Saturday, June 15/19
So it's been more than a little while since I last posted and I've received a few messages asking me what the fuck is going on with me and if I'm alright (FYI that F bomb was verbatim from one of the messages so I don't think it is wrong to use it in this entry).
The honest truth is that I don't have a clue what's going on other than to admit I'm struggling big time with things and am really trying to get my shit together, with what appears to be and feels like little to no success so far.
I should be happy with the majority of my life right now as my health is good, other than some tendinitis in my right rotator cuff that is playing hell with my golf swing, work is going so well that I've not had one day where I wasn't involved with something new, my kids are doing really well, as is that little man Jack who owns me heart and soul.
But having said all of that I'm not myself and don't know how to snap out of it to get myself back to where I was happy with my life.
I took an internal vow when I started to write this blog that I wouldn't ever let my own moods become part of any entry and I've noticed my moodiness slipping into them more and more and think that is one reason I've stopped posting entries.
I've always thought of myself as an optimist in life, well really more so over the last 10-15 years, and felt that was also my approach to romance, that in time things would click for me and I'd be in that happy space with someone special in my life, but I've started to seriously doubt that is going to happen and it's been just emotionally draining the past year or so and really impacting me thesse past couple of months more than it has ever been in my life.
Waking up alone didn't used to bother me and know I absolutely hate the weekends as there is so much damn dead time on my hands, one can only read so much, watch movies on Netflix, or dare I say golf so many times before time just seems to slow down to a crawl.
I've tried to date but that has been a complete disaster and leaves me wondering how many nasty people are out there just waiting to prey upon those actually hoping to make a connection, based on some of my own recent experiences I'm voting on far too fucking many for my liking.
So I've been isolating myself from any expression of my emotions and just focusing on little things like spending time with Moki, a couple of projects around the house, and my golf game until the recent onset of the aforementioned shoulder injury.
I don't know when I'll honestly be back to posting regular blog entries in a timely manner, if they'll even be focused on dating or relationships anymore, but I'll try to post now and again so people can stop asking if the blog is over, it's not, at least not yet.
I've said it before that love can hurt as much as it can feel good, but I never envisioned the lack of love in my life feeling so horrible as it as these past few years...........
My name is Marcus and I blog about all kinds of things, used to be mostly about the search for love, relationships, and finding my true one, but let's be honest and admit my odds of success are pretty damn low these days.
Questions and comments are always welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
My musical suggestion for the day is "Into Your Hideout" by Pilate
Saturday, June 15, 2019
Monday, May 13, 2019
Monday Finds Me Torn Between Two Emotions
Monday, May 13/19
I find myself torn between two diametrically opposite emotions thanks to my son.
You see he left on holiday this morning for a week in Punta Cana down in the Dominican Republic.
There's a group of 5 of them who have gone down and I know all of them in one way or another, one from his years playing hockey, two from having played on a soccer team with him that I coached, and one from his high school. All of them are good lads in their own ways.
So what are my opposed emotions?
Excitement and bone wrenching terror.
I'm excited for him taking his first independent holiday, one he researched on his own and booked through a travel agent known to the family, one he organized with his buddies, and one he's earned after a tough school year that included a breakup that left him more than a bit down in the dumps.
I'm terrified that neither his mother or I will be close enough to help if anything bad happens. I know that is kind of an irrational thought but tell me when any parent hasn't engaged in such thought where their children are concerned and I'll show you a liar.
Help me out here readers, share with me your own stories about when someone close to you ventured out for the first time and how you handled it, I can really use some reassurances this week as I'm sure it's going to be one long damn week for me to endure.
His mom drove him and one of the other lads to Montreal last night as that is where they are flying out from and I'm picking them up next Monday around 5 pm eastern standard time. I'm going to try my best not to crush him to my chest in a hug when I see but not making any promises.
This is one of the milestone events we as parents have spent years preparing them for and yet I don't think we really consider what it means to us ourselves, we all want our children to be able to move forward through life without needing us and at the same time that same act means part of our own purpose has been fulfilled, leaving some of us to ponder what will fill that place in our lives.
I'm not implying our kids aren't part of us anymore but lets face it, once they taste that freedom they'll strive for it more and more, as they should with every fibre in their bodies, leaving us to face the whole empty nest syndrome. Something I'm actually kind of facing these days anyways given how little I do see my son between his school schedule, work, and social commitments.
Sometimes I feel like I need to schedule time with him so we can catch up with one another, does anyone else ever feel that way too?
It's going to be a long week but I'm sure I'll get through it and can't wait to hear some, likely not all, of the stories from his time down south on his own.
My name is Marcus and I might have shorter fingernails before the week is done ;-)
ooasm2018@gmail.com is the place to send any comments or questions.
I find myself torn between two diametrically opposite emotions thanks to my son.
You see he left on holiday this morning for a week in Punta Cana down in the Dominican Republic.
There's a group of 5 of them who have gone down and I know all of them in one way or another, one from his years playing hockey, two from having played on a soccer team with him that I coached, and one from his high school. All of them are good lads in their own ways.
So what are my opposed emotions?
Excitement and bone wrenching terror.
I'm excited for him taking his first independent holiday, one he researched on his own and booked through a travel agent known to the family, one he organized with his buddies, and one he's earned after a tough school year that included a breakup that left him more than a bit down in the dumps.
I'm terrified that neither his mother or I will be close enough to help if anything bad happens. I know that is kind of an irrational thought but tell me when any parent hasn't engaged in such thought where their children are concerned and I'll show you a liar.
Help me out here readers, share with me your own stories about when someone close to you ventured out for the first time and how you handled it, I can really use some reassurances this week as I'm sure it's going to be one long damn week for me to endure.
His mom drove him and one of the other lads to Montreal last night as that is where they are flying out from and I'm picking them up next Monday around 5 pm eastern standard time. I'm going to try my best not to crush him to my chest in a hug when I see but not making any promises.
This is one of the milestone events we as parents have spent years preparing them for and yet I don't think we really consider what it means to us ourselves, we all want our children to be able to move forward through life without needing us and at the same time that same act means part of our own purpose has been fulfilled, leaving some of us to ponder what will fill that place in our lives.
I'm not implying our kids aren't part of us anymore but lets face it, once they taste that freedom they'll strive for it more and more, as they should with every fibre in their bodies, leaving us to face the whole empty nest syndrome. Something I'm actually kind of facing these days anyways given how little I do see my son between his school schedule, work, and social commitments.
Sometimes I feel like I need to schedule time with him so we can catch up with one another, does anyone else ever feel that way too?
It's going to be a long week but I'm sure I'll get through it and can't wait to hear some, likely not all, of the stories from his time down south on his own.
My name is Marcus and I might have shorter fingernails before the week is done ;-)
ooasm2018@gmail.com is the place to send any comments or questions.
A Blog Entry That's Not So "G" Rated
Friday, May 10/19
I was driving to work this morning when I happened to drive past the West Ottawa Community Resources Center and noticed one of those portable signs businesses use to promote a sale or special event.
As a member of the west end community my family has partaken of the some of the services offered at the WOCRC in the form of some special speech development classes with my son when he was around 3-4 years old. We were fortunate to be paired up with a wonderful therapist who helped us get him past a little bump and onto normal speech development progression.
I always look at that building when I drive past with special warmth inside for all the good they do in the community, a lot of programs are advertised on the board outside along Castlefrank Road.
Nothing extraordinary about that and not what caught my eye and made my blood begin to boil this morning.
Now I don't take offence at this morning's sign posting but rather the very fact that it even needs to be said or set up as a special event.
So what has this blogger so upset? Here is this mornings sign.........
"May is Sexual Abuse Prevention Month"
Are you fucking kidding me?
Have we dropped so low as a society that we need to specifically set aside a month devoted to preventing sexual abuse?
Honestly, shouldn't every month be "Sexual Abuse Prevention Month"?
More like every week or better yet....how about every Goddamn Fucking Day be devoted to preventing sexual abuse!!!!!!!
I'm not upset with them for posting the sign as I get it, there are some real Darwin Award winners running around amongst us and these jewels of humanity most likely need the reminder.
No, I'm just upset that the lack common decency and basic knowledge make it so necessary to have to set aside a month to prevent something that is so fundamental to us as a people.
As a parent and now a grandparent I can honestly say I've been worried about abuse in all shapes and forms from the first day my daughter came into my life to the day my grandson came along.
