December 30/13
My teacher friend L sent me this last night and thought I might get a kick out of it - I did and thought I'd share with all of you.......pretty cool answers when you consider the ages of the kids :)
Monday, December 30, 2013
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Tough time of year for many people
Dec 29/13
I know from personal experience that the holiday season coupled with dark days related to winter can be emotionally and mentally draining for some people.
For me it is the fact that my mom was born Christmas day and my kids are with me for half the day make things a tad bit rougher to handle. Well, they used to be hard to take but for some reason this season has been easier to handle. Can't quite put my hand directly on what is different this year over years past but I don't have that dark feeling hanging over my head.
I know from previous seasons how hard it was and it really impacted my ability to interact with people and I was not really all that fun to be around. My ex and kids did their best to help me deal with it and I think that was one factor that made it bearable.
As someone who has gone through these dark days I implore you to talk to someone if you are feeling down in any way, shape, or form. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking out help, it does not make you any less of a person or parent, in fact I think it makes you a better person, being able to recognize that things might be getting out of hand and being strong enough to do something about it is the greatest gift you can give yourself and those who love you, and believe me when I say there are far more people who care about you than you'll ever know......
What makes me think that?
Over the past few weeks I've gotten several texts and calls from friends just checking in to see how I'm doing. These are subtle attempts to let me know they care and if I need anything they are only a phone call away. A couple of them came from people who I never even realized knew about my difficulties this time of year......pretty awesome to know I have people who care that extend beyond my kids......
If you still don't feel comfortable than feel free to email me and we can chat...sometimes just having someone to listen to you helps......
I care so hopefully you will too
Marcus
observations-of-a-single-man@gmail.com
I know from personal experience that the holiday season coupled with dark days related to winter can be emotionally and mentally draining for some people.
For me it is the fact that my mom was born Christmas day and my kids are with me for half the day make things a tad bit rougher to handle. Well, they used to be hard to take but for some reason this season has been easier to handle. Can't quite put my hand directly on what is different this year over years past but I don't have that dark feeling hanging over my head.
I know from previous seasons how hard it was and it really impacted my ability to interact with people and I was not really all that fun to be around. My ex and kids did their best to help me deal with it and I think that was one factor that made it bearable.
As someone who has gone through these dark days I implore you to talk to someone if you are feeling down in any way, shape, or form. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking out help, it does not make you any less of a person or parent, in fact I think it makes you a better person, being able to recognize that things might be getting out of hand and being strong enough to do something about it is the greatest gift you can give yourself and those who love you, and believe me when I say there are far more people who care about you than you'll ever know......
What makes me think that?
Over the past few weeks I've gotten several texts and calls from friends just checking in to see how I'm doing. These are subtle attempts to let me know they care and if I need anything they are only a phone call away. A couple of them came from people who I never even realized knew about my difficulties this time of year......pretty awesome to know I have people who care that extend beyond my kids......
If you still don't feel comfortable than feel free to email me and we can chat...sometimes just having someone to listen to you helps......
I care so hopefully you will too
Marcus
observations-of-a-single-man@gmail.com
C'mon Target, show some restraint!
December 29/13
So I had to go into work today for a bit as I need to be off next weekend as it is my dad week and my son has an out of town hockey tournament and I don't miss them for anything, heck I can count on my left hand sans my thumb the number of games I've missed over his hockey career :)
I stopped at the new Target at the Hazeldean Mall to check out monitor prices, thinking of a second one for my home system but haven't quite convinced myself yet, and what do you think I saw front and center down the main aisle?
If you said Valentines Day cards and candy you win the grand prize.
Now I get that this day is just over the horizon in February but is there anything wrong with giving people a chance to recover from Christmas before starting to inundate everyone with reminders of how we need to have the perfect card and gift for our significant other else we come across as a loser? I mean for those who have a significant other that is.
Less than 5 days have passed since we celebrated the birth of the leading religious icon for western civilizations and already we must now face this new threat to our sanity.
I don't remember seeing these at Walmart when I was there yesterday so maybe I need to rethink shopping at Target going forward.
I understand the need to get the thought out there, but I also appreciate the change to catch my breathe before transitioning from a real holiday to one that was made up that really does nothing more than keep card and candy companies making money.
What is your take on how quickly merchants seem to move from one event to another?
Marcus
So I had to go into work today for a bit as I need to be off next weekend as it is my dad week and my son has an out of town hockey tournament and I don't miss them for anything, heck I can count on my left hand sans my thumb the number of games I've missed over his hockey career :)
I stopped at the new Target at the Hazeldean Mall to check out monitor prices, thinking of a second one for my home system but haven't quite convinced myself yet, and what do you think I saw front and center down the main aisle?
If you said Valentines Day cards and candy you win the grand prize.
Now I get that this day is just over the horizon in February but is there anything wrong with giving people a chance to recover from Christmas before starting to inundate everyone with reminders of how we need to have the perfect card and gift for our significant other else we come across as a loser? I mean for those who have a significant other that is.
Less than 5 days have passed since we celebrated the birth of the leading religious icon for western civilizations and already we must now face this new threat to our sanity.
I don't remember seeing these at Walmart when I was there yesterday so maybe I need to rethink shopping at Target going forward.
I understand the need to get the thought out there, but I also appreciate the change to catch my breathe before transitioning from a real holiday to one that was made up that really does nothing more than keep card and candy companies making money.
What is your take on how quickly merchants seem to move from one event to another?
Marcus
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Merry Christmas
December 25/13
Not really a blog entry today but more a message from me to you the readers.....
Over the course of the past year or so I've shared my thoughts, my experiences, and even my dreams through postings on this blog page. I hope they have entertained and made you take pause now and than to think about the things going on in your own lives.
As I sit back this evening and contemplate another Christmas and all it brings, I'd like to take this moment to wish each of you a Merry Christmas and very Happy Holiday's.
I'm using this quiet time to do some reflecting, well as I sit on the couch with Moki the Wonder Puppy I am doing it, and look forward to more blogs over the coming months.
Tomorrow is Boxing Day and for those brave enough to venture out to a mall I applaud you and also think you might need to seek some serious counselling lol
All the best and be good to one another :)
Marcus
Not really a blog entry today but more a message from me to you the readers.....
Over the course of the past year or so I've shared my thoughts, my experiences, and even my dreams through postings on this blog page. I hope they have entertained and made you take pause now and than to think about the things going on in your own lives.
As I sit back this evening and contemplate another Christmas and all it brings, I'd like to take this moment to wish each of you a Merry Christmas and very Happy Holiday's.
I'm using this quiet time to do some reflecting, well as I sit on the couch with Moki the Wonder Puppy I am doing it, and look forward to more blogs over the coming months.
Tomorrow is Boxing Day and for those brave enough to venture out to a mall I applaud you and also think you might need to seek some serious counselling lol
All the best and be good to one another :)
Marcus
Monday, December 23, 2013
Awesome Sunday
December 22/13
Sunday really turned out to be a great day.
Saturday night was my company Christmas party and I had a very nice time, would only have been better had I brought along a date but maybe next year :)
Saturday night transitioned into Sunday with more snow and delayed my son's flight from Mexico to Montreal and subsequent trip home until almost 2am. I texted with his mom telling her there was no rush on getting him to my place as the roads were bad, they were all tired and I had some errands to run.
I was able to get the last of my shopping done at Bayshore - amazing how the combination of getting there just as the doors opened at 10am and the poor roads due to all the snow can make life easier sometimes - and had a lot of them wrapped by the time he made it to my place around 3pm.
We spent about an hour getting caught up and than tackled getting the Christmas tree setup and decorated. Now this usually includes the daughter and more often than not means she takes the lead and we hand her things as directed, but yesterday was different as she was getting settled back into her new place, picked up her puppy from the friend who had been watching him, and spent time with the new boyfriend. So my son and I did the tree on our own and I have to say we talked about which decorations to include and worked pretty well as a team making our vision come to life.
Once we were done I cleaned up the mess, there is always a mess when the two of us do something together lol, and grabbed some food for us. We spent the rest of the night pretty much goofing around and trying our best to make the other fall off the couch as we watched the new Star Trek.
I love doing special things with my kids like taking a holiday or coaching them in soccer but have to say that some of the best memories come from the simplest of activities like watching a movie or just talking about anything and everything going on in our lives.
Should be a good week and looking forward to some big smiles come Wednesday morning :)
I'd like to take this moment to wish each of you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Years, hope that 2014 brings you health, happiness, and for those single like myself, maybe the opportunity to cross paths with the one........................
Marcus
Sunday really turned out to be a great day.
Saturday night was my company Christmas party and I had a very nice time, would only have been better had I brought along a date but maybe next year :)
Saturday night transitioned into Sunday with more snow and delayed my son's flight from Mexico to Montreal and subsequent trip home until almost 2am. I texted with his mom telling her there was no rush on getting him to my place as the roads were bad, they were all tired and I had some errands to run.
I was able to get the last of my shopping done at Bayshore - amazing how the combination of getting there just as the doors opened at 10am and the poor roads due to all the snow can make life easier sometimes - and had a lot of them wrapped by the time he made it to my place around 3pm.
We spent about an hour getting caught up and than tackled getting the Christmas tree setup and decorated. Now this usually includes the daughter and more often than not means she takes the lead and we hand her things as directed, but yesterday was different as she was getting settled back into her new place, picked up her puppy from the friend who had been watching him, and spent time with the new boyfriend. So my son and I did the tree on our own and I have to say we talked about which decorations to include and worked pretty well as a team making our vision come to life.
Once we were done I cleaned up the mess, there is always a mess when the two of us do something together lol, and grabbed some food for us. We spent the rest of the night pretty much goofing around and trying our best to make the other fall off the couch as we watched the new Star Trek.
I love doing special things with my kids like taking a holiday or coaching them in soccer but have to say that some of the best memories come from the simplest of activities like watching a movie or just talking about anything and everything going on in our lives.
Should be a good week and looking forward to some big smiles come Wednesday morning :)
I'd like to take this moment to wish each of you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Years, hope that 2014 brings you health, happiness, and for those single like myself, maybe the opportunity to cross paths with the one........................
Marcus
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Kanye West could learn something from Josh Zuchowksi
December 18/13
It has been a been a pretty busy week what with work, soccer, and trying to get ready for Christmas.
So busy in fact, that while I've missed my son tonnes, not so much that I've been moping around feeling sorry for myself. Trust me that is a good think as a mopey Marcus is not a pretty Marcus lol
A couple of things caught my attention this week and while they aren't directly related to one another, they do show the huge gap that can exist between people who are worthy of our admiration and those people whose view of their importance is completely out of kilter with reality.
If you think the latter is about our good friend Kanye West you're today's grand prize winner
How can someone who sings songs for a living, prances around a stage, refers to himself as Yeezus, and pretty much feels that he is the most important person on the planet ever lose touch with reality to such an extent that they compare what they do for a living with law enforcement officers or the military. Yet that is just what Kanye had the nerve to do recently when he said that he lays his life on the line and subjects himself daily to the same dangers confronting police officers and the outstanding men and women of the military. I'm sure reaching for the microphone as he makes his way from the backstage green room where he was relaxing preshow with his crew, drinking cold beverages, eating from a buffet spread, watching a large flat screen is exactly the same as standing over-watch from the lead vehicle in a convoy making its way through the streets of Bagdad. I mean if he ignores the distinct possibility of the vehicle hitting an IED, coming under sniper or mortar attack, or even human suicide bombers than he is right. Oh wait, he really isn't as there are still the random attacks on the camps where the soldiers live, the loss of family thousands of miles away that they go months and month's without seeing, and the limited avenues for recreation that they face every single day.
So when Kanye gets bored with writing his latest rap masterpiece he can jet from outside Paris to go to a club in London or New York, should he miss his fiancé and mother of his child he can arrange to go see them or have them come see him, when he gets bored watching his flat screen he can hop in a car and take a drive, go shopping, or even play a round of golf.
Unfortunately for the men and women in the military they don't have the option or the resources to do the same things he takes for granted, options that are won and protected by the sweat and sacrifice of others. The real hero's in today's world, not the fake wanna-be's who have to shout at the top of their lungs just how fucking incredible they are, how they are so important to our overall wellbeing.
On the one hand you have what I like to refer to as the douche bags of the world...people like Kanye West.......and on the other hand you have youngsters like Josh Zuchowksi who do things not for themselves, not to ring their own bells seeking acknowledgement of just how great they are, but rather because the actions they take make a difference in someone else's life, even if for but a moment of time.
Josh is 9 years old and lives down in Florida.
Josh likes to swim and from what I can tell, he is pretty darn good at it.
Josh has a main rival whom he has looked up to for years and used as motivation to improve his times meet over meet.
Josh's rival has been sick with a bone infection and unable to compete or even able to socialize with other kids for fear he might be contagious.
Josh took first place in a meet on December 7th and promptly sent the trophy and a get well card to Reese Branzell saying he'd rather come in second at a meet featuring both of them than win first in one without Reese.
How can a 9 year old behave with such kindness and empathy where a grown man has the audacity to compare his job with those putting their lives on the line day in and day out?
My hat is off to Josh for his kindness, to his parents for raising a well rounded young man, to Reese as he works hard to regain his form and can once more push himself and Josh in the pool.
Maybe my good friend Kanye could take a few moments from the danger of opening that plastic bottle of water to look around himself and see what real heros do every day without feeling the need for fanfare and public adulation.
Just one man's take on something he read about this past week.
Marcus
It has been a been a pretty busy week what with work, soccer, and trying to get ready for Christmas.
So busy in fact, that while I've missed my son tonnes, not so much that I've been moping around feeling sorry for myself. Trust me that is a good think as a mopey Marcus is not a pretty Marcus lol
A couple of things caught my attention this week and while they aren't directly related to one another, they do show the huge gap that can exist between people who are worthy of our admiration and those people whose view of their importance is completely out of kilter with reality.
If you think the latter is about our good friend Kanye West you're today's grand prize winner
How can someone who sings songs for a living, prances around a stage, refers to himself as Yeezus, and pretty much feels that he is the most important person on the planet ever lose touch with reality to such an extent that they compare what they do for a living with law enforcement officers or the military. Yet that is just what Kanye had the nerve to do recently when he said that he lays his life on the line and subjects himself daily to the same dangers confronting police officers and the outstanding men and women of the military. I'm sure reaching for the microphone as he makes his way from the backstage green room where he was relaxing preshow with his crew, drinking cold beverages, eating from a buffet spread, watching a large flat screen is exactly the same as standing over-watch from the lead vehicle in a convoy making its way through the streets of Bagdad. I mean if he ignores the distinct possibility of the vehicle hitting an IED, coming under sniper or mortar attack, or even human suicide bombers than he is right. Oh wait, he really isn't as there are still the random attacks on the camps where the soldiers live, the loss of family thousands of miles away that they go months and month's without seeing, and the limited avenues for recreation that they face every single day.
So when Kanye gets bored with writing his latest rap masterpiece he can jet from outside Paris to go to a club in London or New York, should he miss his fiancé and mother of his child he can arrange to go see them or have them come see him, when he gets bored watching his flat screen he can hop in a car and take a drive, go shopping, or even play a round of golf.
Unfortunately for the men and women in the military they don't have the option or the resources to do the same things he takes for granted, options that are won and protected by the sweat and sacrifice of others. The real hero's in today's world, not the fake wanna-be's who have to shout at the top of their lungs just how fucking incredible they are, how they are so important to our overall wellbeing.
On the one hand you have what I like to refer to as the douche bags of the world...people like Kanye West.......and on the other hand you have youngsters like Josh Zuchowksi who do things not for themselves, not to ring their own bells seeking acknowledgement of just how great they are, but rather because the actions they take make a difference in someone else's life, even if for but a moment of time.
Josh is 9 years old and lives down in Florida.
Josh likes to swim and from what I can tell, he is pretty darn good at it.
Josh has a main rival whom he has looked up to for years and used as motivation to improve his times meet over meet.
Josh's rival has been sick with a bone infection and unable to compete or even able to socialize with other kids for fear he might be contagious.
Josh took first place in a meet on December 7th and promptly sent the trophy and a get well card to Reese Branzell saying he'd rather come in second at a meet featuring both of them than win first in one without Reese.
How can a 9 year old behave with such kindness and empathy where a grown man has the audacity to compare his job with those putting their lives on the line day in and day out?
