Sunday, March 26/17
So my son came home last Saturday from his week in Europe and I can't begin to say how happy I was to see him after almost 2 weeks.
I know many of you will say to yourself that two weeks isn't that long to be apart and you are right, but I can't help feeling a tad bit lost when I don't see my kids at least once a week. I honestly don't know how C dealt with not seeing her boys as much as she used to when they lived with her and am pretty sure it caused her some inner pain that she never shared with me, not because she thought I wouldn't care or try and help her deal with it but because she was and is a private person.
I only had him for Saturday night as last week was technically his week to be with his mom so I made the most of it by talking to him about his trip as we drove home and over dinner as well.
He had a great time, learned quite a bit about the various cities and regions they visited, and enjoyed sampling new foods, as well as getting to visit Venice and having real Italian pizza once again, his words not mine.
The one somber moment came when he talked about the visit to Dachau.
I won't go into any details other than to say I think that visit made him a better person.
He's always been an empathetic young man but I think this opened his eyes to the world outside of Canada and the evil that man can do when left alone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying evil can't or doesn't exist in Canada but I don't think it exists to the same extent we've seen in other places.
I'm sure aboriginal Canadians will disagree with me but that isn't the topic of this entry today.
His one question to me was "How could this happen dad?"
That has to be one of the toughest questions any parent can ever be asked by their child.
How can such evil exist and do the horrible things it did on such a grand scale.
I told him I would need some time to think about this one as it wasn't a question I felt could be answered off the cuff.
I've thought about it a lot this week knowing it would come up again this weekend when he transitioned back to my place on Friday.
Here is the answer I gave him yesterday as we were sitting at East Side Mario's having lunch.
We are all born without the ability to know right from wrong. One person's right is another person's wrong depending on the view point.
What makes us who we are is the environment from which we develop. Your mother and I have done our best to show you and your sister how to view and treat people. You are for the most part a product of your upbringing and it shows in how much you care for other people.
Even though we are all born without the ability to know right from wrong we are all born with two seeds inside us: goodness and evil.
For the majority of people, that goodness comes to the forefront and lets us become members of our society, but there is a small minority that embrace the evil and all that it offers them. they love the disarray that comes with hurting other people. They appeal to that seed in everyone around them to promote a philosophy knowing that it will only take a few to let that theme catch on.
We are good at hiding and controlling that evil so that it doesn't take over our lives. some better than others but for the most part we manage to control it.
Some people deal with this evil seed by letting it out via a bad temper. My step father was like that and up till I was eighteen I kept my distance and hoped I wouldn't become that which I feared.
Here was a man that would lose his temper at the drop of a hat and respond with violence. Never against me or my mother, well not usually, but rather at things around him. It was not uncommon for him to find something not working out like he wanted and respond by throwing a tool across the room, regardless of who might be around, or smash his fist into a wall. I grew up learning that the appropriate response to something going wrong was to throw things around and swear like there was no tomorrow.
I learned how to behave that way but rejected letting it become my own modus operandi thanks to a inner strength I never knew existed and the influence of my maternal grandfather, a man who showed me how to properly act and behave, a man I miss so much each day, and a man I've tried to emulate as much as possible in how I deal with setbacks in my life.
Man as a species is capable of committing the most horrible acts upon one another. Acts we've come to know by such names as the Rape of Nanjing, Holocaust, Armenian Genocide, Massacre of Rwanda, and the Reign of Pol Pot in Cambodia.
There are others but those stand out from recent history.
There are more than enough acts of goodness to offset those tragedies but they don't make for good news and are never reported.
We are capable of horrific behavior and yet are lucky enough to also be capable of wonderful acts of charity to one another that on the whole move us forward as a society.
When people get scared they react without thinking about the world around them.
Dachau and such camps came about because people were afraid of the world around them and willing to overlook such things as the price to pay for the establishment of order and prosperity in difficult times, times where competing political philosophies battled for supremacy and went against everything they were taught to view as right.
Edmund Burke said it best......."All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing"
More often than not evil triumphs because good is afraid to stand up and be heard, almost as if being good is a bad thing.
Sometimes doing the right thing requires us to be a bit uncomfortable, to stand out, to be seen or heard when all we'd rather do is keep a low profile.
Sometimes I think we've moved past the stage of letting something like Dachau ever happen again only to read about the Rwandan Genocide or the tragedy that became the former Yugoslavia.
Hopefully we can continue to evolve and do the right thing, but until such time as we can do that I guess the burden lies within each of us to continue to fight that good fight and make sure evil can never triumph.........................
Marcus
Sunday, March 26, 2017
Friday, March 17, 2017
Was Wednesday Mother Natures Last Throw of the Die?
Friday, March 17/17
Happy St, Patrick's Day to all of you.
Have you been getting your Irish on today?
So we had a bit of a snowfall on Tuesday night crossing over into Wednesday morning.
How much of a bit you ask?
Well when I got up around 10am I figured Moki needed to go outside and went to let her out only to find my side door was completely snowed shut. You heard me right, I couldn't open the side door as there was about 3 feet of snow on the side deck pinning the door closed.
I had to go out the front door, the one I never use, and literally climb up the snow bank to reach the shovels just inside the gate to the deck and backyard.
Normally this wouldn't be too much of an issue but I'd called in sick that day as I'd been up all night with a severe headache and upset stomach that kept me from getting any rest. So you can imagine just how great shovelling snow for almost 2 hours made me feel on top of everything else........
I think I've mentioned before how Moki has this tendency to run down the deck and leap into the air like a gazelle when she first gets outside in the morning so I thought I'd give you a little visual sample so you could actually see her in flight.
That is Moki the Wonder Puppy testing the law of gravity as she launches herself off the deck does a fair imitation of a belly flop into the snow.
See all that snow the left? Well none of it was there when I left for work on Tuesday morning!!!
So now that I've teased you with a picture bet you are wondering when I'll post one of myself, well don't hold your collective breath on that one folks as I do value my privacy but even more important, I value my children's even more and am quite protective of keeping them out of the limelight, such as it might be.
On that note, my son comes home from his 8+ days in Europe and I can't wait to see him, hear all about his trip, and get his thoughts on the sights he took in while in Germany and Austria.
I'll let you know what he has to say tomorrow or Sunday.
Marcus
Happy St, Patrick's Day to all of you.
Have you been getting your Irish on today?
So we had a bit of a snowfall on Tuesday night crossing over into Wednesday morning.
How much of a bit you ask?
Well when I got up around 10am I figured Moki needed to go outside and went to let her out only to find my side door was completely snowed shut. You heard me right, I couldn't open the side door as there was about 3 feet of snow on the side deck pinning the door closed.
I had to go out the front door, the one I never use, and literally climb up the snow bank to reach the shovels just inside the gate to the deck and backyard.
Normally this wouldn't be too much of an issue but I'd called in sick that day as I'd been up all night with a severe headache and upset stomach that kept me from getting any rest. So you can imagine just how great shovelling snow for almost 2 hours made me feel on top of everything else........
I think I've mentioned before how Moki has this tendency to run down the deck and leap into the air like a gazelle when she first gets outside in the morning so I thought I'd give you a little visual sample so you could actually see her in flight.
That is Moki the Wonder Puppy testing the law of gravity as she launches herself off the deck does a fair imitation of a belly flop into the snow.
See all that snow the left? Well none of it was there when I left for work on Tuesday morning!!!
So now that I've teased you with a picture bet you are wondering when I'll post one of myself, well don't hold your collective breath on that one folks as I do value my privacy but even more important, I value my children's even more and am quite protective of keeping them out of the limelight, such as it might be.
On that note, my son comes home from his 8+ days in Europe and I can't wait to see him, hear all about his trip, and get his thoughts on the sights he took in while in Germany and Austria.
I'll let you know what he has to say tomorrow or Sunday.
Marcus
Thursday, March 16, 2017
Been Under the Weather
Thursday, March 16/17
Sorry for the lack of posts the past few days but I've been under the weather and not really up for much of anything, well really other than sleeping and trying to reassure Moki that the world isn't coming to an end lol
I promise to start posting tomorrow and might even have a little treat for the readers.........
Marcus
Sorry for the lack of posts the past few days but I've been under the weather and not really up for much of anything, well really other than sleeping and trying to reassure Moki that the world isn't coming to an end lol
I promise to start posting tomorrow and might even have a little treat for the readers.........
Marcus
Sunday, March 12, 2017
WORDS
Sunday, March 12/17
Word is defined in the dictionary as a unit of language, consisting of one or more spoken sounds or their written representation, that functions as a principal carrier of meaning.
A word can be a beautiful gift or it can be a devastating weapon.
A single word can make a person feel alive, as if anything is possible, or it can leave one feeling despondent, as if there is no reason to continue on.
Some people understand the power of words and use them sparingly in order to keep a person from feeling too great a sense of self importance or to spare them the pain from knowing how they are really viewed by the people around them.
Some people use words to improve their own lot in life without any thought to the impact those words may have, not only to the person they are communicated to but to themselves as well when they come to understand the price those words will demand later on.
Words can be spoken or written.
