December 31, 2017
Just wanted to take a moment to wish each of you a very Happy New Year's and hope 2018 brings you peace, joy, prosperity, and maybe even love :-)
I'm spending the day taking care of my sick son as it seems he has come down with a cold and than heading over to my daughters to babysit my adorable grandson Baby Jack as she attends a wedding with her fiance.
2017 has been an interesting year for me to say the least.
I've gotten to watch my grandson develop into this adorable little baby boy who loves to smile, laugh, get thrown into the air, and explore the world around him. Much better than he was just a little lump that ate, slept, and pooped. Now if I can just get him to start talking to me it would be cake, and i love me some good cake lol
My son went to Europe on a class trip for his senior year, he graduated high school with merit, and started university. To call me a proud father would be an understatement. I think I'm enjoying his first year at university more than I enjoyed my own lol
My daughter continues to make me smile every time I see her dealing with her son. The love she has for her little boy is beyond description. She has truly developed into a fine woman in her own right and both her mother and I take great pride in the lady she has become.
Work has been interesting in that at the early part of the year I was totally throwing myself into it and doing crazy hours but over the course of the summer I reigned it in and started to live my life as I should have all along: work to live and not live to work.
The dating front has been a mixed bag and that is all on me as I never really got my groove on and put myself out there till towards the end of summer, start of fall. Now I've put it on hold once again as getting involved with anyone at this point seems kind of senseless.
Health wise things started out fantastic with my high blood pressure being so under control and my A1C1 staying in the positive range and keeping me off any new medications. Of course as recent blog postings have come to show, not all is well in Marcusville........
I'm not going to rehash the recent events as they are all in prior posts other than to say I'm not going to let them define who I am or the path I'm going to take.
I used to have the following in my closing of every posting...."master the 35 yards wedge over a bunker" or some variety and I did master that shot this past summer......so now my new tag line is kick the tumors ass and live to be that old man who annoys people with "when I was younger........"
So here is hoping you raise a glass tonight of your favourite beverage to the New Year with someone near and dear to your heart and 2018 brings you nothing but good tidings.
My name is Marcus and 2017 was an interesting year and I'm planning on making 2018 even better between watching my kids and grandson grow up, to hitting the mid 80's consistently, to making cancer tap out in a submission hold, to maybe even meeting the perfectly imperfect one for me with whom I share my last first kiss. It's a new year so anything is possible!!!
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Friday, December 29, 2017
Thursday Brought Some Confusion, Nerves, a Laugh, And The Bombshell
Friday, December 29/17
I think to say yesterday was a filled with a variety of emotions for me would be putting it mildly.
Wednesday night was one of the most anxious nights of my life and sleep hardly came to me at all, and when it did it was in short 10-15 minute sequences. I've noticed that Moki has become very clingy the last few days, almost as if she sensed my unease and was trying her best to show me some love and bring a sense of calmness to me.
Thursday morning I awoke to one of the coldest days in recorded history for Ottawa with a high of minus 21 and low of minus 27. The kicker was the windchill which made it feel like -37!!! Kind of not the way I wanted the day to start off.
The instructions I had were to be at the Queensway Carleton Hospital for 8:00 am to get some blood work done, the fourth round in the last month, and then be upstairs at the Endo-Cysto Clinic for 9:00 am and the planned procedure. All of that sounds pretty simple and easy to do right?
Well I arrived on time and went down to diagnostics to check in for the blood work and am asked if I have a requisition for them. Nope, tell them everything was arranged by the specialists office and I've not even met the doctor yet. This is met with some confusion and frowns and they call his office only to learn that all the requisitions are up in the Endo-Cysto Clinic so we have to wait for them to be run down. Once they arrive it's noted that only one vial is needed, this again resulting in some some strange faces that lead them to tell me it's odd to only draw one vial and not the usual 2-3 for testing. The blood letting complete I head upstairs to the clinic.
Upon arriving I'm given a batch of paperwork to complete, shown where to change into a gown, lockers for my clothes, and the waiting room with the notice that a nurse will come get me shortly.
I get changed and head into the waiting room to find 3 other people waiting before me. I smiled and said hello before checking my emails on my iPhone, which I was told I could actually bring with me. As I'm checking them out I listen to the conversation around me and learn that my doctors name is coming up quite a bit, all in a good way that makes me feel a little less apprehensive.
Things are slow as it sounds like he was called into the OR for a consult and thus causing a bit of a backlog with his own schedule. Take your time doc is all I can think to myself.
Soon the door opens and this young nurse calls my name and leads me down the hallway to a day surgery room for the procedure. As we are walking into the room she confirms my identity and what I'm here for today. First is easy and the second I have to admit I'm not entirely sure and explain the sequence of events as I know them. Another frown as she is looking at my chart, now I'm getting a little frazzled with all the frowns and lack of knowledge as to my reason for being there. She has me lay down on the examining table and tells me to try and relax as they sort things out. So I've got to say that is probably the last thing to tell someone when you've pretty much just admitted you have no fucking clue why they are there in the first place. Now I try and be as fair as possible and know it's not her fault and apologize if I seem upset, how Canadian of me, this elicits a smile and she tells me no problem.
As I'm laying there another nurse comes in and they are chatting very quietly as they go over my chart in fine detail, way more quieter than I think is normal so of course my skin begins to crawl and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, thinking to myself I wonder what my blood pressure is at right that moment, probably off the charts.
They finish chatting and the older nurse, as in her mid 30's probably, begins to set up an IV stand with some saline solutions and the younger nurse, think along the lines of late 20's comes over to tell me to pull my surgical pants down past my knees and the gown up past my waist as she is going to apply some iodine to my nether regions and it might feel cold and kind of greasy.
I burst out laughing and both look at me like I'm losing it so I smile and say this wasn't how I envisioned being touched after a two year hiatus. The younger one looks at the older one and than down at me and says "really, it's been two years?" I smiled at her and said it's not the end of the world just not how I saw this streak ending.
As I'm saying that I hear a male voice from out of my view ask what streak and the nurses tell the doctor about my streak. He smiles at me and laughingly says not only is it ending with his nurse but also with himself as he makes sure I have all the right equipment. Talk about an ice breaker lol
He grabs my chart and comes to sit on a chair next to the table and says "So refresh me why you are here as there is a little bit of confusion this morning and I want to understand things better"
So I tell him about my high blood pressure and how because of my age my doctor gets blood work and urine drawn every 6 months to monitor my A1C1 and cholesterol, how the work down back in April showed some trace amounts of blood in my urine and than again back in October, so she decided to have an ultra sound down just to make sure things were ok. I explained the ultrasound came back showing a black spot on my bladder that resulted in my referral to see him. That his office called me back in mid December to set up a meeting with him to review the ultrasound and now it seems like somehow I'm being prepped for a procedure.
As I was saying all of this he was reading my charts and looking at the ultrasound. When I finished he put everything down and told me that because of my age and ethnicity that I was more likely to have potential problems and thus the reason my doctor was being more aggressive than usual in her approach to the results.
So he outlined what was going to happen and told me he was going to make sure we got answers.
Now what he did was pretty much place a micro thin diagnostic camera up my urethra, very medical term for penis, and into my bladder so he could fill it with saline and see what this spot was that showed up on my ultrasound. Now I've never given birth and probably never will but I'd venture to say that this as close to the feeling that I'm going to get. Uncomfortable doesn't even begin to describe the feeling I had during the exam.
They spun a monitor around so I was able to see exactly what he was seeing and before long this little lump of what looked like crystals came into view. At this point I was still holding out hope for polyps but knew at that moment my hopes were in vain. The next words he told me confirmed my worst fears...."You have a tumor"
He slowly withdrew the probe and told me once I got cleaned up and changed he'd meet with me to discuss the findings and our next steps. But wait it gets even better as at the last moment he decided to check my prostrate and now I could feel even more violated.........
The nurse walked me back to the change room, handing me a prescription for an antibiotic related to the procedure, and explained I might feel a little discomfort over the next 24-48 hours urinating. Well she was fucking right with that last statement as it feels like I'm trying to pass a string of barbed wire.
I met the doctor in the conference room where he drew me a diagram of my kidneys, tubes, and bladder, explaining the inter-connectivity of everything. He said that normally they'd have scraped the tumor off my bladder wall and had it sent to pathology to determine if it is benign or malignant but because of my age he wanted to get a CT scan done of my kidneys and bladder and that doing anything to my bladder right now might distort the readings so he was going to wait till the CT scan was completed.
He said that there is no way to know the status of the tumor without doing the pathology but that because it was caught so early he was confident we could treat it and I'll make a full recovery, though he did temper that by saying nothing was 100% certain.
He told me that no matter what the CT scan reveals that I will be having surgery to remove the tumor and then be on medicine to help combat any recurrences. The surgery should be a day procedure but it could entail an overnight stay depending on how things turn out. The last part is a bit of a blur as all I could do is think about my kids and Baby Jack - I'm nowhere near ready to give up on seeing them grow up and told the doctor that whatever it takes to make sure I'm around I'm 100% behind.
I explained about my daughter getting married and asked if the surgery could wait until after we return from Mexico and he said that barring anything drastic showing up on the CT scan he would make sure it wasn't scheduled until after the 21st and told me to enjoy me to enjoy the moments as they come.
I drove home and poured myself a very stiff drink and just sat there and let the tears come.
My poor dog had no clue what was going on so she curled up in my lap and laid her head on my stomach and looked up at me with her puppy dog eyes, which of course touched off more tears from me.
After a little while I called my ex and broke the news to her as it does impact her through the kids. She was really quiet and I thought for a moment she had hung up before I heard her sigh and exclaim "Fuck Cancer! we're beating this"
We talked for a bit and she told me not to hesitate to ask for help as I'm not in this alone.
I told her that I'm still not going to tell the kids till after we get back from Mexico and still might put it off until after I have the surgery and know the results of the pathology. She said it's my call but I should expect some anger from them when they do find out that I held off telling them but she completely agrees with my decision as both of them would be far too worried about me than to think about the wedding or university.
The good thing is that I know my daughter will have a strong shoulder to lean on when the news does come out and my son will do his best to make me laugh and entertain me with tonnes of soccer trivia.
Last night was pretty fucking awful as my mood swung back and forth from thinking the worst to hoping for the best, mixed in with anger and tears, way more than I thought possible. I didn't give into the anger and am glad to say there are no holes in any of the walls or doors.
I woke up this morning feeling really nothing inside, mostly just burned at both ends, but have been making myself clean up the Xmas decorations and take down the tree, not because of yesterday as it was always my plan to clean up today but now it's serving to help keep me busy.
So while I had sort of put things on hold pending yesterday it seems like I've got to continue with that approach as changing jobs would be stupid given my awesome insurance coverage and dating would be unfair as my mind is so not going to be into meeting anyone let alone open to talking about life.
My name is Marcus and all I've got to say is I have a new motto and it's "FUCK CANCER!!!!
I debated if a musical suggestion was in order today and my new motto sort of led me to this one "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey
I think to say yesterday was a filled with a variety of emotions for me would be putting it mildly.
Wednesday night was one of the most anxious nights of my life and sleep hardly came to me at all, and when it did it was in short 10-15 minute sequences. I've noticed that Moki has become very clingy the last few days, almost as if she sensed my unease and was trying her best to show me some love and bring a sense of calmness to me.
Thursday morning I awoke to one of the coldest days in recorded history for Ottawa with a high of minus 21 and low of minus 27. The kicker was the windchill which made it feel like -37!!! Kind of not the way I wanted the day to start off.
The instructions I had were to be at the Queensway Carleton Hospital for 8:00 am to get some blood work done, the fourth round in the last month, and then be upstairs at the Endo-Cysto Clinic for 9:00 am and the planned procedure. All of that sounds pretty simple and easy to do right?
Well I arrived on time and went down to diagnostics to check in for the blood work and am asked if I have a requisition for them. Nope, tell them everything was arranged by the specialists office and I've not even met the doctor yet. This is met with some confusion and frowns and they call his office only to learn that all the requisitions are up in the Endo-Cysto Clinic so we have to wait for them to be run down. Once they arrive it's noted that only one vial is needed, this again resulting in some some strange faces that lead them to tell me it's odd to only draw one vial and not the usual 2-3 for testing. The blood letting complete I head upstairs to the clinic.
Upon arriving I'm given a batch of paperwork to complete, shown where to change into a gown, lockers for my clothes, and the waiting room with the notice that a nurse will come get me shortly.
I get changed and head into the waiting room to find 3 other people waiting before me. I smiled and said hello before checking my emails on my iPhone, which I was told I could actually bring with me. As I'm checking them out I listen to the conversation around me and learn that my doctors name is coming up quite a bit, all in a good way that makes me feel a little less apprehensive.
Things are slow as it sounds like he was called into the OR for a consult and thus causing a bit of a backlog with his own schedule. Take your time doc is all I can think to myself.
Soon the door opens and this young nurse calls my name and leads me down the hallway to a day surgery room for the procedure. As we are walking into the room she confirms my identity and what I'm here for today. First is easy and the second I have to admit I'm not entirely sure and explain the sequence of events as I know them. Another frown as she is looking at my chart, now I'm getting a little frazzled with all the frowns and lack of knowledge as to my reason for being there. She has me lay down on the examining table and tells me to try and relax as they sort things out. So I've got to say that is probably the last thing to tell someone when you've pretty much just admitted you have no fucking clue why they are there in the first place. Now I try and be as fair as possible and know it's not her fault and apologize if I seem upset, how Canadian of me, this elicits a smile and she tells me no problem.
As I'm laying there another nurse comes in and they are chatting very quietly as they go over my chart in fine detail, way more quieter than I think is normal so of course my skin begins to crawl and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, thinking to myself I wonder what my blood pressure is at right that moment, probably off the charts.
They finish chatting and the older nurse, as in her mid 30's probably, begins to set up an IV stand with some saline solutions and the younger nurse, think along the lines of late 20's comes over to tell me to pull my surgical pants down past my knees and the gown up past my waist as she is going to apply some iodine to my nether regions and it might feel cold and kind of greasy.
I burst out laughing and both look at me like I'm losing it so I smile and say this wasn't how I envisioned being touched after a two year hiatus. The younger one looks at the older one and than down at me and says "really, it's been two years?" I smiled at her and said it's not the end of the world just not how I saw this streak ending.