My hat is off to Josh for his kindness, to his parents for raising a well rounded young man, to Reese as he works hard to regain his form and can once more push himself and Josh in the pool.
Maybe my good friend Kanye could take a few moments from the danger of opening that plastic bottle of water to look around himself and see what real heros do every day without feeling the need for fanfare and public adulation.
Just one man's take on something he read about this past week.
Marcus
Saturday, December 14, 2013
One long week ahead of me.....
December 14/13
So this morning my son left for a week in Mexico with his mom, her boyfriend, and my daughter.
Now under our custody agreement we go one week on and one week off with our son but I almost always still see him at some point during my off week whether it be for a soccer or hockey game, so this week is going to be really tough as I can't remember the last time I went more than 4 days without seeing him.
Before anyone gets up in arms about my only commenting about missing my son rest assured I don't miss him more than her but the truth of the matter is that at 24 she is far more independent and has such an incredibly busy life that a week can go by where I don't see her, though we will chat via phone or text so I know who the current boyfriend is or what her puppy Benji has been up to lately.
I enjoy my time with my son as well as my "me" time as they both offer time doing things I enjoy. When it is time with my son you might find us seeing a movie, grabbing lunch at his favourite place - East Side Mario's, or having a Wii night with some serious battles in tennis, basketball, baseball, bowling, and even archery.
When it is my "me" time, I'll run errands, take in a movie, do some reading, research music, and on the odd occasion that my dating profile actually pays off, maybe meet someone for a drink.
Now with this week being close to month end and year end I'm sure to be busy at work so that will help keep me occupied for a bit, I'll probably do some final Christmas shopping, and maybe even get the basement cleaned up like I've been promising to do for weeks now. Hey, I'm not perfect lol
The one constant this week will be Moki the Wonder Puppy. Granted at almost 2 years and 4 months she can't really be called a puppy anymore, I'm going to refer to her that way as she'll always act like one, just as I hoped when we brought her home back in October 2011. When my son is with me she can be found fairly close to him as they have a great bond and when it is just me here at the house, well she is usually not too far away. As I write this in my home office I can look to my left and see her laying on her side in the hallway, every now and than opening her eyes to check on me.
It is funny to watch her in the morning when we first get moving as my son likes to take his shower when I take her for her walk and than he closes his bedroom door when he gets out and takes what he likes to call "a little rest". Well the closed door does not sit well with Moki and I wish I could somehow describe the look on her face when she gets to it at the end of the hallway upon our return home. Imagine the most hurt look a dog can give you when you've played some trick on it and than factor that up by 100 and you'll be a quarter way there to the look she sends my way for the closed door, like somehow I've conspired against her....maybe if the little bed hog didn't curl up into a ball right in the middle of the bed he'd let her in sometimes lol
Today as I was sitting on the couch she jumped off the back of it from her prime spot used to monitor everything going on in the house to come sit in my lap and laid her head down on my stomach, looking up at me with the saddest eyes. I rubbed behind her ears and told her I knew how she felt as I was missing the boy as well, whereupon she raised her head, jumped off the couch and an down to his room, only to return a moment later looking even more bummed out.
It dawned on me that even though I'm going to miss my son like crazy it will come nowhere near what Moki is going to feel this week, so now I've got to keep my head up and give her lots of attention in order to help her get through the week. Over the course of the last year Moki has gone from being my dog to our dog to his dog.
So given how cold it is right now, -18 with a wind chill of -30, guess I'll go grab something to drink, find a movie to watch on Netflix, and go and let Moki know she isn't alone.
Wishing everyone a great Saturday night and hopefully a warm one to boot :)
Marcus
So this morning my son left for a week in Mexico with his mom, her boyfriend, and my daughter.
Now under our custody agreement we go one week on and one week off with our son but I almost always still see him at some point during my off week whether it be for a soccer or hockey game, so this week is going to be really tough as I can't remember the last time I went more than 4 days without seeing him.
Before anyone gets up in arms about my only commenting about missing my son rest assured I don't miss him more than her but the truth of the matter is that at 24 she is far more independent and has such an incredibly busy life that a week can go by where I don't see her, though we will chat via phone or text so I know who the current boyfriend is or what her puppy Benji has been up to lately.
I enjoy my time with my son as well as my "me" time as they both offer time doing things I enjoy. When it is time with my son you might find us seeing a movie, grabbing lunch at his favourite place - East Side Mario's, or having a Wii night with some serious battles in tennis, basketball, baseball, bowling, and even archery.
When it is my "me" time, I'll run errands, take in a movie, do some reading, research music, and on the odd occasion that my dating profile actually pays off, maybe meet someone for a drink.
Now with this week being close to month end and year end I'm sure to be busy at work so that will help keep me occupied for a bit, I'll probably do some final Christmas shopping, and maybe even get the basement cleaned up like I've been promising to do for weeks now. Hey, I'm not perfect lol
The one constant this week will be Moki the Wonder Puppy. Granted at almost 2 years and 4 months she can't really be called a puppy anymore, I'm going to refer to her that way as she'll always act like one, just as I hoped when we brought her home back in October 2011. When my son is with me she can be found fairly close to him as they have a great bond and when it is just me here at the house, well she is usually not too far away. As I write this in my home office I can look to my left and see her laying on her side in the hallway, every now and than opening her eyes to check on me.
It is funny to watch her in the morning when we first get moving as my son likes to take his shower when I take her for her walk and than he closes his bedroom door when he gets out and takes what he likes to call "a little rest". Well the closed door does not sit well with Moki and I wish I could somehow describe the look on her face when she gets to it at the end of the hallway upon our return home. Imagine the most hurt look a dog can give you when you've played some trick on it and than factor that up by 100 and you'll be a quarter way there to the look she sends my way for the closed door, like somehow I've conspired against her....maybe if the little bed hog didn't curl up into a ball right in the middle of the bed he'd let her in sometimes lol
Today as I was sitting on the couch she jumped off the back of it from her prime spot used to monitor everything going on in the house to come sit in my lap and laid her head down on my stomach, looking up at me with the saddest eyes. I rubbed behind her ears and told her I knew how she felt as I was missing the boy as well, whereupon she raised her head, jumped off the couch and an down to his room, only to return a moment later looking even more bummed out.
It dawned on me that even though I'm going to miss my son like crazy it will come nowhere near what Moki is going to feel this week, so now I've got to keep my head up and give her lots of attention in order to help her get through the week. Over the course of the last year Moki has gone from being my dog to our dog to his dog.
So given how cold it is right now, -18 with a wind chill of -30, guess I'll go grab something to drink, find a movie to watch on Netflix, and go and let Moki know she isn't alone.
Wishing everyone a great Saturday night and hopefully a warm one to boot :)
Marcus
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Something is going on and I can't quite put my finger on it....yet
December 11/13
December is always a tough month for me as it is my mom's birthday month and a reminder of something I've lost, the month my son almost died, and while Xmas is a joyous occassion with smiles and laughter, it is also lonely at times as my kids will spend Christmas Eve and morning with one parent and than Christmas afternoon and Boxing Day with the other. Now this arrangement works well as it allows both my ex and I to spend time with our children but it also leaves a bit of a hole inside me when they depart or I'm alone on the Eve.....this year I'm the Eve and morning parent :)
But I have to admit that there is something else going on with me that I can't quite put my finger on yet. What is going on?
I'm extremley emotional these past few days.....literally almost anything leaves me battling back tears.
I see a great video about someone doing some random act of kindness and I want to cry.
I watch the HBO movie "Taking Change" and I want to cry.
I see a friends posting about the movie "Love Actually: and I want to cry.
I talk to a former g/f and learn she is getting married and expecting a child in the New Year and I want to cry....I know it isn't due to any sense of loss as we ended for all the right reasons and both were completely ok with the parting....but yet I still feel like crying
As I sit here writing this entry my eyes are misting up....
Maybe this might be a clue as to why I'm still single.........lol
Guess I'll be looking to see my doctor soon if things don't change as I really can't go through life fighting back tears now can I?
I'm perfectly fine with showing such emotions and don't think it reflects poorly on my masculinity in the least......but the ability to turn on the water works so easily is rather disturbing..........
Have you ever experienced such a thing before?
Dec 12/13 Side Note - a friend who reads the blog texted me that every 60 seconds spent feeling sad is a minute of life lost and suggested I go and hug Moki the Wonder Puppy to snap out of this funk.
I really don't feel sad at all....just feel like crying......strange......
On the way to drop my son off at school this morning I mentioned this cool WestJet YouTube video they created about being a secret Santa for two flights of passengers and as I told him about it I had to stop two times as I could feel myself choking up....he noticed and didn't say a word but as he got out of the car he leaned over and said what they did was pretty cool and it was ok to feel something inside about it and he got why I responded the way I did.........
December is always a tough month for me as it is my mom's birthday month and a reminder of something I've lost, the month my son almost died, and while Xmas is a joyous occassion with smiles and laughter, it is also lonely at times as my kids will spend Christmas Eve and morning with one parent and than Christmas afternoon and Boxing Day with the other. Now this arrangement works well as it allows both my ex and I to spend time with our children but it also leaves a bit of a hole inside me when they depart or I'm alone on the Eve.....this year I'm the Eve and morning parent :)
But I have to admit that there is something else going on with me that I can't quite put my finger on yet. What is going on?
I'm extremley emotional these past few days.....literally almost anything leaves me battling back tears.
I see a great video about someone doing some random act of kindness and I want to cry.
I watch the HBO movie "Taking Change" and I want to cry.
I see a friends posting about the movie "Love Actually: and I want to cry.
I talk to a former g/f and learn she is getting married and expecting a child in the New Year and I want to cry....I know it isn't due to any sense of loss as we ended for all the right reasons and both were completely ok with the parting....but yet I still feel like crying
As I sit here writing this entry my eyes are misting up....
Maybe this might be a clue as to why I'm still single.........lol
Guess I'll be looking to see my doctor soon if things don't change as I really can't go through life fighting back tears now can I?
I'm perfectly fine with showing such emotions and don't think it reflects poorly on my masculinity in the least......but the ability to turn on the water works so easily is rather disturbing..........
Have you ever experienced such a thing before?
Dec 12/13 Side Note - a friend who reads the blog texted me that every 60 seconds spent feeling sad is a minute of life lost and suggested I go and hug Moki the Wonder Puppy to snap out of this funk.
I really don't feel sad at all....just feel like crying......strange......
On the way to drop my son off at school this morning I mentioned this cool WestJet YouTube video they created about being a secret Santa for two flights of passengers and as I told him about it I had to stop two times as I could feel myself choking up....he noticed and didn't say a word but as he got out of the car he leaned over and said what they did was pretty cool and it was ok to feel something inside about it and he got why I responded the way I did.........
Monday, December 9, 2013
19 Signs You're Doing Better than You Think
December 09/13
Saturday I had the pleasure of watching my son help an elderly couple load groceries into their car and take the empty cart to the shopping cart collection point. When the old man tried to give him money for helping he politely declined and wished them both happy holidays. When he got to our car he saw me smiling at him and said "What?".....I didn't reply and just gave him a hug and smiled to myself at how fortunate I am in life.
Moments like that make me realize that no matter what else I do in life I've helped raise a caring and wonderful young man!!!!
Marcus
- You are alive.
- You are able to see the sunrise and the sunset.
- You are able to hear birds sing and waves crash.
- You can walk outside and feel the breeze through your hair and the sun’s warmth on your skin.
- You have tasted the sweetness of chocolate cake.
- You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.
- You awoke this morning with a roof over your head.
- You had a choice of what clothes to wear.
- You haven’t feared for your life today.
- You have overcome some considerable obstacles, and you have learned and survived.
- You often worry about what you’re going to do with your life – your career, your family, the next step, etc. – which means you have ambition, passion, drive, and the freedom to make your own decisions.
- You live in a country that protects your basic human rights and civil liberties.
- You are reasonably strong and healthy – if you got sick today, you could recover.
- You have a friend or relative who misses you and looks forward to your next visit.
- You have someone with whom to reminisce about ‘the good old days.’
- You have access to clean drinking water.
- You have access to medical care.
- You have access to the Internet.
- You can read.
Saturday I had the pleasure of watching my son help an elderly couple load groceries into their car and take the empty cart to the shopping cart collection point. When the old man tried to give him money for helping he politely declined and wished them both happy holidays. When he got to our car he saw me smiling at him and said "What?".....I didn't reply and just gave him a hug and smiled to myself at how fortunate I am in life.
Moments like that make me realize that no matter what else I do in life I've helped raise a caring and wonderful young man!!!!
Marcus
Sunday, December 1, 2013
A hug out of the blue that meant so much.
December 01/13
So as I've written more than once in the past, I'm a soccer coach and have been one on and off since 1996 starting with my daughter and transitioning over to my son's teams back in 2011.
Over the course of all those years I've had some amazing teams and some that left me scratching my head in wonder as to why I ever got involved in coaching - spoiler alert, my ex volunteered me lol
Back in 2012 I had probably one of the best teams I've ever coached, they won 16 of 17 games and the only blemish was a tie that was literally given to the other team by an incompetent referee - not my words but the coach from the other team who felt we had been robbed, nice to see sportsmanship alive and well :)
My 2012 team was strong across the board with one exception. We were assigned a player who we'll call M, now M has Aspergers Syndrome and according to his mom hadn't really enjoyed soccer prior to that season. I took it as a challenge to make sure he improved and had the best season of his young career but than went one step further when I tasked my son and two other players with looking out for M. I thought that if J, Z, and L all showed the team how much they cared about M that they would buy in as well and help him have a great season. As testimony to the kind of young men they all were, the season became a challenge to get M a goal, one they used set plays, trick plays, and wanted him left on the pitch for as long as he could run all in the desire to see him score. Now I'd love to say we got M his goal that season but we didn't, not for lack of trying that's for damned sure.
When the 2013 team list came out sure enough there was M assigned to my team once more. When I mentioned this to Chris, my assistant coach, he laughed and said the league must know how much M needs us in order to have a good season and I thought for a moment and said maybe what they know is how much I need M in order to be a good coach. Chris asked me what I meant and I said that having M around made me feel like a better coach in that it wasn`t all about the wins and goals anymore.
This season we were able to get M his first goal, well M did most of the work himself and I`ve posted before about the reaction we shared and the tears I let fall freely without any conscious thought.
Seems that the players from that 2012 team who advanced on to play in the U15/16 age division kept tabs on M and his progress as on Friday I was reminded about my challenge to those 3 players when I bumped into L when I stopped to buy some milk.
As I was coming out of the Quickie, L was coming down the sidewalk and when he saw me this huge smile lit his face up and instead of taking my outstretched hand for a handshake he wrapped both arms around me in a huge hug and said ``Way to go coach getting M his goal`` At first I was a little confused but soon realized what he meant and tried to explain how it was all M with some effort from J & Z to set him up (J being my son and Z being my assistant`s son). He smiled and said that might be true but my talk with them about taking M under their wings was what set it all in motion and made each of them realize what a special opportunity they had to do something nice for another person. We chatted for a moment and than went our separate ways, leaving me feeling a bit better on a somewhat cold and dreary night.
When I saw my son today as we helped his sister move into her own place he asked me if I`d cried any lately with a twinkle in his eye. I stopped what I was doing and looked at him and asked why that question and he said L had texted him on Friday to let him know he`d run into me and gave me a huge hug for M`s goal and to make sure he let me know there were still a few more players from the 2012 team looking to reward me for making M`s season............
There are times I despair at what I see when watching teenagers and than there are times like these when I know all it takes is some time and effort to help them realize the potential they all have inside.
With hockey now in full swing the odds are good that those other players will find me long before December comes to a close and while I know each meeting will result in some tears on my part, I can't wait for a couple more hugs as these young men express some joy in seeing another person succeed. All is not lost with our youth...as long as they turn out like these gentlemen have, things don't look too bad for us.........
So as I've written more than once in the past, I'm a soccer coach and have been one on and off since 1996 starting with my daughter and transitioning over to my son's teams back in 2011.