They can be whispered so only a single person hears them, they can spoken softly to keep them within a select group, or they can be shouted as loud as possible so everyone can hear them and feel the impact.
Words can be written down and shared or written down and kept secret. My blog is shared and possibly your diary or journal is kept private, allowing you to revisit them at a later date to experience once more some emotion when the time is right.
I've had wonderful words spoken to me, whispered in my ear, shared about me with others.
I've heard words that have left me emotionally drained, ready to scream at the world in anger, and words that made me cry, that left me dazed and confused.
"I love you"
"Your my best friend"
"Playing for you has made me not only a better player but a better person too"
"Your work these past few months has been so dead on and really helped us meet our objectives"
"This isn't working, I think we need to move on"
"You'll never amount to anything in life"
"You are too stupid to realize how ugly you are"
"You just don't turn me on anymore"
"You will die alone and that makes me so happy"
are examples of words I've heard over the course of my life. Some nice, some pretty harsh, but all viewed as the truth by one person or another when they spoke them.
I understand the power of words and have tried my best to always think about my choice in words before ever uttering them out loud to another person.
Once spoken, you can never take them back, you might be forgiven for something you've said, but they'll never be forgotten, ever.
I think my point here is that we all need to take that extra moment and understand how the words we might say could be conveyed and the impact they'll have on the other person.
I know I do my best to use positive words when dealing with my kids as I always want them to feel good inside when they hear them, that's not to say we haven't had some hard talks in the past, and will again in the future, but I do my best to down play the negative and highlight ways to change for the better. That's my job after all as a parent.
My name is Marcus and words have meaning to me. It's my greatest desire to hear the best three words ever combined to make a heart skip a beat.......I love you
I think it appropriate that today's musical suggestions is "Words" by Missing Persons
Word is defined in the dictionary as a unit of language, consisting of one or more spoken sounds or their written representation, that functions as a principal carrier of meaning.
A word can be a beautiful gift or it can be a devastating weapon.
A single word can make a person feel alive, as if anything is possible, or it can leave one feeling despondent, as if there is no reason to continue on.
Some people understand the power of words and use them sparingly in order to keep a person from feeling too great a sense of self importance or to spare them the pain from knowing how they are really viewed by the people around them.
Some people use words to improve their own lot in life without any thought to the impact those words may have, not only to the person they are communicated to but to themselves as well when they come to understand the price those words will demand later on.
Words can be spoken or written.
They can be whispered so only a single person hears them, they can spoken softly to keep them within a select group, or they can be shouted as loud as possible so everyone can hear them and feel the impact.
Words can be written down and shared or written down and kept secret. My blog is shared and possibly your diary or journal is kept private, allowing you to revisit them at a later date to experience once more some emotion when the time is right.
I've had wonderful words spoken to me, whispered in my ear, shared about me with others.
I've heard words that have left me emotionally drained, ready to scream at the world in anger, and words that made me cry, that left me dazed and confused.
"I love you"
"Your my best friend"
"Playing for you has made me not only a better player but a better person too"
"Your work these past few months has been so dead on and really helped us meet our objectives"
"This isn't working, I think we need to move on"
"You'll never amount to anything in life"
"You are too stupid to realize how ugly you are"
"You just don't turn me on anymore"
"You will die alone and that makes me so happy"
are examples of words I've heard over the course of my life. Some nice, some pretty harsh, but all viewed as the truth by one person or another when they spoke them.
I understand the power of words and have tried my best to always think about my choice in words before ever uttering them out loud to another person.
Once spoken, you can never take them back, you might be forgiven for something you've said, but they'll never be forgotten, ever.
I think my point here is that we all need to take that extra moment and understand how the words we might say could be conveyed and the impact they'll have on the other person.
I know I do my best to use positive words when dealing with my kids as I always want them to feel good inside when they hear them, that's not to say we haven't had some hard talks in the past, and will again in the future, but I do my best to down play the negative and highlight ways to change for the better. That's my job after all as a parent.
My name is Marcus and words have meaning to me. It's my greatest desire to hear the best three words ever combined to make a heart skip a beat.......I love you
I think it appropriate that today's musical suggestions is "Words" by Missing Persons
Friday, March 10, 2017
TGIF
Friday, March 10/17
So here we are at the weekend and a good one it promises to be!!
I'm meeting up with Andrew for a late lunch and cold one tomorrow afternoon down at Lansdowne Park after spending the morning with my most awesome grandson Baby Jack, of course I'll see Jack's mom and dad as well but lets face it, that young man will be grandpa's focus :)
I was texting with my son this afternoon and it sounds like he is doing good, had his first German lunch, and was getting ready to hit the sheets as they have a 6am wake up call for the morning, sounds like he is enjoying the sights and likes the medieval architecture of the small town they are staying at on the way to Munich.
We change the clocks tomorrow night before bed and that can only mean that golf is not that far off becoming a reality once more.
Yes, I've been practicing my putting in the basement and going over my clubs and bag. One can never be too prepared now can one.
I've gotten some responses to the last couple of blog postings and will share them with you over the weekend. They pretty much went the way I thought they would so no major surprises.
Well, maybe with the exception of my new favorite Internet troll, Maria from Seattle lol
That woman has taken a very intense dislike to me and is like a dog with a bone, just unwilling to let go and get on with her life. The funny thing is she actually thinks that somehow I'm going to change my ways based on her venom, she is so in for a shock as I'm going to keep on being me, posting about the things that I find interesting, and the hell with anyone who doesn't like it. I mean you do always have the option of not following the blog right, not going to cost me anything as I'm not paid to do this gig.
Ten days down in my Lent sacrifice and so far so good. I've been posting more regularly and it feels great.
Marcus
So here we are at the weekend and a good one it promises to be!!
I'm meeting up with Andrew for a late lunch and cold one tomorrow afternoon down at Lansdowne Park after spending the morning with my most awesome grandson Baby Jack, of course I'll see Jack's mom and dad as well but lets face it, that young man will be grandpa's focus :)
I was texting with my son this afternoon and it sounds like he is doing good, had his first German lunch, and was getting ready to hit the sheets as they have a 6am wake up call for the morning, sounds like he is enjoying the sights and likes the medieval architecture of the small town they are staying at on the way to Munich.
We change the clocks tomorrow night before bed and that can only mean that golf is not that far off becoming a reality once more.
Yes, I've been practicing my putting in the basement and going over my clubs and bag. One can never be too prepared now can one.
I've gotten some responses to the last couple of blog postings and will share them with you over the weekend. They pretty much went the way I thought they would so no major surprises.
Well, maybe with the exception of my new favorite Internet troll, Maria from Seattle lol
That woman has taken a very intense dislike to me and is like a dog with a bone, just unwilling to let go and get on with her life. The funny thing is she actually thinks that somehow I'm going to change my ways based on her venom, she is so in for a shock as I'm going to keep on being me, posting about the things that I find interesting, and the hell with anyone who doesn't like it. I mean you do always have the option of not following the blog right, not going to cost me anything as I'm not paid to do this gig.
Ten days down in my Lent sacrifice and so far so good. I've been posting more regularly and it feels great.
Marcus
A Big Sigh of Relief
Friday, March 10/17
Happy Friday to everyone and congratulations for making it through another week :-)
My son left yesterday for a nine day school trip through Europe so I imagine you can understand my saying how relieved I felt this morning to get a text from him at 5:45 AM EST letting me know they'd arrived safe and sound at Frankfurt.
Lots of sights to see and I'm hoping he takes it all in and enjoys himself. His biggest thrill is getting to go back to Italy and have some great food while visiting Venice.
They are making a stop to Dachau and I am really interested to hear how this impacted him when he gets home and we have a chance to talk about it. There is German in our gene pool and I have to admit this is the dark spot about having such ancestry, in my own mind at least.
Now before any of you internet trolls start telling me how it was all a hoax let me just say this - shut the fuck up and crawl back under the rock from which your interbred parents spawned you.
It is as real as the other horrible acts man has managed to commit upon himself in the name of one misguided system or another: The Crusades, Pol Pot in Cambodia, Rwanda, Stalin, and the Cultural Revolution to name just a few.
So we won't be having any of that on this channel folks as the moderator, yours truly, has more than half a functioning brain and won't be putting up with any such nonsense.
So now I'm off to work and will be checking my phone every now and again to see just what the worlds greatest son is up to today.
Talk to you later,
Marcus
Happy Friday to everyone and congratulations for making it through another week :-)
My son left yesterday for a nine day school trip through Europe so I imagine you can understand my saying how relieved I felt this morning to get a text from him at 5:45 AM EST letting me know they'd arrived safe and sound at Frankfurt.
Lots of sights to see and I'm hoping he takes it all in and enjoys himself. His biggest thrill is getting to go back to Italy and have some great food while visiting Venice.
They are making a stop to Dachau and I am really interested to hear how this impacted him when he gets home and we have a chance to talk about it. There is German in our gene pool and I have to admit this is the dark spot about having such ancestry, in my own mind at least.
Now before any of you internet trolls start telling me how it was all a hoax let me just say this - shut the fuck up and crawl back under the rock from which your interbred parents spawned you.