I worried about my kids getting bullied, both physically and emotionally, and I hate to admit with all the recent stories coming out about sexual abuse in some of the schools that I've wondered if a conversation should be had with both of my kids, wondered until my own son commented about them and said there is no way he'd ever have let anyone do that to him and keep silent.
We live in a scary world, all 7+ billion of us, and that means that scary things can happen at the hands of some not very nice people, I get it and it makes my soul wrench in agony that bad things happen to good people, I wish there was something I could do to stop it but I am only one person standing on the beach trying to hold back the incoming tide so what can I really do.........
I can stand and make sure that I act in the best way possible towards my fellow humans, hopefully joining with others who feel the same and form a dike that helps to hold back the onslaught of despair and pain that might come from standing alone.
The Anglo-Irish statesman and philosopher Edmund Burke said it best when he said
Let us never forget this message, let us all strive to be good people, let us all stand up and do what we can to bring goodness to the world around us, and maybe, just maybe, our efforts won't go unnoticed and we will make the difference we so desperately want to see in our world.........
My name is Marcus and I vow that every single fucking day of my life is devoted to preventing abuse in any way, shape, or form. Not just for my own family but yours as well as we are only as strong as the effort we make.
Observations and comments are always welcome and you can reach me at the blogs email account ooasm2018@gmail.com
Nota bene: I suggest Googling the Darwin Awards if you don't understand the subtle insult referred in the blog. Unfortunately I have to admit to knowing one or two prime candidates for the award.
I was driving to work this morning when I happened to drive past the West Ottawa Community Resources Center and noticed one of those portable signs businesses use to promote a sale or special event.
As a member of the west end community my family has partaken of the some of the services offered at the WOCRC in the form of some special speech development classes with my son when he was around 3-4 years old. We were fortunate to be paired up with a wonderful therapist who helped us get him past a little bump and onto normal speech development progression.
I always look at that building when I drive past with special warmth inside for all the good they do in the community, a lot of programs are advertised on the board outside along Castlefrank Road.
Nothing extraordinary about that and not what caught my eye and made my blood begin to boil this morning.
Now I don't take offence at this morning's sign posting but rather the very fact that it even needs to be said or set up as a special event.
So what has this blogger so upset? Here is this mornings sign.........
"May is Sexual Abuse Prevention Month"
Are you fucking kidding me?
Have we dropped so low as a society that we need to specifically set aside a month devoted to preventing sexual abuse?
Honestly, shouldn't every month be "Sexual Abuse Prevention Month"?
More like every week or better yet....how about every Goddamn Fucking Day be devoted to preventing sexual abuse!!!!!!!
I'm not upset with them for posting the sign as I get it, there are some real Darwin Award winners running around amongst us and these jewels of humanity most likely need the reminder.
No, I'm just upset that the lack common decency and basic knowledge make it so necessary to have to set aside a month to prevent something that is so fundamental to us as a people.
As a parent and now a grandparent I can honestly say I've been worried about abuse in all shapes and forms from the first day my daughter came into my life to the day my grandson came along.
I worried about my kids getting bullied, both physically and emotionally, and I hate to admit with all the recent stories coming out about sexual abuse in some of the schools that I've wondered if a conversation should be had with both of my kids, wondered until my own son commented about them and said there is no way he'd ever have let anyone do that to him and keep silent.
We live in a scary world, all 7+ billion of us, and that means that scary things can happen at the hands of some not very nice people, I get it and it makes my soul wrench in agony that bad things happen to good people, I wish there was something I could do to stop it but I am only one person standing on the beach trying to hold back the incoming tide so what can I really do.........
I can stand and make sure that I act in the best way possible towards my fellow humans, hopefully joining with others who feel the same and form a dike that helps to hold back the onslaught of despair and pain that might come from standing alone.
The Anglo-Irish statesman and philosopher Edmund Burke said it best when he said
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Let us never forget this message, let us all strive to be good people, let us all stand up and do what we can to bring goodness to the world around us, and maybe, just maybe, our efforts won't go unnoticed and we will make the difference we so desperately want to see in our world.........
My name is Marcus and I vow that every single fucking day of my life is devoted to preventing abuse in any way, shape, or form. Not just for my own family but yours as well as we are only as strong as the effort we make.
Observations and comments are always welcome and you can reach me at the blogs email account ooasm2018@gmail.com
Nota bene: I suggest Googling the Darwin Awards if you don't understand the subtle insult referred in the blog. Unfortunately I have to admit to knowing one or two prime candidates for the award.
Sunday, May 12, 2019
Happy Mother's Day
Sunday, May 12/19
I would like to send my best wishes on this Mother's Day to all the mom's out there raising children.
Of course in this day and age I feel the need to modify those best wishes as follows....
I'm sending them to all the mom's in a traditional partnership with a husband/fiance/boyfriend, all the mom's in a modern partnership with a wife, all the mom's doing it on their own, all the dad's acting like mom due to a loss or other unforeseen circumstances, and all the two dad families raising kids in this modern world.
Being a parent isn't easy, it doesn't require a test of any kind, though given some of the parents I've met over the years I wonder why we don't require one, and it doesn't come with any instruction manuals, heaven knows those might have come in handy a few times.
We don't get paid to be a parent and more often than not are overlooked for that which we do in terms of helping our children grow up feeling wanted, loved, and protected.
Often the compensation we receive comes in the form of another person making a favourable comment on how our child acts with other or adults. I can't tell you how often I've received compliments on how well mannered my son is and I know both my own mother and grandfather are looking down at me with a smile, knowing I took the lessons they tried to instill in me to heart and have passed along to my own children.
But the best compensation I receive is seeing them smile and the hug my son will walk up and give me out of the blue without any bidding on my part, whether his friends are around or not.
So to all of you out there doing the whole parent thing.....keep up the good work and I hope all of you get a special hug today from those little things we've spent countless hours teaching and worrying about.
My name is Marcus and the greatest thing I've ever done is to be a parent to one amazing daughter and one awesome son.
Today's musical suggestion is "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle. Makes me think of my little girl every single time I hear it. Tho she isn't so little anymore, she'll always be this daddy's little girl.
Questions and comments, both good and bad, welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
I would like to send my best wishes on this Mother's Day to all the mom's out there raising children.
Of course in this day and age I feel the need to modify those best wishes as follows....
I'm sending them to all the mom's in a traditional partnership with a husband/fiance/boyfriend, all the mom's in a modern partnership with a wife, all the mom's doing it on their own, all the dad's acting like mom due to a loss or other unforeseen circumstances, and all the two dad families raising kids in this modern world.
Being a parent isn't easy, it doesn't require a test of any kind, though given some of the parents I've met over the years I wonder why we don't require one, and it doesn't come with any instruction manuals, heaven knows those might have come in handy a few times.
We don't get paid to be a parent and more often than not are overlooked for that which we do in terms of helping our children grow up feeling wanted, loved, and protected.
Often the compensation we receive comes in the form of another person making a favourable comment on how our child acts with other or adults. I can't tell you how often I've received compliments on how well mannered my son is and I know both my own mother and grandfather are looking down at me with a smile, knowing I took the lessons they tried to instill in me to heart and have passed along to my own children.
But the best compensation I receive is seeing them smile and the hug my son will walk up and give me out of the blue without any bidding on my part, whether his friends are around or not.
So to all of you out there doing the whole parent thing.....keep up the good work and I hope all of you get a special hug today from those little things we've spent countless hours teaching and worrying about.
My name is Marcus and the greatest thing I've ever done is to be a parent to one amazing daughter and one awesome son.
Today's musical suggestion is "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle. Makes me think of my little girl every single time I hear it. Tho she isn't so little anymore, she'll always be this daddy's little girl.
Questions and comments, both good and bad, welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Saturday, April 27, 2019
Choices
Saturday, April 27/19
This is one of those blog entries that seems to come alive on it's own out of my own current feelings, so it could end up being a long one or short as I'm totally free styling it as I sit here.......
We make choices from the moment we come into the world until the moment we take our last breathe and depart it.
These choices are made consciously and subconsciously.
Conscious choices are as simple as what to wear to work to what we want to have for dinner.
Subconscious choices are made without any notice on our part, sort of the reason we refer to them as subconscious in that they require little to no thought to accomplish, for most of us the simple act of putting on our seat belts has now become something we subconsciously do the moment we sit down in our car.
Choices begin the moment we take our first breathe out of the womb, though those are more subconscious than anything else, and evolve over time to far more complicated decisions that impact not only ourselves but those bot close to us and complete strangers as well.