Over the course of all those years I've had some amazing teams and some that left me scratching my head in wonder as to why I ever got involved in coaching - spoiler alert, my ex volunteered me lol
Back in 2012 I had probably one of the best teams I've ever coached, they won 16 of 17 games and the only blemish was a tie that was literally given to the other team by an incompetent referee - not my words but the coach from the other team who felt we had been robbed, nice to see sportsmanship alive and well :)
My 2012 team was strong across the board with one exception. We were assigned a player who we'll call M, now M has Aspergers Syndrome and according to his mom hadn't really enjoyed soccer prior to that season. I took it as a challenge to make sure he improved and had the best season of his young career but than went one step further when I tasked my son and two other players with looking out for M. I thought that if J, Z, and L all showed the team how much they cared about M that they would buy in as well and help him have a great season. As testimony to the kind of young men they all were, the season became a challenge to get M a goal, one they used set plays, trick plays, and wanted him left on the pitch for as long as he could run all in the desire to see him score. Now I'd love to say we got M his goal that season but we didn't, not for lack of trying that's for damned sure.
When the 2013 team list came out sure enough there was M assigned to my team once more. When I mentioned this to Chris, my assistant coach, he laughed and said the league must know how much M needs us in order to have a good season and I thought for a moment and said maybe what they know is how much I need M in order to be a good coach. Chris asked me what I meant and I said that having M around made me feel like a better coach in that it wasn`t all about the wins and goals anymore.
This season we were able to get M his first goal, well M did most of the work himself and I`ve posted before about the reaction we shared and the tears I let fall freely without any conscious thought.
Seems that the players from that 2012 team who advanced on to play in the U15/16 age division kept tabs on M and his progress as on Friday I was reminded about my challenge to those 3 players when I bumped into L when I stopped to buy some milk.
As I was coming out of the Quickie, L was coming down the sidewalk and when he saw me this huge smile lit his face up and instead of taking my outstretched hand for a handshake he wrapped both arms around me in a huge hug and said ``Way to go coach getting M his goal`` At first I was a little confused but soon realized what he meant and tried to explain how it was all M with some effort from J & Z to set him up (J being my son and Z being my assistant`s son). He smiled and said that might be true but my talk with them about taking M under their wings was what set it all in motion and made each of them realize what a special opportunity they had to do something nice for another person. We chatted for a moment and than went our separate ways, leaving me feeling a bit better on a somewhat cold and dreary night.
When I saw my son today as we helped his sister move into her own place he asked me if I`d cried any lately with a twinkle in his eye. I stopped what I was doing and looked at him and asked why that question and he said L had texted him on Friday to let him know he`d run into me and gave me a huge hug for M`s goal and to make sure he let me know there were still a few more players from the 2012 team looking to reward me for making M`s season............
There are times I despair at what I see when watching teenagers and than there are times like these when I know all it takes is some time and effort to help them realize the potential they all have inside.
With hockey now in full swing the odds are good that those other players will find me long before December comes to a close and while I know each meeting will result in some tears on my part, I can't wait for a couple more hugs as these young men express some joy in seeing another person succeed. All is not lost with our youth...as long as they turn out like these gentlemen have, things don't look too bad for us.........
Thursday, November 28, 2013
The curious mind of a teenager rears it's head once again.......
November 28/13
Well another week of repeating grade nine is coming to an end as my son rotates back to his mom starting tomorrow and I can honestly say I have nothing planned for the weekend other than some much needed rest.
This past weekend he asked for my help on completing on a science project that I can honestly say was far in excess of anything I tackled when I was actually back in grade nine for real. This is my 3rd go-round in grade nine having done so before with my daughter and now once more with my son, hopefully this is the last time too lol
We were out on Saturday picking up supplies, just chatting about this and that, no real topic driving the conversation when out of the blue he told me he wasn't seeing anyone but rather just being the class stud. I laughed so hard I almost wet myself and caught him smiling, knowing that had been his objective all along, he tends to think I'm too serious and don't laugh anywhere near enough, once more showing how attentive he is to the small things.
I asked if he even knew what the word meant and he gave me one of those patented teenager to parent looks that pretty much says "you've got to be kidding right old man" and than asked me something that made me take a moment and think before replying "Dad, when you were in your twenties you slept with a lot of women right?"
I think I took longer to respond than he expected as he asked me if I was OK and I didn't have to answer the question if it made me uncomfortable. As I pulled into the parking spot at our next stop I looked over and told him that the question caught me off guard but the promise I made him many, many years ago to answer any all questions he asked me as honestly as possible still stood and would do so till I take my last breathe. That made him smile and raise an eyebrow as if to say "so...."
By this time we were getting out of the car and heading into Michael's Arts & Crafts and as we walked towards the front door I said that the number of women I dated in my twenties was more than I liked to admit but that the number I slept with was far far lower than what he or anyone thought.
His next question was why didn't I sleep with more if I dated a lot of women. I stopped to face him and said that going out with someone doesn't mean and should never mean there is an expectation of sleeping together, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a platonic friendship with a woman who you find interesting without a physical click. We walked a bit filling our list of things we needed and than he bumped me and said that was why he was unwilling to really get involved with any of the girls he knows as he likes them all as friends. I leaned over and asked if he realized that probably more than one or two had a thing for him, as he fought back a blush he said he knew a couple who did but he didn't want to hurt any one's feelings and felt it better to stay single and have them as friends.
As we were checking out he did something that made me want to gag him....without thinking he asked me "so how many women have you slept with?" right in front of about 8-10 women, including the rather attractive woman ringing up our order.
As I turned to stare at him in dumbfounded amazement he realized what he had done and sheepishly said "That was my outside voice wasn't it?" and everyone started to laugh, much to my relief lol
I grabbed the bag and handed it to him just as the cashier leaned over and said to him "Don't forget to make your dad answer your question" and smiled at me............
After we were in the car I told him that the number of women I've slept with number less than the fingers on my two hands, that while that might not make me a stud by any definition, it was something I was proud of and hoped he would take to heart as things developed with him in that area over the coming years.
He asked me if I had ever discussed this with his mom when we were together and I said no, we had both approached our history before we met as just that, water under the bridge, and that I would do so with anyone I might meet in the future. I was looking to date the here and now woman and not her past.
We didn't really say much more on the drive home but I could tell from the look on his face that there were things going on upstairs in his head and decided to wait him out.
What came out later both upset me and made me proud of the young man I am raising.....but that is a story for another day..............
I have not slept around at any point in my life as for me I need to feel something inside before letting the little head make any decisions.....my guy friends have teased me about this for years but in the long run they don't see my face in the mirror in the morning, I do and I need to be able to look myself in the mirror and respect the person I see.....and so far in life I can......
Well another week of repeating grade nine is coming to an end as my son rotates back to his mom starting tomorrow and I can honestly say I have nothing planned for the weekend other than some much needed rest.
This past weekend he asked for my help on completing on a science project that I can honestly say was far in excess of anything I tackled when I was actually back in grade nine for real. This is my 3rd go-round in grade nine having done so before with my daughter and now once more with my son, hopefully this is the last time too lol
We were out on Saturday picking up supplies, just chatting about this and that, no real topic driving the conversation when out of the blue he told me he wasn't seeing anyone but rather just being the class stud. I laughed so hard I almost wet myself and caught him smiling, knowing that had been his objective all along, he tends to think I'm too serious and don't laugh anywhere near enough, once more showing how attentive he is to the small things.
I asked if he even knew what the word meant and he gave me one of those patented teenager to parent looks that pretty much says "you've got to be kidding right old man" and than asked me something that made me take a moment and think before replying "Dad, when you were in your twenties you slept with a lot of women right?"
I think I took longer to respond than he expected as he asked me if I was OK and I didn't have to answer the question if it made me uncomfortable. As I pulled into the parking spot at our next stop I looked over and told him that the question caught me off guard but the promise I made him many, many years ago to answer any all questions he asked me as honestly as possible still stood and would do so till I take my last breathe. That made him smile and raise an eyebrow as if to say "so...."
By this time we were getting out of the car and heading into Michael's Arts & Crafts and as we walked towards the front door I said that the number of women I dated in my twenties was more than I liked to admit but that the number I slept with was far far lower than what he or anyone thought.
His next question was why didn't I sleep with more if I dated a lot of women. I stopped to face him and said that going out with someone doesn't mean and should never mean there is an expectation of sleeping together, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a platonic friendship with a woman who you find interesting without a physical click. We walked a bit filling our list of things we needed and than he bumped me and said that was why he was unwilling to really get involved with any of the girls he knows as he likes them all as friends. I leaned over and asked if he realized that probably more than one or two had a thing for him, as he fought back a blush he said he knew a couple who did but he didn't want to hurt any one's feelings and felt it better to stay single and have them as friends.
As we were checking out he did something that made me want to gag him....without thinking he asked me "so how many women have you slept with?" right in front of about 8-10 women, including the rather attractive woman ringing up our order.
As I turned to stare at him in dumbfounded amazement he realized what he had done and sheepishly said "That was my outside voice wasn't it?" and everyone started to laugh, much to my relief lol
I grabbed the bag and handed it to him just as the cashier leaned over and said to him "Don't forget to make your dad answer your question" and smiled at me............
After we were in the car I told him that the number of women I've slept with number less than the fingers on my two hands, that while that might not make me a stud by any definition, it was something I was proud of and hoped he would take to heart as things developed with him in that area over the coming years.
He asked me if I had ever discussed this with his mom when we were together and I said no, we had both approached our history before we met as just that, water under the bridge, and that I would do so with anyone I might meet in the future. I was looking to date the here and now woman and not her past.
We didn't really say much more on the drive home but I could tell from the look on his face that there were things going on upstairs in his head and decided to wait him out.
What came out later both upset me and made me proud of the young man I am raising.....but that is a story for another day..............
I have not slept around at any point in my life as for me I need to feel something inside before letting the little head make any decisions.....my guy friends have teased me about this for years but in the long run they don't see my face in the mirror in the morning, I do and I need to be able to look myself in the mirror and respect the person I see.....and so far in life I can......
Friday, November 22, 2013
Déjà vu
November 22/13
Déjà vu hit me like a freight train today when I got a text from my son while I was at work......
There was a bunch of his buddies going to see the new Hunger Games tonight and seems there were also some young ladies meeting the guys there and he wanted to know if he could go.
I told him of course and when I asked what time the movie was and who all was going he dropped a few names that I knew and said he wasn't sure of the times yet, being the helpful dad that I am I checked the website and let him know starting times and that I'd be home around 5:30 and could drive him to the theatre. He responded saying they were seeing the one near 7pm and one of the guys dad's was driving a few there and could go with them as they wanted to leave around 5:30....I said of course and to use some of the money in his wallet and I'd replace it over the weekend.
When I got home he was just getting ready to and said they had decided to do the pick up for 6pm and he was glad to see me, coming over to give me a hug. Now some of you might not think that a big deal but anytime a fourteen year is willing to give his dad a hug and say I love you it is a huge deal....something I look forward to each Friday when he is with me.
We sat and talked a bit about his week at school, the hockey tournament this weekend, and his request that I help him with a science project because as he put it "we get to make a cool replica of an atom".........just another moment with him I'll grab onto every chance I get.
The door bell rang and as I answered it he went to get his shoes on and grab his jacket, at the door were two of his buddies and I asked which one's dad was driving and told him to let his dad know I'd pick them up and run them home after the movie so one parent wasn't stuck doing car duty, the boys laughed and said thank you, and as my son walked down the front steps I called out to make sure he had his cell phone and money, he turned and as he rolled his eyes said "yes, now stop worrying"
As they got into the car I heard one of the other lads say "your dad is just like mine, always making sure I'm good to go and staying safe" and than there was some good hearted laughter.
I went and sat on the couch and as I rubbed Moki the Wonder Puppy's back said to her "Seems like only yesterday that was me out there doing the exact same thing on a Friday with my friends"
Now that I think about it that is exactly what used to happen with me and my friends. Sometimes my mom would drive and either Rich's or Steve's mom would pick us up after watching a movie down at the old AMC theatre in Fashion Valley......heck I think we even used to hope to meet some nice girls and maybe get a number or two for a future movie
No matter how much things change in our lives, some things really don't change do they.........
Déjà vu hit me like a freight train today when I got a text from my son while I was at work......
There was a bunch of his buddies going to see the new Hunger Games tonight and seems there were also some young ladies meeting the guys there and he wanted to know if he could go.
I told him of course and when I asked what time the movie was and who all was going he dropped a few names that I knew and said he wasn't sure of the times yet, being the helpful dad that I am I checked the website and let him know starting times and that I'd be home around 5:30 and could drive him to the theatre. He responded saying they were seeing the one near 7pm and one of the guys dad's was driving a few there and could go with them as they wanted to leave around 5:30....I said of course and to use some of the money in his wallet and I'd replace it over the weekend.
When I got home he was just getting ready to and said they had decided to do the pick up for 6pm and he was glad to see me, coming over to give me a hug. Now some of you might not think that a big deal but anytime a fourteen year is willing to give his dad a hug and say I love you it is a huge deal....something I look forward to each Friday when he is with me.
We sat and talked a bit about his week at school, the hockey tournament this weekend, and his request that I help him with a science project because as he put it "we get to make a cool replica of an atom".........just another moment with him I'll grab onto every chance I get.
The door bell rang and as I answered it he went to get his shoes on and grab his jacket, at the door were two of his buddies and I asked which one's dad was driving and told him to let his dad know I'd pick them up and run them home after the movie so one parent wasn't stuck doing car duty, the boys laughed and said thank you, and as my son walked down the front steps I called out to make sure he had his cell phone and money, he turned and as he rolled his eyes said "yes, now stop worrying"
As they got into the car I heard one of the other lads say "your dad is just like mine, always making sure I'm good to go and staying safe" and than there was some good hearted laughter.
I went and sat on the couch and as I rubbed Moki the Wonder Puppy's back said to her "Seems like only yesterday that was me out there doing the exact same thing on a Friday with my friends"
Now that I think about it that is exactly what used to happen with me and my friends. Sometimes my mom would drive and either Rich's or Steve's mom would pick us up after watching a movie down at the old AMC theatre in Fashion Valley......heck I think we even used to hope to meet some nice girls and maybe get a number or two for a future movie
No matter how much things change in our lives, some things really don't change do they.........
Great way to start the weekend
November 22/13
TGIF everyone and happy Saturday to those across the international date line reading the blog :)
So today I had an appointment at the Apple Store at Bayshore and had the funniest thing happen on my way there, well as I was leaving my office that is.
As I was walking down the stairs from the 3rd floor a woman came into the stairwell from the second floor and glanced at me as she started down towards the ground floor. As she made the turn half way down she paused to look at me again, I took this as a sign she wanted me to go first and smiled at her and said "I'm in no rush" and we proceeded to walk down side by side.
She turned and smiled at me and said she knew me from somewhere, thought for a moment and asked if I was on a dating site, I felt a momentary blush of embarrasment and said I was, whereupon she asked me if I wrote a blog, at this I started to laugh and confessed I did and named the blog.
As we crossed into the lobby I said this chance encounter would make for a nice entry and she agreed, saying that whole small world thing I wrote about a few weeks ago was coming back to bite me in the rear lol
It is these types of things that transpire in my day to day life that make me smile, enjoy the moment so to speak, and help me deal with all the other little things that pop up now and than that can make a good day bad.
Afterwards, as I drove around the parking structure at Bayshore, not even the traffic or rude drivers that I came into contact with were enough to make the glow of that chance stairwell rendezvous go away. Waiting for my service appointment at the Apple Store was easier, listening to the woman next to me complain how the Genus bar employee wasn't staying with her while her new iPad was made ready was more bearable, all because a stranger made me smile, made me laugh, and made me realize that it is the little things in life that matter the most.
It is amazing how such a small feat can manifest itself in one's emotional state and leave them blissfully ignorant of those not experiencing the same mental state, like the guy who got mad at the lady taking a tad bit too long to back out of the parking spot he wanted so he felt the need to lean on his horn.......
I hope each of you can experience such a moment as I did on the stairwell....it left me feeling warm and fuzzy all over......a great way to feel heading into what looks like a rather wet, damp, cold, and somewhat dreary weekend.
Nevertheless I shall face it all with a smile and skip in my step :)
Have a great weekend everyone :)
Marcus
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
TGIF everyone and happy Saturday to those across the international date line reading the blog :)
So today I had an appointment at the Apple Store at Bayshore and had the funniest thing happen on my way there, well as I was leaving my office that is.
