Wednesday, April 13/16
So my last blog raised more than a few eyebrows and caused a hackle or two among the followers.
Good!
No, not good but rather GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is the intent of the blog......to get you the reader to think and feel something.
I don't give a damn what it is you feel but more that you do feel something.
It's so easy to live our lives on a cruise control, almost like an automaton.....and while it might be easy it is also the cheap and easy way out. Never take the cheap and easy way out as in the end it's not really that cheap nor easy....living life has a cost and if you're willing to pay the cost it can be one hell of a ride......better than the old E ticket rides at Disneyland.........so just dated myself there but in for a penny in for a pound
Life in it's fullest is meant to be experienced........for all it's glory and all it's darkness....the good and the bad........sounds almost like a vow........and if you are true to yourself you'll treat life as a committed relationship and give it everything you've got.
Feel passion when you come across something that riles your blood.......express yourself and don't hold back.
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So now just what the hell do I mean with today's tag line?
I am such a hostage to my kids and got even more proof of that on Sunday.
The morning started off well enough with me taking Moki for a walk and than getting brunch going as my son took a shower. After we ate and I was cleaning up the dishes he came into the kitchen from his room to put a water bottle in the fridge and something seemed a bit off.
I stepped away from the sink and asked him what was wrong?
He turned and leaned into me and started to sob saying he was sorry. My first thought was that something had happened with his girlfriend, my biggest fear right now, and than I heard him say that he'd totally bombed his math test on Friday and wasn't going to pass the course.
For a moment my heart beat moved back closer to normal and than I started to feel anger as that meant he'd known about this test and the results all weekend and held it back from me but before I erupted at him I took a breathe and asked how he knew he failed it if he only took it on Friday.
He told me he'd gone online to his school account and checked as the teacher had posted the results in his students folder. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said he didn't understand as he thought he'd understood the materials and yet he felt lost when he was looking at the test.
We went and sat on the couch and I asked him how hard he'd studied and he admitted that he didn't put the time into it that he should have. I powered up my Mac Book and we reviewed his scores for all the quizzes, assignment, and 3 tests taken to date. The thing I noticed right off the bat was he scored well on the assignments and quizzes but seemed to have issues with the tests themselves.
We talked about what he needed to do moving forward and agreed he'd talk to the teacher at lunch on Monday to ask for more help and we set some new house rules on where and when he would do homework. He went to start his homework and I called his mom and we talked about it for a bit and decided we'd contact Sylvan and get him set up with tutoring right away. I sent his teacher an email asking how bad the situation was and got a response back within the hour telling me my son knew the material but seemed to struggle applying it on tests, that he was more than welcome to come to his class at lunch as he kept additional hours and there was a homework club that meets on Thursday's after school that might be beneficial.
I talked with my son and he said he was going to take advantage of the extra help and get his grade back up as he didn't want to ruin his future. As I turned to walk out of his room he said "Dad' and gave me a hug as he said thank you for not getting mad at him. I hugged him back and told him we all have those moments where we feel like the world is crashing down around us but to always remember he has a support network in his family and while there might be times we can't answer his questions that we have the resources to help him get over almost anything he encounters.
He said he hated to make us do that and I just smiled and said it's what family does and don't ever hesitate to come to us and talk about whatever is going on.
The rest of the day was spent helping him with his homework and I pretty much missed Jordan Speith's epic collapse at the Masters that cost him the defence of his green jacket but my reward was so much more as I was able to reaffirm for my son that talking to me about stuff is always the best course of action and he'll never get in trouble for it. So opposite of how my father dealt with things and makes me happy to know I've been able to break that cycle as I never want my son to be afraid of me like I was of my father.
I didn't sleep well Sunday as I was consumed with a lot of doubt whether my recent decision to take a step back from monitoring his school efforts had resulted in his current situation and whether this was partially on me. My ex called me Monday when I was at work to let me know she'd been able to set him up with tutoring for Monday's and Wednesday's and he would start on Wednesday. Just before she hung up she told me that she knew how my mind worked and this wasn't my fault so don't beat myself up about it, that he has had prior struggles with math and staying disciplined in his efforts, and that this was an opportunity for us to show him the importance of reviewing his materials every single day.
A and I talked about the whole thing over lunch and he said that my son sounds like his oldest son and it must be a teenage boy thing. He said all we can do is show them the right way and hope that they take it to heart.
I am a parent and a hostage to the ups and downs my son experiences, whether it be school or just day to day living.
On a positive note he has embraced the new study rules and told me last night when I got home from work that he'd already done his math homework and reviewed his notes from the chemistry lab and felt much more at ease with things. That coupled with his first tutoring session today has me feeling pretty optimistic about the whole grade eleven math cycle.
My name is Marcus and this blog is my effort to document my daily adventures as a parent, friend, and coworker, My attempt to master the perfect 8 iron from +135 yards, dating, and maybe one day getting another chance with the one.
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