Who we choose to be friends with when we begin school, who we find attractive enough to warrant making a move to get to know them better, which sports or after school activities to pursue, to which university to attend, if we even decide to follow that path, to the career we decide to follow are all choices we make, that impact us, our families, our friends, and those we might not even know.
My decision to turn down employment opportunities not once, not twice, but three times with Bankers Trust meant that three other individuals had opportunities develop that they might not have otherwise been offered, people who didn't know me nor I them, but impact them I did.
My decision to move to Ottawa opened up a position for someone at the company I was leaving and taking the one I did here meant someone else might have lost out, again impacting someone I haven't ever met.
The choice I made to move from Southern California probably ranks among the biggest I've ever made as it eventually led to some life altering changes in my life, becoming a father to an adorable little girl, the arrival of my son, and now the inclusion of my grandson, all choices that I made at one part that led to something else happening.
The choices we make have a ripple effect across time. Consider this, if I had not decided to move to Ottawa my son would not have been born in his current form, he might have been the byproduct of another partner and thus not who he is today, the lessons I learned from being his father might not have been the same ones I'd have learned from having a son with someone else, his own views on sports or school could have been totally different with another man as his father. My grandson might never have been born as maybe my daughter doesn't get the support from another man her mother might have ended up with, or maybe she would have done even better than she did with me in her life as things turned out, not saying I'm a bad father but the logic is there that she could have done better and she could have done worse, all things considered.
Some choices are made for us without even involving our direct participation. Being on the receiving end of a break up is one such event, losing a job due to the company downsizing is another, things that directly impact us over which we have little to no say.
Choices can bring joy or sadness, sometimes they can bring both with a separation of time between the two polar opposites. The end of my marriage caused me some sadness but also led me to become more independent and make the choice to focus on being a better parent, something that has truly brought me intense joy over the years. The choice to put myself out there in the dating pool was a byproduct of the end of that marriage and also gave me the opportunity to meet Corrine and understand how much I still had to offer someone and accept from them in return.
I've made good choices and bad choices, choices I've made impacted others, choices made by others have impacted me both directly and indirectly, that is the reality of choices.
Choices aren't made in a vacuum and have consequences, we hope these are for the better but sometimes what is good for us or someone we care about isn't so good for another person. Hell, even the choices we do follow might be bad for us but because we care for someone else we are willing to make them knowing it might benefit them to a far greater degree than it hurts us.
Choices....we all make them.....we are all a product of the choices we make as well as those made by others.....
My name is Marcus and I've made more than my fair share of choices and probably have a few more in me to make over the coming years. I'm doing my best to make sure I make good choices and one of the most important ones will hopefully centre around meeting my one......
Today's musical suggestion is "Lonesome" by Shaed.
I've got a couple of other blog entries in the hopper, it's been a crazy 2 weeks with year end at work and my son prepping to write his final exams being my main focus, now that he is done and my part of year end has passed I'm hoping to get some free time to get back to the blog, well here's hoping.
Questions and comments are welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
This is one of those blog entries that seems to come alive on it's own out of my own current feelings, so it could end up being a long one or short as I'm totally free styling it as I sit here.......
We make choices from the moment we come into the world until the moment we take our last breathe and depart it.
These choices are made consciously and subconsciously.
Conscious choices are as simple as what to wear to work to what we want to have for dinner.
Subconscious choices are made without any notice on our part, sort of the reason we refer to them as subconscious in that they require little to no thought to accomplish, for most of us the simple act of putting on our seat belts has now become something we subconsciously do the moment we sit down in our car.
Choices begin the moment we take our first breathe out of the womb, though those are more subconscious than anything else, and evolve over time to far more complicated decisions that impact not only ourselves but those bot close to us and complete strangers as well.
Who we choose to be friends with when we begin school, who we find attractive enough to warrant making a move to get to know them better, which sports or after school activities to pursue, to which university to attend, if we even decide to follow that path, to the career we decide to follow are all choices we make, that impact us, our families, our friends, and those we might not even know.
My decision to turn down employment opportunities not once, not twice, but three times with Bankers Trust meant that three other individuals had opportunities develop that they might not have otherwise been offered, people who didn't know me nor I them, but impact them I did.
My decision to move to Ottawa opened up a position for someone at the company I was leaving and taking the one I did here meant someone else might have lost out, again impacting someone I haven't ever met.
The choice I made to move from Southern California probably ranks among the biggest I've ever made as it eventually led to some life altering changes in my life, becoming a father to an adorable little girl, the arrival of my son, and now the inclusion of my grandson, all choices that I made at one part that led to something else happening.
The choices we make have a ripple effect across time. Consider this, if I had not decided to move to Ottawa my son would not have been born in his current form, he might have been the byproduct of another partner and thus not who he is today, the lessons I learned from being his father might not have been the same ones I'd have learned from having a son with someone else, his own views on sports or school could have been totally different with another man as his father. My grandson might never have been born as maybe my daughter doesn't get the support from another man her mother might have ended up with, or maybe she would have done even better than she did with me in her life as things turned out, not saying I'm a bad father but the logic is there that she could have done better and she could have done worse, all things considered.
Some choices are made for us without even involving our direct participation. Being on the receiving end of a break up is one such event, losing a job due to the company downsizing is another, things that directly impact us over which we have little to no say.
Choices can bring joy or sadness, sometimes they can bring both with a separation of time between the two polar opposites. The end of my marriage caused me some sadness but also led me to become more independent and make the choice to focus on being a better parent, something that has truly brought me intense joy over the years. The choice to put myself out there in the dating pool was a byproduct of the end of that marriage and also gave me the opportunity to meet Corrine and understand how much I still had to offer someone and accept from them in return.
I've made good choices and bad choices, choices I've made impacted others, choices made by others have impacted me both directly and indirectly, that is the reality of choices.
Choices aren't made in a vacuum and have consequences, we hope these are for the better but sometimes what is good for us or someone we care about isn't so good for another person. Hell, even the choices we do follow might be bad for us but because we care for someone else we are willing to make them knowing it might benefit them to a far greater degree than it hurts us.
Choices....we all make them.....we are all a product of the choices we make as well as those made by others.....
My name is Marcus and I've made more than my fair share of choices and probably have a few more in me to make over the coming years. I'm doing my best to make sure I make good choices and one of the most important ones will hopefully centre around meeting my one......
Today's musical suggestion is "Lonesome" by Shaed.
I've got a couple of other blog entries in the hopper, it's been a crazy 2 weeks with year end at work and my son prepping to write his final exams being my main focus, now that he is done and my part of year end has passed I'm hoping to get some free time to get back to the blog, well here's hoping.
Questions and comments are welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Saturday, April 20, 2019
Happy Easter
Saturday, April 20/19
It's been a rather busy Saturday as I was out running errands and just cleaned up from dinner with the son.
He's back to studying for a bit as he's writing two final exams on Tuesday so I thought I'd post a quick entry extending my best wishes to everyone for a Happy Easter.
Easter is one of the two biggest religious holiday's in the Catholic church, my church of choice all negative aspects aside, so I'm usually a little more introspective on this weekend. Usually being the operative word in that last sentence as today I'm just trying to relax and let my thoughts soar free of any shackles.
Now I'm sure some of you reading this don't follow my own beliefs or possibly any at all, maybe you are an atheist or even an agnostic, don't care and not going to make any judgments on you.
We are all individuals and our own pursuit of some connection is just that, our own and private to each of us. I'm mentioned before that while I consider myself Roman Catholic that there are some tenants of the church that I refuse to follow, that's my choice and one I'll possibly have to address to a higher power should I ever be called before them.........
My only consideration when dealing with someone is are they true to themselves and do they try and do good for those they love and the community in which they reside.
Pretty basic and simple points and I don't see any need to complicate them further with restrictions as life is already complex enough given the changing scope of government and societal pressures to conform or face the consequences.
So for today let me just say this.........I love you and hope wherever you find yourself on your life journey that you can look around and have someone you can embrace when you need a hug or offer a shoulder to lean on when they need one.
Happy Easter :-)
My name is Marcus and I'm trying to be a better person than I was the day before.
Comments or questions are always welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
It's been a rather busy Saturday as I was out running errands and just cleaned up from dinner with the son.
He's back to studying for a bit as he's writing two final exams on Tuesday so I thought I'd post a quick entry extending my best wishes to everyone for a Happy Easter.