As I was walking down the stairs from the 3rd floor a woman came into the stairwell from the second floor and glanced at me as she started down towards the ground floor. As she made the turn half way down she paused to look at me again, I took this as a sign she wanted me to go first and smiled at her and said "I'm in no rush" and we proceeded to walk down side by side.
She turned and smiled at me and said she knew me from somewhere, thought for a moment and asked if I was on a dating site, I felt a momentary blush of embarrasment and said I was, whereupon she asked me if I wrote a blog, at this I started to laugh and confessed I did and named the blog.
As we crossed into the lobby I said this chance encounter would make for a nice entry and she agreed, saying that whole small world thing I wrote about a few weeks ago was coming back to bite me in the rear lol
It is these types of things that transpire in my day to day life that make me smile, enjoy the moment so to speak, and help me deal with all the other little things that pop up now and than that can make a good day bad.
Afterwards, as I drove around the parking structure at Bayshore, not even the traffic or rude drivers that I came into contact with were enough to make the glow of that chance stairwell rendezvous go away. Waiting for my service appointment at the Apple Store was easier, listening to the woman next to me complain how the Genus bar employee wasn't staying with her while her new iPad was made ready was more bearable, all because a stranger made me smile, made me laugh, and made me realize that it is the little things in life that matter the most.
It is amazing how such a small feat can manifest itself in one's emotional state and leave them blissfully ignorant of those not experiencing the same mental state, like the guy who got mad at the lady taking a tad bit too long to back out of the parking spot he wanted so he felt the need to lean on his horn.......
I hope each of you can experience such a moment as I did on the stairwell....it left me feeling warm and fuzzy all over......a great way to feel heading into what looks like a rather wet, damp, cold, and somewhat dreary weekend.
Nevertheless I shall face it all with a smile and skip in my step :)
Have a great weekend everyone :)
Marcus
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
My Confession by Ben Stein
November 19/13
A friend just passed the following along to me saying it made her think of me.....I take that as a compliment and am pretty confident that is how she meant it.
This was recited by Ben Stein recently on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary and I whole heartedly agree with every single word!
A friend just passed the following along to me saying it made her think of me.....I take that as a compliment and am pretty confident that is how she meant it.
This was recited by Ben Stein recently on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary and I whole heartedly agree with every single word!
My confession:
I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians.
I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period.
I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?
I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
In light of recent events - terrorists attacks, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.
Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school.
The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbour as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with, 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.
Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing yet?
Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit.
If not, then just discard it. No one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.
My Best Regards, Honestly and Respectfully,
Ben Stein
Q & A
November 19/13
I received the following message and thought I'd post the exchange in case anyone else has the same thoughts.
"Hi Marcus
I love the blog but am wondering two things: Why do you take so long sometimes to post entries and are you really a guy as there are times it seems like you really see things more from a females perspective than a males.
Thanks and look forward to hearing back from you.
Beth"
Let me address these in the order asked.
I don't have any schedule to live by in regards to the blog but rather post entries when something piques my interest, sparks a thought, or needs to be addressed in order to re balance my inner Qi.
I will say that there are many times I have a thought and begin to write an entry only to stop before completion as it just doesn't feel right to me, so I take the time to set is aside and wait until I can make it whole. At this point in time I have 5 draft postings on the go on a number of topics. The process is somewhat helter skelter as some of the topics hit me out of the blue and I mentally write them if pen and paper aren't available, this can be kind of hit or miss as I can usually remember the key points but some of the supporting verbiage is lost, these lost words are necessary to tie everything together into a neat and readable post. I'm getting better at using the record function on my iPhone and iPod but it takes me some time to incorporate new technology into my day to day life.
As to my expressed views and the mistaken belief that I must not be male because some of them resonate the female point of view , let me assure you I am 100% male and only write from the heart. Maybe I've just been lucky in life that I never embraced the mantra that real men don't cry or let feelings interfere with life. Real men do cry, we feel pain, and we are equally scared of a lot of the same things women are. There have been a few times, like less than five, where I've run a post past a friend and incorporated her feedback in the final form, but the underlying basis is and always has been mine.
I'm not a meta sexual, new age man, or any other such thing. I'm just your average run of the mill, kind of guy who you see literally every day as you make your way through life. This isn't some self deprecating put down on my part, something I've been more than guilty of doing in the past. It is just the reality of life. For every Ryan Reynolds there are thousands of guys like me who go through life being the best we can be, for ourselves, for our families, and for our communities.
I think this pretty saying pretty much sums it up best in regards to moi:
I am who I am, nothing less, nothing more
It is Tuesday so mistakes will be made.....I'm good with it as it is part of life and an ever ongoing learning process
Marcus
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
I received the following message and thought I'd post the exchange in case anyone else has the same thoughts.
"Hi Marcus
I love the blog but am wondering two things: Why do you take so long sometimes to post entries and are you really a guy as there are times it seems like you really see things more from a females perspective than a males.
Thanks and look forward to hearing back from you.
Beth"
Let me address these in the order asked.
I don't have any schedule to live by in regards to the blog but rather post entries when something piques my interest, sparks a thought, or needs to be addressed in order to re balance my inner Qi.
I will say that there are many times I have a thought and begin to write an entry only to stop before completion as it just doesn't feel right to me, so I take the time to set is aside and wait until I can make it whole. At this point in time I have 5 draft postings on the go on a number of topics. The process is somewhat helter skelter as some of the topics hit me out of the blue and I mentally write them if pen and paper aren't available, this can be kind of hit or miss as I can usually remember the key points but some of the supporting verbiage is lost, these lost words are necessary to tie everything together into a neat and readable post. I'm getting better at using the record function on my iPhone and iPod but it takes me some time to incorporate new technology into my day to day life.
As to my expressed views and the mistaken belief that I must not be male because some of them resonate the female point of view , let me assure you I am 100% male and only write from the heart. Maybe I've just been lucky in life that I never embraced the mantra that real men don't cry or let feelings interfere with life. Real men do cry, we feel pain, and we are equally scared of a lot of the same things women are. There have been a few times, like less than five, where I've run a post past a friend and incorporated her feedback in the final form, but the underlying basis is and always has been mine.
I'm not a meta sexual, new age man, or any other such thing. I'm just your average run of the mill, kind of guy who you see literally every day as you make your way through life. This isn't some self deprecating put down on my part, something I've been more than guilty of doing in the past. It is just the reality of life. For every Ryan Reynolds there are thousands of guys like me who go through life being the best we can be, for ourselves, for our families, and for our communities.
I think this pretty saying pretty much sums it up best in regards to moi:
I am who I am, nothing less, nothing more
It is Tuesday so mistakes will be made.....I'm good with it as it is part of life and an ever ongoing learning process
Marcus
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
Monday, November 11, 2013
Lest we forget......
Nov 11/11
In loving memory of my great grandfather who rests quietly in Flanders field having made the ultimate sacrifice for family, king, and nation.
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
In loving memory of my great grandfather who rests quietly in Flanders field having made the ultimate sacrifice for family, king, and nation.
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
John McCrae
For Better or Worse comic strip link - awesome message in today's strip http://catalog.fborfw.com/strips/97/fb971109.gif
For Better or Worse comic strip link - awesome message in today's strip http://catalog.fborfw.com/strips/97/fb971109.gif
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Each of us has a different viewpoint of the actions we observe.
November 09/13
Been a fun weekend so far with some well spent time with my son, errands run, a movie outing planned with the kids for Sunday, and a few chores done around the house.
As you may have read from prior posts, hockey season has started for my son, winter indoor soccer is well underway for my daughter, and my weekends aren't always my own to do with as I want and I'm good with that.
Most weekends will see a hockey practice and a game for my son but last weekend and this weekend seem to be aberrations to the norm as they've each had a Saturday night practice followed by a midweek game. One new thing for me is that my son doesn't want either his mom or I to hang around and watch practices as he feels that is for younger kids, not a big deal for me as I live fairly close to each of the 3 arenas used in the league so I drop him off and will either run an errand or head back home for the 50 minutes he is on the ice. That was the plan tonight as I dropped him off and than swung by Tim Horton's to grab an iced cappuccino for myself and a Boston cream for him as a treat for after practice.
There was a bit of a line inside so as I took my spot in it I scanned the display case to make sure they even had a Boston cream.... no luck as the spot was empty but as I looked for a suitable substitute out came a new tray that included the desired Boston cream.....looking good so far
As I waited in line a woman came up behind me with her two young sons just as I notice a woman at the cash who was using one of those wheeled walkers and it looked like she had a quite the order going as I counted 2 coffees, 2 muffins, and 2 iced lemonades. I wondered how she was going to manage it all and just did what came naturally by asking the gentleman in front of me if he could save my place and he said sure, so I walked over and told the woman I would be more than happy to help her and asked the person placing the drinks on the counter if they had a tray, the woman smiled and said thank you as I arranged the goodies on the tray and followed her to her table. Sitting there was her very old mom and what looked like twin girls around 5 years old. The old lady smiled at me and thanked me for helping her daughter saying normally she'd have done so but the girls were a little tired and cranky tonight. I told them it was my pleasure and to have a nice night.
Now all of this took maybe 2-3 minutes max and the line hadn't moved more than 1 or 2 people as I walked back to my spot in line, well what I thought was my spot but was soon told otherwise.
The gentleman who had agreed to save my spot for me made to move to make some room for me when the lady who had been standing behind me moved right up into the space he had created, I didn't think anything of it and just said excuse me whereupon she turned to look at me and said matter of fact "You got out of line so now you have to go to the end" as one of her sons asked her why was I trying to cut the line and it wasn't fair of me to do that.
I stood there not knowing what to say when the gentleman who had saved my spot turned to look at her and explained he had saved my spot so I could help someone with a large order, she looked at him and said she didn't care as I never asked her if I could leave the line and return so my place was lost as far as she was concerned and proceeded to give him a smug look as if that logic should explain it all. He started to say something to her and I smiled at him and said thanks but it isn't worth the effort or scene and walked to the back of the line. By this time several people were muttering about the woman and how rude she was being but I just laughed it off and said there are more important things to get upset about. With that remark she turned to me and said she didn't appreciate my attitude and undermining her efforts to teach her children right from wrong!
Now to say my jaw dropped would have been putting it mildly but still I wasn't going to let this woman ruin my mood or weekend so I smiled at her and wished her a good evening.
Seems that none of this went unnoticed as the manager came over, gave her a very evil look, and turned to me to ask what I was going to order when I got to the front, I told him my order not expecting anything of it when he turned to one of the young kids working behind the counter and told them to prepare a large iced capp and dozen donuts with at least 2 Boston Creams in the mix, when it was ready they handed it to him and he gave them to me and wished me a good night, I went to give him money and he waved it off with a smile saying one good act deserved another. I felt kind of embarrassed and thanked him and as I walked towards the door the gentleman who had been in front of me called out "Thank you for reminding us what a simple act of kindness means"
Now I didn't do what I did in order to get my order for free, but rather for the simple fact that I was in a position to do a simple favour that made things a bit easier for someone who needed a hand at that particular moment. Something I've done numerous times in the past and will undoubtedly do numerous times in the future as it's just how I'm wired.
If my son had been there I know he would have made that same move and probably long before it even dawned on me as that is the way his mom and I have raised him and his sister. The sad fact is that here was an opportunity for this woman to teach her sons right from wrong and set an example that might pay dividends later in life for them, but instead she focused on something as shirt sighted as the fact that I left line and didn't ask her permission since she was directly behind me.
My view was someone needed some assistance and I was in a position to help. Her view was my leaving line potentially cut her wait time down by a minute or two.
I wonder who benefited the most emotionally from their viewpoint.....
Earlier today while driving down to the Rideau Centre with my son he plugged his iPhone into the USB jack and shared some new tunes with me, he continues to impress me with the range of music that he listens to on a daily basis.....two that caught my ear were "Willst Du" by Robin Schulz and "Another Love" by Tom Odell
The first has lyrics in German but the instrumental is awesome where the second combines a good rhythm with lyrics that make you wonder about his loss..........
Been a fun weekend so far with some well spent time with my son, errands run, a movie outing planned with the kids for Sunday, and a few chores done around the house.
As you may have read from prior posts, hockey season has started for my son, winter indoor soccer is well underway for my daughter, and my weekends aren't always my own to do with as I want and I'm good with that.
Most weekends will see a hockey practice and a game for my son but last weekend and this weekend seem to be aberrations to the norm as they've each had a Saturday night practice followed by a midweek game. One new thing for me is that my son doesn't want either his mom or I to hang around and watch practices as he feels that is for younger kids, not a big deal for me as I live fairly close to each of the 3 arenas used in the league so I drop him off and will either run an errand or head back home for the 50 minutes he is on the ice. That was the plan tonight as I dropped him off and than swung by Tim Horton's to grab an iced cappuccino for myself and a Boston cream for him as a treat for after practice.
There was a bit of a line inside so as I took my spot in it I scanned the display case to make sure they even had a Boston cream.... no luck as the spot was empty but as I looked for a suitable substitute out came a new tray that included the desired Boston cream.....looking good so far
As I waited in line a woman came up behind me with her two young sons just as I notice a woman at the cash who was using one of those wheeled walkers and it looked like she had a quite the order going as I counted 2 coffees, 2 muffins, and 2 iced lemonades. I wondered how she was going to manage it all and just did what came naturally by asking the gentleman in front of me if he could save my place and he said sure, so I walked over and told the woman I would be more than happy to help her and asked the person placing the drinks on the counter if they had a tray, the woman smiled and said thank you as I arranged the goodies on the tray and followed her to her table. Sitting there was her very old mom and what looked like twin girls around 5 years old. The old lady smiled at me and thanked me for helping her daughter saying normally she'd have done so but the girls were a little tired and cranky tonight. I told them it was my pleasure and to have a nice night.
Now all of this took maybe 2-3 minutes max and the line hadn't moved more than 1 or 2 people as I walked back to my spot in line, well what I thought was my spot but was soon told otherwise.
The gentleman who had agreed to save my spot for me made to move to make some room for me when the lady who had been standing behind me moved right up into the space he had created, I didn't think anything of it and just said excuse me whereupon she turned to look at me and said matter of fact "You got out of line so now you have to go to the end" as one of her sons asked her why was I trying to cut the line and it wasn't fair of me to do that.
I stood there not knowing what to say when the gentleman who had saved my spot turned to look at her and explained he had saved my spot so I could help someone with a large order, she looked at him and said she didn't care as I never asked her if I could leave the line and return so my place was lost as far as she was concerned and proceeded to give him a smug look as if that logic should explain it all. He started to say something to her and I smiled at him and said thanks but it isn't worth the effort or scene and walked to the back of the line. By this time several people were muttering about the woman and how rude she was being but I just laughed it off and said there are more important things to get upset about. With that remark she turned to me and said she didn't appreciate my attitude and undermining her efforts to teach her children right from wrong!
Now to say my jaw dropped would have been putting it mildly but still I wasn't going to let this woman ruin my mood or weekend so I smiled at her and wished her a good evening.
Seems that none of this went unnoticed as the manager came over, gave her a very evil look, and turned to me to ask what I was going to order when I got to the front, I told him my order not expecting anything of it when he turned to one of the young kids working behind the counter and told them to prepare a large iced capp and dozen donuts with at least 2 Boston Creams in the mix, when it was ready they handed it to him and he gave them to me and wished me a good night, I went to give him money and he waved it off with a smile saying one good act deserved another. I felt kind of embarrassed and thanked him and as I walked towards the door the gentleman who had been in front of me called out "Thank you for reminding us what a simple act of kindness means"
Now I didn't do what I did in order to get my order for free, but rather for the simple fact that I was in a position to do a simple favour that made things a bit easier for someone who needed a hand at that particular moment. Something I've done numerous times in the past and will undoubtedly do numerous times in the future as it's just how I'm wired.
If my son had been there I know he would have made that same move and probably long before it even dawned on me as that is the way his mom and I have raised him and his sister. The sad fact is that here was an opportunity for this woman to teach her sons right from wrong and set an example that might pay dividends later in life for them, but instead she focused on something as shirt sighted as the fact that I left line and didn't ask her permission since she was directly behind me.
My view was someone needed some assistance and I was in a position to help. Her view was my leaving line potentially cut her wait time down by a minute or two.
I wonder who benefited the most emotionally from their viewpoint.....