As I'm saying that I hear a male voice from out of my view ask what streak and the nurses tell the doctor about my streak. He smiles at me and laughingly says not only is it ending with his nurse but also with himself as he makes sure I have all the right equipment. Talk about an ice breaker lol
He grabs my chart and comes to sit on a chair next to the table and says "So refresh me why you are here as there is a little bit of confusion this morning and I want to understand things better"
So I tell him about my high blood pressure and how because of my age my doctor gets blood work and urine drawn every 6 months to monitor my A1C1 and cholesterol, how the work down back in April showed some trace amounts of blood in my urine and than again back in October, so she decided to have an ultra sound down just to make sure things were ok. I explained the ultrasound came back showing a black spot on my bladder that resulted in my referral to see him. That his office called me back in mid December to set up a meeting with him to review the ultrasound and now it seems like somehow I'm being prepped for a procedure.
As I was saying all of this he was reading my charts and looking at the ultrasound. When I finished he put everything down and told me that because of my age and ethnicity that I was more likely to have potential problems and thus the reason my doctor was being more aggressive than usual in her approach to the results.
So he outlined what was going to happen and told me he was going to make sure we got answers.
Now what he did was pretty much place a micro thin diagnostic camera up my urethra, very medical term for penis, and into my bladder so he could fill it with saline and see what this spot was that showed up on my ultrasound. Now I've never given birth and probably never will but I'd venture to say that this as close to the feeling that I'm going to get. Uncomfortable doesn't even begin to describe the feeling I had during the exam.
They spun a monitor around so I was able to see exactly what he was seeing and before long this little lump of what looked like crystals came into view. At this point I was still holding out hope for polyps but knew at that moment my hopes were in vain. The next words he told me confirmed my worst fears...."You have a tumor"
He slowly withdrew the probe and told me once I got cleaned up and changed he'd meet with me to discuss the findings and our next steps. But wait it gets even better as at the last moment he decided to check my prostrate and now I could feel even more violated.........
The nurse walked me back to the change room, handing me a prescription for an antibiotic related to the procedure, and explained I might feel a little discomfort over the next 24-48 hours urinating. Well she was fucking right with that last statement as it feels like I'm trying to pass a string of barbed wire.
I met the doctor in the conference room where he drew me a diagram of my kidneys, tubes, and bladder, explaining the inter-connectivity of everything. He said that normally they'd have scraped the tumor off my bladder wall and had it sent to pathology to determine if it is benign or malignant but because of my age he wanted to get a CT scan done of my kidneys and bladder and that doing anything to my bladder right now might distort the readings so he was going to wait till the CT scan was completed.
He said that there is no way to know the status of the tumor without doing the pathology but that because it was caught so early he was confident we could treat it and I'll make a full recovery, though he did temper that by saying nothing was 100% certain.
He told me that no matter what the CT scan reveals that I will be having surgery to remove the tumor and then be on medicine to help combat any recurrences. The surgery should be a day procedure but it could entail an overnight stay depending on how things turn out. The last part is a bit of a blur as all I could do is think about my kids and Baby Jack - I'm nowhere near ready to give up on seeing them grow up and told the doctor that whatever it takes to make sure I'm around I'm 100% behind.
I explained about my daughter getting married and asked if the surgery could wait until after we return from Mexico and he said that barring anything drastic showing up on the CT scan he would make sure it wasn't scheduled until after the 21st and told me to enjoy me to enjoy the moments as they come.
I drove home and poured myself a very stiff drink and just sat there and let the tears come.
My poor dog had no clue what was going on so she curled up in my lap and laid her head on my stomach and looked up at me with her puppy dog eyes, which of course touched off more tears from me.
After a little while I called my ex and broke the news to her as it does impact her through the kids. She was really quiet and I thought for a moment she had hung up before I heard her sigh and exclaim "Fuck Cancer! we're beating this"
We talked for a bit and she told me not to hesitate to ask for help as I'm not in this alone.
I told her that I'm still not going to tell the kids till after we get back from Mexico and still might put it off until after I have the surgery and know the results of the pathology. She said it's my call but I should expect some anger from them when they do find out that I held off telling them but she completely agrees with my decision as both of them would be far too worried about me than to think about the wedding or university.
The good thing is that I know my daughter will have a strong shoulder to lean on when the news does come out and my son will do his best to make me laugh and entertain me with tonnes of soccer trivia.
Last night was pretty fucking awful as my mood swung back and forth from thinking the worst to hoping for the best, mixed in with anger and tears, way more than I thought possible. I didn't give into the anger and am glad to say there are no holes in any of the walls or doors.
I woke up this morning feeling really nothing inside, mostly just burned at both ends, but have been making myself clean up the Xmas decorations and take down the tree, not because of yesterday as it was always my plan to clean up today but now it's serving to help keep me busy.
So while I had sort of put things on hold pending yesterday it seems like I've got to continue with that approach as changing jobs would be stupid given my awesome insurance coverage and dating would be unfair as my mind is so not going to be into meeting anyone let alone open to talking about life.
My name is Marcus and all I've got to say is I have a new motto and it's "FUCK CANCER!!!!
I debated if a musical suggestion was in order today and my new motto sort of led me to this one "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey
Christmas 2017
Friday, December 29/17
So first things first, I hope every one had a great Christmas, that Santa spoiled you, and the time spent with family and friends brought you peace and tranquility.
My own was pretty good as it started out with the 9 pm Christmas Eve Mass at St. Patrick's in Fallowfield. The original plan was to do the midnight mass but both my son and I came to the conclusion that neither of us would probably last that long so we adjusted things lol
Christmas day itself was perfect as my daughter, her fiance, and my most amazing grandson Baby Jack hit my place for 8:30 am and the mayhem commenced right away. Baby Jack is at that stage where he wants to walk all the time and squeal with delight, except when he see's his uncle and than he has to be carried around by my son. The sight is something that makes anyone watching break into a huge smile. The love those two have for one another makes my heart grow 2 sizes bigger, to steal a line from the master wordsmith himself, Dr. Seuss.
Baby Jack was more interested in the ornaments on the tree and climbing the stairs than he was in his presents. Moki was more interested in Baby Jack than she was in her own present, a new stuffed toy that she can baby at first and eventually tear apart lol
My daughter got me some stuff for Mexico in the form or a new golf shirt and some books for the flight, my son got me a new Carleton University pullover that is perfect for wearing to work, and Baby Jack gave me hugs and kisses whenever I caught him heading for the stairs, thinking these would distract me from getting mad at him, little bugger seems to understand his grandpa way too well and my future son-in-law laughed each time and just told me I was in trouble.
After the kids left I tidied up before heading over to my daughters for the family dinner. This included my ex, her partner, my former mother-in-law, former sister-in-law, and my nephew.
Big hugs all around and my mother-in-law baked me my own sugar pie to take home. She always knows just how to make me smile and I'm so glad my relationship with her is a good one, hell I'm on good terms with all of my ex's family and still consider them my family.
Dinner was turkey, mashed potatoes, and veggies. Perfect meal to end a perfect day.
I ended my day with a glass of Pinot Grigio sitting on the couch at home with Moki snuggled up next to me as we watched the snow falling outside the front window, glistening in the light every now and than, and wished my mom a happy birthday and knew she was smiling down at me with the joy of the holiday season and love for her son, grandchildren, and first great grandchild.
My name is Marcus and my goal was to make the most of this holiday as the future isn't as clear as it was just a few months ago. I'm glad to say mission accomplished as it was one of the best ever.
Today's musical suggestion is one of my favourite from Trans Siberian Orchestra "Carol of the Bells"
Here is the link to a kind of cool video put up by TSO for "Carol Of The Bells" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9wD5qnq_eo
So first things first, I hope every one had a great Christmas, that Santa spoiled you, and the time spent with family and friends brought you peace and tranquility.
My own was pretty good as it started out with the 9 pm Christmas Eve Mass at St. Patrick's in Fallowfield. The original plan was to do the midnight mass but both my son and I came to the conclusion that neither of us would probably last that long so we adjusted things lol
Christmas day itself was perfect as my daughter, her fiance, and my most amazing grandson Baby Jack hit my place for 8:30 am and the mayhem commenced right away. Baby Jack is at that stage where he wants to walk all the time and squeal with delight, except when he see's his uncle and than he has to be carried around by my son. The sight is something that makes anyone watching break into a huge smile. The love those two have for one another makes my heart grow 2 sizes bigger, to steal a line from the master wordsmith himself, Dr. Seuss.
Baby Jack was more interested in the ornaments on the tree and climbing the stairs than he was in his presents. Moki was more interested in Baby Jack than she was in her own present, a new stuffed toy that she can baby at first and eventually tear apart lol
My daughter got me some stuff for Mexico in the form or a new golf shirt and some books for the flight, my son got me a new Carleton University pullover that is perfect for wearing to work, and Baby Jack gave me hugs and kisses whenever I caught him heading for the stairs, thinking these would distract me from getting mad at him, little bugger seems to understand his grandpa way too well and my future son-in-law laughed each time and just told me I was in trouble.
After the kids left I tidied up before heading over to my daughters for the family dinner. This included my ex, her partner, my former mother-in-law, former sister-in-law, and my nephew.
Big hugs all around and my mother-in-law baked me my own sugar pie to take home. She always knows just how to make me smile and I'm so glad my relationship with her is a good one, hell I'm on good terms with all of my ex's family and still consider them my family.
Dinner was turkey, mashed potatoes, and veggies. Perfect meal to end a perfect day.
I ended my day with a glass of Pinot Grigio sitting on the couch at home with Moki snuggled up next to me as we watched the snow falling outside the front window, glistening in the light every now and than, and wished my mom a happy birthday and knew she was smiling down at me with the joy of the holiday season and love for her son, grandchildren, and first great grandchild.
My name is Marcus and my goal was to make the most of this holiday as the future isn't as clear as it was just a few months ago. I'm glad to say mission accomplished as it was one of the best ever.
Today's musical suggestion is one of my favourite from Trans Siberian Orchestra "Carol of the Bells"
Here is the link to a kind of cool video put up by TSO for "Carol Of The Bells" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9wD5qnq_eo
Sunday, December 24, 2017
Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday's!!!!!
Sunday, December 24/17
I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and the Happiest of Holiday's.
Hopefully you are surrounded by family and friends, sharing the joys that this season brings, putting aside the daily grind and able to enjoy time with those close to you.
My son is over for the night and we'll be attending midnight mass at St. Patrick's as we've done each Christmas Eve he has been with me for the last several years.
My daughter, future son-in-law, and Baby Jack will be coming over bright and early to open gifts and have a hearty breakfast before heading back to her place for the same festivities with her mom and grandmother.
I used to dread this time of year for a variety of reasons as the short dark days play havoc with my emotions and the fact that tomorrow is my mom's birthday always left me feeling a bit empty inside.
That changed a few years ago and I've been able to really enjoy the season more and more each year, especially last year with the arrival of Baby Jack. The little man is now walking and tomorrow should be so much fun watching his reaction to opening presents and sharing smiles, laughs, and some teary moments.
I've had some down moments this week preparing for this Christmas as that cloud of uncertainty continues to hang over my head and will be there until Thursday at the least. I've had some issues with sleeping so when it hits I've been using those times to write some notes to my children and Baby Jack just so they know how much they are loved.
Not telling them what is going on has been the easiest decision I've had to make in a long time and also the hardest as it goes against everything I've tried to teach them about being open and sharing what is happening in our lives. How does that saying go....Do as I say, not as I do......Mea Culpa
I'm working on a year in review blog entry and hope to have it posted before the 31st as well as couple of others I had started before the proverbial crap it the fan a few weeks back.
Regardless of how things are going, I wish each of you peace and joy this holiday season and all the ones to come.
My name is Marcus and my Xmas wish list is pretty simple......positive results on Thursday and bumping into the imperfectly perfect one for me...........it's that time of year so anything is possible
I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and the Happiest of Holiday's.
Hopefully you are surrounded by family and friends, sharing the joys that this season brings, putting aside the daily grind and able to enjoy time with those close to you.
My son is over for the night and we'll be attending midnight mass at St. Patrick's as we've done each Christmas Eve he has been with me for the last several years.
My daughter, future son-in-law, and Baby Jack will be coming over bright and early to open gifts and have a hearty breakfast before heading back to her place for the same festivities with her mom and grandmother.
I used to dread this time of year for a variety of reasons as the short dark days play havoc with my emotions and the fact that tomorrow is my mom's birthday always left me feeling a bit empty inside.
That changed a few years ago and I've been able to really enjoy the season more and more each year, especially last year with the arrival of Baby Jack. The little man is now walking and tomorrow should be so much fun watching his reaction to opening presents and sharing smiles, laughs, and some teary moments.
I've had some down moments this week preparing for this Christmas as that cloud of uncertainty continues to hang over my head and will be there until Thursday at the least. I've had some issues with sleeping so when it hits I've been using those times to write some notes to my children and Baby Jack just so they know how much they are loved.
Not telling them what is going on has been the easiest decision I've had to make in a long time and also the hardest as it goes against everything I've tried to teach them about being open and sharing what is happening in our lives. How does that saying go....Do as I say, not as I do......Mea Culpa
I'm working on a year in review blog entry and hope to have it posted before the 31st as well as couple of others I had started before the proverbial crap it the fan a few weeks back.
Regardless of how things are going, I wish each of you peace and joy this holiday season and all the ones to come.
My name is Marcus and my Xmas wish list is pretty simple......positive results on Thursday and bumping into the imperfectly perfect one for me...........it's that time of year so anything is possible
Sunday, December 10, 2017
Thank You
Sunday, December 10/17
I would like to take a moment to express my thanks for all the messages I've received and encouragement sent my way.
All of the entries I post to this blog are only meant to get you the reader to pause for a moment, asking yourself if any of that particular blog resonates, and hopefully help you see something in a new light.
Along the way I get to express my feelings and experience a form of therapy, not a replacement for the real thing but rather a booster shot if you will.
The past week has been a bit hazy as my mind has wandered all over the place but a couple of things happened on Thursday that are helping me put things into perspective and make some progress.
