Ontario and Western Quebec.
We've had so much rain that they've had to call out troops from CFB Petawawa to help construct dikes of sandbags to try and help control the flooding - my hats off to those troops brought down to help out, never an easy job and one they are called upon to do more often than not, often without the appreciation they deserve.
So before the rain hit I did manage to get a couple of rounds in, nothing spectacular but still early in the season so there is some rust to work off the swing and tempo. I didn't play horribly but I did notice a slight push in my swing and managed to get into see Jason last weekend @ Kevin Haime's and he identified the culprit and gave a couple of easy to implement tricks to help me get back to hitting them long and straight, ok more straight than long but that works for me.
My first round was on April 28th at GlenMar and a pretty slow round as the course was way busier than I expected. I was playing as a singe and got stuck behind a very slow twosome in front of me who made it a point to look back at me waiting on every tee box and not wave me through. Now last year that would have so pissed me off but I'm doing a much better job not letting those kinds of things bother me, instead I took the opportunity to actually look at all the sights around me, to listen to the sounds, and enjoy my moments. I did have a playing partner on the long par 5 2nd hole but I've been told large snapping turtles are not quick golfers at the best of times so I left him slowly making his way down the fairway.
I finished the front 9 at 10 over and decided a bit to eat would be nice, allow me to slow things down some, and put some carbs into my system.
I went to the 10th hole hoping the time I spent grabbing lunch would have allowed the slow twosome to get a few holes ahead of me and was happy not to see them anywhere on the 10th but did find another single getting ready to tee off. as I walked up he smiled and asked if I wanted to join him and play as a twosome. He seemed like a nice enough guy and I agreed as I'm always game to meet new people when I'm playing a round, have to say I've met some really interesting people over the years and think that's one of the pros to solo golfing.
We introduced ourselves and got a laugh out of it as his name was Mark and mine is Marcus.
We both hit decent shots off the tee and he made par while I took a bogey after leaving my wedge a little short and had to chip on and one putt.
The 11th is a very short 108 yard par 3 that requires a delicate shot that needs to stay right of the tree on the left hand side and get up and over the bunker that wraps around from the right front to almost the entire right side. Mark hit a soft shot that just came up short but that had taken both the tree and bunker out of play, leaving him with a soft chip and shot at par. Now I've never been overly fond of the 11th for both the tree and bunker tend to come into play whenever I play the hole so I took my time selecting my club. Once my swing mechanics get settled I'm thinking I'll be using my wedge with a nice and easy swing but for now I know my tendency will be to swing too softly and leave most shots a tad bit short so I went with my 9 and really focused on making perfect contact in order to drive the ball up and over that damn tree and let my natural fade work the ball from left to right, hopefully landing pin high and letting me have a shot at an early season birdie.
Now the say that even a broken clock is right two times a day and such was the case with my swing on that particular swing. I can't remember the last time I hit a sweeter short iron that performed exactly as I'd envisioned in my mind. I made solid contact with almost perfect club face alignment and watched it easily clear the tree and begin to slightly begin to fade right towards the pin. I wasn't sure it had enough height to hold the green and was worried it might slide off the back leaving me a very tough chip up the green with a downhill run and began imploring it to "bite" as it landed with barely any sound, rolling to within one foot of the pin. The closest I've ever come to a hole in one and not too damn bad for only the first round of the season.
Now this is where the six degrees of separation comes into play.
For those who've never heard of the six degrees of separation here is a quick reference courtesy of Google. Six degrees of separation is the idea that all living things and everything else in the world are six or fewer steps away from each other so that a chain of "a friend of a friend" statements can be made to connect any two people in a maximum of six steps. It was originally set out by Frigyes Karinthy in 1929 and popularized in an eponymous 1990 play written by John Guare.
As we walked up to the green Mark leaned over and gave me a high five as he laughed and said I still had to make the putt to earn my birdie. I smiled and reached into my pocket to get out my divot repair tool to fix the nice little hole my ball had made upon landing.
Mark made his chip and was still away so I marked my ball with the marker that came with the divot tool and moved away so as to not be in his line of sight as he lined up his putt. Now his approach was from behind my own ball but about a foot or so to the side so my marker shouldn't have caused him any issues but he seemed to hesitate a moment as he stood over his ball. I wasn't sure what the problem was and asked if he wanted me to move my marker to the side a bit more and he shook his head without saying a word, took a small swing and sank his par putt.
As he walked to the hole he looked down at my marker and than back at me without saying a word before moving off to give me a moment to get composed before attempting my own putt, but this one for a little bit more as birdies early in the season are rare. I didn't even hesitate and drained it right down the middle and can't tell you how good it felt.
He congratulated me again and asked me where I got the divot tool and ball marker as it isn't something one can just go and buy anywhere. At this point I should mention that we hadn't got to the part of the round where we were talking about what we did for as living or such things, that he carried himself in a certain way that made me think he was in a very definite line of work.
