Thursday, April 28/16
Today's musical suggestion is "Lost Boy" by Ruth B
So I'm pretty I've mentioned in a prior post that my company was bought back in January by a competitor located down in California.
Nothing really unusual in that as it tends to happen in the high tech field, the big boys devour the newcomers in order to get access to new and upcoming technology. That really is the story with us, we have a method for optic packet compression that lets large web based companies like Google and Apple reduce costs but our lead time took it's toll on our financials and we needed someone with deep pockets to see things to completion. Not the end of the world and also not why work has been a circus the past few weeks.
No, the circus atmosphere comes from our controller leaving before the sale even closed to pursue her dream of a being a CFO. Can't fault someone for following their dreams, nope not at all.
I do fault our new parent for leaving the position vacant for almost a month and when they did do something about it they completely fouled it up by saying the new controller, G, was here to help us and we all reported to someone down in Sunnyvale.
Now with a group of professionals this wouldn't have been an issue but unfortunately I've come to discover that I don't necessarily work with those who consider themselves professional and therein lies the issue........
I consider myself a professional and have the +25 years of varied and ever increasing experience to show for my efforts. I work with numbers and live by excel to create ways to express information so that meaningful results can be achieved and acted upon. I've got a few degrees but consider myself more street smart than book smart and try to remind my son that option almost always works out for the best, combine street and book to create opportunities for yourself.
I work with a couple of other analysts and we tend to get along fairly well. Big M works on Inventory and interacts with global supply chain, little M works on planning and analysis, T works on revenue, and yours truly is responsible for expenses, taxes, and transfer pricing. Somewhere along the way the new corporate masters got my name as the person most likely to get things done and I've found myself on more task forces working on multiple integration projects than is possible for one person.
The circus came to town about 10 days ago when little M decided he didn't work for G and pretty much called him out in a staff meeting, implying he was incompetent to handle the controllers position. Now we all worked for a good controller but she was very hands off and didn't make huge demands on our time, things that were bound to change with the new ownership but I get the sense that little M thinks he can dig his heels in and keep things the way they are but he is in for a rude awakening as I've been doing this for far longer and know how the wind flows. Change is a coming and people better be prepared for it.
As little M was calling G out we all got very busy looking at our cell phones or pads of paper as it was extremely awkward to say the least. Not two days later and it happens again when G asks for the backup to the revised Q1 forecast that little M sent to corporate and little M tells him he sent it to his boss and G can ask him for it as he doesn't have to provide it to anyone else. Now this happened late on a Friday and I literally thought they were going to come to blows as they went at it.
Last week I was out sick on Tuesday and Wednesday and guess who got into another shouting match on Tuesday? Yes, G & little M. At least this time they took it behind closed doors but from what I've been told it was still pretty loud.
Normally you'd expect to see someone terminated over behavior like this and the fact that nothing happened after the first time might have empowered little M to keep pushing.
Monday I had my first formal discussion about my current work load with the group controller and one of her first questions was what the hell was going on up there..........I took a few moments to consider my answer before I explained all that had happened and told her part of the blame rested with her as she had not clearly outlined what G's role was and how he was the boss. She replied that I didn't seem to have any issues working for and with G and I laughed and told her I'd been around the block a few times and had some years of experience on the others and could appreciate the real world whereas they were still a bit wet behind the ears workwise. Plus I said I knew my position would end on September 30th and they'd give me a bucket of money to go away and I was perfectly content with that arrangement. She asked how I would feel if they wanted to extend me past that date and I said we could talk about than as we'd need to revisit that bucket of money and she laughed and said no doubt.
Now I'm not sure if someone had a talk with little M but he's been civil to G this week and the hope is that it continues but the feeling is that it's only a matter of time till little M explodes once again, and should that happen I'm pretty sure little M won't have the permanent job he has now but will find himself holding a box with his belongings and the bare minimum severance due under the Ontario ESA.....and should that happen I'll feel bad for little M but I also know that little M would never let someone talk to him the way he was talking to G so as the saying goes.....you reap what you sow
The weekend is almost here and I've got tee times lined up for Friday after work and Sunday morning so you can colour me a happy duffer :)
My name is Marcus and this blog documents my attempts to be a good father, friend, co-worker, master the perfect 8 iron from +135 yards, begin dating once again, and maybe meet the one.
Thursday, April 28, 2016
Update
Thursday, April 28/16
Been crazy busy and haven't had a chance to post any new entries but don't worry as I've got a couple pending.
As a teaser here are the blog titles you can expect to see over the next day or so:
The Circus that is Work
Reliving the Nightmare
The Son's Dating Question
So I'll leave you to mull over these and let your fertile minds work away until they are actually posted.
Marcus
Been crazy busy and haven't had a chance to post any new entries but don't worry as I've got a couple pending.
As a teaser here are the blog titles you can expect to see over the next day or so:
The Circus that is Work
Reliving the Nightmare
The Son's Dating Question
So I'll leave you to mull over these and let your fertile minds work away until they are actually posted.
Marcus
Monday, April 25, 2016
Sunday Recap
Monday, April 25/16
So my Sunday was sort of a strange one in that I got some things done and skipped some others.
The strangeness started with the 8:02am text from my daughter that simply said "Dad"
Now I don't mind getting texts from my kids but to send me one at 8am on a Sunday just seems silly as they both know that is my day to sleep in a bit.
Being annoyed at her for the single word text meant I didn't respond to it. Now some may criticize me for that but my position is that if it was important she'd have called me or used more than one word in her message. Instead I rolled over and went back to sleep to try and finish a very bizarre dream, one I won't be getting into at this time.
When I did wake up I figured it was around 9 or 9:30 but was shocked to see it was actually 12:10pm!!!!!
Think I slept in so long due to still recovering from last weeks cold as I've been fighting the runny nose and cough since Friday. Hopefully that is now behind me and I can just feel better from here on out, fingers crossed!
Even Moki seemed shocked at the time, another shock being how she ended up in my room as the last I saw of her Saturday night was her curled up on the sons bed sound asleep as he talked to his girlfriend. Guessing at some point he left his room for a drink or snack and she used the opportunity to change rooms and the chance to hog my bed versus his bed lol
After taking her for a quick walk I woke the son up so he could eat something and resume his math test preparations, ran an errand to the pharmacy to get my prescription, and brought home some lunch for us.
Before leaving I got a call from the daughter asking if I wanted to meet her and her boyfriend at Bruce Pitt so the dogs could run around and get some exercise. BP is a cool place but not somewhere I want Moki after a rain as it gets very muddy and given her fur colour, so I said not this week and once it gets dry we'll be good to go, she called me a wuss with a laugh and hung up :)
I tidied up the house and sorted the laundry before succumbing to the siren call of Golf Town. While there I chatted with a sales associate about the recent course openings and compared notes on who looked good greens wise and who had some winter damage to beware of, turns out nobody :)
Once home I did some bill paying online and got the grill going for our steak with roasted potatoes and green beans. Turned out delish and the topping, as usual, was the seasonings from that little shoppe down in Westport.
We ended the night watching the season premiere of Game of Thrones and about 10 minutes in both agreed we should have done preview watching of last seasons final 2 episodes as we had so many questions on different characters and scenes for one another.
So not the craziest of weekends but yet one I enjoyed and hope to repeat again soon.
This coming weekend will be my bachelor weeken so its sure to include a round of golf, some yard work, and possibly drinks as I've been approached about doing that whole meet and greet thing. Not convinced I'm up for it just yet but as my daughter reminds me "you've got to start at some point dad"........
My name is Marcus and this blog is my attempt to document my efforts as a father, friend, co-worker, mastering the perfect 8 iron from +135 yards, and starting to date once more in the hope I find that all important click we all desire.
P.S. Saturday's round saw me come close to hitting a perfect 8 iron from +130 yards but I didn't take the wind into account and it slid off the right side of the 18th green so it doesn't count.
So my Sunday was sort of a strange one in that I got some things done and skipped some others.
The strangeness started with the 8:02am text from my daughter that simply said "Dad"
Now I don't mind getting texts from my kids but to send me one at 8am on a Sunday just seems silly as they both know that is my day to sleep in a bit.
Being annoyed at her for the single word text meant I didn't respond to it. Now some may criticize me for that but my position is that if it was important she'd have called me or used more than one word in her message. Instead I rolled over and went back to sleep to try and finish a very bizarre dream, one I won't be getting into at this time.
When I did wake up I figured it was around 9 or 9:30 but was shocked to see it was actually 12:10pm!!!!!
Think I slept in so long due to still recovering from last weeks cold as I've been fighting the runny nose and cough since Friday. Hopefully that is now behind me and I can just feel better from here on out, fingers crossed!
Even Moki seemed shocked at the time, another shock being how she ended up in my room as the last I saw of her Saturday night was her curled up on the sons bed sound asleep as he talked to his girlfriend. Guessing at some point he left his room for a drink or snack and she used the opportunity to change rooms and the chance to hog my bed versus his bed lol
After taking her for a quick walk I woke the son up so he could eat something and resume his math test preparations, ran an errand to the pharmacy to get my prescription, and brought home some lunch for us.