It is as real as the other horrible acts man has managed to commit upon himself in the name of one misguided system or another: The Crusades, Pol Pot in Cambodia, Rwanda, Stalin, and the Cultural Revolution to name just a few.
So we won't be having any of that on this channel folks as the moderator, yours truly, has more than half a functioning brain and won't be putting up with any such nonsense.
So now I'm off to work and will be checking my phone every now and again to see just what the worlds greatest son is up to today.
Talk to you later,
Marcus
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Does it Make Me a Sexist If I Say......
Thursday, March 09/17
So as I was driving home from work tonight I noticed something and did the whole double take thing we see people do in the movies when they see something and can't believe they've actually seen what they thought they just saw.
I was sitting at the intersection of Bank and 3rd when I looked over to my right and noticed a woman standing near the bus stop chatting with a man. Both were dressed in business casual with nice coats on to ward off the wind and cold weather.
What caught my eye was the woman was wearing a skirt with a sweater top. Nothing out of the ordinary other than she wasn't wearing leggings, tight pants, long socks, or panty hose.
Nope, none of those present to keep her legs warm.
Well other than the fine leg hair that covered both legs.
You heard me right...........she had as much leg hair as I do on my legs.
So as the light changed colours and I drove off I wondered if my first thought that this was kind of gross makes me a sexist in any way?
I really don't have an answer and am sure I could get votes both ways from both genders if I really put out there and polled the readers.
Maybe I'm just a product of Madison Avenues concentrated mass advertising efforts and all the those commercials showing smooth legs, shaving creams, and feminine razors to really appreciate the beauty of a woman in her natural state. But than again, maybe I'd prefer to feel smooth legs next to mine and not have my own leg hairs make battle with my partners.
What's worse? A woman who doesn't shave her legs or a man who shaves his chest?
Marcus
P.S. Yes, I'm aware I didn't post an entry last night but I was feeling under the weather and pretty bushed when I got home so I had a quick bite and crashed early hoping it would help me fight off any potential cold, so far so good.
So as I was driving home from work tonight I noticed something and did the whole double take thing we see people do in the movies when they see something and can't believe they've actually seen what they thought they just saw.
I was sitting at the intersection of Bank and 3rd when I looked over to my right and noticed a woman standing near the bus stop chatting with a man. Both were dressed in business casual with nice coats on to ward off the wind and cold weather.
What caught my eye was the woman was wearing a skirt with a sweater top. Nothing out of the ordinary other than she wasn't wearing leggings, tight pants, long socks, or panty hose.
Nope, none of those present to keep her legs warm.
Well other than the fine leg hair that covered both legs.
You heard me right...........she had as much leg hair as I do on my legs.
So as the light changed colours and I drove off I wondered if my first thought that this was kind of gross makes me a sexist in any way?
I really don't have an answer and am sure I could get votes both ways from both genders if I really put out there and polled the readers.
Maybe I'm just a product of Madison Avenues concentrated mass advertising efforts and all the those commercials showing smooth legs, shaving creams, and feminine razors to really appreciate the beauty of a woman in her natural state. But than again, maybe I'd prefer to feel smooth legs next to mine and not have my own leg hairs make battle with my partners.
What's worse? A woman who doesn't shave her legs or a man who shaves his chest?
Marcus
P.S. Yes, I'm aware I didn't post an entry last night but I was feeling under the weather and pretty bushed when I got home so I had a quick bite and crashed early hoping it would help me fight off any potential cold, so far so good.
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Proposal Received and Declined
Tuesday, March 07/17
So in a recent blog entry I sort of hinted around about some crazy shit that has happened to me and I guess it's time we address the elephant in the room and get this over with.
I started my new job back in October and it's been a whirlwind from day one, trying to take over the financial reporting from one of our sister companies, correcting the mistakes we've found, get the accounts team up to the standards I know Chris expects, learn the new business model, manage the first system upgrade they've done in almost 6 years, oversee 5 monthly closings, close out the fiscal year, prepare to load the current budget into the system, and getting the news today that my CFO won't be around for most of the upcoming audit as he needs to be in Toronto for some due diligence on a potential investment and told me I'll be the sole contact with the auditors for our organization.
That one made me laugh as I was pretty sure he'd still be involved up until the moment he told me he has already informed the audit partner that any and all requests have to flow through me, that I will be the only person speaking for the organization and that they are not to send him any emails as he'll consider that a breach of the chain he has established.
Thanks Chris, not like the other stuff wasn't keeping me busy enough already lol
And to think I used to complain about how bored I was as I finished off the contract at the old company. Just goes to show you how true that old saying is, you know the one, it goes something like this......Be careful what you wish for as it just might come true
I'm sure you are wondering how any of this translates into crazy shit happening to me right?
Well just hold on as I'm getting to it, needed to sort of set the background to the story first.
My last two jobs were with companies that were really large employee wise worldwide but quite small in terms of the local offices......running something like 112 and 155 respectively.
Now the current job is with an organization that is spread out across Canada and has probably close to 1,700 employees in several divisions. The majority of them are located here in Ottawa and work for one of our sister divisions, with about 92 in my own division.
I'd say women outnumber men something like 5:1 across the entire organization and more like 13:1 within my own division. So it's a nice environment for a single male like myself to say the least.
When I started the second thing Chris said to me was that I was free to date anyone I liked as long as they didn't sit on the first floor of our office. That made me laugh as the only people sitting on the ground floor are in our immediate group and that is one dating rule I won't ever break.
What was the first thing he said to me? "Thank God your here, I'm so freaking glad you were available" It's always nice to be wanted isn't it?
Even though the odds are in my favour I've pretty much been keeping my head down and just focusing on getting things done so we can move forward with our projects.
Pretty much keeping my head down except whenever Kim comes downstairs for a meeting and flashes me that smile. When that happens I sort of forget to breathe now and again as she just has this look that makes me feel happy inside.
Now before you say I should be going after her it's important to note she is married, has the rock to show for it, and appears quite happy in her life. That was the impression I got back in December at the Christmas luncheon our CEO hosted for everyone downtown at a nice little restaurant when we were seated next to one another and chatted for the better part of two hours.
When it was time to head back to the office she asked if she could get a ride back as the person she came with wasn't going back and was heading off to do some shopping instead. I said no problem as there was an empty seat as I'd given the two accounts a ride to the luncheon. I swear I saw her frown but told myself I was reading too much into it. The ride back was full of banter about lunch and what everyone was doing over the holiday's. When we got back to the office she wished everyone a happy holiday and said she was going to call it a day and head home, flashed me a smile that could have stopped a train in it's tracks, and walked off to her car.
Since the turn of the New Year it feels like I've seen Kim every day downstairs and I think the accounts have picked up on this as about a month ago Anna asked me if I'd noticed anything different about Kim. I thought about it and nothing came to mind and said so, Anna gave me a look like I must have rocks in my head and went back to work.
A week later she gave me the look when Kim came over and asked about my weekend and how I was liking the job. We chatted for a few minutes and than she headed back upstairs. Anna looked at me and raised her eyebrow as if to say did you notice it now? Guess I looked confused as she took pity on me and held up her left hand and pointed to her wedding ring. I shook my head and she finally exclaimed "She hasn't worn her wedding ring since coming back from holiday's, don't you notice these kinds of things?"
Now to be fair to myself I do check to see if a woman has a ring on her left hand but only the first time we meet as I sort of figure once there always there, but it seems things have changed in Kim's world as Anna did some recon and found out she separated from her husband before coming back to work after the holiday's.
Now being my usual oblivious self none of this made me think or act upon the news. Mostly I think because I remember what the first few months were like for me emotionally when I went through my own separation.
As it turns out people handle these kinds of things in a variety of ways. Some go into a shell, some just hang out with friends, and some get back into the dating game with a vengeance, my friend Scotty fell into the last category, so much so that we feared he'd die of exhaustion from all the dates he was going out on.
So even though it wasn't on my radar of possibilities it appears to have been on Kim's as she asked me to meet her for drinks last Friday after work at this place near the office. I really figured she was just looking for someone to talk to and thought I might be a good person for that.
As it turns out I couldn't have been more wrong with that guess if I'd tried.
I met her for drinks and we talked for about 3 hours, pretty much about a little of everything, including the breakdown in her marriage and the decision she'd made to force a trial separation on her husband so both could figure out what was important to each of them. She seemed a bit nervous which wasn't like her at all and I asked if there was something wrong and she smiled and told me no, but still kept acting kind of strange, like she had a secret to tell me, which made me wonder if she knew about the blog, one of my worst nightmares when it comes to work.
When it was time to go she asked me to walk her to her car, like I wasn't going to do that, and looped her arm through mine as we left the pub. We continued to chat and she asked me what I was up to this weekend and I explained not much as my son was with his mom but I had some errands to do in regards to his upcoming trip. She gave me that smile again that hinted at something but left it unsaid once more.
When we got to her car she leaned back and just smiled at me, pulling me in to kiss me, her soft lips pressed against mine, her tongue parting my lips seeking out my own. Not sure how long that kiss lasted but when each leaned back there was a slight glaze to her eyes so I'm thinking I haven't lost my touch quite yet.
