I'm going to pass along what I told my kids this week......

November 19/15

So I guess the fact that I referred to C as "she who shall remain nameless" and haven't posted as many entries about her and my feelings since the breakup has a lot of the readers of my blog bothered and worried that I'm avoiding my feelings and pain.

So guess it's time I share with you what I had to tell both my kids this week after getting a text a day from them combined since the weekend checking up on me........

I'm fine!!!

The world isn't coming down on top of me, yes, my heart aches at times but that is a good thing in my books.  If I didn't feel that pain it would tell me I wasn't in love and that would have me feeling pissed off as I hate wasting my time or another person's if it isn't real.

It was real with C...the most real it's been since my separation and divorce. Honestly, probably even more real than it was with my ex for the last few years of our marriage.  The fact that I started to see and was open to the possibility of moving if she asked when her current assignment was up made it very real for me. The fact that the thought of signing a prenup didn't bother me made it very real for me.

I hurt but I'll get over it.

Someone asked me if I'd reached out to C and the answer is no.  I did that last time and it left me feeling vulnerable and if there is any reaching out I'll be on the receiving end of it. But I also know there won't be any receiving end as C doesn't roll that way lol

So I'm moving forward day by day, slowly rebuilding who I am so I can be happy, not in an attempt to win her back like has been suggested.

People.......sometimes life sucks and you don't get what you want, deal with it, I am. But I'm also grateful for what C did share with me and allowed me to understand that while I'm not perfect I might just be perfect for someone one down the road.

So here is my proposal......I'll blog about all the crazy stuff going on in my life and around me, you read the blogs and can reply or not, whatever you choose, but please stop worrying about me as I'm a grown man, mature and smart enough to know when I need to step outside my comfort zone and seek some assistance, professional assistance at that.

It's a rainy day in the nations capital but still warmer than usual this time of year, but for the rain I'd have been on a sick day getting some therapy at one of the few course still open.

M to the Z