The first came with the call for my visit to the specialist. It's happening between Christmas and the New Year so at least I've got that one off my plate. But with every good news comes the possibility of some bad news and I think that also came about with that call. Seems I'm not just seeing the specialist to discuss the ultrasound findings but actually having an exploratory procedure done at that time.
Not the most thrilling of calls but I should have some clarity of where things stand before heading down to Mexico for my daughters wedding in January. Based on the decision to do the procedure I'm going to go out on a limb and hypothesize that we have eliminated the minor infection angle and are now looking at possible polyps or cancer, yes I'm willing to use the c word here and I'm actually psyching myself up to battle the bitch head on if that's what it comes too.
The second came celebrating my grandson's 1st birthday with only the family on Thursday night. Watching him with everyone made me realize that even though life can sometimes throw us a curve ball that there is so much I can be thankful for. I've been loved in my life, been in love, have 2 amazing kids who make me smile every single day, and now a wonderful little grandson who truly is the light of my life, able to make me cry with nothing more than a smile sent my way.
There is a song that has been embraced by the Liverpool Football Club that says "You'll Never Walk Alone" and I know that come what may that I'll never be alone as family, friends, and my faith will always be there for me.
I was going to put the blog on hold until after the holiday's but given the uncertainty going on in my life at the moment figure continuing to blog would be one of the best things I can do, so having said I'll keep doing this for however long I can or the mood strikes me.
My name is Marcus and I'm still looking for someone to trade me some limes in exchange for the lemons life has given me.........what would life be like without a sense of humour, don't have a clue and not willing to find out just quite yet.
Today's musical suggestion is "Winter Song" by Ali & Theo. Kind of sad but I love the instrumentals supporting the lyrics. Here is the YouTube link for those interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRu2qbF66Jk
I would like to take a moment to express my thanks for all the messages I've received and encouragement sent my way.
All of the entries I post to this blog are only meant to get you the reader to pause for a moment, asking yourself if any of that particular blog resonates, and hopefully help you see something in a new light.
Along the way I get to express my feelings and experience a form of therapy, not a replacement for the real thing but rather a booster shot if you will.
The past week has been a bit hazy as my mind has wandered all over the place but a couple of things happened on Thursday that are helping me put things into perspective and make some progress.
The first came with the call for my visit to the specialist. It's happening between Christmas and the New Year so at least I've got that one off my plate. But with every good news comes the possibility of some bad news and I think that also came about with that call. Seems I'm not just seeing the specialist to discuss the ultrasound findings but actually having an exploratory procedure done at that time.
Not the most thrilling of calls but I should have some clarity of where things stand before heading down to Mexico for my daughters wedding in January. Based on the decision to do the procedure I'm going to go out on a limb and hypothesize that we have eliminated the minor infection angle and are now looking at possible polyps or cancer, yes I'm willing to use the c word here and I'm actually psyching myself up to battle the bitch head on if that's what it comes too.
The second came celebrating my grandson's 1st birthday with only the family on Thursday night. Watching him with everyone made me realize that even though life can sometimes throw us a curve ball that there is so much I can be thankful for. I've been loved in my life, been in love, have 2 amazing kids who make me smile every single day, and now a wonderful little grandson who truly is the light of my life, able to make me cry with nothing more than a smile sent my way.
There is a song that has been embraced by the Liverpool Football Club that says "You'll Never Walk Alone" and I know that come what may that I'll never be alone as family, friends, and my faith will always be there for me.
I was going to put the blog on hold until after the holiday's but given the uncertainty going on in my life at the moment figure continuing to blog would be one of the best things I can do, so having said I'll keep doing this for however long I can or the mood strikes me.
My name is Marcus and I'm still looking for someone to trade me some limes in exchange for the lemons life has given me.........what would life be like without a sense of humour, don't have a clue and not willing to find out just quite yet.
Today's musical suggestion is "Winter Song" by Ali & Theo. Kind of sad but I love the instrumentals supporting the lyrics. Here is the YouTube link for those interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRu2qbF66Jk
Sunday, December 3, 2017
In a Holding Pattern
Sunday, December 03/17
Have you ever had one of those weeks where things just seem to happen and have you wondering when the next body blow is coming?
Well that has been my week and I have to admit the last few days have been one fucking emotional roller coaster as I digest things and try and determine just what the hell my options are when the dust settles.
Because I've been battling high blood pressure the last few years I tend to get blood and other tests done every six months. Nothing unusual in that and they've always come back fairly routine and help my family physician fine tune the dosage of my medications, the last few times my BP has been doing really great, think along the lines of normal 120/80 type readings.
The one hiccup, and you knew there had to be one if I was writing a blog entry, was the trace amounts of blood in my urine. The first time it happened it was nothing to get too concerned about and a note was made to see what happened with my next test results, odds are it being a slight infection that would heal naturally over time.
Well the next test results came back a week and a half ago and still showed blood but now it was a bit higher. Could still be an infection but my doctor is careful if she is nothing else and she ordered up an ultrasound to just be on the safe side, a procedure that takes about 25-35 minutes.
I had my ultrasound last Monday and when we hit the hour mark knew things weren't as good as I was hoping. Of course the technician couldn't say anything but sometimes they don't have to say a word to convey a message. She told me the urologist would review the test and my doctor would get the results Thursday at the earliest and more likely not until this coming week.
My doctor called me on Wednesday to tell me there was some spots on the ultrasound and I was getting a referral to see a specialist. So much for not hearing from anyone until this week.
Being the person I am I did some research and was pretty much gob smacked with what it all might mean. Could still be an infection, could also be polyps, and could also be the big C.
Here is where life gets interesting, well that is one way of putting it, the maternal side of my family is riddled with the big C and that bastard has managed to take a few ancestors for a ride. So as you can imagine I'm feeling a bit freaked out right now.
I'm waiting to hear from the specialist about the next steps and the rather invasive procedure they need to perform to even tell me what the hell it all means, all the while doing my best to show nothing but a calm exterior.
This is where being single really sucks big time, not that this is something I'd want to put anyone one through but it would be nice to have someone to talk to about it and give me a lift to and from the procedure.
I had to talk to my ex about it as it impacts her through the kids and I'll say she was just as supportive as I thought she would be and as I would be for her. I let her know that until I have some definitive answers I'm keeping this from the kids, my daughter would lose her mind and want to cancel her wedding and my son would be just as devastated and trying to deal with this and university would overwhelm him.
Than there is baby Jack.................
I can't even begin to express how much love I have for that little guy, how watching him grow up from the little lump in a blanket to the walking, waving, and smiling little boy he is today makes me feel so alive inside.
We had his first birthday party yesterday and it was almost as if he sensed something is up as he wouldn't let me out of his sight, constantly walking over to me and reaching up for me to lift him up and give him kisses, much more than to anyone else and my daughter was giving me some looks like as if to ask what's up. I just smiled and said it was a phase with him.
I managed a few moments alone with my ex post party as we cleaned up the kitchen and told her I was revising my will since baby Jack was now part of the picture, asking if she would be the executor of my estate since the one named in my current version passed away a year ago. She told me she would but that I didn't need to do those things yet, maybe she is right but I'd rather start getting things together now than put them off and leave people having to deal with a mess.
I think she might have talked about it with her partner, which is her right and something I'm a tad jealous of if I'm honest, as he came up to me while I was standing on the deck getting some fresh air and reminded me that we are golfing while in Mexico and he wasn't going to hear anything about me thinking about not playing. He's a bigger introvert than I am so for him to say that is a pretty nice gesture, I've always appreciated that he understands I'm the father to his partners children and never once overstepped his boundaries but has still always been there for them when needed. I couldn't ask for anything more from my ex's partner.
Normally I'd be so optimistic about this but given my family history it is kind of hard to feel that way at the moment.
I'm not writing this entry to get anyone to feel bad for me or offer up sympathy. People all around the world deal with these kinds of things and nothing makes my situation stand out more than anyone else's. No, I'm blogging about it so that people are aware that following up on tests and paying attention to the warning signs can help increase the odds of beating the problem.
Because of my regular testing related to my high blood pressure it sounds like this was discovered at the early stages and makes it very treatable, odds are I'm going to come out of this fine, so please take that as my public service announcement to get tested when you should and be proactive.
My life is sort of in a holding pattern for the moment while I wait, which makes doing things in the future sort of difficult, like having to work around a wedding taking place next month that I'm not missing for anything in the world. I've got a lot to still do in life and am going to do everything in my power to make sure I'm around to do them. Watch my daughter get married, continue supporting my son at university, and not just financially lol, and watch my grandson develop into a man in his own right. Maybe I'll also get the opportunity to meet the one imperfectly perfect woman for me :)
My name is Marcus and life has thrown me some lemon's.........I'm looking to trade them for some limes to go with my cerveza's on the beach or rum and coke with dinner while in Mexico.
Today's musical suggestion is "Caught Me Thinkin" by The Bahamas
Have you ever had one of those weeks where things just seem to happen and have you wondering when the next body blow is coming?
Well that has been my week and I have to admit the last few days have been one fucking emotional roller coaster as I digest things and try and determine just what the hell my options are when the dust settles.
Because I've been battling high blood pressure the last few years I tend to get blood and other tests done every six months. Nothing unusual in that and they've always come back fairly routine and help my family physician fine tune the dosage of my medications, the last few times my BP has been doing really great, think along the lines of normal 120/80 type readings.
The one hiccup, and you knew there had to be one if I was writing a blog entry, was the trace amounts of blood in my urine. The first time it happened it was nothing to get too concerned about and a note was made to see what happened with my next test results, odds are it being a slight infection that would heal naturally over time.
Well the next test results came back a week and a half ago and still showed blood but now it was a bit higher. Could still be an infection but my doctor is careful if she is nothing else and she ordered up an ultrasound to just be on the safe side, a procedure that takes about 25-35 minutes.
I had my ultrasound last Monday and when we hit the hour mark knew things weren't as good as I was hoping. Of course the technician couldn't say anything but sometimes they don't have to say a word to convey a message. She told me the urologist would review the test and my doctor would get the results Thursday at the earliest and more likely not until this coming week.
My doctor called me on Wednesday to tell me there was some spots on the ultrasound and I was getting a referral to see a specialist. So much for not hearing from anyone until this week.
Being the person I am I did some research and was pretty much gob smacked with what it all might mean. Could still be an infection, could also be polyps, and could also be the big C.
Here is where life gets interesting, well that is one way of putting it, the maternal side of my family is riddled with the big C and that bastard has managed to take a few ancestors for a ride. So as you can imagine I'm feeling a bit freaked out right now.
I'm waiting to hear from the specialist about the next steps and the rather invasive procedure they need to perform to even tell me what the hell it all means, all the while doing my best to show nothing but a calm exterior.
This is where being single really sucks big time, not that this is something I'd want to put anyone one through but it would be nice to have someone to talk to about it and give me a lift to and from the procedure.
I had to talk to my ex about it as it impacts her through the kids and I'll say she was just as supportive as I thought she would be and as I would be for her. I let her know that until I have some definitive answers I'm keeping this from the kids, my daughter would lose her mind and want to cancel her wedding and my son would be just as devastated and trying to deal with this and university would overwhelm him.
Than there is baby Jack.................
I can't even begin to express how much love I have for that little guy, how watching him grow up from the little lump in a blanket to the walking, waving, and smiling little boy he is today makes me feel so alive inside.
We had his first birthday party yesterday and it was almost as if he sensed something is up as he wouldn't let me out of his sight, constantly walking over to me and reaching up for me to lift him up and give him kisses, much more than to anyone else and my daughter was giving me some looks like as if to ask what's up. I just smiled and said it was a phase with him.
I managed a few moments alone with my ex post party as we cleaned up the kitchen and told her I was revising my will since baby Jack was now part of the picture, asking if she would be the executor of my estate since the one named in my current version passed away a year ago. She told me she would but that I didn't need to do those things yet, maybe she is right but I'd rather start getting things together now than put them off and leave people having to deal with a mess.
I think she might have talked about it with her partner, which is her right and something I'm a tad jealous of if I'm honest, as he came up to me while I was standing on the deck getting some fresh air and reminded me that we are golfing while in Mexico and he wasn't going to hear anything about me thinking about not playing. He's a bigger introvert than I am so for him to say that is a pretty nice gesture, I've always appreciated that he understands I'm the father to his partners children and never once overstepped his boundaries but has still always been there for them when needed. I couldn't ask for anything more from my ex's partner.
Normally I'd be so optimistic about this but given my family history it is kind of hard to feel that way at the moment.
I'm not writing this entry to get anyone to feel bad for me or offer up sympathy. People all around the world deal with these kinds of things and nothing makes my situation stand out more than anyone else's. No, I'm blogging about it so that people are aware that following up on tests and paying attention to the warning signs can help increase the odds of beating the problem.
Because of my regular testing related to my high blood pressure it sounds like this was discovered at the early stages and makes it very treatable, odds are I'm going to come out of this fine, so please take that as my public service announcement to get tested when you should and be proactive.
My life is sort of in a holding pattern for the moment while I wait, which makes doing things in the future sort of difficult, like having to work around a wedding taking place next month that I'm not missing for anything in the world. I've got a lot to still do in life and am going to do everything in my power to make sure I'm around to do them. Watch my daughter get married, continue supporting my son at university, and not just financially lol, and watch my grandson develop into a man in his own right. Maybe I'll also get the opportunity to meet the one imperfectly perfect woman for me :)
My name is Marcus and life has thrown me some lemon's.........I'm looking to trade them for some limes to go with my cerveza's on the beach or rum and coke with dinner while in Mexico.
Today's musical suggestion is "Caught Me Thinkin" by The Bahamas
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
Happy Birthday
Wednesday, November 29/17
Today marks the birthday of someone very special to me and I want to wish her a very happy birthday.
I hope both A and N are able to talk to you today to let you know how much they love and miss you, that your parents B & D are able to do the same, as well as all of your friends and comrades spread far and wide across Canada and around the world.
The circle of people who like, admire, and dare I say love you far exceeds that which you think you know and understand. I learned that from my evening at a certain Ball that left me shaking my head at how someone so damn smart could be so oblivious to the feeling of those around and above her in the hierarchy of her own organization.
It is a silly cliche but far more true than I ever realized at the time but you made me a better person for our time together and I'll always hold you in my heart if for no other reason than that alone.