Easter is one of the two biggest religious holiday's in the Catholic church, my church of choice all negative aspects aside, so I'm usually a little more introspective on this weekend. Usually being the operative word in that last sentence as today I'm just trying to relax and let my thoughts soar free of any shackles.
Now I'm sure some of you reading this don't follow my own beliefs or possibly any at all, maybe you are an atheist or even an agnostic, don't care and not going to make any judgments on you.
We are all individuals and our own pursuit of some connection is just that, our own and private to each of us. I'm mentioned before that while I consider myself Roman Catholic that there are some tenants of the church that I refuse to follow, that's my choice and one I'll possibly have to address to a higher power should I ever be called before them.........
My only consideration when dealing with someone is are they true to themselves and do they try and do good for those they love and the community in which they reside.
Pretty basic and simple points and I don't see any need to complicate them further with restrictions as life is already complex enough given the changing scope of government and societal pressures to conform or face the consequences.
So for today let me just say this.........I love you and hope wherever you find yourself on your life journey that you can look around and have someone you can embrace when you need a hug or offer a shoulder to lean on when they need one.
Happy Easter :-)
My name is Marcus and I'm trying to be a better person than I was the day before.
Comments or questions are always welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Friday, April 19, 2019
Sometimes those sayings we grew up hearing make more sense the older we get......
Friday, April 19/19
I've come to realize those ubiquitous sayings we all grew up hearing from the adults around us actually do make sense and aren't just a bunch of words thrown together in some attempt to impress us.
Case in point........Be careful what you wish for
I've had recent posts describing how much I hated my old job, the overall organization, and pretty much the team I was part of, all for a variety of reasons that are perfectly justified, least they are in my mind and really, that's all that counts when I'm the one writing this little blog
I was bored in my old job, not really pushed to learn new skills, and made to feel like I really didn't belong there due to my age and sex...........shitty all the way but nobody ever said life has to deal you the perfect hand of cards now did they
Fast forward to the present position and it is the exact opposite in every single way.
I'm part of an organization that is the leader in a still evolving industry, member of a team that actually values the effort each member makes, and involved in so many new things there are days my head is spinning and I get home and am so intellectually exhausted all I do is grab a quick bite to eat, snuggle with Moki the wonder puppy, and fall asleep before 9 pm.
I used to complain about not having enough to do and being so bored out of my mind.
Now there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done and even the advent of the hiring a second business analyst doesn't make me think it will actually ease my burden at all and you know what.......I'm pumped!!!!
I spend far too much time in meetings, meetings I wasn't sure I should even be sitting in at first, and now things have started to come together in my mind as to what my role is with the team and organization, I'm sort of starting to see how we are approaching some incredible market opportunities and how I'm going to help us achieve our goals.....kind of heady stuff if I say so myself.
I was looking over my work calendar last week when my son was with me and he commented on just how full my days were and I laughed at the comment telling him to wait a bit as I'm sure another couple of meeting requests would be popping up in the available free time.....and sure enough almost as I finished saying that a new request from the director of sales opened up requesting I attend a meeting concerning the set up of new Moneris terminals at some stores we are bringing online in May.
My son looked at me and asked what I had to do with stores since I work in finance and I had to outline how everything flows together from purchasing to logistics to retail to payroll, how my role is to support each member of those teams making sure they understand the correct steps in the process, and ensuring the various systems were correctly talking to each other and transferring information in a timely and accurate manner.
"But you are just an analyst dad" was his response.
"Being just an analyst covers a whole world of activities and is keeping me busier than I've ever been in my career"
He smiled at me and replied "It seems to suit you as you are way more alive about things than you've been for years"
He's right in so many ways.
My health is back, my mind is right, and now I've got a position that is making me reach beyond my current skill set to develop new ones and loving every minute of it, even when I know I have that deer in the headlight look on my face lol
Life couldn't get much better......well I guess having my "one" around might make it a bit better as than I could have someone to share the rewards of being so happy with when we were together.
My name is Marcus and I'm now wondering what other sayings are going to be more true than false.
Today's musical suggestion is "Private Life" by Oingo Boingo. Such an under appreciated band from the mid 70's and one of the better groups to get introduced to the new wave and ska music scene.
Interesting fun fact......Oingo Boingo's lead singer Danny Elfman is one of the leading film and television scorers over the past 20 years. Now you can never say the blog is just a source of entertainment as it's also educational as well :)
Got a question? Want to let me know what you are thinking or feeling? send me a message at ooasm2018@gmail.com and I promise to respond either in a return email or possibly with a blog post, you just never know where this guy is concerned ;-))
I've come to realize those ubiquitous sayings we all grew up hearing from the adults around us actually do make sense and aren't just a bunch of words thrown together in some attempt to impress us.
Case in point........Be careful what you wish for
I've had recent posts describing how much I hated my old job, the overall organization, and pretty much the team I was part of, all for a variety of reasons that are perfectly justified, least they are in my mind and really, that's all that counts when I'm the one writing this little blog
I was bored in my old job, not really pushed to learn new skills, and made to feel like I really didn't belong there due to my age and sex...........shitty all the way but nobody ever said life has to deal you the perfect hand of cards now did they
Fast forward to the present position and it is the exact opposite in every single way.
I'm part of an organization that is the leader in a still evolving industry, member of a team that actually values the effort each member makes, and involved in so many new things there are days my head is spinning and I get home and am so intellectually exhausted all I do is grab a quick bite to eat, snuggle with Moki the wonder puppy, and fall asleep before 9 pm.
I used to complain about not having enough to do and being so bored out of my mind.
Now there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done and even the advent of the hiring a second business analyst doesn't make me think it will actually ease my burden at all and you know what.......I'm pumped!!!!
I spend far too much time in meetings, meetings I wasn't sure I should even be sitting in at first, and now things have started to come together in my mind as to what my role is with the team and organization, I'm sort of starting to see how we are approaching some incredible market opportunities and how I'm going to help us achieve our goals.....kind of heady stuff if I say so myself.
I was looking over my work calendar last week when my son was with me and he commented on just how full my days were and I laughed at the comment telling him to wait a bit as I'm sure another couple of meeting requests would be popping up in the available free time.....and sure enough almost as I finished saying that a new request from the director of sales opened up requesting I attend a meeting concerning the set up of new Moneris terminals at some stores we are bringing online in May.
My son looked at me and asked what I had to do with stores since I work in finance and I had to outline how everything flows together from purchasing to logistics to retail to payroll, how my role is to support each member of those teams making sure they understand the correct steps in the process, and ensuring the various systems were correctly talking to each other and transferring information in a timely and accurate manner.
"But you are just an analyst dad" was his response.
"Being just an analyst covers a whole world of activities and is keeping me busier than I've ever been in my career"
He smiled at me and replied "It seems to suit you as you are way more alive about things than you've been for years"
He's right in so many ways.
My health is back, my mind is right, and now I've got a position that is making me reach beyond my current skill set to develop new ones and loving every minute of it, even when I know I have that deer in the headlight look on my face lol
Life couldn't get much better......well I guess having my "one" around might make it a bit better as than I could have someone to share the rewards of being so happy with when we were together.
My name is Marcus and I'm now wondering what other sayings are going to be more true than false.
Today's musical suggestion is "Private Life" by Oingo Boingo. Such an under appreciated band from the mid 70's and one of the better groups to get introduced to the new wave and ska music scene.
Interesting fun fact......Oingo Boingo's lead singer Danny Elfman is one of the leading film and television scorers over the past 20 years. Now you can never say the blog is just a source of entertainment as it's also educational as well :)
Got a question? Want to let me know what you are thinking or feeling? send me a message at ooasm2018@gmail.com and I promise to respond either in a return email or possibly with a blog post, you just never know where this guy is concerned ;-))
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
The text from my ex wife that made me a little sad
Wednesday, April 17/19
So as I was leaving work today I went to turn my phone off of silent mode and saw a missed text from my ex wife and wondered what that could be about as she has been down in Toronto on business all week.
I opened it up and the first thing I saw was "Not sure if you saw this" and there was a link to a story in what I think was LinkedIn.
The story was about a promotion and new position for Corinna.
To say I was gob smacked would be putting it mildly, to say getting it from the mother of my children was even more shocking.
I replied that I hadn't seen it and had actually stopped trying to see what was happening with her as if she wanted me to know she'd have reached out to me but I appreciated her thinking of me when she saw it.
She responded almost right away "It means she's coming home right?"