Before leaving I got a call from the daughter asking if I wanted to meet her and her boyfriend at Bruce Pitt so the dogs could run around and get some exercise. BP is a cool place but not somewhere I want Moki after a rain as it gets very muddy and given her fur colour, so I said not this week and once it gets dry we'll be good to go, she called me a wuss with a laugh and hung up :)
I tidied up the house and sorted the laundry before succumbing to the siren call of Golf Town. While there I chatted with a sales associate about the recent course openings and compared notes on who looked good greens wise and who had some winter damage to beware of, turns out nobody :)
Once home I did some bill paying online and got the grill going for our steak with roasted potatoes and green beans. Turned out delish and the topping, as usual, was the seasonings from that little shoppe down in Westport.
We ended the night watching the season premiere of Game of Thrones and about 10 minutes in both agreed we should have done preview watching of last seasons final 2 episodes as we had so many questions on different characters and scenes for one another.
So not the craziest of weekends but yet one I enjoyed and hope to repeat again soon.
This coming weekend will be my bachelor weeken so its sure to include a round of golf, some yard work, and possibly drinks as I've been approached about doing that whole meet and greet thing. Not convinced I'm up for it just yet but as my daughter reminds me "you've got to start at some point dad"........
My name is Marcus and this blog is my attempt to document my efforts as a father, friend, co-worker, mastering the perfect 8 iron from +135 yards, and starting to date once more in the hope I find that all important click we all desire.
P.S. Saturday's round saw me come close to hitting a perfect 8 iron from +130 yards but I didn't take the wind into account and it slid off the right side of the 18th green so it doesn't count.
Saturday, April 23, 2016
Saturday, so busy and so completely satisfying
Saturday, April 23/16
Wow.......it has been one crazy busy day filled with errands and some fun activities.
Yesterday was one of those days where I just didn't feel like cooking so when I got home I offered to take my son and his girlfriend out for sushi at Kanata Fusion House, our go to spot the past few months. It was kind of busy and not quite as good as usual but we are hoping it was a one time glitch as it is so close and convenient when we get a craving for sushi :)
Set the alarm for 8:15 this morning as there were some things I wanted to do first thing and I sort of learned from someone that it's a great time to get up and tackle the day, still leaving the afternoon for fun things.
My errands included Shoppers Drug for an antihistamine for my son as he is suffering from seasonal allergies, Kanata PharmaSave to ask a question about my prescriptions, Pet Smart to get some treats for Moki, Loblaws to load up on groceries to keep one teenage son fueled up, and the bank to get some cash for his lunches this week as well as food money before his tutoring sessions.
Once I got home I put everything away and woke the sleeping giant up so he could have something to eat before we watched the FA Cup semi final match between Manchester United and Everton from Wembley Stadium. It was a nail biter but my beloved ManU pulled it out 2-1 and will face the winner of the Watford v Crystal Palace match in the FA Cup Final next month!!!!
Once the match ended my son went upstairs to do some studying for his math test on Monday and I loaded my golf bag into the car and headed over to Glen Mar to see if I could get 9 in before dinner, luck was with me and I was able to play the back 9, though I struggled for the first few holes before finding a rhythm the last 5 holes and played the way I thought possible, bogey golf :)
Dinner was a nice prosciutto stuffed tortellini and garlic bread, after which I let my son talk me into watching 28 Weeks Later..........kind of scary and I didn't like the end at all, not that it's a bad ending just one I didn't see coming.
I was going to act like a driver for my daughter and take her downtown for her friends birthday but she called and said she didn't feel up to it as she's had a long week so I'm off the hook now :)
Thinking tomorrow will be some yard work, tend to some house chores, catch up on laundry, grill up a nice steak with roasted potatoes and green beans for dinner before we end the night with the season premiere of "Game of Thrones".
All in all not too bad of a weekend, bit hectic and has me a little tired but that just means I might sleep really well.
How was your day?
Marcus
Wow.......it has been one crazy busy day filled with errands and some fun activities.
Yesterday was one of those days where I just didn't feel like cooking so when I got home I offered to take my son and his girlfriend out for sushi at Kanata Fusion House, our go to spot the past few months. It was kind of busy and not quite as good as usual but we are hoping it was a one time glitch as it is so close and convenient when we get a craving for sushi :)
Set the alarm for 8:15 this morning as there were some things I wanted to do first thing and I sort of learned from someone that it's a great time to get up and tackle the day, still leaving the afternoon for fun things.
My errands included Shoppers Drug for an antihistamine for my son as he is suffering from seasonal allergies, Kanata PharmaSave to ask a question about my prescriptions, Pet Smart to get some treats for Moki, Loblaws to load up on groceries to keep one teenage son fueled up, and the bank to get some cash for his lunches this week as well as food money before his tutoring sessions.
Once I got home I put everything away and woke the sleeping giant up so he could have something to eat before we watched the FA Cup semi final match between Manchester United and Everton from Wembley Stadium. It was a nail biter but my beloved ManU pulled it out 2-1 and will face the winner of the Watford v Crystal Palace match in the FA Cup Final next month!!!!
Once the match ended my son went upstairs to do some studying for his math test on Monday and I loaded my golf bag into the car and headed over to Glen Mar to see if I could get 9 in before dinner, luck was with me and I was able to play the back 9, though I struggled for the first few holes before finding a rhythm the last 5 holes and played the way I thought possible, bogey golf :)
Dinner was a nice prosciutto stuffed tortellini and garlic bread, after which I let my son talk me into watching 28 Weeks Later..........kind of scary and I didn't like the end at all, not that it's a bad ending just one I didn't see coming.
I was going to act like a driver for my daughter and take her downtown for her friends birthday but she called and said she didn't feel up to it as she's had a long week so I'm off the hook now :)
Thinking tomorrow will be some yard work, tend to some house chores, catch up on laundry, grill up a nice steak with roasted potatoes and green beans for dinner before we end the night with the season premiere of "Game of Thrones".
All in all not too bad of a weekend, bit hectic and has me a little tired but that just means I might sleep really well.
How was your day?
Marcus
Friday, April 22, 2016
The Weekend!!!!!
Friday, April 22/16
So the weekend is here and couldn't come a minute too soon as though I've gotten lots of rest this week I'm still feeling a bit tired and can see a nap in my future.
I don't have any real plans and though you'd think I'd be looking to get a round or two of golf in this weekend think I'll be keeping it calm since I'm still getting over that nasty cold.
The son has a math test on Monday so there will be some studying to get done and if the weather is nice I might see about raking/thatching the front lawn and starting to review my options for updating the yards.
Moki is looking a bit ragged so I'm sure there is a bath in her future....shhhhhh don't tell her
I'm sure along the way there will be other things that come up but for the most part things will be pretty calm and quiet :)
So what is on your agenda for the weekend?
Marcus
So the weekend is here and couldn't come a minute too soon as though I've gotten lots of rest this week I'm still feeling a bit tired and can see a nap in my future.
I don't have any real plans and though you'd think I'd be looking to get a round or two of golf in this weekend think I'll be keeping it calm since I'm still getting over that nasty cold.
The son has a math test on Monday so there will be some studying to get done and if the weather is nice I might see about raking/thatching the front lawn and starting to review my options for updating the yards.
Moki is looking a bit ragged so I'm sure there is a bath in her future....shhhhhh don't tell her
I'm sure along the way there will be other things that come up but for the most part things will be pretty calm and quiet :)
So what is on your agenda for the weekend?
Marcus
Thursday, April 21, 2016
Sad News from Minneapolis
Thursday, April 21/16
I wasn't his biggest fan but I appreciated what he brought to music and am sad to see him leave his fans behind as he continues his musical journey by himself......Prince Rogers Nelson b 1958 d 2016
Rest in Peace and may all of your guitar riffs resonate with the angels.
Purple Rain and Little Red Corvette remain two of my favourite songs by one of the best musicians we'll ever have the joy to watch and listen too.
M
I wasn't his biggest fan but I appreciated what he brought to music and am sad to see him leave his fans behind as he continues his musical journey by himself......Prince Rogers Nelson b 1958 d 2016
Rest in Peace and may all of your guitar riffs resonate with the angels.
Purple Rain and Little Red Corvette remain two of my favourite songs by one of the best musicians we'll ever have the joy to watch and listen too.
M
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Spring Colds are the Worst
Wednesday, April 20/16
So I've been laid up in bed the past two days with a spring cold that has me congested with a sore and scratchy throat.
I honestly think spring colds are the worst as it comes at a point when the weather has started to change for the better and your body begins to relax a bit from the hardships of winter.
I felt it coming on while playing the back 9 at Mapleview on Sunday but didn't have any Tylenol in the car so wasn't able to medicine up till I got home. Made it through the day on Monday but when I got home from work pretty much fell asleep straightaway and didn't wake up till almost 6am to the normal aches and pains.
Feel bad about missing work as we have a new set of auditors in the office doing some balance sheet reviews but feeling like I do and being around people would just be so wrong.
So it's back to the couch for me with some soup and juice along with more Buckley's.....the caplets and not the liquid.....yuck my entire body shudders at the thought of that taste!!!!