I pulled it out of my pocket and looked down at it and smiled as I thought back to the Christmas of 2014 when C gave it to me not knowing at the time she did so that it would become one of my most cherished possessions and a reminder of her that brings a smile to my face every time I hold it in my hand an look upon that simple logo.
I looked at Mark and noticed he was holding the same one in his hand.
We laughed and he asked me how long I'd been out and I smiled and said it was actually a gift from a very special woman who I used to date. He asked me where I knew her from and I mentioned up in the valley and his eyes lit up as he said he'd been there many times as he was working as an engineer with time split between New Brunswick, Ottawa, and the valley.
We talked about the various courses up in the valley and agreed that Pembroke Shores was in both of our top 5 courses.
We played the next few holes in good time with both of us playing pretty well.
As we got ready to tee off on 15 he laughed and said he'd noticed I hadn't mentioned the name of the lady who had given me the divot repair tool and I smiled and said I was respecting her privacy.
He smiled and bet a beer he could name her. Now normally I'm all in when it comes to such a wager, not because I like to drink but for the competition, but I sort of hesitated as I really do like to respect C's privacy and don't need people wondering what the she was ever doing slumming around with the likes of a guy such as myself, just kidding as I'm a damn good catch.
I smiled back and said I wasn't going to confirm or deny her name, making him say "well played" and he both laughed.
As we walked down the 15th fairway he looked over and said he knew exactly who she was. Before I could say anything he went down a list of who it couldn't be by eliminating those too young and those not professional, telling me he saw me as a manager type person in my own career and not likely to date the help so to speak, and that left a very small pool to work from. Two he knew were seeing someone, one was into dating the home team but not open about it, and that left three viable candidates to choose from but that it could only be one of them as he saw her as my type and understood from the gossip mill she'd been seeing someone a while back from Ottawa.
As I finished topping the ball from being mentally rattled, he said C's name, I thought I did a good job of not reacting but guess my acting isn't up to snuff as he smiled and said "nailed it"
I didn't ask him about her, even though I was dying to know, and to his credit he didn't say a work about her the rest of the round.
We finished out our round with Mark shooting a solid 41 and me one stroke back of him, that damn topped ball on 15 costing me two strokes.
As we walked off the 18th green we shook hands while saying we hoped to see one another over the course of the summer and thanked each other for a fun round. He said he hoped he hadn't upset me by figuring out who she was and I smiled and said not at all, I said talking to him had reminded me of some good memories and it was all good.
The truth is that it really is all good, It's taken me a lot longer to get to the point where I do think it's all good, but it is and it will remain good with me.
My name is Marcus and I'm doing my best to be a good father, good friend, co-worker, and maybe bump into the woman who thinks me not perfect but rather perfectly imperfect for her.
Today's musical suggestion is "Say It Right" by Nelly Furtado. It has a great beat and some interesting lyrics that are really what I'm trying to embrace in my own life.
Monday, April 17, 2017
Another Rule of Three's.......All Related
Monday, April 17/17
So sometime in 2015 I posted an entry about the phenomena known as the Rule of Three.
Basically, the Rule of Three makes the hypothesis that events happen in a series of threes. Now normally the rule has been taken to mean these events are of like nature. Three deaths, three natural disasters, three accidents, and so on.
I had a series of three back in 2015 when I got the boot from one job, saw my relationship come to an end out of the blue, and in a twist on the rule, got a new job within a few weeks of the other one.
My contention was that I think the Rule of Three is real but not quite in the way we've always thought, it's real but it can be a combination of both bad and good outcomes. Now most often we do see the rule come into play with like events and/or outcomes but I tend think that is because we've been taught to expect it this way and never really thought to think outside the box when really giving it serious analysis.
Now over the past few weeks I've once again experienced the Rule of Three and in ways that both made me scratch my head wondering why and smile regardless of the reason.
Instance 1: I was watching a new show on The Discovery Channel called "Mighty Cruise Ships". It is a spin off of one of my favourite shows called "Mighty Ships". In it they go out on a cruise that is both unique and on one large cruise ship. The episode that started this off was about the maiden voyage of the Carnival Vista through the Caribbean. As I sat there watching the show it brought back some wonderful memories of my own trips down south over the years. The kicker came when the ship docked at Ocho Rios in Jamaica and the passengers debarked to spend the afternoon on excursions, one of which was a visit to Mystic Mountain for some zip lining and high speed bobsledding down the mountain. The scenes they showed could have come from my own time there with C and made me almost laugh out loud when I remembered her shouting at me to slow down when we took the bobsled down the mountain and I sort of forgot to ever apply the brakes.
Instance 2: I was doing some work on the computer and popped over to Facebook to see what was new with my circle of friends and came across one of those little posts that get created by Facebook out of your old posts in an attempt to remind you of some memory. This one was a picture of me and C in Jamaica where we're standing near a fresh water river just before heading in for a relaxing and cool dip while on a jeep tour of the island. The best parts are remembering how awesome that cold water felt on a very hot day and the smiles we shared all day long.
