ZFG

Monday, March 06/17

So from almost day one of this blog I've pretty much had the same ending tag line and think it pretty much represents how I perceive myself and how I hope others see me.

"My name is Marcus and these are my ongoing adventures as a single dad, friend, golfer, and the search for my one, not the perfect one but the imperfectly perfect one for me :)" or some combination of words that convey this message at the end of almost every blog entry.

I do so in an attempt to remind people what is important to me and the order of that importance.

My family comes first and foremost, as it should for any person who reads this blog, by that I mean your family should come first to you and not necessarily my family, but by all means if you'd like to help out with some university tuition come this September than feel free to drop me a line and we can discuss things offline.

I don't have a tonne of friends and that's by choice, mostly theirs. But for those I do call friend and they actually call me that back, well I've you covered and will literally come bail your ass out of jail any time of the day or night, unless it's 6:45 am on a Saturday in the summer and than you are on your own as that is going to interfere with my tee time, but any other time is good so just use that call on me buddy.

Golf, seriously, you need me to explain that one after all the blogs I've written about my unrequited love for the game, nay my addiction to the sport.

My ongoing search for the one who is imperfectly perfect for me. Well given my recent reticence about putting myself out there on the off chance I actually do meet her, notice the choice of gender here folks as it says quite a bit about my preference in a future mate, unless you are Ryan Reynolds and willing to leave Blake Lively for a middle aged white male, than I'm game to bat for the home team, just kidding, always have and always will be batting for the visiting team as I like how they laugh, smell, smile, and feel.

So all this to say I think it paints a pretty good picture of me, without actually showing you my picture as that would just be too weird.

I never imagined my tag line would be offensive to any of my readers but based on a message I received last night it seems like I was wrong.

Yes, Maria from Seattle, I'm publicly responding to your email questioning my right to call myself a single dad.

Seems like Maria doesn't feel that I should refer to myself as a single dad since I don't have full custody of my son, but rather share him with his amazing mom. I wonder if she would take offense if my ex wrote a blog and referred to herself as a single mom while being in the same custodial arrangement that we are right now. Kind of doubt she would but than it's easy to bash a man for taking some pride in being there for his kids 24/7 365 whether they are with him or not.

Why is ok for one gender to refer to themselves as a single parent but it's not ok for the other gender to do so? Double standard being applied hard at work I'd say.

Let me set you straight Maria.  First and foremost I'm a parent. Whether my kids are with me or my ex, I am always a parent and have them in my thoughts.

But the way our custody arrangement is worded we literally are like a single parent the week we have our son as we have sole legal responsibility to make all decisions that effect our son. Now granted we almost always consult one another and make decisions jointly but there have been occasions when that wasn't possible and one of us had to make some tough decisions on their own.

So when I think of myself it is always in the mind set of a single parent. I'm lucky that I don't carry that on my shoulders 100% of the time but that is always an option when he is with me or with his mom.

So I know you were hoping to get a rise out of me but here's the issue I have with you and those who would question any parent for calling themselves a single parent.........

I ran out of fucks to give small minded people like yourself back in the summer of '05 when you try and drag me down in the quagmire you call a life.

So to make it as plain as possible for you.......I have zero fucks to give about you and your opinion!

You know whose opinion matters to me? My sons, my daughters, and to some extent my ex's.

My name is Marcus and these are my trials and tribulations as a single parent, friend, golfer and the search for my ever elusive one.