I view the world in a much clearer perspective and strive my best to see the good all around me, working to minimize those things that irritate me or cause me stress.
I am much more willing to let my explorer out when it comes to trying to new things and yet still take the time to savor the simple taste of a chilled glass of the one particular Pinot Grigio you introduced me to a few years back, yes, the one with the horse on the front that I used to so elegantly refer to as the "Horsey Wine" from the LCBO ;-)
I was not able to express these thoughts last year when this day rolled around but I did raise a glass to you and silently wished you a happy birthday.
These days finds me feeling a tad bit more in control of myself and able to think about you, me, and us without letting it overwhelm me and so with nothing but the truest feelings I shall close by saying......
Happy Birthday, Ma'am
I can hear you softly swearing at me as you read that last line but also know that there is a twinkle in your eyes and a smile parting your lips as it was always the one way I could sort of tease you and get away with it, other than with some soft kisses to the back of that sweet neck when you least expected them.
My name is Marcus and this blog entry is for one person and one person alone.
Today marks the birthday of someone very special to me and I want to wish her a very happy birthday.
I hope both A and N are able to talk to you today to let you know how much they love and miss you, that your parents B & D are able to do the same, as well as all of your friends and comrades spread far and wide across Canada and around the world.
The circle of people who like, admire, and dare I say love you far exceeds that which you think you know and understand. I learned that from my evening at a certain Ball that left me shaking my head at how someone so damn smart could be so oblivious to the feeling of those around and above her in the hierarchy of her own organization.
It is a silly cliche but far more true than I ever realized at the time but you made me a better person for our time together and I'll always hold you in my heart if for no other reason than that alone.
I view the world in a much clearer perspective and strive my best to see the good all around me, working to minimize those things that irritate me or cause me stress.
I am much more willing to let my explorer out when it comes to trying to new things and yet still take the time to savor the simple taste of a chilled glass of the one particular Pinot Grigio you introduced me to a few years back, yes, the one with the horse on the front that I used to so elegantly refer to as the "Horsey Wine" from the LCBO ;-)
I was not able to express these thoughts last year when this day rolled around but I did raise a glass to you and silently wished you a happy birthday.
These days finds me feeling a tad bit more in control of myself and able to think about you, me, and us without letting it overwhelm me and so with nothing but the truest feelings I shall close by saying......
Happy Birthday, Ma'am
I can hear you softly swearing at me as you read that last line but also know that there is a twinkle in your eyes and a smile parting your lips as it was always the one way I could sort of tease you and get away with it, other than with some soft kisses to the back of that sweet neck when you least expected them.
My name is Marcus and this blog entry is for one person and one person alone.
Thursday, November 23, 2017
Happy Thanksgiving
Thursday, November 23/17
Just want to wish all the American followers of the blog a Happy Thanksgiving.
Hope you are able to share the day with family and friends, eating all your favourite foods and imbibing drinks that make you smile.
For those of you daring the crowds to get your Black Friday shopping on, remember to be careful and to try as est as you can to not become overcome with the frenzy that accompanies this day.
I miss my end of November Thanksgiving but can't say the same for dealing with the commercialization that explodes on the day after, probably why I used to either go see a movie or get together with some friends and play a round of golf while our ladies hit the malls when I lived down south.
I'm actually working from home tomorrow as the Glebe is going to be a madhouse as Sunday's 105th Grey Cup inches closer and closer, crowds being one thing I try to avoid like the Europe and the Black Plague, but the nice thing about it is I'll be sharing a hearty breakfast with my son before he heads off to classes and starts his week with his mom.
I'm sensing a visit to my daughters is on the horizon as I need to get my fix of baby Jack and be reminded that the future is bright, so very bright :)
Marcus
Today's musical suggestion is an old one that I came across while watching some clips on YouTube as I was trying to sort out some tax issues related to revenue recognition, There She Goes by Sixpence None The Richer.
Just want to wish all the American followers of the blog a Happy Thanksgiving.
Hope you are able to share the day with family and friends, eating all your favourite foods and imbibing drinks that make you smile.
For those of you daring the crowds to get your Black Friday shopping on, remember to be careful and to try as est as you can to not become overcome with the frenzy that accompanies this day.
I miss my end of November Thanksgiving but can't say the same for dealing with the commercialization that explodes on the day after, probably why I used to either go see a movie or get together with some friends and play a round of golf while our ladies hit the malls when I lived down south.
I'm actually working from home tomorrow as the Glebe is going to be a madhouse as Sunday's 105th Grey Cup inches closer and closer, crowds being one thing I try to avoid like the Europe and the Black Plague, but the nice thing about it is I'll be sharing a hearty breakfast with my son before he heads off to classes and starts his week with his mom.
I'm sensing a visit to my daughters is on the horizon as I need to get my fix of baby Jack and be reminded that the future is bright, so very bright :)
Marcus
Today's musical suggestion is an old one that I came across while watching some clips on YouTube as I was trying to sort out some tax issues related to revenue recognition, There She Goes by Sixpence None The Richer.
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
Drinks at the Blue Cactus
Wednesday, November 15/17
So as part of a somewhat new tradition I stopped by the Blue Cactus tonight after work and had myself an ice cold Stella Artois and enjoyed a quiet walk around the Byward Market.
That is all today's blog is about, the reminder that one chance encounter can change things and have a ripple effect on your life, both good and bad.
The beer was perfect and the walk offered me some reflection.
Marcus
So as part of a somewhat new tradition I stopped by the Blue Cactus tonight after work and had myself an ice cold Stella Artois and enjoyed a quiet walk around the Byward Market.
That is all today's blog is about, the reminder that one chance encounter can change things and have a ripple effect on your life, both good and bad.
The beer was perfect and the walk offered me some reflection.
Marcus
Saturday, November 11, 2017
Never Shall I Forgot.......................
Lest We Forget......
November 11/17
On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month in our lords year nineteen hundred and eighteen did the guns fall silent across Europe but long before that moment did Lieutenant-Colonel John McCrae pen these words.......
Every year we remind ourselves of the sacrifices made by so many in order to safeguard our liberties and freedom through the wearing of the poppy
I will spend my moment of silence thinking of my great grandfather who took his final resting place in Flanders Field, my uncle who fell at Anzio while fighting to free Europe, and all the others who have taken a place on the ramparts so that I may lead the life I've been afforded without worry or fear.
I have family that I honour for the service they have performed for my country and friends I think of daily who knowingly stand the post in the present so that I have the freedoms I hold so dearly.
On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month in our lords year nineteen hundred and eighteen did the guns fall silent across Europe but long before that moment did Lieutenant-Colonel John McCrae pen these words.......
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields
Every year we remind ourselves of the sacrifices made by so many in order to safeguard our liberties and freedom through the wearing of the poppy
I will spend my moment of silence thinking of my great grandfather who took his final resting place in Flanders Field, my uncle who fell at Anzio while fighting to free Europe, and all the others who have taken a place on the ramparts so that I may lead the life I've been afforded without worry or fear.
I have family that I honour for the service they have performed for my country and friends I think of daily who knowingly stand the post in the present so that I have the freedoms I hold so dearly.
I shall not ever forget the past nor the present when thinking of them.
Stand thee well on this day of remembrance.
Stand thee well on this day of remembrance.
Thank you...............
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
It Is Interesting Which Blogs Garner The Most Views.
Wednesday, November 08/17
I've always found it kind of interesting which of my blog entries garner the most views and was kind of shocked when I logged in yesterday to see the two most recent entries "Online Dating" and "Full Circle" were blowing up with each hitting over 200 views after being up for a short time.
I guess they hit the spot as both revolve around dating in some way, the good and the bad as you will.
My most viewed entry is "Pros and Cons to Being Single" with almost 1,000 views.
ZFG & ZFG II rank up there as well with approximately 700 hits combined.
The funny thing is that some of what I consider my best entries are hardly even read, and no I'm not going to mention them by name as I'm just that kind of guy, tease and torment you the readers.
I've been doing this for about 6 years between this site and another and am now closing in on almost 25K views, something that makes me sit back and ask myself how the hell did this even come about.
The answer is just an overall sense of frustration with life at some point and my desire to basically vent about things with the thought that if some of them were bothering me they might also be doing the same for others.
I try my best to cover off current events that I find interesting or thought provoking as well as those near and dear to my own heart. Sometimes I feel like I've gotten my message across and other times not so much but the one thing I've never done or will ever do is mail it in, meaning just post an entry to pad my numbers.
Think that has partially been the problem the last little while, I've had some fucking wicked topics running through my head but when it came time to sit down to put them into words I just didn't feel like the finished product was worthy of any one's time and backed off to reconsider things.
Topics come to me at the strangest times, driving to work, playing a round of golf, in the shower, observing something I see going on around me, and sometimes I have paper and pen handy and can jot down the thought but unfortunately I find I don't more often than not and the thought is so fleeting that I lose it......
So here is to all my blog entries written and posted and those yet to come as this little adventure has really just started, for better or worse, and I'll do my best to keep you interested and maybe every now and again post something that will have you either scratching your head in confusion or fist pumping as you think to yourself "damn if he didn't just hit it right on the head"
My name is Marcus and these are my stories about being a parent, working, golfing, watching my awesome grandson baby Jack grow up, and possibly falling in love one last time.
Today's musical suggestion is "Down" by Marion Hill. Love the keyboards on this and think her voice hits all the right notes.
I've always found it kind of interesting which of my blog entries garner the most views and was kind of shocked when I logged in yesterday to see the two most recent entries "Online Dating" and "Full Circle" were blowing up with each hitting over 200 views after being up for a short time.
I guess they hit the spot as both revolve around dating in some way, the good and the bad as you will.
My most viewed entry is "Pros and Cons to Being Single" with almost 1,000 views.
ZFG & ZFG II rank up there as well with approximately 700 hits combined.
The funny thing is that some of what I consider my best entries are hardly even read, and no I'm not going to mention them by name as I'm just that kind of guy, tease and torment you the readers.
I've been doing this for about 6 years between this site and another and am now closing in on almost 25K views, something that makes me sit back and ask myself how the hell did this even come about.
The answer is just an overall sense of frustration with life at some point and my desire to basically vent about things with the thought that if some of them were bothering me they might also be doing the same for others.
I try my best to cover off current events that I find interesting or thought provoking as well as those near and dear to my own heart. Sometimes I feel like I've gotten my message across and other times not so much but the one thing I've never done or will ever do is mail it in, meaning just post an entry to pad my numbers.
Think that has partially been the problem the last little while, I've had some fucking wicked topics running through my head but when it came time to sit down to put them into words I just didn't feel like the finished product was worthy of any one's time and backed off to reconsider things.
Topics come to me at the strangest times, driving to work, playing a round of golf, in the shower, observing something I see going on around me, and sometimes I have paper and pen handy and can jot down the thought but unfortunately I find I don't more often than not and the thought is so fleeting that I lose it......
So here is to all my blog entries written and posted and those yet to come as this little adventure has really just started, for better or worse, and I'll do my best to keep you interested and maybe every now and again post something that will have you either scratching your head in confusion or fist pumping as you think to yourself "damn if he didn't just hit it right on the head"
My name is Marcus and these are my stories about being a parent, working, golfing, watching my awesome grandson baby Jack grow up, and possibly falling in love one last time.
Today's musical suggestion is "Down" by Marion Hill. Love the keyboards on this and think her voice hits all the right notes.
Once More The Son is My Source
Wednesday, November 08/17
In previous blog entries I've mentioned my love of music and how my son seems to have picked up that trait from me, how we love to share new discoveries with one another, seemingly trying to outdo the other with our finds. Well the trend continues, much to my delight.
Monday we went to dinner at my daughters to celebrate her fiances birthday and once we got home he headed off to take a shower in order to save himself some time on Tuesday morning as that is one of his early days for classes. Nothing magical or special about that other than the thought that went into reaching that decision, I say jokingly but with some admiration that he understands the time pressures he feels on Tuesday and Thursday's and is taking steps to minimize them.
So he grabbed his Sony SRS-XB2 speaker and headed off to his shower while I put some things away in the kitchen. Before I was done I had to stop as the song playing caught my attention with some serious instrumentals that totally had me moving around without even knowing it, so I grabbed my iPhone and stood in the hallway and Shazamed the song. Now my son does like some instrumentals but that has remained my genre for the most part, until now it seems.
For those wondering the song was "Warriors" by Too Many Zooz. It has a killer beat that totally has me popping my head every time I hear it, how much popping you wonder, well I had my ear buds in yesterday listening to it while working on a deferred revenue reconciliation and I looked up to see my boss and every one else in the group just standing there smiling at me as I was totally lost in the music.
I've attached the YouTube video link in case any of you are interested in listening to it and finding out what has me so pumped. There visual is nothing more than the album cover but you don't come for the sight but rather the sound :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bkza0QJA0rA
As I downloaded the song from Apple music it gave me suggestions for similar artists and it was like hitting the mother lode of all time. A couple of the other songs/artists I downloaded included "Best Things" by Lucky Chops, "3am Bounce" by NO BS! Brass, and "Crazy LA Blues" from Broken Brass Ensemble. My son added another to my list when he suggested I take a listen to "Walking with Elephants" by Ten Walls, and once more he hit a hole on one, I couldn't resist a golf reference, sorry, not sorry.
The one thing each of these songs has in common is a very underlying beat that reaches deep inside my chest to make me feel the music in a way that most songs don't. They literally have me swaying and wanting to move about, something that I'm really not known for in the least.
I repaid my debt to him by suggesting he take a listen to an all girl indie group from Toronto called The Beaches and in particular he listen to "Gold", "Money", and "Late Show".
So if you have a few moments feel free to take a listen to any mentioned in today's blog and let me know what you think or if you have some suggestions you'd like to pass along.
My name is Marcus and this is my little running dialogue on being single, trying to be the best father possible, learning how to be a better person, mastering my wedge from 60 yards, and maybe, just maybe crossing paths with the one who is imperfectly perfect for me.
In previous blog entries I've mentioned my love of music and how my son seems to have picked up that trait from me, how we love to share new discoveries with one another, seemingly trying to outdo the other with our finds. Well the trend continues, much to my delight.