My name is Marcus and I admit to being a bit of a baby when I don't feel well.
So I've been laid up in bed the past two days with a spring cold that has me congested with a sore and scratchy throat.
I honestly think spring colds are the worst as it comes at a point when the weather has started to change for the better and your body begins to relax a bit from the hardships of winter.
I felt it coming on while playing the back 9 at Mapleview on Sunday but didn't have any Tylenol in the car so wasn't able to medicine up till I got home. Made it through the day on Monday but when I got home from work pretty much fell asleep straightaway and didn't wake up till almost 6am to the normal aches and pains.
Feel bad about missing work as we have a new set of auditors in the office doing some balance sheet reviews but feeling like I do and being around people would just be so wrong.
So it's back to the couch for me with some soup and juice along with more Buckley's.....the caplets and not the liquid.....yuck my entire body shudders at the thought of that taste!!!!
My name is Marcus and I admit to being a bit of a baby when I don't feel well.
Sunday, April 17, 2016
An Update on Saturday & the First Round of Golf
Sunday, April 17/16
Today's musical recommendation is First Day Of Spring by The Gandharvas
Ok, for those wondering about Saturday night and if I received any texts or calls the answer is a resounding no.
I did send one saying I hoped she had an amazing evening and to be safe but didn't hear back.
I had deleted her contact information back in October when she broke up with me but being me I took a screen shot of it so I still could reach out down the road. Well I reached out and not only has that door been closed by her but she has now locked it. So that screen shot has now been deleted and I don't have any contact information for C. Yes, I know where she works and could always call her up at the office but given her busy schedule, not knowing if she was even in the office or out dealing with her people, and the countless people who screen her calls it would never work so no sense even trying.
It sucks but that's life and not much I can do about it other then continue being me and hope there is someone out there who can appreciate me for me as I'll appreciate them for the person they are.
I do hope C finds someone who will feel about her the way I did but that's not likely, not said to sound egotistical but more stated from how much I know she means to me and will continue to mean to me for some time to come.
******************
Today's round of golf was both good and bad.
Good that the new clubs still continue to amaze me with distances and bad in that my putting and short game work was atrocious.
I loved Mapleview Golf & Country Club and think it has a lot to offer golfers of all skill sets. The course required me to use all of my clubs and play some strategic shots in order to try and make bogey. The green on 16 is scary small and slopes away on all fours sides so you better be on top of the pin or odds are the ball will roll off the green and require a bump and run shot........I missed the pin by about a foot and watched in horror as my ball slowly trickled off the back of the green. Hardest earned double bogey of my playing career.
Back seemed to hold up well and only really had some issues with my arms as they started to feel a bit heavy on the back 9 from lack of playing time. Hopefully this will improve over the next few weeks.
Final score was a 95 which isn't too bad considering it includes 2 lost balls. Best hole was the long par 5 10th on which I made par with a sweet 18 footer middle of the cup putt.
It was a disappointing weekend in some ways and a nice one in others.
How was your weekend? Do anything interesting that you care to shore with the blogger?
My name is Marcus and this blog documents my attempts at being a good father, friend, co-worker, nailing the perfect 8 iron from +135 yards, starting to date once again, and maybe meeting my one.
Today's musical recommendation is First Day Of Spring by The Gandharvas
Ok, for those wondering about Saturday night and if I received any texts or calls the answer is a resounding no.
I did send one saying I hoped she had an amazing evening and to be safe but didn't hear back.
I had deleted her contact information back in October when she broke up with me but being me I took a screen shot of it so I still could reach out down the road. Well I reached out and not only has that door been closed by her but she has now locked it. So that screen shot has now been deleted and I don't have any contact information for C. Yes, I know where she works and could always call her up at the office but given her busy schedule, not knowing if she was even in the office or out dealing with her people, and the countless people who screen her calls it would never work so no sense even trying.
It sucks but that's life and not much I can do about it other then continue being me and hope there is someone out there who can appreciate me for me as I'll appreciate them for the person they are.
I do hope C finds someone who will feel about her the way I did but that's not likely, not said to sound egotistical but more stated from how much I know she means to me and will continue to mean to me for some time to come.
******************
Today's round of golf was both good and bad.
Good that the new clubs still continue to amaze me with distances and bad in that my putting and short game work was atrocious.
I loved Mapleview Golf & Country Club and think it has a lot to offer golfers of all skill sets. The course required me to use all of my clubs and play some strategic shots in order to try and make bogey. The green on 16 is scary small and slopes away on all fours sides so you better be on top of the pin or odds are the ball will roll off the green and require a bump and run shot........I missed the pin by about a foot and watched in horror as my ball slowly trickled off the back of the green. Hardest earned double bogey of my playing career.
Back seemed to hold up well and only really had some issues with my arms as they started to feel a bit heavy on the back 9 from lack of playing time. Hopefully this will improve over the next few weeks.
Final score was a 95 which isn't too bad considering it includes 2 lost balls. Best hole was the long par 5 10th on which I made par with a sweet 18 footer middle of the cup putt.
It was a disappointing weekend in some ways and a nice one in others.
How was your weekend? Do anything interesting that you care to shore with the blogger?
My name is Marcus and this blog documents my attempts at being a good father, friend, co-worker, nailing the perfect 8 iron from +135 yards, starting to date once again, and maybe meeting my one.
Saturday, April 16, 2016
First Round of 2016 Booked!!! (Updated)
Saturday, April 16/16
So I've booked my first round of golf for 2016 and I'll be teeing it off at a course I've never played before but heard some good things about from J at work - Mapleview down near Perth.
So now I'm off to the driving range to test out my swing and see how the back does.
Hope everyone is getting out to enjoy the awesome weather Mother Nature has sent us and have a great weekend :)
Marcus
Update 18:53
Back appears to have handled hitting a medium bucket of balls without any issues as I worked my way up from wedges to the driver. Unfortunately it feels like the swing didn't survive the winter layoff and I'll be needing to book some time with Jason at Kevin Haime Golf Centre in order to straighten things out...........
So I've booked my first round of golf for 2016 and I'll be teeing it off at a course I've never played before but heard some good things about from J at work - Mapleview down near Perth.
So now I'm off to the driving range to test out my swing and see how the back does.
Hope everyone is getting out to enjoy the awesome weather Mother Nature has sent us and have a great weekend :)
Marcus
Update 18:53
Back appears to have handled hitting a medium bucket of balls without any issues as I worked my way up from wedges to the driver. Unfortunately it feels like the swing didn't survive the winter layoff and I'll be needing to book some time with Jason at Kevin Haime Golf Centre in order to straighten things out...........
Once More Romantic Me versus Logical Me
Saturday, April 16/16
So the big weekend has arrived and I'm getting myself set for it.
Big weekend? Set for it?
I can hear you asking yourself "what the hell is Marcus rambling about now?"
Well today is my son's 17th birthday so that alone makes it a big weekend in my books, and if you add in the fact that there is a huge Gala event happening tonight that I know will bring a certain drop dead gorgeous woman into the city and it is absolutely a big weekend.
The birthday part is easy to deal with as I took him out to dinner last night before dropping him off at his mom's place to start his week with her. He's having some buddies over for a "Bro's Gaming Weekend" and they'll be hitting a local movie theatre that offers gaming on the huge screen. He's done this before and it's very cool. I set my alarm and sent him a happy birthday text at 2:11 this morning as that was the moment he decided to bless us with his presence - Moki was not impressed with the alarm going off in the middle of the night :)
Now the Gala is a whole different story and one a lot harder to deal with as I wished I was there as her plus one like I was last year. As I sit here writing this entry I can see the whole event from last year unfolding and can't put into words the feelings I felt inside as that night unfolded. It was my first indoctrination into a very special way of life and just the first of many times I'd be left smiling and feeling so very proud of C and the rest of her organization.
During lunch with A on Thursday we talked about the upcoming weekend and compared plans, with him having booked off Friday in order to drive down to Toronto with his family to watch his daughters high school basketball team in the OFSAA playoffs and my dealing with the birthday and Gala.
A smiled and reminded me that the weather was going to be great so I should get my ass off to either the driving range to test my back or to a course and get the first round of the season in the books.
He told me not to drink or I might end up drunk texting C and we both laughed at the thought. I told him I've never drunk texted/called anyone nor have I ever received one in return. He sort of found that shocking but it's true. He then smiled and said maybe this would be the weekend I lose my drunk texting cherry lol
The truth is I can't see myself doing something like that as it would require me getting hammered to lose that kind of control and the last time I let that happen I was in Jamaica with C and the end result was falling asleep....not the end to that night either of us was looking for but I think I made up for it the next day :)
I'd love to get a drunk text from C tonight but doubt it will happen as I'm sure her night will be filled with fun and even some romance given the nature of the night.
Romantic me so wants to hear from her and logical me just sits back and wonders when I became such a pathetic guy who longs for something he knows will never happen.
Romantic me will be keeping my iPhone handy while logical me thinks we need to go see a movie so we can keep our divided mind off of things.
I know this all sounds so silly but nobody ever said love had to make sense, hell if it did I'd doubt many of us would ever get involved with someone in order to avoid the convoluted feelings it seems to bring out in us.
