One Question Honestly Answered - G & PG Rated

November 24/15

So here are some of the easier questions that didn't make me blush and are ready for prime time :)
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Question - Do you think anyone really gives a shit about your stupid, self centered, fucking narcissistic blog?

Answer - First off let me point out the wasted use of self centered since by definition that is exactly what a narcissistic person is all about in the first place. Second, I don't really care if anyone gives a shit, as you so eloquently put it. The choice to read the blog is up to each individual person and whether they do so or not has no bearing on how I proceed with my life or the blog. As I've stated on more than one occasion, the blog is a very cheap form of self therapy and I'm comfortable enough with who I am to admit that I need that at times.  Does the blog help anyone other than myself? I don't know but given the number of hits I'm getting I'd say it's at least providing some amusement and that can't be all bad now can it?


Question - You used to recommend songs in some of the blogs and suddenly stopped, why? I actually liked some of them.

Answer - I don't have a good answer for this one really. I think it depends on my mood and the music that is percolating around me, lately it's been a bit more down than up given my recent breakup and I'd rather recommend something that makes me feel good then songs or artists who I'm binging on as I wallow in my self despair. I will say that I've been working on consolidating several music libraries into one on my PC and should be in a position to possibly start adding this little tidbit once I'm done and have a better handle on just what is available to me.


Question - Music seems to play an important role in your life and I wonder which artists fill your iPod?

Answer - I'm almost detecting a trend here with music related questions :)  First off let me say I appreciate music in almost all forms and it's probably partially because I'm so untalented musically speaking.  I think the only thing missing from my library is opera, hard core rap, and polka.  Think along the lines of a mix that contains Foo Fighters, Kings of Leon, The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Marianas Trench, Blink 182, Norah Jones, Enya, Enigma, Smokey Robinson, Seals and Croft, Metallica, Adele, Boz Skags, Beck, Chicago, The Dandy Warhols, Cake, ELO, to just name a few.


Question - You've mentioned being on a dating site before and I wonder which one and how you found the experience?

Answer - At one time or another I've had open profiles on the big three: Plenty of Fish, Match, and eHarmony. One is a meat market where sex is the main objective, one didn't really do much for me and I have some serious doubts about how effective it is, and one has been the source of my two relationships post separation/divorce.  I think eHarmony does the best in terms of matching people up with someone who is compatible. POF is like a Chinese buffet and people treat it that way in that if they wait a little bit new profiles will pop up so there's no need to actually put any time into getting to know anyone since something fresh is just a click away.  Match might be good down in the states but I found it lacking here in Canada.


Question - Lust or Love?

Answer - Both!  Sounds impossible but it's not as I was deeply in love with C and yet couldn't get enough of her physically and found myself pretty much always aroused when around her. That's not to say I only wanted to be in bed with her but that there was a great balance in what we did when we were together. There were even times we didn't get physical and I embraced them as much as those we did. It's about balance and finding what works for each of you in order to keep things fresh.


Question - What tells you that you've found the one?

Answer - It's different for each of us but my litmus test comes down to how easy I find it to talk to her. By this I mean how easy does information flow and do I just speak what's on my mind and how I'm feeling. We all have those moments where there is some hesitation in talking about something that has happened to you but when that connection is there it just flows, that's what happened with C, I was talking about things with her that I never talked to my ex about and that was rather shocking to realize when I thought about it later.


Question - Golf comes across as an overriding interest and I wonder how you balance it with a relationship?

Answer - I've been balancing it for years when you take into account I have that all important parent relationship to manage with my kids.  But I think the question is more about having a partner and golfing as much as I'd like.  I was lucky this summer in that C knew how much I loved to golf, that it is one of the best stress relievers for me, and indulged me all the time by getting me passes to play the courses near her place up in the valley as well we driving the cart for some of my rounds. That was a first for me as I never worried about playing poorly in front of her but rather loved the company she provided as well the chance to share something I enjoy so much. My hope was to get her interested in it so we could golf together and make my dream trip down to Myrtle Beach next year.


Question - What is the hardest thing about being in a relationship?

Answer - Balancing all the demands on our time. I'm at the age where I have older children who don't always need me around, C was in the same boat as well as starting a new assignment that was really pushing her buttons. We had to balance demands from our kids, the distance, and not always being able to see one another as much as we wanted. I think we did really well balancing them until my insecurities took over and led me to being a complete fuck-tard with her when we didn't talk one day when she was in Ottawa on business.  It's one of those days I wish I could go back and relive as there are a couple of things I'd do differently.


Question - Are you dating again?

Answer - No. That isn't going to happen for a long time as I've got some serious healing to undergo and lots of things I need to do before I have my shit together enough to even think of dating again. It just wouldn't be fair to the other woman or myself as my heart still belongs to someone.


Question - Have you reached out to C since the breakup?

Answer - No, doubt I will as she was very firm in her desire to stop seeing me and I'd like to think I'm man enough to respect those wishes. Nobody wants to be that person who can't let go and ends up making a complete ass of themselves by getting clingy.


Question - First kiss, who makes the move and tongue or not?

Answer - She does as I'm always way too bat shit scared of doing or saying the wrong thing. I'm great at the talking part but usually can't read the signals for the life of me.  Type of kiss depends on the mood I'd say and how she starts it off lol


Question - Do you wear cologne?

Answer - I didn't used to wear any but have recently started wearing Mont Blanc Legend as I like the way it smells. Never really had a signature scent and not sure why.  I will say I love it when a perfume is perfectly suited for a woman and smelling it later makes me think of her....sigh


Question - What was your worst first date?

Answer - This one made me laugh as I've got two that come to mind right away.  The first was a meet-n-greet for a drink that turned into a bitch-about-my ex fest that had me dropping a $20 on the table for the drinks and walking out. Not that I expect everyone to always speak positively about their ex but this one went overboard and the odd thing was that she didn't bad mouth him as a partner but rather criticized him for being an active father and volunteering to help with school and sports activities. For those who've been reading the blog you'll know how that might sit with me.  The other was a first date where we were playing pool, something I suck at but am usually good for a laugh, and there wasn't really a connection, which is ok as it happens, so she decided to start hitting on the guys playing on the next table......like WTF right.


I'm going to close out this entry for now as I've got to get some work done today....don't I?