We kissed again and it was as good as the first, she leaned into me and said the words any red blooded male would die to hear "Come home with me"...........
And than I did something that I never thought I'd be able to do.........."I'd love to but I can't"
She looked at me like she didn't hear my response.....so I repeated it "Kim, I'd love to go home with you and maybe in a few months that might happen, but I've been where you are, hell I was there this time last year, and I know the last thing you really need is to get involved with me let alone anyone else"
She looked like she was going to cry and said "all I want is to be loved and desired"
I hugged her tight and told her she was more than desirable but her mind wasn't in the right place for something like this right now, that I wanted a relationship that was all encompassing, mental and physical, but she was still dealing with her husband and I couldn't get into the middle of that.
I asked her if she wanted to divorce him or was there a change that they could get back together and she looked down as she said she didn't know the answer to either of those questions. She said she didn't mean to sound crude but she really missed sex and wanted to just give herself to me.
I thought to myself why is my timing so bad when it comes to dealing with women.
I smiled and told her most guys would love that but for me she had unfinished business and until such time that she was completely free to enter into a relationship that I couldn't be the other guy, I wouldn't be the other guy, as I deserved better, she deserved better, and her husband deserved better.
She opened her car and got into it without saying another word to me. I don't imagine my response was the one she thought she'd get but than I've pretty much always marched to the beat of my own drummer.
I talked to my friend Andrew about the whole thing on Saturday over coffee and he just laughed and said only to me would this happen, the one man who would actually respect her, want the best for her, and not take advantage of the situation for some hot sex.
As we sat there I chuckled at this and he asked me if the kiss was good and I smiled and said top 2 of my life..................
It's been a bit odd this week as Kim has been avoiding me a bit with the exception of one Skype message asking if I'd reconsidered and I told her my position was unchanged.
I don't have a clue how this will end up playing out other than to think that no matter what happens I made the right decision as I am looking for something much more substantial than great hot sex, which I know was on the table with Kim............damn I almost hate it when the big head actually does the thinking instead of the little head..........
My name is Marcus and something crazy shit happens to me and I do the unexpected and just plain confound people with my reactions and/or decisions.
So in a recent blog entry I sort of hinted around about some crazy shit that has happened to me and I guess it's time we address the elephant in the room and get this over with.
I started my new job back in October and it's been a whirlwind from day one, trying to take over the financial reporting from one of our sister companies, correcting the mistakes we've found, get the accounts team up to the standards I know Chris expects, learn the new business model, manage the first system upgrade they've done in almost 6 years, oversee 5 monthly closings, close out the fiscal year, prepare to load the current budget into the system, and getting the news today that my CFO won't be around for most of the upcoming audit as he needs to be in Toronto for some due diligence on a potential investment and told me I'll be the sole contact with the auditors for our organization.
That one made me laugh as I was pretty sure he'd still be involved up until the moment he told me he has already informed the audit partner that any and all requests have to flow through me, that I will be the only person speaking for the organization and that they are not to send him any emails as he'll consider that a breach of the chain he has established.
Thanks Chris, not like the other stuff wasn't keeping me busy enough already lol
And to think I used to complain about how bored I was as I finished off the contract at the old company. Just goes to show you how true that old saying is, you know the one, it goes something like this......Be careful what you wish for as it just might come true
I'm sure you are wondering how any of this translates into crazy shit happening to me right?
Well just hold on as I'm getting to it, needed to sort of set the background to the story first.
My last two jobs were with companies that were really large employee wise worldwide but quite small in terms of the local offices......running something like 112 and 155 respectively.
Now the current job is with an organization that is spread out across Canada and has probably close to 1,700 employees in several divisions. The majority of them are located here in Ottawa and work for one of our sister divisions, with about 92 in my own division.
I'd say women outnumber men something like 5:1 across the entire organization and more like 13:1 within my own division. So it's a nice environment for a single male like myself to say the least.
When I started the second thing Chris said to me was that I was free to date anyone I liked as long as they didn't sit on the first floor of our office. That made me laugh as the only people sitting on the ground floor are in our immediate group and that is one dating rule I won't ever break.
What was the first thing he said to me? "Thank God your here, I'm so freaking glad you were available" It's always nice to be wanted isn't it?
Even though the odds are in my favour I've pretty much been keeping my head down and just focusing on getting things done so we can move forward with our projects.
Pretty much keeping my head down except whenever Kim comes downstairs for a meeting and flashes me that smile. When that happens I sort of forget to breathe now and again as she just has this look that makes me feel happy inside.
Now before you say I should be going after her it's important to note she is married, has the rock to show for it, and appears quite happy in her life. That was the impression I got back in December at the Christmas luncheon our CEO hosted for everyone downtown at a nice little restaurant when we were seated next to one another and chatted for the better part of two hours.
When it was time to head back to the office she asked if she could get a ride back as the person she came with wasn't going back and was heading off to do some shopping instead. I said no problem as there was an empty seat as I'd given the two accounts a ride to the luncheon. I swear I saw her frown but told myself I was reading too much into it. The ride back was full of banter about lunch and what everyone was doing over the holiday's. When we got back to the office she wished everyone a happy holiday and said she was going to call it a day and head home, flashed me a smile that could have stopped a train in it's tracks, and walked off to her car.
Since the turn of the New Year it feels like I've seen Kim every day downstairs and I think the accounts have picked up on this as about a month ago Anna asked me if I'd noticed anything different about Kim. I thought about it and nothing came to mind and said so, Anna gave me a look like I must have rocks in my head and went back to work.
A week later she gave me the look when Kim came over and asked about my weekend and how I was liking the job. We chatted for a few minutes and than she headed back upstairs. Anna looked at me and raised her eyebrow as if to say did you notice it now? Guess I looked confused as she took pity on me and held up her left hand and pointed to her wedding ring. I shook my head and she finally exclaimed "She hasn't worn her wedding ring since coming back from holiday's, don't you notice these kinds of things?"
Now to be fair to myself I do check to see if a woman has a ring on her left hand but only the first time we meet as I sort of figure once there always there, but it seems things have changed in Kim's world as Anna did some recon and found out she separated from her husband before coming back to work after the holiday's.
Now being my usual oblivious self none of this made me think or act upon the news. Mostly I think because I remember what the first few months were like for me emotionally when I went through my own separation.
As it turns out people handle these kinds of things in a variety of ways. Some go into a shell, some just hang out with friends, and some get back into the dating game with a vengeance, my friend Scotty fell into the last category, so much so that we feared he'd die of exhaustion from all the dates he was going out on.
So even though it wasn't on my radar of possibilities it appears to have been on Kim's as she asked me to meet her for drinks last Friday after work at this place near the office. I really figured she was just looking for someone to talk to and thought I might be a good person for that.
As it turns out I couldn't have been more wrong with that guess if I'd tried.
I met her for drinks and we talked for about 3 hours, pretty much about a little of everything, including the breakdown in her marriage and the decision she'd made to force a trial separation on her husband so both could figure out what was important to each of them. She seemed a bit nervous which wasn't like her at all and I asked if there was something wrong and she smiled and told me no, but still kept acting kind of strange, like she had a secret to tell me, which made me wonder if she knew about the blog, one of my worst nightmares when it comes to work.
When it was time to go she asked me to walk her to her car, like I wasn't going to do that, and looped her arm through mine as we left the pub. We continued to chat and she asked me what I was up to this weekend and I explained not much as my son was with his mom but I had some errands to do in regards to his upcoming trip. She gave me that smile again that hinted at something but left it unsaid once more.
When we got to her car she leaned back and just smiled at me, pulling me in to kiss me, her soft lips pressed against mine, her tongue parting my lips seeking out my own. Not sure how long that kiss lasted but when each leaned back there was a slight glaze to her eyes so I'm thinking I haven't lost my touch quite yet.
We kissed again and it was as good as the first, she leaned into me and said the words any red blooded male would die to hear "Come home with me"...........
And than I did something that I never thought I'd be able to do.........."I'd love to but I can't"
She looked at me like she didn't hear my response.....so I repeated it "Kim, I'd love to go home with you and maybe in a few months that might happen, but I've been where you are, hell I was there this time last year, and I know the last thing you really need is to get involved with me let alone anyone else"
She looked like she was going to cry and said "all I want is to be loved and desired"
I hugged her tight and told her she was more than desirable but her mind wasn't in the right place for something like this right now, that I wanted a relationship that was all encompassing, mental and physical, but she was still dealing with her husband and I couldn't get into the middle of that.
I asked her if she wanted to divorce him or was there a change that they could get back together and she looked down as she said she didn't know the answer to either of those questions. She said she didn't mean to sound crude but she really missed sex and wanted to just give herself to me.
I thought to myself why is my timing so bad when it comes to dealing with women.
I smiled and told her most guys would love that but for me she had unfinished business and until such time that she was completely free to enter into a relationship that I couldn't be the other guy, I wouldn't be the other guy, as I deserved better, she deserved better, and her husband deserved better.
She opened her car and got into it without saying another word to me. I don't imagine my response was the one she thought she'd get but than I've pretty much always marched to the beat of my own drummer.