My name is Marcus and these are my attempts to document being a parent, friend, co-worker, mastering the perfect 8 iron from +135 yards, and finding love.
Oh...before I close this out today's musical suggestion is a bit old school with Breakout by Swing Out Sister....enjoy
So the big weekend has arrived and I'm getting myself set for it.
Big weekend? Set for it?
I can hear you asking yourself "what the hell is Marcus rambling about now?"
Well today is my son's 17th birthday so that alone makes it a big weekend in my books, and if you add in the fact that there is a huge Gala event happening tonight that I know will bring a certain drop dead gorgeous woman into the city and it is absolutely a big weekend.
The birthday part is easy to deal with as I took him out to dinner last night before dropping him off at his mom's place to start his week with her. He's having some buddies over for a "Bro's Gaming Weekend" and they'll be hitting a local movie theatre that offers gaming on the huge screen. He's done this before and it's very cool. I set my alarm and sent him a happy birthday text at 2:11 this morning as that was the moment he decided to bless us with his presence - Moki was not impressed with the alarm going off in the middle of the night :)
Now the Gala is a whole different story and one a lot harder to deal with as I wished I was there as her plus one like I was last year. As I sit here writing this entry I can see the whole event from last year unfolding and can't put into words the feelings I felt inside as that night unfolded. It was my first indoctrination into a very special way of life and just the first of many times I'd be left smiling and feeling so very proud of C and the rest of her organization.
During lunch with A on Thursday we talked about the upcoming weekend and compared plans, with him having booked off Friday in order to drive down to Toronto with his family to watch his daughters high school basketball team in the OFSAA playoffs and my dealing with the birthday and Gala.
A smiled and reminded me that the weather was going to be great so I should get my ass off to either the driving range to test my back or to a course and get the first round of the season in the books.
He told me not to drink or I might end up drunk texting C and we both laughed at the thought. I told him I've never drunk texted/called anyone nor have I ever received one in return. He sort of found that shocking but it's true. He then smiled and said maybe this would be the weekend I lose my drunk texting cherry lol
The truth is I can't see myself doing something like that as it would require me getting hammered to lose that kind of control and the last time I let that happen I was in Jamaica with C and the end result was falling asleep....not the end to that night either of us was looking for but I think I made up for it the next day :)
I'd love to get a drunk text from C tonight but doubt it will happen as I'm sure her night will be filled with fun and even some romance given the nature of the night.
Romantic me so wants to hear from her and logical me just sits back and wonders when I became such a pathetic guy who longs for something he knows will never happen.
Romantic me will be keeping my iPhone handy while logical me thinks we need to go see a movie so we can keep our divided mind off of things.
I know this all sounds so silly but nobody ever said love had to make sense, hell if it did I'd doubt many of us would ever get involved with someone in order to avoid the convoluted feelings it seems to bring out in us.
My name is Marcus and these are my attempts to document being a parent, friend, co-worker, mastering the perfect 8 iron from +135 yards, and finding love.
Oh...before I close this out today's musical suggestion is a bit old school with Breakout by Swing Out Sister....enjoy
Friday, April 15, 2016
That Moment of Confusion, Worry, and Regret
Friday, April 15/16
Last Saturday was about running some errands and I made my son come along so he could get some extra behind the wheel practise and it also allowed us some time together. I've really come to enjoy the conversations we have as we are driving around or making our way through a shop.
Normally I'd be the one getting groceries on my own and our routine is when I get home he meets me at the door and I hand off a couple of bags of groceries, he puts them on the counter, and meets me back at the door for the next load. Once the car is unloaded I'll sort out things that go somewhere other than the kitchen and he moves them for me.
Now when we got home we went to the trunk and I handed him my house keys and told him to take the case of water in and I'd bring the rest of the bags in like usual. He did as asked but instead of going into the office he stood there with a confused look on his face as I walked up and waited for him to go into the house.
He turned to me and said "Dad, it smells like coffee in the house"
Now since neither of us drinks coffee and we'd been gone for almost two hours that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. Without thinking I dropped the bags and grabbed him and pulled him away from the door and told him to go stand behind the car. I don't know why I reacted that way but for some reason I'll admit to being very afraid at that moment. I slowly walked into the kitchen and he was right, there was a strong smell of coffee in the air, a very fresh smell. I looked over at the counter to check the Tassimo I'd bought back in the fall for when C was staying over as she loves her morning coffee to see if it was on but it wasn't. Neither did I see any cups on the counter or the breakfast nook, yet the scent of coffee was unmistakable. I could hear him getting anxious outside so I poked my head out the door and told him to relax while I checked things out, getting a nod of acceptance and a quick "be careful" in return.
I took my time and checked out each room and then the man cave, basement, and laundry room but couldn't see where the smell was coming from. I went back outside to see my son chatting with our next door neighbour and she asked if everything was ok and I replied I had no clue what caused the smell of coffee to be so strong but there wasn't anybody in the house nor any evidence that could explain it to my satisfaction.
As my son went to get the last bags from the back of the car I asked my neighbour, another person I know whose first name starts with C, if she'd seen anyone at the house while we were gone and she said no, she hadn't seen anyone all morning.
Something about my question or how I asked it made her pause and she looked at me for a moment before asking "You have a feeling about this don't you?"
I did and I didn't but couldn't put my finger on it and just shrugged my shoulders. She shook her head and said that wasn't a good enough answer.....and just looked at me waiting for more information.
I asked my son to sort things out and I'd be in the house in a few minutes. Once I heard him busy opening and closing cupboard doors I turned back to C and said "For a brief moment I thought C might have been here and not finding me or wanting to wait around she left".
Neighbour C squeezed my shoulder and said she wished she could say it happened but as far as she knew there hadn't been anyone around. I thanked her and went inside to finish putting things away.
As I was moving things around I could sense my son standing behind me and without turning around told him I didn't know what made the house smell like coffee but everything was ok. He sort of snorted and replied he wasn't worried about that but more wondered who I thought had been in the house, knowing that only four people have a key to my house: me, him, his sister and C.
He asked me if I thought it was C and I told him for a brief moment I had but I doubted she'd have been there without leaving me a note so while anything is possible I wasn't betting the mortgage money on it. He smiled at me as he reached past me to grab a bottle of cold water and I could hear him softly saying "stranger things have happened pops" as he headed to his room and some serious gaming.
In the span of a few minutes I experienced the gamut of emotions: fear, worry, hope, and regret.
The rest of the day went without any further incidents and it wasn't until dinner that my son broached the subject again when he asked me "what would you have done if she had been here?"
My best answer and the I gave him was that I really don't know. I have days where I'm able to put that out of my life and then those days where literally anything can remind me of my loss.
I know I screwed things up with C that week she was in town for her meetings but upon more thought I don't think that was enough for her to end things with me so I'm once again at that place in life where something was happening with her that I'm party too or fully aware of, something or things that led her to the decision she made.
I guess what I'd like most is to talk face to face to see what happened. We had talked about so many things we hoped to do together and I just don't understand how we go from there to not speaking for going on almost six months now. Yes, it's been six months and I still have feelings for her, strong one's if I'm honest with myself, I mean for me to have been thinking about marriage means there was something more there than just a physical connection as for me the mental is as important as the physical, and she rocked me in both those worlds.
My name is Marcus and I'm not as far along on my road to recovery as I had thought. Guess it's time to rethink my approach to dealing with this whole situation as I've got to get on with my life.
\M
Last Saturday was about running some errands and I made my son come along so he could get some extra behind the wheel practise and it also allowed us some time together. I've really come to enjoy the conversations we have as we are driving around or making our way through a shop.
Normally I'd be the one getting groceries on my own and our routine is when I get home he meets me at the door and I hand off a couple of bags of groceries, he puts them on the counter, and meets me back at the door for the next load. Once the car is unloaded I'll sort out things that go somewhere other than the kitchen and he moves them for me.
Now when we got home we went to the trunk and I handed him my house keys and told him to take the case of water in and I'd bring the rest of the bags in like usual. He did as asked but instead of going into the office he stood there with a confused look on his face as I walked up and waited for him to go into the house.
He turned to me and said "Dad, it smells like coffee in the house"
Now since neither of us drinks coffee and we'd been gone for almost two hours that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. Without thinking I dropped the bags and grabbed him and pulled him away from the door and told him to go stand behind the car. I don't know why I reacted that way but for some reason I'll admit to being very afraid at that moment. I slowly walked into the kitchen and he was right, there was a strong smell of coffee in the air, a very fresh smell. I looked over at the counter to check the Tassimo I'd bought back in the fall for when C was staying over as she loves her morning coffee to see if it was on but it wasn't. Neither did I see any cups on the counter or the breakfast nook, yet the scent of coffee was unmistakable. I could hear him getting anxious outside so I poked my head out the door and told him to relax while I checked things out, getting a nod of acceptance and a quick "be careful" in return.
I took my time and checked out each room and then the man cave, basement, and laundry room but couldn't see where the smell was coming from. I went back outside to see my son chatting with our next door neighbour and she asked if everything was ok and I replied I had no clue what caused the smell of coffee to be so strong but there wasn't anybody in the house nor any evidence that could explain it to my satisfaction.