"Home is wherever she chooses and from the sounds of things down near Kingston, so not really near me"
I could almost sense her rolling her eyes and shaking her head as she typed out "For such a smart guy you really can be dumb sometimes. This just means she has more of a reason to maybe reach out to you now"
I love how much of an optimist the mother of my children is and it is something I've tried to emulate over the years but not even the romantic in me, who absolutely believes anything is possible where love is concerned, is holding out a chance in hell of getting a call from the one woman in my life who had me thinking I'd found my one and totally broke my heart four years ago.
From the sounds of the article she is getting everything she has dreamed of and I'm really happy for her, happy and yet kind of sad as there have been times over the years where I've wondered how things might have gone between us had we'd not walked away from one another.
My name is Marcus and I'm not feeling all that chipper tonight, actually feeling downright sad as I'm starting to wonder if love is ever going to bring me my one.....
No musical suggestion tonight as nothing seems good enough to me.
Questions and comments welcome as always.........ooasm2018@gmail.com
So as I was leaving work today I went to turn my phone off of silent mode and saw a missed text from my ex wife and wondered what that could be about as she has been down in Toronto on business all week.
I opened it up and the first thing I saw was "Not sure if you saw this" and there was a link to a story in what I think was LinkedIn.
The story was about a promotion and new position for Corinna.
To say I was gob smacked would be putting it mildly, to say getting it from the mother of my children was even more shocking.
I replied that I hadn't seen it and had actually stopped trying to see what was happening with her as if she wanted me to know she'd have reached out to me but I appreciated her thinking of me when she saw it.
She responded almost right away "It means she's coming home right?"
"Home is wherever she chooses and from the sounds of things down near Kingston, so not really near me"
I could almost sense her rolling her eyes and shaking her head as she typed out "For such a smart guy you really can be dumb sometimes. This just means she has more of a reason to maybe reach out to you now"
I love how much of an optimist the mother of my children is and it is something I've tried to emulate over the years but not even the romantic in me, who absolutely believes anything is possible where love is concerned, is holding out a chance in hell of getting a call from the one woman in my life who had me thinking I'd found my one and totally broke my heart four years ago.
From the sounds of the article she is getting everything she has dreamed of and I'm really happy for her, happy and yet kind of sad as there have been times over the years where I've wondered how things might have gone between us had we'd not walked away from one another.
My name is Marcus and I'm not feeling all that chipper tonight, actually feeling downright sad as I'm starting to wonder if love is ever going to bring me my one.....
No musical suggestion tonight as nothing seems good enough to me.
Questions and comments welcome as always.........ooasm2018@gmail.com
Sunday, April 14, 2019
An Awkward Case of Mistaken Identity
Sunday, April 14/19
So Mother Nature has gone back to her split personality this weekend, with the warm and wonderful Mother Nature showing up yesterday offset by today's cold bitchy personality in the form of rain intermixed with snow.....yes, still getting some snow, the only good thing being that it's melting as soon as it hits the ground.
My son is with his mom this week so I visited my daughter and grandson yesterday morning taking Moki along for the ride and some fresh air.
Once my visit was over I dropped Moki off at home, not without getting the look from the pupper telling me I was a disappointment to her yet again, and went to run some errands.
I know a lot of my blogs mention me running errands but the truth is that I find that aspect of my life to be calming and lets me get things done that I can mark off in the win column.
Yesterday's errands included gassing up the car, stopping by Pier 1 Imports to look for a set of book ends as I'm slowly trying to redo the interior of my place, going by Golf Town to price out the cost of new grips for my entire set of clubs (irons and woods), going to Bayshore to get a birthday card for my son and Easter cards for the kids, and grabbing a late lunch or early dinner at Baton Rouge.
I ended up pushing the Bayshore part of my errands to Sunday as I know I'm going to head into the office for a bit in order to write up some procedures that will require me to log into the system and I've found that while the VPN works well it isn't quite as fast as being on site.
So all the rest of my errands were done by 3 pm when I decided it was a perfect time to stop by Baton Rouge and feed my inner carnivore with some prime rib :)
When I'm dining alone I make it a habit to sit on the bar side as they are usually showing some golf on the TVs and the lighting is good and it allows me to read on my tablet while enjoying my meal.
Yesterday was no exception, the Masters was playing and the bar side was empty so I had my pick of booths to sit in and relax.
I had my usual order complimented with a Caesar salad just to prove that I can appreciate something green in my diet :)
I enjoyed my meal and was lost in the book I was reading when I sensed a group of people walking past my booth and only looked up in time to see the last person in the group. They were seated two booths past me and from the sounds of things were a group of four females out for dinner and a movie at the Landmark Theatre.
As I was getting ready to settle up my bill I could sense quite a bit of heated whispering going on with them and didn't really pay it much attention even though I sensed it wasn't a happy conversation taking place.
Suddenly out of the blue one woman exclaimed rather loudly "Are you sure it's him?"
Now at this part I should have really turned around as I was the only male in the bar and it might have saved me from what happened next, but I didn't want to be that person and appear to be rude by looking at them....if only I'd listened to my spidey senses lol
In the back of my mind I wondered if I'd chatted with one of them before on the dating site I'm on but having only gotten a look at one of them couldn't know for sure, a little part of me wondered if one of them was among the 6 blog followers who actually know who I am but again having one seen the last one left me unable to know for sure.
Luckily for me that wasn't to be the case for very long as just as I was pulling out my credit card to let the server know I was ready to pay my bill and get going I noticed movement to my left and looked up at a rather striking brunette, who from appearances looked like she'd just swallowed the proverbial bitter pill, looking down at me with undisguised anger all over her face.
That should have been my second clue that things weren't going to go well for me.....
Before I had a chance to say anything she glared at me while saying "You are a complete fucking pig and the reason women have trust issues, I hope you grow old alone and bitter about the one who got away, not that you deserve her attention and love"
Yes, I totally agree with you that that was a well worded insult but she wasn't quite done as she then proceeded to throw the contents of her drink in my face before turning and heading back to her friends.
I think she even caught them by surprise as one exclaimed "Holy crap Beth, I didn't think you'd do that"
"Sisters before misters" was her reply
Now at this point my server came rushing over looking mortified and handed me a towel to wipe my face off, asking is if I needed the manager. I've had her several times before and over the years we've enjoyed an easy banter so I could tell she was dead serious about getting the manager for me.
I told her everything was okay and to go ahead and run my card through for my bill but to please add and bring me another drink for the woman who had just lost hers on me. She sort of hesitated a moment and I reassured her this wasn't going to be a tit-for-tat thing on my part.
As I waited for her to return I closed out my tablet and put my jacket on, making sure to not glance towards the table with she who had a bigger pair than most men I know.
The server brought me my receipt and the drink in question, holding onto it a bit when I took it from her, looking at me with more than a little worry in her eyes so I told her I enjoyed dining there and wasn't going to do anything to get myself banned, she smiled and let go of the glass of what looked to be a gin and tonic.
I turned and headed over to the booth finally making eye contact with the blond woman sitting on the outside facing my direction, the woman on the inside of her having buried her head in her hands and my new friend sitting with her back to me on the outside across from them softly talking to the one who had her head in her hands.
As I made eye contact with the blond her eyes got large and she leaned towards Beth telling her loud enough for me to hear "Beth, he's coming this way and has a drink in his hand"
I could see Beth tense up but give her credit for not looking my way.
As I stood at the end of the table I looked at each woman in turn trying to see if I recognized any of them but didn't get any sort of feeling that I'd met or chatted with any of them, other than my little interaction just now with Beth.
As they all looked at me I placed the drink in front of Beth and looked her in the eyes and said "Trust me Miss Beth, If I'd ever had the good fortune to have gone out with your friend I'd have remembered her and not done whatever you think it is I've done, please don't judge all men by the actions of one and I won't judge all women by your actions" and walked out of the restaurant and headed over to Best Buy, quite proud of myself for staying calm and in control.
I had gone about 20 paces when I heard someone calling out behind me so I turned to find the woman who buried her head in her hands approaching me with a very red face. I waited for her to close the distance and just looked at her, noticing her three friends looking out the window at us.
"I'm sorry, I really thought you were someone else and my sister tends to be really protective of me when it comes to men, especially more now given my last encounter"
I didn't have a clue what to do or say and think she mistook my silence as anger and told me she'd pay for any dry cleaning costs. I looked down at my damp San Diego State t-shirt and told her I think it would be okay with just being tossed in the wash so no harm done.