Now instance 3 took me a second to recognize when it happened but I think was the best of the bunch, at least in this humble writers opinion.
I was in the checkout line at Loblaws waiting my turn after grabbing a few things to make tacos for dinner with my son. There was a couple in front of me and I could tell where he worked by both his appearance and demeanor. I wasn't really paying too much attention to them until I overheard her telling him she had to go and buy a new dress for the party. Now hearing this peaked my attention as I knew just what party she was talking about as I'd had the good fortune to attend it back in 2015.
As she said that I could sense her husband sort of guffawing like it wasn't something all that critical but she soon put him in his place with a rather tart reply "Listen, this may be your party but it's mine just as much as it is yours, I'm the one home with the kids while you are out doing only God knows what, it's not just you waking up at 3am from a nightmare wondering if you are ok, this is my chance to see the others spouses dealing with all the same issues, our opportunity to forget for just a brief moment that you can be here one day and gone the next, literally and figuratively, so if I want to buy a Goddamn dress than I'm going to buy a Goddamn dress and don't want to hear a single thing from you about it, do you understand me MISTER!"
I must have laughed at the last part as both turned to look at me, him with a bit of embarrassment and her with a bit of what could only be called an impish smile.
I put my hands up and said "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I couldn't really help overhearing given how much emphasis your wife put into her response to you"
This made her laugh and him just shake his head as if he knew when he was beaten. I smiled and said to him that I'd been to the party she was referring to her and she was right, it was as much her celebration as yours. He looked at me as if trying to determine how I was at one since it is by strict invitation only and I don't look like I'd be the kind of person getting an invite. I smiled and said I'd been the plus one of someone back in 2015 and it had really opened my eyes to a lot of things.
His wife smiled and said "Amen" under her breath before asking me who I went with. I hesitated in my response as I still try my best to respect C's privacy and saying her name would have been breaking that vow. I said I'd been seeing someone who worked out of the primary downtown office and left it at that. His wife picked up on the past tense of my answer and just smiled at me knowing there was more to my answer than I was letting on.
As they paid for their items he turned to me and smiled, said sorry for the scowl, and wished me a good day. I smiled back and wished them a great time at the party.
I'll say this......it was one hell of a party the year I got to go and one I'll never forget.
I'm not sure why these three things happened or what they mean to me at the moment. In the long run maybe they'll make sense to me but for now I think I'll just let them bring a smile to my face as I remember those times and what one woman was able to bring into my life when I was willing to let the walls down.
My name is Marcus and I was once loved for who I was and maybe, just maybe, one day I'll be loved that way again.
I think today's musical suggestion should be a new indie artist I've come across named Hannah Georges and her song "Walls"
as well
So sometime in 2015 I posted an entry about the phenomena known as the Rule of Three.
Basically, the Rule of Three makes the hypothesis that events happen in a series of threes. Now normally the rule has been taken to mean these events are of like nature. Three deaths, three natural disasters, three accidents, and so on.
I had a series of three back in 2015 when I got the boot from one job, saw my relationship come to an end out of the blue, and in a twist on the rule, got a new job within a few weeks of the other one.
My contention was that I think the Rule of Three is real but not quite in the way we've always thought, it's real but it can be a combination of both bad and good outcomes. Now most often we do see the rule come into play with like events and/or outcomes but I tend think that is because we've been taught to expect it this way and never really thought to think outside the box when really giving it serious analysis.
Now over the past few weeks I've once again experienced the Rule of Three and in ways that both made me scratch my head wondering why and smile regardless of the reason.
Instance 1: I was watching a new show on The Discovery Channel called "Mighty Cruise Ships". It is a spin off of one of my favourite shows called "Mighty Ships". In it they go out on a cruise that is both unique and on one large cruise ship. The episode that started this off was about the maiden voyage of the Carnival Vista through the Caribbean. As I sat there watching the show it brought back some wonderful memories of my own trips down south over the years. The kicker came when the ship docked at Ocho Rios in Jamaica and the passengers debarked to spend the afternoon on excursions, one of which was a visit to Mystic Mountain for some zip lining and high speed bobsledding down the mountain. The scenes they showed could have come from my own time there with C and made me almost laugh out loud when I remembered her shouting at me to slow down when we took the bobsled down the mountain and I sort of forgot to ever apply the brakes.
Instance 2: I was doing some work on the computer and popped over to Facebook to see what was new with my circle of friends and came across one of those little posts that get created by Facebook out of your old posts in an attempt to remind you of some memory. This one was a picture of me and C in Jamaica where we're standing near a fresh water river just before heading in for a relaxing and cool dip while on a jeep tour of the island. The best parts are remembering how awesome that cold water felt on a very hot day and the smiles we shared all day long.
Now instance 3 took me a second to recognize when it happened but I think was the best of the bunch, at least in this humble writers opinion.