As my son went to get the last bags from the back of the car I asked my neighbour, another person I know whose first name starts with C, if she'd seen anyone at the house while we were gone and she said no, she hadn't seen anyone all morning.
Something about my question or how I asked it made her pause and she looked at me for a moment before asking "You have a feeling about this don't you?"
I did and I didn't but couldn't put my finger on it and just shrugged my shoulders. She shook her head and said that wasn't a good enough answer.....and just looked at me waiting for more information.
I asked my son to sort things out and I'd be in the house in a few minutes. Once I heard him busy opening and closing cupboard doors I turned back to C and said "For a brief moment I thought C might have been here and not finding me or wanting to wait around she left".
Neighbour C squeezed my shoulder and said she wished she could say it happened but as far as she knew there hadn't been anyone around. I thanked her and went inside to finish putting things away.
As I was moving things around I could sense my son standing behind me and without turning around told him I didn't know what made the house smell like coffee but everything was ok. He sort of snorted and replied he wasn't worried about that but more wondered who I thought had been in the house, knowing that only four people have a key to my house: me, him, his sister and C.
He asked me if I thought it was C and I told him for a brief moment I had but I doubted she'd have been there without leaving me a note so while anything is possible I wasn't betting the mortgage money on it. He smiled at me as he reached past me to grab a bottle of cold water and I could hear him softly saying "stranger things have happened pops" as he headed to his room and some serious gaming.
In the span of a few minutes I experienced the gamut of emotions: fear, worry, hope, and regret.
The rest of the day went without any further incidents and it wasn't until dinner that my son broached the subject again when he asked me "what would you have done if she had been here?"
My best answer and the I gave him was that I really don't know. I have days where I'm able to put that out of my life and then those days where literally anything can remind me of my loss.
I know I screwed things up with C that week she was in town for her meetings but upon more thought I don't think that was enough for her to end things with me so I'm once again at that place in life where something was happening with her that I'm party too or fully aware of, something or things that led her to the decision she made.
I guess what I'd like most is to talk face to face to see what happened. We had talked about so many things we hoped to do together and I just don't understand how we go from there to not speaking for going on almost six months now. Yes, it's been six months and I still have feelings for her, strong one's if I'm honest with myself, I mean for me to have been thinking about marriage means there was something more there than just a physical connection as for me the mental is as important as the physical, and she rocked me in both those worlds.
My name is Marcus and I'm not as far along on my road to recovery as I had thought. Guess it's time to rethink my approach to dealing with this whole situation as I've got to get on with my life.
\M
Thursday, April 14, 2016
Flying High!!!
Thursday, April 14/16
So my inbox has been getting a flood of emails and each one makes me smile.
Some of the subject lines go as follows:
Greensmere Opens Saturday, April 16, 2016
Glen Mar Opening this Friday, April 15, 2016
Dragonfly is now fully open!!!!
Canadian Golf & Country Club will open on Saturday
I'm like a kid on Christmas Eve or one in a candy store with $5 in my pocket!!!!!!
No major plans this weekend so there is a good chance I'll be trying to get a round in at some point. The little voice is suggesting I make the drive to Dragonfly as I've never played there and it's about halfway up the valley and might be in decent shape.
I'm going to swing by Golf Town on my way home tonight as I need to replace my golf glove from last season as I wore a hole in the palm and can't imagine trying to play without one, no blisters for this guy.
I'm waiting to hear that Pakenham is opening and those three gems up the valley way named Pembroke, Roanoke, and Petawawa as they hold a very special place in my heart.
Hopefully my back won't act up and make me have to yell "Fore!"..........
My name is Marcus and I have an addiction. It's golf and I refuse to fight it :)
So my inbox has been getting a flood of emails and each one makes me smile.
Some of the subject lines go as follows:
Greensmere Opens Saturday, April 16, 2016
Glen Mar Opening this Friday, April 15, 2016
Dragonfly is now fully open!!!!
Canadian Golf & Country Club will open on Saturday
I'm like a kid on Christmas Eve or one in a candy store with $5 in my pocket!!!!!!
No major plans this weekend so there is a good chance I'll be trying to get a round in at some point. The little voice is suggesting I make the drive to Dragonfly as I've never played there and it's about halfway up the valley and might be in decent shape.
I'm going to swing by Golf Town on my way home tonight as I need to replace my golf glove from last season as I wore a hole in the palm and can't imagine trying to play without one, no blisters for this guy.
I'm waiting to hear that Pakenham is opening and those three gems up the valley way named Pembroke, Roanoke, and Petawawa as they hold a very special place in my heart.
Hopefully my back won't act up and make me have to yell "Fore!"..........
My name is Marcus and I have an addiction. It's golf and I refuse to fight it :)
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
I am a Hostage.......a fresh perspective
Wednesday, April 13/16
So my last blog raised more than a few eyebrows and caused a hackle or two among the followers.
Good!
No, not good but rather GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is the intent of the blog......to get you the reader to think and feel something.
I don't give a damn what it is you feel but more that you do feel something.
It's so easy to live our lives on a cruise control, almost like an automaton.....and while it might be easy it is also the cheap and easy way out. Never take the cheap and easy way out as in the end it's not really that cheap nor easy....living life has a cost and if you're willing to pay the cost it can be one hell of a ride......better than the old E ticket rides at Disneyland.........so just dated myself there but in for a penny in for a pound
Life in it's fullest is meant to be experienced........for all it's glory and all it's darkness....the good and the bad........sounds almost like a vow........and if you are true to yourself you'll treat life as a committed relationship and give it everything you've got.
Feel passion when you come across something that riles your blood.......express yourself and don't hold back.
******************************************************************************************************************
So now just what the hell do I mean with today's tag line?
I am such a hostage to my kids and got even more proof of that on Sunday.
The morning started off well enough with me taking Moki for a walk and than getting brunch going as my son took a shower. After we ate and I was cleaning up the dishes he came into the kitchen from his room to put a water bottle in the fridge and something seemed a bit off.
I stepped away from the sink and asked him what was wrong?
He turned and leaned into me and started to sob saying he was sorry. My first thought was that something had happened with his girlfriend, my biggest fear right now, and than I heard him say that he'd totally bombed his math test on Friday and wasn't going to pass the course.
For a moment my heart beat moved back closer to normal and than I started to feel anger as that meant he'd known about this test and the results all weekend and held it back from me but before I erupted at him I took a breathe and asked how he knew he failed it if he only took it on Friday.
He told me he'd gone online to his school account and checked as the teacher had posted the results in his students folder. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said he didn't understand as he thought he'd understood the materials and yet he felt lost when he was looking at the test.
We went and sat on the couch and I asked him how hard he'd studied and he admitted that he didn't put the time into it that he should have. I powered up my Mac Book and we reviewed his scores for all the quizzes, assignment, and 3 tests taken to date. The thing I noticed right off the bat was he scored well on the assignments and quizzes but seemed to have issues with the tests themselves.
We talked about what he needed to do moving forward and agreed he'd talk to the teacher at lunch on Monday to ask for more help and we set some new house rules on where and when he would do homework. He went to start his homework and I called his mom and we talked about it for a bit and decided we'd contact Sylvan and get him set up with tutoring right away. I sent his teacher an email asking how bad the situation was and got a response back within the hour telling me my son knew the material but seemed to struggle applying it on tests, that he was more than welcome to come to his class at lunch as he kept additional hours and there was a homework club that meets on Thursday's after school that might be beneficial.
I talked with my son and he said he was going to take advantage of the extra help and get his grade back up as he didn't want to ruin his future. As I turned to walk out of his room he said "Dad' and gave me a hug as he said thank you for not getting mad at him. I hugged him back and told him we all have those moments where we feel like the world is crashing down around us but to always remember he has a support network in his family and while there might be times we can't answer his questions that we have the resources to help him get over almost anything he encounters.
He said he hated to make us do that and I just smiled and said it's what family does and don't ever hesitate to come to us and talk about whatever is going on.
The rest of the day was spent helping him with his homework and I pretty much missed Jordan Speith's epic collapse at the Masters that cost him the defence of his green jacket but my reward was so much more as I was able to reaffirm for my son that talking to me about stuff is always the best course of action and he'll never get in trouble for it. So opposite of how my father dealt with things and makes me happy to know I've been able to break that cycle as I never want my son to be afraid of me like I was of my father.
I didn't sleep well Sunday as I was consumed with a lot of doubt whether my recent decision to take a step back from monitoring his school efforts had resulted in his current situation and whether this was partially on me. My ex called me Monday when I was at work to let me know she'd been able to set him up with tutoring for Monday's and Wednesday's and he would start on Wednesday. Just before she hung up she told me that she knew how my mind worked and this wasn't my fault so don't beat myself up about it, that he has had prior struggles with math and staying disciplined in his efforts, and that this was an opportunity for us to show him the importance of reviewing his materials every single day.
A and I talked about the whole thing over lunch and he said that my son sounds like his oldest son and it must be a teenage boy thing. He said all we can do is show them the right way and hope that they take it to heart.