Earlier today while driving down to the Rideau Centre with my son he plugged his iPhone into the USB jack and shared some new tunes with me, he continues to impress me with the range of music that he listens to on a daily basis.....two that caught my ear were "Willst Du" by Robin Schulz and "Another Love" by Tom Odell
The first has lyrics in German but the instrumental is awesome where the second combines a good rhythm with lyrics that make you wonder about his loss..........
Thursday, November 7, 2013
The cutest sight this morning
November 07/13
Well the headaches have finally gone away and I'm no longer feeling nauseated every time I get up or move so I think the concussion has cleared.....whew!
I've been slowly working my way back into the groove of day to day activities as the cobwebs have been shoved back into the corners where they belong....OK......not really shoved into the corners so please no messages about how unsanitary I must be........
Yesterday was Moki's trip to the groomer and I have to say that they did a great job taking my bearded lady puppy and turning her back into a little diva princess. I do mean diva princess in the truest definition as she knows when she is looking good and has the strut to show for it, thanks to Stella and other ladies at bus stop across the street from my house. Any morning they are waiting for the bus that sees us walk by is a morning of soft voices telling Moki how cute she is, her response is to arch her back and look back at me over her shoulder as if to say "pay attention human, these people know how to treat me"....little do they know what a bed hog a small puppy can be or how demanding of my time and attention lol
But none of this really explains the cutest sight I saw this morning so before I digress further from the point let me continue with the story.
As I left my place this morning I shivered walking down the sidewalk as it has grown quite cold lately and wondered if I should go back and grab a toque and gloves but Moki's insistent pull on the leash told me that wasn't going to go over well so I bit the bullet and kept on walking, checking out the leaves on the front lawn and making a mental note to rake them this weekend, as we walked I heard a slight noise from behind and turned to see what caused it only to see a young lad, maybe a few years younger than my son walking down the street.
I didn't give him a second thought and continued walking until I reached the gap between the houses heading into the park near my place and paused to let Moki sniff the bus stop sign like she does every single time we walk past it. As she did her thing I looked down the path to see a young girl walking, more like pacing, back and forth across the path and didn't really think about it as Moki sensed her presence and being the social puppy that she is pulled on the leash to head towards her so she could make a new friend. Knowing how excited she can get when around new people I shortened her leash in order to keep her from jumping should the girl let her come close. Again I heard that sound and looked over my shoulder again to see the young boy now walking a few paces behind us with a very shy smile on his face.
As the girl looked up and past Moki and I she saw the boy and her shy smile was a perfect match for his, they seemed to hesitate as he drew up near her and than just as suddenly without a word both turned and walked side by side down the path towards the school that sits at the end of the park, not saying a word but still communicating with one another nonetheless.
Moki didn't know what to make of things as she felt left out and wanted to follow them but I crouched down to rub her back and softly told her "not this time princess as those two are deep in the midst of some serious puppy love".......almost as if on cue I watched as the young girl leaned against him and they ever so slowly held hands, fingers entwined with each other......
Moki gave a soft whine as if to voice her approval and turned to walk down the other path that loops around the play structure giving them space in her own special way. As she pulled on the leash to lead me me further into the park I smiled and watched the young couple as they neared the end of the park and the looming confines of the school yard beyond, leaning away from one another, as if unwilling to share the feelings they have for one another with the rest of the world.
As I walked home I was smiling and felt this sense of contentment deep inside.....maybe my heart grew two sizes bigger as the thought that love blooms all around no matter the time of year made me realize that love comes when it is ready...not when we want it, but more often than not when we least expect it and need it the most....it doesn't always come in the shape we want but in the form that provides us the relief we need.
I'll admit that lately my tone as been a bit down as being alone has begun to wear on me a bit, but I've come to realize that I'm never really alone as I have my family and even when the kids aren't at my place I have Moki......and nothing helps overcome a bad day like watching her do her happy dance when I first get home or taking her for a walk......on our walks we both end up learning a little bit more about the world around us...
My musical suggestion for today is "Stubborn Love" by The Lumineers
Keep your head up and until we meet again,
Marcus
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
Well the headaches have finally gone away and I'm no longer feeling nauseated every time I get up or move so I think the concussion has cleared.....whew!
I've been slowly working my way back into the groove of day to day activities as the cobwebs have been shoved back into the corners where they belong....OK......not really shoved into the corners so please no messages about how unsanitary I must be........
Yesterday was Moki's trip to the groomer and I have to say that they did a great job taking my bearded lady puppy and turning her back into a little diva princess. I do mean diva princess in the truest definition as she knows when she is looking good and has the strut to show for it, thanks to Stella and other ladies at bus stop across the street from my house. Any morning they are waiting for the bus that sees us walk by is a morning of soft voices telling Moki how cute she is, her response is to arch her back and look back at me over her shoulder as if to say "pay attention human, these people know how to treat me"....little do they know what a bed hog a small puppy can be or how demanding of my time and attention lol
But none of this really explains the cutest sight I saw this morning so before I digress further from the point let me continue with the story.
As I left my place this morning I shivered walking down the sidewalk as it has grown quite cold lately and wondered if I should go back and grab a toque and gloves but Moki's insistent pull on the leash told me that wasn't going to go over well so I bit the bullet and kept on walking, checking out the leaves on the front lawn and making a mental note to rake them this weekend, as we walked I heard a slight noise from behind and turned to see what caused it only to see a young lad, maybe a few years younger than my son walking down the street.
I didn't give him a second thought and continued walking until I reached the gap between the houses heading into the park near my place and paused to let Moki sniff the bus stop sign like she does every single time we walk past it. As she did her thing I looked down the path to see a young girl walking, more like pacing, back and forth across the path and didn't really think about it as Moki sensed her presence and being the social puppy that she is pulled on the leash to head towards her so she could make a new friend. Knowing how excited she can get when around new people I shortened her leash in order to keep her from jumping should the girl let her come close. Again I heard that sound and looked over my shoulder again to see the young boy now walking a few paces behind us with a very shy smile on his face.
As the girl looked up and past Moki and I she saw the boy and her shy smile was a perfect match for his, they seemed to hesitate as he drew up near her and than just as suddenly without a word both turned and walked side by side down the path towards the school that sits at the end of the park, not saying a word but still communicating with one another nonetheless.
Moki didn't know what to make of things as she felt left out and wanted to follow them but I crouched down to rub her back and softly told her "not this time princess as those two are deep in the midst of some serious puppy love".......almost as if on cue I watched as the young girl leaned against him and they ever so slowly held hands, fingers entwined with each other......
Moki gave a soft whine as if to voice her approval and turned to walk down the other path that loops around the play structure giving them space in her own special way. As she pulled on the leash to lead me me further into the park I smiled and watched the young couple as they neared the end of the park and the looming confines of the school yard beyond, leaning away from one another, as if unwilling to share the feelings they have for one another with the rest of the world.
As I walked home I was smiling and felt this sense of contentment deep inside.....maybe my heart grew two sizes bigger as the thought that love blooms all around no matter the time of year made me realize that love comes when it is ready...not when we want it, but more often than not when we least expect it and need it the most....it doesn't always come in the shape we want but in the form that provides us the relief we need.
I'll admit that lately my tone as been a bit down as being alone has begun to wear on me a bit, but I've come to realize that I'm never really alone as I have my family and even when the kids aren't at my place I have Moki......and nothing helps overcome a bad day like watching her do her happy dance when I first get home or taking her for a walk......on our walks we both end up learning a little bit more about the world around us...
My musical suggestion for today is "Stubborn Love" by The Lumineers
Keep your head up and until we meet again,
Marcus
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Just call me McKlutzy
November 03/13
So yesterday I was doing some stuff around the house getting ready for winter - things like a final rake of the leaves, cleaning out the eaves troughs (again), putting the cover on the central ac unit, and changing the floor mats on the car.
I didn't get winter mats for the my old Tucson and they took a beating so when I traded it in and got a new Accent hatchback I told myself to treat this one better so I could pass it down to my son when he starts driving in a few years.
Well when I was changing them I forgot that the Accent has a lower frame and after pulling out the old mats I turned around to put the new ones in and slammed my head into the door frame - literally slammed it so hard I was seeing stars and pretty much gave myself a slight concussion. I've been battling headaches, some dizziness, and a little nausea ever since the incident.
Needless to say all my plans for the weekend have been tossed to the side as I try and right the ship that is my mental acuity and clear the constant cobwebs that seem to make everything a little fuzzy around the edges. Shame there isn't a mental Swiffer for cleaning out the corners of ones mind now and than.
I was doing pretty good until tonight when I convinced myself that going to watch my sons hockey game wouldn't cause me any problems - I couldn't have been more wrong as the sounds in the arena were way too loud for my head, the glare off the ice made my eyes hurt, and once again I just want to curl up around the porcelain God and worship till my stomach is settled.
All this being said to say that the really cool blog posting I started to write yesterday morning is on hold for the moment while I recover.
This one feels worse than the one I got back in 2001 when I literally lost track of my son goofing around in the garage as I sat on the front step for about 30 minutes, me thinks a visit to my doctor might be in order tomorrow and I'll probably see if I can skip coaching the soccer game tomorrow night as I can't see how my yelling is going to do my head any good and it took all of my efforts not to yell tonight - they would have been words of support tonight versus instructions tomorrow night.
Wishing every one a good week and hopefully some warmth as it has been a wee bit cold the last few days :)
Marcus
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
So yesterday I was doing some stuff around the house getting ready for winter - things like a final rake of the leaves, cleaning out the eaves troughs (again), putting the cover on the central ac unit, and changing the floor mats on the car.
I didn't get winter mats for the my old Tucson and they took a beating so when I traded it in and got a new Accent hatchback I told myself to treat this one better so I could pass it down to my son when he starts driving in a few years.
Well when I was changing them I forgot that the Accent has a lower frame and after pulling out the old mats I turned around to put the new ones in and slammed my head into the door frame - literally slammed it so hard I was seeing stars and pretty much gave myself a slight concussion. I've been battling headaches, some dizziness, and a little nausea ever since the incident.
Needless to say all my plans for the weekend have been tossed to the side as I try and right the ship that is my mental acuity and clear the constant cobwebs that seem to make everything a little fuzzy around the edges. Shame there isn't a mental Swiffer for cleaning out the corners of ones mind now and than.
I was doing pretty good until tonight when I convinced myself that going to watch my sons hockey game wouldn't cause me any problems - I couldn't have been more wrong as the sounds in the arena were way too loud for my head, the glare off the ice made my eyes hurt, and once again I just want to curl up around the porcelain God and worship till my stomach is settled.
All this being said to say that the really cool blog posting I started to write yesterday morning is on hold for the moment while I recover.
This one feels worse than the one I got back in 2001 when I literally lost track of my son goofing around in the garage as I sat on the front step for about 30 minutes, me thinks a visit to my doctor might be in order tomorrow and I'll probably see if I can skip coaching the soccer game tomorrow night as I can't see how my yelling is going to do my head any good and it took all of my efforts not to yell tonight - they would have been words of support tonight versus instructions tomorrow night.
Wishing every one a good week and hopefully some warmth as it has been a wee bit cold the last few days :)
Marcus
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
I'm mean!
October 29/13
So Monday night after posting about my troubles trying to express myself and the feeling of emptiness I've had inside me I had to leave the house and go and coach my daughters women's indoor soccer teams 10pm game - literally my least favourite game time so I really have to focus during these games or my mind wanders all over the place.
So far this season the ladies haven't played to their potential and are only 1 win, 1 loss, and 2 ties through the start of last nights game. Granted we did move up a division in order to have a little more competition after winning 26 and losing 4 last year but in all honesty they should have won at least 3 of the first 4 games and have been a bit of a disappointment, something I've let them know at the end of games when they've had mental meltdowns that cost them games.
Now last nights game was against a new opponent but a few of the girls had seen them when subbing for other teams and advised me that they liked to play rough in order to take teams out of any schemes. My daughters team is built on speed and wicked ball skills but what a lot of other teams don't see is the inner toughness they possess, this often comes at their own peril.
Last nights game was different as we came out with a full squad and 4 spares to boot, I told the ladies we were going to run from the first whistle and I'd be subbing every 3 minutes, that anything less than 100% effort would result in being pulled, that rotating back to play defence was more critical than pushing forward into the attacking end. Well we have one outside midfielder who isn't too keen on playing defence so that message was mostly meant for her and I waited for her first test of my resolve, and sure enough it came fairly quickly as she didn't rotate back and let her unmarked player get a hard shot off that our goalie almost lost sight of in the scrum in front of our goal. As we started on a counter attack I called her off and subbed for her faster than you could blink an eye lash. She gave me her look of death for having the balls to pull her from the game and I stared right back and told her flat out "when you're ready to play some defence let me know and I'll try and work you back into the rotation. If you can't bother to come back and help defensively than go home"
That little exchange was caught by several of the other team and looks were passed back and forth about how stupid I must be to take my fasted player off the pitch. We scored 45 seconds after the sub and were up 2-0 at the half without the presence of our speedster.
One thing I noticed was that on every kick in the other team was crowding the line and not giving us the required 3 yards clearance and the referee wasn't doing anything about it so I decided to solve another problem right away. At the half as the ladies were getting water I briefly talked them through the good points from the first half, reminded them to avoid the mental letdown that being up by 2 goals has caused us in previous weeks, and then told them that every time the other team crowded them on kick-In's they were to kick the ball directly into the other player until she moved back. Now two of my primary kickers have a hard shot so they looked at me as if to ask if I was sure about this and I told them that until such time as the referee moved them off the line we had to deal with it and stop trying to kick around them as we were losing possession after possession.
Not 20 seconds into the 2nd half and we earned a kick in and sure enough one of the other team came to crowd the line, my player looked at me, and I smiled and told her to let it rip. She nailed the other player in the side and the ball went out of play so still our possession. As she went to take the kick the other player stepped back up to crowd the line, my player looked at me, and I smiled once more and said "if she wants the bruises than oblige her" whereupon she got nailed and once again lost possession to us. As we lined up to try for a third time the referee blew his whistle and came over to the side line, not to yell at us as I originally thought, but to warn them about crowding the line and forced them back. Now this happened throughout the entire second half and every single time my players took a hard shot that left bruises, it got so bad that at one point the referee started awarding us free kicks and cost them a goal. As the game ended I overhead one of my players say to another "Man I'm glad coach is back" with a smile.
We ended up winning 5-2 on some very hard play and I yelled more than usual about positioning and efforts than I have in many a game. It felt good and from the comments and reactions by my ladies it was long overdue and appreciated.
After the game was over I said my goodbyes and headed out to the parking lot. I loaded my soccer bag into the trunk and as I was leaving drove past my daughter who was walking to her car when she waved me to slow down, I did so as I rolled down my window, and she leaned over to high give me and declared that several of the other team had stopped to talk to her after I left the Sensplex to tell her that they wanted to punch me for being so mean to my team, what with making them kick the ball like they did and yelling at them. My daughter said she laughed at the comments and when one asked her if I was someones dad on her team said she just smiled and said I was without divulging I was her dad, that they like it when I get on them about poor play and being lazy on the pitch. They questioned her on why the team even needs a coach when they play so well and my daughter told them that this same team won 8 and lost 22 games 2 years ago without a coach and that last year the same exact squad went 26-4 and the only difference was adding me as coach and listening to instructions. She said they'd just as prefer dealing with me than losing games and walked away.
So now I've gotten several emails this week from the ladies and almost all have started off with "Dear Mean Coach".......seems like my smart ass daughter has shared her exchange with rest of the team lol
Oh, and the speedster who wouldn't play defence sent me a message asking if she could show up early next week before our game to work on her defensive responsibilities.
While I may still be struggling with that damn hole inside me least I have little things like this to show me not all is lost :)
A musical recommendation for you to consider: Au Revoir by OneRepublic
Marcus
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
So Monday night after posting about my troubles trying to express myself and the feeling of emptiness I've had inside me I had to leave the house and go and coach my daughters women's indoor soccer teams 10pm game - literally my least favourite game time so I really have to focus during these games or my mind wanders all over the place.
So far this season the ladies haven't played to their potential and are only 1 win, 1 loss, and 2 ties through the start of last nights game. Granted we did move up a division in order to have a little more competition after winning 26 and losing 4 last year but in all honesty they should have won at least 3 of the first 4 games and have been a bit of a disappointment, something I've let them know at the end of games when they've had mental meltdowns that cost them games.