Monday we went to dinner at my daughters to celebrate her fiances birthday and once we got home he headed off to take a shower in order to save himself some time on Tuesday morning as that is one of his early days for classes. Nothing magical or special about that other than the thought that went into reaching that decision, I say jokingly but with some admiration that he understands the time pressures he feels on Tuesday and Thursday's and is taking steps to minimize them.
So he grabbed his Sony SRS-XB2 speaker and headed off to his shower while I put some things away in the kitchen. Before I was done I had to stop as the song playing caught my attention with some serious instrumentals that totally had me moving around without even knowing it, so I grabbed my iPhone and stood in the hallway and Shazamed the song. Now my son does like some instrumentals but that has remained my genre for the most part, until now it seems.
For those wondering the song was "Warriors" by Too Many Zooz. It has a killer beat that totally has me popping my head every time I hear it, how much popping you wonder, well I had my ear buds in yesterday listening to it while working on a deferred revenue reconciliation and I looked up to see my boss and every one else in the group just standing there smiling at me as I was totally lost in the music.
I've attached the YouTube video link in case any of you are interested in listening to it and finding out what has me so pumped. There visual is nothing more than the album cover but you don't come for the sight but rather the sound :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bkza0QJA0rA
As I downloaded the song from Apple music it gave me suggestions for similar artists and it was like hitting the mother lode of all time. A couple of the other songs/artists I downloaded included "Best Things" by Lucky Chops, "3am Bounce" by NO BS! Brass, and "Crazy LA Blues" from Broken Brass Ensemble. My son added another to my list when he suggested I take a listen to "Walking with Elephants" by Ten Walls, and once more he hit a hole on one, I couldn't resist a golf reference, sorry, not sorry.
The one thing each of these songs has in common is a very underlying beat that reaches deep inside my chest to make me feel the music in a way that most songs don't. They literally have me swaying and wanting to move about, something that I'm really not known for in the least.
I repaid my debt to him by suggesting he take a listen to an all girl indie group from Toronto called The Beaches and in particular he listen to "Gold", "Money", and "Late Show".
So if you have a few moments feel free to take a listen to any mentioned in today's blog and let me know what you think or if you have some suggestions you'd like to pass along.
My name is Marcus and this is my little running dialogue on being single, trying to be the best father possible, learning how to be a better person, mastering my wedge from 60 yards, and maybe, just maybe crossing paths with the one who is imperfectly perfect for me.
Sunday, November 5, 2017
Full Circle
Sunday, November 05/17
So this past week I received notification that someone on eHarmony had sent me a smile and was interested in me. Smiles are how you let someone know they've caught your eye and you want to chat and see what happens.
Now I was at work and couldn't log in in to my profile as our firewall blocks those kinds of sites, but lets us watch YouTube so you figure that one out, and had to wait till I got home as for some reason my iPhone doesn't sync up with the Internet when I use the eHarmony application.
Once I got home, took Moki for her walk, and got things generally squared away I logged in and checked out the profile.
Now for those readers who have been following the blog for any length of time, you'll know that I met C on this site and pretty much our whole relationship started with the simple sending of smiles back and forth, so you can imagine my shock when I saw who sent me the smile.......
No, it wasn't C as she is down in D.C. and I'm sure getting hit on by every single guy who meets her as well as some married guys to boot.
No, but the woman was from the exact same organization as C although a little bit younger and working downtown. Now if that isn't some form of deja vu than I don't know what is.
How do I know they are from the same organization you ask? Her outfit pretty much said it all as did her stated profession. Oddly enough, she also resides in the east end of Ottawa in the exact same neighborhood and also has 2 sons, a bit younger I think given she is in her late 30's.
I didn't respond that night but waited till the next day, not because I was playing games but more so I had some time to decide if I wanted to respond or let this one go by the wayside. In the end I sent a smile back and we've exchanged some questions to get to know more about one another.
It seems almost like I've traveled back to the fall of 2015 and am reliving that part of my life once again, full circle if you will.
No clue what is going to happen but the odds aren't great as given her profession it means she'll be getting a new position at some point and the whole long distance issue comes up once again. The nice thing is that it looks like she isn't too far up the organizational ladder so to speak and that won't cause me any issues as I won't be as limited in how I address people when around her, should it even get to that stage, as I found it hard not to call people sir or ma'am around C given how I was raised but understood the reason I couldn't do so given her own position.
My name is Marcus and the one thing my dating life is these days is anything but boring. The search for my one continues and with the golf season almost officially over it will be on my mind more and more, not always a good thing if you ask me :)
So this past week I received notification that someone on eHarmony had sent me a smile and was interested in me. Smiles are how you let someone know they've caught your eye and you want to chat and see what happens.
Now I was at work and couldn't log in in to my profile as our firewall blocks those kinds of sites, but lets us watch YouTube so you figure that one out, and had to wait till I got home as for some reason my iPhone doesn't sync up with the Internet when I use the eHarmony application.
Once I got home, took Moki for her walk, and got things generally squared away I logged in and checked out the profile.
Now for those readers who have been following the blog for any length of time, you'll know that I met C on this site and pretty much our whole relationship started with the simple sending of smiles back and forth, so you can imagine my shock when I saw who sent me the smile.......
No, it wasn't C as she is down in D.C. and I'm sure getting hit on by every single guy who meets her as well as some married guys to boot.
No, but the woman was from the exact same organization as C although a little bit younger and working downtown. Now if that isn't some form of deja vu than I don't know what is.
How do I know they are from the same organization you ask? Her outfit pretty much said it all as did her stated profession. Oddly enough, she also resides in the east end of Ottawa in the exact same neighborhood and also has 2 sons, a bit younger I think given she is in her late 30's.
I didn't respond that night but waited till the next day, not because I was playing games but more so I had some time to decide if I wanted to respond or let this one go by the wayside. In the end I sent a smile back and we've exchanged some questions to get to know more about one another.
It seems almost like I've traveled back to the fall of 2015 and am reliving that part of my life once again, full circle if you will.
No clue what is going to happen but the odds aren't great as given her profession it means she'll be getting a new position at some point and the whole long distance issue comes up once again. The nice thing is that it looks like she isn't too far up the organizational ladder so to speak and that won't cause me any issues as I won't be as limited in how I address people when around her, should it even get to that stage, as I found it hard not to call people sir or ma'am around C given how I was raised but understood the reason I couldn't do so given her own position.
My name is Marcus and the one thing my dating life is these days is anything but boring. The search for my one continues and with the golf season almost officially over it will be on my mind more and more, not always a good thing if you ask me :)
The Week of Baby Jack
Sunday, November 05/17
So this weekend was pretty busy on the family front as it was the Stag & Doe for my daughter and her fiance which translated into time with my most incredible grandson, aka baby Jack.
Actually, it was an interesting week or so in regards to Jack and some of his firsts.
His first Halloween was both good and bad. Good in that he totally rocked his little monkey costume and bad in that he managed to get a trip to CHEO (Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario) when he was on his fathers shoulders and slammed his head into a light fixture. My son sent me a text on the last one letting me know they were heading to CHEO as he had a gash just inside his hairline that was going to need stitches.
Now to say I was freaking out would be putting it mildly but I knew he was in good hands with his parents and I'd learn more as things developed, which I did when she called me to let me know he was going to be fine but he now had 6 staples to close the wound. She told me she'd never been so scared in her life as there was just blood everywhere and he was screaming in pain and fright. She sent me a picture of him and the little trooper was sucking on a cold clothe and looked so adorable, even with red eyes and the staples visible in his light brown hair.
I stopped by on Tuesday on my way home as much to see my future son-in-law as to see my grandson as I was worried the son-in-law was going to be blaming himself for the accident, having been there myself with my son the time I wasn't paying attention while drying him off after a bath and he turned his head right into the q-tip and almost perforated his ear drum. I helped my daughter get him ready for bed and than spent some time talking to him to let him know his son is one tough cookie and that as bad as it was it wasn't going to be the last time they visited CHEO as it was part of raising busy and fearless children. I can't count the number of times we visited there between my son and my daughter.
Come Wednesday things were back to normal with the exception that Jack had decided that he'd had enough of crawling and started to walk, albeit tentatively. Again my daughter sent me a video of him walking across the room and asked if I was ready for the weekend as I was down to watch him Friday night while they went to her mom's to prep some stuff for Saturday's Stag & Doe and again on Saturday during the actual party.
Now some might wonder why I wasn't actually at the party and the simple truth is that my family knows I don't handle crowds very well and do all they can to protect me, knowing I'd have been there if asked but not feeling all that comfortable in that setting, so instead I got the joy of spending some one on one time with my grandson, one of the best nights of my life!!!
I got there early and played with him in his room and helped with his bath, something he loves almost as much as loves throwing balls so the dogs can play fetch. Around 6 pm he started getting tired so upstairs we went to have a bottle and snuggle. Laying next to him reminded me how much I enjoyed those times with my son when he was that age, actually it made me think how alike those two are and the special bond they are already developing. Soon he was sound asleep so I made sure he was covered up and his soosie was close at hand. I watched some movies and kept an eye on him on the monitor as he pretty much slept the night away for me. I received a few texts from my daughter asking how he was doing and one from her fiance saying I needed to babysit more often as he only seems to sleep the night away when grandpa is around, made me feel so good inside as I read that one.
Around 12:30 am I started to feel pretty sleepy myself and went upstairs and layed down next to Jack and fell asleep, knowing that if I tried to stay awake on the couch I was doomed lol
My daughter woke me up at 1:40 when they got home and told me they'd almost left me alone as the sight of Jack and his grandpa sleeping was so cute. I made it home by 2 to see my son watching a video of his nephew scooching over to snuggle up to me that my daughter had sent out to the family.
My ex texted me to say she was so jealous but there was nobody else she'd rather see him do that with than me, other then herself of course lol
I'm 55 and have never once felt my age, probably one reason why I've always tended to date younger, and now I know that my grandson is going to continue letting me feel that way as he totally makes me feel energized.
I know that we aren't supposed to have favourites when it comes to family but I'd be lying if I didn't say that little boy is the jewel in my eyes and the single most important person to this blogger.
My name is Marcus and I'm searching for my one, but in the meantime I'll be spending as much time as possible with baby Jack and soaking up all the energy and love that little boy brings to my world.
So this weekend was pretty busy on the family front as it was the Stag & Doe for my daughter and her fiance which translated into time with my most incredible grandson, aka baby Jack.
Actually, it was an interesting week or so in regards to Jack and some of his firsts.
His first Halloween was both good and bad. Good in that he totally rocked his little monkey costume and bad in that he managed to get a trip to CHEO (Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario) when he was on his fathers shoulders and slammed his head into a light fixture. My son sent me a text on the last one letting me know they were heading to CHEO as he had a gash just inside his hairline that was going to need stitches.
Now to say I was freaking out would be putting it mildly but I knew he was in good hands with his parents and I'd learn more as things developed, which I did when she called me to let me know he was going to be fine but he now had 6 staples to close the wound. She told me she'd never been so scared in her life as there was just blood everywhere and he was screaming in pain and fright. She sent me a picture of him and the little trooper was sucking on a cold clothe and looked so adorable, even with red eyes and the staples visible in his light brown hair.
I stopped by on Tuesday on my way home as much to see my future son-in-law as to see my grandson as I was worried the son-in-law was going to be blaming himself for the accident, having been there myself with my son the time I wasn't paying attention while drying him off after a bath and he turned his head right into the q-tip and almost perforated his ear drum. I helped my daughter get him ready for bed and than spent some time talking to him to let him know his son is one tough cookie and that as bad as it was it wasn't going to be the last time they visited CHEO as it was part of raising busy and fearless children. I can't count the number of times we visited there between my son and my daughter.
Come Wednesday things were back to normal with the exception that Jack had decided that he'd had enough of crawling and started to walk, albeit tentatively. Again my daughter sent me a video of him walking across the room and asked if I was ready for the weekend as I was down to watch him Friday night while they went to her mom's to prep some stuff for Saturday's Stag & Doe and again on Saturday during the actual party.
Now some might wonder why I wasn't actually at the party and the simple truth is that my family knows I don't handle crowds very well and do all they can to protect me, knowing I'd have been there if asked but not feeling all that comfortable in that setting, so instead I got the joy of spending some one on one time with my grandson, one of the best nights of my life!!!
I got there early and played with him in his room and helped with his bath, something he loves almost as much as loves throwing balls so the dogs can play fetch. Around 6 pm he started getting tired so upstairs we went to have a bottle and snuggle. Laying next to him reminded me how much I enjoyed those times with my son when he was that age, actually it made me think how alike those two are and the special bond they are already developing. Soon he was sound asleep so I made sure he was covered up and his soosie was close at hand. I watched some movies and kept an eye on him on the monitor as he pretty much slept the night away for me. I received a few texts from my daughter asking how he was doing and one from her fiance saying I needed to babysit more often as he only seems to sleep the night away when grandpa is around, made me feel so good inside as I read that one.
Around 12:30 am I started to feel pretty sleepy myself and went upstairs and layed down next to Jack and fell asleep, knowing that if I tried to stay awake on the couch I was doomed lol
My daughter woke me up at 1:40 when they got home and told me they'd almost left me alone as the sight of Jack and his grandpa sleeping was so cute. I made it home by 2 to see my son watching a video of his nephew scooching over to snuggle up to me that my daughter had sent out to the family.
My ex texted me to say she was so jealous but there was nobody else she'd rather see him do that with than me, other then herself of course lol
I'm 55 and have never once felt my age, probably one reason why I've always tended to date younger, and now I know that my grandson is going to continue letting me feel that way as he totally makes me feel energized.
I know that we aren't supposed to have favourites when it comes to family but I'd be lying if I didn't say that little boy is the jewel in my eyes and the single most important person to this blogger.
My name is Marcus and I'm searching for my one, but in the meantime I'll be spending as much time as possible with baby Jack and soaking up all the energy and love that little boy brings to my world.
Online Dating is Exciting and Fun
November 05/17
Online dating is exciting and fun........said no one ever!!!!!
I was never part of the whole bar or club scene but have heard my fair share of horror stories but think I've now found my own version of these dating environments via online dating.
Now don't get me wrong, not all of my experiences have been bad as I did get an opportunity to meet C and have a relationship for a little while.