I am a parent and a hostage to the ups and downs my son experiences, whether it be school or just day to day living.
On a positive note he has embraced the new study rules and told me last night when I got home from work that he'd already done his math homework and reviewed his notes from the chemistry lab and felt much more at ease with things. That coupled with his first tutoring session today has me feeling pretty optimistic about the whole grade eleven math cycle.
My name is Marcus and this blog is my effort to document my daily adventures as a parent, friend, and coworker, My attempt to master the perfect 8 iron from +135 yards, dating, and maybe one day getting another chance with the one.
So my last blog raised more than a few eyebrows and caused a hackle or two among the followers.
Good!
No, not good but rather GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is the intent of the blog......to get you the reader to think and feel something.
I don't give a damn what it is you feel but more that you do feel something.
It's so easy to live our lives on a cruise control, almost like an automaton.....and while it might be easy it is also the cheap and easy way out. Never take the cheap and easy way out as in the end it's not really that cheap nor easy....living life has a cost and if you're willing to pay the cost it can be one hell of a ride......better than the old E ticket rides at Disneyland.........so just dated myself there but in for a penny in for a pound
Life in it's fullest is meant to be experienced........for all it's glory and all it's darkness....the good and the bad........sounds almost like a vow........and if you are true to yourself you'll treat life as a committed relationship and give it everything you've got.
Feel passion when you come across something that riles your blood.......express yourself and don't hold back.
******************************************************************************************************************
So now just what the hell do I mean with today's tag line?
I am such a hostage to my kids and got even more proof of that on Sunday.
The morning started off well enough with me taking Moki for a walk and than getting brunch going as my son took a shower. After we ate and I was cleaning up the dishes he came into the kitchen from his room to put a water bottle in the fridge and something seemed a bit off.
I stepped away from the sink and asked him what was wrong?
He turned and leaned into me and started to sob saying he was sorry. My first thought was that something had happened with his girlfriend, my biggest fear right now, and than I heard him say that he'd totally bombed his math test on Friday and wasn't going to pass the course.
For a moment my heart beat moved back closer to normal and than I started to feel anger as that meant he'd known about this test and the results all weekend and held it back from me but before I erupted at him I took a breathe and asked how he knew he failed it if he only took it on Friday.
He told me he'd gone online to his school account and checked as the teacher had posted the results in his students folder. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said he didn't understand as he thought he'd understood the materials and yet he felt lost when he was looking at the test.
We went and sat on the couch and I asked him how hard he'd studied and he admitted that he didn't put the time into it that he should have. I powered up my Mac Book and we reviewed his scores for all the quizzes, assignment, and 3 tests taken to date. The thing I noticed right off the bat was he scored well on the assignments and quizzes but seemed to have issues with the tests themselves.
We talked about what he needed to do moving forward and agreed he'd talk to the teacher at lunch on Monday to ask for more help and we set some new house rules on where and when he would do homework. He went to start his homework and I called his mom and we talked about it for a bit and decided we'd contact Sylvan and get him set up with tutoring right away. I sent his teacher an email asking how bad the situation was and got a response back within the hour telling me my son knew the material but seemed to struggle applying it on tests, that he was more than welcome to come to his class at lunch as he kept additional hours and there was a homework club that meets on Thursday's after school that might be beneficial.
I talked with my son and he said he was going to take advantage of the extra help and get his grade back up as he didn't want to ruin his future. As I turned to walk out of his room he said "Dad' and gave me a hug as he said thank you for not getting mad at him. I hugged him back and told him we all have those moments where we feel like the world is crashing down around us but to always remember he has a support network in his family and while there might be times we can't answer his questions that we have the resources to help him get over almost anything he encounters.
He said he hated to make us do that and I just smiled and said it's what family does and don't ever hesitate to come to us and talk about whatever is going on.
The rest of the day was spent helping him with his homework and I pretty much missed Jordan Speith's epic collapse at the Masters that cost him the defence of his green jacket but my reward was so much more as I was able to reaffirm for my son that talking to me about stuff is always the best course of action and he'll never get in trouble for it. So opposite of how my father dealt with things and makes me happy to know I've been able to break that cycle as I never want my son to be afraid of me like I was of my father.
I didn't sleep well Sunday as I was consumed with a lot of doubt whether my recent decision to take a step back from monitoring his school efforts had resulted in his current situation and whether this was partially on me. My ex called me Monday when I was at work to let me know she'd been able to set him up with tutoring for Monday's and Wednesday's and he would start on Wednesday. Just before she hung up she told me that she knew how my mind worked and this wasn't my fault so don't beat myself up about it, that he has had prior struggles with math and staying disciplined in his efforts, and that this was an opportunity for us to show him the importance of reviewing his materials every single day.
A and I talked about the whole thing over lunch and he said that my son sounds like his oldest son and it must be a teenage boy thing. He said all we can do is show them the right way and hope that they take it to heart.
I am a parent and a hostage to the ups and downs my son experiences, whether it be school or just day to day living.
On a positive note he has embraced the new study rules and told me last night when I got home from work that he'd already done his math homework and reviewed his notes from the chemistry lab and felt much more at ease with things. That coupled with his first tutoring session today has me feeling pretty optimistic about the whole grade eleven math cycle.
My name is Marcus and this blog is my effort to document my daily adventures as a parent, friend, and coworker, My attempt to master the perfect 8 iron from +135 yards, dating, and maybe one day getting another chance with the one.
Sunday, April 10, 2016
I am a Hostage.........
Saturday, April 09/16
I'm not a hostage in the most literal sense of the word but I am one nonetheless as I am a parent.
I became a hostage on July 5/95 when I made the move to Ottawa and became the co-parent to my wonderful daughter and my situation only got worse when my son made his appearance four years later.
Now I'm sure there are many of you sitting there reading this and wondering how in the world I can even think of using that word to describe my situation, probably some of you thinking I've crossed the line and embraced the dark side as well.
But think about it for a moment and maybe this statement will make a little bit of sense.
Hostages are at the whim of the kidnapper and as a parent not a day goes by where I am not at the mercies of my children. Now I don't mean they do things to harm me, no not in the least as my kids are actually pretty damn good, but hostage I remain nonetheless.
When my son is hurt by the actions of his girlfriend I know about it and feel the pain.
When my daughter gets hurt on the soccer pitch battling for the ball I suffer with her.
When my son struggles through a class and turns to me for help or encouragement the binds become a bit tighter.
I am a hostage to the success and failures each of them go through on a daily basis.
The hormonal and emotional ups and down of a teenager wrap me up like ropes around my arms, demanding my attention lest something happen that catches me off guard.
I'm hostage not just to those effecting my own teenage son but those of his friends as the things they do can and will impact on his own emotions, and even when they don't they can still keep me up worrying.
I don't think my parents worried about me anywhere near as much as my ex and I worry about our kids. I don't mean that to sound like they didn't love me as I know they did, well in the capacity that they were capable of caring I should say, but the trouble I could get in as a teenager is nothing compared to what my daughter faced and now my son faces every single day.
Drinking wasn't a huge issue when I was a teenager and definitely not for me as I was the ultimate straight arrow most of the time. Drugs? not a fucking chance I'd ever have tried any as I just had to think about my cousin Caroline to scare me to death. She was my favourite older cousin and one day her boyfriend convinced her to try crack and she ended up frying her brain and was never the same carefree girl we all loved. Sex, yeah that was an option and I know friends who were making the beast with two backs but I was safe till I was almost in university.
Today I get the joy of knowing that alcohol and drugs are more easily available to the kids my son goes to school with thanks to the lax parenting skills most of them encounter.
Today I have to worry not only about teenage sex but sexting between teens as well.
When I was in high school bullying wasn't an issue and when kids did feel pressure it didn't mean they'd grab a gun and head off to school to take matters into their own hands. Last year my son texted me his school was on lock down due to the rumour that a kid had brought a gun to school to get even with some kids for teasing him. Scariest moments of my life and it wasn't until it was cancelled did I regain my breath.
Facebook, Instagram, Tinder, and Snapchat all scare me to death as these mediums offer the ability to hurt and ruin a persons life without even having to confront them face to face. One momentary act can derail everything a person has worked for in the blink of an eye.
The opportunities available to my son are endless as are the ways he can get hurt. I not only have to consider him when he asks to go someplace but also take into account who he might run into and whether that poses a risk to him.
We were talking this morning about his plans for the weekend and he said he has both math and chemistry homework to do for Monday. I don't remember taking chemistry, business law, or anthropology in high school and yet those are just a sample of the courses he has taken in the last year. I told him I wouldn't trade places with him as the pressures he faces are way more than anything I had to face during my own teenage years.
So now hopefully you better understand my declaration about being a hostage as I really feel like one most days.
What really makes me pause and wonder is thinking about what kind of stuff my own children will worry about when they have kids of their own and all the trials and tribulations they'll go through, possibly dealing with stuff that leaves them feeling hostage to things out of their own control.
My name is Marcus and even though I can't keep my kids locked away from the world in order to protect them from the perils it presents don't kid yourself into thinking I wouldn't if I could......