Now last nights game was against a new opponent but a few of the girls had seen them when subbing for other teams and advised me that they liked to play rough in order to take teams out of any schemes. My daughters team is built on speed and wicked ball skills but what a lot of other teams don't see is the inner toughness they possess, this often comes at their own peril.
Last nights game was different as we came out with a full squad and 4 spares to boot, I told the ladies we were going to run from the first whistle and I'd be subbing every 3 minutes, that anything less than 100% effort would result in being pulled, that rotating back to play defence was more critical than pushing forward into the attacking end. Well we have one outside midfielder who isn't too keen on playing defence so that message was mostly meant for her and I waited for her first test of my resolve, and sure enough it came fairly quickly as she didn't rotate back and let her unmarked player get a hard shot off that our goalie almost lost sight of in the scrum in front of our goal. As we started on a counter attack I called her off and subbed for her faster than you could blink an eye lash. She gave me her look of death for having the balls to pull her from the game and I stared right back and told her flat out "when you're ready to play some defence let me know and I'll try and work you back into the rotation. If you can't bother to come back and help defensively than go home"
That little exchange was caught by several of the other team and looks were passed back and forth about how stupid I must be to take my fasted player off the pitch. We scored 45 seconds after the sub and were up 2-0 at the half without the presence of our speedster.
One thing I noticed was that on every kick in the other team was crowding the line and not giving us the required 3 yards clearance and the referee wasn't doing anything about it so I decided to solve another problem right away. At the half as the ladies were getting water I briefly talked them through the good points from the first half, reminded them to avoid the mental letdown that being up by 2 goals has caused us in previous weeks, and then told them that every time the other team crowded them on kick-In's they were to kick the ball directly into the other player until she moved back. Now two of my primary kickers have a hard shot so they looked at me as if to ask if I was sure about this and I told them that until such time as the referee moved them off the line we had to deal with it and stop trying to kick around them as we were losing possession after possession.
Not 20 seconds into the 2nd half and we earned a kick in and sure enough one of the other team came to crowd the line, my player looked at me, and I smiled and told her to let it rip. She nailed the other player in the side and the ball went out of play so still our possession. As she went to take the kick the other player stepped back up to crowd the line, my player looked at me, and I smiled once more and said "if she wants the bruises than oblige her" whereupon she got nailed and once again lost possession to us. As we lined up to try for a third time the referee blew his whistle and came over to the side line, not to yell at us as I originally thought, but to warn them about crowding the line and forced them back. Now this happened throughout the entire second half and every single time my players took a hard shot that left bruises, it got so bad that at one point the referee started awarding us free kicks and cost them a goal. As the game ended I overhead one of my players say to another "Man I'm glad coach is back" with a smile.
We ended up winning 5-2 on some very hard play and I yelled more than usual about positioning and efforts than I have in many a game. It felt good and from the comments and reactions by my ladies it was long overdue and appreciated.
After the game was over I said my goodbyes and headed out to the parking lot. I loaded my soccer bag into the trunk and as I was leaving drove past my daughter who was walking to her car when she waved me to slow down, I did so as I rolled down my window, and she leaned over to high give me and declared that several of the other team had stopped to talk to her after I left the Sensplex to tell her that they wanted to punch me for being so mean to my team, what with making them kick the ball like they did and yelling at them. My daughter said she laughed at the comments and when one asked her if I was someones dad on her team said she just smiled and said I was without divulging I was her dad, that they like it when I get on them about poor play and being lazy on the pitch. They questioned her on why the team even needs a coach when they play so well and my daughter told them that this same team won 8 and lost 22 games 2 years ago without a coach and that last year the same exact squad went 26-4 and the only difference was adding me as coach and listening to instructions. She said they'd just as prefer dealing with me than losing games and walked away.
So now I've gotten several emails this week from the ladies and almost all have started off with "Dear Mean Coach".......seems like my smart ass daughter has shared her exchange with rest of the team lol
Oh, and the speedster who wouldn't play defence sent me a message asking if she could show up early next week before our game to work on her defensive responsibilities.
While I may still be struggling with that damn hole inside me least I have little things like this to show me not all is lost :)
A musical recommendation for you to consider: Au Revoir by OneRepublic
Marcus
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
IT Support is on the case
October 30/13
Please note that due to numerous, well several, ok maybe only two, messages to the IT Support Desk that management has opened up a work ticket to have the problem of the non-blogging blogger looked into.
Error Code 125HGYR817239QED1984
We have dispatched a team of monkey drones to deal with this problem, should you come across these monkey drones please provide them with the above referenced error code.
We expect service to be back online within 24-48 hours. Should you continue to experience disruptions we suggest taking the following steps:
Pour yourself a drink. This technician recommends a cold Stella Artois
Put on some music.
Close your eyes and let the muscles in your shoulders relax
Visualize your happy place
We didn't mean that happy place, sheesh, this is a PG rated blog so get a room already
Come back later and see if those damn monkey drones were able to fix the problem
If the site is still not accessible it means those damn monkey drones have escalated the issue up the ladder and you can expect the Three Toed Sloths to be dealing with it shortly - heaven help us should that be the case
In order to kill some time we suggest the following song: Wicked Game by Emika
Sincerely,
Senior Management and the current controllers of that little place we like to call Marcus' conscience
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
Please note that due to numerous, well several, ok maybe only two, messages to the IT Support Desk that management has opened up a work ticket to have the problem of the non-blogging blogger looked into.
Error Code 125HGYR817239QED1984
We have dispatched a team of monkey drones to deal with this problem, should you come across these monkey drones please provide them with the above referenced error code.
We expect service to be back online within 24-48 hours. Should you continue to experience disruptions we suggest taking the following steps:
Pour yourself a drink. This technician recommends a cold Stella Artois
Put on some music.
Close your eyes and let the muscles in your shoulders relax
Visualize your happy place
We didn't mean that happy place, sheesh, this is a PG rated blog so get a room already
Come back later and see if those damn monkey drones were able to fix the problem
If the site is still not accessible it means those damn monkey drones have escalated the issue up the ladder and you can expect the Three Toed Sloths to be dealing with it shortly - heaven help us should that be the case
In order to kill some time we suggest the following song: Wicked Game by Emika
Sincerely,
Senior Management and the current controllers of that little place we like to call Marcus' conscience
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
Monday, October 28, 2013
I struggle at the moment to write anything
October 28/13
I find myself struggling to write these past few days, not for want of a topic, nor for lack of desire to express myself, but yet I still struggle to put thought to page....
I feel as if there is a hole inside me consuming my energy and leaving me adrift, emotionless and spent. I know this is a false feeling as emotions race through me as fast as the messages can be transmitted from synapse to synapse.
I sat on my deck yesterday after cutting the lawn and raking the leaves and tried to figure out why I feel this sense of loss and came up with naught. My life is not empty as my children come and go in time spent with me, my work forces me to consider alternatives in dealing with new reporting structures and demands, and while I feel the last round has passed on the greens I know this isn't the cause of my dismay.
I wonder if this is the part of growing old alone that I have feared all along making its presence felt.
Is this what entropy in a human feels like?
Might this be my hearts way of telling me that the time and energy searching to find the one has been for nothing and I should possibly stop the effort and focus on the here and now?
There is a small part of me that weeps daily at the loss I feel, the loss of being alone, the endless times I make a meal that will only feed one, the times spent making one half of a bed slept in by one person night after night, the times I've wanted to shout out when in the kitchen "Hun, do you want a drink?"...................
Is this a phase that will pass with time or remain to remind me of what once was but shall be never more........
Has that half joked unofficial vow of celibacy become more reality than I ever dreamed possible?
Does the a fact that many a day passes without even the merest thought of physical comfort with a partner mean that part of me is dead, to never be awakened again.....
As I sit in my office staring at these words on the monitor, every now and than pausing to sip from the first weekday drink I have allowed myself in more years than I care to count, with the dog laying at my feet, I know that there are worse ways for my life to have gone and yet I resist the thought that this is all I have left to face day by day........
Tomorrow will bring new opportunities to reassert my will to experience love and romance, the hope is that the will to meet them presents itself once more........
It has been awhile since I made any musical recommendations and guess maybe it is time I resume that pursuit so here is one to listen to and ponder....it seems to reflect my mood quite well today
Here With Me by Susie Suh & Robot Koch
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
I find myself struggling to write these past few days, not for want of a topic, nor for lack of desire to express myself, but yet I still struggle to put thought to page....
I feel as if there is a hole inside me consuming my energy and leaving me adrift, emotionless and spent. I know this is a false feeling as emotions race through me as fast as the messages can be transmitted from synapse to synapse.
I sat on my deck yesterday after cutting the lawn and raking the leaves and tried to figure out why I feel this sense of loss and came up with naught. My life is not empty as my children come and go in time spent with me, my work forces me to consider alternatives in dealing with new reporting structures and demands, and while I feel the last round has passed on the greens I know this isn't the cause of my dismay.
I wonder if this is the part of growing old alone that I have feared all along making its presence felt.
Is this what entropy in a human feels like?
Might this be my hearts way of telling me that the time and energy searching to find the one has been for nothing and I should possibly stop the effort and focus on the here and now?
There is a small part of me that weeps daily at the loss I feel, the loss of being alone, the endless times I make a meal that will only feed one, the times spent making one half of a bed slept in by one person night after night, the times I've wanted to shout out when in the kitchen "Hun, do you want a drink?"...................
Is this a phase that will pass with time or remain to remind me of what once was but shall be never more........
Has that half joked unofficial vow of celibacy become more reality than I ever dreamed possible?
Does the a fact that many a day passes without even the merest thought of physical comfort with a partner mean that part of me is dead, to never be awakened again.....
As I sit in my office staring at these words on the monitor, every now and than pausing to sip from the first weekday drink I have allowed myself in more years than I care to count, with the dog laying at my feet, I know that there are worse ways for my life to have gone and yet I resist the thought that this is all I have left to face day by day........
Tomorrow will bring new opportunities to reassert my will to experience love and romance, the hope is that the will to meet them presents itself once more........
It has been awhile since I made any musical recommendations and guess maybe it is time I resume that pursuit so here is one to listen to and ponder....it seems to reflect my mood quite well today
Here With Me by Susie Suh & Robot Koch
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail.com
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Comments welcome
I've been asked if it is ok to comment on any postings I make and I'd love to hear back from any of you who read the blog.
You can comment directly to the blog itself or send me an email at:
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail,com
You can send me suggestions for a blog topic, let me know how the blog made you feel, or even tell me you think I'm full of crap if something rubs you the wrong way.
Open communications are a big thing with me, something I've done my best to instill with my kids, and all the players and parents on teams I've coached.
I'm not perfect, far from it, and I understand that sometimes we all need to be reminded of just how mortal we are.......
You can comment directly to the blog itself or send me an email at:
observations.of.a.single.man@gmail,com
You can send me suggestions for a blog topic, let me know how the blog made you feel, or even tell me you think I'm full of crap if something rubs you the wrong way.
Open communications are a big thing with me, something I've done my best to instill with my kids, and all the players and parents on teams I've coached.
I'm not perfect, far from it, and I understand that sometimes we all need to be reminded of just how mortal we are.......
What is the definition of bullying?
October 23/13
So just what is the definition of bullying?
I thought this was a pretty easy thing to understand but am starting to wonder if I'm out of touch with the times.
In my mind bullying is the intentional attempt by one person to another that results in harm. The harm can be emotional or physical. Physical may include fighting, throwing things at a person, damaging someone else's property, depriving them access to a location, or even taking said property away. Emotional harm could include name calling, words of encouragement to others to get them to ignore a person, excluding them from a group or event to which they are entitled and said exclusion could go a long ways to ostracizing them.
I'll concede there are probably many more ways to bully a person but those are the ones that come to mind at the spur of the moment.
What I never considered bullying was losing a game. A simple game that both parties chose to participate in over the course of a set time frame.
Sports are important as they teach us how to get along to meet a common objective while also offering some form of exercise and in some cases a method for community bonding.
High school sports are a prime example of this and depending on the state the importance changes based on the sport. Indiana, Illinois, Ohio, and New York are huge basketball states. Texas, Virginia, Alabama, and Florida are massive football states. Football is so important in Texas that it is usually ranked in this order: Football, Family, and Faith.
Last week there was a game played down in Dallas at the 4A level between Aledo High and Western Hills High that resulted in a very lopsided score. How lopsided? Try Aledo 91 and Western Hills 0 lopsided.
Now before anyone gets all riled up listen to to a few facts. Aledo is the top ranked school in the Texas 4A division and Western isn't even close to breaking the top 50 in that class. Now I went to high school in San Diego where the schools are ranked based on size so I'm guessing that is the case in Texas as well. Aledo runs a common themed offensive scheme from Pop Warner where most kids get introduced to organized football through to the high school. This offers a distinct advantage as players don't need to learn a new system as they work their way up the age classes. Aledo only played it's 1st team players for the the first 20 plays of the game, played the 2nd team for the next 20 plays, and finished the game using its third and fourth string offence and defence. The game clock was left running without any stoppages for incomplete passes or players being forced out of bounds.
The head coach for Western Hills said he had no problems with the score and understood that Aledo did all they could to keep things under control with the exception of taking a knee every down or playing with fewer players.
The problem comes from one parent from Western Hills High School who has filed a formal complaint of bullying against the head coach of Aledo High. You read that right, a formal complaint of bullying. Since when did getting beaten in the field of play amount to bullying?
I wonder if this same parent storms into the math department when young Johnny fails a math test because he decided not to study claiming his son is being bullied by the math teacher? Will they show up at his first job to belittle his bosses should they dare give him a poor performance review?
Maybe mom or dad should ask themselves what could the team he is on have done different to help reduce the score instead of whining and making a formal complaint. Just as a further ado, Western Hills had lost prior games by upwards of 60+ points on at least 2 other occasions - did they file bullying charges after those games?
Bullying is a young woman in Florida getting texts telling her to die, nobody likes you, you won't be missed. Bullying is one teenager commenting to another who she knows lacks self confidence about her appearance "are you really going to eat that donut?" Bullying is being shoved in a locker because you wore a shirt that looks like it came from Star Trek or you were reading a comic book.
Bullying is not, has never been , nor will ever be the result of losing a game.
I've coached for years at both the competitive and house league levels and had great teams, mid level teams, and a couple of teams so bad that winning was measured in getting a goal scored or making some nice passes. I never ran up a score nor did I ever whine when my team was badly beaten on the field of play. I've always tried my best to teach my players that how you carry yourself after a game is as important as how you played the game itself.
There are times I miss living in the states and than there are times like this when I'm so glad I moved away as I can't believe the number of useless people who have nothing better to do than waste a school principals time having to respond to a formal complaint that his coach bullied the other school by winning a game.
I weep for America's future if this is how its youth are being taught to handle adversity.
So just what is the definition of bullying?
I thought this was a pretty easy thing to understand but am starting to wonder if I'm out of touch with the times.
In my mind bullying is the intentional attempt by one person to another that results in harm. The harm can be emotional or physical. Physical may include fighting, throwing things at a person, damaging someone else's property, depriving them access to a location, or even taking said property away. Emotional harm could include name calling, words of encouragement to others to get them to ignore a person, excluding them from a group or event to which they are entitled and said exclusion could go a long ways to ostracizing them.
I'll concede there are probably many more ways to bully a person but those are the ones that come to mind at the spur of the moment.
What I never considered bullying was losing a game. A simple game that both parties chose to participate in over the course of a set time frame.
Sports are important as they teach us how to get along to meet a common objective while also offering some form of exercise and in some cases a method for community bonding.
High school sports are a prime example of this and depending on the state the importance changes based on the sport. Indiana, Illinois, Ohio, and New York are huge basketball states. Texas, Virginia, Alabama, and Florida are massive football states. Football is so important in Texas that it is usually ranked in this order: Football, Family, and Faith.
Last week there was a game played down in Dallas at the 4A level between Aledo High and Western Hills High that resulted in a very lopsided score. How lopsided? Try Aledo 91 and Western Hills 0 lopsided.