But I'm starting to wonder if that might have been the exception rather than the rule to online dating where I am concerned as some of my most recent experiences have left me wondering just who the hell I've pissed off in the dating department to deserve some of these encounters (names have not been changed as I don't really care if they ever stumble across this blog and read about themselves, that alone should tell you something about them given how I've always been protective of the identities of those I write about).
Let's start with Michelle or as I like to call her TMIM. That stands for Too Much Information Michelle. I have to say that she is one of the few poor experiences I've had with someone from eHarmony.
We chatted a bit before agreeing to meet for a drink. Things started off well enough but towards the middle of the meeting she reached across the table and placed her hand on top of mine and told me that she found me very interesting and would be open to some more dates to see how things might go. Sounds pretty good doesn't it without any reason to feel any trepidation right? Looks can be deceiving as I've learned over the years. What you can't see from the words was the "but" that was tagged to that statement but one I knew was there. "But I like to know what a guy is expecting from me and thus have to ask you a very critical question" Now you might be sitting there thinking her question was going to center around sex or some such thing, and I guess it sort of did.
"So what I'm wondering is what you are expecting to see when we are intimate the first time"
Now keep it in mind that we haven't even shared a hug let alone kissed yet and this is the question she thinks needs to be addressed right now. Of course a couple of things went through my mind, was she post gender reassignment surgery, did she have multiple piercings or tattoos in her nether region, or did she have an extra nipple or some such thing.
I'll give her credit for not letting that pause last too long before she explained what she meant.
"I'm wondering if you are expecting to see hardwood, maybe a landing strip/tuft, or shag carpet?, if you know what I mean?"
Now I'll admit that I've dated my fair share, see an earlier post on my numbers, but I am kind of proud that I'll never be called a man whore or player based on my experiences but I've also not given too much consideration to the grooming habits of anyone I've just met for the first time.
I admitted as much to Michelle and think she took this as a lack of interest in my part, which it had sort of become. She smiled at me and looked me in the eyes as she told me that she had perfect hardwood throughout and expected the same in return. I'll admit that I once did that but the chaffing as things grew back made it easy to never want to do it again, not to say I don't follow a grooming regime so that I don't look like someone whose never seen a pair of scissors before.
We wound things up and went our separate ways after I settled up the tab. I got a text later that night saying she was still interested in seeing me but I replied that I thought that last bit about grooming habits was maybe at best a 3rd or 4th date topic and not one to have so early on and wished her well but thought we were in different places. The last thing I got from her was "Your loss as I rock in bed!"
Confidence is sexy but bragging is a total turn off to this guy.
I'm going to close this entry out and wonder if this is normal to bring up so quickly or am I just too old and not up to date on things.
My name is Marcus and I like the surprise of finding things out in due time and not knowing before hand what to expect. I'm still seeking the one and hoping she sort of has some of the same views I do about certain things :)
Today's musical suggestion is "Never Let Me Down Again" by Depeche Moide. I've been doing a lot of YouTube viewing the past few weeks and have really enjoyed some of Depeche's videos.
here is the link to the video I've watched a few times this week:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xq428DZI-eg
One thing I love about this song is the beat of the song, it just make me want to move, and the best part of the video is the back up singers, those two ladies never stop dancing and it is so cool to watch how much they get into it.
Online dating is exciting and fun........said no one ever!!!!!
I was never part of the whole bar or club scene but have heard my fair share of horror stories but think I've now found my own version of these dating environments via online dating.
Now don't get me wrong, not all of my experiences have been bad as I did get an opportunity to meet C and have a relationship for a little while.
But I'm starting to wonder if that might have been the exception rather than the rule to online dating where I am concerned as some of my most recent experiences have left me wondering just who the hell I've pissed off in the dating department to deserve some of these encounters (names have not been changed as I don't really care if they ever stumble across this blog and read about themselves, that alone should tell you something about them given how I've always been protective of the identities of those I write about).
Let's start with Michelle or as I like to call her TMIM. That stands for Too Much Information Michelle. I have to say that she is one of the few poor experiences I've had with someone from eHarmony.
We chatted a bit before agreeing to meet for a drink. Things started off well enough but towards the middle of the meeting she reached across the table and placed her hand on top of mine and told me that she found me very interesting and would be open to some more dates to see how things might go. Sounds pretty good doesn't it without any reason to feel any trepidation right? Looks can be deceiving as I've learned over the years. What you can't see from the words was the "but" that was tagged to that statement but one I knew was there. "But I like to know what a guy is expecting from me and thus have to ask you a very critical question" Now you might be sitting there thinking her question was going to center around sex or some such thing, and I guess it sort of did.
"So what I'm wondering is what you are expecting to see when we are intimate the first time"
Now keep it in mind that we haven't even shared a hug let alone kissed yet and this is the question she thinks needs to be addressed right now. Of course a couple of things went through my mind, was she post gender reassignment surgery, did she have multiple piercings or tattoos in her nether region, or did she have an extra nipple or some such thing.
I'll give her credit for not letting that pause last too long before she explained what she meant.
"I'm wondering if you are expecting to see hardwood, maybe a landing strip/tuft, or shag carpet?, if you know what I mean?"
Now I'll admit that I've dated my fair share, see an earlier post on my numbers, but I am kind of proud that I'll never be called a man whore or player based on my experiences but I've also not given too much consideration to the grooming habits of anyone I've just met for the first time.
I admitted as much to Michelle and think she took this as a lack of interest in my part, which it had sort of become. She smiled at me and looked me in the eyes as she told me that she had perfect hardwood throughout and expected the same in return. I'll admit that I once did that but the chaffing as things grew back made it easy to never want to do it again, not to say I don't follow a grooming regime so that I don't look like someone whose never seen a pair of scissors before.
We wound things up and went our separate ways after I settled up the tab. I got a text later that night saying she was still interested in seeing me but I replied that I thought that last bit about grooming habits was maybe at best a 3rd or 4th date topic and not one to have so early on and wished her well but thought we were in different places. The last thing I got from her was "Your loss as I rock in bed!"
Confidence is sexy but bragging is a total turn off to this guy.
I'm going to close this entry out and wonder if this is normal to bring up so quickly or am I just too old and not up to date on things.
My name is Marcus and I like the surprise of finding things out in due time and not knowing before hand what to expect. I'm still seeking the one and hoping she sort of has some of the same views I do about certain things :)
Today's musical suggestion is "Never Let Me Down Again" by Depeche Moide. I've been doing a lot of YouTube viewing the past few weeks and have really enjoyed some of Depeche's videos.
here is the link to the video I've watched a few times this week:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xq428DZI-eg
One thing I love about this song is the beat of the song, it just make me want to move, and the best part of the video is the back up singers, those two ladies never stop dancing and it is so cool to watch how much they get into it.
Wednesday, October 18, 2017
A Piece of Canada Died Last Night........
Wednesday, October 18/17
On the way to work this morning the news broke about the passing of Gord Downie last night and a sense of sadness washed over me like I haven't felt in far longer than I can remember.
For those reading this entry and wondering just who this man was and why his passing has left a nation feeling adrift and lost today read on to understand his impact.
On August 20th, 2016 the nation came to standstill to watch The Tragically Hip in their final concert from Kingston, the town where it all began and home to the band. It was such a bittersweet moment as all watching knew that it was the last performance for one of our heroes. I remember sitting on my couch and crying as they performed "Ahead By a Century" for the last time live and watching the crowd scenes from across the country as more than one person openly wept at our pending loss.
Canada is a large and beautiful country, so large that the majority of us won't ever see parts of it in anything other than a picture or video. It is a nation of incredible beauty that stretches from Vancouver Island in the west, to the snow drifts in the north, across the prairies golden brown with wheat, past the thundering water of Niagara, along the the St. Lawrence as it heads east to flow into the Gaspe, the colourful Laurentians, and the red soil of Prince Edwards Island.
It is filled with people from all walks of life, a multitude of religions, and ethnic backgrounds.
It is a place of hopes, dreams, and sorrow.
Gord Downie used lyrics as his brush and a concert stage as his canvas to describe our nation to us.
He spoke with an honesty that allowed us to bask in the glory that is Canada and also pulled back the stage curtains to remind us of our shortcomings and some of the ugliness that has blighted our past, always with the hope we would overcome these mistakes, right the ship, and be all that we could for our people and selves.
He was in many ways our heart and soul. Painting a picture with words that rivaled the best works of the Group of Seven.
My first concert was The Tragically Hip at the old Corel Centre back in 1996. A gift from my wife to celebrate my new life in my ancestral home. It was a show I've never forgotten and every time since that I've heard "Ahead By a Century" I've smiled deep inside.
I'll miss you Gord but rest assured that the message's you tried so hard to impart to us shall not go untold as I'll be talking about them this weekend with my son and more than likely doing my best to introduce The Tragically Hip to my grandson over the next few years.
I've placed a few links to Tragically Hip videos on YouTube for you to watch should the mood strike
Bobcaygeon - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6QDjDPRF5c
Wheat Kings - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JjX-F7AFso
Ahead By a Century - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QE2joQsWXJg
At The Hundredth Meridian - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCFo0a8V-Ag
My name is Marcus and tonight I'll raise a glass in memory of Gord and say a silent thanks to being able to say I was fortunate enough to see him live and feel the power of his music.
Rest in peace Gord, your journey is over but the message will carry on, we promise.....
On the way to work this morning the news broke about the passing of Gord Downie last night and a sense of sadness washed over me like I haven't felt in far longer than I can remember.
For those reading this entry and wondering just who this man was and why his passing has left a nation feeling adrift and lost today read on to understand his impact.
On August 20th, 2016 the nation came to standstill to watch The Tragically Hip in their final concert from Kingston, the town where it all began and home to the band. It was such a bittersweet moment as all watching knew that it was the last performance for one of our heroes. I remember sitting on my couch and crying as they performed "Ahead By a Century" for the last time live and watching the crowd scenes from across the country as more than one person openly wept at our pending loss.
Canada is a large and beautiful country, so large that the majority of us won't ever see parts of it in anything other than a picture or video. It is a nation of incredible beauty that stretches from Vancouver Island in the west, to the snow drifts in the north, across the prairies golden brown with wheat, past the thundering water of Niagara, along the the St. Lawrence as it heads east to flow into the Gaspe, the colourful Laurentians, and the red soil of Prince Edwards Island.
It is filled with people from all walks of life, a multitude of religions, and ethnic backgrounds.
It is a place of hopes, dreams, and sorrow.
Gord Downie used lyrics as his brush and a concert stage as his canvas to describe our nation to us.
He spoke with an honesty that allowed us to bask in the glory that is Canada and also pulled back the stage curtains to remind us of our shortcomings and some of the ugliness that has blighted our past, always with the hope we would overcome these mistakes, right the ship, and be all that we could for our people and selves.
He was in many ways our heart and soul. Painting a picture with words that rivaled the best works of the Group of Seven.
My first concert was The Tragically Hip at the old Corel Centre back in 1996. A gift from my wife to celebrate my new life in my ancestral home. It was a show I've never forgotten and every time since that I've heard "Ahead By a Century" I've smiled deep inside.
I'll miss you Gord but rest assured that the message's you tried so hard to impart to us shall not go untold as I'll be talking about them this weekend with my son and more than likely doing my best to introduce The Tragically Hip to my grandson over the next few years.
I've placed a few links to Tragically Hip videos on YouTube for you to watch should the mood strike
Bobcaygeon - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6QDjDPRF5c
Wheat Kings - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JjX-F7AFso
Ahead By a Century - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QE2joQsWXJg
At The Hundredth Meridian - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCFo0a8V-Ag
My name is Marcus and tonight I'll raise a glass in memory of Gord and say a silent thanks to being able to say I was fortunate enough to see him live and feel the power of his music.
Rest in peace Gord, your journey is over but the message will carry on, we promise.....
Monday, October 9, 2017
I have a question for you the reader
Monday, October 09/17
I've been pondering writing an entry about dating profiles and some of the things I've observed lately but before doing so thought I'd toss in some non clinical research and ask my readers the following question:
What is the first thing you look for when reviewing a dating site profile?
There are a couple of things I look for right off the bat when I see a new profile but I'm wondering if mine are part of the mainstream or a little out in left field.
Look forward to reading some of the responses and I'll have my own up in the next few days.
Marcus
Btw...this was my first weekend not golfing and I am happy to report that I didn't develop the shakes, bite the head off of a chicken, or yell at my kids lol
Friday, October 6, 2017
Happy Thanksgiving From Canada
Friday, October 06/17
Happy Thanksgiving!!
Yes, you read that correctly as we celebrate Thanksgiving this Monday and I wanted to get out front and wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving from Canada :)
I'm debating what to cook on Sunday, the day most people actually prepare Thanksgiving dinner, as I've got my son with me starting tonight. Last year we ended up at his mom's for family dinner and from the sounds of things there is a little tension between my ex and her sister/nephew that has the kids sort of wanting a low key dinner, hence my trying to determine if I go with the old standby ham or try my luck with a turkey.
I've only cooked a turkey once and to be fair I had a lot of help from C so that helped it turn out perfect :-) A nice memory for this holiday.
I'll leave you with this and maybe come back and post something else later this long weekend, no promises.....
Marcus
Wednesday, September 13, 2017
Not One But Two Chance Encounters
Wednesday, September 13/17
So a few weekends past I had the weirdest thing happen to me and wonder if any of you can relate.
I was shopping at Loblaws and at the meat counter getting some fresh cut lunch meats as my son likes to make himself a sandwich when he gets home from classes and I'm partial to fresh lunch meat over the packaged stuff.
After placing my order I was just standing there minding my own business when someone crashed into my shopping cart making me turn around to see who could possibly be o blind as to miss me standing there and I saw a young lad trying to pull back on the cart, a look of pure terror on his face, and then his mom walked up and started to apologize to me while looking down at her son.
I sort of laughed and asked her "How have you been?"
Hearing my voice made her look up at me and smile as she recognized me.
"I'm doing good, just getting some stuff for Evan's birthday party this afternoon" and looked at her son and gently pulled him close.
He asked her who I was and I waited to see what she would say but I think the question flustered her so I took pity and responded for her saying "I know your mom from work, happy birthday"
The deli clerk told me my order was ready so I reached back and placed it in my cart before looking over at Susan and smiled as she mouthed "thank you" to me and we went our separate ways to finish what we were doing. We crossed paths a few times and each time her son would exclaim "Mommy, there's the man from your work" and we'd laugh.