I talked to my friend Andrew about the whole thing on Saturday over coffee and he just laughed and said only to me would this happen, the one man who would actually respect her, want the best for her, and not take advantage of the situation for some hot sex.
As we sat there I chuckled at this and he asked me if the kiss was good and I smiled and said top 2 of my life..................
It's been a bit odd this week as Kim has been avoiding me a bit with the exception of one Skype message asking if I'd reconsidered and I told her my position was unchanged.
I don't have a clue how this will end up playing out other than to think that no matter what happens I made the right decision as I am looking for something much more substantial than great hot sex, which I know was on the table with Kim............damn I almost hate it when the big head actually does the thinking instead of the little head..........
My name is Marcus and something crazy shit happens to me and I do the unexpected and just plain confound people with my reactions and/or decisions.
ZFG II
Tuesday, March 07/17
So it looks like I've opened up a real can of worms with my response to our lovely Maria from Seattle.
The emails have been flowing in and poor Maria should really thank me for not publishing her email address as they are running something like 9:1 against her.
Yes, I have her real email and it appears to be both her home account and work email as well, looks like she cc'd herself so she could sit back and bask in the glory that is her self proclaimed wit.
I considered taking the post down but than thought why should I do that, it only serves to empower her more and heaven knows we don't need any more small minded people having an even bigger soap box to stand on.
Best thing has been all the support for just being who I've always wanted to be, a dad and loving parent.
So to Wendy, Todd, Michelle, Brea-Anne, Cathy, Kathy, Mitchell (not Mitch), Mitch, Vlad, Juan, Annie, Hector, and Caitlyn to name a few.....thank you
As for Maria from Seattle, Tess from Mobile, Daphne from London, Zachery from Salt Lake City I still have zero fucks to give about you and your negative message.
My name is Marcus and these are my ongoing adventures being a single dad, friend, co-worker, striking the perfect 8 iron from 135+ yards pin high, and trying my hand at dating.
So it looks like I've opened up a real can of worms with my response to our lovely Maria from Seattle.
The emails have been flowing in and poor Maria should really thank me for not publishing her email address as they are running something like 9:1 against her.
Yes, I have her real email and it appears to be both her home account and work email as well, looks like she cc'd herself so she could sit back and bask in the glory that is her self proclaimed wit.
I considered taking the post down but than thought why should I do that, it only serves to empower her more and heaven knows we don't need any more small minded people having an even bigger soap box to stand on.
Best thing has been all the support for just being who I've always wanted to be, a dad and loving parent.
So to Wendy, Todd, Michelle, Brea-Anne, Cathy, Kathy, Mitchell (not Mitch), Mitch, Vlad, Juan, Annie, Hector, and Caitlyn to name a few.....thank you
As for Maria from Seattle, Tess from Mobile, Daphne from London, Zachery from Salt Lake City I still have zero fucks to give about you and your negative message.
My name is Marcus and these are my ongoing adventures being a single dad, friend, co-worker, striking the perfect 8 iron from 135+ yards pin high, and trying my hand at dating.
Monday, March 6, 2017
ZFG
Monday, March 06/17
So from almost day one of this blog I've pretty much had the same ending tag line and think it pretty much represents how I perceive myself and how I hope others see me.
"My name is Marcus and these are my ongoing adventures as a single dad, friend, golfer, and the search for my one, not the perfect one but the imperfectly perfect one for me :)" or some combination of words that convey this message at the end of almost every blog entry.
I do so in an attempt to remind people what is important to me and the order of that importance.
My family comes first and foremost, as it should for any person who reads this blog, by that I mean your family should come first to you and not necessarily my family, but by all means if you'd like to help out with some university tuition come this September than feel free to drop me a line and we can discuss things offline.
I don't have a tonne of friends and that's by choice, mostly theirs. But for those I do call friend and they actually call me that back, well I've you covered and will literally come bail your ass out of jail any time of the day or night, unless it's 6:45 am on a Saturday in the summer and than you are on your own as that is going to interfere with my tee time, but any other time is good so just use that call on me buddy.
Golf, seriously, you need me to explain that one after all the blogs I've written about my unrequited love for the game, nay my addiction to the sport.
My ongoing search for the one who is imperfectly perfect for me. Well given my recent reticence about putting myself out there on the off chance I actually do meet her, notice the choice of gender here folks as it says quite a bit about my preference in a future mate, unless you are Ryan Reynolds and willing to leave Blake Lively for a middle aged white male, than I'm game to bat for the home team, just kidding, always have and always will be batting for the visiting team as I like how they laugh, smell, smile, and feel.
So all this to say I think it paints a pretty good picture of me, without actually showing you my picture as that would just be too weird.
I never imagined my tag line would be offensive to any of my readers but based on a message I received last night it seems like I was wrong.
Yes, Maria from Seattle, I'm publicly responding to your email questioning my right to call myself a single dad.
Seems like Maria doesn't feel that I should refer to myself as a single dad since I don't have full custody of my son, but rather share him with his amazing mom. I wonder if she would take offense if my ex wrote a blog and referred to herself as a single mom while being in the same custodial arrangement that we are right now. Kind of doubt she would but than it's easy to bash a man for taking some pride in being there for his kids 24/7 365 whether they are with him or not.
Why is ok for one gender to refer to themselves as a single parent but it's not ok for the other gender to do so? Double standard being applied hard at work I'd say.
Let me set you straight Maria. First and foremost I'm a parent. Whether my kids are with me or my ex, I am always a parent and have them in my thoughts.
But the way our custody arrangement is worded we literally are like a single parent the week we have our son as we have sole legal responsibility to make all decisions that effect our son. Now granted we almost always consult one another and make decisions jointly but there have been occasions when that wasn't possible and one of us had to make some tough decisions on their own.
So when I think of myself it is always in the mind set of a single parent. I'm lucky that I don't carry that on my shoulders 100% of the time but that is always an option when he is with me or with his mom.
So I know you were hoping to get a rise out of me but here's the issue I have with you and those who would question any parent for calling themselves a single parent.........
I ran out of fucks to give small minded people like yourself back in the summer of '05 when you try and drag me down in the quagmire you call a life.
So to make it as plain as possible for you.......I have zero fucks to give about you and your opinion!
You know whose opinion matters to me? My sons, my daughters, and to some extent my ex's.
My name is Marcus and these are my trials and tribulations as a single parent, friend, golfer and the search for my ever elusive one.
So from almost day one of this blog I've pretty much had the same ending tag line and think it pretty much represents how I perceive myself and how I hope others see me.
"My name is Marcus and these are my ongoing adventures as a single dad, friend, golfer, and the search for my one, not the perfect one but the imperfectly perfect one for me :)" or some combination of words that convey this message at the end of almost every blog entry.
I do so in an attempt to remind people what is important to me and the order of that importance.
My family comes first and foremost, as it should for any person who reads this blog, by that I mean your family should come first to you and not necessarily my family, but by all means if you'd like to help out with some university tuition come this September than feel free to drop me a line and we can discuss things offline.
I don't have a tonne of friends and that's by choice, mostly theirs. But for those I do call friend and they actually call me that back, well I've you covered and will literally come bail your ass out of jail any time of the day or night, unless it's 6:45 am on a Saturday in the summer and than you are on your own as that is going to interfere with my tee time, but any other time is good so just use that call on me buddy.
Golf, seriously, you need me to explain that one after all the blogs I've written about my unrequited love for the game, nay my addiction to the sport.
My ongoing search for the one who is imperfectly perfect for me. Well given my recent reticence about putting myself out there on the off chance I actually do meet her, notice the choice of gender here folks as it says quite a bit about my preference in a future mate, unless you are Ryan Reynolds and willing to leave Blake Lively for a middle aged white male, than I'm game to bat for the home team, just kidding, always have and always will be batting for the visiting team as I like how they laugh, smell, smile, and feel.
So all this to say I think it paints a pretty good picture of me, without actually showing you my picture as that would just be too weird.
I never imagined my tag line would be offensive to any of my readers but based on a message I received last night it seems like I was wrong.
Yes, Maria from Seattle, I'm publicly responding to your email questioning my right to call myself a single dad.
Seems like Maria doesn't feel that I should refer to myself as a single dad since I don't have full custody of my son, but rather share him with his amazing mom. I wonder if she would take offense if my ex wrote a blog and referred to herself as a single mom while being in the same custodial arrangement that we are right now. Kind of doubt she would but than it's easy to bash a man for taking some pride in being there for his kids 24/7 365 whether they are with him or not.
Why is ok for one gender to refer to themselves as a single parent but it's not ok for the other gender to do so? Double standard being applied hard at work I'd say.
Let me set you straight Maria. First and foremost I'm a parent. Whether my kids are with me or my ex, I am always a parent and have them in my thoughts.
But the way our custody arrangement is worded we literally are like a single parent the week we have our son as we have sole legal responsibility to make all decisions that effect our son. Now granted we almost always consult one another and make decisions jointly but there have been occasions when that wasn't possible and one of us had to make some tough decisions on their own.
So when I think of myself it is always in the mind set of a single parent. I'm lucky that I don't carry that on my shoulders 100% of the time but that is always an option when he is with me or with his mom.