I was in the checkout line at Loblaws waiting my turn after grabbing a few things to make tacos for dinner with my son. There was a couple in front of me and I could tell where he worked by both his appearance and demeanor. I wasn't really paying too much attention to them until I overheard her telling him she had to go and buy a new dress for the party. Now hearing this peaked my attention as I knew just what party she was talking about as I'd had the good fortune to attend it back in 2015.
As she said that I could sense her husband sort of guffawing like it wasn't something all that critical but she soon put him in his place with a rather tart reply "Listen, this may be your party but it's mine just as much as it is yours, I'm the one home with the kids while you are out doing only God knows what, it's not just you waking up at 3am from a nightmare wondering if you are ok, this is my chance to see the others spouses dealing with all the same issues, our opportunity to forget for just a brief moment that you can be here one day and gone the next, literally and figuratively, so if I want to buy a Goddamn dress than I'm going to buy a Goddamn dress and don't want to hear a single thing from you about it, do you understand me MISTER!"
I must have laughed at the last part as both turned to look at me, him with a bit of embarrassment and her with a bit of what could only be called an impish smile.
I put my hands up and said "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I couldn't really help overhearing given how much emphasis your wife put into her response to you"
This made her laugh and him just shake his head as if he knew when he was beaten. I smiled and said to him that I'd been to the party she was referring to her and she was right, it was as much her celebration as yours. He looked at me as if trying to determine how I was at one since it is by strict invitation only and I don't look like I'd be the kind of person getting an invite. I smiled and said I'd been the plus one of someone back in 2015 and it had really opened my eyes to a lot of things.
His wife smiled and said "Amen" under her breath before asking me who I went with. I hesitated in my response as I still try my best to respect C's privacy and saying her name would have been breaking that vow. I said I'd been seeing someone who worked out of the primary downtown office and left it at that. His wife picked up on the past tense of my answer and just smiled at me knowing there was more to my answer than I was letting on.
As they paid for their items he turned to me and smiled, said sorry for the scowl, and wished me a good day. I smiled back and wished them a great time at the party.
I'll say this......it was one hell of a party the year I got to go and one I'll never forget.
I'm not sure why these three things happened or what they mean to me at the moment. In the long run maybe they'll make sense to me but for now I think I'll just let them bring a smile to my face as I remember those times and what one woman was able to bring into my life when I was willing to let the walls down.
My name is Marcus and I was once loved for who I was and maybe, just maybe, one day I'll be loved that way again.
I think today's musical suggestion should be a new indie artist I've come across named Hannah Georges and her song "Walls"
as well
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Happy Easter
Sunday, April 16/17
I'd like to wish everyone a very Happy Easter and hope you were able to spend it with family and friends.
It's also my son's 18th birthday and I've already posted my birthday wishes to his Facebook and talked to him this morning.
Hard to believe that eighteen years ago the 2nd of the two greatest gifts I've ever received came into my life at a very early 2:11 AM.
He's turned into an amazing young man and I can't wait to be witness to the next eighteen years of his life as he starts university in the fall and all the adventures that is going to bring us.
No major posts for today as it is more about reflecting on things from my perspective but I do promise one for tomorrow :)
Marcus
I'd like to wish everyone a very Happy Easter and hope you were able to spend it with family and friends.
It's also my son's 18th birthday and I've already posted my birthday wishes to his Facebook and talked to him this morning.
Hard to believe that eighteen years ago the 2nd of the two greatest gifts I've ever received came into my life at a very early 2:11 AM.
He's turned into an amazing young man and I can't wait to be witness to the next eighteen years of his life as he starts university in the fall and all the adventures that is going to bring us.
No major posts for today as it is more about reflecting on things from my perspective but I do promise one for tomorrow :)
Marcus
Friday, April 14, 2017
Good Friday Everyone
Friday, April 14/17
Wishing everyone a Good Friday!
No matter your religion or belief, I hope today finds you at peace with yourself and those around you.
The last two weeks have been so busy with 14 hour work days as we tried to cover off for the vacant accounts position while still doing my own position that it's literally been wake up, go to work, come home grab a bite to eat, see my son for a bit, go to bed, and rinse and repeat. My son has been a real source of support and letting me just focus on getting things done at work.
We managed to meet our 3rd quarter reporting requirements and now I'm going to use my four day weekend to catch up on some things at home, things like laundry, cleaning, and raking up the front and back yards. I know that sounds like just more work albeit of a different type, but those activities actually are relaxing to me.
Oh, I've also been getting email pings about local courses opening up this weekend so there is a good chance that I'll try to see if I can get my first round of the year in this weekend as well.
Yesterday my boss mentioned that Casselview out in the east end is scheduled to open and I laughed and said as much as I love golf the east end isn't where I'd be playing. The truth is that Casselview looks like a nice course and is only about 45-50 minutes from my house and yet I'd rather drive to Pembroke and play one of the three valley courses in that area even though that drive takes me over 90 minutes and involves some 2 lane highway. Guess that just confirms how west end centric I am in my life and view point :)
Anyways, I'm off to see about waking my son so he can open his birthday gifts before we head out to lunch and he starts his week with his mom. His birthday you ask? Yes, my youngest is now 18 and a man in his own right, couldn't be prouder of the man he is becoming and can't wait to watch the next eighteen years unfold for him.
