Texts from Moki

Wednesday, March 02/16

So it's another wintery day in Ottawa and I'm working from home today to avoid the roads and get some work done for month end. My son had to go to school as the buses were running so he's not happy but dad is doing just fine.

I as sat down at the PC to start working I noticed Moki looking a little smug and figure she has it in her to try and disturb me in a bit in order to get some attention. That got me to thinking what kind of texts she'd send me when I was at work if she had her own cell phone.........

Come home. There's an emergency
    What??  Are you ok?
My food bowl is half empty.
    I'll be home soon.
You wish starvation upon me.
    Stop being so dramatic.
Am weeeak. Caan hasrdly type.
    Goodbye


Help me.
    What's wrong?
I stepped on a sticker.
    Pull it off with your teeth.
I'm scared. And now I'm walking funny
    I'm getting in the shower. You'll have to wait.
I've seen your pasty body.
    You're waiting for sure.
Heartless


Tyson is impregnating me!
    Excuse me?
Provoking me! The stupid dog is provoking me and I'm ready to poop with frustration
Pop! This autocorrect is the bane of my existence
    Moki, take a nap
Don't you dare belittle me. Why don't you try typing on this tiny keyboard with paws! Goodbye.


A squirrel is staring at me through the front window
    So?
I think he's part of a gang
    He's curious
I'm curious. He's maniacal
His cheeks are stuffed with rage
    Nuts
YOU'RE nuts
    No, his cheeks are stuffed with nuts.
Oh, my response still stands


We need to change vets.
    I just got off the phone to the vet. STOP TEXTING HER
OMFG I just asked about an injection
    "Inject me with adamantium so I can be the dog version of Wolverine"
I see no problem with that sentence


You're home!!!
    Nope
I heard a car door!!
    Wasn't me
Got all excited
    Sorry
Shouting at the front door
    Calm down
Can't. Stuck in bat shit crazy mode


Fun day. Ran around the house in a cape. I'm Batdog lol
    Where did you get the cape?
I think role playing helps alleviate my boredom. I feel so alive x
    WHERE DID YOU GET THE CAPE?
I pulled the curtain rail down. Jesus, why can't you just be happy for me?


I think my dog needs therapy..............