So I know you were hoping to get a rise out of me but here's the issue I have with you and those who would question any parent for calling themselves a single parent.........
I ran out of fucks to give small minded people like yourself back in the summer of '05 when you try and drag me down in the quagmire you call a life.
So to make it as plain as possible for you.......I have zero fucks to give about you and your opinion!
You know whose opinion matters to me? My sons, my daughters, and to some extent my ex's.
My name is Marcus and these are my trials and tribulations as a single parent, friend, golfer and the search for my ever elusive one.
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Saturday's Random Act of Kindness (RAK)
Sunday, March 05/17
Yesterday's Lent outcome was a little different than usual and one I hope you take to heart, and if possible try to emulate yourself when the moment presents itself.
I went to Boston Pizza for lunch yesterday as I'd had a hankering for some shrimp taco's, a little treat I learned to like when lunching at the BP in Pembroke back in 2015 after a morning round of golf and some errands with my lady friend :)
There was a young woman sitting in the booth with her sons in front of mine. She looked a little frazzled but was so attentive to her boys it made me smile. I overheard her eldest son, a boy of about 6 I'd say, ask if they could go to the dollar store to get some new colouring books and her reply that she didn't have the money to do that as they'd decided to have a nice lunch out today as a family.
Now hearing that made me think back to when I lived in San Diego and the times my mom would take me to either Hob Nob Hill on First Avenue or Rutherford's on El Cajon Boulevard for dinner when it was just the two of us.
Hob Nob was a quaint little place that would have been more suited for an older clientele than we counted as but the food was good and the service always made us feel like regulars. They had the best bread and we'd always buy a loaf to take home. Rutherford's is an old style diner when it wasn't the hip theme or style to follow. Simple food with wonderful older women serving it with a smile and kind words. Two of those places you look back upon and have nothing but the fondest memories.
So as I heard this exchange it made me decide to do something about it. Since I was sitting right behind them I couldn't very well tell the waiter my plan nor would be getting up and walking over to the bar and talking to him have been all that subtle either. What to do? Than it hit me, I typed a text message to myself and when he came over to replenish my drink I handed him the phone and pointed to the text message for him to read. He gave me a quizzical look but took the phone from me and read the following message:
"Please don't say anything at all about this but please place the young families bill on my tab"
He looked at me, smiled, and said not a problem as he handed me back my phone. I smiled and thanked him for the refill as I went back to reading my tablet while waiting for my meal to arrive.
I enjoyed a wonderful lunch, made some progress on the most recent book I've started to read on my iPad, and generally kept my eyes away from the table next to mine.
They finished up and she started gathering up the boys coats, toques, and mitts while signaling for the bill.
When the waiter came over I made sure to have my attention on my tablet.
I heard her ask him for the cheque and him tell her that the bill had already been taken care of and he hoped she had a nice day.
She asked what he meant as she hadn't paid yet and tried to hand him some money. He smiled and said someone else had paid for the meal, wished her a good day again and walked over to another table to clear some plates away.
As she stood up she looked around the room trying to see if she could figure out who was responsible for it. I could sense her gaze stop upon me but just continued to read my tablet. She hesitated for a moment but than turned to her boys and said something that made my day.
"Well boys it looks like we're going to get some new colouring books and even new crayons as someone just did a very nice thing for us"
They were all smiles and one leaned over to hug his mom so tight that she literally let out a breathe.
I looked up and watched them walk out of the restaurant and didn't notice the waiter had come up and was standing at my table. When I looked at him he smiled and said "thanks for making my day"
Now I'm not telling you about this in order for you to sit back and say to yourself "What a nice thing to do, that Marcus sure is a great guy"
No, I'm sharing this story so maybe the same opportunity will present itself and you can act upon it. we all need a hand sometimes, not a handout but a hand, and if my doing something so simple can make two young boys smile and hug their mom like those two did than more of that is to come.
I know at some point she is going to return that simple act of random kindness and it will be played forward over and over, maybe even coming full circle to me or a member of my family.
In the end I view that money as well spent, an investment in the future if you will. Not necessarily my direct future, but the future nonetheless.
My name is Marcus and this blog chronicles my attempts to be a good father, friend, worker, citizen of my community, and the search for my one.
Today's musical suggestion is "Wake Up" by Eden. My son played this for me last Monday as we were driving to see his sisters soccer game and it really touched a chord within me, which is usually his intent and the result when he plays me some of the artists he is listening too.
Yesterday's Lent outcome was a little different than usual and one I hope you take to heart, and if possible try to emulate yourself when the moment presents itself.
I went to Boston Pizza for lunch yesterday as I'd had a hankering for some shrimp taco's, a little treat I learned to like when lunching at the BP in Pembroke back in 2015 after a morning round of golf and some errands with my lady friend :)
There was a young woman sitting in the booth with her sons in front of mine. She looked a little frazzled but was so attentive to her boys it made me smile. I overheard her eldest son, a boy of about 6 I'd say, ask if they could go to the dollar store to get some new colouring books and her reply that she didn't have the money to do that as they'd decided to have a nice lunch out today as a family.
Now hearing that made me think back to when I lived in San Diego and the times my mom would take me to either Hob Nob Hill on First Avenue or Rutherford's on El Cajon Boulevard for dinner when it was just the two of us.
Hob Nob was a quaint little place that would have been more suited for an older clientele than we counted as but the food was good and the service always made us feel like regulars. They had the best bread and we'd always buy a loaf to take home. Rutherford's is an old style diner when it wasn't the hip theme or style to follow. Simple food with wonderful older women serving it with a smile and kind words. Two of those places you look back upon and have nothing but the fondest memories.
So as I heard this exchange it made me decide to do something about it. Since I was sitting right behind them I couldn't very well tell the waiter my plan nor would be getting up and walking over to the bar and talking to him have been all that subtle either. What to do? Than it hit me, I typed a text message to myself and when he came over to replenish my drink I handed him the phone and pointed to the text message for him to read. He gave me a quizzical look but took the phone from me and read the following message:
"Please don't say anything at all about this but please place the young families bill on my tab"
He looked at me, smiled, and said not a problem as he handed me back my phone. I smiled and thanked him for the refill as I went back to reading my tablet while waiting for my meal to arrive.
I enjoyed a wonderful lunch, made some progress on the most recent book I've started to read on my iPad, and generally kept my eyes away from the table next to mine.
They finished up and she started gathering up the boys coats, toques, and mitts while signaling for the bill.
When the waiter came over I made sure to have my attention on my tablet.
I heard her ask him for the cheque and him tell her that the bill had already been taken care of and he hoped she had a nice day.
She asked what he meant as she hadn't paid yet and tried to hand him some money. He smiled and said someone else had paid for the meal, wished her a good day again and walked over to another table to clear some plates away.
As she stood up she looked around the room trying to see if she could figure out who was responsible for it. I could sense her gaze stop upon me but just continued to read my tablet. She hesitated for a moment but than turned to her boys and said something that made my day.
"Well boys it looks like we're going to get some new colouring books and even new crayons as someone just did a very nice thing for us"
They were all smiles and one leaned over to hug his mom so tight that she literally let out a breathe.
I looked up and watched them walk out of the restaurant and didn't notice the waiter had come up and was standing at my table. When I looked at him he smiled and said "thanks for making my day"
Now I'm not telling you about this in order for you to sit back and say to yourself "What a nice thing to do, that Marcus sure is a great guy"
No, I'm sharing this story so maybe the same opportunity will present itself and you can act upon it. we all need a hand sometimes, not a handout but a hand, and if my doing something so simple can make two young boys smile and hug their mom like those two did than more of that is to come.
I know at some point she is going to return that simple act of random kindness and it will be played forward over and over, maybe even coming full circle to me or a member of my family.
In the end I view that money as well spent, an investment in the future if you will. Not necessarily my direct future, but the future nonetheless.
My name is Marcus and this blog chronicles my attempts to be a good father, friend, worker, citizen of my community, and the search for my one.
Today's musical suggestion is "Wake Up" by Eden. My son played this for me last Monday as we were driving to see his sisters soccer game and it really touched a chord within me, which is usually his intent and the result when he plays me some of the artists he is listening too.
Holy Sweet Banana's!!!!
Sunday, March 05/17
I literally almost fell out of my fucking chair a few moments ago when I saw the view count for yesterday's "You Know It's Cold When..." blog entry.
Over 250 view in less than a day.....has to be a one day record for this blog.
I've got a few posts that each run into the 300-400 view range but that's all time views and not just a single day.
So just how cold was it yesterday?
Well the high was -14c
The low was -21c
But the kick in the face we all felt was the wind chill of -33c
They have been holding the Red Bull Crashed Ice downtown on the locks between the Chateau Laurier and Parliament will with crowds expected upwards of 80,000 strong........wondering what they really were given the cold yesterday......probably still pretty good given the young demographics for the event and it's location......right next door to the Byward Market and all those establishments offering up some liquid warmth :)
Well I'm off to do some house cleaning and than look at getting that oil changed in the car - line was way too long yesterday so I decided to put it off till today.
Marcus
I literally almost fell out of my fucking chair a few moments ago when I saw the view count for yesterday's "You Know It's Cold When..." blog entry.