Have a great day and I hope to get some more posts uploaded now that time is my friend again.
Marcus
Wishing everyone a Good Friday!
No matter your religion or belief, I hope today finds you at peace with yourself and those around you.
The last two weeks have been so busy with 14 hour work days as we tried to cover off for the vacant accounts position while still doing my own position that it's literally been wake up, go to work, come home grab a bite to eat, see my son for a bit, go to bed, and rinse and repeat. My son has been a real source of support and letting me just focus on getting things done at work.
We managed to meet our 3rd quarter reporting requirements and now I'm going to use my four day weekend to catch up on some things at home, things like laundry, cleaning, and raking up the front and back yards. I know that sounds like just more work albeit of a different type, but those activities actually are relaxing to me.
Oh, I've also been getting email pings about local courses opening up this weekend so there is a good chance that I'll try to see if I can get my first round of the year in this weekend as well.
Yesterday my boss mentioned that Casselview out in the east end is scheduled to open and I laughed and said as much as I love golf the east end isn't where I'd be playing. The truth is that Casselview looks like a nice course and is only about 45-50 minutes from my house and yet I'd rather drive to Pembroke and play one of the three valley courses in that area even though that drive takes me over 90 minutes and involves some 2 lane highway. Guess that just confirms how west end centric I am in my life and view point :)
Anyways, I'm off to see about waking my son so he can open his birthday gifts before we head out to lunch and he starts his week with his mom. His birthday you ask? Yes, my youngest is now 18 and a man in his own right, couldn't be prouder of the man he is becoming and can't wait to watch the next eighteen years unfold for him.
Have a great day and I hope to get some more posts uploaded now that time is my friend again.
Marcus
Sunday, April 2, 2017
One second is all it takes to make a difference
Sunday, April 02/17
I had a series of entries all lined up to post this weekend, some kind of light hearted poking fun at myself, one about the Rule of Three and how it made another appearance in my life this past week, and a couple just meant to make you pause and think about things.
I had them and yet I've decided to not post them because of an email I received from Wanda on Friday.
I read her email and it made me cry.
I've pasted it below for a reference.
I had a series of entries all lined up to post this weekend, some kind of light hearted poking fun at myself, one about the Rule of Three and how it made another appearance in my life this past week, and a couple just meant to make you pause and think about things.
I had them and yet I've decided to not post them because of an email I received from Wanda on Friday.
I read her email and it made me cry.
I've pasted it below for a reference.
"Hi again Marcus,
Just wanted to say that I loved your blog about words. It came right after I received a call from my daughter telling me that her roommate had committed suicide. And ever since then I've been thinking about what words poor Nelson heard, or didn't hear, from people who loved him. It was truly a powerful piece!
Wanda"
I cried for someone I never knew. I cried for his family and the loss they are enduring, the questions they must be facing, the possible guilt they are feeling over not being able to see the pain he was in.
I cried for Nelson's friends for all the same reasons I cried for his family.
But mostly I cried as I know this happens far more than we hear about and don't know what to do to help people like Nelson, people in need, people who feel like the only option available to them is to take they're life to end the pain.
For this very reason I talk to my kids as often as possible about everything going on in their lives. Sometimes I scratch my head, always internally, when my son rambles on about soccer or some new game he's discovered but the one thing he takes away from that moment is that I was there for him and took the time to be in the moment with him. I didn't have my cell phone in my hand, the TV wasn't the focus of my attention, he was.
I'm constantly asking them what is going on with them, what are they up to, if anyone is causing them problems, how their friends are doing, and such things. Sometimes I think I frustrate my son with all the times I've told him I'm always here for him but than I'm reminded how important it is he knows he has people to talk to about things when he thanks me a few days later for always being there for him and just supporting him.
When I was growing up in San Diego my circle of friends changed quite dramatically when I moved from grade school to middle school. I became part of the "it" crowd if you will, not because I suddenly became more athletic or a drop dead hunk. No, I'd always played sports but in that average kind of way where you play because you like the sport and not because you have visions of playing professionally some day, nor did I suddenly become some Greek god in the looks department.
No, my world changed because a new kid named Mike moved in two houses down from me and decided we were going to be best friends.
Mike was that uber athlete and had the kind of looks that made almost every girl our age want to drop her pants for him. I kid you not about either of those statements.
Because of my friendship with Mike I also became friends with Kelly, Mary Anne, Lori, Leslie, Michelle, Stephanie, Marty, and Scott.
Not one of those girls was anything other than drop dead gorgeous and none of the guys was anything other than a super athlete. Than there was me, none of those, considered a nerd by most because I always had a book in my hand and the answer to most questions. I really was the ugly duckling of that group and heard the whispers on the bus about how I was the token normal person each group seems to have in its midst.