I finished up and was loading the bags into my car when my cell beeped that I had a new message.
"Marcus, it was so nice to see you, totally caught me off guard, wanted to talk more but you know how little boys get when shopping, let's do drinks ok and catch up?"
"Susan, you were a sight for sore eyes, hope the party is a success, sure you're spoiling Evan"
I met Susan last year in the spring and we hit it off but there were some red flags for me as she developed some serious trust issues from her last boyfriend that sort of clouded how she saw men in her life and made me more than a bit wary of trying to help her deal with them. She is quite successful in life and had her son a little later than she wanted, having gone through several years of procedures before finally going the sperm donor route when she realized her boyfriend wanted no part of kids. Things go so tense between them that he had legal documents drawn up stating that he was not the biological father and had no parental or financial responsibility for any child born to her.
Sounded like a real winner when she told me the story and made me feel kind of bad as being a parent has to be the coolest thing I've ever done, but he was a bit older than Susan and had already done the whole parent thing. When they eventually broke up he went after her for some of the equity in her house, even though he never lived with her or made any contributions towards it's upkeep. Just a money grab plain and simple, but made her question every man's motive that she ended up seeing.
The combination of dealing with my lingering feelings for she who shall remain nameless and Susan's own issues sort of doomed things for us, but I did enjoy our dates and thought that at another time we might have ended up with more but as in real estate so in love does timing matter, unfortunately ours just wasn't in sync at that time.
As I was driving home I stopped to fill the car up with gas for the weekend and literally walked right past a woman who did a double take and than grabbed my arm before hugging me and asking what the hell was up with me.
I laughed at the karma that had brought me into contact with yet someone else I'd briefly dated, well not really dated but met a few times for drinks as we knew the first time we'd met that we weren't really a match for one another but still liked the company of the other person. The funny thing is that about a year after I first met Liz we were sitting in a room at the Kanata Recreation Centre listening to our sons hockey coach outline his plans for the atom team both our sons had been placed on.
Over the course of the next few years we've been parents on a couple of teams and I actually become sort of friends with her ex, though neither of us ever told our respective ex's that we had ever tried dating. Our son's ended up at the same high school and have made a couple of runs to Gatineau to go clubbing with other friends, making it likely we'll be seeing each other a few more times over the next year or so.
I've seen more than a few people I've crossed paths with from dating sights when out and about doing daily activities but never run into two different women that I've dated in the same week let alone the same day. what are the odds?
When I got home my son commented on my good mood and I laughed as I handed him stuff to start putting away and said sometimes karma happens for all the right reasons and makes things interesting. I think he wanted to explore that comment a bit more but he got a call from his sister and was sidetracked, forgetting all about it, luckily for me as I don't think I wanted to admit to having dated one of his friends mom's......somethings are best left unsaid don't you think?
My name is Marcus and I'm taking it one day at a time as I try to be the best father, friend, and person possible as I keep my eyes open for the possibility of meeting the one imperfectly perfect woman for me.
Today's musical recommendation is "Find Me" by Kings of Leon
So a few weekends past I had the weirdest thing happen to me and wonder if any of you can relate.
I was shopping at Loblaws and at the meat counter getting some fresh cut lunch meats as my son likes to make himself a sandwich when he gets home from classes and I'm partial to fresh lunch meat over the packaged stuff.
After placing my order I was just standing there minding my own business when someone crashed into my shopping cart making me turn around to see who could possibly be o blind as to miss me standing there and I saw a young lad trying to pull back on the cart, a look of pure terror on his face, and then his mom walked up and started to apologize to me while looking down at her son.
I sort of laughed and asked her "How have you been?"
Hearing my voice made her look up at me and smile as she recognized me.
"I'm doing good, just getting some stuff for Evan's birthday party this afternoon" and looked at her son and gently pulled him close.
He asked her who I was and I waited to see what she would say but I think the question flustered her so I took pity and responded for her saying "I know your mom from work, happy birthday"
The deli clerk told me my order was ready so I reached back and placed it in my cart before looking over at Susan and smiled as she mouthed "thank you" to me and we went our separate ways to finish what we were doing. We crossed paths a few times and each time her son would exclaim "Mommy, there's the man from your work" and we'd laugh.
I finished up and was loading the bags into my car when my cell beeped that I had a new message.
"Marcus, it was so nice to see you, totally caught me off guard, wanted to talk more but you know how little boys get when shopping, let's do drinks ok and catch up?"
"Susan, you were a sight for sore eyes, hope the party is a success, sure you're spoiling Evan"
I met Susan last year in the spring and we hit it off but there were some red flags for me as she developed some serious trust issues from her last boyfriend that sort of clouded how she saw men in her life and made me more than a bit wary of trying to help her deal with them. She is quite successful in life and had her son a little later than she wanted, having gone through several years of procedures before finally going the sperm donor route when she realized her boyfriend wanted no part of kids. Things go so tense between them that he had legal documents drawn up stating that he was not the biological father and had no parental or financial responsibility for any child born to her.
Sounded like a real winner when she told me the story and made me feel kind of bad as being a parent has to be the coolest thing I've ever done, but he was a bit older than Susan and had already done the whole parent thing. When they eventually broke up he went after her for some of the equity in her house, even though he never lived with her or made any contributions towards it's upkeep. Just a money grab plain and simple, but made her question every man's motive that she ended up seeing.
The combination of dealing with my lingering feelings for she who shall remain nameless and Susan's own issues sort of doomed things for us, but I did enjoy our dates and thought that at another time we might have ended up with more but as in real estate so in love does timing matter, unfortunately ours just wasn't in sync at that time.
As I was driving home I stopped to fill the car up with gas for the weekend and literally walked right past a woman who did a double take and than grabbed my arm before hugging me and asking what the hell was up with me.
I laughed at the karma that had brought me into contact with yet someone else I'd briefly dated, well not really dated but met a few times for drinks as we knew the first time we'd met that we weren't really a match for one another but still liked the company of the other person. The funny thing is that about a year after I first met Liz we were sitting in a room at the Kanata Recreation Centre listening to our sons hockey coach outline his plans for the atom team both our sons had been placed on.
Over the course of the next few years we've been parents on a couple of teams and I actually become sort of friends with her ex, though neither of us ever told our respective ex's that we had ever tried dating. Our son's ended up at the same high school and have made a couple of runs to Gatineau to go clubbing with other friends, making it likely we'll be seeing each other a few more times over the next year or so.
I've seen more than a few people I've crossed paths with from dating sights when out and about doing daily activities but never run into two different women that I've dated in the same week let alone the same day. what are the odds?
When I got home my son commented on my good mood and I laughed as I handed him stuff to start putting away and said sometimes karma happens for all the right reasons and makes things interesting. I think he wanted to explore that comment a bit more but he got a call from his sister and was sidetracked, forgetting all about it, luckily for me as I don't think I wanted to admit to having dated one of his friends mom's......somethings are best left unsaid don't you think?
My name is Marcus and I'm taking it one day at a time as I try to be the best father, friend, and person possible as I keep my eyes open for the possibility of meeting the one imperfectly perfect woman for me.
Today's musical recommendation is "Find Me" by Kings of Leon
Monday, September 4, 2017
Double 5's
Monday, September 04/17
So last Thursday was one of those momentous birthday's we all have at one point or another.
Now I've already hit several of these along the way like my 18th and getting to vote, my 21st and getting to legally buy alcohol, my 30th, my 40th, my 45th though for the life of me I can't really understand why that one is such a milestone, my 50th, and now the big 55.
I don't really feel all that much different now than I did before, and I know it is sort of a cliché that you are only as old as you feel but I'm still feeling a hell of lot younger than 55.
Yes, my back gets sore a lot sooner these days after playing golf 2-3 days in a row and my vision isn't what it used to be but other than that I'm not feeling all that old.
Not sure why that is the case but I'm not going to complain one little bit.
I played a round at The Marshes, my new favourite course, and was matched up a father & son that couldn't have worked out better if the golf God's had intervened themselves.
They were from Guelph and had driven up to get the son settled at university, the exact same one my own son will be starting tomorrow, so I was able to talk to them about what the first year will be like for him. Turns out the son is a 5th year in the business school and a member of the golf team, it showed during his play as he was 2 under for his round in a some pretty fierce winds.
I really enjoyed listening to them tease each other, the banter about target lines and club selections, and just came away from my round feeling pretty damn good. It was like getting an extra birthday gift :)
Golf was followed up with a visit to see my grandson who spent the next 2 hours using my hands as leverage to get up and walk around the house and Toys-R-Us. My daughter joked that it was my birthday but baby Jack was the one getting presents from grandpa.
My son and I met the daughter, fiancé, and grandson for dinner at La Cucina, somewhere I'd meant to try a couple of years ago but didn't get the chance due to unforeseen circumstances, and not only was the food superb but the staff went out of their way to accommodate us and make Jack comfortable, something that sticks with me and makes me have no hesitation about recommending them to anyone and everyone I come across.
My future son-in-law ordered some shots and was trying to get me a little blitzed. My son was a tad upset as he had to be the designated driver for pops but we reminded him he'll get his turn in January when we're down in Mexico for the wedding :).
The night ended with me and the son watching the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol2 Blu Ray he got me for my birthday. He also got me a gift card to Golf Town that I used on Sunday to buy a very nice Under Armour pull over that I wore playing golf today.
I got lots of birthday wishes on Facebook from friends and a really nice message from my ex that reminded me once again what a good person she is and how much of a positive impact she'd had in my life.
I would have loved to end the night with a text from a partner but we can't get everything we want right? Maybe next year that one will come true, fingers crossed.
My name is Marcus and at 55 I'm starting to wonder if I need to change my tag line and begin to accept that I might not have a perfectly imperfect mate out there waiting to bump into me........
So last Thursday was one of those momentous birthday's we all have at one point or another.
Now I've already hit several of these along the way like my 18th and getting to vote, my 21st and getting to legally buy alcohol, my 30th, my 40th, my 45th though for the life of me I can't really understand why that one is such a milestone, my 50th, and now the big 55.
I don't really feel all that much different now than I did before, and I know it is sort of a cliché that you are only as old as you feel but I'm still feeling a hell of lot younger than 55.
Yes, my back gets sore a lot sooner these days after playing golf 2-3 days in a row and my vision isn't what it used to be but other than that I'm not feeling all that old.
Not sure why that is the case but I'm not going to complain one little bit.
I played a round at The Marshes, my new favourite course, and was matched up a father & son that couldn't have worked out better if the golf God's had intervened themselves.
They were from Guelph and had driven up to get the son settled at university, the exact same one my own son will be starting tomorrow, so I was able to talk to them about what the first year will be like for him. Turns out the son is a 5th year in the business school and a member of the golf team, it showed during his play as he was 2 under for his round in a some pretty fierce winds.
I really enjoyed listening to them tease each other, the banter about target lines and club selections, and just came away from my round feeling pretty damn good. It was like getting an extra birthday gift :)
Golf was followed up with a visit to see my grandson who spent the next 2 hours using my hands as leverage to get up and walk around the house and Toys-R-Us. My daughter joked that it was my birthday but baby Jack was the one getting presents from grandpa.
My son and I met the daughter, fiancé, and grandson for dinner at La Cucina, somewhere I'd meant to try a couple of years ago but didn't get the chance due to unforeseen circumstances, and not only was the food superb but the staff went out of their way to accommodate us and make Jack comfortable, something that sticks with me and makes me have no hesitation about recommending them to anyone and everyone I come across.
My future son-in-law ordered some shots and was trying to get me a little blitzed. My son was a tad upset as he had to be the designated driver for pops but we reminded him he'll get his turn in January when we're down in Mexico for the wedding :).
The night ended with me and the son watching the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol2 Blu Ray he got me for my birthday. He also got me a gift card to Golf Town that I used on Sunday to buy a very nice Under Armour pull over that I wore playing golf today.
I got lots of birthday wishes on Facebook from friends and a really nice message from my ex that reminded me once again what a good person she is and how much of a positive impact she'd had in my life.
I would have loved to end the night with a text from a partner but we can't get everything we want right? Maybe next year that one will come true, fingers crossed.
My name is Marcus and at 55 I'm starting to wonder if I need to change my tag line and begin to accept that I might not have a perfectly imperfect mate out there waiting to bump into me........
Saturday, September 2, 2017
Golf, Soccer, Golf, Soccer, and more Golf
September 02/17
So last weekend was sort of a warm up for my long Labour Day weekend and it went mostly as I expected with one small blip.
I've been booking off almost every Friday this past month in order to use my accumulated vacation as well as to get in as much golf as possible before the season comes to an end. I'm hearing that we can expect some warmer than usual weather through the middle of November but I'm not counting on it, not given the summer we've had.
My son was at cottage and due home early Friday evening as his soccer tournament kicked off on Saturday so I played a round at Pakenham to see how the recent decision to move solely to my Nike Vapor 3 Wood off the tee was going to play out given I've suddenly lost the ability to hit my Vapor driver with any kind of consistency, well that it's not quite true as I'm consistently hitting everything low and to the left.
I totally shanked my first shot off the tee on the Canyon Course and then managed to settle down and play some serious golf going 9 over through the first 8 holes before managing to double the long par 5 that runs as a severe dog leg left. I played the Lake Course for my back 9 and doubled both of the first two holes before once again settling down to play the final seven holes at 7 over for another 11 over par on that stretch. All told I was 22 over, which puts me 4 over my goal of playing bogey golf and feeling not too bad until I looked back at my stats per hole and realized I had 9 holes where I 3 putted and that cost me breaking 90!! 3 putting is like knowing how to read and suddenly not recognizing every 3 word in a book, you can still understand the story but it is a struggle and leaves you feeling sort of unfilled.
Saturday morning was all about soccer and watching my son play in what was his last teen recreational tournament. His team has not played to it's capabilities all season but the hope was that they could rise above it all and make a run to the playoffs on Sunday. They were drawn 1-1 in a piss poorly called game that actually saw me issued a red card for questioning the calls or lack of from the referee. I thought for sure it was going to upset my son and/or my ex but he gave me a thumbs up as I was walking towards the parking lot and his mother smiled at me and said I just beat her to it, with my daughter holding my grandson and telling him "Jack, that's your grandpa and he rocks!"