She looked at me to see if I was being sarcastic and I noticed her lip quivering like she was on the verge of crying so I did something completely out of character and opened my arms to hug her, she leaned in and I wrapped my arms around her and softly whispered "I don't know what the asshole did or said to you but he wasn't worthy of you so please don't hold this inside, some men are just idiots when it comes to women and it hurts all of us really trying to find a partner in life. Tell Beth she has points with me for being protective of her family and no hard feelings"
I let my hands drop and told her to take care and walked away, not looking back at all.
I decided to skip Best Buy and just went home and poured myself a very large whiskey, again so out of character for me, as I could feel myself getting more and more angry at this unknown guy who had done such a number on this woman. My anger wasn't because his actions led to me getting a drink in the face but more for the fact that guys like him are so fucking over those of us who are looking for love and a real partner. No wonder women categorize men as players and the earnest one's among us can't get the time of day.
I try like hell not to let my previous dating experiences influence my interactions with someone I've just met, knowing it can be hard at times but there is no basis for punishing someone for actions committed by others.
Meeting someone is hard enough these days without having to overcome things that happened before we've even met for the first time.
Not every person you meet has an agenda and I know it's hard to weed out the good from the bad but I ask that you at least try and keep an open mind when meeting someone as you just never know if they might not be the one you are so aching to meet and have in your life.......
My name is Marcus and I sort of wish I'd gone back in and talked to Beth as I liked her attitude a little bit more than I probably should have given what happened to me :)
I want to meet someone who has that kind of passion in life, oh how I want to meet her........
Questions and comments welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Today's musical suggestion is "The Other Side" by Ruelle. A little bit haunting and sad but sort of matches my own mood the past few days.
So Mother Nature has gone back to her split personality this weekend, with the warm and wonderful Mother Nature showing up yesterday offset by today's cold bitchy personality in the form of rain intermixed with snow.....yes, still getting some snow, the only good thing being that it's melting as soon as it hits the ground.
My son is with his mom this week so I visited my daughter and grandson yesterday morning taking Moki along for the ride and some fresh air.
Once my visit was over I dropped Moki off at home, not without getting the look from the pupper telling me I was a disappointment to her yet again, and went to run some errands.
I know a lot of my blogs mention me running errands but the truth is that I find that aspect of my life to be calming and lets me get things done that I can mark off in the win column.
Yesterday's errands included gassing up the car, stopping by Pier 1 Imports to look for a set of book ends as I'm slowly trying to redo the interior of my place, going by Golf Town to price out the cost of new grips for my entire set of clubs (irons and woods), going to Bayshore to get a birthday card for my son and Easter cards for the kids, and grabbing a late lunch or early dinner at Baton Rouge.
I ended up pushing the Bayshore part of my errands to Sunday as I know I'm going to head into the office for a bit in order to write up some procedures that will require me to log into the system and I've found that while the VPN works well it isn't quite as fast as being on site.
So all the rest of my errands were done by 3 pm when I decided it was a perfect time to stop by Baton Rouge and feed my inner carnivore with some prime rib :)
When I'm dining alone I make it a habit to sit on the bar side as they are usually showing some golf on the TVs and the lighting is good and it allows me to read on my tablet while enjoying my meal.
Yesterday was no exception, the Masters was playing and the bar side was empty so I had my pick of booths to sit in and relax.
I had my usual order complimented with a Caesar salad just to prove that I can appreciate something green in my diet :)
I enjoyed my meal and was lost in the book I was reading when I sensed a group of people walking past my booth and only looked up in time to see the last person in the group. They were seated two booths past me and from the sounds of things were a group of four females out for dinner and a movie at the Landmark Theatre.
As I was getting ready to settle up my bill I could sense quite a bit of heated whispering going on with them and didn't really pay it much attention even though I sensed it wasn't a happy conversation taking place.
Suddenly out of the blue one woman exclaimed rather loudly "Are you sure it's him?"
Now at this part I should have really turned around as I was the only male in the bar and it might have saved me from what happened next, but I didn't want to be that person and appear to be rude by looking at them....if only I'd listened to my spidey senses lol
In the back of my mind I wondered if I'd chatted with one of them before on the dating site I'm on but having only gotten a look at one of them couldn't know for sure, a little part of me wondered if one of them was among the 6 blog followers who actually know who I am but again having one seen the last one left me unable to know for sure.
Luckily for me that wasn't to be the case for very long as just as I was pulling out my credit card to let the server know I was ready to pay my bill and get going I noticed movement to my left and looked up at a rather striking brunette, who from appearances looked like she'd just swallowed the proverbial bitter pill, looking down at me with undisguised anger all over her face.
That should have been my second clue that things weren't going to go well for me.....
Before I had a chance to say anything she glared at me while saying "You are a complete fucking pig and the reason women have trust issues, I hope you grow old alone and bitter about the one who got away, not that you deserve her attention and love"
Yes, I totally agree with you that that was a well worded insult but she wasn't quite done as she then proceeded to throw the contents of her drink in my face before turning and heading back to her friends.
I think she even caught them by surprise as one exclaimed "Holy crap Beth, I didn't think you'd do that"
"Sisters before misters" was her reply
Now at this point my server came rushing over looking mortified and handed me a towel to wipe my face off, asking is if I needed the manager. I've had her several times before and over the years we've enjoyed an easy banter so I could tell she was dead serious about getting the manager for me.
I told her everything was okay and to go ahead and run my card through for my bill but to please add and bring me another drink for the woman who had just lost hers on me. She sort of hesitated a moment and I reassured her this wasn't going to be a tit-for-tat thing on my part.
As I waited for her to return I closed out my tablet and put my jacket on, making sure to not glance towards the table with she who had a bigger pair than most men I know.
The server brought me my receipt and the drink in question, holding onto it a bit when I took it from her, looking at me with more than a little worry in her eyes so I told her I enjoyed dining there and wasn't going to do anything to get myself banned, she smiled and let go of the glass of what looked to be a gin and tonic.
I turned and headed over to the booth finally making eye contact with the blond woman sitting on the outside facing my direction, the woman on the inside of her having buried her head in her hands and my new friend sitting with her back to me on the outside across from them softly talking to the one who had her head in her hands.
As I made eye contact with the blond her eyes got large and she leaned towards Beth telling her loud enough for me to hear "Beth, he's coming this way and has a drink in his hand"
I could see Beth tense up but give her credit for not looking my way.
As I stood at the end of the table I looked at each woman in turn trying to see if I recognized any of them but didn't get any sort of feeling that I'd met or chatted with any of them, other than my little interaction just now with Beth.
As they all looked at me I placed the drink in front of Beth and looked her in the eyes and said "Trust me Miss Beth, If I'd ever had the good fortune to have gone out with your friend I'd have remembered her and not done whatever you think it is I've done, please don't judge all men by the actions of one and I won't judge all women by your actions" and walked out of the restaurant and headed over to Best Buy, quite proud of myself for staying calm and in control.
I had gone about 20 paces when I heard someone calling out behind me so I turned to find the woman who buried her head in her hands approaching me with a very red face. I waited for her to close the distance and just looked at her, noticing her three friends looking out the window at us.
"I'm sorry, I really thought you were someone else and my sister tends to be really protective of me when it comes to men, especially more now given my last encounter"
I didn't have a clue what to do or say and think she mistook my silence as anger and told me she'd pay for any dry cleaning costs. I looked down at my damp San Diego State t-shirt and told her I think it would be okay with just being tossed in the wash so no harm done.
She looked at me to see if I was being sarcastic and I noticed her lip quivering like she was on the verge of crying so I did something completely out of character and opened my arms to hug her, she leaned in and I wrapped my arms around her and softly whispered "I don't know what the asshole did or said to you but he wasn't worthy of you so please don't hold this inside, some men are just idiots when it comes to women and it hurts all of us really trying to find a partner in life. Tell Beth she has points with me for being protective of her family and no hard feelings"
I let my hands drop and told her to take care and walked away, not looking back at all.
I decided to skip Best Buy and just went home and poured myself a very large whiskey, again so out of character for me, as I could feel myself getting more and more angry at this unknown guy who had done such a number on this woman. My anger wasn't because his actions led to me getting a drink in the face but more for the fact that guys like him are so fucking over those of us who are looking for love and a real partner. No wonder women categorize men as players and the earnest one's among us can't get the time of day.
I try like hell not to let my previous dating experiences influence my interactions with someone I've just met, knowing it can be hard at times but there is no basis for punishing someone for actions committed by others.