I didn't care as I was around Kelly and she was so cute and even better, equally smart and able to challenge me on all fronts.
The odd thing about Kelly was she didn't have a mother. Her dad was some senior marketing guy with Phillips Tobacco and never home as he was always at some event or another. It was left to Kelly to help raise her little sister as if she was the mom of the family.
I asked her best friend Mary Anne about it and she got this incredibly sad look on her face when she told me that Kelly's mom had killed herself about two years earlier. She saw her daughters off to school one morning and than walked into her garage, made sure all the doors were closed, got into her car and started it up and went to sleep forever.
Mary Anne told me that it hit Kelly really hard as she'd been close to her mom and took her about a year to even come back to school. She said there wasn't a note and nobody knew why her mom took her life. She said to never mention it to Kelly unless she brought it up first.
I watched Kelly grow into a gorgeous, self confident, brilliant young woman over the next 6 years and never once talked to her about her mother or the pain she felt every day. Pain that I would see from time to time in her eyes when she thought nobody was looking.
Years later when I was in university I ran into Mike and asked how things were with him as we'd drifted apart when his family bought a house in La Mesa and he transferred to Helix High. We talked for a bit and he asked me if I remembered Kelly and said he'd dated her for a while freshmen year at university but he had to break it off as she was bat shit crazy, I asked what he meant and he said something about her being a bit too clingy and always worrying he wasn't coming back whenever he left her.
To this day I wonder if I was as good a friend to her as I could have been by following Mary Anne's advice and never talking to her about her mom. In hindsight I think back to some of those times I was the last one over at her house after we'd all watched a movie or played spin the bottle and remember her hesitation when I was getting ready to leave, maybe that would have been the moment to let her know I was there for her, to just listen and maybe offer a shoulder to cry on.
It is that experience that makes me feel so bad for Nelson and all those like him.
There is support for you when you feel like all is lost.
If you sense something is amiss with someone close to you it probably means it is....don't ignore it or pass it off as some silly feeling on your part, please act upon it as it might mean all the difference to someone.
It literally only takes a second to let someone know you care and want to help.................
My name is Marcus and I missed my opportunity help my friend deal with her issues and hope I never make that same mistake again.
Sunday, March 26, 2017
Home from Europe & the Question
Sunday, March 26/17
So my son came home last Saturday from his week in Europe and I can't begin to say how happy I was to see him after almost 2 weeks.
I know many of you will say to yourself that two weeks isn't that long to be apart and you are right, but I can't help feeling a tad bit lost when I don't see my kids at least once a week. I honestly don't know how C dealt with not seeing her boys as much as she used to when they lived with her and am pretty sure it caused her some inner pain that she never shared with me, not because she thought I wouldn't care or try and help her deal with it but because she was and is a private person.
I only had him for Saturday night as last week was technically his week to be with his mom so I made the most of it by talking to him about his trip as we drove home and over dinner as well.
He had a great time, learned quite a bit about the various cities and regions they visited, and enjoyed sampling new foods, as well as getting to visit Venice and having real Italian pizza once again, his words not mine.
The one somber moment came when he talked about the visit to Dachau.
I won't go into any details other than to say I think that visit made him a better person.
He's always been an empathetic young man but I think this opened his eyes to the world outside of Canada and the evil that man can do when left alone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying evil can't or doesn't exist in Canada but I don't think it exists to the same extent we've seen in other places.
I'm sure aboriginal Canadians will disagree with me but that isn't the topic of this entry today.
His one question to me was "How could this happen dad?"
That has to be one of the toughest questions any parent can ever be asked by their child.
How can such evil exist and do the horrible things it did on such a grand scale.
I told him I would need some time to think about this one as it wasn't a question I felt could be answered off the cuff.
I've thought about it a lot this week knowing it would come up again this weekend when he transitioned back to my place on Friday.
Here is the answer I gave him yesterday as we were sitting at East Side Mario's having lunch.
We are all born without the ability to know right from wrong. One person's right is another person's wrong depending on the view point.
What makes us who we are is the environment from which we develop. Your mother and I have done our best to show you and your sister how to view and treat people. You are for the most part a product of your upbringing and it shows in how much you care for other people.
Even though we are all born without the ability to know right from wrong we are all born with two seeds inside us: goodness and evil.
For the majority of people, that goodness comes to the forefront and lets us become members of our society, but there is a small minority that embrace the evil and all that it offers them. they love the disarray that comes with hurting other people. They appeal to that seed in everyone around them to promote a philosophy knowing that it will only take a few to let that theme catch on.
We are good at hiding and controlling that evil so that it doesn't take over our lives. some better than others but for the most part we manage to control it.
Some people deal with this evil seed by letting it out via a bad temper. My step father was like that and up till I was eighteen I kept my distance and hoped I wouldn't become that which I feared.