Now before anyone gets all riled up listen to to a few facts. Aledo is the top ranked school in the Texas 4A division and Western isn't even close to breaking the top 50 in that class. Now I went to high school in San Diego where the schools are ranked based on size so I'm guessing that is the case in Texas as well. Aledo runs a common themed offensive scheme from Pop Warner where most kids get introduced to organized football through to the high school. This offers a distinct advantage as players don't need to learn a new system as they work their way up the age classes. Aledo only played it's 1st team players for the the first 20 plays of the game, played the 2nd team for the next 20 plays, and finished the game using its third and fourth string offence and defence. The game clock was left running without any stoppages for incomplete passes or players being forced out of bounds.
The head coach for Western Hills said he had no problems with the score and understood that Aledo did all they could to keep things under control with the exception of taking a knee every down or playing with fewer players.
The problem comes from one parent from Western Hills High School who has filed a formal complaint of bullying against the head coach of Aledo High. You read that right, a formal complaint of bullying. Since when did getting beaten in the field of play amount to bullying?
I wonder if this same parent storms into the math department when young Johnny fails a math test because he decided not to study claiming his son is being bullied by the math teacher? Will they show up at his first job to belittle his bosses should they dare give him a poor performance review?
Maybe mom or dad should ask themselves what could the team he is on have done different to help reduce the score instead of whining and making a formal complaint. Just as a further ado, Western Hills had lost prior games by upwards of 60+ points on at least 2 other occasions - did they file bullying charges after those games?
Bullying is a young woman in Florida getting texts telling her to die, nobody likes you, you won't be missed. Bullying is one teenager commenting to another who she knows lacks self confidence about her appearance "are you really going to eat that donut?" Bullying is being shoved in a locker because you wore a shirt that looks like it came from Star Trek or you were reading a comic book.
Bullying is not, has never been , nor will ever be the result of losing a game.
I've coached for years at both the competitive and house league levels and had great teams, mid level teams, and a couple of teams so bad that winning was measured in getting a goal scored or making some nice passes. I never ran up a score nor did I ever whine when my team was badly beaten on the field of play. I've always tried my best to teach my players that how you carry yourself after a game is as important as how you played the game itself.
There are times I miss living in the states and than there are times like this when I'm so glad I moved away as I can't believe the number of useless people who have nothing better to do than waste a school principals time having to respond to a formal complaint that his coach bullied the other school by winning a game.
I weep for America's future if this is how its youth are being taught to handle adversity.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Do you ever pause and marvel at how small the world has become
October 19/13
I sat down to write a posting and just before I started I took a gander at the blog stats as kept by Google and was amazed to see not only the number of views but the location they are coming from.
I've hit over 2K view and it's been viewed in over 15 countries so far.
Canada, United States, Russia, Germany, Sweden, Norway, Serbia, and Myanmar to name a few.
When I think back on some readings I've done on historical events and how the time lag could, and did stretch for days, weeks, and in some cases months it boggles me to think that literally moments after I finish this post someone sitting across the globe can pop open their laptop and read it.
Makes me wonder what my grandfathers would have thought about the internet and the advances we've seen in instant global communications.
I remember when I was young lad we'd pack up the family car and make the 4 day drive from San Diego to Regina to visit my grandfather and spend a couple of weeks at the lake cottage. I compare that to the drive I made from San Diego to Ottawa back in '95 that only took a little over 2+ days to accomplish.
I think the next time we'll experience the old version of time lags will be when we have the technology to break away from our earthly home and begin a new round of exploration.
So for everyone sitting somewhere other than Canada reading this blog I thank you and hope these little slices into who I am make you smile, make you laugh, make you giggle, maybe make you feel a tear now and again, but most of all I hope that there are times they make you pause and say to yourself "I get it, I totally understand where this guy is coming from"
I'll make one simple promise to each of you.....I'll keep being me and just writing from the heart and you just be you, the best you possible, and we'll leave everything else up to fate and karma.
Have a great Saturday night people, well except for those of you having a wonderful Sunday :)
I sat down to write a posting and just before I started I took a gander at the blog stats as kept by Google and was amazed to see not only the number of views but the location they are coming from.
I've hit over 2K view and it's been viewed in over 15 countries so far.
Canada, United States, Russia, Germany, Sweden, Norway, Serbia, and Myanmar to name a few.
When I think back on some readings I've done on historical events and how the time lag could, and did stretch for days, weeks, and in some cases months it boggles me to think that literally moments after I finish this post someone sitting across the globe can pop open their laptop and read it.
Makes me wonder what my grandfathers would have thought about the internet and the advances we've seen in instant global communications.
I remember when I was young lad we'd pack up the family car and make the 4 day drive from San Diego to Regina to visit my grandfather and spend a couple of weeks at the lake cottage. I compare that to the drive I made from San Diego to Ottawa back in '95 that only took a little over 2+ days to accomplish.
I think the next time we'll experience the old version of time lags will be when we have the technology to break away from our earthly home and begin a new round of exploration.
So for everyone sitting somewhere other than Canada reading this blog I thank you and hope these little slices into who I am make you smile, make you laugh, make you giggle, maybe make you feel a tear now and again, but most of all I hope that there are times they make you pause and say to yourself "I get it, I totally understand where this guy is coming from"
I'll make one simple promise to each of you.....I'll keep being me and just writing from the heart and you just be you, the best you possible, and we'll leave everything else up to fate and karma.
Have a great Saturday night people, well except for those of you having a wonderful Sunday :)
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Have we gone too far with being PC?
October 17/13
Have we gone too far with trying to be politically correct?
Why the question you ask?
Just read an article online about the US 9th Court of Appeals heaing a case where a California high school is being sued for abridging the first amendment rights of some students a few years back.
It appears that back on May 5th, 2010 some students came to school wearing shirts that had the American flag printed on the front and some students took exception to this and complained since May 5th is also referred to as Cinco De Mayo day and celebrates Hispanic heritage. School administrator's fearing there might be issues ordered the students to either wear the shirts inside out or go home for the day.
I don't have any issues with celebrating Cinco De Mayo or any other day that honours the heritage of any culture but I do have some issues when an American attending an American school within the borders of the United States of America is ordered to cease and desist wearing a shirt that depicts nothing offensive in nature.
Why is it that everyone has to cater to the needs and desires of a select group of people who make a decision to move to another country but don't try and assimilate into the new culture.
When I lived in California it always astounded me to get the voter package as it had to be in over 10 different languages - English, Spanish, Tagalog, and Vietnamese to name a few.
Why does everyone think this OK? If we were to move to France or Germany do you think they would suddenly start publishing all documents in English? What do you think would happen if you tried to pull that in say Iran or Saudi Arabia?
My bank ATM is now in English and at least 2 other dialects of Chinese - why?
If I was to move to another country I wouldn't expect them to cater to my inability to understand them but rather I'd work my ass off to be able to communicate with them in the language of the country.
I know there is no official language in the United States but I think that is because they never envisioned the flood of immigrants they experienced from the 1820's onward.
Canada does have an official language act and it states that English and French are the two languages of the country.
How about we all put on our big boy and big girl pants and suck it up and say enough is enough already, you want to come live in Canada and have the financial resources to take care of yourself, we'd love to have you, but make damn sure you understand that we will communicate with you in either English or French and that the customs of your old country are just that, the customs of your old country. What was acceptable there might not be acceptable here so be prepared for the change and don't whine and say it's not fair - it is fair so effing deal with it or go back and be happy there.
Have we gone too far with trying to be politically correct?
Why the question you ask?
Just read an article online about the US 9th Court of Appeals heaing a case where a California high school is being sued for abridging the first amendment rights of some students a few years back.
It appears that back on May 5th, 2010 some students came to school wearing shirts that had the American flag printed on the front and some students took exception to this and complained since May 5th is also referred to as Cinco De Mayo day and celebrates Hispanic heritage. School administrator's fearing there might be issues ordered the students to either wear the shirts inside out or go home for the day.
I don't have any issues with celebrating Cinco De Mayo or any other day that honours the heritage of any culture but I do have some issues when an American attending an American school within the borders of the United States of America is ordered to cease and desist wearing a shirt that depicts nothing offensive in nature.
Why is it that everyone has to cater to the needs and desires of a select group of people who make a decision to move to another country but don't try and assimilate into the new culture.
When I lived in California it always astounded me to get the voter package as it had to be in over 10 different languages - English, Spanish, Tagalog, and Vietnamese to name a few.
Why does everyone think this OK? If we were to move to France or Germany do you think they would suddenly start publishing all documents in English? What do you think would happen if you tried to pull that in say Iran or Saudi Arabia?
My bank ATM is now in English and at least 2 other dialects of Chinese - why?
If I was to move to another country I wouldn't expect them to cater to my inability to understand them but rather I'd work my ass off to be able to communicate with them in the language of the country.
I know there is no official language in the United States but I think that is because they never envisioned the flood of immigrants they experienced from the 1820's onward.
Canada does have an official language act and it states that English and French are the two languages of the country.
How about we all put on our big boy and big girl pants and suck it up and say enough is enough already, you want to come live in Canada and have the financial resources to take care of yourself, we'd love to have you, but make damn sure you understand that we will communicate with you in either English or French and that the customs of your old country are just that, the customs of your old country. What was acceptable there might not be acceptable here so be prepared for the change and don't whine and say it's not fair - it is fair so effing deal with it or go back and be happy there.
Love
October 17/13
Sometimes we all need a little reminder.........
Love
is patient
is kind
it does not envy
it does not boast
it is not proud
it is not rude
it is not self-seeking
it is not easily angered
keeps no record of wrongs
does not delight in evil
rejoices with the truth
always protects
always trusts
always hopes
always perseveres
never fails
Love can set you free and make you feel like a prisoner both at the same time
Love is the emotion we all have inside us but not all of us know how to use it
Love is each person's secret super power
Love can make your heart swell with passion and retract from the pain of a loss
Love is always there.....it never takes a vacation.....a day off.........it never needs one
Love is........................................................................................................................
Sometimes we all need a little reminder.........
Love
is patient
is kind
it does not envy
it does not boast
it is not proud
it is not rude
it is not self-seeking
it is not easily angered
keeps no record of wrongs
does not delight in evil
rejoices with the truth
always protects
always trusts
always hopes
always perseveres
never fails
Love can set you free and make you feel like a prisoner both at the same time
Love is the emotion we all have inside us but not all of us know how to use it
Love is each person's secret super power
Love can make your heart swell with passion and retract from the pain of a loss
Love is always there.....it never takes a vacation.....a day off.........it never needs one
Love is........................................................................................................................
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Randoms
October 16/13
No real rhyme or reason to the following, just thought I'd put them out there for consumption.
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none - William Shakespeare
To a great mind, nothing is impossible - Sherlock Homes
Still time to change the road you're on - unknown
If you have crazy friends willing to share your adventures, you have everything - unknown
We are all mortal until the first kiss or second glass of wine - unknown
How do you know when a politician is lying? He is breathing - W.C. Fields
To procrastinate is an art - me :)
Two feet forward followed by one back still beats sitting around on your ass all day - me :)
If you can read this then I suggest you thank a teacher..................
No real rhyme or reason to the following, just thought I'd put them out there for consumption.
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none - William Shakespeare
To a great mind, nothing is impossible - Sherlock Homes
Still time to change the road you're on - unknown
If you have crazy friends willing to share your adventures, you have everything - unknown
We are all mortal until the first kiss or second glass of wine - unknown
How do you know when a politician is lying? He is breathing - W.C. Fields
To procrastinate is an art - me :)
Two feet forward followed by one back still beats sitting around on your ass all day - me :)
If you can read this then I suggest you thank a teacher..................
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
I admit it, I purge and sometimes it costs me dearly
October 15/13
I started this post back on October 6th and sort of got side tracked but decided to finish it off tonight while waiting for the son to complete his math homework
=========================================================================
Someone recently asked me why it seems like I try and use sensationalistic titles and and I don't really have an answer other than it is kind of fun to come up with something catchy that might make all of you wonder just what the heck I'm up to........
Like many of you I have a cell phone, a rather nifty little product put out by that fruit logo'd company down in Cupertino, actually my son has the same model but he is much more adept at getting the most out of it than is his old man.
Over the course of time I've pretty much come to depend on that little gadget to keep me up to date on key events, wake me in the morning, track all of my contact information, both work and social, as well as let me read a book, listen to some tunes, or play around with an app when I've found myself with some time to kill.
Now every now and than I tend to review my contact list and if I come across one that I haven't spoken to in a little while I will delete them from my list, aka purge them, and move on with life. This hasn't been an issue until literally this past Thursday morning.
I was sitting at my desk trying to get the last bank recon done for work and calculate the corresponding foreign exchange adjustment when my phone beeped to let me know I had a text message, looking down I expected to see it from either of my kids or possibly my ex asking how we would get my sons hockey gear from my place to hers but was surprised to see the readout tell me it was from an unknown number without any associated name.
I read the text and had a little chuckle as it said:
"Woke up randomly last night at 2:00am and for some reason thought about your blog. Wanted to update myself, had to Google it with 'Marcus, single man, blog' Any who...all updated now and the date from hell was my fave" signed Mysterious Stranger
Now for the life of me I have no clue who this mysterious stranger is other than I'm narrowed it down that we have spoken via a dating website at some point in the past, we exchanged cell numbers, and she is really enjoying keeping me in the dark as to her identity lol
I'm a good sport so I haven't gotten upset by not knowing who she is and have been trying like crazy to figure it out based on snippets of information gleaned from our running text chat. So far without much luck but I'm one determined son of a gun so the game remains afoot.
I'll admit that this isn't the first time I've had a message pop up from someone I've talked with before and deleted from my contacts but usually they've been a tad bit more forthcoming with a name.
So now I'm starting to wonder how long does one keep a person's contact information if some time has passed between calls or messages before biting the bullet and doing some purging?
I started this post back on October 6th and sort of got side tracked but decided to finish it off tonight while waiting for the son to complete his math homework
=========================================================================
Someone recently asked me why it seems like I try and use sensationalistic titles and and I don't really have an answer other than it is kind of fun to come up with something catchy that might make all of you wonder just what the heck I'm up to........
Like many of you I have a cell phone, a rather nifty little product put out by that fruit logo'd company down in Cupertino, actually my son has the same model but he is much more adept at getting the most out of it than is his old man.
Over the course of time I've pretty much come to depend on that little gadget to keep me up to date on key events, wake me in the morning, track all of my contact information, both work and social, as well as let me read a book, listen to some tunes, or play around with an app when I've found myself with some time to kill.
Now every now and than I tend to review my contact list and if I come across one that I haven't spoken to in a little while I will delete them from my list, aka purge them, and move on with life. This hasn't been an issue until literally this past Thursday morning.
I was sitting at my desk trying to get the last bank recon done for work and calculate the corresponding foreign exchange adjustment when my phone beeped to let me know I had a text message, looking down I expected to see it from either of my kids or possibly my ex asking how we would get my sons hockey gear from my place to hers but was surprised to see the readout tell me it was from an unknown number without any associated name.
I read the text and had a little chuckle as it said:
"Woke up randomly last night at 2:00am and for some reason thought about your blog. Wanted to update myself, had to Google it with 'Marcus, single man, blog' Any who...all updated now and the date from hell was my fave" signed Mysterious Stranger
Now for the life of me I have no clue who this mysterious stranger is other than I'm narrowed it down that we have spoken via a dating website at some point in the past, we exchanged cell numbers, and she is really enjoying keeping me in the dark as to her identity lol
I'm a good sport so I haven't gotten upset by not knowing who she is and have been trying like crazy to figure it out based on snippets of information gleaned from our running text chat. So far without much luck but I'm one determined son of a gun so the game remains afoot.
I'll admit that this isn't the first time I've had a message pop up from someone I've talked with before and deleted from my contacts but usually they've been a tad bit more forthcoming with a name.
So now I'm starting to wonder how long does one keep a person's contact information if some time has passed between calls or messages before biting the bullet and doing some purging?
Monday, October 14, 2013
Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian bloggets!
October 14/13
Today is Thanksgiving in her majesty's domain formally known as Canada.
I'd like to take a moment to wish everyone who reads the blog a Happy Thanksgiving whether you are lucky enough to be Canadian or citizen of another county and find yourself working today :)
There are many things I am thankful for today, foremost are my incredible son and daughter, my health, my kids health, a career that lets me provide for myself and my children, and sometimes my 5 iron.
More posts to come this week - got two on the go and hopefully they'll be thought provoking and maybe even make you break a smile......
Today is Thanksgiving in her majesty's domain formally known as Canada.