Meeting someone is hard enough these days without having to overcome things that happened before we've even met for the first time.
Not every person you meet has an agenda and I know it's hard to weed out the good from the bad but I ask that you at least try and keep an open mind when meeting someone as you just never know if they might not be the one you are so aching to meet and have in your life.......
My name is Marcus and I sort of wish I'd gone back in and talked to Beth as I liked her attitude a little bit more than I probably should have given what happened to me :)
I want to meet someone who has that kind of passion in life, oh how I want to meet her........
Questions and comments welcome at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Today's musical suggestion is "The Other Side" by Ruelle. A little bit haunting and sad but sort of matches my own mood the past few days.
Monday, April 8, 2019
Over 6 years, 561 blog entries, and almost 30,000 views later......
Monday, April 08/19
and I'm still no closer to finding my elusive one than I was at the start of this blog.
Actually it's over 6 years as I began this little adventure on my profile on my first dating site, don't bother searching for it as it's long since been deleted.
So my one takeaway from all of this is that as much as you might want the one in your life there is no guarantee that life is going to see things your way and bring them to you......
I'll admit there are times I'm so frustrated by it all that I just want to toss in the towel, say "Fuck it", and make my unofficial vow of celibacy official.........
But than I'll be out running an errand and I'll see a couple so obviously in love, that head over heels, moon floating high in the sky, kind of attraction where they just look at one another with the knowledge that anything goes......
That always seems to bring me back to my own desire to have someone in my life.
Do I need someone in my life?
No, I've managed well on my own, bought a couple of cars, a house, put some money away for my son's university tuition, my own retirement, taken a vacation or two, and even had a golf membership along the way.
Life has been good but I know it could be better and that's what I want....the better than good that being part of something special can bring.....that mathematically incorrect formula where one plus one equals far more than the two we've come to expect.....
I want someone to drunk dial me at 2 am after a night out with her girls and tell me to get my cute ass over to her place.
I want someone to show up at my place on a Sunday morning with warm croissants and a cup of French Vanilla coffee for me as we cuddle and talk about everything that crosses our minds.
There are times I feel like just chucking it all in, blog included, and then ask myself where else can I get such cheap therapy sessions that might help me finally get over the crap in my head and make some progress in life.
I sincerely hope some of the entries have been more help to you than they've been to me in finding that person who is perfectly imperfect for you.
There is one, maybe two or three, for all of us and they say timing is everything.
Damn those "they's" and the logic of timing lol
My name is Marcus and I'm tired of being alone, but not so tired that I'd willingly enter into a relationship so I could have someone in my life, that wouldn't be fair to myself or honest with them.
I don't have any more of a clue today than I did yesterday or will probably have tomorrow if I'm going to ever meet my one, but I was so close once before that I know the possibility exists for me to grab that brass ring again, if just all the star perfectly align as the moon crests full in the night sky.
Sounds like I might be overreaching a bit and asking for too much doesn't it?
Maybe I am and Karma will come along and bitch slap me back to reality.......but there is also the outside chance that I might just run into her at Loblaws reaching for the same box of cereal or bump into her at Chapters looking at recent releases or if I'm really lucky, at the Kevin Haime Golf Centre where we both go to work on our short game and end up chatting about the proper way to read a green. God only knows what could happen if I just keep an open mind.
So no matter how frustrated or sad I might get at times, I'm going to do my best to remember that without any effort on my part nothing will ever come to pass as I'd like..........
Questions and comments welcome as always at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Tonight's musical suggestion is Snow Patrol's reworked "Chasing Cars" and the YouTube link is right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEeTaF7unrc
Here's to another 6 years but hopefully some of those future blog posts might be about my new girlfriend and awesome relationship where we both enjoy making the other smile and tease each other with little kisses......it could happen
and I'm still no closer to finding my elusive one than I was at the start of this blog.
Actually it's over 6 years as I began this little adventure on my profile on my first dating site, don't bother searching for it as it's long since been deleted.
So my one takeaway from all of this is that as much as you might want the one in your life there is no guarantee that life is going to see things your way and bring them to you......
I'll admit there are times I'm so frustrated by it all that I just want to toss in the towel, say "Fuck it", and make my unofficial vow of celibacy official.........
But than I'll be out running an errand and I'll see a couple so obviously in love, that head over heels, moon floating high in the sky, kind of attraction where they just look at one another with the knowledge that anything goes......
That always seems to bring me back to my own desire to have someone in my life.
Do I need someone in my life?
No, I've managed well on my own, bought a couple of cars, a house, put some money away for my son's university tuition, my own retirement, taken a vacation or two, and even had a golf membership along the way.
Life has been good but I know it could be better and that's what I want....the better than good that being part of something special can bring.....that mathematically incorrect formula where one plus one equals far more than the two we've come to expect.....
I want someone to drunk dial me at 2 am after a night out with her girls and tell me to get my cute ass over to her place.
I want someone to show up at my place on a Sunday morning with warm croissants and a cup of French Vanilla coffee for me as we cuddle and talk about everything that crosses our minds.
There are times I feel like just chucking it all in, blog included, and then ask myself where else can I get such cheap therapy sessions that might help me finally get over the crap in my head and make some progress in life.
I sincerely hope some of the entries have been more help to you than they've been to me in finding that person who is perfectly imperfect for you.
There is one, maybe two or three, for all of us and they say timing is everything.
Damn those "they's" and the logic of timing lol
My name is Marcus and I'm tired of being alone, but not so tired that I'd willingly enter into a relationship so I could have someone in my life, that wouldn't be fair to myself or honest with them.
I don't have any more of a clue today than I did yesterday or will probably have tomorrow if I'm going to ever meet my one, but I was so close once before that I know the possibility exists for me to grab that brass ring again, if just all the star perfectly align as the moon crests full in the night sky.
Sounds like I might be overreaching a bit and asking for too much doesn't it?
Maybe I am and Karma will come along and bitch slap me back to reality.......but there is also the outside chance that I might just run into her at Loblaws reaching for the same box of cereal or bump into her at Chapters looking at recent releases or if I'm really lucky, at the Kevin Haime Golf Centre where we both go to work on our short game and end up chatting about the proper way to read a green. God only knows what could happen if I just keep an open mind.
So no matter how frustrated or sad I might get at times, I'm going to do my best to remember that without any effort on my part nothing will ever come to pass as I'd like..........
Questions and comments welcome as always at ooasm2018@gmail.com
Tonight's musical suggestion is Snow Patrol's reworked "Chasing Cars" and the YouTube link is right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEeTaF7unrc
Here's to another 6 years but hopefully some of those future blog posts might be about my new girlfriend and awesome relationship where we both enjoy making the other smile and tease each other with little kisses......it could happen
Sunday, April 7, 2019
Comments on the Blog Entries
Sunday, April 07/19
So I've been trying to do a better job in both responding to emails sent to the blog email account at ooasm2018@gmail.com and those posted directly to an entry itself.
One thing I noticed was some of the direct comments seem to have little hidden links on key words so please don't click on them as I have no clue where they might redirect you and have no connection to these links in any way. In fact, I've been going through and deleting those I do find as that isn't how we roll in this shire. Yes, a Lord of the Rings quote!
The best bet is to just use the email address and if you want the message posted as a blog entry with my response than just let me know and I'll see what I can do but no promises, thought I think I rarely decline to respond that way so the odds are in your favour :)
Marcus
So I've been trying to do a better job in both responding to emails sent to the blog email account at ooasm2018@gmail.com and those posted directly to an entry itself.
One thing I noticed was some of the direct comments seem to have little hidden links on key words so please don't click on them as I have no clue where they might redirect you and have no connection to these links in any way. In fact, I've been going through and deleting those I do find as that isn't how we roll in this shire. Yes, a Lord of the Rings quote!
The best bet is to just use the email address and if you want the message posted as a blog entry with my response than just let me know and I'll see what I can do but no promises, thought I think I rarely decline to respond that way so the odds are in your favour :)
Marcus
Justin Trudeau is Wrong!
Sunday, April 07/19
No, this isn't about the debacle that is the SNC Lavalin affair, though I should probably write a blog about it to counter some of the stories I've read on my Facebook about how it's much ado about nothing. It isn't much ado about nothing, it's all about respecting the system and separation of the executive branch from meddling with the judicial branch but that isn't what I'm talking about.
When the Liberals ran for office in 2015 they made promises to a host of groups in order to win votes and come back into power.
They've partially fulfilled some of those promises and ignored some others.