Here was a man that would lose his temper at the drop of a hat and respond with violence. Never against me or my mother, well not usually, but rather at things around him. It was not uncommon for him to find something not working out like he wanted and respond by throwing a tool across the room, regardless of who might be around, or smash his fist into a wall. I grew up learning that the appropriate response to something going wrong was to throw things around and swear like there was no tomorrow.
I learned how to behave that way but rejected letting it become my own modus operandi thanks to a inner strength I never knew existed and the influence of my maternal grandfather, a man who showed me how to properly act and behave, a man I miss so much each day, and a man I've tried to emulate as much as possible in how I deal with setbacks in my life.
Man as a species is capable of committing the most horrible acts upon one another. Acts we've come to know by such names as the Rape of Nanjing, Holocaust, Armenian Genocide, Massacre of Rwanda, and the Reign of Pol Pot in Cambodia.
There are others but those stand out from recent history.
There are more than enough acts of goodness to offset those tragedies but they don't make for good news and are never reported.
We are capable of horrific behavior and yet are lucky enough to also be capable of wonderful acts of charity to one another that on the whole move us forward as a society.
When people get scared they react without thinking about the world around them.
Dachau and such camps came about because people were afraid of the world around them and willing to overlook such things as the price to pay for the establishment of order and prosperity in difficult times, times where competing political philosophies battled for supremacy and went against everything they were taught to view as right.
Edmund Burke said it best......."All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing"
More often than not evil triumphs because good is afraid to stand up and be heard, almost as if being good is a bad thing.
Sometimes doing the right thing requires us to be a bit uncomfortable, to stand out, to be seen or heard when all we'd rather do is keep a low profile.
Sometimes I think we've moved past the stage of letting something like Dachau ever happen again only to read about the Rwandan Genocide or the tragedy that became the former Yugoslavia.
Hopefully we can continue to evolve and do the right thing, but until such time as we can do that I guess the burden lies within each of us to continue to fight that good fight and make sure evil can never triumph.........................
Marcus
So my son came home last Saturday from his week in Europe and I can't begin to say how happy I was to see him after almost 2 weeks.
I know many of you will say to yourself that two weeks isn't that long to be apart and you are right, but I can't help feeling a tad bit lost when I don't see my kids at least once a week. I honestly don't know how C dealt with not seeing her boys as much as she used to when they lived with her and am pretty sure it caused her some inner pain that she never shared with me, not because she thought I wouldn't care or try and help her deal with it but because she was and is a private person.
I only had him for Saturday night as last week was technically his week to be with his mom so I made the most of it by talking to him about his trip as we drove home and over dinner as well.
He had a great time, learned quite a bit about the various cities and regions they visited, and enjoyed sampling new foods, as well as getting to visit Venice and having real Italian pizza once again, his words not mine.
The one somber moment came when he talked about the visit to Dachau.
I won't go into any details other than to say I think that visit made him a better person.
He's always been an empathetic young man but I think this opened his eyes to the world outside of Canada and the evil that man can do when left alone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying evil can't or doesn't exist in Canada but I don't think it exists to the same extent we've seen in other places.
I'm sure aboriginal Canadians will disagree with me but that isn't the topic of this entry today.
His one question to me was "How could this happen dad?"
That has to be one of the toughest questions any parent can ever be asked by their child.
How can such evil exist and do the horrible things it did on such a grand scale.
I told him I would need some time to think about this one as it wasn't a question I felt could be answered off the cuff.
I've thought about it a lot this week knowing it would come up again this weekend when he transitioned back to my place on Friday.
Here is the answer I gave him yesterday as we were sitting at East Side Mario's having lunch.
We are all born without the ability to know right from wrong. One person's right is another person's wrong depending on the view point.
What makes us who we are is the environment from which we develop. Your mother and I have done our best to show you and your sister how to view and treat people. You are for the most part a product of your upbringing and it shows in how much you care for other people.
Even though we are all born without the ability to know right from wrong we are all born with two seeds inside us: goodness and evil.
For the majority of people, that goodness comes to the forefront and lets us become members of our society, but there is a small minority that embrace the evil and all that it offers them. they love the disarray that comes with hurting other people. They appeal to that seed in everyone around them to promote a philosophy knowing that it will only take a few to let that theme catch on.
We are good at hiding and controlling that evil so that it doesn't take over our lives. some better than others but for the most part we manage to control it.
Some people deal with this evil seed by letting it out via a bad temper. My step father was like that and up till I was eighteen I kept my distance and hoped I wouldn't become that which I feared.
Here was a man that would lose his temper at the drop of a hat and respond with violence. Never against me or my mother, well not usually, but rather at things around him. It was not uncommon for him to find something not working out like he wanted and respond by throwing a tool across the room, regardless of who might be around, or smash his fist into a wall. I grew up learning that the appropriate response to something going wrong was to throw things around and swear like there was no tomorrow.