Over 250 view in less than a day.....has to be a one day record for this blog.
I've got a few posts that each run into the 300-400 view range but that's all time views and not just a single day.
So just how cold was it yesterday?
Well the high was -14c
The low was -21c
But the kick in the face we all felt was the wind chill of -33c
They have been holding the Red Bull Crashed Ice downtown on the locks between the Chateau Laurier and Parliament will with crowds expected upwards of 80,000 strong........wondering what they really were given the cold yesterday......probably still pretty good given the young demographics for the event and it's location......right next door to the Byward Market and all those establishments offering up some liquid warmth :)
Well I'm off to do some house cleaning and than look at getting that oil changed in the car - line was way too long yesterday so I decided to put it off till today.
Marcus
Saturday, March 4, 2017
You Know it's Cold When.........
Saturday, March 04/17
I woke up early this morning and am almost willing to swear I saw mist when I exhaled it was so cold.
Normally I prefer my house a bit cooler than most people as I just find it easier to sleep when I can burrow under the sheets and duvet but it was even too cold for me this morning, cold enough to get me to actually drag my tired butt out from under those same blanket and duvet to turn the thermostat up and get the heat going.
I know it's cold when I open the door to let Moki out for a walk and she takes one look outside, gets a feel for the temperature, and gives me that look that says I must have been dropped on my head at birth if I even think she is going to step foot outside the house and turns around to go lay down on her pillow.
One of the pitfalls of having to get up so early during the week to avoid traffic on my way to the Glebe is that I'm now waking early on the weekends, which sort of sucks in the winter but should serve me well come spring and summer when I have to be up early to get to my tee times :)
Today sees me with an otherwise empty slate once I get a few errands done. Chief among them is getting the oil changed in my car and refilling my son's prescription so I can drop it off at his mom's and cross one more trip related task off the list.
Pretty mundane but I don't ever remember making a claim that I lead an exciting life.
Now I will say this, I'm a pretty average and normal guy but sometimes I have some of the weirdest shit happen to me that just leaves me scratching my head wondering what the hell is going on.
That is my lead to a blog I'm working on that hopefully makes you smile and will more than likely question my sanity........bit of a teaser there eh? well just wait and you can decide for yourself when you read it. I wish I could make this shit up but it just happens as it happens.
My name is Marcus and these are my ongoing adventures as a single dad, friend, golfer, and the search for my one, not the perfect one but the imperfectly perfect one for me :)
Today's musical suggestion is a bit old school but one that I was just cranking pretty damn loud, good thing my next door neighbours are out and about lol
The Chain by Fleetwood Mac - on the soundtrack for the new Guardians of the Galaxy coming out in May. Love the guitar and drum combined solo....pump it up and enjoy the day folks
I woke up early this morning and am almost willing to swear I saw mist when I exhaled it was so cold.
Normally I prefer my house a bit cooler than most people as I just find it easier to sleep when I can burrow under the sheets and duvet but it was even too cold for me this morning, cold enough to get me to actually drag my tired butt out from under those same blanket and duvet to turn the thermostat up and get the heat going.
I know it's cold when I open the door to let Moki out for a walk and she takes one look outside, gets a feel for the temperature, and gives me that look that says I must have been dropped on my head at birth if I even think she is going to step foot outside the house and turns around to go lay down on her pillow.
One of the pitfalls of having to get up so early during the week to avoid traffic on my way to the Glebe is that I'm now waking early on the weekends, which sort of sucks in the winter but should serve me well come spring and summer when I have to be up early to get to my tee times :)
Today sees me with an otherwise empty slate once I get a few errands done. Chief among them is getting the oil changed in my car and refilling my son's prescription so I can drop it off at his mom's and cross one more trip related task off the list.
Pretty mundane but I don't ever remember making a claim that I lead an exciting life.
Now I will say this, I'm a pretty average and normal guy but sometimes I have some of the weirdest shit happen to me that just leaves me scratching my head wondering what the hell is going on.
That is my lead to a blog I'm working on that hopefully makes you smile and will more than likely question my sanity........bit of a teaser there eh? well just wait and you can decide for yourself when you read it. I wish I could make this shit up but it just happens as it happens.
My name is Marcus and these are my ongoing adventures as a single dad, friend, golfer, and the search for my one, not the perfect one but the imperfectly perfect one for me :)
Today's musical suggestion is a bit old school but one that I was just cranking pretty damn loud, good thing my next door neighbours are out and about lol
The Chain by Fleetwood Mac - on the soundtrack for the new Guardians of the Galaxy coming out in May. Love the guitar and drum combined solo....pump it up and enjoy the day folks
Friday, March 3, 2017
A Little of This and a Little of That on a Cold Friday
Friday, March 03/17
So day three of my Lent is almost in the books and so far so good :)
Of course it has come to my attention that it is also causing problems for a few people, namely my boss lol
Chris likes to get out of the office at least once a week to just hash over things while we grab some lunch. The problem being we are so damn busy that it usually means going to South Street Burger at Lansdowne Park near our offices, which is a pretty good place to grab a meal. The quandary for me is that I haven't been able to determine if it qualifies as fast food and thus off my radar during Lent. He's trying to convince me it is like a restaurant but I'm not willing to concede the point just yet. I mean it's better too error on the side of caution if in doubt right?
It dawned on me that my son leaves for his Europe trip next Thursday and because he's gone over March break, which is my week, I'll literally go almost three weeks without seeing him after this morning. So before I left for work this morning and before his alarm went off to wake him up, I snuck into his room and whispered "Love you worlds greatest son" and kissed the top of his head.
I didn't think he heard me but guess I was wrong as I got a text as I was walking up the stairs to my office that simply read "Love you too worlds greatest dad, have a great weekend and get out and do something"
Texted back a smiley face and then texted his mom asking if he could come over for the night on Tuesday and her response was our usual classic reply to such a question from one another "Of course"
Amazing how well you can co-parent when you put differences aside and just focus on what is important - the kids!!
Tomorrow was going to be tax filing day but I noticed an error with one of my RRSP receipts related to the buyout I received last year so now I'm trying to figure out how to get it fixed. Can't even be mad at anyone other than myself as I filled out the form incorrectly when they funded the disbursement.
Is it schizophrenia or just your own personal rave raging in your head? I say party on my friend :)
As I was leaving work tonight I held the door open for a young lady and she commented on how busy TD Place was and wondered what was going on. I remembered that Billy Talent was in concert and she smiled and said that would have been a good show to see, I agreed with her but said I'd prefer to see Mother Mother later this month whereupon she smiled at me as she opened the door to her car and wished me a good night. I smiled back and said have a better weekend and she laughed, reached over and high fived me as she replied "Touche" my friend.
I had the strangest dream the other night. Can't really say much about it without violating my rule about never disclosing where someone works so all I can really say is that I woke up asking myself "WTF was that all about" and than smiling as I thought about the person who was the centre of the dream.
Think I'm going to head off and make myself some dinner, watch some Netflix, and let a certain spoiled puppy curl up in my lap for some back rubs :-)
Have a great Friday night, stay warm, and be safe.
Marcus
Today's musical suggestion is "Rooting for You" from London Grammar. Man does the lead singer have a voice and this song really lets it shine.
Here is the YouTube link for those interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqhgXAGP4Ho
So day three of my Lent is almost in the books and so far so good :)
Of course it has come to my attention that it is also causing problems for a few people, namely my boss lol
Chris likes to get out of the office at least once a week to just hash over things while we grab some lunch. The problem being we are so damn busy that it usually means going to South Street Burger at Lansdowne Park near our offices, which is a pretty good place to grab a meal. The quandary for me is that I haven't been able to determine if it qualifies as fast food and thus off my radar during Lent. He's trying to convince me it is like a restaurant but I'm not willing to concede the point just yet. I mean it's better too error on the side of caution if in doubt right?
It dawned on me that my son leaves for his Europe trip next Thursday and because he's gone over March break, which is my week, I'll literally go almost three weeks without seeing him after this morning. So before I left for work this morning and before his alarm went off to wake him up, I snuck into his room and whispered "Love you worlds greatest son" and kissed the top of his head.
I didn't think he heard me but guess I was wrong as I got a text as I was walking up the stairs to my office that simply read "Love you too worlds greatest dad, have a great weekend and get out and do something"
Texted back a smiley face and then texted his mom asking if he could come over for the night on Tuesday and her response was our usual classic reply to such a question from one another "Of course"
Amazing how well you can co-parent when you put differences aside and just focus on what is important - the kids!!
Tomorrow was going to be tax filing day but I noticed an error with one of my RRSP receipts related to the buyout I received last year so now I'm trying to figure out how to get it fixed. Can't even be mad at anyone other than myself as I filled out the form incorrectly when they funded the disbursement.
Is it schizophrenia or just your own personal rave raging in your head? I say party on my friend :)
As I was leaving work tonight I held the door open for a young lady and she commented on how busy TD Place was and wondered what was going on. I remembered that Billy Talent was in concert and she smiled and said that would have been a good show to see, I agreed with her but said I'd prefer to see Mother Mother later this month whereupon she smiled at me as she opened the door to her car and wished me a good night. I smiled back and said have a better weekend and she laughed, reached over and high fived me as she replied "Touche" my friend.