The indigenous peoples are still suffering from low employment and horrendous living conditions.
Our veterans still have to wait long time frames to get assistance, when they can even get it.
Our esteemed Prime Minister, insert sarcastic tone of voice here, recently was asked about the veterans and how underfunded the programs are that were created to help them and with a straight face he responded at a town hall by saying "They ask too much of us"......
Really? This from a silver spoon aristocrat from Montreal who has never held a real job or served in the military.
I've had the great fortune to know more than a few members of the Canadian Forces, might even have dated one or two over the years, and even had the honour of attending the Army Ball once a upon a time.
They ask not for too much, they respond to the call of duty when presented with a challenge.
They leave family and hearth to stand watch thousands of miles from home without complaint.
They make do with obsolete equipment that has other armed forces laughing at them.
They stand willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in order to make the world a better place and safeguard the rights we at times take so lightly. Many have left our shores for duty elsewhere and not all have come home, some of those who have returned have not done so in whole.
They ask for nothing more than was promised them Mister Prime Minister.
So the next time you offer up compensation for a convicted terrorist think about where that blood money can better be spent on those making it possible for you to prance around in costumes while making state visits.
The next time you open our borders to refugees without doing real homework on the cost ask yourself if you've done enough for our own people before writing cheques off of our accounts.
I've always prided myself on voting for the best candidate when entering the polling station regardless of party affiliation but come this October you'll have to force my hand to vote for any Liberal candidate in my own riding as I'll be damned if I'll do a single thing to keep that trumped up little peacock in office one day longer than necessary.
Is Canada better off with the conservatives back in power? Probably not and that is the problem when you only have a choice between the right (Conservatives) and the left (Liberals) when choosing who will run the country. It's unfortunate that there is no proven middle ground party at this stage to balance the other two out but maybe we'll get lucky some day.
My name is Marcus and this is my little rant on the uselessness of Justin Trudeau as PM of Canada.
No, this isn't about the debacle that is the SNC Lavalin affair, though I should probably write a blog about it to counter some of the stories I've read on my Facebook about how it's much ado about nothing. It isn't much ado about nothing, it's all about respecting the system and separation of the executive branch from meddling with the judicial branch but that isn't what I'm talking about.
When the Liberals ran for office in 2015 they made promises to a host of groups in order to win votes and come back into power.
They've partially fulfilled some of those promises and ignored some others.
The indigenous peoples are still suffering from low employment and horrendous living conditions.
Our veterans still have to wait long time frames to get assistance, when they can even get it.
Our esteemed Prime Minister, insert sarcastic tone of voice here, recently was asked about the veterans and how underfunded the programs are that were created to help them and with a straight face he responded at a town hall by saying "They ask too much of us"......
Really? This from a silver spoon aristocrat from Montreal who has never held a real job or served in the military.
I've had the great fortune to know more than a few members of the Canadian Forces, might even have dated one or two over the years, and even had the honour of attending the Army Ball once a upon a time.
They ask not for too much, they respond to the call of duty when presented with a challenge.
They leave family and hearth to stand watch thousands of miles from home without complaint.
They make do with obsolete equipment that has other armed forces laughing at them.
They stand willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in order to make the world a better place and safeguard the rights we at times take so lightly. Many have left our shores for duty elsewhere and not all have come home, some of those who have returned have not done so in whole.
They ask for nothing more than was promised them Mister Prime Minister.
So the next time you offer up compensation for a convicted terrorist think about where that blood money can better be spent on those making it possible for you to prance around in costumes while making state visits.
The next time you open our borders to refugees without doing real homework on the cost ask yourself if you've done enough for our own people before writing cheques off of our accounts.
I've always prided myself on voting for the best candidate when entering the polling station regardless of party affiliation but come this October you'll have to force my hand to vote for any Liberal candidate in my own riding as I'll be damned if I'll do a single thing to keep that trumped up little peacock in office one day longer than necessary.
Is Canada better off with the conservatives back in power? Probably not and that is the problem when you only have a choice between the right (Conservatives) and the left (Liberals) when choosing who will run the country. It's unfortunate that there is no proven middle ground party at this stage to balance the other two out but maybe we'll get lucky some day.
My name is Marcus and this is my little rant on the uselessness of Justin Trudeau as PM of Canada.
One of those Sunday's for sure..........
Sunday, April 07/19
So with this being our year end at work and my role as a Business Analyst supporting the accounting team in all matters related to the new software my weekend has been all about being on call answering emails and texts about issues.
That combined with the approaching end of the university term for my son and the building stress of papers coming due and writing final exams has meant I've been keeping close to home this weekend so as to support both of these diametrically opposite demands on my time.
Having said that, I've been doing a lot of reading and YouTube watching around everything else going on.
My reading is still focused on romantic stories more than anything else, yes my man card has been cut in half and burned by a roving band of Alpha males so no comments needed from the peanut gallery please.
The YouTube watching has been more diversified of late, lots of music videos coupled with some Married at First Sight videos as well. Who knew Jamie and Doug would end up so in love with a cute little family from such a rocky start. I know I didn't see that one coming and I have to admit the optimist in me takes great delight in such an outcome.
This morning I came across a video by Omeleto about a guy who decides to try dating offline, by that he means to meet women around him in his day to day life without depending on any of the dozens of websites or apps to be found on our phone. It was kind of interesting and I applaud his efforts as more often then not he was shot down but there were a few successes as well.
The one video that made me smile wasn't romantic at all but did make me think about life and relationships. It is a short drama titled "Whispers among Wolves" and I found it quite captivating and hope you do to should you decide to take a gamble on it. I've attached the link to it below.
Whispers Among Wolves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGJqY3zQFXg
Seems Omeleto has quite a few short films posted that cover a number of genres, from romance to drama to comedy.
If you've got a couple of minutes to kill I highly recommend the one noted above as well as the following:
Reception - Romance Short film, made me smile and root for the ending I wanted
Proposal - Romance Short Film, the tables get turned, at first that is
Sometimes we can gain inspiration and happiness from the most unlikely of places.......
My name is Marcus and my efforts continue to be a good father, co-worker, friend, to hit the perfect wedge from 115 yards, and to hopefully meet the one woman who is imperfectly perfect for me.
Questions and comments are always welcome at the blog email address: ooasm2018@gmail.com
Today's musical suggestion is "If You Want My Love" by Cheap Trick. Pretty much says it all where I am concerned :-)
So with this being our year end at work and my role as a Business Analyst supporting the accounting team in all matters related to the new software my weekend has been all about being on call answering emails and texts about issues.
That combined with the approaching end of the university term for my son and the building stress of papers coming due and writing final exams has meant I've been keeping close to home this weekend so as to support both of these diametrically opposite demands on my time.
Having said that, I've been doing a lot of reading and YouTube watching around everything else going on.
My reading is still focused on romantic stories more than anything else, yes my man card has been cut in half and burned by a roving band of Alpha males so no comments needed from the peanut gallery please.
The YouTube watching has been more diversified of late, lots of music videos coupled with some Married at First Sight videos as well. Who knew Jamie and Doug would end up so in love with a cute little family from such a rocky start. I know I didn't see that one coming and I have to admit the optimist in me takes great delight in such an outcome.
This morning I came across a video by Omeleto about a guy who decides to try dating offline, by that he means to meet women around him in his day to day life without depending on any of the dozens of websites or apps to be found on our phone. It was kind of interesting and I applaud his efforts as more often then not he was shot down but there were a few successes as well.
The one video that made me smile wasn't romantic at all but did make me think about life and relationships. It is a short drama titled "Whispers among Wolves" and I found it quite captivating and hope you do to should you decide to take a gamble on it. I've attached the link to it below.
Whispers Among Wolves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGJqY3zQFXg
Seems Omeleto has quite a few short films posted that cover a number of genres, from romance to drama to comedy.
If you've got a couple of minutes to kill I highly recommend the one noted above as well as the following:
Reception - Romance Short film, made me smile and root for the ending I wanted
Proposal - Romance Short Film, the tables get turned, at first that is
Sometimes we can gain inspiration and happiness from the most unlikely of places.......
My name is Marcus and my efforts continue to be a good father, co-worker, friend, to hit the perfect wedge from 115 yards, and to hopefully meet the one woman who is imperfectly perfect for me.
Questions and comments are always welcome at the blog email address: ooasm2018@gmail.com
Today's musical suggestion is "If You Want My Love" by Cheap Trick. Pretty much says it all where I am concerned :-)
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