I learned how to behave that way but rejected letting it become my own modus operandi thanks to a inner strength I never knew existed and the influence of my maternal grandfather, a man who showed me how to properly act and behave, a man I miss so much each day, and a man I've tried to emulate as much as possible in how I deal with setbacks in my life.
Man as a species is capable of committing the most horrible acts upon one another. Acts we've come to know by such names as the Rape of Nanjing, Holocaust, Armenian Genocide, Massacre of Rwanda, and the Reign of Pol Pot in Cambodia.
There are others but those stand out from recent history.
There are more than enough acts of goodness to offset those tragedies but they don't make for good news and are never reported.
We are capable of horrific behavior and yet are lucky enough to also be capable of wonderful acts of charity to one another that on the whole move us forward as a society.
When people get scared they react without thinking about the world around them.
Dachau and such camps came about because people were afraid of the world around them and willing to overlook such things as the price to pay for the establishment of order and prosperity in difficult times, times where competing political philosophies battled for supremacy and went against everything they were taught to view as right.
Edmund Burke said it best......."All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing"
More often than not evil triumphs because good is afraid to stand up and be heard, almost as if being good is a bad thing.
Sometimes doing the right thing requires us to be a bit uncomfortable, to stand out, to be seen or heard when all we'd rather do is keep a low profile.
Sometimes I think we've moved past the stage of letting something like Dachau ever happen again only to read about the Rwandan Genocide or the tragedy that became the former Yugoslavia.
Hopefully we can continue to evolve and do the right thing, but until such time as we can do that I guess the burden lies within each of us to continue to fight that good fight and make sure evil can never triumph.........................
Marcus
Friday, March 17, 2017
Was Wednesday Mother Natures Last Throw of the Die?
Friday, March 17/17
Happy St, Patrick's Day to all of you.
Have you been getting your Irish on today?
So we had a bit of a snowfall on Tuesday night crossing over into Wednesday morning.
How much of a bit you ask?
Well when I got up around 10am I figured Moki needed to go outside and went to let her out only to find my side door was completely snowed shut. You heard me right, I couldn't open the side door as there was about 3 feet of snow on the side deck pinning the door closed.
I had to go out the front door, the one I never use, and literally climb up the snow bank to reach the shovels just inside the gate to the deck and backyard.
Normally this wouldn't be too much of an issue but I'd called in sick that day as I'd been up all night with a severe headache and upset stomach that kept me from getting any rest. So you can imagine just how great shovelling snow for almost 2 hours made me feel on top of everything else........
I think I've mentioned before how Moki has this tendency to run down the deck and leap into the air like a gazelle when she first gets outside in the morning so I thought I'd give you a little visual sample so you could actually see her in flight.
That is Moki the Wonder Puppy testing the law of gravity as she launches herself off the deck does a fair imitation of a belly flop into the snow.
See all that snow the left? Well none of it was there when I left for work on Tuesday morning!!!
So now that I've teased you with a picture bet you are wondering when I'll post one of myself, well don't hold your collective breath on that one folks as I do value my privacy but even more important, I value my children's even more and am quite protective of keeping them out of the limelight, such as it might be.
On that note, my son comes home from his 8+ days in Europe and I can't wait to see him, hear all about his trip, and get his thoughts on the sights he took in while in Germany and Austria.
I'll let you know what he has to say tomorrow or Sunday.
Marcus
Happy St, Patrick's Day to all of you.
Have you been getting your Irish on today?
So we had a bit of a snowfall on Tuesday night crossing over into Wednesday morning.
How much of a bit you ask?
Well when I got up around 10am I figured Moki needed to go outside and went to let her out only to find my side door was completely snowed shut. You heard me right, I couldn't open the side door as there was about 3 feet of snow on the side deck pinning the door closed.
I had to go out the front door, the one I never use, and literally climb up the snow bank to reach the shovels just inside the gate to the deck and backyard.
Normally this wouldn't be too much of an issue but I'd called in sick that day as I'd been up all night with a severe headache and upset stomach that kept me from getting any rest. So you can imagine just how great shovelling snow for almost 2 hours made me feel on top of everything else........
I think I've mentioned before how Moki has this tendency to run down the deck and leap into the air like a gazelle when she first gets outside in the morning so I thought I'd give you a little visual sample so you could actually see her in flight.
That is Moki the Wonder Puppy testing the law of gravity as she launches herself off the deck does a fair imitation of a belly flop into the snow.
See all that snow the left? Well none of it was there when I left for work on Tuesday morning!!!
So now that I've teased you with a picture bet you are wondering when I'll post one of myself, well don't hold your collective breath on that one folks as I do value my privacy but even more important, I value my children's even more and am quite protective of keeping them out of the limelight, such as it might be.
On that note, my son comes home from his 8+ days in Europe and I can't wait to see him, hear all about his trip, and get his thoughts on the sights he took in while in Germany and Austria.
I'll let you know what he has to say tomorrow or Sunday.
Marcus
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