Oh and btw......."Untouched" by the Australian duo The Veronicas is my musical suggestion for the today.
I'm not a hostage in the most literal sense of the word but I am one nonetheless as I am a parent.
I became a hostage on July 5/95 when I made the move to Ottawa and became the co-parent to my wonderful daughter and my situation only got worse when my son made his appearance four years later.
Now I'm sure there are many of you sitting there reading this and wondering how in the world I can even think of using that word to describe my situation, probably some of you thinking I've crossed the line and embraced the dark side as well.
But think about it for a moment and maybe this statement will make a little bit of sense.
Hostages are at the whim of the kidnapper and as a parent not a day goes by where I am not at the mercies of my children. Now I don't mean they do things to harm me, no not in the least as my kids are actually pretty damn good, but hostage I remain nonetheless.
When my son is hurt by the actions of his girlfriend I know about it and feel the pain.
When my daughter gets hurt on the soccer pitch battling for the ball I suffer with her.
When my son struggles through a class and turns to me for help or encouragement the binds become a bit tighter.
I am a hostage to the success and failures each of them go through on a daily basis.
The hormonal and emotional ups and down of a teenager wrap me up like ropes around my arms, demanding my attention lest something happen that catches me off guard.
I'm hostage not just to those effecting my own teenage son but those of his friends as the things they do can and will impact on his own emotions, and even when they don't they can still keep me up worrying.
I don't think my parents worried about me anywhere near as much as my ex and I worry about our kids. I don't mean that to sound like they didn't love me as I know they did, well in the capacity that they were capable of caring I should say, but the trouble I could get in as a teenager is nothing compared to what my daughter faced and now my son faces every single day.
Drinking wasn't a huge issue when I was a teenager and definitely not for me as I was the ultimate straight arrow most of the time. Drugs? not a fucking chance I'd ever have tried any as I just had to think about my cousin Caroline to scare me to death. She was my favourite older cousin and one day her boyfriend convinced her to try crack and she ended up frying her brain and was never the same carefree girl we all loved. Sex, yeah that was an option and I know friends who were making the beast with two backs but I was safe till I was almost in university.
Today I get the joy of knowing that alcohol and drugs are more easily available to the kids my son goes to school with thanks to the lax parenting skills most of them encounter.
Today I have to worry not only about teenage sex but sexting between teens as well.
When I was in high school bullying wasn't an issue and when kids did feel pressure it didn't mean they'd grab a gun and head off to school to take matters into their own hands. Last year my son texted me his school was on lock down due to the rumour that a kid had brought a gun to school to get even with some kids for teasing him. Scariest moments of my life and it wasn't until it was cancelled did I regain my breath.
Facebook, Instagram, Tinder, and Snapchat all scare me to death as these mediums offer the ability to hurt and ruin a persons life without even having to confront them face to face. One momentary act can derail everything a person has worked for in the blink of an eye.
The opportunities available to my son are endless as are the ways he can get hurt. I not only have to consider him when he asks to go someplace but also take into account who he might run into and whether that poses a risk to him.
We were talking this morning about his plans for the weekend and he said he has both math and chemistry homework to do for Monday. I don't remember taking chemistry, business law, or anthropology in high school and yet those are just a sample of the courses he has taken in the last year. I told him I wouldn't trade places with him as the pressures he faces are way more than anything I had to face during my own teenage years.
So now hopefully you better understand my declaration about being a hostage as I really feel like one most days.
What really makes me pause and wonder is thinking about what kind of stuff my own children will worry about when they have kids of their own and all the trials and tribulations they'll go through, possibly dealing with stuff that leaves them feeling hostage to things out of their own control.
My name is Marcus and even though I can't keep my kids locked away from the world in order to protect them from the perils it presents don't kid yourself into thinking I wouldn't if I could......
Oh and btw......."Untouched" by the Australian duo The Veronicas is my musical suggestion for the today.
Saturday, April 9, 2016
Observation on the Count
Saturday, April 09/16
Tonight's musical suggestion is "2AM" by Bear Hands. A very catchy little tune if I say so myself and I do, like I'd listen if told not to say anything....that's how we roll in this shire :)
Been a week since I posted and not for lack of subject material but rather lack of energy due to being far too busy at work. Hoping that changes as the sale closed and now we are part of something bigger, and hopefully better, least for the next six months on my end :)
Even though I haven't posted anything lately I have been keeping an eye on the blog and was shocked to see the view counter currently sits at 9,761 views..........
I remember the entry I wrote back in the fall when I was around the 6,000 mark and expressed the desire to hit 8K by end of the year, falling just a couple of hundred hits short.
So that means that in the span of a little more than 3 months there have been almost 2K views.
When I figured this out, and yes it meant using all ten fingers and some toes, it blew me away.
Hopefully some of the blogs have made you smile, possibly made you cry, made you think about yourself and the world around us, introduced you to a new artist/song, and more than anything else, I pray one might have given you hope and made you realize you're not alone in this adventure we call life.
Thanks for spending a few moments to read the words and the message in the words.
My name is Marcus and this marks my 324th entry to the blog "Observations of a Single Man" since February 2013. The funny thing is that this blog started on a dating website and probably has closer to 400 entries but I just never put some of the originals up here.
Tonight's musical suggestion is "2AM" by Bear Hands. A very catchy little tune if I say so myself and I do, like I'd listen if told not to say anything....that's how we roll in this shire :)
Been a week since I posted and not for lack of subject material but rather lack of energy due to being far too busy at work. Hoping that changes as the sale closed and now we are part of something bigger, and hopefully better, least for the next six months on my end :)
Even though I haven't posted anything lately I have been keeping an eye on the blog and was shocked to see the view counter currently sits at 9,761 views..........
I remember the entry I wrote back in the fall when I was around the 6,000 mark and expressed the desire to hit 8K by end of the year, falling just a couple of hundred hits short.
So that means that in the span of a little more than 3 months there have been almost 2K views.
When I figured this out, and yes it meant using all ten fingers and some toes, it blew me away.
Hopefully some of the blogs have made you smile, possibly made you cry, made you think about yourself and the world around us, introduced you to a new artist/song, and more than anything else, I pray one might have given you hope and made you realize you're not alone in this adventure we call life.
Thanks for spending a few moments to read the words and the message in the words.
My name is Marcus and this marks my 324th entry to the blog "Observations of a Single Man" since February 2013. The funny thing is that this blog started on a dating website and probably has closer to 400 entries but I just never put some of the originals up here.
Sunday, April 3, 2016
Reminders to the left of me, reminders to the right of me, and now reminders in my email
Sunday, April 03/16
So yesterday's blog was about having one of the those déjà vu moments that was really a series of such moments strung together one after the other, something I've had before and if you think about it a bit probably something you've experienced as well.
Now the interesting part is how they are showing up via my email inbox.
Sounds kind of strange right? I couldn't agree more and here's the 411 on this particular act.
Almost a year ago I was C's plus one to her organizations annual event and it is a really big deal. How big you ask, well think careers can't be made at the event but they can certainly be ruined with the wrong behavior and knowing this upfront I can only say how careful I was with my choice of words and the amount of alcohol I imbibed, as in one drink the entire night.
Part of that was because I hold C and her fellow coworkers in pretty high awe for what they do isn't easy, isn't always appreciated, can be life threatening, and yet they are the first people we call upon when the proverbial shit hit the fan around the world. I honestly sleep better at night knowing there are people like C and her teams looking out for the rest of us.
Because this event is a very big deal it is also quite formal, as in evening gowns and tuxedos. Rather not my ordinary style of attire, for sure not an evening gown as I can never find one that catches my eye colour in just the right way, but I'll be the first to admit that I rather enjoyed wearing a tuxedo and think I wasn't all that bad looking in it. Maybe not James Bond 007 debonair but certainly not as bad as that cartoon character Tennessee Tuxedo from my youth. C was stunning and I have to say I was on my best not to put a hand on her in the wrong way, if you know what I mean and I'm quite confident you do know as most of you are almost as dirty minded as the blogger :)
So none of this explains my déjà vu email moment and maybe I've gotten off track a bit as the memories of that night wander around my head so let me refocus on this entry.......
I don't own a tuxedo, though C joked I might want to think about investing in one seeing as how we'd be attending this event for many years to come, wishful dreams as it turned out (place heavy sigh here), and had to rent one. It was far easier to rent one than I thought and they did all the usual like take my measurements and make notes on my contact information.
Now that last part is the key thing to note............they took my contact information when I paid my deposit.
Late yesterday afternoon I got a nice email reminding me of the event, don't even remember mentioning it during the fitting but guess I did, and that it wasn't too late to come and get my tuxedo for this years occurrence.
I wish I was going as it made me so proud to see how many people knew C and had something nice to say about her, she is very well thought of in her organization, which goes without saying given her level of responsibility but is still nice to hear all the same.
So being the inquisitive person I am I Googled the event to check the date and noticed it was on my free weekend, last year I had to get my son to go to his mom's for the night as I wasn't trusting a teenage boy alone over night in my house lest some hussy take advantage of him :)
It's a great night and I'm sure C and all her coworkers will be staying up to the wee hours as they celebrate another wonderful year. I think I'll raise a toast to her and them on my own as it just seems like the right thing to do.