I had the strangest dream the other night. Can't really say much about it without violating my rule about never disclosing where someone works so all I can really say is that I woke up asking myself "WTF was that all about" and than smiling as I thought about the person who was the centre of the dream.
Think I'm going to head off and make myself some dinner, watch some Netflix, and let a certain spoiled puppy curl up in my lap for some back rubs :-)
Have a great Friday night, stay warm, and be safe.
Marcus
Today's musical suggestion is "Rooting for You" from London Grammar. Man does the lead singer have a voice and this song really lets it shine.
Here is the YouTube link for those interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqhgXAGP4Ho
Thursday, March 2, 2017
The Golfer Within is Starting to Stir
Thursday, March 02/17
So this time last year I was starting to really get stir crazy in terms of missing golf. I would practice my putting in the man cave probably every other night at the minimum.
But for some reason I'm not feeling that irresistible itch this year. Don't get me wrong and think my love of the game has diminished as I don't think it has in the least, hell I'd go so far as to say I love playing golf almost as much as I like sex!!
But unlike golf, sex is a two player game and I've learned to put those thoughts and/or desires on the back burner when I'm not in a committed relationship.
Maybe that has been sort of my mind frame this year in regards to golf as I know there is no way on God's green earth that I'm going to get to play as many rounds this summer as I did last year so I'm trying to minimize my golf related thoughts to keep the disappointment down.
I already have resigned myself to the fact that while I enjoy my new job that it is also going to kill my rounds played statistic, I mean it's not realistic to think I'll get to play 2 after work rounds per week this summer like I was last year, though I did sort of set things up with my CFO Chris that I'm looking to possibly join the men's league at Stittsville Golf Club (formerly known as Glen Mar) and that would mean working from 8-4pm on certain days.
Of course the fact that we're hiring a new controller to start in April should make that goal more attainable as it means I won't be covering off half the positions responsibilities like I am now.
I'd also like to continue my after work round with my former co-worker Marc at Pakenham as I really enjoyed the camaraderie that developed between us, which is hard for me to do most times and thus kind of important for me to sustain as I continue to try and evolve into the man I'd like to be.
I will say I've actually watched the final rounds of a couple of tournaments and felt that addiction starting to stir within me so maybe it's just a timing thing and the timing hasn't been right yet.
Thinking I'll get the putter out tomorrow night and work on my alignment and stroke speed while watching some Netflix. Moki will be happy as she'll patiently wait for me to finish and than chase after the golf balls when I let her know its good.
Something simple that will make both of us happy and you can't beat that now can you.
My name is Marcus and these are my ongoing posts about being a single dad, friend, worker drone, and the search for my one.
Today's musical suggestion is Pepper by the Butthole Surfers. Ignore the band name and just give it a listen, has an interesting beat and the lyrics are kind of cool.
So this time last year I was starting to really get stir crazy in terms of missing golf. I would practice my putting in the man cave probably every other night at the minimum.
But for some reason I'm not feeling that irresistible itch this year. Don't get me wrong and think my love of the game has diminished as I don't think it has in the least, hell I'd go so far as to say I love playing golf almost as much as I like sex!!
But unlike golf, sex is a two player game and I've learned to put those thoughts and/or desires on the back burner when I'm not in a committed relationship.
Maybe that has been sort of my mind frame this year in regards to golf as I know there is no way on God's green earth that I'm going to get to play as many rounds this summer as I did last year so I'm trying to minimize my golf related thoughts to keep the disappointment down.
I already have resigned myself to the fact that while I enjoy my new job that it is also going to kill my rounds played statistic, I mean it's not realistic to think I'll get to play 2 after work rounds per week this summer like I was last year, though I did sort of set things up with my CFO Chris that I'm looking to possibly join the men's league at Stittsville Golf Club (formerly known as Glen Mar) and that would mean working from 8-4pm on certain days.
Of course the fact that we're hiring a new controller to start in April should make that goal more attainable as it means I won't be covering off half the positions responsibilities like I am now.
I'd also like to continue my after work round with my former co-worker Marc at Pakenham as I really enjoyed the camaraderie that developed between us, which is hard for me to do most times and thus kind of important for me to sustain as I continue to try and evolve into the man I'd like to be.
I will say I've actually watched the final rounds of a couple of tournaments and felt that addiction starting to stir within me so maybe it's just a timing thing and the timing hasn't been right yet.
Thinking I'll get the putter out tomorrow night and work on my alignment and stroke speed while watching some Netflix. Moki will be happy as she'll patiently wait for me to finish and than chase after the golf balls when I let her know its good.
Something simple that will make both of us happy and you can't beat that now can you.
My name is Marcus and these are my ongoing posts about being a single dad, friend, worker drone, and the search for my one.
Today's musical suggestion is Pepper by the Butthole Surfers. Ignore the band name and just give it a listen, has an interesting beat and the lyrics are kind of cool.
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Ash Wednesday
Wednesday, March 01/17
So here it is almost 9pm EST and I bet a lot of you were thinking I couldn't even meet the first day of my Lent activities :)
Well how wrong you are all!!!!
No fast food, and given I was running late this morning and could have really utilized that option but stayed true to my commitment.
My nice words were for the young lady working the gas bar who was on her first day, trying so hard, and making a tonne of mistakes.......but she was trying and nothing in my life was so important that those extra few minutes she took cost me anything.......I told her it does get better and I appreciated the smile she never lost while things weren't going her way.
Now the blog entry isn't going to be too over the top but rather just a reminder that in this crazy rat race we call society that it is so important to take a moment for yourself, to just reflect on something that made you feel good inside, to tell those close to you how much you love and appreciate them, and to just breathe.
My son gave me a hug as soon as I walked through the door when I got home. Told me he loved me and I was the worlds greatest dad!!
Now I'll admit he is a bit biased but that's ok in this case as we're all biased when it comes to our family and close friends.
I considered writing about my faith and how it has evolved over time into something that both brings me comfort and makes me take a moment to think about what my beliefs really encompass. I think given the day that I'll hold off on that one for now but do promise to visit the topic in the not too distant future.
As I sat through the sermon at Holy Redeemer tonight I thought of all the people who have made me the person I am today, in conjunction with my creator, and gave silent thanks to each of them for helping shape me. It is funny when you think about the people who have had some influence on you at one point or another and the lessons they imparted that can still be applied years later.
I'm grateful to all my teachers for seeing something in the quiet kid and encouraging me in my studies, the coaches I had in various sports who never let me give less than 100% and reminded me that practises weren't just for teaching me sport specific skill sets but also how to work as a team, even with kids I might not really like all that much, to communicate with others, to be disciplined in my approach to sports, school, and life, to my family for supporting my dreams, to my children for showing me what it means to love unconditionally, and to both my ex and C for showing me what it feels like to love and be loved.
Today is only day 1 of my 40+ day Lent adventure but so far it's looking pretty good to this old man.
My name is Marcus and while I'm not perfect, I am perfectly me.
So here it is almost 9pm EST and I bet a lot of you were thinking I couldn't even meet the first day of my Lent activities :)
Well how wrong you are all!!!!
No fast food, and given I was running late this morning and could have really utilized that option but stayed true to my commitment.
My nice words were for the young lady working the gas bar who was on her first day, trying so hard, and making a tonne of mistakes.......but she was trying and nothing in my life was so important that those extra few minutes she took cost me anything.......I told her it does get better and I appreciated the smile she never lost while things weren't going her way.
Now the blog entry isn't going to be too over the top but rather just a reminder that in this crazy rat race we call society that it is so important to take a moment for yourself, to just reflect on something that made you feel good inside, to tell those close to you how much you love and appreciate them, and to just breathe.
My son gave me a hug as soon as I walked through the door when I got home. Told me he loved me and I was the worlds greatest dad!!
Now I'll admit he is a bit biased but that's ok in this case as we're all biased when it comes to our family and close friends.
I considered writing about my faith and how it has evolved over time into something that both brings me comfort and makes me take a moment to think about what my beliefs really encompass. I think given the day that I'll hold off on that one for now but do promise to visit the topic in the not too distant future.
As I sat through the sermon at Holy Redeemer tonight I thought of all the people who have made me the person I am today, in conjunction with my creator, and gave silent thanks to each of them for helping shape me. It is funny when you think about the people who have had some influence on you at one point or another and the lessons they imparted that can still be applied years later.
I'm grateful to all my teachers for seeing something in the quiet kid and encouraging me in my studies, the coaches I had in various sports who never let me give less than 100% and reminded me that practises weren't just for teaching me sport specific skill sets but also how to work as a team, even with kids I might not really like all that much, to communicate with others, to be disciplined in my approach to sports, school, and life, to my family for supporting my dreams, to my children for showing me what it means to love unconditionally, and to both my ex and C for showing me what it feels like to love and be loved.
Today is only day 1 of my 40+ day Lent adventure but so far it's looking pretty good to this old man.
My name is Marcus and while I'm not perfect, I am perfectly me.
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