I'd like to take a moment to wish everyone who reads the blog a Happy Thanksgiving whether you are lucky enough to be Canadian or citizen of another county and find yourself working today :)
There are many things I am thankful for today, foremost are my incredible son and daughter, my health, my kids health, a career that lets me provide for myself and my children, and sometimes my 5 iron.
More posts to come this week - got two on the go and hopefully they'll be thought provoking and maybe even make you break a smile......
Thursday, October 10, 2013
It's just a game people, calm the frick down!!!!!!!!!!
October 10/13
So yesterday I wake up and do my usual routine - take the dog for her morning walk, come home and power up the computer, make some toast, and check my emails. Nothing big in and of itself right?
What caught my eye was a story on the MSN home page that was titled "Fan confronts QB at home" and after reading the story I was just amazed at how stupid some people are when it comes to the important things in life.
Seems the NFL QB in question, Matt Schaub of the Houston Texans, had thrown his fourth pick six of the young season and has been struggling with his confidence. For those wondering, a pick six is an intercepted pass run back for a touchdown. Houston was picked as one of the preseason favourites to make a run at the Super Bowl but has struggled to 2 wins and 3 losses so far this season, some of which can be attributed to poor play by the QB.
I'm a serious sports fan and have had my heart broken by my beloved San Diego Chargers, San Diego Padres, Phoenix Suns, and Ottawa Senators more times than I'd like to remember but at no point have I ever thought it the smart move to head over to one of the players homes and confront him on his front doorstep in front of his family like the guy did in the story.
What kind of poor upbringing does it take to do something so completely asinine that a person would consider it or even follow through with it??
Now here is where this rant gets interesting so follow along.....
On the sports tab was another story about the recent decision by the Kentucky High School Athletics Associaton to ban the customary post game handshakes after repeated incidents of post game fights and violence in soccer, volleyball, basketball, and football.
It isn't limited to one sport or one gender - we're now an equal opportunity offender across sports and genders.
Now before anyone sit there and say they can see this happening in the heat of the moment with teenagers, and I'm not saying it can't happen, one of the most horrific examples quoted by the KHSAA was a brawl between the parents of two teams - we're talking the parents here people!!!
The sad fact is that too many adults place far too much importance on how kids play a game and the scores without viewing the game as an opportunity to set a good example.
I coach youth and adult soccer - been doing it for years and hope to continue doing it - and one message I've always given my teams is that no matter what the other team says or does we will play the game and conduct ourselves with pride, dignity, and respect. The moment one of you doesn't do that is the moment you start looking for a new team or coach.
I've coached win less teams and I've coached unbeaten teams, the one common thread for both has been to remind them it is just a game and meant to be fun. If you aren't having fun I'm doing something wrong - plain and simple.
We need to stop trying to live our missed opportunities through the actions of our children.
We need to step up and remind our children that games are meant to be fun.
Winning is nice, but it's not the end all be all for our youth.
Remember this one simple fact....behind every sport is the word game
IT IS JUST A GAME FOLKS SO SIT BACK AND ENJOY WATCHING YOUR KIDS PLAY A GAME !!!!!!!!!
So yesterday I wake up and do my usual routine - take the dog for her morning walk, come home and power up the computer, make some toast, and check my emails. Nothing big in and of itself right?
What caught my eye was a story on the MSN home page that was titled "Fan confronts QB at home" and after reading the story I was just amazed at how stupid some people are when it comes to the important things in life.
Seems the NFL QB in question, Matt Schaub of the Houston Texans, had thrown his fourth pick six of the young season and has been struggling with his confidence. For those wondering, a pick six is an intercepted pass run back for a touchdown. Houston was picked as one of the preseason favourites to make a run at the Super Bowl but has struggled to 2 wins and 3 losses so far this season, some of which can be attributed to poor play by the QB.
I'm a serious sports fan and have had my heart broken by my beloved San Diego Chargers, San Diego Padres, Phoenix Suns, and Ottawa Senators more times than I'd like to remember but at no point have I ever thought it the smart move to head over to one of the players homes and confront him on his front doorstep in front of his family like the guy did in the story.
What kind of poor upbringing does it take to do something so completely asinine that a person would consider it or even follow through with it??
Now here is where this rant gets interesting so follow along.....
On the sports tab was another story about the recent decision by the Kentucky High School Athletics Associaton to ban the customary post game handshakes after repeated incidents of post game fights and violence in soccer, volleyball, basketball, and football.
It isn't limited to one sport or one gender - we're now an equal opportunity offender across sports and genders.
Now before anyone sit there and say they can see this happening in the heat of the moment with teenagers, and I'm not saying it can't happen, one of the most horrific examples quoted by the KHSAA was a brawl between the parents of two teams - we're talking the parents here people!!!
The sad fact is that too many adults place far too much importance on how kids play a game and the scores without viewing the game as an opportunity to set a good example.
I coach youth and adult soccer - been doing it for years and hope to continue doing it - and one message I've always given my teams is that no matter what the other team says or does we will play the game and conduct ourselves with pride, dignity, and respect. The moment one of you doesn't do that is the moment you start looking for a new team or coach.
I've coached win less teams and I've coached unbeaten teams, the one common thread for both has been to remind them it is just a game and meant to be fun. If you aren't having fun I'm doing something wrong - plain and simple.
We need to stop trying to live our missed opportunities through the actions of our children.
We need to step up and remind our children that games are meant to be fun.
Winning is nice, but it's not the end all be all for our youth.
Remember this one simple fact....behind every sport is the word game
IT IS JUST A GAME FOLKS SO SIT BACK AND ENJOY WATCHING YOUR KIDS PLAY A GAME !!!!!!!!!
Friday, October 4, 2013
My love/hate relationship with Friday's
September 04/13 - TGIF!!!!
What a crazy week it's been for me, between coaching the opening game of my daughters women's indoor soccer team, running my son to hockey practices, updating his hockey gear to replace the stuff he outgrew over the summer, to the madness that is month end at work, I'm mentally exhausted and so ready for the weekend.
But even though it is Friday and the start of the weekend and I should be happy I'm actually kind of bummed out.
When I think of Friday's I find myself torn between feeling either both sad/happy or just plain happy.
Why do I feel this way you ask?
As with most things going on in my life it tends to somehow relate to my son.
I have shared joint custody of my son under an alternate week arrangement. One week he is with me and the other week he is with his mom. This works well for both his mom and myself as it gives us time to be a parent and some time to be single.
The problem is that today is the end of my custody week so while I'm glad it is Friday, I'm also kind of bummed out as when I come home tonight after work it will be to an empty house, well as empty as it can be when you factor in one semi-hyper puppy who is pretty tuned into my moods and will do her best to distract me from being sad.
Now next Friday will rock for me as not only will it be the end of the work week but when I get home my son will be there having caught the bus to my place directly from school.
So while I'm happy today, I'm also kind of bummed out and the rainy weather isn't going to help things at all, in fact if it rains out my two golf tee times this weekend I'm going to be one very grumpy old man come Monday lol
Are there any days of the week you prefer over another?
For some reason I seem to like Thursdays a bit more than other days....maybe because it is the run-up to the weekend and I'm still hanging with my son or expecting to see him....don't know, don't care :)
Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend - hope the colours are beginning to explode in your neck of the woods as they are looking awesome around my neighbourhood and I think a drive to the Gatineau's might be in order to get some new fall pictures.
What a crazy week it's been for me, between coaching the opening game of my daughters women's indoor soccer team, running my son to hockey practices, updating his hockey gear to replace the stuff he outgrew over the summer, to the madness that is month end at work, I'm mentally exhausted and so ready for the weekend.
But even though it is Friday and the start of the weekend and I should be happy I'm actually kind of bummed out.
When I think of Friday's I find myself torn between feeling either both sad/happy or just plain happy.
Why do I feel this way you ask?
As with most things going on in my life it tends to somehow relate to my son.
I have shared joint custody of my son under an alternate week arrangement. One week he is with me and the other week he is with his mom. This works well for both his mom and myself as it gives us time to be a parent and some time to be single.
The problem is that today is the end of my custody week so while I'm glad it is Friday, I'm also kind of bummed out as when I come home tonight after work it will be to an empty house, well as empty as it can be when you factor in one semi-hyper puppy who is pretty tuned into my moods and will do her best to distract me from being sad.
Now next Friday will rock for me as not only will it be the end of the work week but when I get home my son will be there having caught the bus to my place directly from school.
So while I'm happy today, I'm also kind of bummed out and the rainy weather isn't going to help things at all, in fact if it rains out my two golf tee times this weekend I'm going to be one very grumpy old man come Monday lol
Are there any days of the week you prefer over another?
For some reason I seem to like Thursdays a bit more than other days....maybe because it is the run-up to the weekend and I'm still hanging with my son or expecting to see him....don't know, don't care :)
Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend - hope the colours are beginning to explode in your neck of the woods as they are looking awesome around my neighbourhood and I think a drive to the Gatineau's might be in order to get some new fall pictures.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Judgemental I will be.......
October 03/13
I am a judgemental person by nature and craft.
As I make my merry way through life I observe and make comment to myself about all I see happening around me, whether it is a person, plant, animal, or object. It is the nature of the beast called Marcus to do this and I make no bones about it, in fact since you've read this blog you've been given ample forewarning and should never attempt to feign surprise from this moment forward.
I will judge you when we first meet.
Simple fact and something to be prepared to undergo.
Will I share my observations and judgement with you? Probably not, unless I find them in the extreme one way or the other.
What shall I be judging you on you may be wondering.
Will it be your looks? Possibly in a some manner, after all, we are all looking for that spark and part of it does come from the physical.
Will it be your income level? Not at all. I don't care how much money you make as long as you aren't expecting to be taken care of in any monetary way. I take care of myself financially and expect nothing more or less from any potential partner.
Will it be on who you know? Nope. Don't care and name dropping won't impress me in the least. At the end of the day I don't care what the Kardashians are doing, who is dating who in Tinsel Town, or even who is doing what around the world. We all put our clothes on the same way and I'll never understand the fascination with celebrities.
Will it be on how you spend your free time? Sure, sometimes I'll think things to myself about what you are doing. But since I am an avid golfer who spends as much time on a course as possible around my work and parental commitments, who am I to render a harsh judgement if you like power walking or shopping or meeting friends for coffee.
Will I judge you on how you treat people?
You better damn well believe I will. Hopefully I'll get the opportunity to see you interact without even knowing I'm around.
Why is this a big deal to me? Mostly because I've met my fair share of people who are fake or downright condescending to those they feel are their inferiors.
I've watched a date talk down to a server in a pub as if she couldn't write down a simple order. It left me feeling so angry that I ended the date then and there, walked over to the server and paid the tab in full and left a larger than normal gratuity to try and make amends for the shitty way she'd been treated.
How people treat one another isn't limited to the customer verbally abusing the worker but also goes both ways. Two weeks ago I was in a Mac's with my son getting us some cold drinks and a young women was in front of us in line with a bag of milk. She only had change with which to pay and appeared to be a single mom trying to make ends meet. She was clearly embarrassed to be paying in quarters, dimes, and nickels, and dropped some of the money on the floor. As she bent down to pick it up the clerk made a comment about not having all day and there being other customers waiting to pay looking in the direction of my son and I. The young lady looked up at us and turned bright red and that made me really mad. I turned to my son and told him to go out to the car and bring me the plastic ice cream container on the floor behind my seat. He smiled and ran out to the car. The clerk looked at me kind of confused and I just looked at the young girl picking up her change and winked at her.
My son came back in and handed me the container and then proceeded to help the woman pick up her change. I stepped up and politely asked if I could pay for my purchases while things got straightened out with the dropped coins. The clerk saw my $20 bill and said of course and rang up my purchases as $4.75
I put the $20 back in my pocket, opened up the container and began to count out the amount owed in nickels and dimes. The clerk asked me why I wasn't using the $20 bill? I looked at her and asked if my paying in change somehow made me a lesser customer? She said of course not! I asked what made me better than the young lady buying milk with change? She had no answer.
I made my purchase and added the cost of the milk to it as well.
As I walked out of the store I could hear the person behind me paying with all of her spare change as well.
My son smiled at me and told me he got the lesson I was trying to make and that confused me as I wasn't trying to teach him any lesson. Before I could reply he smiled and nodded towards someone outside my car door so I turned around to see the young lady smiling at us and mouthing the words "thank you" as she passed us on the sidewalk.
I've not been back to that particular Mac's since other than to stop by the next day when the manager was there to tell him about the little encounter in the hopes he might have a talk with the clerk.
I made a judgement about the clerk that day before she even dealt with me.
Will I do that again in the future?
You can bet the mortgage money on it!
I am a judgemental person by nature and craft.
As I make my merry way through life I observe and make comment to myself about all I see happening around me, whether it is a person, plant, animal, or object. It is the nature of the beast called Marcus to do this and I make no bones about it, in fact since you've read this blog you've been given ample forewarning and should never attempt to feign surprise from this moment forward.
I will judge you when we first meet.
Simple fact and something to be prepared to undergo.
Will I share my observations and judgement with you? Probably not, unless I find them in the extreme one way or the other.
What shall I be judging you on you may be wondering.
Will it be your looks? Possibly in a some manner, after all, we are all looking for that spark and part of it does come from the physical.
Will it be your income level? Not at all. I don't care how much money you make as long as you aren't expecting to be taken care of in any monetary way. I take care of myself financially and expect nothing more or less from any potential partner.
Will it be on who you know? Nope. Don't care and name dropping won't impress me in the least. At the end of the day I don't care what the Kardashians are doing, who is dating who in Tinsel Town, or even who is doing what around the world. We all put our clothes on the same way and I'll never understand the fascination with celebrities.
Will it be on how you spend your free time? Sure, sometimes I'll think things to myself about what you are doing. But since I am an avid golfer who spends as much time on a course as possible around my work and parental commitments, who am I to render a harsh judgement if you like power walking or shopping or meeting friends for coffee.
Will I judge you on how you treat people?
You better damn well believe I will. Hopefully I'll get the opportunity to see you interact without even knowing I'm around.
Why is this a big deal to me? Mostly because I've met my fair share of people who are fake or downright condescending to those they feel are their inferiors.
I've watched a date talk down to a server in a pub as if she couldn't write down a simple order. It left me feeling so angry that I ended the date then and there, walked over to the server and paid the tab in full and left a larger than normal gratuity to try and make amends for the shitty way she'd been treated.
How people treat one another isn't limited to the customer verbally abusing the worker but also goes both ways. Two weeks ago I was in a Mac's with my son getting us some cold drinks and a young women was in front of us in line with a bag of milk. She only had change with which to pay and appeared to be a single mom trying to make ends meet. She was clearly embarrassed to be paying in quarters, dimes, and nickels, and dropped some of the money on the floor. As she bent down to pick it up the clerk made a comment about not having all day and there being other customers waiting to pay looking in the direction of my son and I. The young lady looked up at us and turned bright red and that made me really mad. I turned to my son and told him to go out to the car and bring me the plastic ice cream container on the floor behind my seat. He smiled and ran out to the car. The clerk looked at me kind of confused and I just looked at the young girl picking up her change and winked at her.
My son came back in and handed me the container and then proceeded to help the woman pick up her change. I stepped up and politely asked if I could pay for my purchases while things got straightened out with the dropped coins. The clerk saw my $20 bill and said of course and rang up my purchases as $4.75
I put the $20 back in my pocket, opened up the container and began to count out the amount owed in nickels and dimes. The clerk asked me why I wasn't using the $20 bill? I looked at her and asked if my paying in change somehow made me a lesser customer? She said of course not! I asked what made me better than the young lady buying milk with change? She had no answer.
I made my purchase and added the cost of the milk to it as well.
As I walked out of the store I could hear the person behind me paying with all of her spare change as well.
My son smiled at me and told me he got the lesson I was trying to make and that confused me as I wasn't trying to teach him any lesson. Before I could reply he smiled and nodded towards someone outside my car door so I turned around to see the young lady smiling at us and mouthing the words "thank you" as she passed us on the sidewalk.
I've not been back to that particular Mac's since other than to stop by the next day when the manager was there to tell him about the little encounter in the hopes he might have a talk with the clerk.
I made a judgement about the clerk that day before she even dealt with me.
Will I do that again in the future?
You can bet the mortgage money on it!
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