My name is Marcus and this blog is my way of documenting my efforts to be a good parent, friend, co-worker, attempt to master the perfect 8 iron from +130 yards, re-entering the dating world, and maybe, just maybe, meeting my one and having my last first kiss.
So yesterday's blog was about having one of the those déjà vu moments that was really a series of such moments strung together one after the other, something I've had before and if you think about it a bit probably something you've experienced as well.
Now the interesting part is how they are showing up via my email inbox.
Sounds kind of strange right? I couldn't agree more and here's the 411 on this particular act.
Almost a year ago I was C's plus one to her organizations annual event and it is a really big deal. How big you ask, well think careers can't be made at the event but they can certainly be ruined with the wrong behavior and knowing this upfront I can only say how careful I was with my choice of words and the amount of alcohol I imbibed, as in one drink the entire night.
Part of that was because I hold C and her fellow coworkers in pretty high awe for what they do isn't easy, isn't always appreciated, can be life threatening, and yet they are the first people we call upon when the proverbial shit hit the fan around the world. I honestly sleep better at night knowing there are people like C and her teams looking out for the rest of us.
Because this event is a very big deal it is also quite formal, as in evening gowns and tuxedos. Rather not my ordinary style of attire, for sure not an evening gown as I can never find one that catches my eye colour in just the right way, but I'll be the first to admit that I rather enjoyed wearing a tuxedo and think I wasn't all that bad looking in it. Maybe not James Bond 007 debonair but certainly not as bad as that cartoon character Tennessee Tuxedo from my youth. C was stunning and I have to say I was on my best not to put a hand on her in the wrong way, if you know what I mean and I'm quite confident you do know as most of you are almost as dirty minded as the blogger :)
So none of this explains my déjà vu email moment and maybe I've gotten off track a bit as the memories of that night wander around my head so let me refocus on this entry.......
I don't own a tuxedo, though C joked I might want to think about investing in one seeing as how we'd be attending this event for many years to come, wishful dreams as it turned out (place heavy sigh here), and had to rent one. It was far easier to rent one than I thought and they did all the usual like take my measurements and make notes on my contact information.
Now that last part is the key thing to note............they took my contact information when I paid my deposit.
Late yesterday afternoon I got a nice email reminding me of the event, don't even remember mentioning it during the fitting but guess I did, and that it wasn't too late to come and get my tuxedo for this years occurrence.
I wish I was going as it made me so proud to see how many people knew C and had something nice to say about her, she is very well thought of in her organization, which goes without saying given her level of responsibility but is still nice to hear all the same.
So being the inquisitive person I am I Googled the event to check the date and noticed it was on my free weekend, last year I had to get my son to go to his mom's for the night as I wasn't trusting a teenage boy alone over night in my house lest some hussy take advantage of him :)
It's a great night and I'm sure C and all her coworkers will be staying up to the wee hours as they celebrate another wonderful year. I think I'll raise a toast to her and them on my own as it just seems like the right thing to do.
My name is Marcus and this blog is my way of documenting my efforts to be a good parent, friend, co-worker, attempt to master the perfect 8 iron from +130 yards, re-entering the dating world, and maybe, just maybe, meeting my one and having my last first kiss.
Saturday, April 2, 2016
A Very Deja Vu like Saturday
Saturday, April 02/16
So my day started off with a nice walk with Moki, a shave and very hot shower, and ended with me making some bacon and eggs for breakfast for me and my son before he departed with his mom to start his week with her.
After he left I tidied up the kitchen and than set out to run some errands.
Now there was nothing special about the errands when taken one by one, no, they were pretty run of the mill and I'm sure more than one person made some of the same stops I did today.
What makes them stand out is combination of them and how they are the same ones I used to do last summer when I was up the valley visiting C for the weekend.
Now this isn't going to turn into a rambling trip down the dark paths of my lost love. No, just an observation of how something things in life seem to go on repeat when you don't even know it.
So this was my itinerary today......LCBO for some Somersby to enjoy while I eat a nice steak and watch a movie tonight, Dollar store for some hooks and a new shower liner, The Bulk Barn for something to quell my sweet tooth, Wal Mart for some new bath towels, and finishing up at Loblaws for milk, bread, and the aforementioned steak.
It was while walking from the Bulk Barn to my car to drop off my purchases before heading into Wal Mart that it dawned on me that I'd done this almost same sequence more than a few times last summer, and instead of feeling sad about it, the thought made me smile.
The only differences between than and now would have been me getting up to play golf before we ran these errands and the nocturnal activities we'd have engaged in before falling asleep. Now the first didn't happen for a couple of reasons, primarily because golf courses haven't opened yet and I had to have the son ready for 11:45 this morning. If the last thing happens if will only be in my dreams and I probably shouldn't mention it too much else reader opinions plummet faster than the Liberals breaking election budget promises lol
We've all had moments like that but this was different in that it wasn't just a moment but rather a complete sequence of events that seemed to be followed in the same order as when done last year.
It is a small world and now as random as we'd like to think, least that is my take on it.
Marcus
So my day started off with a nice walk with Moki, a shave and very hot shower, and ended with me making some bacon and eggs for breakfast for me and my son before he departed with his mom to start his week with her.
After he left I tidied up the kitchen and than set out to run some errands.
Now there was nothing special about the errands when taken one by one, no, they were pretty run of the mill and I'm sure more than one person made some of the same stops I did today.
What makes them stand out is combination of them and how they are the same ones I used to do last summer when I was up the valley visiting C for the weekend.
Now this isn't going to turn into a rambling trip down the dark paths of my lost love. No, just an observation of how something things in life seem to go on repeat when you don't even know it.
So this was my itinerary today......LCBO for some Somersby to enjoy while I eat a nice steak and watch a movie tonight, Dollar store for some hooks and a new shower liner, The Bulk Barn for something to quell my sweet tooth, Wal Mart for some new bath towels, and finishing up at Loblaws for milk, bread, and the aforementioned steak.
It was while walking from the Bulk Barn to my car to drop off my purchases before heading into Wal Mart that it dawned on me that I'd done this almost same sequence more than a few times last summer, and instead of feeling sad about it, the thought made me smile.
The only differences between than and now would have been me getting up to play golf before we ran these errands and the nocturnal activities we'd have engaged in before falling asleep. Now the first didn't happen for a couple of reasons, primarily because golf courses haven't opened yet and I had to have the son ready for 11:45 this morning. If the last thing happens if will only be in my dreams and I probably shouldn't mention it too much else reader opinions plummet faster than the Liberals breaking election budget promises lol
We've all had moments like that but this was different in that it wasn't just a moment but rather a complete sequence of events that seemed to be followed in the same order as when done last year.
It is a small world and now as random as we'd like to think, least that is my take on it.
Marcus
Friday, April 1, 2016
April Fools Day
Friday, April 01/16
So with the craziness that was the final week of our company there wasn't any time to plan any good pranks either at work or at home on my son.
Things have been so stressful that I've literally been coming home and falling asleep on the couch as my brain is fried from all the demands being placed on our team.
The sale closed last night at 11:59pm and it is almost like a communication vortex settled over us right afterwards as I went from averaging 40-50 emails and 5-10 calls per day to nothing today.
When I say nothing I am actually not exaggerating as I didn't get a single email or call today when I was at work and I'm not the only one to notice this decrease as several of the team made the same observation. Maybe they just took pity on us and were too busy reviewing the final sale documents and it will resume on Tuesday, we're offsite on Monday doing our new employee orientation and onboarding, and I'll kick myself in the ass for tempting fate by mentioning all of this lol
So I'm wondering what kind of pranks you pulled or had pulled on you today?
My night was a movie and pizza with my son as he's staying with me tonight while his mom attends the Garth Brooks concert and has people staying overnight at her place. We watched "San Andreas" and I have to admit it made me think of California but didn't have me wishing I was there in the least.
More posts to come over the weekend so stay tuned :)
Marcus
So with the craziness that was the final week of our company there wasn't any time to plan any good pranks either at work or at home on my son.
Things have been so stressful that I've literally been coming home and falling asleep on the couch as my brain is fried from all the demands being placed on our team.
The sale closed last night at 11:59pm and it is almost like a communication vortex settled over us right afterwards as I went from averaging 40-50 emails and 5-10 calls per day to nothing today.
When I say nothing I am actually not exaggerating as I didn't get a single email or call today when I was at work and I'm not the only one to notice this decrease as several of the team made the same observation. Maybe they just took pity on us and were too busy reviewing the final sale documents and it will resume on Tuesday, we're offsite on Monday doing our new employee orientation and onboarding, and I'll kick myself in the ass for tempting fate by mentioning all of this lol
So I'm wondering what kind of pranks you pulled or had pulled on you today?
My night was a movie and pizza with my son as he's staying with me tonight while his mom attends the Garth Brooks concert and has people staying overnight at her place. We watched "San Andreas" and I have to admit it made me think of California but didn't have me wishing I was there in the least.
More posts to come over the weekend so stay tuned :)
Marcus
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