I was talking with the coach after the game when the convener came up and asked about the parent who got tossed from the game and he sort of stood in front of me and said he didn't know who it was as he was focused on the game, making me laugh and confess it was me, she asked me what happened and I explained the whole thing, I've coached when she has convened so she knows I'm not one to lightly question a ref, and she asked me to talk to the clubs head referee and outline my concerns as she was in complete agreement with my questioning him. To shorten this part down a part lets just say he was removed from doing any more games involving our age division as he had clearly shown bias in his calls.
The boys than met the 1st place team in the second game and were soundly thrashed 6-0!! Nothing more to say than the score tells the complete story.
We went into the 3rd game needing a win if we hoped to advance and after conceding a goal less than 2 minutes in on a play the goalie just quit on made things look bleak. That is until my son decided enough was enough and made two fantastic runs to net 2 goals just before the half ended. The only blemish in the half was the linesman on our side of the pitch made some horrendous offside calls that were based on where the player was when he received the pass and not where he was when it was initiated. As the second half started my son picked up where he left off and scored his third goal only to have it waved off by the linesman on another bad call as he'd been onside by a good two yards.
The referee, to his credit, pointed to the centre of the pitch signaling a goal and walked over to the linesman to talk to him when he saw me sitting there, smiled at me, pointed to the linesman and told me to explain to him to the correct application of the rule, instructing the linesman to pay attention and follow my words carefully. As I walked over to talk to him some of the parents from the other team voiced some concern to the referee and he explained he'd seen me coaching for 10+ years and I probably knew the rules better than about 95% of the referees in Ottawa. I looked at one mom and smiled as I told her I'd actually been arguing against two call that went against her sons team and she laughed and told me to carry on lol We ended up winning 4-1 and secured a rematch on Sunday with the team that beat us down 6-0
My son went to spend the afternoon with his girlfriend after her shift ended so back to golf I went and managed to get in 18 at Sttitsville, shooting a nice 92 until I realized I had another 3 3 putts and another blown sub 90 round.
Sunday's game was at 9 and everyone came out to watch. There were 4 generations watching as my former mother-in-law was there along with my ex, our daughter, and grandson. A very cool sight to behold in my opinion.
The game was nothing like Saturdays blood bath as the lads were feeling it and managed to control the ball for the most of the game but just couldn't manage to get one past Green's goalie, though my son had a chance in the dying moments and just glanced it off the cross bar. The game ended in a 0-0 draw so off to penalty kicks we went, the ending every coach hates as it's so random.
My son was first up for us and slotted home a perfect shot to put us up 1-0 but that was all there was to be as the next three shooters for Green scored and none of his teammates could find the back of the net so down we went on penalty kicks 3-1. They boys were happy to end on a good note and thought they did pretty well all things considered. My son was glad to be done as had they won they'd have faced the Orange team that was literally a class above everyone else in the league, they'd go on to dominate Green that afternoon in a 5-0 championship game.
My Sunday was now free and my son was off to see the girlfriend so off to golf I went once more.
I managed a time at Sttitsville once again, helps to be a member, and as I played the first two holes was really struggling to hit any decent shots and not really feeling totally in sync.
As I walked down the long par 5 second I remembered being told there was a tournament just finishing up on the back nine and glanced over to watch some carts drive down the 15th and noticed it was a couples tournament as every foursome was a pair of couples.
That made me feel incredibly sad and kind of jealous as I think it would be so cool to have a partner who golfs, one thing we could do together, not something I've ever experienced before though I will say I came close with C, no not a ramble about my lost love so relax, as she used to like to come drive the cart sometimes when I played and I loved those moments on the course with my partner.
I think these thoughts sort of derailed my game as I played no better than double bogey on every hole and called it quits after finishing my front 9, something I've only done in the past when my back stiffened up on me back in late 2015.
I can honestly say it was a great weekend, Sunday's round notwithstanding, and good preparation for the Labour Day weekend which was made into a 5 day weekend with some last minute changes.
But that is a post for another day :)
My name is Marcus and these now infrequent posts are my attempt to share my thoughts about being single in my 50's, trying to be more open to dating, being the best father and grandfather I can, and possibly meeting the one who is imperfectly perfect for me.
Today's musical suggestion is "Figures" by Jesse Reyez
So last weekend was sort of a warm up for my long Labour Day weekend and it went mostly as I expected with one small blip.
I've been booking off almost every Friday this past month in order to use my accumulated vacation as well as to get in as much golf as possible before the season comes to an end. I'm hearing that we can expect some warmer than usual weather through the middle of November but I'm not counting on it, not given the summer we've had.
My son was at cottage and due home early Friday evening as his soccer tournament kicked off on Saturday so I played a round at Pakenham to see how the recent decision to move solely to my Nike Vapor 3 Wood off the tee was going to play out given I've suddenly lost the ability to hit my Vapor driver with any kind of consistency, well that it's not quite true as I'm consistently hitting everything low and to the left.
I totally shanked my first shot off the tee on the Canyon Course and then managed to settle down and play some serious golf going 9 over through the first 8 holes before managing to double the long par 5 that runs as a severe dog leg left. I played the Lake Course for my back 9 and doubled both of the first two holes before once again settling down to play the final seven holes at 7 over for another 11 over par on that stretch. All told I was 22 over, which puts me 4 over my goal of playing bogey golf and feeling not too bad until I looked back at my stats per hole and realized I had 9 holes where I 3 putted and that cost me breaking 90!! 3 putting is like knowing how to read and suddenly not recognizing every 3 word in a book, you can still understand the story but it is a struggle and leaves you feeling sort of unfilled.
Saturday morning was all about soccer and watching my son play in what was his last teen recreational tournament. His team has not played to it's capabilities all season but the hope was that they could rise above it all and make a run to the playoffs on Sunday. They were drawn 1-1 in a piss poorly called game that actually saw me issued a red card for questioning the calls or lack of from the referee. I thought for sure it was going to upset my son and/or my ex but he gave me a thumbs up as I was walking towards the parking lot and his mother smiled at me and said I just beat her to it, with my daughter holding my grandson and telling him "Jack, that's your grandpa and he rocks!"
I was talking with the coach after the game when the convener came up and asked about the parent who got tossed from the game and he sort of stood in front of me and said he didn't know who it was as he was focused on the game, making me laugh and confess it was me, she asked me what happened and I explained the whole thing, I've coached when she has convened so she knows I'm not one to lightly question a ref, and she asked me to talk to the clubs head referee and outline my concerns as she was in complete agreement with my questioning him. To shorten this part down a part lets just say he was removed from doing any more games involving our age division as he had clearly shown bias in his calls.
The boys than met the 1st place team in the second game and were soundly thrashed 6-0!! Nothing more to say than the score tells the complete story.
We went into the 3rd game needing a win if we hoped to advance and after conceding a goal less than 2 minutes in on a play the goalie just quit on made things look bleak. That is until my son decided enough was enough and made two fantastic runs to net 2 goals just before the half ended. The only blemish in the half was the linesman on our side of the pitch made some horrendous offside calls that were based on where the player was when he received the pass and not where he was when it was initiated. As the second half started my son picked up where he left off and scored his third goal only to have it waved off by the linesman on another bad call as he'd been onside by a good two yards.
The referee, to his credit, pointed to the centre of the pitch signaling a goal and walked over to the linesman to talk to him when he saw me sitting there, smiled at me, pointed to the linesman and told me to explain to him to the correct application of the rule, instructing the linesman to pay attention and follow my words carefully. As I walked over to talk to him some of the parents from the other team voiced some concern to the referee and he explained he'd seen me coaching for 10+ years and I probably knew the rules better than about 95% of the referees in Ottawa. I looked at one mom and smiled as I told her I'd actually been arguing against two call that went against her sons team and she laughed and told me to carry on lol We ended up winning 4-1 and secured a rematch on Sunday with the team that beat us down 6-0
My son went to spend the afternoon with his girlfriend after her shift ended so back to golf I went and managed to get in 18 at Sttitsville, shooting a nice 92 until I realized I had another 3 3 putts and another blown sub 90 round.
Sunday's game was at 9 and everyone came out to watch. There were 4 generations watching as my former mother-in-law was there along with my ex, our daughter, and grandson. A very cool sight to behold in my opinion.
The game was nothing like Saturdays blood bath as the lads were feeling it and managed to control the ball for the most of the game but just couldn't manage to get one past Green's goalie, though my son had a chance in the dying moments and just glanced it off the cross bar. The game ended in a 0-0 draw so off to penalty kicks we went, the ending every coach hates as it's so random.
My son was first up for us and slotted home a perfect shot to put us up 1-0 but that was all there was to be as the next three shooters for Green scored and none of his teammates could find the back of the net so down we went on penalty kicks 3-1. They boys were happy to end on a good note and thought they did pretty well all things considered. My son was glad to be done as had they won they'd have faced the Orange team that was literally a class above everyone else in the league, they'd go on to dominate Green that afternoon in a 5-0 championship game.
My Sunday was now free and my son was off to see the girlfriend so off to golf I went once more.
I managed a time at Sttitsville once again, helps to be a member, and as I played the first two holes was really struggling to hit any decent shots and not really feeling totally in sync.
As I walked down the long par 5 second I remembered being told there was a tournament just finishing up on the back nine and glanced over to watch some carts drive down the 15th and noticed it was a couples tournament as every foursome was a pair of couples.
That made me feel incredibly sad and kind of jealous as I think it would be so cool to have a partner who golfs, one thing we could do together, not something I've ever experienced before though I will say I came close with C, no not a ramble about my lost love so relax, as she used to like to come drive the cart sometimes when I played and I loved those moments on the course with my partner.
I think these thoughts sort of derailed my game as I played no better than double bogey on every hole and called it quits after finishing my front 9, something I've only done in the past when my back stiffened up on me back in late 2015.
I can honestly say it was a great weekend, Sunday's round notwithstanding, and good preparation for the Labour Day weekend which was made into a 5 day weekend with some last minute changes.
But that is a post for another day :)
My name is Marcus and these now infrequent posts are my attempt to share my thoughts about being single in my 50's, trying to be more open to dating, being the best father and grandfather I can, and possibly meeting the one who is imperfectly perfect for me.
Today's musical suggestion is "Figures" by Jesse Reyez
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
A little on my take concerning posts
Tuesday, August 22/17
In my mind the blog is a snapshot into the interactions and thoughts that I may have on a day to day basis, thus some might be very short, almost anecdotal in nature, and some might be longer as I attempt to explain something and flesh out a response, either reviewing my own or eliciting one from you the reader.
Some have been of a very personal nature and some just a causal observation that stuck with me and made me want to share it.
I don't believe I've ever just done an entry that was fluff or to get something posted, you'll never see an entry about me seeing a guy riding a unicycle and that is all I say, not anything like that, but you might see something like me observing a family out biking and noticing all the kids wearing helmets but not the parents, a perfect case of do what I say and not what I do.....a message those kids might take up years later when they become parents themselves.
Blog posts might just be entertaining and they might be me voicing my social voice over events I see happening around the world - Charlie Hebdo Massacre, Charlottesville Riots, or even my take on the new 24/7 comedy channel called the Trump Presidency.
The blog is nothing more than the ramblings of a white middle class, middle aged man as he stumbles through life watching his daughter begin to raise her own family, his son start that exciting period of life known as university, attempting to consistently hit 90 on the links, all the while searching for the one woman he thinks is imperfectly perfect for himself.
The blog won't make me any money nor will it win me any literary prizes, it probably won't help me find the one, though stranger things have happened, but than none of those were my objective when I started this little project more than 4 years ago and over 400+ entries later. No, it was more just about getting things off my chest in order to maintain a sense of inner emotional balance and hopefully helping others who might be thinking, feeling, or experiencing some of the same things, sort of my way of raising my hand to say you aren't alone in this big scary thing we call life, lets get through it together the best we can and hopefully along the way share a laugh, maybe a tear, and always a smile at the end of the day.
So with that said let me remind you that life is not something to record from the sidelines but rather to be experienced first hand, with all it's twists, ups and downs, to be embraced as much as possible, but to never let just one experience or day define who we are, we are so much more and should never forget that.
My name is Marcus and this is my story for better or worse as told through this blog.
In my mind the blog is a snapshot into the interactions and thoughts that I may have on a day to day basis, thus some might be very short, almost anecdotal in nature, and some might be longer as I attempt to explain something and flesh out a response, either reviewing my own or eliciting one from you the reader.
Some have been of a very personal nature and some just a causal observation that stuck with me and made me want to share it.
I don't believe I've ever just done an entry that was fluff or to get something posted, you'll never see an entry about me seeing a guy riding a unicycle and that is all I say, not anything like that, but you might see something like me observing a family out biking and noticing all the kids wearing helmets but not the parents, a perfect case of do what I say and not what I do.....a message those kids might take up years later when they become parents themselves.
Blog posts might just be entertaining and they might be me voicing my social voice over events I see happening around the world - Charlie Hebdo Massacre, Charlottesville Riots, or even my take on the new 24/7 comedy channel called the Trump Presidency.
The blog is nothing more than the ramblings of a white middle class, middle aged man as he stumbles through life watching his daughter begin to raise her own family, his son start that exciting period of life known as university, attempting to consistently hit 90 on the links, all the while searching for the one woman he thinks is imperfectly perfect for himself.
The blog won't make me any money nor will it win me any literary prizes, it probably won't help me find the one, though stranger things have happened, but than none of those were my objective when I started this little project more than 4 years ago and over 400+ entries later. No, it was more just about getting things off my chest in order to maintain a sense of inner emotional balance and hopefully helping others who might be thinking, feeling, or experiencing some of the same things, sort of my way of raising my hand to say you aren't alone in this big scary thing we call life, lets get through it together the best we can and hopefully along the way share a laugh, maybe a tear, and always a smile at the end of the day.
So with that said let me remind you that life is not something to record from the sidelines but rather to be experienced first hand, with all it's twists, ups and downs, to be embraced as much as possible, but to never let just one experience or day define who we are, we are so much more and should never forget that.
My name is Marcus and this is my story for better or worse as told through this blog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)